I wish I had a set of friends like yours, where we can just freely discuss goals, share best practices and systems and keep ourselves accountable. It would be nice to have that support system in life.
Alaska Woods sad to hear that... but if you are good then there must be others there that you haven’t met or discovered who may surprise you. Try to meet and talk more to new people. I hope you find someone ... I’m sure you will.
My advice is to be who you want to attract and be with people like whom you want to be. For example, for me, I want to be a better Catholic so I work on myself and go to lots of Catholic events in which everyone gathers from all over my city or my area of the city and those people usually have the same goals as I do and we connect and that's how I make friends (:
I remember when I first watched this video while I was addicted to drugs. Now I'm sober, and more excited about life than I've ever been- I'm ready to begin a new system. :)
Jesus loves you, turn away from your sins and he will give you eternal life. “For the wages of sin is death” Romans 8. Once I realized God knows what’s best for me and put my trust in Jesus. He healed me from my depression, suicidal thoughts and addictions. Living fully for Him and just Him is the key to live out what you were made for.
Omg! I didnt even catch that! My parents used to call me sweet potato in our language lol smh But yea...the title of this video really caught my eye. This video is so insightful.
I just read Atomic Habits. The thing that stood out for me the most, and has been an absolute game changer with habit-setting is focusing on the new identity rather than the behavior. I like that Rowena is focusing on systems over goals. I always achieve goals, and then take a vacation for some reason. Implementing systems feels more long term.
itsmissvsworld I appreciate this comment so much because it shows how people can learn long past the years when we’re called “prime”. Learning is a lifelong journey, and this is reinvigorating to see.
@@tubbysza we don't want this negativity on Rowena's channel. If you don't want to improve and be a better person, don't come to this channel, because that is what Rowena is all about. Please kindly, fuck off.
Or...Maybe at 52 years old you'd have enough wisdom and life experience that you don't need some cheesy self-help millennial whining about doing what you mastered 25 years ago. You should be writing this book, not reading it. Jezzzz.
One thing I really like about this is that it is basically implying to live in the present moment and not stress about your future. Living in the present you are more mindful of what you are doing and less prone to aggravate yourself in the long run when you notice you aren’t to your end goal yet. Enjoy the journey!
It took me a long time to recognize that my goal-oriented mindset was a huge source of unhappiness. I'd always tell myself that I'd be happy once I reached my goal and then, once I got there, it felt so empty and I'd be depressed. Systems is a good word for "the process" or "the journey". Never looked at it in that way but it's something that I'm still learning to appreciate more.
Same!!! When I finished my master's degree I fell into a deep depression because I felt like my life was over and there wasn't anything else to do. I had focused so hard on the degree for so long that I forgot to step back and look at other things.
Anybody else see a group of people enjoying themselves, talking with each other, and just wish you knew people who you could do that with? Like how nice would it be to have friends that you can go out with?
You need both. And one comes before the other. 1. WHAT (destination or intent) 2. WHY (emotional motivation and drive) 3. HOW (your system or plan) Without a goal first there is no system. You don't create systems just to create random systems. Every system has a purpose/goal/destination/intention/target/desire/intended result/outcome. Your desired intent or goal comes first. Then, determine *why* you want that. Only after those first two are written down do we create a plan, system, map, task list, action list, to-do list, set of habits, check list and so on. Now, should you focus on the result, outcome, intent, or goal? *No.* Your desired intent or destination serves as a compass to reorient you on your journey. That is its main function. Refer to it as such. Should you focus entirely on the process or system? *No.* The system or process can change. In fact, it *must* change. Use this as a flexible map of options to get you to your destination. If you become hyperfocused on your system, or specific way of doing things (with exceptions, of course, for safety checklists, etc.), then we have a word for that myopic, inflexible focus: bureaucracy. Focus on your *why.* The reasons why you *want* to pursue this thing. Use your destination to orient you like a compass, use your system or plan as a flexible map to your destination, and use your compelling, emotionally-juicy reasons *why* as your rocket fuel to get you there
Not bashing but I was really confused and distracted about the whole system point because of her doing stuff along all the video cause everything is so pretty hahahahah so your comment gave me the real clarity I needed. Thanks for taking the time to put this here!
Two key things gotten from this video, " True long term thinking is goalless thinking" and " You don't rise to your goals, you fall to the level of your systems." Alot of gem 💎 spoken. Thanks
I'm not exaggerating when I say that my whole perspective of life has changed after this video. I wasn't aware that I didn't have a system at all and that this partially made it so hard to achieve my goals.
@@moonflowr Yes, but that is no different from how life was before. All viruses cause upset and can kill. We have accepted this before and still gone on with our lives, because we cannot predict or control the behaviour of viruses beyond a certain point.
1) Input > Output 2) Clarity of purpose (what's important for you?) a. Nourish yourself with good food b. gratitude c. go outside d. using our gift to our fullest potential 3) choose to invest in yourself - make an active decision, don't let anyone make a decision for you (or be powerless by not using your power) ^my own notes
as someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, and anorexia for 8 years, nearly half my life, this is what i needed. i constantly find myself getting stuck, and my solution was always to set goals. i made long lists of goals without thinking of how to accomplish them, then lost motivation immediately. i never thought to create systems. i also really struggle to care for myself, i eat only a few things a day and sleep too much, so what you said about nourishing yourself and making time really resonated with me. i'm gonna start doing exactly what you said- repeating "make time" to myself until it sticks. rowena, your videos are always so helpful as someone who struggles with mental health issues. you're so genuine, honest and non-judgmental and listening to your advice has honestly done more for me than anything my therapist has ever said. it's late and i had a rough day, so i'm going to write in my journal and then sleep, but tomorrow i'm going to start following this advice. i'll keep you updated. and thank you so much ♡ edit: ty to everyone liking and commenting, i'm doing very bad rn and kinda forgot about this but i'm gonna try again
I realized I was waiting to have fun until my children arrived - 26 years into our marriage we finally adopted. Our child has been with us 3 years and it never occurs to her to wait to have fun. We encourage her to enjoy daily activities, be grateful for what she has (love, health), and live a conscience life. She is going to be 13 next month so I am enjoying this extra time with her.
honestly there's not a lot of content that ages well from early 2020 into the pandemic, but this is even more important now. Not sure who you were on the phone with but honestly calling a relative for help with the food they make is just one of the most meaningful things ... I teared up a little, this was beautiful.
@@PKdance23 i have been through thus phase recently, a little alone time with your thoughts and mindfulness may help. Just take out some time and ponder over, to what do you want out of your life and then work accordingly.
Don’t let your feelings determine your actions. Let your actions determine how you feel. Great channel, I’m so absorbed in “Self-help”TH-cam that I’m surprised I haven’t come across you before.
Some hours ago I literally realized my habits were NOT leading me to my goals, I wrote down my new morning routine that I want to do, because I’m used to not having a routine at all. Snuggled up on my mom’s couch that I’ve been sleeping on for almost a year now, I came across your video, in actually crying right now lol. Thank you!
As a person with a chronic illness that screws up my goals and deadlines I use systems to feel the journey and feel progress without getting bummed out when the goals or deadlines move.
Also something I am currently dealing with. I have many negative thoughts when I’m unable to do things but am actively changing my mindset. Your comment helped with that and I send you positivity and hugs. Thanks
Dear person reading this, I know you've been working so hard to get to your goals. Sometimes you feel like quiting and giving up because it's getting too hard and you just feel like you can't do it anymore. But never give up! Because I believe you'll get those goals. And you'll be so happy and so proud of yourself and so will I. Always know that you'll make it! Because you're hardworking and very talented. ❤️
I love how she backs all of it up with a book. She has applied wisdom from that book to her own life. That doesn't mean people on TH-cam can't come up with good stuff them selves, but I think it's always better to put out knowledge that others already share with you on a very public platform like TH-cam. Also loved the way she talked with her mom on the phone XD xoxo
I love the idea of having a list of self care things and implementing what you think you need that day rather than having an intense strict routine because the pressure to keep a routine always makes me give up or quit the routine before I even get started because I’m not listening to what I and my body need in the moment
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 2 months ago about self development. Now I have 139 subs and almost 75 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
@@Sadiesaurus15 Thanks so much! I’ve been getting tons of support that keeps me going. I’d rather die full of mistakes and risks that made me grow rather than be full of regrets! This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my TH-cam channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a TH-camr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this TH-cam thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support!
@@yusahara Thanks so much! I realized that the main reason for doing this is not about the success but the inspiration I've been providing some people with my stories while helping others do the same as I shared the lessons & experiences through making videos to have a sense of meaningful purpose. Therefore, I’m planning to quit nursing to pursue youtube full time as there are lots of issues in our traditional health systems as these don’t align with my values. It’s a huge learning curve but I love helping people through making videos. Also, as part of my video creation progress, I’m switching to a better editing software and a camera so the learning curve is much higher and slows down the completion speed of my next video. I do appreciate your support and kind words! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
One of the quotes I am holding on this year is "Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most." I gotta say I am more organized this year. I learnt that habit is important to improve myself. I hope 2020 gets us closer to our dreams and achieve them. ♥️
NHMI Jesus loves you, turn away from your sins and he will give you eternal life. “For the wages of sin is death” Romans 8. Once I realized God knows what’s best for me and put my trust in Jesus. He healed me from my depression, suicidal thoughts and addictions. Living fully for Him and just Him is the key to live out what you were made for.
You know setting a system really really does a thing for me, i used to have a list of goals, only goals. No system on how to achieve it, but now i have a system on my goal, my time management planning and everything. It does crazy thing, i become so consistent on my goal, like woaaah.
The last 2 months, I had this though too. When everyone talked about resolution/goals for the new year. I just want to have a system to continue what I'm working on.
Yeah goals never worked for me cause if it was too large it was a daunting task and too small felt worthless when accomplished and id just give up or if i met the goal i had no idea on where to go from there
I love how I’ve been doing this unconsciously! Trying to achieve goals & writing them down never worked for me . So now I just go with the flow of the day , but still focusing on what I want to accomplish! Loved this !
Writing "goals" down, especially short term, also doesn't work for me. I feel like I have achieved something by writing them down without doing anything and it makes me feel exhausted, not reaching them. However without a goal in mind, something I want to reach in mind, I feel very lost. As long as you have something to accomplish, you also have a goal. Making every single step a race, however, will just make you numb and run away all life. Keeping your house clean, for example, is not a goal, as it is never accomplished. You will always have something to clean. Doing your homework on time is not a goal, as there will be a lot more of it coming your way. So a true goal is something that can be finished.
I catch my self saying “this is the system of __” whenever i am doing the thing. Like as i am cleaning I find myself saying “this is the system of keeping my space tidy and clean,” or, “this is the system of health” when I am cooking, etc. I find that it helps me relax into being rather than constantly striving for the end of something or getting distracted.
I love that Atomic Habits and Essentialism seem to be huge inspirations for you because they both were also game-changers for me last year, so much so that I am re-reading them again.
The part where you said "make time for what is most essential", and then calling your mom and asking her for a recipe. That is very relatable. Coming from a Chinese household as well and living abroad, a phone call with family means a lot (even though the conversations usually would be about something other than ourselves, because casually talking about feelings with an asian mom doesn't exist haha) and thank you for all that you share, I am interested in both books you mentioned :) sending love to you
And I loved how her mom threw in the little admonition asking her if she was continuing with her goals and how she was doing and reminding her that it was almost the end of the month! Loved it. That was great.
Another way I like to think of "identifying what is essential" is "what are my values?" To do this, I asked myself questions in a journal to contemplate what I like and don't like. You guys can use anything; music, movies, books, hobbies, activities, etc. Ask what you like from each category and WHY you like them. How do they make you feel? Ask yourself what values they most reflect. When you get clear about the things and values that make you happy, you get clear about who you are. The best part is that its easier to do things once you've identified your values / what is essential to you because doing things stops being a chore or goal to be better, and more about supporting and honoring who you already are.
I am on the "disengage" steps right now. Deleted different social medias from my phone and the accounts altogether. It helped with diminishing the noise in my head. I am slowly starting to re-engage with what are my priorities. An entire process
lamedemots hmmm, I think I should try this too. Right now I’m only focusing on becoming a great copywriter at my job and as a freelancer. As much as I want to build communities and also help people grow as I grow, the most important thing is to actually grow and the noise will not aid this. I’ll consider this, really.
This is the first time I’m hearing and understanding systems and this video did justice to it. Thank you Rowena. Myself, I’m already tired of setting goals because it seems like the goals do not go past the excitement period for me, once I lose excitement, that’s it. I’d learn to implement systems, especially into the life I’m looking out for for myself and I’m sure this will work. Thank you! Cheers from Nigeria. P.S, this is my first time engaging with a TH-cam video🤗🤗🤗
I’ve been doing the exact same thing for the last 5 months & it’s been so helpful! I actually enjoy my life so much more now, living in the real world lol & figuring out my path
@@alexp.6807 Yes exactly! Living in the real world! I studied communication so I have to know what is going on regarding social medias but it is just overwhelming
I love the video and the idea, but on the other hand while watching it I've been thinking: so a system is just another word for a habit and the talk about the importance of habits over goals is quite familiar; and also "a time for myself" while browsing social media is not - in my view at least - not a time for myself at all. You probably all know this book "Deep work", and that how our phones are basically machines created for stealing our focus and attention, so while talking about having a focus and enjoying the time for oneself, while being constantly in front of a screen (while cooking, eating, etc)... I don't know - was a bit ironic for me and made me a bit sceptical. Meaning: can you really develop a productive system/habit while being constantly distracted by your phone? I'm not sure, but I guess being behind our phones and screens have become more and more of a norm and this seems to incorporate habits into it... - I'm not sure about it. But, yes, I get it and I nevertheless love the idea and I really don't want to be critical. I myself am spending quite a lot fime "offline", don't have the internet turned on my phone (unless I specifically want to check something) and it seems to me that people don't notice that they're actually rather consistently distracted and not on their own probably most of the time; therefore I love the comments about being disengaged from social media! :)
I love how the internet is so timeless and infinite. Something made years ago can resonate and inspire forever in the all present now. I am grateful for that. It's amazing.
The first time I heard about systems is from Scott Adams book: How to fail at everything and still win big. This was my favorite part of the book. Systems make a lot more sense than goals.
Without a goal there is no system. You don't create systems just to create random systems. Every system has a purpose/goal/destination/intention/target/desire/intended result/outcome
So it’s basically „changing the input instead of the output“, I think that’s so smart and something not a lot of ppl think about ☺️ also to start changing things it doesn’t have to be January 1st, you always can start tomorrow, next week or next month ✨
I’m so glad this came up on my recommended. I have been trying to find my “system” but was always focused/stressed on goals that felt so different from my reality. So helpful, makes things feel more feasible.
Yes yes yes! Another great quote: “Show me your habits and I’ll show you your future.” (I forget who said it😆) If we set ourselves up for success in our environment, we don’t need to worry about motivation or progress. Just consistency and self-discipline. Then our goals become a matter of course.
Tara Wagner Coaching where I come from, you don’t have a choice but to be motivated. The culture would force to be 😩. When I moved to the West, I heard a lot more people say « I don’t want to be rich » « I can’t be debt free ». Ask every single person from my country and they will tell you «I will do everything in my power to be successful » solid across different incomes.
I'm black grew up on a road isolation from neighbors but later moved to the inner city and it changed my life for better and for worse I'm more tougher mentally but I been broken but I had to build myself up coming from a broken family.. no self care.. no good eating habits etc.. it was and has been challenging but u know what when you do you and forgo all the misconceptions of life and live the way u know is best no matter where u come from if you choose to change you can period for you and not be concerned with what ppl think etc.. I love watching other races to be honest because they are the majority outside of blacks that does what's necessary for their health etc and a better happier life in this generation I cant speak on the past before my time .. I love it I fell in despair when everyone around me didnt see what I saw I fell off so u must change your environment change your mind frame even if it means cutting ppl / family off Peace love & blessings
WOW.... when you said “Making Time”, I wasn’t thinking about making time to make dinner, I caught it as “making” time. Like..... I will live longer if I eat healthy..... ergo, I’m “Making Time”. All of these things you are talking about truly are creating time; giving us more years to live. That means I have no excuses not to do what’s essential!
It's great to hear different perspectives. I like how you perceived the word 'make' like you are CREATING time to do the things you want to do. I always say "I am allowing time" - it gives me the feeling of it being a choice more than a chore or something I have to do, but now I also see the word 'make' like you do too. :)
You're the first person I've ever come across that even knows about Essentialism and Falon. Do not doubt there are people like me with MAD RESPECT for you! You're super rare! Know you are a Treasure!
"You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems." This explains everything!! This video gave me such a new perspective; the reason I was failing even if I made sure to set goals every time, was because I had no system that helped me achieve those goals. I somehow thought that once you set a goal, you'll subconsciously work towards it or you'll get the motivation to work towards it! But that's not how things work!😂😂😂 Now I've made a system, in the form of a schedule (I kind of interpreted a system as a schedule, I hope I'm not wrong). I've given time to self-care, sleep, eating and chores and found that there is still time left to give to my studies (one of the reasons I didn't feel like I was achieving anything was because I felt like I had NO time for anything at all). Sometimes I don't follow the schedule completely but I still feel that my days have a bit more direction. I'm no longer waking up not knowing what I should do, then wasting time trying to choose what to do. I have a clear idea of what I'm going to do and at what time. I also feel that I've been more consistent with things, the only time I miss doing what I planned is because things came up. I feel like I'm in control of my days now more than before. Something that used to happen a lot before was that I binge-watched anime instead of studying (jUsT oNe mOrE ePiSoDe xD). Now, when I deliberately *give time* for anime, I finish up with that one episode and actually sit down to study when it's time to study. And when I give time to study, I end up doing my assignments much earlier than the deadline! I realize that even in primary and secondary school, I always set goals at the beginning of the term but in the end never achieved them. I fell into the bad habit of procrastinating on studying, making me read last minute. I also used to set a study timetable but never followed it, but I realize it's because I was setting it all wrong. I never gave time for self-care and rest, I never mapped out the time I had to do chores, so I always felt bad when I didn't achieve a full day of studying not realizing that so much more happens in the day other than just study. My goal now is to follow my schedule completely. It's such a good schedule which gives me time for everything so I really want to follow it xD. And if I follow my schedule completely, I'll end up achieving all my other goals! Wow, simple yet mind-blowing. I hope this works, no, I'm going to make it work! xD
Omg I'm so proud of u!! Honestly i can relate soooooo much! Barely making the deadlines and never studying... I just never made time for studying in my day. But reading about ur growth and u actually implementing these habits into ur life Made me so motivated :)) sometimes it's not the amount of knowledge that's missing, to actually take action is what we need.
@@minfires7572 "Sometimes it's not the amount of knowledge that's missing, to actually take action is what we need." Yes definitely. And also, sometimes it's not that we don't want to do better and be better, we just don't know HOW to do it. We don't think of what steps to take in order to improve. We always set goals but never plan for what's in-between us and the goals we want to achieve, we never think of how to bridge that gap. Plus I'm still really working on this system of mine. It's not perfect but it serves as a very good guide and has really helped me balance most things in my life and make progress towards my goals better than anything else ever has. I hope your progress is coming along well though!
@@lampyrisnoctiluca9904 Thank you, I hope it works out and helps you too. Although, I hold this video in very high regard, so I hope you wouldn't say something like that. If it wasn't for this video, I wouldn't have been inspired to come up with this system😂. Plus I think the idea of a system may be different for everyone. Rowena implements it differently from how I implement it and you'll do so differently too so I don't think there's a wrong way to go about it as long as it's helping you reach your goals.
English language is tricky. Saying "I'm going to make time" is saying "I haven't but I will" Saying "I am making time" is saying you are in the state of your 'goal' already and you can appreciate that you are. PS. Loved this video it helped me alot and these concepts have been on my mind but not worded as beautifully as here. Thanks!
Your video unintentionally became the highlight of my day. 💖 When you told us that your clique meets up to discuss something as transformative as new year resolutions, I knew I could take your advice anytime and any day. It isn’t commonplace for a group of friends to go over expressive and healthy things like this, and I’m utterly happy to know that there are people like this.
Love that quote from Essentialism by Greg Mckeown: "Sometimes what you don't do is just as important as what you do"... Mindfulness, silence.. things like these
I've been following you for almost 2years now and I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you so much, Rowena! Keep up with the great job! You're adulting so nicely! Best wishes ❤️🌷
i love how your videos help me whenever i feel demotivated or unsatisfied with how i'm doing in school. it never fails to inspire me do better and become a more productive potato. and if there are some days that i feel really bad with my performance in school, your videos and the wonderful messages you share, catapults me back to a more positive state and recharges me. please continue to do what you do and i'm really thankful for everything you've done 💕
"The output will always be the same because the system or input didn't change . If we are able to fix the input or system,the output will fix themselves" . Feels like I am in a control systems class. I have never thought of the things I have learnt in electricals would be analogous to habits . 😳
These are honestly the thoughts I have but i'm not as eloquent omfg, this has come at a perfect time. Being constantly happy isn't just about FINALLY DOING IT, it's about fixing it so that you do it continuously. It's what I used to do when I was a kid, I knew I had to make my bed so I made it automatically every morning. When I started to copy other people and not make my bed is when everything fell out of organisation tbh.
Before even watching the video, I completely agree. Having systems are so integral to success. And when you have a system in place, and you fail, you have something you can look at and tweak, instead of beating yourself up about not meeting your goal and not knowing what to do.
I've been feeling overwhelmed and tied to my calendar since the new semester started. I think this video will really help me shift my focus away from focusing on how much I have to do. This is a lovely reminder that I can frame doing things efficiently as a way for me to make time for what matters most to me!
me too, i'm graduating in a few months and i still have so much to do, it's really stressing me out :( but focusing on that load of tasks won't help me relax either lol
I guess that school makes things like choosing myself a lot harder. I have to finish my thesis eventhough i feel stressed. I have to go everyday because otherwise i will miss important stuff. I struggle a lot to build routines because i cant combine it with all the work i have to do. Hope you can figure out a way to shift your focus!
Danique I can definitely relate to that. Everything keeps piling up but hopefully with some minor changes I can approach it at least from a better mental state. Wishing you all the best in your thesis journey :)
I so appreciate these videos years later. They first gave me comfort and direction after sobering up in 2018, and I’ve been feeling like I need a refresh and redirect again. Thank you for posting. 💚
I noticed that watching too much videos made me so passive .. so, a thing that could help is taking notes. While watching a video there comes a rush of ideas, goals and motivations and they won't last for too long as you'll probably just scroll down to a next video and forget all about them. So taking notes whilst watching a video will make you more accountable to your ideas. And of course you should come back to those notes later and check them so you can remember that state pf motivation and energy you were in.
@@JudyAbbott494 exactly, also watching this kind of videos is what they called productive entertainment since you'll be learning a thing or two every time and not just like mindlessly procrastinating watching netflix
When you were sitting at home in front of your laptop eating and said "I want to be doing a lot more of this in 2020" I laughed to myself because boy, didn't we all get that wish granted.
So, I’ve actually decided to de clutter my life by letting go of my social media habits/accounts and was looking or rather, thinking of ways to continue and further the de cluterr-rization .... then *bam* The TH-cam algorithm hit me hard with recommending your video ... I watched without really knowing what I was going to watch and hear. I quickly subscribed and wrote down all the books you mentioned. I needed to hear all of the things said in your video. Thank you for posting. Im a 37yr old adult but the part where you call your mum made me tear up, idk why... i talk to my mum everyday. It was just a nice moment. 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
This year my biggest goal is to implement habits ie systems. I realised that I wasn't making as much progress as I wanted to because I lack basic systems in a lot of ways
This past year and a half since the pandemic started have been really difficult. I’ve lost many loved ones (conditions other than Covid) and the isolation it put me in was unbearable. I am just now trying to pick the pieces back up and build something ever stronger. I feel so grateful to be alive, to have another chance, many chances at that. For so long I wondered why nothing I tried so hard to cultivate never stuck. But it was because I was too hyper focused on the result and never realized that the growth is in the journey. I chose myself. I chose action. I chose the essential.
I’m so thankful that I came across this video. Last month, I was wondering why I didn’t have or didn’t feel the need to set new years goals like I used to or thought I should do. I think unconsciously, this is why: I was craving a system that would make my daily life happier while operating within it as opposed to pinpointing things, events or milestones to fuel me until I achieved them. Achieving something is always temporary, though important. I think what I’ve been craving has been an overhaul of my personal habits. Thank you for putting into words something I wanted but couldn’t identify!
4:29 this is exactly why I started watching this type of content. I started feeling stuck in my ways. Glad too see we are all on a journey of self improvement. Subscribed.
Being an Italian born Chinese I find that is wonderful how speaking with her mother she just mixes up English and Chinese, that's the same thing I do with my parents when we speak, just mixin Italian intead of English of course :D
Hands down one of the best videos of the year "Y'all". Seriously the way you capture the essence of 2 wonderful books (Atomic Habits and Essentialism) here really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your insight. Of course all the personal practical exemples is inspiring. Keep it up!!!
3:30 Over the years I found myself fixated over building good habits for the sake of building good habits to the point where I don't even remember why I'm buidling them in the first place. Is it to be more productive? So that I can squeeze in as much work in the day as I humanly can skipping meals, sleeping late and neglecting my health? Or is it so that I can work smarter when I need to, so that I can make time to fully unplug an recharge when the time comes?" I just HAD to write this down, it spoke to me!!! Thank you so much
I love this idea. I think that goals are simply supposed to be indicators of your performance, not that you already "made it." If you set a system the right way, it will hit every single indicator (goal) continually.
I absolutely LOVE this video! I have spent the morning looking through several different TH-cam videos for relatable tips to help me improve my habits as someone with inattentive ADD. You made me feel like crying tears of happiness when you mention the “Repertoire of positive self-care.” While I’ve built numerous little habits for myself as to self care & just trying to improve myself overall; with things like gratitude & LOA journaling, reading PD books, listening to positive music & people etc., I find that I give myself a hard time because I don’t do ALL those things consistently… I LOVE that you go over focusing on the journey rather than hard goals bc those “big/hard” goals have always been where I sort of freeze and move onto creating/practicing smaller habits. I thought this process was something I’ve been doing “wrong” and it gives me so much comfort hearing all these tips and that another person is out there, like me, succeeding by focusing more on the smaller habits. Not only that, but you just happen to also have my favorite flowers in your video 🌸😍 thank you for sharing! 💕
Systems vs goals is such a helpful concept. I feel like I've been trying to put that into practice already, but hearing you put it into words makes me feel like I have a language to go about it more intentionally now. Thank you for sharing!
I love that you and your friends made time to come together and discuss your resolutions and to keep one another accountable (#true friendship). I love the saying, “show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Great video!
@@ND1966p Theoretically, it can, when the droplet in which the virus leaves a person becomes so small (as the liquid vaporizes) that it doesn't fall to ground, but keeps being carried by the wind. But for this to happen it would need to be floating in the air for long enough, which is of very low probability. Some upward air current or a very fast blow of wind potentially /could/ keep it off a surface for the necessary time, but that probably happens, in my unprofessional opinion, very occasionally. Edit: *But*, if you are wearing a mask, not only you reduce the risk of your spreading the virus this way, you also (in one way) protect yourself from catching it (from such floating particles - no matter the size of their droplet)!
@M e Source? (I don't think it is the doctors who confirm it, they must be someone like epidemiologists and/or physicists...) Of course it depends on the mask; if there is a non-woven layer that is sufficiently impenetrable, it can also protect you from the virus (provided that you wear and manipulate with it correctly). But these are meant for healthcare and other first-line workers, who come in contact with *many* infected people every day and thus need to be protected far more than the rest of general public. For us, masks made only of woven fabric, that you can make yourself and reuse, are pretty much sufficient, although they primarily protect others from you infecting them, not the other way round (which they, to certain extent, can).
@M e I asked for the source only because your (first) statement sounded a bit over-generalised - to all masks, including the (medical) ones that also protect you from others. (Sry about making fuss around it.) My point just is that although some masks protect you less efficiently than other masks, they are still better than nothing. They are meant to *slow down* the spread, not to prevent anyone form getting sick - that they cannot do (not even the medical masks). But even if they save just one person from falling ill (which they no doubt can, when used properly), they are definitely worth wearing, even through that small amount of our discomfort.
Always come here to have my life changed...never once have I left disappointed ❤ thank you for using your newfound knowledge that you've acquired on your journey to spark that light in others to start/continue on theirs! Wishing you all the best through your year...
Sis I do not know how I came upon this, but this is so relevant in my life right now... I will be listening to this everyday for a while because it spoke to me... 💖
your videos are literallyy so positive and calming to me. even though i'm not the best at being balanced, your videos make me so so happy. i just recently found your youtube channel and i. am. obsessed. you are so underrated and deserve much more recognition because you help so many people out, like me. also, your voice is asmr to my ears, it's so calming and soothing and ily
This. Is how you do a sponsored video. Great job. I tend to click off when people introduce the product in the beginning. Especially if I have never watched any of their videos before. Folding it into your content just feels more genuine, especially when your content is so helpful. I am intrigued by the product, largely because I didn’t get the feeling your goal is to sell me something. The sales pitch doesn’t feel like a sales pitch. It’s more like, “And here’s something that has helped me.” I love the part with your mom towards the end. 💖 Also, I want to read Aromic Habits now!
I wish I had a set of friends like yours, where we can just freely discuss goals, share best practices and systems and keep ourselves accountable. It would be nice to have that support system in life.
April Czareen where are you?? Seek out the good people around you! You have them but maybe too shy to ask them or involve them into your life??
@ April Czareen Please just go out and find yours! They are always looking for you, too!
There are no good people where I live, even if I set the bar low. This whole town is cursed.
Alaska Woods sad to hear that... but if you are good then there must be others there that you haven’t met or discovered who may surprise you. Try to meet and talk more to new people. I hope you find someone ... I’m sure you will.
My advice is to be who you want to attract and be with people like whom you want to be. For example, for me, I want to be a better Catholic so I work on myself and go to lots of Catholic events in which everyone gathers from all over my city or my area of the city and those people usually have the same goals as I do and we connect and that's how I make friends (:
I remember when I first watched this video while I was addicted to drugs. Now I'm sober, and more excited about life than I've ever been- I'm ready to begin a new system. :)
You’ve got this!
❤️
proud of you!!!
Well done Ariella. Keep moving forward one day at a time.
and I’m here to get productive ; proud to know I’m not the only one ! I got this !
1. Identify what is essential
2. Choose to invest in yourself
3. Spend time on what is essential
Thank you for this.
Not all heroes wear capes. Though for all I know, maybe you do, in fact, wear one. Either way, bless you 🙏
1. Nothing.
2. Nothing to invest
3. ???
Saved me 13 min
I like to procrastinate by watching productivity videos
Anything in particular you're procrastinating on?
@@CassieWinter yeah I have a physiology test tomorrow and I have to study. But it's okay, I have the whole night to study, it will be alright
@@isabelalazzarotto7397 Good luck with your test tomorrow!
@@CassieWinter thanks hun
LOL, yup :-)
_"this month's choices are next month's results"_
imma take it a step further: "this life's choice are eternity's results"
Gabriela Sanchez damn
That's why we got to chose God ( YWH) while we are still breathing
Love it. 🙏🙏
Love this. Need to go write it down
Narrator: Little did she know 2020 would give her ALL OF THE TIME SHE COULD EVER WANT.
laughed out loud at this
i was thinking this the whole time i watched it hahahah
You took the words out of my mouth!
😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♂️
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don’t know why, but this made me feel better and gave me hope.
Me too 😊
Same
Jesus loves you, turn away from your sins and he will give you eternal life. “For the wages of sin is death” Romans 8. Once I realized God knows what’s best for me and put my trust in Jesus. He healed me from my depression, suicidal thoughts and addictions. Living fully for Him and just Him is the key to live out what you were made for.
AP6 🙏 Amen
Same
First time to Rowena's channel: “Hello sweetest potatoes”
Me: Ooo...kay. I'll take that
EMBRACE THE POTATE LIFE 😜💕
LMAOO 😂😂
Omg! I didnt even catch that! My parents used to call me sweet potato in our language lol smh But yea...the title of this video really caught my eye. This video is so insightful.
@@rowena She did say, "okay, buh-bye" @ 11:34
LOL I thought she said “Swedish potatoes” and I was wondering how Swedes fixed potatoes!
I just read Atomic Habits. The thing that stood out for me the most, and has been an absolute game changer with habit-setting is focusing on the new identity rather than the behavior. I like that Rowena is focusing on systems over goals. I always achieve goals, and then take a vacation for some reason. Implementing systems feels more long term.
I just watched a video on it too. I need that book; the video was amazing.
@@Hans_Magnusson nailed it!
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Good Old Louise Hay in her self help books advised sort of the same. Interesting indeed
@dogwalkinginc6371 what do u mean "focus on the new identity rather than the behavior"?????
My 52 year old self is drinking from this beautiful well of wisdom and embracing the power of choice. I receive this blessing with utmost gratitude.
itsmissvsworld I appreciate this comment so much because it shows how people can learn long past the years when we’re called “prime”. Learning is a lifelong journey, and this is reinvigorating to see.
Seems like something a fat old person would say.
@@tubbysza we don't want this negativity on Rowena's channel. If you don't want to improve and be a better person, don't come to this channel, because that is what Rowena is all about. Please kindly, fuck off.
Or...Maybe at 52 years old you'd have enough wisdom and life experience that you don't need some cheesy self-help millennial whining about doing what you mastered 25 years ago. You should be writing this book, not reading it. Jezzzz.
@@k.r4748 yo I'm sry... I just got released from the slums of an insane asylum. Still you all got trolled! 😂
Just heard a quote earlier that said “focus on the process, not the outcome”. Then came across this video. The universe is tryna tell me something 😩
Na girl that's ur FBI agent trying to tell you something.
challange accepted lollll
Me too
@3,450,493 views okay :)
Definitely Jesus 🤍 not the universe. Check out new age testimonies. God bless you 💕
One thing I really like about this is that it is basically implying to live in the present moment and not stress about your future. Living in the present you are more mindful of what you are doing and less prone to aggravate yourself in the long run when you notice you aren’t to your end goal yet. Enjoy the journey!
Exactly, thanks for expressing this.
It took me a long time to recognize that my goal-oriented mindset was a huge source of unhappiness. I'd always tell myself that I'd be happy once I reached my goal and then, once I got there, it felt so empty and I'd be depressed.
Systems is a good word for "the process" or "the journey". Never looked at it in that way but it's something that I'm still learning to appreciate more.
yes sometimes is to much focus on the goal is only running away from reality. so you miss out important things
Same!!! When I finished my master's degree I fell into a deep depression because I felt like my life was over and there wasn't anything else to do. I had focused so hard on the degree for so long that I forgot to step back and look at other things.
WOE-oeh!
Wow. I can so relate to this comment.
I can absolutely relate.
Sometimes youtube recommends the most random video, sometimes it recommends what you need. Subscribed!
ahh welcome to the fam! ☺️💕
I totally agree with what you typed here. This is exactly what I need at the moment
Yep. Same here.
Agreed! It's amazing how the random right video pops up at the most amazing right time. Thanks
Yes, yes, YES! Don't you just relish how the Universe never fails?
Anybody else see a group of people enjoying themselves, talking with each other, and just wish you knew people who you could do that with? Like how nice would it be to have friends that you can go out with?
You need both. And one comes before the other.
1. WHAT (destination or intent)
2. WHY (emotional motivation and drive)
3. HOW (your system or plan)
Without a goal first there is no system. You don't create systems just to create random systems. Every system has a purpose/goal/destination/intention/target/desire/intended result/outcome.
Your desired intent or goal comes first.
Then, determine *why* you want that.
Only after those first two are written down do we create a plan, system, map, task list, action list, to-do list, set of habits, check list and so on.
Now, should you focus on the result, outcome, intent, or goal? *No.* Your desired intent or destination serves as a compass to reorient you on your journey. That is its main function. Refer to it as such.
Should you focus entirely on the process or system? *No.* The system or process can change. In fact, it *must* change. Use this as a flexible map of options to get you to your destination. If you become hyperfocused on your system, or specific way of doing things (with exceptions, of course, for safety checklists, etc.), then we have a word for that myopic, inflexible focus: bureaucracy.
Focus on your *why.* The reasons why you *want* to pursue this thing. Use your destination to orient you like a compass, use your system or plan as a flexible map to your destination, and use your compelling, emotionally-juicy reasons *why* as your rocket fuel to get you there
TH-cam User thank you so much !!! ❤ for providing the clarity, I appreciate this a lot ❤
This was actually really helpful! Thanks for sharing
Thank you
Not bashing but I was really confused and distracted about the whole system point because of her doing stuff along all the video cause everything is so pretty hahahahah so your comment gave me the real clarity I needed. Thanks for taking the time to put this here!
Thank you so much for taking the time to enlighten us ❤❤ have a great day/evening!!
LET'S BE AN ESSENTIALIST THIS YEAR!!!
So surprised and happy to see you and Neil in this video 🤗
Good to see ya in the video!
YOU MAKE IT SOUND AS IF IT IS A FASHION TREND AND NOT A MINDSET AND A PHILOSOPHY 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
@Your negativity isn't helping anyone
@ no one asked you to be negative
Two key things gotten from this video, " True long term thinking is goalless thinking" and " You don't rise to your goals, you fall to the level of your systems." Alot of gem 💎 spoken. Thanks
I'm not exaggerating when I say that my whole perspective of life has changed after this video. I wasn't aware that I didn't have a system at all and that this partially made it so hard to achieve my goals.
That’s so awesome!
alohaarianna ggghhhghhh
Now you know my friend! We can depend on systems, not people. Awesome job for recognizing that! :)
me too! :)
+1, also is it weird that it makes me emotional everytime I watch this video...
in Sep 2020, it’s bittersweet watching friends catching up in a cafe and making plans for 2020.
Don't put your life on hold for a virus.
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 if you aren’t careful though, the virus will put your life on hold *for* you. in some cases, it can even take your life from you
@@moonflowr Yes, but that is no different from how life was before. All viruses cause upset and can kill. We have accepted this before and still gone on with our lives, because we cannot predict or control the behaviour of viruses beyond a certain point.
@@Musicienne-DAB1995 🙏🏼✨
1) Input > Output
2) Clarity of purpose (what's important for you?)
a. Nourish yourself with good food
b. gratitude
c. go outside
d. using our gift to our fullest potential
3) choose to invest in yourself
- make an active decision, don't let anyone make a decision for you (or be powerless by not using your power)
^my own notes
that's helpful^^ thanks a lot!
as someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, and anorexia for 8 years, nearly half my life, this is what i needed. i constantly find myself getting stuck, and my solution was always to set goals. i made long lists of goals without thinking of how to accomplish them, then lost motivation immediately. i never thought to create systems. i also really struggle to care for myself, i eat only a few things a day and sleep too much, so what you said about nourishing yourself and making time really resonated with me. i'm gonna start doing exactly what you said- repeating "make time" to myself until it sticks. rowena, your videos are always so helpful as someone who struggles with mental health issues. you're so genuine, honest and non-judgmental and listening to your advice has honestly done more for me than anything my therapist has ever said. it's late and i had a rough day, so i'm going to write in my journal and then sleep, but tomorrow i'm going to start following this advice. i'll keep you updated. and thank you so much ♡
edit: ty to everyone liking and commenting, i'm doing very bad rn and kinda forgot about this but i'm gonna try again
Hi Vall, How are you? Do you feel better? Hope so honey, god bless you and give you all the ☮️ you need.
❤️
Lots of love to you, hang in there!
ellieellie.oxenfree yeah !! ❤ 👽✌ do it !
hope you're doing well, wishing you the best
I realized I was waiting to have fun until my children arrived - 26 years into our marriage we finally adopted. Our child has been with us 3 years and it never occurs to her to wait to have fun. We encourage her to enjoy daily activities, be grateful for what she has (love, health), and live a conscience life. She is going to be 13 next month so I am enjoying this extra time with her.
Jennifer Rumsey that’s beautiful :)
That’s so sweet
Congratulations on your marriage and your adoption.
honestly there's not a lot of content that ages well from early 2020 into the pandemic, but this is even more important now.
Not sure who you were on the phone with but honestly calling a relative for help with the food they make is just one of the most meaningful things ... I teared up a little, this was beautiful.
9:25 - How to create a system (for the impatient)
Thanks!
thanks lol
Thanks man
Thank you 😂
😂😂😂😂😂
"Sometimes what you don't do, is just as important as what you do" SO FREAKING TRUE.
@ether stars,
ABSOLUTELY! 🙏😇🌱🌿🐝🌎✨💫🌠🙌🙌🙌😺
What do you do when you don't know what it is that you're not doing ?
@@PKdance23 i have been through thus phase recently, a little alone time with your thoughts and mindfulness may help. Just take out some time and ponder over, to what do you want out of your life and then work accordingly.
Don’t let your feelings determine your actions. Let your actions determine how you feel.
Great channel, I’m so absorbed in “Self-help”TH-cam that I’m surprised I haven’t come across you before.
Some hours ago I literally realized my habits were NOT leading me to my goals, I wrote down my new morning routine that I want to do, because I’m used to not having a routine at all. Snuggled up on my mom’s couch that I’ve been sleeping on for almost a year now, I came across your video, in actually crying right now lol. Thank you!
mary morrison you got this!
Remember that it's all temporary but necessary to push you towards the direction you need to go in. You can and will do it 🙏🏽👏🏽
Thanks to everyone that responded, since posting my original comment I got a new job at a Wells Fargo, I also got a higher pay
@@yernmoma5 that's awesome!
As a person with a chronic illness that screws up my goals and deadlines I use systems to feel the journey and feel progress without getting bummed out when the goals or deadlines move.
Please tell us more 🖤
i can't be close friends with anyone who doesn't have a chronic illness. this is part of why
Also something I am currently dealing with. I have many negative thoughts when I’m unable to do things but am actively changing my mindset. Your comment helped with that and I send you positivity and hugs. Thanks
Same!! You’re not alone.
+
Dear person reading this, I know you've been working so hard to get to your goals. Sometimes you feel like quiting and giving up because it's getting too hard and you just feel like you can't do it anymore. But never give up! Because I believe you'll get those goals. And you'll be so happy and so proud of yourself and so will I. Always know that you'll make it! Because you're hardworking and very talented. ❤️
💚
Thank you 💖 I needed to hear this, Wishing you love and light 💫🦋xx
thank you for saying this🥺
Awww this almost made me cry ..gracias ♡
Thank you
I love how she backs all of it up with a book. She has applied wisdom from that book to her own life. That doesn't mean people on TH-cam can't come up with good stuff them selves, but I think it's always better to put out knowledge that others already share with you on a very public platform like TH-cam.
Also loved the way she talked with her mom on the phone XD xoxo
I love the idea of having a list of self care things and implementing what you think you need that day rather than having an intense strict routine because the pressure to keep a routine always makes me give up or quit the routine before I even get started because I’m not listening to what I and my body need in the moment
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 2 months ago about self development. Now I have 139 subs and almost 75 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
@@Sadiesaurus15 Thanks so much! I’ve been getting tons of support that keeps me going. I’d rather die full of mistakes and risks that made me grow rather than be full of regrets!
This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my TH-cam channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a TH-camr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this TH-cam thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support!
@@nathananderson8720 Anytime! ❤❤❤
That's such good progress omg!!! Keep going you can do it!
@@yusahara Thanks so much!
I realized that the main reason for doing this is not about the success but the inspiration I've been providing some people with my stories while helping others do the same as I shared the lessons & experiences through making videos to have a sense of meaningful purpose. Therefore, I’m planning to quit nursing to pursue youtube full time as there are lots of issues in our traditional health systems as these don’t align with my values. It’s a huge learning curve but I love helping people through making videos.
Also, as part of my video creation progress, I’m switching to a better editing software and a camera so the learning curve is much higher and slows down the completion speed of my next video. I do appreciate your support and kind words! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
Your mum checking in if you follow throught with your goals: "It's almost February!" I laughed so much !
😂😂 LOL she is the best
hahah i felt personally attacked!! she is right, it is almost february! hahah
One of the quotes I am holding on this year is "Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most." I gotta say I am more organized this year. I learnt that habit is important to improve myself. I hope 2020 gets us closer to our dreams and achieve them. ♥️
@NHMI,
They most certainly are, because more and more persons are creating them! Blessings of Love and Light to you and yours! 🙏😇🌱🌿🐝🌎✨💫🌠🙌🙌🙌😺
NHMI
Jesus loves you, turn away from your sins and he will give you eternal life. “For the wages of sin is death” Romans 8. Once I realized God knows what’s best for me and put my trust in Jesus. He healed me from my depression, suicidal thoughts and addictions. Living fully for Him and just Him is the key to live out what you were made for.
For me its : Discipline is empathy with ur future self
Who knew 2020 was going to be like this!!!
You know setting a system really really does a thing for me, i used to have a list of goals, only goals. No system on how to achieve it, but now i have a system on my goal, my time management planning and everything. It does crazy thing, i become so consistent on my goal, like woaaah.
The last 2 months, I had this though too. When everyone talked about resolution/goals for the new year. I just want to have a system to continue what I'm working on.
Exactly!
I feel so aligned to this! Like you read my mind
Essentialism: not how to get things done but how to get the right things done.
Wow that's deep! 😁
creating a system of habits is such a better way to approach life than setting crazy goals
Yeah goals never worked for me cause if it was too large it was a daunting task and too small felt worthless when accomplished and id just give up or if i met the goal i had no idea on where to go from there
Totally agree👌👌
@@zamiaramirez1390this!!!!!
I love how I’ve been doing this unconsciously! Trying to achieve goals & writing them down never worked for me . So now I just go with the flow of the day , but still focusing on what I want to accomplish! Loved this !
Same
YES.
Same here
Writing "goals" down, especially short term, also doesn't work for me. I feel like I have achieved something by writing them down without doing anything and it makes me feel exhausted, not reaching them.
However without a goal in mind, something I want to reach in mind, I feel very lost. As long as you have something to accomplish, you also have a goal. Making every single step a race, however, will just make you numb and run away all life. Keeping your house clean, for example, is not a goal, as it is never accomplished. You will always have something to clean. Doing your homework on time is not a goal, as there will be a lot more of it coming your way. So a true goal is something that can be finished.
This was important to point out, thank you for sharing this. I think it hasn't worked for me ither.
I catch my self saying “this is the system of __” whenever i am doing the thing. Like as i am cleaning I find myself saying “this is the system of keeping my space tidy and clean,” or, “this is the system of health” when I am cooking, etc. I find that it helps me relax into being rather than constantly striving for the end of something or getting distracted.
That's a great idea! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go participate in the system of completing my board exams
I love this
@@monkiram this is incredibly relevant to my life 😍
Love it
That's awesome!
Conclusion : Studio Ghibli makes you a better person with a meaningful life. I freakingggg love them
True
Yup, I literally watched a Ghibli movie before I found this video XD
❤
I love that Atomic Habits and Essentialism seem to be huge inspirations for you because they both were also game-changers for me last year, so much so that I am re-reading them again.
The part where you said "make time for what is most essential", and then calling your mom and asking her for a recipe. That is very relatable. Coming from a Chinese household as well and living abroad, a phone call with family means a lot (even though the conversations usually would be about something other than ourselves, because casually talking about feelings with an asian mom doesn't exist haha) and thank you for all that you share, I am interested in both books you mentioned :) sending love to you
And I loved how her mom threw in the little admonition asking her if she was continuing with her goals and how she was doing and reminding her that it was almost the end of the month! Loved it. That was great.
Haha I loved it. I used to wonder why me and my mom never talked about feelings. So relieved to hear it's so common among us asians haha
Recently I've noticed how asians are a lot like latinos.
Right. My BFF is Asian...the “she doesn’t say goodbye” comment got me. I guess you get used to it?? Or...maybe not and it stings. 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
"Casually talking about feelings with an Asian mom doesn't exist"
As an African, I couldn't relate more..
Another way I like to think of "identifying what is essential" is "what are my values?" To do this, I asked myself questions in a journal to contemplate what I like and don't like. You guys can use anything; music, movies, books, hobbies, activities, etc. Ask what you like from each category and WHY you like them. How do they make you feel? Ask yourself what values they most reflect. When you get clear about the things and values that make you happy, you get clear about who you are. The best part is that its easier to do things once you've identified your values / what is essential to you because doing things stops being a chore or goal to be better, and more about supporting and honoring who you already are.
This is so helpful exactly what i needed setting goals has never worked for me and even if i achieve it through goals i don't feel satisfied
I am on the "disengage" steps right now. Deleted different social medias from my phone and the accounts altogether. It helped with diminishing the noise in my head. I am slowly starting to re-engage with what are my priorities. An entire process
lamedemots hmmm, I think I should try this too. Right now I’m only focusing on becoming a great copywriter at my job and as a freelancer. As much as I want to build communities and also help people grow as I grow, the most important thing is to actually grow and the noise will not aid this. I’ll consider this, really.
This is the first time I’m hearing and understanding systems and this video did justice to it. Thank you Rowena. Myself, I’m already tired of setting goals because it seems like the goals do not go past the excitement period for me, once I lose excitement, that’s it. I’d learn to implement systems, especially into the life I’m looking out for for myself and I’m sure this will work. Thank you! Cheers from Nigeria.
P.S, this is my first time engaging with a TH-cam video🤗🤗🤗
I’ve been doing the exact same thing for the last 5 months & it’s been so helpful! I actually enjoy my life so much more now, living in the real world lol & figuring out my path
@@alexp.6807 Yes exactly! Living in the real world! I studied communication so I have to know what is going on regarding social medias but it is just overwhelming
I love the video and the idea, but on the other hand while watching it I've been thinking: so a system is just another word for a habit and the talk about the importance of habits over goals is quite familiar; and also "a time for myself" while browsing social media is not - in my view at least - not a time for myself at all.
You probably all know this book "Deep work", and that how our phones are basically machines created for stealing our focus and attention, so while talking about having a focus and enjoying the time for oneself, while being constantly in front of a screen (while cooking, eating, etc)... I don't know - was a bit ironic for me and made me a bit sceptical. Meaning: can you really develop a productive system/habit while being constantly distracted by your phone? I'm not sure, but I guess being behind our phones and screens have become more and more of a norm and this seems to incorporate habits into it... - I'm not sure about it.
But, yes, I get it and I nevertheless love the idea and I really don't want to be critical.
I myself am spending quite a lot fime "offline", don't have the internet turned on my phone (unless I specifically want to check something) and it seems to me that people don't notice that they're actually rather consistently distracted and not on their own probably most of the time; therefore I love the comments about being disengaged from social media! :)
I love how the internet is so timeless and infinite. Something made years ago can resonate and inspire forever in the all present now. I am grateful for that. It's amazing.
The first time I heard about systems is from Scott Adams book: How to fail at everything and still win big. This was my favorite part of the book.
Systems make a lot more sense than goals.
Without a goal there is no system. You don't create systems just to create random systems. Every system has a purpose/goal/destination/intention/target/desire/intended result/outcome
Gonna read the book thanks for sharing
So it’s basically „changing the input instead of the output“, I think that’s so smart and something not a lot of ppl think about ☺️ also to start changing things it doesn’t have to be January 1st, you always can start tomorrow, next week or next month ✨
that was a point that resonated with me also!
I’m so glad this came up on my recommended. I have been trying to find my “system” but was always focused/stressed on goals that felt so different from my reality. So helpful, makes things feel more feasible.
Yes yes yes! Another great quote: “Show me your habits and I’ll show you your future.” (I forget who said it😆) If we set ourselves up for success in our environment, we don’t need to worry about motivation or progress. Just consistency and self-discipline. Then our goals become a matter of course.
Tara Wagner Coaching where I come from, you don’t have a choice but to be motivated. The culture would force to be 😩.
When I moved to the West, I heard a lot more people say « I don’t want to be rich » « I can’t be debt free ».
Ask every single person from my country and they will tell you «I will do everything in my power to be successful » solid across different incomes.
@@cinderea Where are you from?
I'm black grew up on a road isolation from neighbors but later moved to the inner city and it changed my life for better and for worse I'm more tougher mentally but I been broken but I had to build myself up coming from a broken family.. no self care.. no good eating habits etc.. it was and has been challenging but u know what when you do you and forgo all the misconceptions of life and live the way u know is best no matter where u come from if you choose to change you can period for you and not be concerned with what ppl think etc.. I love watching other races to be honest because they are the majority outside of blacks that does what's necessary for their health etc and a better happier life in this generation I cant speak on the past before my time .. I love it I fell in despair when everyone around me didnt see what I saw I fell off so u must change your environment change your mind frame even if it means cutting ppl / family off
Peace love & blessings
I love how some creators fake sleep but she really out here recording her whole nap lol
Same lol
“Sometimes what you don’t do is just as impactful as what you do”
I love how this ties into essentialism, choosing what to do and what not to do.
WOW.... when you said “Making Time”, I wasn’t thinking about making time to make dinner, I caught it as “making” time. Like..... I will live longer if I eat healthy..... ergo, I’m “Making Time”. All of these things you are talking about truly are creating time; giving us more years to live. That means I have no excuses not to do what’s essential!
It's great to hear different perspectives. I like how you perceived the word 'make' like you are CREATING time to do the things you want to do. I always say "I am allowing time" - it gives me the feeling of it being a choice more than a chore or something I have to do, but now I also see the word 'make' like you do too. :)
You're the first person I've ever come across that even knows about Essentialism and Falon. Do not doubt there are people like me with MAD RESPECT for you! You're super rare! Know you are a Treasure!
Yo what about my man, Matt D'avella?
@@arbaazkhan4887 Thanks for the name! Love this stuff!
"You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems." This explains everything!!
This video gave me such a new perspective; the reason I was failing even if I made sure to set goals every time, was because I had no system that helped me achieve those goals. I somehow thought that once you set a goal, you'll subconsciously work towards it or you'll get the motivation to work towards it! But that's not how things work!😂😂😂
Now I've made a system, in the form of a schedule (I kind of interpreted a system as a schedule, I hope I'm not wrong). I've given time to self-care, sleep, eating and chores and found that there is still time left to give to my studies (one of the reasons I didn't feel like I was achieving anything was because I felt like I had NO time for anything at all). Sometimes I don't follow the schedule completely but I still feel that my days have a bit more direction. I'm no longer waking up not knowing what I should do, then wasting time trying to choose what to do. I have a clear idea of what I'm going to do and at what time. I also feel that I've been more consistent with things, the only time I miss doing what I planned is because things came up. I feel like I'm in control of my days now more than before. Something that used to happen a lot before was that I binge-watched anime instead of studying (jUsT oNe mOrE ePiSoDe xD). Now, when I deliberately *give time* for anime, I finish up with that one episode and actually sit down to study when it's time to study. And when I give time to study, I end up doing my assignments much earlier than the deadline!
I realize that even in primary and secondary school, I always set goals at the beginning of the term but in the end never achieved them. I fell into the bad habit of procrastinating on studying, making me read last minute. I also used to set a study timetable but never followed it, but I realize it's because I was setting it all wrong. I never gave time for self-care and rest, I never mapped out the time I had to do chores, so I always felt bad when I didn't achieve a full day of studying not realizing that so much more happens in the day other than just study.
My goal now is to follow my schedule completely. It's such a good schedule which gives me time for everything so I really want to follow it xD. And if I follow my schedule completely, I'll end up achieving all my other goals! Wow, simple yet mind-blowing. I hope this works, no, I'm going to make it work! xD
Omg I'm so proud of u!! Honestly i can relate soooooo much! Barely making the deadlines and never studying... I just never made time for studying in my day. But reading about ur growth and u actually implementing these habits into ur life Made me so motivated :)) sometimes it's not the amount of knowledge that's missing, to actually take action is what we need.
wow. your comment is more educational than the video. i'll look into doing what you just did.
@@minfires7572 "Sometimes it's not the amount of knowledge that's missing, to actually take action is what we need."
Yes definitely. And also, sometimes it's not that we don't want to do better and be better, we just don't know HOW to do it. We don't think of what steps to take in order to improve. We always set goals but never plan for what's in-between us and the goals we want to achieve, we never think of how to bridge that gap.
Plus I'm still really working on this system of mine. It's not perfect but it serves as a very good guide and has really helped me balance most things in my life and make progress towards my goals better than anything else ever has.
I hope your progress is coming along well though!
@@lampyrisnoctiluca9904 Thank you, I hope it works out and helps you too.
Although, I hold this video in very high regard, so I hope you wouldn't say something like that. If it wasn't for this video, I wouldn't have been inspired to come up with this system😂.
Plus I think the idea of a system may be different for everyone. Rowena implements it differently from how I implement it and you'll do so differently too so I don't think there's a wrong way to go about it as long as it's helping you reach your goals.
@@laura79613 the video was very educational too, but your comment was golden.
the hardest thing when prioritizing health is not working out, dieting, etc.. but actually eating along, without a screen in front of you.
Trying to read and eat, rather than stare at my screen.
It's crazy, init?
English language is tricky.
Saying "I'm going to make time" is saying "I haven't but I will"
Saying "I am making time" is saying you are in the state of your 'goal' already and you can appreciate that you are.
PS. Loved this video it helped me alot and these concepts have been on my mind but not worded as beautifully as here. Thanks!
Your video unintentionally became the highlight of my day. 💖 When you told us that your clique meets up to discuss something as transformative as new year resolutions, I knew I could take your advice anytime and any day. It isn’t commonplace for a group of friends to go over expressive and healthy things like this, and I’m utterly happy to know that there are people like this.
Love that quote from Essentialism by Greg Mckeown: "Sometimes what you don't do is just as important as what you do"... Mindfulness, silence.. things like these
Ces Cheung is it in a book? Can you recommend books on essentialism? I'm looking to read up on this. Thank you.
What does it mean? I don’t really understand it
I've been following you for almost 2years now and I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you so much, Rowena! Keep up with the great job! You're adulting so nicely! Best wishes ❤️🌷
“It’s not about getting more things done, it’s about how to get the right things done” - I like that a lot, thank you for this inspiring video ❤️
This was great. I've had a similar shift, where any single day both matters immensely and does not matter at all. Nice work. :)
i love how your videos help me whenever i feel demotivated or unsatisfied with how i'm doing in school. it never fails to inspire me do better and become a more productive potato. and if there are some days that i feel really bad with my performance in school, your videos and the wonderful messages you share, catapults me back to a more positive state and recharges me. please continue to do what you do and i'm really thankful for everything you've done 💕
"Being present for my friends. Taking care of my friends in the manner they would like"
Wow, I really like this. This is awesome.
"The output will always be the same because the system or input didn't change . If we are able to fix the input or system,the output will fix themselves" . Feels like I am in a control systems class. I have never thought of the things I have learnt in electricals would be analogous to habits . 😳
Exactly
These are honestly the thoughts I have but i'm not as eloquent omfg, this has come at a perfect time. Being constantly happy isn't just about FINALLY DOING IT, it's about fixing it so that you do it continuously. It's what I used to do when I was a kid, I knew I had to make my bed so I made it automatically every morning. When I started to copy other people and not make my bed is when everything fell out of organisation tbh.
Before even watching the video, I completely agree. Having systems are so integral to success. And when you have a system in place, and you fail, you have something you can look at and tweak, instead of beating yourself up about not meeting your goal and not knowing what to do.
I've been feeling overwhelmed and tied to my calendar since the new semester started. I think this video will really help me shift my focus away from focusing on how much I have to do. This is a lovely reminder that I can frame doing things efficiently as a way for me to make time for what matters most to me!
me too, i'm graduating in a few months and i still have so much to do, it's really stressing me out :( but focusing on that load of tasks won't help me relax either lol
I guess that school makes things like choosing myself a lot harder. I have to finish my thesis eventhough i feel stressed. I have to go everyday because otherwise i will miss important stuff. I struggle a lot to build routines because i cant combine it with all the work i have to do. Hope you can figure out a way to shift your focus!
Danique I can definitely relate to that. Everything keeps piling up but hopefully with some minor changes I can approach it at least from a better mental state. Wishing you all the best in your thesis journey :)
I so appreciate these videos years later. They first gave me comfort and direction after sobering up in 2018, and I’ve been feeling like I need a refresh and redirect again. Thank you for posting. 💚
me: *watching a productivity video as i procrastinate my ap lit homework for a 3rd week in a row*
How did you fare with your homework
that is so true it’s sad.. i’m procrastinating my whole life
@@Shei_82 Yeah, it hurts seeing yourself self-sabotage over and over.
I noticed that watching too much videos made me so passive .. so, a thing that could help is taking notes. While watching a video there comes a rush of ideas, goals and motivations and they won't last for too long as you'll probably just scroll down to a next video and forget all about them. So taking notes whilst watching a video will make you more accountable to your ideas.
And of course you should come back to those notes later and check them so you can remember that state pf motivation and energy you were in.
@@JudyAbbott494 exactly, also watching this kind of videos is what they called productive entertainment since you'll be learning a thing or two every time and not just like mindlessly procrastinating watching netflix
"You don't rise to the level of your goals, You fall to the level of your systems".
When you were sitting at home in front of your laptop eating and said "I want to be doing a lot more of this in 2020" I laughed to myself because boy, didn't we all get that wish granted.
So, I’ve actually decided to de clutter my life by letting go of my social media habits/accounts and was looking or rather, thinking of ways to continue and further the de cluterr-rization .... then *bam* The TH-cam algorithm hit me hard with recommending your video ... I watched without really knowing what I was going to watch and hear. I quickly subscribed and wrote down all the books you mentioned.
I needed to hear all of the things said in your video.
Thank you for posting.
Im a 37yr old adult but the part where you call your mum made me tear up, idk why... i talk to my mum everyday. It was just a nice moment.
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
This year my biggest goal is to implement habits ie systems. I realised that I wasn't making as much progress as I wanted to because I lack basic systems in a lot of ways
This past year and a half since the pandemic started have been really difficult. I’ve lost many loved ones (conditions other than Covid) and the isolation it put me in was unbearable. I am just now trying to pick the pieces back up and build something ever stronger. I feel so grateful to be alive, to have another chance, many chances at that. For so long I wondered why nothing I tried so hard to cultivate never stuck. But it was because I was too hyper focused on the result and never realized that the growth is in the journey. I chose myself. I chose action. I chose the essential.
Happy for you 😭❣️
I’m so thankful that I came across this video. Last month, I was wondering why I didn’t have or didn’t feel the need to set new years goals like I used to or thought I should do. I think unconsciously, this is why: I was craving a system that would make my daily life happier while operating within it as opposed to pinpointing things, events or milestones to fuel me until I achieved them. Achieving something is always temporary, though important. I think what I’ve been craving has been an overhaul of my personal habits. Thank you for putting into words something I wanted but couldn’t identify!
4:29 this is exactly why I started watching this type of content. I started feeling stuck in my ways. Glad too see we are all on a journey of self improvement. Subscribed.
I like the quote “ life is a journey, not a destination “ . I found this video to be helpful and calming, thank you!
Being an Italian born Chinese I find that is wonderful how speaking with her mother she just mixes up English and Chinese, that's the same thing I do with my parents when we speak, just mixin Italian intead of English of course :D
Noi facciamo lo stesso qui in Australia. Siamo Italiani nati in Sud Australia. Molto interessate!
TH-cam just recommended this to me and i had no idea that this is EXACTLY WHAT I NEED IN LIFE RIGHT NOW. subscribing promptly ♥️
Hands down one of the best videos of the year "Y'all". Seriously the way you capture the essence of 2 wonderful books (Atomic Habits and Essentialism) here really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing your insight. Of course all the personal practical exemples is inspiring. Keep it up!!!
thanks Richard!!
3:30 Over the years I found myself fixated over building good habits for the sake of building good habits to the point where I don't even remember why I'm buidling them in the first place. Is it to be more productive? So that I can squeeze in as much work in the day as I humanly can skipping meals, sleeping late and neglecting my health? Or is it so that I can work smarter when I need to, so that I can make time to fully unplug an recharge when the time comes?" I just HAD to write this down, it spoke to me!!! Thank you so much
I never understood “enjoy the journey” like i did until now
This is how i want to live
I love this idea. I think that goals are simply supposed to be indicators of your performance, not that you already "made it." If you set a system the right way, it will hit every single indicator (goal) continually.
The meeting up with the friends to tell each other their New Years resolutions so they can hold each other accountable was so sweet :(
This is my first time on your channel, you got me at “She doesn’t even say bye”! LIKE THAT IS LITERALLY MY OWN MOTHER😂😭
I absolutely LOVE this video! I have spent the morning looking through several different TH-cam videos for relatable tips to help me improve my habits as someone with inattentive ADD. You made me feel like crying tears of happiness when you mention the “Repertoire of positive self-care.” While I’ve built numerous little habits for myself as to self care & just trying to improve myself overall; with things like gratitude & LOA journaling, reading PD books, listening to positive music & people etc., I find that I give myself a hard time because I don’t do ALL those things consistently… I LOVE that you go over focusing on the journey rather than hard goals bc those “big/hard” goals have always been where I sort of freeze and move onto creating/practicing smaller habits. I thought this process was something I’ve been doing “wrong” and it gives me so much comfort hearing all these tips and that another person is out there, like me, succeeding by focusing more on the smaller habits. Not only that, but you just happen to also have my favorite flowers in your video 🌸😍 thank you for sharing! 💕
this is probably one of the most realistic and inspiring videos on this subject that I have watched yet! THANK YOU
I am enjoying the journey/ process more and more everyday, in literally everything I do. I love this!
Your name "well balanced wallet" is so cute....
Systems vs goals is such a helpful concept. I feel like I've been trying to put that into practice already, but hearing you put it into words makes me feel like I have a language to go about it more intentionally now. Thank you for sharing!
I love that you and your friends made time to come together and discuss your resolutions and to keep one another accountable (#true friendship). I love the saying, “show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Great video!
7:57 "spend more time outside"
virus: N-O.
You cannot catch a virus outside. It doesn’t float around in the air like chaff.
@@ND1966p Theoretically, it can, when the droplet in which the virus leaves a person becomes so small (as the liquid vaporizes) that it doesn't fall to ground, but keeps being carried by the wind. But for this to happen it would need to be floating in the air for long enough, which is of very low probability. Some upward air current or a very fast blow of wind potentially /could/ keep it off a surface for the necessary time, but that probably happens, in my unprofessional opinion, very occasionally.
Edit: *But*, if you are wearing a mask, not only you reduce the risk of your spreading the virus this way, you also (in one way) protect yourself from catching it (from such floating particles - no matter the size of their droplet)!
@M e Source? (I don't think it is the doctors who confirm it, they must be someone like epidemiologists and/or physicists...)
Of course it depends on the mask; if there is a non-woven layer that is sufficiently impenetrable, it can also protect you from the virus (provided that you wear and manipulate with it correctly). But these are meant for healthcare and other first-line workers, who come in contact with *many* infected people every day and thus need to be protected far more than the rest of general public. For us, masks made only of woven fabric, that you can make yourself and reuse, are pretty much sufficient, although they primarily protect others from you infecting them, not the other way round (which they, to certain extent, can).
@M e I asked for the source only because your (first) statement sounded a bit over-generalised - to all masks, including the (medical) ones that also protect you from others. (Sry about making fuss around it.)
My point just is that although some masks protect you less efficiently than other masks, they are still better than nothing. They are meant to *slow down* the spread, not to prevent anyone form getting sick - that they cannot do (not even the medical masks). But even if they save just one person from falling ill (which they no doubt can, when used properly), they are definitely worth wearing, even through that small amount of our discomfort.
Plenty of viruses exist, and we have spent time outside back then. The idea that you cannot spend time outside because of coronavirus is inane.
i watched this during quarantine and now rewatching it 2 years later, im realising how much my life has improved.
Always come here to have my life changed...never once have I left disappointed ❤ thank you for using your newfound knowledge that you've acquired on your journey to spark that light in others to start/continue on theirs! Wishing you all the best through your year...
'Karm kar fal ki chinta na kar'
Translation: Do your work without worrying about the end result.
It's a quote from Bhagavat Geeta.
Do you know where in the book it is written?
@@WayanJig full chapter on karmayoga explains this.
@@sanskrutibarot9796 ,Yeah 👍👍
Sis I do not know how I came upon this, but this is so relevant in my life right now... I will be listening to this everyday for a while because it spoke to me... 💖
your videos are literallyy so positive and calming to me. even though i'm not the best at being balanced, your videos make me so so happy. i just recently found your youtube channel and i. am. obsessed. you are so underrated and deserve much more recognition because you help so many people out, like me.
also, your voice is asmr to my ears, it's so calming and soothing and ily
This. Is how you do a sponsored video. Great job. I tend to click off when people introduce the product in the beginning. Especially if I have never watched any of their videos before. Folding it into your content just feels more genuine, especially when your content is so helpful. I am intrigued by the product, largely because I didn’t get the feeling your goal is to sell me something. The sales pitch doesn’t feel like a sales pitch. It’s more like, “And here’s something that has helped me.” I love the part with your mom towards the end. 💖 Also, I want to read Aromic Habits now!
thank you so much for your feedback Sarah 🥰