The 9 Signs of Spiritual Abuse (How to Recognize Abuse in Church)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- If you think your church or Pastor is abusing you, watch THIS! These are the signs to look for!
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Well my wife and I got asked if we want to be "Members" of our church and because we haven't given an answer, we've been mistreated and made to feel like we've done something wrong. When we are ALL members of the Body of Christ. You do not need to become "members" of any church
Man I'm sorry they've done this to you. At least you know what church you do not want to become members in. (God will show you where to go)
Exactly. We’re all members of the Body of Christ if we are born again. I get turned off by “church membership” as well. They most likely care about people filling up their seats, and not their spiritual growth or discipleship. It disturbs me when they try to use Bible verses to justify their thoughts on “membership”.
I need help! I believe I am in a VERY unhealthy environment. I feel like I see the red flags but I am constantly being gaslighted. Please help me
Hey my friend. I’m sorry to hear you are having to go through this. I’d encourage you to watch all 6 videos in the playlist as a start, just to get an overview of spiritual abuse. Afterwards please let me know what I can do to help. Again, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. It’s unfortunate, but it does happen.
@@EKPittman Yes. Use the email for coaching in the description
You touched on several of the issues that I am experiencing in my church and specifically with the pastor.
I’m sorry to hear this Mark. That’s not an easy situation to be in. I pray God give you direction as to your next steps. Trust Him. Walking into the unknown isn’t easy, but if God calls you into it, He’ll show you the way as you walk.
Thank you so much for this video. I am in this situation now and I don't know how to get out. Please pray for me sir. God bless you.
Thank you for reaching out. I am praying for you right now. So sorry to hear you are experiencing this. May God direct your steps and lead you to his full purpose for you.
Thank you sir. Its so hard for me to even think of getting out because my whole family were deeply involved in the ministry. My kids are not aware of what is happening, they even thought that publicly shaming church members is normal. God bless you sir.
Wow! This was SO on target! I recently left an abusive, controlling church, and they met every single item on your list. Thank You Lord, for removing me from that toxic environment! I pray that God will open the eyes of the people still attending that church, and reveal the Truth to them.
I am so glad to hear that you have moved on. Congrats! Not always an easy step. I pray God lead you forward, right into His full plan and purpose for you.
I feel for my sister as she is very much involed with church life and doesnt really have any friends who arent christians. She has this amazing degree and she feels like she has to work for the church. I find it worrying when churches are trying to take peopel away who have just done there degrees and dreams. Its almost feels like her life is so involed around church there couldnt be any alternative. Which would be a shame as she could serve God with the degree and help people with that. Rather then risking it all to work in a church.
I pray your sister walk in her calling, that God direct her to fulfill the purposes He had for her.
Wow was actually at a church service where the Pastor’s wife said people who leave this church die. Don’t know if she thought they were immortal or inferring bad things happen when you leave this church. They also kept people so busy they couldn’t have a life other than serving the church.
To say they die when they leave is manipulation at its finest. I’m sorry you had to experience this.
This is not as severe as what that pastor’s wife said, but I’ve been to women’s Bible study where the pastor’s wife seemed to imply that if you didn’t go, you must hate their group. I thought that was pretty silly to say.
I have I stopped going to church bc of the trauma
I’m truly sorry you had to go through something that put you in this position. Be open to what God has for you next. He’ll surprise you with His goodness. (Even though it doesn’t feel like it right now).
Thank you 😢 I need it to hear that!!
Thank you for hearing it.
Unfortunately, there are way too many churches that pressure their congregation to serve within their walls. If you don’t, then you’re not allowing the Holy Spirit to work in you is what their belief is. This is one of those manipulations. Don’t fall for it. I have felt bad so many times when pastors made me feel this way. Not anymore. I refuse to fall to that tactic. God will use you or me anywhere He wants to if it aligns with His word and will for your life. There’s nothing wrong with serving in your local church. But don’t let leadership pressure you into anything God hasn’t called you to do.
Well said. Truth. And much appreciated insight into the conversation here. Thank you for adding this 🙏
You are speaking directly to me. This video is 💯 percent from God. In environments like this, people worship the Pastor not God. When any Pastors mentality is God is a hit man, or speak word curses over you and the love of God is no where to be found the Pastor is spiritually abusive. If he believes that he's the only one right, and everyone else is wrong all of these are red flags. Thank you for teaching truth.
Thank you Carrie. You know I never really mentioned that in the video so I’m glad you’re sharing it here. But in some ways, yes, we can worship our pastors and place him above God in our lives. Crazy when you put it into words like that but I think, looking back, that’s what I did. Many blessings to you my friend. Stay strong in the faith. 😀
@@AaronJDaigle Likewise ❤️🙏
Thank you for your videos! You are helping me understand this situation as it’s my first time going through this. I contemplated it for months because i felt like maybe i was wrong since they’re “prophetic” but i finally had enough.. i knew deep down there was manipulation and control going on.. i spoke up about how i felt and was invalidated and gaslighted. I was shamed and called a witch/demon for leaving the ministry. Feeling hurt but i am ready to heal with Christ now 🙌🏼
I am deeply sorry you had to go through this. It can be so confusing as we wonder if we really are the problem or not. I truly believe God lead you to the channel to answer some of those questions for you. And I’m deeply grateful to be a part of your healing journey. God has more for you. And in time, you will find it.
@@AaronJDaigle Thank you!! God bless you🙏🏼
Yes. I was brought in for an “interrogation,” told that I was out of order for visiting my old church, that my old church sends spies to look at what his church is doing 😅 He kept wanting reassurance regarding who my Pastor is. He gaslighted me when I brought up that I’m a social worker and been saved 17 years, so I’d be good to use in a certain ministry. He tried to make it seem like I was bragging when really, I just wanted to serve in an appropriate place according to my gifts and talents. God forbid I say anything positive about myself lol He insinuated that he knew why I was single, that he could say a lot to me but that I couldn’t handle it, he said maybe I’m not as close to the Holy Spirit as I thought I was.
I know of other people who were sent to “interrogation” prior to me. During our “meeting” he was trying to do damage control asking how many people I told that I had any issue with the way he ran the church.
More happened leading up to this but I’ll leave it at this. I was moving out of state anyway and by default, stopped attending that church.
A few months later, I go to my new churche’s altar call for physical healing(I rarely go up unless I’m desperate.) While I explain what’s going on the Pastor says as I was walking up he heard “dishonor.” He advised me to apologize to my former pastor for how I left the church. ( I planned to move out of state way before anything ever happened and after our meeting I lost all respect for him and felt vulnerable and preyed on, so I didn’t tell him I was leaving. Is the abused obligated to tell the abuser where they’re going for the sake of “honor” and “order??” I wasn’t in any ministry, no commitments, but a year of trying to be plugged in to ministry but was basically told it was only for the “yes men.” That I and others had to attain a certain standing in the church.
So I wonder, why would the Lord choose to call me out at altar call for being dishonorable, but not address what was done to me? Why would the Pastor cal me out on a microphone with cameras in my face? (There’s always cameras and mics during service for social media.) Was this a word of knowledge and if it was, I feel like that’s not how the Lord would go about it. Needless to say, I’m not going to either of those churches and have grown exhausted by this type of church culture.
You have truly been through a lot. I am very sorry for what you’ve experienced. At the same time, I can still hear your fun personality shining through your words. Sounds to me like you were attacked but not destroyed (2 Cor 4:8-10 somebody). As for the word of knowledge, I wasn’t there. The devil knows the past too though. And God doesn’t shame people. Could be that somebody told him, could be demonic, could be God revealed something to him that he spoke out of turn. I don’t know without having been there. I do know that God’s word is to be confirmed through 2-3 witnesses. So I’d ask God to confirm if I’m dealing with dishonor in some way and I’d be open to the possibility that it might apply but not in the context of your former pastor. There a plenty of variables here. I have a video under the Live tab about principles of the spirit world and it talks about some thinks that I’d like to explain but can’t really do for space. Things such as God confirming what he is already telling us, not blindsiding us with a “word of knowledge.” Id encourage you to consider watching that video. In the meantime, stay strong and keep the faith. You don’t have to do it in either of those two churches. God will show you where and when 👍
Thank you so much. I agree with the possible reasons that word went forth. I will check out the other video you mentioned and continue to seek the Lord 👍🏽
Just when I think my church debacle experience was too unbelievable your post confirms a lot of similar tactics. They really do have members that will spy on you. One member at our former church said he was assigned to me. What exactly does that mean? Strange people do strange things. Church stalkers are real.
Religious narcissists sending their flying monkeys to extract revenge. Maybe you should study a bit about narcissism
Thank you . These comments help a lot with my sanity . I was completely devastated for a couple of years, not because of the shame , I probably deserved to be called out otherwise I wouldn’t have payed attention to my lifestyle .
But I could not find a logic that , with God’s permission , that one of his churches , his people were trying to end my life 😔. It got to the point of me feeling guilty for making them sin because I knew that what they were doing to me was wrong .
I cried so much for them everyday I would feel worst and worst about myself . The situation starting changing when I went back to Catholic Church and saw how careless they are about who comes in or out, they’re serving the lord , they give you a place to confess and receive his body , they don’t care about your name, family, social media or the money you give to them , neither of you serve the church or not . I actually love that we are treated all the same .
Again , I’m not against any church , we’re all part of his body . I started playing videos of how to forgive spiritual abuse , and there was a phrase that changed everything .
God forgive me if I have ever been the villain in anyone’s story . And I confessed my situation a couple of times . I was told by the priests He wants us at all time , to come back to him and that our sins are forgiven .
I started praying for them now without the guilt , little by little , the weight and bitterness started to disappear .
It is very scary and nerve wracking to understand that a church of Christ could act that way against people . 😢
But at the same time the Holy Spirit started showing me the scripture and see other perspectives on why my old lifestyle could have triggered their actions .
There is a lot I needed to repent of , and still I do everyday , but God sent his son to pay that price , hospitals are for the sick . Same is the church , I think the leaders are there to serve the ignorant , the sick , the sinner and bring them closer to God , no ?
I would have totally respected if the pastors would have called me privately or dismissed me from church in private and teach me the reasons why . But the Holy Spirit did . And for that I’ll forever be grateful .
If you have any doubts , try to speak with a catholic priest in an appointment, and with a therapist , you’ll see a total different perspective, God loves you
Thank you for this video. I was once in a spiritually abusive church and I left a few years and I feel much better. I don't feel like if I do something wrong , I will rebuked and condemned. I can repent and God will forgive me. I refused to be in another legalistic church being controlled and mistreated.
I'm am simultaneously sad for your experience but also glad that you got out. It sounds like God gave you clarity on not having done wrong. I pray you find a legit church that helps you and your family grow even more in the relationship with Christ you already have. Many blessings my friend.
Thank you for telling the truth, very real still have children's that don't want to go back to church because of control and damage it goes very deep in the soul my wife and up in hospital burns out from serving the pastor very real ,blessings
It sounds like you and your family lived this. I’m sorry to hear about the lasting damage. I know healing is a process. And it takes time. I pray God bring you and your family through this and into what He has next for you.
One thing, you said that most churches/pastors are healthy and not abusive. Lol. I’m not so sure about that. There is a sliding scale of subtle manipulation and heavy yolk burdening, and nearly all of them seem to be along it somewhere. I’m tired boss
I get it man. I do. For sure it feels like that. I’ve been traveling, speaking in churches for years. Come across some bad ones for sure. Most of my subjective experience has been with great men and women who love God and people. Flawed of course. Like us all. But genuinely good people. I just wish this were always the case, that’s all.
Agreed
I feel that way too with the subtle manipulation part. I think that’s why I purposely don’t want to get to know the pastor or his family personally if they are like that.
Thank you for this video. Love the presentation! I’ve experienced much of what you discussed.
Thank you as well. Means the world to hear that the video meant this much to you that you would take the time to share a comment 😀🙏
This is was a answer for me to heal my heart after many years of pain of abusive churches
Thank you so so much !!
Truly does my heart well to wake up and see that this video helped you in such a meaningful way. Thank you for trusting me to be a part of your healing journey.
Awesome video
Thank you!
Excellent
Thank you
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you Geraldine!
Thank you!
I just left a place like this…Holy Spirit was showing me..revealing it to me….whew…I feel like I need to talk to someone. Currently sitting on my bed with chest pain…🥲
Hey Debrisha. I’m really sorry you’ve had to experience this. And yes, you do need to talk to someone. In the meantime, as much as it hurts, you are in so much of a better place now that you’re out then you where when you were in. Healing will come and you’ll look back on this as just a blip on the radar of your life. I know it feels like your entire world right now. But I promise, I sincerely promise, God has a very big world and you will find your new part in it. 🤍
@@AaronJDaigle Thank You…💜