How Do I Remember Myself When Facing Challenges?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
- A woman asks Rupert how to stay in her 'true self' as she is facing challenges when encountering a forceful person. They believe there is something wrong with themselves and have experienced this pattern before. Rupert suggests that staying in one's true self is not a matter of effort, but rather a natural state, and that while challenging situations may still arise, the innate peace of one's being can remain intact and communicate itself to others.
From the seven day retreat at Buckland Hall, winter 2018. For access to the full length recording see link: non-duality.rupertspira.com/w...
Timestamps:
00:00 How to deal with a forceful person and find my true self?
02:42 What it means to stay within the true self
03:40 Being yourself doesn’t require effort
05:37 How to deal with our own challenging experiences?
07:28 Will I forget my experiences?
08:11 Dealing with the collapse and overwhelm
10:16 What to do in abusive relationships
13:11 Voicing our opinion when you are unhappy
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I find the emotional response to challenges can often be the most powerful reminder to remember what you are.
Perfectly said James!!
@@SimulationSeries Thanks Allen, big fan of the podcast. Would be great to connect at some point.
yes!
Happiness is peace in motion.
Peace is Happiness at rest.
Yesssss, love this quote
its an amazing quote
If I'm at peace and I need to be "in motion", I get frustrated. If I'm happily in motion, doing something, being at rest is not particularly peaceful or pleasant, because I want to remain in motion until I am tired.
So both of those statements make no sense.
Shiroyasha you dont really get it, so you make no sense bud
@@xDMrGarrison
Remove the 'I', this is ego.
Remove the 'want', this is desire.
Now you are left with happiness
I love how Rupert listens. He listens so carefully in every sense of the word. Brilliant and useful. Thank you.
I realised that our bodies have to get used to peace and once it does that is when we stop seeking drama to keep our bodies awake
thank you for this comment. thought provoking ... a bell is gently going off!
I have literally said the same thing to myself before... it was like a realization! ☺️🙏🏾
Thee Divine Truth wow! You are SO right!! Thank you for this. I sometimes ask myself why are you doing this... You know you're only going to get upset (ex, looking at my ex's social media) and I do it anyway. And it usually comes when I'm feeling good and peaceful. It's like I needed to make myself feel badly for some odd reason. You truly made me realize why.
what do you mean by ''keep our bodies awake''? the physical bodies?
@@hereandnow5235 i think they meant more like present than awake
"It's beneath the dignity of myself... it's beneath the dignity of yourself." Tough, brave, and wonderful truth!👏
At first person tries to recall his inner world and trying different ypes of practices and doings , but he easily forgets inner world when busy in world affairs. Then there comes a time
when he will become tired of every practices and doings, .. and his sensitivity
start to increase. Then there comes a time when his sensitivity becomes so deep
that he does not need to remember his inner world but he will get reminder and
messages from everything around him and whatever happening inside of it.
Everything drags him inside, and he becomes so deep that he starts to
understand the inner language which is soundless and formless .
Then there comes a time when he will become stunned, surprised by vast
beauty , by unlimited joy vaster than any ocean , stillness deeper than any
valley. Then he will see his face in the mirror and will be surprised that he never saw this person before and everything looks utterly new.
Wow. Wow.
Wow! I got some tears reading this.... Thank you!
So true
OMG! I'd wondered about that for ages - the difference between peace and happiness. I thought one was better than the other but I can see now that they are both the same - fantastic! I love the way answers always come at the right moment. x
Thank you Rupert. Very grateful to this lady who possed that question, my great problem too.
What is also good to understand is that leaving the bully is also for the best of the bully. If you stay and submit to been bullied over and over again, that keeps bully from facing the reality and instead of turning inside for the true answer the bully projects it outside. When the bully is left alone he/she has to face themselves. So, leaving the bully is a true favor towards them opening a possibility for awakening.
I hope this helps the bullied one fighting with (unnecessary) guilt over leaving the bully.
And on top it gives the message that 1) bullying works and 2) that it's ok the bully.
classic narcissism
Who is aware they won't stop hitting themselves
I think the best way to deal with a bully, coming from a position of love, is to accept that neither of you can get along, your energies clash and that it’s in both of your best interest to part ways if that is possible. 🙏🏻
Acceptance is what we are 🙏🏻
Move into yourself ! Thank you
Early on (before the abusive relationship part), this is such a beautiful discussion, so centered and inspired. The pulsation between peaceful and joyous, reminds me of Rumi and the reed flute, god flowing through us.
This is so powerful
Excellent. Such a good teacher.🙏🏾
When we focus on the waves (life circumstances / separate self), we forget we are the ocean (life / self). And when we get off the drama triangle (victim / perpetrator / rescuer) we disarm the entanglement, like a bullying pattern or any other mind-game you refuse to enter into that gets interrupted, freeing everyone involved.
A Very important message for me at this time. Thank you
Graham Robson me too..
same here
# me too, lol
Cindy Mulvey Me too 🙏🏻
Well said. When we abide in our own self , there's no fear. Hence we can handle a bully appropriately. You know there is nothing to loose , which enables you for fitting brave RESPONSE and not any sort of reaction.
Good to discuss such facets of Advaita Vedanta.
Thank you for this validation x
Great message! Thank you for posting and thank you Rupert for your answer. This is a very important subject to clarify and know because many times people can get confused and allow Everything. There are certain situations where allowing just beconew tolerating and is important to know this distinction and act accordingly. Always come from love but also remember to include yourself in it. 🙏💜🙏
To move sooner, yes!
Helpful words.
Being mindful of self in moments that instigate a reaction we learn to catch our response and reflect before acting on the unfavorable stimulus. Much like mindful or active listening, practice pausing in initial reactions and analyze what is the desired communication outcome before choosing a reply. Then letting go of personal expectation for the outcome.
Some things and people are intolerable, and deserve a breach of contact or a firm objective objection.
You are so nice, Guru Rupert.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You will manifest what you agree with. Having said that, try this.
Every action has an assumption behind it and behind that is another assumption. Once you can recognize the assumptions try to see if you can do things differently in that awareness which will change over time. Don’t be overly concerned with doing it wrong or right. Simply abide in the awareness. If you occupy yourself too much between wrong or right it will pull you back to lack of awareness.
would like more explanations on this🙏
Perfect guidance #RupertSpira. Namaskaar !
Yes it is a powerful message. I've been seeking approval from my brother and pushing the wrong buttons. Ebbing away I can confirm that with good boundaries any can be possible, a better relationship can be initiated. 😁
Thank you!
Really valuable lesson..thankyou
Francis answer made me laugh 😂 Thank you for posting.
A good way to understand this is understanding ARCHETYPAL ENERGIES. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. Each has a shadow side aspect we need to bring into alignment through awareness 🙏
It's a helpful study!
Yes-
I like what was said (to paraphrase) about not entwining with what's happening which helps to remember oneself. I found a tradition called Drukama that runs through very practical applications as well.
It's ok to be anxious. It's ok to be scared. There is nothing wrong with you or your emotions
not really. the reason shes scared and anxious is because she believes shes a seperates self. its there to help her realize shes lying to herself. i wouldnt tolerate such feelings within me. so if you cant stand them anymore its way better for you, because then you would want to go beyond it now
Good advice. However, we should be careful not to say , “You” are this or that because unconscious and strongly ego people will just defend their behavior. We just need to stick to “i” statements. For example. “I’m no longer comfortable working together because I feel we are not on the same path.” Or “ I feel threatened and bullied working around you.” Nobody can deny what you feel, so it’s important to stick to “I” not “you”
How very true.
My Mom always taught me to use "I" statements instead of "you" . Thanks for the reminder. It is less threatening to the other when trying to get one's point across. "I feel....." is so more effective than stating "You make me...."
AND, noone can make YOU feel anything.
When it's the other way around and the other person is blaming me...I remind them..."I don't have that much power to make you FEEL anything "
I wish it was just so simple though. I haven't made a 'you' statement in this context nor suggested to a person that they were the cause of my own feelings, positive or negative in maybe a decade or so, and in my experience most people, in scenarios of some type of conflict, will hear accusations anyway. They'll take your motivations to be the same motivations they're used to seeing in classic ego battles with others. I've not found a particularly great solution to this. It's honestly been a little difficult to go through life trying to communicate with people that only hear what they want to hear and not what I'm saying. Any further advice?
People allways only hear what they „want“ to hear, its defined by the limits of their own mind.
@@WalterLiniger I have found that to be true...most of the time.
You live in your self, you don’t visit it from time to time 🤔 come back to the self ✌️. My relationship was beneath the dignity of myself so I left 🙏
Heck yeah! Hope youre doing well.
bravo rupe
That which oscillates between Consciousness and matter is prana sakthi
In my circumstance i only got it after the dismantling of who i thought i was to find my self face to face with the void or the creator and destroyer of all things.
In this place i was naked with out recourse and the only reaction available to me was complete submission to what is and in this place was the freedom to sacrifice the superficial and know the outcome only reflects that of its creator. In this place my efforts mean nothing as they are only a reaction to a moment in time and in this my actions mean nothing.
One of life's toughest lessons is to stand up to a bully. Either remove yourself from their psychic attack or look them in the eye and say in the name of God I find your manner confronting.
Bullies are cowards.
True story... I went out into the city last weekend with a large group of dear friends. There was a situation where a friend had gotten into a complication with another dear friend because she was warning her friend to be careful dancing with a “crackhead” who was about to get kicked out for public intoxitation which would lead to her possibly getting kicked out also. The one who was dancing with the person got offended because the other told her to stop doing what she was doing. It created animosity and unnecessary drama. Since listening to eckhart tolles and Rupert spiras revelations I was able to keep level headed and seperate from the drama and went to both of them with a deep understanding and clarity to the situation, in which resulted in both seeing the flaws in their approach. Instead of them both blowing up and attacking another from an egotistical point of view like many times before, I believe because of my helpful and gentle advice, both had come together to resolve their differences in an extremely healthy and mature way which led to the best night out ever! The point is... with the deep understanding of unconditional love and acceptance of the situation and others opinions, you are able to see from a “superior” and clear point of view that leads to peace. These two women are KNOWN for their infamous ability to create drama out of nothingness... and because of my calm and collected perspective, I was able to dissolve this meaningless argument with wise words in which I give full credit to Ruperts beliefs. This to me signifies the complete accuracy and correct way of living in which humans should try and achieve. Thanks!! Since then, these two have been inseparable and are going on caching trips and etc... all I did was explain each others point of view from a VERY PLACID and common point of view which led to them quieting their egos and listening from pure consciousness. LOVE IT! My friend group will be in pure harmony if others continue to listen to my advice.
Even if the soul cannot be harmed it will not accept to be 'harmed' ; it will not tolerate to become reduced by some lower energy. it cannot. the Self (soul) cannot stand it to be used by another personal self for egoïstic selfish benefit. I think even Ramana Maharshi would not allow, and Nisargadatta Maharaj certainly not. He was totally enlightend and they called him the tiger of Bombay .
Not accepting means something is harmable by some extent. 9:05
You're talking about the ego when you say it can't stand to be used. There is no soul, there's no higher or lower energy. Your self is that by which everything happens. And everything happens: things people do like, things people don't like. That which is your self accepts all, because it is all. That doesn't mean that you, a human with preferences, will allow just anything to happen. But you're making a mistake by thinking that the unit, an individual person, the thing you think has a soul is the same thing as the nature of your existence.
I am learning that what we often call our ego may be part of a survival mechanism from early childhood. The reason that we feel certain experiences "come up again and again to learn from" may be those are the ones we get charged up from the most so we are more likely to notice them. The response we believe comes from ego may be old outworn defense mechanisms from childhood. Even the seemingly "positive" experiences can stem from survival mechanisms. Example: if I seem successful I am successful and I feel good. When the striving for said success may be to hide hurt underneath, and to not face perceived weakness. I could be wrong but what we call our ego seems to be very tied up in the Neuro Affective Model survival adaptive styles.
perfect
The secret of the golden flower. Has been a wonderful technique for me, awareness looks at awareness, also a great great was immortal sisters secrets of taoist women, with this practice of resting the breath on awareness and awareness rest on the breath
Quite 👍
He who always wanted divorce decided to stay when I asked him to leave. He used non duality knowledge that nothing is happening to stay.
I gave way and allowed him to stay because he has health issues and my youngest is school going. We (my sons and I) stay out of the way in the house until the youngest finishes school and goes to college.
First you are in the situation trapped, then you realise that you are trapped, but then you get trapped again in the idea, that it's wrong, that you got trapped. So you turn away from what you believed to be, but instead of turning, to what you are, you turn back, to what you believed first to be by blaming yourself not having reached the state yet, where you don't get trapped anymore.......
All it needs is accepting the fact, that you were trapped. Be alert when the thought comes: it shouldn't be like that, i should already.......... This thought is an invitation from the separate self to join in again. Once recognized, you are aware of this mecanism and it looses its grip. This working the way back must include situations where you find yourself seemingly trapped (actually you, that what you are, is never trapped) in order to experience the difference between believing to be King Lear and remembering being John Smith.
THANK YOU
Once unbound being is realised all else is thereby rendered unreal.
Interesting vase.
Case
Yes, the peace in us is subliminally communicated to the other person... so true in my experience too. Awakening is the beginning of a more and more peaceful life... difficult situations come and go, and become less and less an issue...
made by him i think
Yes. I agree.
When I'm listening to you, the truth and beauty of what you say is self-evident. But when I go out into the world it's a hard thing to stop the mind.
Can you say something practical about that?
I’m very perplexed. Rupert speaks so much about “innate peace” and yet here he brings things down to a very pragmatic level. I for one am struggling to reconcile these two principles. If a person is imperturbable than what should be intolerable? If anything is intolerable than we cannot say the person is truly imperturbable. I don’t see what the difference is between an ordinary intelligent and rational avoidance of negative situations and an “enlightened” stance towards them. Lesser trials, a too hot room, unsatisfying relationship, a poorly functioning car even, can all be grouped into the same kind of disturbance concept that the woman spoke of and which Rupert advised to remove oneself from. What is the way of life then for a person whose achieved an awakened state. Noisy ill mannered kids in a park? Move away. Noisy ill mannered neighbors....move away? Isn’t this then saying that anyone is susceptible to disturbance and should take appropriate action? How about violent responses....if someone broke into Rupert’s neighbors house, would he help, call the police, or keep meditating? I feel a great issue is going unreconciled here - the spiritual immunity from higher consciousness vs the daily slings and arrows and what to do about them. Perhaps its resolved in the action taken while the inner self remains calm? But the problem would not be perceived as a problem if there were not some psychic disturbance accompany it. Puzzling.
This is how it is for me: I just stay neutral. It's kinda like this- if I'm an introvert it's ok to feel that way, it's ok to be an introvert. So I embrace it you see. If I feel angry as I feel the angry the head ache and such (not to say I won't take medication, etc...) I *allow* myself to feel angry and from there I can do what I need to do about the situation.
As for how enlightened people handle circumstances, I've heard about Sadhguru who says when he became this way he felt so happy on the inside he would start crying at everything. He says people should be able to do what is necessary. And then you typed, "If someone broke into Rupert’s neighbors house, would he help, call the police, or keep meditating?" He answered the question here: 12:23
Chocobo Chick I’m asking how the ethics and reasoning for all action syncs with enlightened consciousness. You point out correctly that for an extreme case one must take appropriate action (when appropriate = self preservation, for instance) ....but this easily slips into the vastly greater arena of ALL action. What job to take, who to spend time with, what achievements are worth pursuing. My larger point is the existential question of “what to do with one’s life” remains unanswered, or so it seems to me. I might be entirely wrong about this as I’m not enlightened.
@@ejay1474 Very good questions!
From a very good and thinking, mind of yours : )
“what to do with one’s life”
1. What job to take
Lookup:
Right livelihood, Samma ajiva, Buddha
Four noble truths, Noble Eightfold Path
...online.
Walpola Sri Rahula (1907-1997)
Monk, Author of What the Buddha Taught, and
Professor at Northwestern University
says
Right livelihood means that one should live by a profession which is honorable, blameless, and innocent of harm to others.
...and should abstain from making one’s living through a profession that brings harm to others, such as trading in arms and lethal weapons, intoxicating drinks or poisons, killing animals, cheating, and such stuff
Above is from site tricycle.org/magazine/noble-eightfold-path/
Would depend on many many factors:
If you feel happy in clean fresh air, open skies, crystal clear spring water
bodies
nature, interacting with people
one on one, solitude
singing, speaking, writing, cooking, caring, sharing (knowledge)
...and many more.
2. Who to spend time with
Mindful people
Mindful of suffering, and, interacting from caring & compassionate heart
Yogis
, Buddhists, Caregivers, Spiritual people, ...
3. What achievements are worth pursuing
Knowledge of:
* Food
* Sustaining one's health
and surroundings
* Speedy recovery from illness
Practice of Mindfulness (not getting embroiled in topic)
and
Caring nature
Best.
Amit thanks for the kind words. I’m still seeing a system of “quarantining” the good from the bad in your response. Idealistically, yes, we should all lives tranquil harmonious lives doing good for all. Unfortunately this is not an option for many people, nor would it even capture the full spectrum of human *positive* experiences.
Sometimes we need to go to a darker side, ie sex, rock & roll, dare I even say a bit of (hopefully) controlled violence, the underlying message of movie Fight Club. If it’s part of you it must be known and faced lest it lurk beneath and infect or cripple you.
There is a fundamental principle of life called anti-fragility, so coined it seems by Nassim Taleb, which explains the necessity of adversity and hardship to gain strength. It is the reason why 5 minutes of meditation is usually too little. (Think weight lifting here for another literal example.)
Being upset - being in forceful opposition to what is perceived as unjust or threatening - is hardwired into the human brain. Did not Arjuna of the Gita actually conduct his battle?
This all means, in more everyday parlance, that life sometimes just fucking sucks and you’re not going to get through it without some tears, slaps, bangs, and bumps. You’re human. We need to compete to survive.
Sorry but enlightenment is a idealization or maybe a rare psychic phenomenon not definitely not a practical reality for human society, thus I find guys like Rupert a bit disconnected.
If he had had to fight in WWII I wonder what he he’ve done....kill the enemy with love and compassion, not fire his weapon (thus making his squadron weaker), what?
Exacto... y solo mejor decides dejarlo por la paz y en paz. y como ya es desde una comprensión mucho más madura, ya no vuelves jamás y de eso estás totalmente seguro.
❤️❤️❤️
Thats the point, you can't loose it, but you can forget that you are it.
Is it possible attaining not to forget? Yes.
Is it a god idea to treat challenges like this... not allways.
It is spiritual bypassing.
If a certain sutiation keeps coming back, there is something worth looking at.
You can decide not to, but then it will keep coming back, sometimes more and more forceful, and it will influence your thinking, feeling and behaviour.
Be really honest to youeself:
Are you are ok with that:
Ok, end of story.
If not, take a deeper look.
I feel I know the way a friend feels about the "thought of I tried everything,"from her thoughts, she is correct in her ow belief,and religion, politics, bs (belief system), but, since I or some others don't believe what she does, we are all in -correct,
I wish,I new how to deal with it, anythoughts?
The woman sounds like Malania Trump.
Happiness is 6:42 in motion....
🙏🙏
I agree but thing is, you attract bullies for a reason and not out of sheer bad luck thus I'd assume you are still heavily ego oriented and that ego needs and gets a reality check this way. So more inner work.
Can I be remembered or forgotten or is i the one thats duality appears too..
💙🙏
To turn the attention towards the source. We have to loosen up the attention from the objects ( Thoughts, Sensations, Feelings). Is that all we have to do ? Do we have to wait for the moment when our attention turns toward the Self and then the Self will know itself. Please the one who knows guide me if this path is correct ?
Mayank Singh The source is the Self, is the part of you who is experiencing your thoughts and feelings and sensations.
The Self is your being, your intuitive sense of “I” which you are connected with 24/7, all your life.
The intuitive sense of “I am” is so intimate to you and so ordinary that it’s overlooked.
You can’t give attention to this sense of “I”, you can only kinda sink back in it because your are it. It’s like a recognition, a kinda self remembering.
Self enquiry is the best way to the recognition to your “ Self”. Eg, who is it that knows of my thoughts, feelings, and sensations?
I hope this helps, it’s difficult to explain this logically as your experience of “I am” is beyond the mind and concepts.
It’s your being ness, your “Isness” you just are 🙏🏻
👍 has 🙏
so, doing, to remind ourself that we are not the doer, again and again?
Reminding by seeing not by tought
It also brings up the issue of self defence. While I can love far more, feel peace much more, I would also not accept threats to myself or those I am with.
Having begun by telling her there is nothing she can do to be herself as it's her true nature, he then tells her at 7m 33s to do whatever she needs to do to remind herself she is herself. 🙄
Yes : )
Simply remember and be.
7:35 ...and one begins to live (to interact) in peace : )
Ingenious.
*
What's happening now is... one is remembering to fight ...and therefore fights : )
Simply remember:
1. To do the opposite of fighting... in the moment...
2. Expect the other, too, to do the same... interact peacefully, now that you have taken the lead.
If the other does not follow your lead, move on.
...and one begins to live peacefully.
She formulated that question so weirdly. I was not able to grasp properly what she means. Did she mean something within herself? Something like a huge dangerous inner-critique? I haven't watched the whole video yet. Probably I will find out during watching.
@@martingarreis he did. "She formulated that question so weirdly." This is one of the big issues on the internet: I misread what they wrote, but I still want to comment.
Please... watch the whole video before commenting. And watch with complete acceptance and understanding. No ego, your comment is egocentric in nature wether you realise or not. No judgement here, just observation.
The Open Secret Tony Parsons
When he says stay in the self does he mean stay in the body?
no, the self as that which "knows" body, thoughts, world, ideas, etc. Enjoy exploring the rest of Rupert's talks, it might help you understand more than what my clumsy summary can do. It's a nice journey.
For this persons question about that recurring feeling - I found this Rupert video Very Helpful! - th-cam.com/video/dUR_CqH7kO8/w-d-xo.html
I would suggest non dual psychotherapy :)
And non-dual tea.
James Morgan 😅😅
happiness is peace in motion
and that peace is not dependent on what clothes you wear, what situation you are in. that nature of peace is unwavering and with you, and is you.
The woman sounds Catalan.
6:30. ❤
7:30. RXXXXX
10:15. 🚩
13:00 👌
I love. Lets not beleive the illusion of " disharmony" in truth if there aren't any ego and problématics as oneness and truth is everlastingly everpervading is there such thing as 'perceived suffereing' if this remains part of our 'mind' it perpetuate the 'thought'and therefore reality that there is such a thing as suffering or sufferers. Source of awareness, You, Is, all are
And none Are . lets know dear One we are at Home in God Always. Now home source. Its all there is
And this isness is perfect, innocent safe, sinless, pure, happy and Peace. Leave all ideas of preconceived notions all underlying sufferes exist. It is as if there are actors playing these 'roles' so we can forgive and get closer to oness. I wish we can think and trutfully know that we Are All there here in God's Peace Now as One the one Sonship returned Home. the One God son is I You . om
Rupert does not seem to me - to put any spin on things…
headless.org
Thank you for this link. Yesterday while meditating I felt as though my head dissolved, I actually felt 'headless', as though the 'being in my headness' had opened out to a being centred in my body that reached out into infinity from where my head had been. Today I see this link.....
Muy mal!
Pero que muy mal!
Cada vez más ponéis Spira sólo en inglés 😤😤😤
Los vídeos en español están en el canal Rupert Spira Español
@@trinity2world
Pero todo lo que va apareciendo nuevo ya sólo en inglés
@J. GARCIA este es el canal en inglés y solo está en inglés. El otro es en español y solo ponen vídeos traducidos al español o con subtítulos
@@trinity2world
Gracias.
Voy a cancelar la suscripción.
Rupert offers the highest teaching, but the questioner just wants to solve her relationship issues.
I think I would to, being in that human-situation -as a lot of people are.. Our work is here, in all that we are (while we are 'here')...
How are the relationship issues of less value than the highest teaching? Everything is illuminated by the teaching
So many stupid questions.