While it's true that you can't help how you're going to feel you can work on accepting that it will happen (Your feelings, even if irrational) and once you accept that you can work through the consequences just how she did in the video. So, I have a lot of trouble being in public because I think people will look at me and think I'm weird. So what if they do? Is that going to have an impact on my life? I dunno, I'm just now working on this method! :) Jeez, the two replies before mine look like bots rofl.
This is just superb, I have been researching "social anxiety coach" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (just google it )? It is a good one off product for removing the root cause of social anxiety without the hard work. Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got amazing results with it.
Just wonderful, I've been looking for "there is no cure for social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (just google it )? It is an awesome one off guide for removing the root cause of social anxiety minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my work buddy finally got great success with it.
This was great, I have been researching "tips to stop social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my partner got excellent success with it.
This was great, I been tryin to find out about "shyness anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
i commented on this page 3 years ago and to see my comment today really brough home how much i have overcame social anxiety over the last 3 years,i never thought i would get to this point but the only answer is to put yourself into situations that bring on the anxiety,if your mouth is trembling,hands sweating,you just have to push through it,if i can do it anyone can !!!!
(Update) I’m doing better. I try to use the anxiety to my advantage (getting ready to go out faster, etc). If I can’t, then I’ll do something to get it off my mind. Of course it still lingers, it always does, but now I’m starting to like going out. I try to do so at least once a month. It’s far from where I want to be, but I know I’m improving. How is everyone else doing?
There’s a lot of shame around anxiety. It’s not just that you will be alone at work it’s also that you’re ashamed that other people don’t care about you
I really struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder. It started when I was 18 at school, I became overwhelmed by humiliation and embarrassment. This caused a core belief to develop which was the fear of rejection and scrutiny of my perceived failures. This essentially creates a lack of confidence, or hopelessness. Prior to those years experiences like that were like a water of a ducks back. However, when the brain is exposed to fear the brain develops very strong distorted beliefs. The Amygdala part of the brain (Anxiety centre) has no sense of time, therefore it can feel you are stuck in time with your fears today. Similar actually to PTSD, you are reliving those experiences. So before I continue, go back to that event and try to see any distortions using CBT. Then after doing that, see where your generalisations are today, you might find you are repeating certain thought distortions like Emotional Reasoning and Mind Reading. Freaky! To change your illness or neurosis, you have to change your core beliefs, which are only changed through repeated exposure to those fears you believe you cannot deal with. Like the fear of failure. I believe you can deal with them, you just need the right therapist to aid your self confidence in doing it. Think of it like a sport, the more you play the better you get. Or watching the 12 Monkeys with Brad Pitt. The more you watch it, the more you understand in it and your beliefs about the film or experience has changed. Automatic thoughts are from your core beliefs ultimately. If CBT has failed you before, you are not alone. A therapist needs to tell you that in order to change a heavily ingrained anxiety disorder or depressive/personality disorder is to look for new evidence that your core belief is distorted. DBT can also be very good at slowing down and controlling your internal judgments. So when you are in the transition of changing your core beliefs, you can slow down and not react to the automatic negative thoughts. I really recommend that. This will give you a sense of self confidence which is really what has been lost, or never achieved. The brains neuroplasticity will not change over night. Your brain will not believe the rational things you tell yourself when you create new experiences that may be true. This is so important to understand because this is why people give up. Have you Ever had CBT before experienced change then relapse. This is because your core belief is fragile and resilient to change. The brain will not give up sadly on your neurotic beliefs. If you stick with your own CBT and work hard you will change. If you find a very good CBT therapist who understands this, it will help you tremendously to move forwards and achieve new goals. Another way at looking at changing your thoughts and beliefs when someone ever says you shouldn't be anxious over this or that, and they show you what your thinking is wrong. Then you know on an intellectual level its wrong, but you struggle with believing it. How could the human brain be so fallible! Only one reason why, that's because we are all fallible. So when you damn yourself because of your condition, learn not to you. This goes out to perfectionists. Sure, you can get one hundred percent on an arithmetic exam, but not forever on other exams. This would be God like, so when people troll me, or someone exceptionally talented like, "Lionel Messi" or for girls "Serena Williams" know that this unreasonable critic will fail and sadly will have developed a rotten attitude towards others failures. At school this is called a bully, they do not want to show their failures. If you can remain calm you might try to show them their own. If they become overwhelmed with anger or attack you then learn self-defence so you can show them their epic failure to attack you. Wow how humiliating! The good news is that you can bring Social Anxiety back down to a manageable level. It would be perfectionistic of you to say I want to get rid off my anxiety. Mostly everyone has social anxiety at some point, however the difference is the core beliefs between the two extremes. One is at ease with themselves and remains in the social situation relatively unchecked. They believe they are confident with exposing their weaknesses, their failures. They know they are fallible and will make mistakes and others will scrutinise them. For them this is sometimes difficult to accept. Sometimes the scrutiny is correct, the difference? they will allow others to do that knowing they can always become better at something, while the latter will most likely be Personalising this. This is a thought distortion in social anxiety, it is when the fear suddenly becomes aroused and you become anxious, angry and very defensive. Something you will have to change, and you will. If you work on these core issues, you will be open to new relationships and be willing to show your true self under different circumstances. You may end up in a romantic relationship where you will handle conflict with ease, because your partner may be right about your failings. You will accept it and work on it. You will become better at that performance if you like. So good luck to all of you. Two books I recommend: The Anxiety And Worry Workbook by David A.Clark, PHD. Arron T.Beck, MD. And 2nd Ed Mind Over Mood for Self-Help. www.thebestbrainpossible.com/the-10-fundamentals-of-rewiring-your-brain/ "Initial changes are temporary. Your brain first records the change, then determines whether it should make the change permanent or not. It only becomes permanent if your brain judges the experience to be fascinating or novel enough or if the behavioral outcome is important, good or bad."
barkerjonty Thank you for your insightful, detailed, and thorough explanation of the thought process of those with social anxiety. My SAD felt almost incurable but after reading your explanation it simplifies everything. Thanks for taking the time to post this!
I really appreciate the share of your knowledge. It calmed me a lot and gave me hope again to work on my social anxiety. I hope to get in contact with you for further talk if you want. Thanks
social anxiety or anxiety in general is horrible,im 29 and its really held me back,isolated me,i live such a mundane life,i cant walk down the street in my local area incase i bump into someone.ive blocked my friends out over the last few years and stopped going to things but one thing i know for sure is that i will i overcome to an extent where i can deal with.watch this space
Cheers for this, I've been looking for "curing my social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some great things about it and my friend got great results with it.
This was great, I been tryin to find out about "anxiety before social events" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my colleague got cool success with it.
paul parker I'm 17 and I have it every time I go to school I get really nervous that people talk about me behind my bad so I get anxious and anxiety It is so bad that I barely go to school I went to the Doc but I don't like the medical medication I get I don't know what to do about it!!!! Can someone help?!
This is glorious, I have been researching "social anxiety shyness" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got cool results with it.
For me I feel like I burden my friends with constantly talking about feeling anxious or negative self talk that I don’t talk to them about how I’m feeling cuz I feel like they won’t like me if I’m constantly a negative person. That I’ll kill the party vibes. So I end up feeling alone with my issues which makes it worse. Can anyone relate to the feeling of being isolated with your thoughts?
11219tt exactly how I feel rn. My best friend deals with a different type of anxiety then I do. She shares it with me and I listen. When she’s feeling down I don’t want to bring up what I’m going through too. When she is happy I don’t want to ruin that, so I don’t say anything. Let me say REAL FRIENDS care. Sit down and talk to them about it and they should have understanding. Go deep.
@@TaKyraMoonlight i know exactly what you're talking about as this happens with my sister & i, because we are twins we both have social anxiety but we don't want to trigger each other with our issues but at the same time we have no close friends because we both have social anxiety but we understand each other so well, so it is hard to find that balance. i guess that is what therapy is for, i am hoping that we will each find a community to get support from soon. i have also been reading lots of helpful books and resources. we will overcome together!
love this exercise. I gave it a go tonight following the same method and went from 80% of feeling i'm weird, make people uncomfortable and are annoying to feeling more around 35%.
I’m 27 now and social anxiety has absolutely held me back and was destructive since I was as young as I remember. I feel as if I’m maybe moving forward now as I’ve kicked a video game and almost a mad marijuana addiction I used to hide from social anxiety and recently started taking care of myself and being more mindful over the past 2 years. Just in the past few months I started challenging the fears as much as I could. I hope this is finally the direction towards healing and making it through this. it has affected my relationships with everybody including my daughter at times. Don’t stop moving forwards.
@@feintmi3393 Lol same here and this is why I don't want to have kids. I just know that it'd affect their experiences in a bad way and they wouldn't have a normal upbringing.
... we can't all be amazing. I think ACCEPTING that we are crap with some things and aren't afraid to admit it helps :) social anxiety is all about protecting our ego. Once we accept what we struggle with and can see it face on it makes things easier.
I would avoid using the same 'what would be so bad...' line of questioning for this technique. If you use this repeatedly it starts to give the impression you are minimising your clients suffering. Consider using phrasing such as 'if that were true, what would that say about you?' or 'what does that suggest?' or 'why does that bother you do you think?
Dude it’s such a brilliant way to let client to examine her own “evidences” at the end and found out BY HERSELF, which is a much more powerful way than the therapist telling her those are not valid evidences, that some of her evidences are not true or they are just coming from her but not how others think of her as a friend.
Hey, I'm 20 too and I just had the feeling, I should write to you. This is really sad to hear, this time must have been terrible for you or maybe it still is, because those thoughts come back again and again. It's very strong that you are seeking for help and see, what effect it has on your life. What I am sure of: You are made as a beautiful and awesome person, and a loved son of god. You are made for a purpose and I know for a fact that you are not all the bad things that people told you in your history. We all have character traits that people might not like, and then some take this as a reason to point out that you are "annoying", "embarrassing" or anything like that. And that is terrible. What it really does is that you start to believe the things they tell you about your worth. Actually I just have one advice to you because I would never know what else would help as good as this. So many people I know have found their peace over anxieties in finding out how much worth Jesus sees in them. And I know that you are loveable, because he made you specifically. I really mean this and I have the feeling this can help you in finding out who you are and dealing with your anxiety. God bless you, brother. :)
@@AstmaMinzbonbon I don't think believing the prophet Issa(jesus) a son of god or god him self will help in any thing but associating a man to Allah which is chirk and it's a sin that is unforgiveable in addition to his SAD that is crushing him and so I I recommand you this statement to all the christians From the Imam Mahdi, khalifa of Allah, on earth Nasser Mohammad Al-Yemeni to the entire nation of Christian (supporters of the Messiah) among the worlds of the Arab and foreign, and peace be upon who followed the guidance of the worlds.. link to the statement www.nasser-yamani.com/showthread.php?23579- and this statement untitled ..Donald Trump is an enemy to the original American people, and an enemy to all Muslim and Christian people and their Governments, and an enemy to human populations altogether except the human satans the extremest ones in satan’s party www.nasser-yamani.com/showthread.php?29173-
Same here, I got bullied from like elementary till high school and apart from that was also getting abused at home. It’s no wonder I didn’t finish high school lmao. I have such crippling social anxiety I haven’t had a normal life in years. Spend most of my time here at home and barley go out. It’s exhausting. If I were you I’d look into complex ptsd because it sounds like you’re dealing with it just like me. I don’t think exposure therapy works for people like us at least not at first because our trauma messed us up physically as well as mentally. It’s hard to explain but when you read about complex ptsd you’ll hopefully understand more the impacts of trauma.
I'm 23 and I have social anxiety. I feel like it's taken over my life. I don't make friends, I don't go out with people and.I'm not close to my family. when im around people my mind just goes blank and I literally start shaking and stuttering. I didn't have the hottest upbringing and I was bullied at home and in school. I really want to get help, but in a way it scares me to have to talk to a stranger about my fears and anxieties, but I have to do it anyway I can't live like this anymore.
Been feeling like this since 2nd grade. I’m a junior now. I feel like there’s no hope. I’ve built up this persona of the quiet/shy kid for years and even if I tried to break it all down it would be so hard
I have been suffering from SAD for basically my entire life and have run out of (comfortable) options to cope. As of late, I have been considering going for CBT, but am worried about the process. Recently, I had a great friend do this to me. It began when she offered me a food that I had never tried before, I declined her offer. She then began asking me questions, a few examples being: "Why don't you want to eat it?" "What is preventing you from trying it?" "What are you afraid of if you were to eat it?" She kept pressing me with such questions and I just began freaking out. I began sweating profusely, face went red, major heart palpitations/racing, adrenaline and of course, negative thoughts. It felt as if I was surrounded, backed into a corner with nowhere to escape. She went on and on until she could tell I was at maximum discomfort, then just stopped. During this time, I felt very offended, like she thought it was funny. As I came down from my panic, I began attempting to create small talk as if nothing had just happened. We chatted for maybe 10 minutes on and off, then she says, "You realize this was all over eating food, right?". That's when it hit me. I always knew that I was being held back by anxiety, but not to such an extent. I could not believe that a food had just caused me that much emotional pain. I now wonder what else anxiety has had me miss throughout my life. I think I may give a therapist a call.
Well. You don't need to be worry about anything, because social anxiety you must overcome by therapists sir! You need to free your mind. Think more positive about what you have done. Make sure you are with people you feel comfortable with, people who care for you, laugh with you, respect you. Please go to get help you need.
I don't think this works for me atleast ...bcoz when im around someone i know i don't even feel like i have a social anxiety but when that person is not with me then it becomes really hard for me to even face a stranger....
@@serengeti8886 Does it happen to you to feel angry at you feel comfortable with who knows your have SAD when he is asking you things while you're anxious in a public place but you don't when it's someone ignoring that you have the SAD and just suffering silently In the end you feel like a hypocrit reacting politely (fear) with the ones ignoring your SAD and complaining with the closest to you I know it's a bit weird anyway it always was
@@serengeti8886 I would if too, I dislike my social anxiety alot, I've stopped having friendships and relationships in the past because I thought I not was not good enough.
I’ve always felt like I have SAD but then I hear other ppls stories and I feel almost selfish because I don’t have panic attacks. I freak out at the thought of talking to someone especially strangers , my immediate thought is that there going to look at me and think wow what a weirdo .I think about first impressions and that how in the first 30s of talking to someone they then make a judgement of what kind of person you are so it’s just easier to hide away . Every stranger I see I immediately see them as hostile and try to move away , I think this may be linked to being bullied all through school . The strange thing is I’ve fought so hard to avoid being around people I’ve found that the safest thing for me is to stay inside and shut the curtains , this makes me feel safe and now part of me doesn’t want to get help because I’ve found away to cope and I’m scared to get help . Is this social anxiety disorder ?
I'm aware you've posted this 6 months ago, but I still would like to say this to you. I also don't have panic attacks but I have been diagnosed with SAD. I experience the same as you, and it's gravely affecting my daily life. I don't like shopping for example. I'm too afraid to even pick out a piece of clothing out of the racks, scared that others will think that I've a bad taste in style. I'm also afraid to pay for it. What if I do something wrong? What will they think? That I'm stupid because I can't even manage to do something so simple as using my card to pay? Or that I move my hands in an awkward manner? It's these small things that are really hard for me. I also feel that I'm safest in my home, in my room, alone. Though, because of that I risk social isolation, which isn't good and avoiding the things you're afraid of will make you even more afraid next time, until you're too scared to even step a foot outside. SAD can improve greatly through therapy (CBT), so there's no reason to let it go so far as having your life ruined because of SAD. I advice you to seek help if you feel it's affecting your life too much. Please don't be scared, and definitely don't feel selfish. It's about how YOU feel. There'll always be someone who has it worse, that doesn't mean that your case isn't important and doesn't need help. You are just as important.
@@EmmaVZ every word of this is exactly how i feel. I always think I'm just faking SAD as an excuse because I don't get panic attacks, but i AM going through every other thing socially anxious people go through. I just don't know who and what to believe.
Wow, this made me tear up, it made me nervous and just.. very emotional. Diagnosed with social anxiety most of my life. It has been 4 years since I left my therapist, she left a bad taste in my mouth because she didn't keep things confidential that she promised to. Recently though, I have been considering trying another. It scares the hell outta me to talk to someone but I have been only getting worse and feel I need to push out of my safe zone. I have heard wonderful things about CBT and, this video helps understand what I will be getting into & makes me a bit less anxious.. I am just so bad at opening up, It will take time to trust a new therapist...
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with a therapist! i know it's hard because the other therapist was not confidential, but I definitely recommend finding another therapist. Before you start therapy, just be sure to look at the confidentiality agreement before signing any papers. If you're therapist doesn't abide by the agreement, he/she could get in a lot of legal trouble.
I’ve had social anxiety for most of my life but it was quite mild when I was younger and over the years it’s gotten worse and now even the thought of doing something like speaking in front of people sends me into a mini panic attack and it makes me scared for the future because I am unable to feel ok existing around people without feeling judged. I can’t live like this forever but I’m so scared to do certain things that I’d truly rather die. My family always says to take hold of my fears but I don’t think they truly know how hard it is for me to try and do that since if it were that easy I would have overcome it by now. I am also worried to seek professional support in fear of opening up about how I feel but I hope that one day in the future it won’t be as bad as well as the other many people who suffer.
Anybody that comes to this video and has Social Anxiety, like me..i feel like we should start a group chat or something so that we have others like us to talk to since, we will all understand each-other....This shit is lonely and depressing.
I have friend (wellwisher) But sooner they gonna turned to hater Gonna hate me vuz i have no guts to do rightthing or just i dont have capablity to standup for my friends Forget about friend even dont have gut to standup for my mum 😠😠 Wtf am i Its like u live long n became villian N i dont wanna be villain😠😠 N whenever i wanna develop my social skils one n only thing stops me what they gonna say what they gonna do Oh lord fuckin hard
I've been dealing with social anxiety since I started high school. I always feel like people will ignore me or judge me, since most people are fake in high school. I'm still struggling with it and I'm in college, I want to give my truthful opinion on things, but for some reason I get nervous and scared when that happens and I always get left behind. I want to change but it's really hard. I understand what that girl feels and says. I want to talk again, I want to enjoy my life again, I want people to know me and not know me as the quiet kid who is serious and strange. Thinking too much before talking and being socially anxious has negatively impacted my life. I'm meeting a counselor now and I'm getting better. Anyone that struggles with this , I hope you overcome it becuase it's difficult even as a young adult like me knows this is difficult. Good luck and take care guys and let's defeat our social anxiety.
I am studying to be a school counselor and I absolutely love your use of Socratic questioning to help the client. This is helping me a lot! It also seems if you’re using a person centered approach; integrating the two. Person centered bc i definitely see the empathy.
Really? I don’t see a lot of signs of the person centered therapy. It’s one of the therapies I graduated at. With person centered therapy, we go much more into the deep, we stay with the difficult emotion, experiences, we give a lot of empathy then. We also go to the bodily sensations etc. In some sorts of person centered therapy, we work with chair dialogues that do the same. We try to switch the non adaptive emotions to adaptive emotions, by bringing people and let people go to the adaptive emotions. It’s much, much more about feeling...
Thank you for this video! It might help me to overcome my fear and dislike of therapists, I've been skipping my sessions for a while now, and watching videos like this might help me realize it's actually not that scary and can be helpful C: Also thanks to the patients, and this nice lady in particular, I imagine it might have been hard to speak about your personal matters on camera and having it watched by thousands :)
@@JudithJohnsonphd after knowing its actor now i feel more social anxiety. I thought it was real person who was suffering like us. U broke our hearts 😭💔💔💔
I talked to my school counselor for the first time and it was an awful experience for me. She was a really good councilor, it was just me. It’s super hard to talk to people I don’t know. I cannot imagine myself going to a therapist to talking about my mental issues and not my grades.
@@lem8540 Well it may not have helped that the therapist was from the school, as we see from this example school can be a stressor and you may have difficulty opening up there. Try a therapist far away and see if that helps, some therapists wont suit you either. Now i know a therapist wont discuss your case with anybody but it may just be easier to open up.
@@antseanbheanbocht4993 Well she wasn’t an actual therapist. She’s the school counselor. She’s there to assist everyone with their academics and will help figure something out if your grades are low. They’ll also talk to you about minor emotion or social problems if you need to. My Doctor also says to not go to a school counselor and go to an actual therapist instead. But just based off that experience I’m really nervous because therapy is gonna be a lot more personal.
I love Hannah! Shes someone I'd love to be friends with, she's so calm and kind. Sounds like her coworkers are just not in her vibe. I never hung out with my coworkers either. It's like, you don't choose your coworkers, so it's understandable if you don't mesh.
As someone who doesn't actually have friends, this video was painful to watch and discouraged me from seeking counseling...I feel like it would just confirm what I am afraid of. Which, yes, I realize is probably even more of a reason to speak to someone to understand why I can't keep friendships, but the fear of having to confront that maybe I really am not worth a damn, is more than I can bear at the moment. I'll keep my head in the sand for now, thank you.
I just wanted to say I also felt uncomfortable watching this as due to my anxiety I've never been able to keep friends and I have shrunk away even from family relationships in my life, so I didn't really relate to the girl in the video. However I have gone to counselling and therapy and can absolutely recommend it. It can be a challenging process but they are there to support you throughout these painful realisations in a way that will ultimately help you see beyond them and take small steps towards where you want to be. You deserve to find inner peace. I wish you the best of luck.
It is discouraging but all it takes is the right therapist/shrink. The right one is more equipped to understand your situation than just a random person you know from work or from a random encounter.
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
@@Avo7977 isn't it obvious? It's unbearable to hear the 'what would be so bad' asked again and again. It's ridiculous. No one would come back to session 2. Can you acknowledge that?
- [0:38] 😔 Difficulty making friends at work and feeling excluded is a significant worry. - [1:48] 🧠 Negative belief of not being worth being friends with stems from experiences at school. - [3:30] 🤝 Despite negative belief, close relationships with family and friends contradict it. - [4:47] 🤔 Thought challenging exercise highlights evidence against negative belief. - [6:04] 🎉 Willingness to organize events and prioritize friends' needs indicates being a good friend. - [8:33] 💭 Realization that choice plays a role in social interactions shifts perspective on worthiness.
I personally felt this approach; one question after another, was rather like an interrogation. I understand this is a model. and one that is probably used differently in reality. But for me, this session seemed rushed, with rash judgements being made, without really listening to what was being said!
Great video!! might help a lot of people struggling with SAD. Thanks ma'am for letting people know how simple and powerful CBT is. good luck to all :) peace!!
That is so funny! But, I know what she was getting at. Maybe alternatively she could say what would be the WORST case scenario and take that worst case scenario and frame it against something truly horrific like gruesome physical violence or starvation or public humiliation, being placed in stocks or something. ha ha. Just being alone while working doesn't sound like such a catastrophe then. The thing is, you can't hang with the cool kids at the bar if you aren't being outspoken and truthful. Saying the dumb thing and then being able to laugh at yourself and enjoy life is the ultimate goal. Protecting herself is keeping her from the group activities and it sounds like she might be invited but doesn't go. Friends like this client (hopefully actress) are so valuable. It doesn't take long to figure out someone's value once they are willing to show you who they are. If this is a real client, it's a really valuable demonstration. It reminds me of Gloria in "Three Psychotherapies." If you've never seen it, try to find and watch! It's terrific and shows some of the grandfathers of phsychotherapy.
I feel for this girl. I think every single one of us in these comments would be her friend. She seems like a very sweet person and like she’d be a great friend. 💜
I did this...It did help in that i learned how to challenge my thoughts...But I did not find that the out of 10 or 100 hundered questions could help me connect....I think that anxiety is all in the moment and that in that moment then it feels off the charts....But when you have time to think and understand then you underestimate that number because you know that it is a very irrational feeling.There should also be an understanding of how ingrained these thoughts can become over a length of time.I had this and I did not get help for more than 20 years because i did not know what it was...It leads to depression ,Perfectionism and so many other problems.I would dwell on bad memories and drag them up to crush myself,it was like i could not bear to feel happy.I still do this from time to time but finding somebody to to trust or talk to really does help.
Judith if you don't mind that I address you by your first name. I've just made a giant leap towards overcoming social anxiety - I subbed a psych channel! In all seriousness however, I've been in psychotherapy for twenty years due to anxiety disorders. This is the best application of CBT I've ever seen. I've found it to be so ineffective that I've been quite resistant to it for many years. This video has compelled me to "give it another go". On a separate, completely inconsequential note - Manchester UK? I'm across the pond.
Just like Paul Parker from the comments, I hereby declare I'm going to overcome my S.A.D. I will bookmark this video and hopefully comment on it in a few years with a positive result. Cheers.
It's been around a year and a half I think, it's gotten much better in some aspects, but still got a long way to go. The good thing is I'm going through a major life change currently, and hopefully it's gonna make it easier to overcome it.
Ive learnt that everything is 100% your own thoughts and feelings. No matter what situation youre in there is 0 need to experience any social anxiety at all. The only time fear is important is when your life is in danger to activate flight response & adreneline which could save your life. People with the worst disabilities imaginable have still managed to make friends and do great things with their lives. The trick is believing in yourself and always focusing on the positives in life. Easier said than done I know, but that is the answer.
I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Though, it started out very severely when I was younger, something called selective mutism. Which is a very severe form of social anxiety where children (usually younger) ‘decide’ not to speak to anyone. Or at least that’s what some people think. Though, to me it was more like I was physically completely incapable of doing so. No matter how hard I tried, not a single word would come out my mouth. I wouldn’t speak to teachers, friends, my grandparents and even my close immediate family (that I lived with) at one point. But it got bette. I slowly started to talk to more and more people. Now here I am. 16 years old. In my last year of secondary school. No longer classed as having ‘selective’ mutism. (Which I’m proud of myself for, because I’ve come a long way.) But I am still struggling with social anxiety in general. I can’t put my hand up in class. If attention is drawn to me, my face my burn up and turn right red which only makes me feel even MORE embarrassed. I avoid certain people and teachers so I don’t have to talk to them. I have very few friends. I’m afraid to participate in after school activities or during class etc. For example, everyone thinks that I’m just lazy because I never put effort into PE lessons, they pick on me. Call me lazy, boring, can’t be bothered etc. But the truth is that I just can’t put effort in because I’m so SO afraid of people judging me and pointing me out or congratulating me for doing well or for just being good at something. It would make me feel stupid. And I KNOW it’s insane. Trust me, I do. But it’s how my brain works and I can’t help it. You’d think that I’d think I get more attention drawn to me by not putting in effort and being ‘lazy’ but I think otherwise. And I can’t explain why. Maybe that’s a deeper issue, who knows. But another thing is I can’t even eat in front of people. I find it so difficult to actually eat or drink in front of someone. Because, what if I drop a bit of my sandwich or something is round my mouth or I accidentally choke on my food etc etc etc, in my brain, people are staring at me and judging me and just waiting for me to slip up in some way and when I do I’ll get laughed at and I’ll be humiliated for life. I can’t even discuss what I’ve eaten the day before or recently etc because I’m afraid that someone will judge me and think I’m unhealthy and call me fat and spread things about me. I remember this one time my friend invited me round her house for dinner and she wanted me to get on her school bus (I don’t usually get on buses) to her house with her and have dinner there with her. But I couldn’t. Because I was scared that I would have to socialise with people on the bus from my school that I don’t usually talk to. And that when I had dinner at her house, everyone would stare and I couldn’t handle eating in front of her (back then it was so bad that I would eat lunch at school, I would have to starve because I was so afraid of being judged, things are a little better now.) and then I thought that I could just not eat what she gives me but then I’d look like I’m ungrateful and spoilt and then it would be her mum that’s judging em instead. Do I just didn’t go and missed out on a fun opportunity because of it. I don’t even have the confidence to ask my mum if I can go to real CBT in real life. Which is why I’m here.Social anxiety stops me from living my life. Doing what I want to do. And I’m trying everything I can to make it stop and take back control. Because I would give absolutely ANYTHING to make that happen. And you should too. This is my story that I just wanted to share. It was more for me than anything. Just to go through everything with my self and try to sort things out in my head, if you get what I’m trying to say. But I’m hoping maybe other people can relate and know that their not alone and we just have to help each other get through this. If you read all this, you deserve an award 😂 . Keep trying. Never give up because remember, you’ve improved before, so you can do it again and again and again.
You are exactly like me. I was even scared to write comments on TH-cam because of the judgement. But I have decided to change myself in college that I'll join next week.
Nice work and organized. Good with the details and gathering her information for self-reflection. May or may not little social phobia and can still be norm. She’s still learn conflict resolution among associates that may or may not be be friends. However she does have her own personal friends. Great 👍.🙏🏽📖😇
I would probably slap anyone that answered all my issues with "So what would be so bad about that?" If she didn't think her feelings were bad she wouldn't need help. Thank goodness for really caring professional therapists!
It's an example of how not to do therapy I think. Or just learnt from a book with zero natural ability. Like the therapist had a career choice to make... Shall I do CBT or hairdressing.
CBT doesnt work with everyone, but some people get incredibly better with those techniques. And also, before doing the downward arrow, there has to be a therapeutic alliance formed between them. It helps to trust the therapist and understand that she is not there to diminish any feelings, but to confront thoughts, with the approval of the client
Thank you so much I find this so valuable to have examples to watch and I suppose inspiration for what the other side of getting through anxiety and negative thinking looks like 😍❤️
I also have this and I can tell you it is more difficult to live with and also very annoying.i can not move an inch right now cause I am so scared of another person's jugdement who might not even see me.that is as annoying as it can get
it's interesting to see a clinical psychologist's methodology in contrast to my training as a clinical mental health counselor grad student. Although we utilize CBT, we are taught a slightly different approach.
yes, Michael. I am a social work grad student and my prof have not discussed this approach (if this approached is even taught in my class). I am a bit curious now about this approach.
Michael Aranda Clinical Mental Health Counselor? I'm unfamiliar. Is that akin to a LCSW, PysD? No, I'm not in the field, just a longtime patient/client.
With social anxiety unfortunately it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. We scrutinize ourselves so much to the point where we judge every action, reaction, and thing we say. Undoubtedly this would make anyone feel tense and anxious. Our presentation and reaction to social situations will unfortunately isolate us. We then use that data that comes from our skewed thoughts to reaffirm as to why people will never like us. But this doesn't have to be the reality - we are not our thoughts and we don't need to prove them "true."
I love this session with Hannah, wouldn't it be better to have video of some fresh advice that was given to her in her social life especially in work now she knows she should be natural ?
@@gvillanueva5317 it got me to the point where i left every group i was in that was related to social anxiety because i no longer saw myself as someone who has it. i would recommend everyone to try it.
Great video, very useful for those of us still in training. Just wondering in real life do clients sometimes become resistant in response to downward arrowing technique?
Hi Nimra, everyone is different and not all clients will respond well to the downward technique. It's important to use an individualised approach when working therapeutically.
For me it would be very annoying, I can't even finish the video... :-( I guess CBT is my last chance, but it doesn't look appealing to me. Meaning I already know that what I think it's not OK, that I shouldn't care about other's opinions, I am also aware that nobody is actually looking at me and analyzing all my moves/words etc, because everyone is busy, mentally I know all this. But in real life, here I go again, in huge anxiety because I have to go at school later. I don't even have exams at the end of the class, I do want to study for myself, there's no life/future threatening, still I am so scared. No book or whatever I did didn't help me. I really really wonder if I should try CBT therapy even if sounds boring and annoying for me. I am sorry Judith, I don't judge your work, I am sure you're a good professional, it's me, it's not you :)
desigura dessi It’s not you, Dessi...It’s quite normal that you don’t feel attracted to some therapies. There is no ‘1 fit for all (the persons)’. It’s important that you have a therapist that gives you a good feeling, that feels safe. And it’s also important that you choose a style of therapy that fits to you. There are many other therapies that are also helpful against SAD. So... don’t blame yourself... Nobody is to blame here, I think... 😉
is it social anxiety when you can actually like, sometimes are able to interact with people and actually want to interact and talk to people but after every interaction it often still leaves you with this bitter feeling or a feeling like everyone judges you for everything you do, and you feel like you only do things in life because you don't want to be an embarrassment to anyone
I have nothing to talk about tho idk how to socialize... once I was with a friend of my I was comfortable with but she asked me to come sit with her friends for lunch and it was awkward af I didn’t say anything and she keep saying out loud.. “come on, socialize” and I could see her friend looking at me with this is very awkward and that made me feel worse
The origins of my social anxiety are an interesting one. I used to be very confident, extroverted, and charmismatic... there was this one girl and I who were talking, but we never came to date.. she walked out of my life and it hurt real bad.. I told myself I would never let myself feel this bad again, so decided it would be best to feel nothing at all.. I started obsessing with psychopathy and serial killers... I loved the idea of being free, of being able to be without emotional bonds and negative feelings... so I tried to turn myself into a sociopath.. the way I went about it wasn’t good though, I deliberately broke social norms and purposely interpreted everything as bad or negative( because I was hoping this would mimic the feelings of trauma)... I would stare at people and instead of fake laugh like I used to at their jokes, I would just stare straight faced....this made me feel so intensely negative and I did this long enough that I developed social anxiety... now this shit is real bad and im very angry
I have a similar story; I used to be the light of the room, people would tell me i'm good looking and have good sense of humor. After due to my health condition, my physical shape deteriorated, not only the physical pain but the emotional pain was worse. I stayed home ever since I developed that health problem to this day, so for 7 years I've been an emotionless person with no friends. I am 25 now, and looking to revive myself, but this fucked up brain so much, I've not mentally grown
I hate when people say they're nervous before a presentation and then just give a beautiful presentation. People with social anxiety know what being nervous is, for eg I cannot give a presentation without my legs and lips shaking, voice cracking, words fumbling etc. Thats what being nervous is.
I’ve been contemplating therapy for some months now after over 7 years of keeping things to myself. My only fear is breaking down ugly crying in my first session because I can’t even think about my issues without tearing up 😭
I found out that the root for my social anxiety (still working through it) began after being molested for 4 years and burying shame because of it....feeling ugly, not good enough and keeping things to hide for that long without telling anybody....eeekkkkkk
My social anxiety reached to the point where i don't even want to go out for work. I feel like i would get judged. I feel breathing problem when i face people. I feel lonely still I can't talked to people. I don't know how I'm going to heal. I don't know how i became like this. If you are reading this please pray for me. I don't want to live life like this way.
From the perspective of CBT, is it better to reach core belief and work on that or work on automatic and intermediate thought, when it comes to this case ?
I tried that therapy Unforgenetly when I worked it was horrible at times I would cry Now I don’t work it’s just scary And even talking to coworkers But the coworkers isn’t as bad I can small talk but the worse is customers especially in retail It drains me I applied for disability but got denied I can appeal but it’s so overwhelming especially if they don’t believe me again These feeling of generalized anxiety go back all the way since I was in elementary I was always considered shy but I did have friends but not to many
Whenever I see videos like this, the person always seems to be panicking about something trivial, and the things I panic about have much more serious consequences and have much more plausibility, so it is hard to take these videos seriously.
SAD is the only thing I struggle with and it's holding me back in every aspects of my life. I understand conquering this disorder will open many opportunities for me professionally, socially and romantically but it is so damn hard when you've been this way since you were 14 and now I'm 23. I just fear people's perception of me too much, I have a vision of the sort of man I would like to be with the rest of my time on this planet but getting to that point feels like climbing Mt Everest 10 times over. I just have to open up more yet it is such a hard thing to do because inside my mind I'm being tricked in to thinking the other person or people thinks I'm an idiot before I've even opened my mouth. I'm quite literally suffering inside my own head and I'm absolutely sick of it... I don't feel like an adult with this disorder and I don't want to say it's making me depressed but I fear if I don't make changes to this it will isolate me even more and that's when the real problems start.
I can talk for days with friends but when it comes to complete strangers and family i can never hold a convo i always end up just slowly removing myself from it. What can help this😣
It is a fantastic technique for sure. But sometimes people, in spite of having evidence against their perceived shortcomings, cannot overcome the anxiety. As if they are lacking in efficacy to overcome such perceptions and behavior. I wonder how can we help them build such efficacy.
Thank you for this useful video in fact It is very similar to my case .Can you advise me some books to rid off my social activity .In fact I went to a therapist and he promised to help me but after a month.I want to read some useful books to make confidence to fight against Social anxiety
Hi Fred, there are a number of books on CBT for social anxiety that you may find useful. I'd encourage you to go on amazon, read reviews and read samples. One popular one is: www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=CBT+social+anxiety
sorta leading questions. CBT is tough for me. Though I have found it helped with a bit of depression assisting in skirting about heavily negative thoughts.
I don’t feel stressed talking to people but the amount of extreme stress I feel starting a conversation is definitely not normal or just being introverted and I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Is this considered a form of social anxiety?
Quite the opposite happened when I did the exercise myself. I had evidence of the negative being true in the hundreds but didn't manage to find nearly enough evidence for the opposite. I felt 95/100 sure that that negative thing about me is true and now I feel 99/100 sure that it's true.
"What would be so bad about all that?" Because I already fucking hate myself and I'm sick of being viewed in a certain way and I'm fucking tired of rejection and having to constantly fucking try to calculate how everyone is going to react to something I do and then feeling like shit if someone says ONE thing that I take as a put down or any sort of negative response. Oh and I'm fucking sick of being lonely. I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN AS WEIRD. THAT'S WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT ALL THAT.
There are a few suggestions you can try Find the reasons why you suffer from shyness - the first step in solving a problem is understanding why it is there. Be comfortable with yourself - this makes it easier when you are with others. Just do it - you will gain confidence by doing things - especially by doing activities which stretch your limits. (I read these and more ideas from Sebs Shy Remedy site )
"huge"? Maybe in some cases a distinction without even much difference. We just got a more modern term for it. Unless you have some personal definition that marks out totally distinct territory for each term (which is not really found in the actual defnintions).
I don't know if I have social anxiety, I have none of the common symptoms I've seen discussed in several videos, and don't want to 'overcome it' or 'beat it' I can hold a conversation with just about anyone if I had to, I always keep the conversation about them. I can talk to strangers if I have to. I don't particularly care or mind what people think about me. I generally find people ok for short amounts of time, but I don't particularly enjoy social occasions with work, family or friends. On a general level I don't really like human beings and don't need company. After about an hour of being at a social function, I'm looking at my watch and for excuses to exit stage left. Why? Because I prefer being at home with the animals for company and doing my own thing. Love living alone, love being alone, as long as I am with animals. I'm not particularly anxious about being around people, I just don't like it. I can put an act on just to get me through an occasion and then can't wait to get out of there.
I agree there’s a distinction between wanting to be alone because you just don’t like being around ppl vs avoiding them due to anxiety. For me it’s both depending on the situation. I can talk to a stranger without a second thought. It’s just being the center of attention in a group where my brain goes completely whacky and my body reacts with all the typical symptoms. Like you I’d rather stay home with my pets and my husband than to attend a social function and stand around listening to small talk which bores me to death. Sit me down with someone who can carry on an intellectual or philosophical conversation and I’m in!
my anxiety problems started with my appearance, if I looked good, I would not have such strong anxiety. *this girl is beautiful. I don't want to look in the mirror. I don't want to live.*
the worst thing about social anxiety is that you know your fears are dumb but you can’t help it
While it's true that you can't help how you're going to feel you can work on accepting that it will happen (Your feelings, even if irrational) and once you accept that you can work through the consequences just how she did in the video. So, I have a lot of trouble being in public because I think people will look at me and think I'm weird. So what if they do? Is that going to have an impact on my life?
I dunno, I'm just now working on this method! :) Jeez, the two replies before mine look like bots rofl.
This is just superb, I have been researching "social anxiety coach" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (just google it )?
It is a good one off product for removing the root cause of social anxiety without the hard work. Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got amazing results with it.
Just wonderful, I've been looking for "there is no cure for social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (just google it )?
It is an awesome one off guide for removing the root cause of social anxiety minus the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my work buddy finally got great success with it.
This was great, I have been researching "tips to stop social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my partner got excellent success with it.
This was great, I been tryin to find out about "shyness anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
i commented on this page 3 years ago and to see my comment today really brough home how much i have overcame social anxiety over the last 3 years,i never thought i would get to this point but the only answer is to put yourself into situations that bring on the anxiety,if your mouth is trembling,hands sweating,you just have to push through it,if i can do it anyone can !!!!
Glad to know you have overcome it bro!
Wish you the very best in.life
@@rosce4069 and now? did you still have socialanxiety?
Thank you
Maybe you never had social anxiety in the first place Paul Parker, you normal person
NICEEEE
Social anxiety comes from a deeper source that causes it, perception and perspectives. Expectations of others or self. Self image, and self worth.
Have you overcome it? If so, how?
I relate to that girl so much, it made me cry
Social anxiety, I will overcome you. I swear it.
Bananaz For Pokémon good luck, you can do it! I have the same goal for myself :)
Bananaz For Pokémon same
Update? I'm still battling myself. I'll keep pushing.
(Update) I’m doing better. I try to use the anxiety to my advantage (getting ready to go out faster, etc). If I can’t, then I’ll do something to get it off my mind. Of course it still lingers, it always does, but now I’m starting to like going out. I try to do so at least once a month. It’s far from where I want to be, but I know I’m improving. How is everyone else doing?
@@lillianinspace Still struggling like hell. What are your thoughts on counseling?
There’s a lot of shame around anxiety. It’s not just that you will be alone at work it’s also that you’re ashamed that other people don’t care about you
I really struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder. It started when I was 18 at school, I became overwhelmed by humiliation and embarrassment. This caused a core belief to develop which was the fear of rejection and scrutiny of my perceived failures. This essentially creates a lack of confidence, or hopelessness. Prior to those years experiences like that were like a water of a ducks back. However, when the brain is exposed to fear the brain develops very strong distorted beliefs. The Amygdala part of the brain (Anxiety centre) has no sense of time, therefore it can feel you are stuck in time with your fears today. Similar actually to PTSD, you are reliving those experiences. So before I continue, go back to that event and try to see any distortions using CBT. Then after doing that, see where your generalisations are today, you might find you are repeating certain thought distortions like Emotional Reasoning and Mind Reading. Freaky!
To change your illness or neurosis, you have to change your core beliefs, which are only changed through repeated exposure to those fears you believe you cannot deal with. Like the fear of failure. I believe you can deal with them, you just need the right therapist to aid your self confidence in doing it. Think of it like a sport, the more you play the better you get. Or watching the 12 Monkeys with Brad Pitt. The more you watch it, the more you understand in it and your beliefs about the film or experience has changed.
Automatic thoughts are from your core beliefs ultimately. If CBT has failed you before, you are not alone. A therapist needs to tell you that in order to change a heavily ingrained anxiety disorder or depressive/personality disorder is to look for new evidence that your core belief is distorted. DBT can also be very good at slowing down and controlling your internal judgments. So when you are in the transition of changing your core beliefs, you can slow down and not react to the automatic negative thoughts. I really recommend that. This will give you a sense of self confidence which is really what has been lost, or never achieved.
The brains neuroplasticity will not change over night. Your brain will not believe the rational things you tell yourself when you create new experiences that may be true. This is so important to understand because this is why people give up. Have you Ever had CBT before experienced change then relapse. This is because your core belief is fragile and resilient to change. The brain will not give up sadly on your neurotic beliefs. If you stick with your own CBT and work hard you will change. If you find a very good CBT therapist who understands this, it will help you tremendously to move forwards and achieve new goals.
Another way at looking at changing your thoughts and beliefs when someone ever says you shouldn't be anxious over this or that, and they show you what your thinking is wrong. Then you know on an intellectual level its wrong, but you struggle with believing it. How could the human brain be so fallible! Only one reason why, that's because we are all fallible. So when you damn yourself because of your condition, learn not to you. This goes out to perfectionists. Sure, you can get one hundred percent on an arithmetic exam, but not forever on other exams. This would be God like, so when people troll me, or someone exceptionally talented like, "Lionel Messi" or for girls "Serena Williams" know that this unreasonable critic will fail and sadly will have developed a rotten attitude towards others failures. At school this is called a bully, they do not want to show their failures. If you can remain calm you might try to show them their own. If they become overwhelmed with anger or attack you then learn self-defence so you can show them their epic failure to attack you. Wow how humiliating!
The good news is that you can bring Social Anxiety back down to a manageable level. It would be perfectionistic of you to say I want to get rid off my anxiety. Mostly everyone has social anxiety at some point, however the difference is the core beliefs between the two extremes. One is at ease with themselves and remains in the social situation relatively unchecked. They believe they are confident with exposing their weaknesses, their failures. They know they are fallible and will make mistakes and others will scrutinise them. For them this is sometimes difficult to accept. Sometimes the scrutiny is correct, the difference? they will allow others to do that knowing they can always become better at something, while the latter will most likely be Personalising this. This is a thought distortion in social anxiety, it is when the fear suddenly becomes aroused and you become anxious, angry and very defensive. Something you will have to change, and you will. If you work on these core issues, you will be open to new relationships and be willing to show your true self under different circumstances. You may end up in a romantic relationship where you will handle conflict with ease, because your partner may be right about your failings. You will accept it and work on it. You will become better at that performance if you like. So good luck to all of you.
Two books I recommend: The Anxiety And Worry Workbook by David A.Clark, PHD. Arron T.Beck, MD. And 2nd Ed Mind Over Mood for Self-Help.
www.thebestbrainpossible.com/the-10-fundamentals-of-rewiring-your-brain/
"Initial changes are temporary.
Your brain first records the change, then determines whether it should make the change permanent or not. It only becomes permanent if your brain judges the experience to be fascinating or novel enough or if the behavioral outcome is important, good or bad."
barkerjonty Thank you for your insightful, detailed, and thorough explanation of the thought process of those with social anxiety. My SAD felt almost incurable but after reading your explanation it simplifies everything. Thanks for taking the time to post this!
I really appreciate the share of your knowledge. It calmed me a lot and gave me hope again to work on my social anxiety. I hope to get in contact with you for further talk if you want. Thanks
me too i need I want to get rid of it
Sorry but I’m not reading all that
@@r011ing_thunder6 you should fr it was helpful
social anxiety or anxiety in general is horrible,im 29 and its really held me back,isolated me,i live such a mundane life,i cant walk down the street in my local area incase i bump into someone.ive blocked my friends out over the last few years and stopped going to things but one thing i know for sure is that i will i overcome to an extent where i can deal with.watch this space
Cheers for this, I've been looking for "curing my social anxiety" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Telaavar Anxious Amanita - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some great things about it and my friend got great results with it.
ever want to hang out with someone not judgmental; drop myself a message and we can meetup.
This was great, I been tryin to find out about "anxiety before social events" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my colleague got cool success with it.
paul parker I'm 17 and I have it every time I go to school I get really nervous that people talk about me behind my bad so I get anxious and anxiety
It is so bad that I barely go to school
I went to the Doc but I don't like the medical medication I get
I don't know what to do about it!!!!
Can someone help?!
You gotta ask yourself what’re you actually scared of???
I didn't expect this video to make me feel nervous.
Lol
Emotions are contagious.
section 1
me too ! i even have anxiety when other ppl are in a social situation
This is glorious, I have been researching "social anxiety shyness" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qanwen Donuke Approach - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got cool results with it.
For me I feel like I burden my friends with constantly talking about feeling anxious or negative self talk that I don’t talk to them about how I’m feeling cuz I feel like they won’t like me if I’m constantly a negative person. That I’ll kill the party vibes. So I end up feeling alone with my issues which makes it worse.
Can anyone relate to the feeling of being isolated with your thoughts?
11219tt exactly how I feel rn. My best friend deals with a different type of anxiety then I do. She shares it with me and I listen. When she’s feeling down I don’t want to bring up what I’m going through too. When she is happy I don’t want to ruin that, so I don’t say anything. Let me say REAL FRIENDS care. Sit down and talk to them about it and they should have understanding. Go deep.
I feel very much the same. I dont want to bring everyone else down to my level of unhappiness so i battle on alone
@@TaKyraMoonlight i know exactly what you're talking about as this happens with my sister & i, because we are twins we both have social anxiety but we don't want to trigger each other with our issues but at the same time we have no close friends because we both have social anxiety but we understand each other so well, so it is hard to find that balance. i guess that is what therapy is for, i am hoping that we will each find a community to get support from soon. i have also been reading lots of helpful books and resources. we will overcome together!
This is how I feel, too.
Absolutely. One hundred percent. Every single damn word of what you said I can understand.
love this exercise. I gave it a go tonight following the same method and went from 80% of feeling i'm weird, make people uncomfortable and are annoying to feeling more around 35%.
I’m 27 now and social anxiety has absolutely held me back and was destructive since I was as young as I remember. I feel as if I’m maybe moving forward now as I’ve kicked a video game and almost a mad marijuana addiction I used to hide from social anxiety and recently started taking care of myself and being more mindful over the past 2 years. Just in the past few months I started challenging the fears as much as I could. I hope this is finally the direction towards healing and making it through this. it has affected my relationships with everybody including my daughter at times. Don’t stop moving forwards.
ohmgod you have a daughter,cannot believe that you have social anxiety.
for me,it is so difficult to get a girlfriend.so sad
@@feintmi3393 Lol same here and this is why I don't want to have kids. I just know that it'd affect their experiences in a bad way and they wouldn't have a normal upbringing.
... we can't all be amazing. I think ACCEPTING that we are crap with some things and aren't afraid to admit it helps :) social anxiety is all about protecting our ego. Once we accept what we struggle with and can see it face on it makes things easier.
True!!!
I would avoid using the same 'what would be so bad...' line of questioning for this technique. If you use this repeatedly it starts to give the impression you are minimising your clients suffering. Consider using phrasing such as 'if that were true, what would that say about you?' or 'what does that suggest?' or 'why does that bother you do you think?
Dude it’s such a brilliant way to let client to examine her own “evidences” at the end and found out BY HERSELF, which is a much more powerful way than the therapist telling her those are not valid evidences, that some of her evidences are not true or they are just coming from her but not how others think of her as a friend.
Im 20 i need to escape this its ruining my social life....Its started in my chilhood i was bullied from 4th grade all the way to 10thgrade...
Hey, I'm 20 too and I just had the feeling, I should write to you. This is really sad to hear, this time must have been terrible for you or maybe it still is, because those thoughts come back again and again. It's very strong that you are seeking for help and see, what effect it has on your life.
What I am sure of: You are made as a beautiful and awesome person, and a loved son of god. You are made for a purpose and I know for a fact that you are not all the bad things that people told you in your history. We all have character traits that people might not like, and then some take this as a reason to point out that you are "annoying", "embarrassing" or anything like that. And that is terrible. What it really does is that you start to believe the things they tell you about your worth.
Actually I just have one advice to you because I would never know what else would help as good as this. So many people I know have found their peace over anxieties in finding out how much worth Jesus sees in them. And I know that you are loveable, because he made you specifically. I really mean this and I have the feeling this can help you in finding out who you are and dealing with your anxiety.
God bless you, brother. :)
@@AstmaMinzbonbon I don't think believing the prophet Issa(jesus) a son of god or god him self will help in any thing but associating a man to Allah which is chirk and it's a sin that is unforgiveable in addition to his SAD that is crushing him and so I
I recommand you this statement to all the christians From the Imam Mahdi, khalifa of Allah, on earth Nasser Mohammad Al-Yemeni to the entire nation of Christian (supporters of the Messiah) among the worlds of the Arab and foreign, and peace be upon who followed the guidance of the worlds..
link to the statement www.nasser-yamani.com/showthread.php?23579-
and this statement untitled ..Donald Trump is an enemy to the original American people, and an enemy to all Muslim and Christian people and their Governments, and an enemy to human populations altogether except the human satans the extremest ones in satan’s party
www.nasser-yamani.com/showthread.php?29173-
Same here, I got bullied from like elementary till high school and apart from that was also getting abused at home. It’s no wonder I didn’t finish high school lmao. I have such crippling social anxiety I haven’t had a normal life in years. Spend most of my time here at home and barley go out. It’s exhausting. If I were you I’d look into complex ptsd because it sounds like you’re dealing with it just like me. I don’t think exposure therapy works for people like us at least not at first because our trauma messed us up physically as well as mentally. It’s hard to explain but when you read about complex ptsd you’ll hopefully understand more the impacts of trauma.
A good tip is abundance positive mentality ( fake it till you make it) try try and am sure you will overcome 🏅😊
I'm 23 and I have social anxiety. I feel like it's taken over my life. I don't make friends, I don't go out with people and.I'm not close to my family. when im around people my mind just goes blank and I literally start shaking and stuttering. I didn't have the hottest upbringing and I was bullied at home and in school. I really want to get help, but in a way it scares me to have to talk to a stranger about my fears and anxieties, but I have to do it anyway I can't live like this anymore.
Been feeling like this since 2nd grade. I’m a junior now. I feel like there’s no hope. I’ve built up this persona of the quiet/shy kid for years and even if I tried to break it all down it would be so hard
look into Pathwork - lectures on overcoming anxiety. its helping me significantly
I have been suffering from SAD for basically my entire life and have run out of (comfortable) options to cope. As of late, I have been considering going for CBT, but am worried about the process.
Recently, I had a great friend do this to me. It began when she offered me a food that I had never tried before, I declined her offer. She then began asking me questions, a few examples being:
"Why don't you want to eat it?"
"What is preventing you from trying it?"
"What are you afraid of if you were to eat it?"
She kept pressing me with such questions and I just began freaking out. I began sweating profusely, face went red, major heart palpitations/racing, adrenaline and of course, negative thoughts. It felt as if I was surrounded, backed into a corner with nowhere to escape. She went on and on until she could tell I was at maximum discomfort, then just stopped. During this time, I felt very offended, like she thought it was funny. As I came down from my panic, I began attempting to create small talk as if nothing had just happened. We chatted for maybe 10 minutes on and off, then she says, "You realize this was all over eating food, right?".
That's when it hit me. I always knew that I was being held back by anxiety, but not to such an extent. I could not believe that a food had just caused me that much emotional pain. I now wonder what else anxiety has had me miss throughout my life. I think I may give a therapist a call.
Google breathing techniques against anxiety, they are incredibly effective.
Well. You don't need to be worry about anything, because social anxiety you must overcome by therapists sir! You need to free your mind. Think more positive about what you have done. Make sure you are with people you feel comfortable with, people who care for you, laugh with you, respect you. Please go to get help you need.
I don't think this works for me atleast ...bcoz when im around someone i know i don't even feel like i have a social anxiety but when that person is not with me then it becomes really hard for me to even face a stranger....
@@serengeti8886 Does it happen to you to feel angry at you feel comfortable with who knows your have SAD when he is asking you things while you're anxious in a public place
but you don't when it's someone ignoring that you have the SAD and just suffering silently
In the end you feel like a hypocrit reacting politely (fear) with the ones ignoring your SAD and complaining with the closest to you
I know it's a bit weird anyway it always was
@@serengeti8886 I would if too, I dislike my social anxiety alot, I've stopped having friendships and relationships in the past because I thought I not was not good enough.
I’ve always felt like I have SAD but then I hear other ppls stories and I feel almost selfish because I don’t have panic attacks.
I freak out at the thought of talking to someone especially strangers , my immediate thought is that there going to look at me and think wow what a weirdo .I think about first impressions and that how in the first 30s of talking to someone they then make a judgement of what kind of person you are so it’s just easier to hide away .
Every stranger I see I immediately see them as hostile and try to move away , I think this may be linked to being bullied all through school .
The strange thing is I’ve fought so hard to avoid being around people I’ve found that the safest thing for me is to stay inside and shut the curtains , this makes me feel safe and now part of me doesn’t want to get help because I’ve found away to cope and I’m scared to get help .
Is this social anxiety disorder ?
I'm aware you've posted this 6 months ago, but I still would like to say this to you.
I also don't have panic attacks but I have been diagnosed with SAD. I experience the same as you, and it's gravely affecting my daily life. I don't like shopping for example. I'm too afraid to even pick out a piece of clothing out of the racks, scared that others will think that I've a bad taste in style. I'm also afraid to pay for it. What if I do something wrong? What will they think? That I'm stupid because I can't even manage to do something so simple as using my card to pay? Or that I move my hands in an awkward manner? It's these small things that are really hard for me. I also feel that I'm safest in my home, in my room, alone. Though, because of that I risk social isolation, which isn't good and avoiding the things you're afraid of will make you even more afraid next time, until you're too scared to even step a foot outside.
SAD can improve greatly through therapy (CBT), so there's no reason to let it go so far as having your life ruined because of SAD. I advice you to seek help if you feel it's affecting your life too much. Please don't be scared, and definitely don't feel selfish. It's about how YOU feel. There'll always be someone who has it worse, that doesn't mean that your case isn't important and doesn't need help. You are just as important.
@@EmmaVZ every word of this is exactly how i feel. I always think I'm just faking SAD as an excuse because I don't get panic attacks, but i AM going through every other thing socially anxious people go through. I just don't know who and what to believe.
Wow, this made me tear up, it made me nervous and just.. very emotional. Diagnosed with social anxiety most of my life. It has been 4 years since I left my therapist, she left a bad taste in my mouth because she didn't keep things confidential that she promised to. Recently though, I have been considering trying another. It scares the hell outta me to talk to someone but I have been only getting worse and feel I need to push out of my safe zone. I have heard wonderful things about CBT and, this video helps understand what I will be getting into & makes me a bit less anxious..
I am just so bad at opening up, It will take time to trust a new therapist...
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with a therapist! i know it's hard because the other therapist was not confidential, but I definitely recommend finding another therapist. Before you start therapy, just be sure to look at the confidentiality agreement before signing any papers. If you're therapist doesn't abide by the agreement, he/she could get in a lot of legal trouble.
I’ve had social anxiety for most of my life but it was quite mild when I was younger and over the years it’s gotten worse and now even the thought of doing something like speaking in front of people sends me into a mini panic attack and it makes me scared for the future because I am unable to feel ok existing around people without feeling judged. I can’t live like this forever but I’m so scared to do certain things that I’d truly rather die. My family always says to take hold of my fears but I don’t think they truly know how hard it is for me to try and do that since if it were that easy I would have overcome it by now. I am also worried to seek professional support in fear of opening up about how I feel but I hope that one day in the future it won’t be as bad as well as the other many people who suffer.
Try behavioral therapy sessions with a good specialist and you will see amazing results
Don't be afraid to share it with ur doctor at least,me as a patient of SAD also suffering from this btw
Anybody that comes to this video and has Social Anxiety, like me..i feel like we should start a group chat or something so that we have others like us to talk to since, we will all understand each-other....This shit is lonely and depressing.
I’m with you, what is your Instagram?
Everyone joins the group chat and it's just silent because everyone is too afraid to speak lol
@@JoseGomez-bp1xn @makyaaxx :)
A facebook group
You should join a social anxiety group in Facebook! I’m in one and it’s helped a lot.
Video: "I have close friends"
Me: Aight im out
I don't have any lol. I have my cousin who suddenly has befriend me. And a on off male friend. That's it. I already know I need to mingle more.
I have friend (wellwisher)
But sooner they gonna turned to hater
Gonna hate me vuz i have no guts to do rightthing or just i dont have capablity to standup for my friends
Forget about friend even dont have gut to standup for my mum 😠😠
Wtf am i
Its like u live long n became villian
N i dont wanna be villain😠😠
N whenever i wanna develop my social skils one n only thing stops me what they gonna say what they gonna do
Oh lord fuckin hard
Right? “I’m close with my family”. Nope lol
I've been dealing with social anxiety since I started high school. I always feel like people will ignore me or judge me, since most people are fake in high school. I'm still struggling with it and I'm in college, I want to give my truthful opinion on things, but for some reason I get nervous and scared when that happens and I always get left behind. I want to change but it's really hard. I understand what that girl feels and says. I want to talk again, I want to enjoy my life again, I want people to know me and not know me as the quiet kid who is serious and strange. Thinking too much before talking and being socially anxious has negatively impacted my life. I'm meeting a counselor now and I'm getting better. Anyone that struggles with this , I hope you overcome it becuase it's difficult even as a young adult like me knows this is difficult. Good luck and take care guys and let's defeat our social anxiety.
Bro , it's feel like you and me same person 😢😢
I am studying to be a school counselor and I absolutely love your use of Socratic questioning to help the client. This is helping me a lot! It also seems if you’re using a person centered approach; integrating the two. Person centered bc i definitely see the empathy.
Really? I don’t see a lot of signs of the person centered therapy. It’s one of the therapies I graduated at. With person centered therapy, we go much more into the deep, we stay with the difficult emotion, experiences, we give a lot of empathy then. We also go to the bodily sensations etc. In some sorts of person centered therapy, we work with chair dialogues that do the same. We try to switch the non adaptive emotions to adaptive emotions, by bringing people and let people go to the adaptive emotions. It’s much, much more about feeling...
Thank you for this video! It might help me to overcome my fear and dislike of therapists, I've been skipping my sessions for a while now, and watching videos like this might help me realize it's actually not that scary and can be helpful C:
Also thanks to the patients, and this nice lady in particular, I imagine it might have been hard to speak about your personal matters on camera and having it watched by thousands :)
Hi Martha, thank you for your feedback, I'm glad you found the video useful. The client in the piece is played by an actor.
@@JudithJohnsonphd after knowing its actor now i feel more social anxiety. I thought it was real person who was suffering like us. U broke our hearts 😭💔💔💔
Lots of students at college had this problem but they were proud of it. They were pre-med and engineering students. It worked out great for them.
Welp, this made me fear going to a therapist even more than before.
I’ve been to therapy a couple times and I love it! My therapist was nothing like this
same🏃♀️🏃♀️
I talked to my school counselor for the first time and it was an awful experience for me. She was a really good councilor, it was just me. It’s super hard to talk to people I don’t know. I cannot imagine myself going to a therapist to talking about my mental issues and not my grades.
@@lem8540 Well it may not have helped that the therapist was from the school, as we see from this example school can be a stressor and you may have difficulty opening up there.
Try a therapist far away and see if that helps, some therapists wont suit you either. Now i know a therapist wont discuss your case with anybody but it may just be easier to open up.
@@antseanbheanbocht4993 Well she wasn’t an actual therapist. She’s the school counselor. She’s there to assist everyone with their academics and will help figure something out if your grades are low. They’ll also talk to you about minor emotion or social problems if you need to. My Doctor also says to not go to a school counselor and go to an actual therapist instead. But just based off that experience I’m really nervous because therapy is gonna be a lot more personal.
I love Hannah! Shes someone I'd love to be friends with, she's so calm and kind. Sounds like her coworkers are just not in her vibe. I never hung out with my coworkers either. It's like, you don't choose your coworkers, so it's understandable if you don't mesh.
Sometimes you think you are so weird that it seems no one can match your vibes.
As someone who doesn't actually have friends, this video was painful to watch and discouraged me from seeking counseling...I feel like it would just confirm what I am afraid of. Which, yes, I realize is probably even more of a reason to speak to someone to understand why I can't keep friendships, but the fear of having to confront that maybe I really am not worth a damn, is more than I can bear at the moment. I'll keep my head in the sand for now, thank you.
I just wanted to say I also felt uncomfortable watching this as due to my anxiety I've never been able to keep friends and I have shrunk away even from family relationships in my life, so I didn't really relate to the girl in the video. However I have gone to counselling and therapy and can absolutely recommend it. It can be a challenging process but they are there to support you throughout these painful realisations in a way that will ultimately help you see beyond them and take small steps towards where you want to be. You deserve to find inner peace. I wish you the best of luck.
It is discouraging but all it takes is the right therapist/shrink. The right one is more equipped to understand your situation than just a random person you know from work or from a random encounter.
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
Come to india
@@sushamapradeep3311 I hope to be so fortunate one day. 💚❤
Nothing's as bad as being asked these preloaded questions.
Can you elaborate on that?
@@Avo7977 isn't it obvious? It's unbearable to hear the 'what would be so bad' asked again and again. It's ridiculous. No one would come back to session 2. Can you acknowledge that?
@@BuddhaofBlackpool It is, and I can. I just wanted confirmation.
@@BuddhaofBlackpool how is she even answering those questions? like my social anxiety is so fucking bad that in that moment i will just sit still
Z z
- [0:38] 😔 Difficulty making friends at work and feeling excluded is a significant worry.
- [1:48] 🧠 Negative belief of not being worth being friends with stems from experiences at school.
- [3:30] 🤝 Despite negative belief, close relationships with family and friends contradict it.
- [4:47] 🤔 Thought challenging exercise highlights evidence against negative belief.
- [6:04] 🎉 Willingness to organize events and prioritize friends' needs indicates being a good friend.
- [8:33] 💭 Realization that choice plays a role in social interactions shifts perspective on worthiness.
I personally felt this approach; one question after another, was rather like an interrogation. I understand this is a model. and one that is probably used differently in reality. But for me, this session seemed rushed, with rash judgements being made, without really listening to what was being said!
Great video!! might help a lot of people struggling with SAD. Thanks ma'am for letting people know how simple and powerful CBT is.
good luck to all :) peace!!
Thank you Dr.Judith for uploading such a video, really useful
What would be so bad about spending 6 years in university and learning absolutely nothing?
What?
What would be so bad about living your whole life only caring about yourself and then dying alone?
@@ulvessens5902 😂😂😂
"And what would be so bad about being decapitated?"
WELL I DON'T KNOW TRY TO GUESS
That is so funny! But, I know what she was getting at. Maybe alternatively she could say what would be the WORST case scenario and take that worst case scenario and frame it against something truly horrific like gruesome physical violence or starvation or public humiliation, being placed in stocks or something. ha ha. Just being alone while working doesn't sound like such a catastrophe then. The thing is, you can't hang with the cool kids at the bar if you aren't being outspoken and truthful. Saying the dumb thing and then being able to laugh at yourself and enjoy life is the ultimate goal. Protecting herself is keeping her from the group activities and it sounds like she might be invited but doesn't go. Friends like this client (hopefully actress) are so valuable. It doesn't take long to figure out someone's value once they are willing to show you who they are. If this is a real client, it's a really valuable demonstration. It reminds me of Gloria in "Three Psychotherapies." If you've never seen it, try to find and watch! It's terrific and shows some of the grandfathers of phsychotherapy.
I feel for this girl. I think every single one of us in these comments would be her friend. She seems like a very sweet person and like she’d be a great friend. 💜
I did this...It did help in that i learned how to challenge my thoughts...But I did not find that the out of 10 or 100 hundered questions could help me connect....I think that anxiety is all
in the moment and that in that moment then it feels off the charts....But when you have time to think and understand then you underestimate that number because you know that it is a very irrational feeling.There should also be an understanding of how ingrained these thoughts can become over a length of time.I had this and I did not get help for more than 20 years because i did not know what it was...It leads to depression ,Perfectionism and so many other problems.I would dwell on bad memories and drag them up to crush myself,it was like i could not bear to feel happy.I still do this from time to time but finding somebody to to trust or talk to really does help.
Fantastic acting! Two great actresses!
lol
Right. C'mon gimme someone real ma'am
Judith if you don't mind that I address you by your first name. I've just made a giant leap towards overcoming social anxiety - I subbed a psych channel! In all seriousness however, I've been in psychotherapy for twenty years due to anxiety disorders. This is the best application of CBT I've ever seen. I've found it to be so ineffective that I've been quite resistant to it for many years. This video has compelled me to "give it another go". On a separate, completely inconsequential note - Manchester UK? I'm across the pond.
Just like Paul Parker from the comments, I hereby declare I'm going to overcome my S.A.D. I will bookmark this video and hopefully comment on it in a few years with a positive result. Cheers.
It's been around a year and a half I think, it's gotten much better in some aspects, but still got a long way to go. The good thing is I'm going through a major life change currently, and hopefully it's gonna make it easier to overcome it.
@@DrDoctopuskeep on trying mate! I’ve just started my journey a week ago.
Not everybody has negative beliefs. What if they really have a communication problem.
Then you look at the negative beliefs that your bad communication skills provides you and you deconstruct them the same way
Ive learnt that everything is 100% your own thoughts and feelings. No matter what situation youre in there is 0 need to experience any social anxiety at all. The only time fear is important is when your life is in danger to activate flight response & adreneline which could save your life. People with the worst disabilities imaginable have still managed to make friends and do great things with their lives. The trick is believing in yourself and always focusing on the positives in life. Easier said than done I know, but that is the answer.
Im glad this was posted. I can relate to this a lot and this exercise in the video actually helped a lot!
I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Though, it started out very severely when I was younger, something called selective mutism. Which is a very severe form of social anxiety where children (usually younger) ‘decide’ not to speak to anyone. Or at least that’s what some people think. Though, to me it was more like I was physically completely incapable of doing so. No matter how hard I tried, not a single word would come out my mouth. I wouldn’t speak to teachers, friends, my grandparents and even my close immediate family (that I lived with) at one point. But it got bette. I slowly started to talk to more and more people. Now here I am. 16 years old. In my last year of secondary school. No longer classed as having ‘selective’ mutism. (Which I’m proud of myself for, because I’ve come a long way.) But I am still struggling with social anxiety in general. I can’t put my hand up in class. If attention is drawn to me, my face my burn up and turn right red which only makes me feel even MORE embarrassed. I avoid certain people and teachers so I don’t have to talk to them. I have very few friends. I’m afraid to participate in after school activities or during class etc. For example, everyone thinks that I’m just lazy because I never put effort into PE lessons, they pick on me. Call me lazy, boring, can’t be bothered etc. But the truth is that I just can’t put effort in because I’m so SO afraid of people judging me and pointing me out or congratulating me for doing well or for just being good at something. It would make me feel stupid. And I KNOW it’s insane. Trust me, I do. But it’s how my brain works and I can’t help it. You’d think that I’d think I get more attention drawn to me by not putting in effort and being ‘lazy’ but I think otherwise. And I can’t explain why. Maybe that’s a deeper issue, who knows. But another thing is I can’t even eat in front of people. I find it so difficult to actually eat or drink in front of someone. Because, what if I drop a bit of my sandwich or something is round my mouth or I accidentally choke on my food etc etc etc, in my brain, people are staring at me and judging me and just waiting for me to slip up in some way and when I do I’ll get laughed at and I’ll be humiliated for life. I can’t even discuss what I’ve eaten the day before or recently etc because I’m afraid that someone will judge me and think I’m unhealthy and call me fat and spread things about me. I remember this one time my friend invited me round her house for dinner and she wanted me to get on her school bus (I don’t usually get on buses) to her house with her and have dinner there with her. But I couldn’t. Because I was scared that I would have to socialise with people on the bus from my school that I don’t usually talk to. And that when I had dinner at her house, everyone would stare and I couldn’t handle eating in front of her (back then it was so bad that I would eat lunch at school, I would have to starve because I was so afraid of being judged, things are a little better now.) and then I thought that I could just not eat what she gives me but then I’d look like I’m ungrateful and spoilt and then it would be her mum that’s judging em instead. Do I just didn’t go and missed out on a fun opportunity because of it. I don’t even have the confidence to ask my mum if I can go to real CBT in real life. Which is why I’m here.Social anxiety stops me from living my life. Doing what I want to do. And I’m trying everything I can to make it stop and take back control. Because I would give absolutely ANYTHING to make that happen. And you should too. This is my story that I just wanted to share. It was more for me than anything. Just to go through everything with my self and try to sort things out in my head, if you get what I’m trying to say. But I’m hoping maybe other people can relate and know that their not alone and we just have to help each other get through this. If you read all this, you deserve an award 😂 . Keep trying. Never give up because remember, you’ve improved before, so you can do it again and again and again.
S I feel the same way
S read the whole thing and i relate so much
I had lived with the same feeling, now its affacting alot. What is the solution of it.
I relate to what you are saying...I hope your doing Well and singing like a bird. You are Worthy.
You are exactly like me. I was even scared to write comments on TH-cam because of the judgement. But I have decided to change myself in college that I'll join next week.
Thanks for letting us see the process, Hannah. From one S.A.D. person to another, I hope you’re doing okay.
she's an actress
@@sinanklc468 a bad one lol, it was obvious
Nice work and organized. Good with the details and gathering her information for self-reflection. May or may not little social phobia and can still be norm. She’s still learn conflict resolution among associates that may or may not be be friends. However she does have her own personal friends. Great 👍.🙏🏽📖😇
I started to cry when the therapist handed the list to her. She is a nice person, hope she will find more confidence in her.
That is an actor. :)
@@Hinarushi I noticed
😂
Thank you for posting this I was like this is me. Got me tearing up thank you
I would probably slap anyone that answered all my issues with "So what would be so bad about that?" If she didn't think her feelings were bad she wouldn't need help. Thank goodness for really caring professional therapists!
It's an example of how not to do therapy I think. Or just learnt from a book with zero natural ability. Like the therapist had a career choice to make... Shall I do CBT or hairdressing.
CBT doesnt work with everyone, but some people get incredibly better with those techniques. And also, before doing the downward arrow, there has to be a therapeutic alliance formed between them. It helps to trust the therapist and understand that she is not there to diminish any feelings, but to confront thoughts, with the approval of the client
i have never wanted to give someone a hug more ever
wow! such and amazing and affirming series of videos! thank you so much for doing this!
Thank you so much I find this so valuable to have examples to watch and I suppose inspiration for what the other side of getting through anxiety and negative thinking looks like 😍❤️
6:39 - "Is there anything that you DO that you WOULDN'T DO if you WEREN'T a good friend?"
I also have this and I can tell you it is more difficult to live with and also very annoying.i can not move an inch right now cause I am so scared of another person's jugdement who might not even see me.that is as annoying as it can get
it's interesting to see a clinical psychologist's methodology in contrast to my training as a clinical mental health counselor grad student. Although we utilize CBT, we are taught a slightly different approach.
I'm glad you found the video interesting Michael.
yes, Michael. I am a social work grad student and my prof have not discussed this approach (if this approached is even taught in my class). I am a bit curious now about this approach.
Michael Aranda Clinical Mental Health Counselor? I'm unfamiliar. Is that akin to a LCSW, PysD? No, I'm not in the field, just a longtime patient/client.
Thank god.
With social anxiety unfortunately it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. We scrutinize ourselves so much to the point where we judge every action, reaction, and thing we say. Undoubtedly this would make anyone feel tense and anxious. Our presentation and reaction to social situations will unfortunately isolate us. We then use that data that comes from our skewed thoughts to reaffirm as to why people will never like us. But this doesn't have to be the reality - we are not our thoughts and we don't need to prove them "true."
Man, I so relate with this woman. I feel exactly the same way she does.
I love this session with Hannah, wouldn't it be better to have video of some fresh advice that was given to her in her social life especially in work now she knows she should be natural ?
Damn, there is no mystery about what the next question will be.
By using methods like this one i was able to cure society anxiety
Did you now
@@gvillanueva5317 it got me to the point where i left every group i was in that was related to social anxiety because i no longer saw myself as someone who has it.
i would recommend everyone to try it.
Great video, very useful for those of us still in training. Just wondering in real life do clients sometimes become resistant in response to downward arrowing technique?
Hi Nimra, everyone is different and not all clients will respond well to the downward technique. It's important to use an individualised approach when working therapeutically.
For me it would be very annoying, I can't even finish the video... :-( I guess CBT is my last chance, but it doesn't look appealing to me. Meaning I already know that what I think it's not OK, that I shouldn't care about other's opinions, I am also aware that nobody is actually looking at me and analyzing all my moves/words etc, because everyone is busy, mentally I know all this. But in real life, here I go again, in huge anxiety because I have to go at school later. I don't even have exams at the end of the class, I do want to study for myself, there's no life/future threatening, still I am so scared. No book or whatever I did didn't help me. I really really wonder if I should try CBT therapy even if sounds boring and annoying for me. I am sorry Judith, I don't judge your work, I am sure you're a good professional, it's me, it's not you :)
desigura dessi It’s not you, Dessi...It’s quite normal that you don’t feel attracted to some therapies. There is no ‘1 fit for all (the persons)’. It’s important that you have a therapist that gives you a good feeling, that feels safe. And it’s also important that you choose a style of therapy that fits to you. There are many other therapies that are also helpful against SAD. So... don’t blame yourself... Nobody is to blame here, I think... 😉
thank you so much for this master class!
This video is precious. This girl is precious.
is it social anxiety when you can actually like, sometimes are able to interact with people and actually want to interact and talk to people but after every interaction it often still leaves you with this bitter feeling or a feeling like everyone judges you for everything you do, and you feel like you only do things in life because you don't want to be an embarrassment to anyone
It's like i'm sitting there myself, all sounds very familiar to my situation.
man me and this girl resonate on the same situations. insane
I have nothing to talk about tho idk how to socialize... once I was with a friend of my I was comfortable with but she asked me to come sit with her friends for lunch and it was awkward af I didn’t say anything and she keep saying out loud.. “come on, socialize” and I could see her friend looking at me with this is very awkward and that made me feel worse
I was able to overcome my social anxiety by starting a TH-cam channel about my journey in personal development
social anxiety ruined most of my life but I still fight
The origins of my social anxiety are an interesting one. I used to be very confident, extroverted, and charmismatic... there was this one girl and I who were talking, but we never came to date.. she walked out of my life and it hurt real bad.. I told myself I would never let myself feel this bad again, so decided it would be best to feel nothing at all.. I started obsessing with psychopathy and serial killers... I loved the idea of being free, of being able to be without emotional bonds and negative feelings... so I tried to turn myself into a sociopath.. the way I went about it wasn’t good though, I deliberately broke social norms and purposely interpreted everything as bad or negative( because I was hoping this would mimic the feelings of trauma)... I would stare at people and instead of fake laugh like I used to at their jokes, I would just stare straight faced....this made me feel so intensely negative and I did this long enough that I developed social anxiety... now this shit is real bad and im very angry
I have a similar story; I used to be the light of the room, people would tell me i'm good looking and have good sense of humor. After due to my health condition, my physical shape deteriorated, not only the physical pain but the emotional pain was worse. I stayed home ever since I developed that health problem to this day, so for 7 years I've been an emotionless person with no friends. I am 25 now, and looking to revive myself, but this fucked up brain so much, I've not mentally grown
I hate when people say they're nervous before a presentation and then just give a beautiful presentation. People with social anxiety know what being nervous is, for eg I cannot give a presentation without my legs and lips shaking, voice cracking, words fumbling etc. Thats what being nervous is.
Same. I go red, my mouth trembles and I just look plain nervous, but then I am a naturally nervous person anyway. Deep down I hate people.
I have genralized anxiety I never know what I'm thinking so how do I change thoughts when I don't know what I am thinking.
Hi Thibault, I'm afraid I can't offer advice/therapy online, sorry about this.
+Judith Johnson whats ur kik
research dissociation, may or may not apply to you
Social phobia is an extremely debilitating condition. People with social anxiety disorder /panic disorder have a very tragic life. Help them
I’ve been contemplating therapy for some months now after over 7 years of keeping things to myself. My only fear is breaking down ugly crying in my first session because I can’t even think about my issues without tearing up 😭
I found out that the root for my social anxiety (still working through it) began after being molested for 4 years and burying shame because of it....feeling ugly, not good enough and keeping things to hide for that long without telling anybody....eeekkkkkk
My social anxiety reached to the point where i don't even want to go out for work. I feel like i would get judged. I feel breathing problem when i face people. I feel lonely still I can't talked to people. I don't know how I'm going to heal. I don't know how i became like this. If you are reading this please pray for me. I don't want to live life like this way.
Same here! May god give me and you the strength 🙏🏻
From the perspective of CBT, is it better to reach core belief and work on that or work on automatic and intermediate thought, when it comes to this case ?
I tried that therapy
Unforgenetly when I worked it was horrible at times I would cry
Now I don’t work it’s just scary
And even talking to coworkers
But the coworkers isn’t as bad I can small talk but the worse is customers especially in retail
It drains me
I applied for disability but got denied I can appeal but it’s so overwhelming especially if they don’t believe me again
These feeling of generalized anxiety go back all the way since I was in elementary
I was always considered shy but I did have friends but not to many
Whenever I see videos like this, the person always seems to be panicking about something trivial, and the things I panic about have much more serious consequences and have much more plausibility, so it is hard to take these videos seriously.
SAD is the only thing I struggle with and it's holding me back in every aspects of my life. I understand conquering this disorder will open many opportunities for me professionally, socially and romantically but it is so damn hard when you've been this way since you were 14 and now I'm 23. I just fear people's perception of me too much, I have a vision of the sort of man I would like to be with the rest of my time on this planet but getting to that point feels like climbing Mt Everest 10 times over. I just have to open up more yet it is such a hard thing to do because inside my mind I'm being tricked in to thinking the other person or people thinks I'm an idiot before I've even opened my mouth. I'm quite literally suffering inside my own head and I'm absolutely sick of it... I don't feel like an adult with this disorder and I don't want to say it's making me depressed but I fear if I don't make changes to this it will isolate me even more and that's when the real problems start.
Are all CBT sessions like this?? If so I don't want to go. To many questions would make me feel like walking out and running home with serve anxiety 😭
Honey I hope you feel better
People with social anxiety can understand that the client in this video is socially anxious during the course
I can talk for days with friends but when it comes to complete strangers and family i can never hold a convo i always end up just slowly removing myself from it. What can help this😣
Question? what if her work mates does not really like her? And what is she thinking about them is actually true?
It is a fantastic technique for sure. But sometimes people, in spite of having evidence against their perceived shortcomings, cannot overcome the anxiety. As if they are lacking in efficacy to overcome such perceptions and behavior. I wonder how can we help them build such efficacy.
Thank you for this useful video in fact It is very similar to my case .Can you advise me some books to rid off my social activity .In fact I went to a therapist and he promised to help me but after a month.I want to read some useful books to make confidence to fight against Social anxiety
Hi Fred, there are a number of books on CBT for social anxiety that you may find useful. I'd encourage you to go on amazon, read reviews and read samples. One popular one is: www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=CBT+social+anxiety
sorta leading questions. CBT is tough for me. Though I have found it helped with a bit of depression assisting in skirting about heavily negative thoughts.
I don’t feel stressed talking to people but the amount of extreme stress I feel starting a conversation is definitely not normal or just being introverted and I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Is this considered a form of social anxiety?
I’m a dj that stopped going out and stopped dating because I was scared and now starting to challenge my social anxiety
Quite the opposite happened when I did the exercise myself. I had evidence of the negative being true in the hundreds but didn't manage to find nearly enough evidence for the opposite. I felt 95/100 sure that that negative thing about me is true and now I feel 99/100 sure that it's true.
"What would be so bad about all that?"
Because I already fucking hate myself and I'm sick of being viewed in a certain way and I'm fucking tired of rejection and having to constantly fucking try to calculate how everyone is going to react to something I do and then feeling like shit if someone says ONE thing that I take as a put down or any sort of negative response. Oh and I'm fucking sick of being lonely. I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN AS WEIRD.
THAT'S WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT ALL THAT.
"some of" is written twice in a row during the intro, sorry I couldn't let that slip :)
0:25
Oops!
There are a few suggestions you can try
Find the reasons why you suffer from shyness - the first step in solving a problem is understanding why it is there.
Be comfortable with yourself - this makes it easier when you are with others.
Just do it - you will gain confidence by doing things - especially by doing activities which stretch your limits.
(I read these and more ideas from Sebs Shy Remedy site )
It's not shyness it's social anxiety....huge difference.
"huge"? Maybe in some cases a distinction without even much difference. We just got a more modern term for it. Unless you have some personal definition that marks out totally distinct territory for each term (which is not really found in the actual defnintions).
I don't know if I have social anxiety, I have none of the common symptoms I've seen discussed in several videos, and don't want to 'overcome it' or 'beat it'
I can hold a conversation with just about anyone if I had to, I always keep the conversation about them. I can talk to strangers if I have to. I don't particularly care or mind what people think about me. I generally find people ok for short amounts of time, but I don't particularly enjoy social occasions with work, family or friends. On a general level I don't really like human beings and don't need company. After about an hour of being at a social function, I'm looking at my watch and for excuses to exit stage left. Why? Because I prefer being at home with the animals for company and doing my own thing. Love living alone, love being alone, as long as I am with animals. I'm not particularly anxious about being around people, I just don't like it. I can put an act on just to get me through an occasion and then can't wait to get out of there.
I agree there’s a distinction between wanting to be alone because you just don’t like being around ppl vs avoiding them due to anxiety. For me it’s both depending on the situation. I can talk to a stranger without a second thought. It’s just being the center of attention in a group where my brain goes completely whacky and my body reacts with all the typical symptoms. Like you I’d rather stay home with my pets and my husband than to attend a social function and stand around listening to small talk which bores me to death. Sit me down with someone who can carry on an intellectual or philosophical conversation and I’m in!
Do people still use cognitive therapy for social anxiety? It sounds like exposure and general behavioral techniques or what are used.
There is a very strong evidence base for the use of CBT with social anxiety
Excellent example of laddering
I'm just now realizing I'm relating to way too much of this and I understand evrything she says without any deeper explaining
Honestly cant tell if the patient is acting or not.. Because i have the similar body language and behavior. Its like looking at myself.
You must find a way to get out from this situation
my anxiety problems started with my appearance, if I looked good, I would not have such strong anxiety. *this girl is beautiful. I don't want to look in the mirror. I don't want to live.*
unless you are deformed, it's all in your head, you aren't ugly
@@CreepyMemes some people are born ugly and even bullied, why didn't you know this until now
Praticamente deixo de trabalhar, realizar meus sonhos por essa quebra social, fico muito nervosa quando sou o centro das atenções e, evito empregos.