I moved from Chicago to Accra in 2018-with my children. 5yr anniversary loading-all the naysayers can’t even talk to me anymore. I went through hell with my family in the process and sometimes it feels like I’m in another Universe. But I am here, and my children are thriving.
I watched an interview maybe month or less ago with young joc on vlad. i hav made respect for this man afterwards. it made me believe that we r not stuck but at a crossroad. No one is willing to give up their current lifestyle. we play checkers & theyr playn chess.
Ain't nothing wrong with hiring a housecleaner! I have one in the US and I will eat rice and beans all month before I give that up. When we were in Mexico we had a housecleaner, laundry lady, and personal trainer. It's common in other countries to hire help! Folx just want black women to be tired! Hiring help is a game changer.
Many times, gaslighting is used on black women to keep us in danger. I would like to retire abroad because it is safer. But I don't share that information too often or with everyone. Move in silence. Love your channel. Thank you.
OMG! This video is so refreshing ✨️ Yes, I hate it when people gaslight or try to project their own fears onto to me---especially when it comes to following MY dreams. From this day forward, I am no longer taking gaslighting comments seriously. Gratitude & thanks Stephanie!
Yes! I also noticed it's mostly other black women that project their issues and insecurites onto other black women. It's like a crabs in a barrel syndrome.
EXACTLY Sister. I been through HELL and back recently the death of my daughter 💕🙏🏾💕. Damn TIRED of everyone and their hating minds. This is MY TIME now. Love me some Costa Rica, Jamaica and Mexico... exploring others as well.
Sorry. Spirit does not die. The death of my sister in 2018 was heart shattering. But, the heart mends- slowly. Joy does return. Please honor your sister by living your best life- now. May the peace of GOD overshadow you, my sister. Go find your peace. Planning on relocating to Mexico early 2023. May see you there!!! T
@@twalker2645 I'm sorry for your precious loss,💛. Thank you for your positive words. Definitely honour my daughter's life🙏🏾💕💛💕 she's here with me as I can feel her presence. Sending you much success on your move to Mexico. I plan to go myself in 2023.
May your daughter rest in peace, go after your dreams and desires, like you said I’m paraphrasing not giving a damn about what people think, if people wish you well they will only make positive comments! May your journeys be with ease and feel your heart desires, of what you want, and always keeping your daughters memories close to your heart😊
Tru dat; we built this country. HOWEVER, just like in a bad marriage, it doesn’t mean you have to stay in a bad relationship simply because you have given it your heart and soul. Your one earthly life must be lived on your terms with your best interest at heart! No do overs!
This is such a great analogy to better help understand why it’s okay to let that particular narrative go. So many of my own family feel this way, which I totally get, but at the same time, it’s not benefiting us.
“Your last name is Jones! You live in a place called Golden Plantation! Get out of here with that!” 😂 the cackle I Just CACKLED. Say it again Ms Stephanie.
I am actually from Chicago and I am researching living in Thailand. I am 54 years and my children are adults. I teach online and I feel it's my time to live. I love your channel.
Regarding point #1 (don't go to Portugal or other colonizing European countries) this comment by others is wild to me because our ancestors are the sole reason why these places have the wealth and resources that they do in the first place. If anything, we as black people are deserving of the life of ease these places can afford because it literally wouldn't even be possible without our people! Like cmon now. If living somewhere else outside the usa brings you peace and joy (no matter what others say about the place YOU choose for YOU), seek and pursue that because that is true liberation.
I am an astrologer and there is a type of astrology called Astrocartography. LITERALLY…the stars indicate the best places to live, and it’s irrespective of race and ethnicity. I LOVE that you say, “move where you feel sooooo good!” You are a true Feminine Leader! 🎉🎉🎉
@@ItsTinaTimeXOXO hi, there are various astrology websites where you can input your birth details and it will provide a free report. It’s really interesting & intriguing when it aligns with places that you’ve always resonated with but not sure how/why.. I’m making solid life decisions based on what showed up on mine. Good luck and enjoy
We hired a housekeeper when we were in Brazil. I miss her still. She was a consummate professional, experienced, efficient, organized, and knowledgeable. She knew what products to purchase -- often when we first arrive in a country, we don't know what products to use for cleaning, for example, or we don't know how to use them. She not only knew what products to buy but where to buy them at good prices, the prices that locals pay. I barely spoke Portuguese and her English wasn't much better, but we understood one another. As I said, I miss her still.
Thank GOD for YOU STEPHANiE!!!!!! You are helping me make this much needed move out of Chicago. I'm taking this show on the ROAD!! Much love, continued blessings in this life-saving work.
The people that are gaslighting they are jealous and in fear. Some people don’t want us to thrive and be happy. They want us to be miserable, misery love company. If we don’t travel, we will always stay misinformed. Travel! Enjoy this channel
I’m Jamaican, and it’s the norm for working class, middle class and upper class people to have helpers. My grandparents always had a minimum of 3 people working for them. It’s the norm, not the exception to have helpers.
Number 3 really irks my nerves! If I built a house from scratch with hard work and it's falling apart or even burning down despite my best efforts, I AM OUT!✌🏾
I LOVE THIS ENERGY!! I watch ALL Stephanie’s videos for this right here. Love it! This is life changing stuff and my plans are in the works. Thank you Stephanie!!
It seems that no matter what we black women do or say, haters have an issue with it. What's so funny to me is because of the haters, I've developed a strong ability to tune them out. THANK YOU HATERS FOR THAT SKILL YOU TAUGHT ME!
I've heard #2, 3, and 4 a lot. Everyone needs to do what's best for THEM. Don't let other people's opinions, fears, insecurities, etc. impact your decision to do what's best for your life.
On the replay here - Hi, Stephanie! When you read the No 2 Gaslight, I had to back up a bit to make sure I heard it correctly: "If everybody can't leave the country, nobody should leave the country". Who would even form their lips to say that??? That has got to be one of the worst, ridiculous, selfish things I have ever heard. I would have rather that person keep that to themselves because it really reveals a lot about their heart condition, and how they hate it when someone is making moves. They can't share in their joy because of jealousy. That's the kind of person who would do everything their power to sabotage your ex-pat journey if it was in their power. It's a shame that you can't uplift and encourage others to try an exciting new path in life without someone else spewing such selfish "logic". Now I really understand why it's so important to move in silence. Please keep those videos coming. We really need them!
I'm so sorry I missed this live but also glad I did cause your girl is 12 hours ahead in SEA for the last four month. Please please please keep setting the women free. You are in your POWER.
I missed the live but here for the replay. Side note: The part where Weezy Jefferson commented about black women having maids in Mexico. That made me giggle. 😂 Folks need to let Weezy move on up in peace.
People always want to dissuade others from doing something they wish they had the guts to do. I’ve stopped telling people my plans because they love to crush your dreams under the guise of “keeping you from making a mistake.” Eff em.
I support Black American women's freedom to live the expat life. Trust me, I totally understand. It's one of the things I'm very close to doing myself. Even though this video was not for Brothers, it would still make me a hypocrite to not defend our Sistahs' right to explore their options. So make that journey!
I think another one is “What are you running from? Or Are you running from something?” I’ve heard this many times and while yes avoiding/running from problems can show up in many ways.. it doesn’t mean moving abroad underlines a problem. It doesn’t change the fact that we have the agency to choose our own wellness and ability to experience places that add to our peace and joy. I’ve decided to RUN TOWARD my own freedom, to thrive and live in the environments that best support that. And the same folks who will ask that are people who haven’t faced their own demons, and subconscious beliefs that keep them in the rat race, toxic habits. One thing I know for sure is, I take me everywhere I go and I trust my intuition and my inner guidance to lead me where I need to be along this journey of life. Including what I need to see, know and understand about myself and the world I create around me.
CHILE If I had a dollar for every time someone told me these things, now that I've been telling people I want to leave, I'd have the money to leave today. Or they say the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And there are problems in other countries just like America and I can't "run from my problems."
I hate the "you can't run from your problems" one. It's such a demeaning, condescending statement disguised as "advice." As if people can't seek to improve their circumstances while having a balanced, realistic outlook. Most people I know who moved abroad thought about it for YEARS before following through.
@@fadedpages right? Like you move states for a better life. Why can't you move to another country? People seem to forget that US states ARE the sizes of countries in other places.
I want to ask someone if that means a woman living in Iran should not want to move to a western country for more freedoms because the grass isn’t always greener?? People don’t want to acknowledge that some environments are simply better than others for an individual person’s quality of life. And yes, that means that America is not the best choice for every persons quality of life. A lot of Black people have Stockholm syndrome when it comes to America.
There really are some people who have to be almost compulsively negative. It's bizarre. Somewhere along the line they had it hammered into them that saying something contrarian is somehow the same as saying something insightful. To disagree is to be smarter or 'more right'. I can't imagine discouraging someone from living their best life, especially if doing so asks absolutely nothing of me.
It’s called an oppositional conversational style. These people do nothing but drain joy. Yes, you’re correct, it’s a way of exerting power over another by trying to present themselves as more knowledgeable on anything at all. You could say the sky is blue, and it’s a problem.
Same as in the movie The Wizard of Oz when the man behind the curtain of Lies told Dorothy not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain of Lies. Same thing, gaslighting.
Hi Stephanie, I’m a guy and I love your channel and have to say after having lived in Europe , South America and North Africa, some of the most well adjusted, happy, self evolved and intelligent AA Women that I have known I met abroad. You deconstructed the myths beautifully with a splash of humor. Great vid! Maybe I’ll run into you in Portugal some day! Great work!
Hello beautiful Queen’s!!! I pray that this message finds everyone doing well. I’m watching this wisdom in the evening. As always, thank you our dear Stephanie for your constant encouragement and your press in love for your Sistah’s by sharing information must hear. I appreciate you. Recently, I have heard gaslighting, basically threatening Black Folks not to go to Portugal , period. The comments have gone so far as to say, that because the Black People in Portugal, as well as in other Latin countries, are living in oppression so going there to visit or to live is not a good idea. I don’t think that this is gaslighting, just someone sharing their opinion, but a comment was made that Black American’s typically don’t move to Black countries. Be encouraged and live in peace ladies!! Suggestion: Even if you owe taxes (large amounts of money) and student loans apply for your passport anyway and do it now.
I am dying from laughter this vid is so great but the line that got me was "a lot of those greedy people moved here!" 🎉 Thank you Stephanie for all you do. I'm inspired by you, thank you for normalizing services and buying time!
This video is all facts! Thank you so much for laying it out flat! You delivered this lesson so gracefully. The peanut gallery won't like this. I will be using your video as my weapon of choice for anyone who dares to gaslight again!.❤
20:21 Correct. The tribal heads in Ghana actually sent our tour guide to apologize to us for their role in shipping us off to be enslaved in America. We didn't accept it. There was about a 5-minute silence between that second-hand apology and the tour guide's departure.
I just had a similar talk with one of my GrandGrands this morning about how things are presented. Also, about the knowledge, power & strengths of Melanated peoples. How we must look & listen guardedly and do less talking. I am so thankful for the mother who raised me & gave me so much Spiritual Wisdom. Thank you Mom & Dr. Mumbi.
As high as Infant and maternal postpartum mortality is, a night time doula is essential! People still see Black Woman as mules. Release, Let go of that lie.
Move and Build in Silence and Let your Success Speak Volumes. Love your channel💕We are Ssters who are moving away from the West.. A lot of us are in Gambia and there is so much going on, but we now realise we have to be our 'Sisters Keeper' and look out for each other in love and genuine support. We leave the west to find and keep that peace of mind🙏🏾
Yes I have been listening to and reading all the comments that Gaslight black women into staying chained to America. Its just that they are "Triggered"🤪
If you mad about countries role in the slave trade the African continent is no different, whether West, East, South or North. I’ve been and I will tell you half like AA the other half do not and will treat people of a different race MUCH better than you regardless of your American passport. The same spirit that sold our ancestors into slavery is still very much alive and well on the continent.
Yes, I agree. I don't view Africans as my people just because of skin hue. I've experienced extreme hatred and bigotry from black immigrants in law school and traveling abroad. Case by case bases.
There was a certain Silver Screen Movie titled "Gaslight" aired in 1944 ( hence the term "Gaslight") where I believe Charles Boyer played the husband who manipulated his wife and every time he would accuse her of not really seeing things as they were or as she actually perceived ANYTHING he would literally turn the GASLIGHT down low to create a drab, somber, sad ambiance/ to make her second guess herself and feel bad about anything and everything she thought she saw, things she placed in a certain area just to learn where she placed it was no longer there; again the gas light used to light up a room was used to dissuade her. I believe the wife's character was played by Ingrid Bergman, I think. Charles' character was the most Narcissistic actor you've ever seen depicted in a movie, anyway I digress, Lol
Yes, Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In fact, that's where the term originated. The wife would notice that whenever her husband left the house the Gaslight would go down. So the term originated from that. Excellent movie, by the way!!!
Yup I’m from the Bay Area and we’re thinking about purchasing in Curacao. Yes! It’s ridiculous living in California. And girl Safeway is EXPENSIVE. 2 bags of grocery will be about $200. 😆
Way #6: Trying to convince you you can't feel that sense of freedom equally in Ghana AND Mexico, Sweden AND South Africa ⛓️🔗 Great content. You are putting yourself out there and taking the slack and criticism for those of us with similar experiences who hate social media 😂😂. You are a leader
People who tries to gaslight me, I consider them “Enemies”. Why? Because they do NOT have my best interest or my happiness in heart 🙄. They prefer my misery over my JOY. U can miss me with that BS ✌🏾!
@@sickofit5547 GASLIGHTER you're tactics are NOT going to work or fool ANYBODY here on this platform. Let me prove it to you right now. This question was about "what's everybody's obsession about controlling BW?" . That's the question I asked how exactly do you reply "You control what you fear"?! That doesn't answer the question dummy! THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER! DO YOU READ? Do you COMPREHEND what you read? By your silly answer I can tell the answer is no. By the way putting the onus on BW shoulders to control everyone's actions against them while no one's required to take responsibility for THEIR actions and decisions towards BW and how they are affected by them is just ludicrous. People like you are sick and just like trees need to be pruned in order to grow; Diseased branches must be cut off for a tree to be healthy. Whatever BW in your circle who decided to cut you off. They indeed made the best decision.
Hello Stephanie! Great topic 👍 We have done it ALL most of Us You in military come on we've had the experience and history is repeating itself ! been down this road before,? Change is good finding that place of peace joy with respect Thank You Blessings to All
I am 54, where you been girlfriend? Yes, I am at the point where ive done enough work and I want to enjoy life and see some of the world! Grateful for you girl!
MISS STEPHANIE PERRY 🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰"get out of my FACE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤫LOVE IT. I had a rough Day 😞. But Babe 👶 you lifted my spirit with . 1695 Plantation Blvd. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Peace and Blessings Always
I think the question was next year can we do a fund me to help women that can’t afford the exodus summit. Next year even if the Exodus Summit is $300 for the full summit, that’s only $25 a month that the person would have to save. If a person does not have the income to save $25 a month for a year, then they probably be should be looking at a new job right now. Yes the summit provides information on them on jobs but they really need to look for a new job if they can’t save $25 a month. I don’t mean to be rude it’s just my thought I’m not trying to be rude at all❤
Stephanie, I just wanted to commend on the job you're doing. I've actually turned friends and family on to your channel. Secondly, I just wanted to say that I didn't want to imply in my comments about Portugal that you shouldn't move there. You should do what makes you happy. I am a very caring and honest person. I follow you because I respect you and what you do. I did live in Portugal and I speak Portuguese, so the only I mentioned that Portugal can be racist, mostly because it's true and I also feel that some of the information about Blacks thriving there, not really true unless you have a salary from the US. As you probably know, the minimum wage in Portugal is very low, so things are going to be cheaper. Also as an African American, I know what we've been through so if you were my very own blood sister, I would let you know about some of the struggles that Black people in Portugal face. You are right, there is racism everywhere and going somewhere on vacation is not the same as living there. Having said all of that, I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it. I don't regret my comments, but I do regret the way my comments were interpreted.
I understood your comments from the get go. I have traveled quite a bit and was enamored with many places. The expats I met and befriended in those locations advised that there is a huge difference between visiting and resettling in a new clime for one having grown up in the US. If one is even seriously considering the idea, one obviously has courage. Not everyone has. I think #3 stated above is part of their own insecurity and inability to imagine anything other than what they've always known. (We have to extend to them our compassion even as we protect ourselves from their lack of vision). It's important to research and understand societal and cultural norms/expectations. I have several friends who are now expats having resettled in the following countries; Kenya, France, the Netherlands, Thailand and Germany. I also know a few others who went over as Peace Corps volunteers later returned, married and settled in that country. I've long been familar with the "Expat" community. We each have to decide what is best for our own short and long term selves. I am glad so many are finding and living their best lives.
I lived in Alaska for 10 years (1998-2008) and there are many retired military living in Fairbanks and Anchorage . Many are from the South and relish in the ability to live anywhere that you can afford. Likewise there are Afro-colonies in Cheyenne WY and Albuquerque. Smaller colonies in Great Falls MT and Minot ND and essentially any place that there is a base.
I worked in Great Falls Montana for a couple months in the summer a few years back! Met some of the wonderful Black community there and the Cajun restaurant was off the chain!!! We are everywhere 🥰
Actually I hear many Black people are fed up with the U.S. and seeking to move and live abroad. A very good friend of mine is currently "scouting" out Ghana. Many educated and well-employed Black Men are seeking wives abroad to avoid the pervasive "Feminist" mindset that has confused and angered so many women (especially Black women) here in the U.S. - Good Luck to all.
let them know Stephanie!! a number of companies folks work for. etc. Aetna did as that was the business at the time, a number of other companies etc. come on yall. We struggled for so long, there may be fear in not doing so. If you don't know what your life looks like outside of struggle/working, then you definitely need a sabbatical. paraphrasing Goddess Stephanie Perry. If I never had to work for money, I would not be working I'd be crocheting, writing, life coaching, doing mental health coaching. or actually I'd be crocheting and writing from a beach locale, meeting people, eating fresh fruits and veggies day in and day out and simply enjoying my days with all the ease... I'm doing what I need to now. LET THOSE WHO HAVE EARS HEAR WHAT IS BEING "SAID". I CERTAINLY HEAR IT
Watching the replay! Stephanie you are so on point with theses 5 gaslighting subjects! ❤👏🏾 Gurl you are a Comedy Central Script on these topic! 😅 Keep being you! 😍
Don’t get me started on ecotourism and voluntaryism. People trying to convince others and themselves to give away their labor for free, at the same time putting others down for getting paid. These same people who say you shouldn’t go to such and such a place because it was founded on colonialism will also get tricked into paying to “volunteer” to build things nobody wants or needs in places where they can feel morally superior. Have you seen the show “Jungletown”? It’s a docu-series on these mostly white young people who have been tricked into going to live in the jungle of Panama and have paid SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS for the privilege of helping this wealthy guy build a town. This wealthy developer guy bought this real estate to develop, but ran out of money. That’s when he realized he could convince idealistic young college students to VOLUNTEER to come there and build the city he wanted to create, and PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE under the guise of “We’re creating the most sustainable city in the world.” Little by little they all realize they’ve been tricked. It’s fascinating!
So many bad minded folk out here I tell you. Smh. I go where my heart is comfortable. Idc what haters and fearful negative ppl say. Clarity ppl... Portugal was once a SWARTHY country btw. Do your research...if you know about its ancient history and who the ppl looked like. Research the origins of Europe. All black people.
LOL 😆🤣😂!!! You are my girl. Thats our motto to do as less as possible. Time out for that shit!! All this dam work work work.. Agree with you if I did not need money I wouldn't do anything at all!! Keep the videos coming honey. Love your channel.
NO TO LIVING IN Puerto Rico. Hurricane territory. Hurricane FIONA, just knocked out power on the entire island today! No to living in exotic Dover, Delaware, too. Nope. I adore sunny, warm climates for living.................... Central America is my sweet spot
One gaslighting tactic they use is they'll say that some countries are rascist. I mean I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist though. you just have to research, the culture and customs of the country you want to move to in order not to offend the people there. And also, you don't have to move to predominantly black countries if you don't want to.
The best way to counteract gaslighting is to simply move in silence.
This is great advice for not just moving abroad but any big moves you make in life!
Amen
I couldn’t agree more! Silence is a super power😊!!
It really is! 😂
I don’t talk a lot naturally, but I have the tendency to want everybody’s perspective on stuff. 🤷🏽♀️
Truism.
I moved from Chicago to Accra in 2018-with my children. 5yr anniversary loading-all the naysayers can’t even talk to me anymore. I went through hell with my family in the process and sometimes it feels like I’m in another Universe. But I am here, and my children are thriving.
I am from Chicago. I don’t blame you for leaving. Though I live in the Northwest burbs, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go. I’m leaving as well.
@cice... ❤I'm so proud of you (AND your children). How are you guys?
I hate how fear is used to keep us stuck!
You better preach! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Not me...............from the houseboat on the lakes of the Ozarks USA with my tall handsome husband from Central America
@@shirleygriffin7672 Im right down there with you and enjoying driving up to the boat dock at the restaurant to eat dinner. No shame in my game!
@@MyDaybyLori GREAT............................back from crystal digging in the Quachita mountains
I watched an interview maybe month or less ago with young joc on vlad. i hav made respect for this man afterwards. it made me believe that we r not stuck but at a crossroad. No one is willing to give up their current lifestyle. we play checkers & theyr playn chess.
Ain't nothing wrong with hiring a housecleaner! I have one in the US and I will eat rice and beans all month before I give that up. When we were in Mexico we had a housecleaner, laundry lady, and personal trainer. It's common in other countries to hire help! Folx just want black women to be tired! Hiring help is a game changer.
AMEN😂
I think it's so strange for people to talk about how unsafe other countries are when nobody has as many mass shootings as the US.
Many times, gaslighting is used on black women to keep us in danger.
I would like to retire abroad because it is safer. But I don't share that information too often or with everyone.
Move in silence. Love your channel. Thank you.
Right on and very true 👍
OMG! This video is so refreshing ✨️ Yes, I hate it when people gaslight or try to project their own fears onto to me---especially when it comes to following MY dreams. From this day forward, I am no longer taking gaslighting comments seriously. Gratitude & thanks Stephanie!
Yes! I also noticed it's mostly other black women that project their issues and insecurites onto other black women. It's like a crabs in a barrel syndrome.
EXACTLY Sister. I been through HELL and back recently the death of my daughter 💕🙏🏾💕. Damn TIRED of everyone and their hating minds. This is MY TIME now.
Love me some Costa Rica, Jamaica and Mexico... exploring others as well.
My condolences 🙏 praying for your continued strength, growth and success. Do you, Sis.
Sorry. Spirit does not die. The death of my sister in 2018 was heart shattering. But, the heart mends- slowly. Joy does return. Please honor your sister by living your best life- now.
May the peace of GOD overshadow you, my sister. Go find your peace. Planning on relocating to Mexico early 2023. May see you there!!! T
@@twalker2645 I'm sorry for your precious loss,💛.
Thank you for your positive words. Definitely honour my daughter's life🙏🏾💕💛💕 she's here with me as I can feel her presence.
Sending you much success on your move to Mexico. I plan to go myself in 2023.
May your daughter rest in peace, go after your dreams and desires, like you said I’m paraphrasing not giving a damn about what people think, if people wish you well they will only make positive comments! May your journeys be with ease and feel your heart desires, of what you want, and always keeping your daughters memories close to your heart😊
@@evecollins6884 Much respect and gratitude for sending condolences. Much gratitude for your positive words of support. 💛🙏🏾
"We've done enough" Word.
Tru dat; we built this country. HOWEVER, just like in a bad marriage, it doesn’t mean you have to stay in a bad relationship simply because you have given it your heart and soul. Your one earthly life must be lived on your terms with your best interest at heart! No do overs!
Amen
💯 ❤
White people are everywhere. No way to avoid them ....or racism.
This is such a great analogy to better help understand why it’s okay to let that particular narrative go. So many of my own family feel this way, which I totally get, but at the same time, it’s not benefiting us.
“Your last name is Jones! You live in a place called Golden Plantation! Get out of here with that!”
😂 the cackle I Just CACKLED.
Say it again Ms Stephanie.
I am actually from Chicago and I am researching living in Thailand. I am 54 years and my children are adults. I teach online and I feel it's my time to live. I love your channel.
Hi Stephanie. Please let me know a good time we can discuss things.
Regarding point #1 (don't go to Portugal or other colonizing European countries) this comment by others is wild to me because our ancestors are the sole reason why these places have the wealth and resources that they do in the first place. If anything, we as black people are deserving of the life of ease these places can afford because it literally wouldn't even be possible without our people! Like cmon now. If living somewhere else outside the usa brings you peace and joy (no matter what others say about the place YOU choose for YOU), seek and pursue that because that is true liberation.
It’s also the fault of our ancestors for not increasing the cost odd these natural resources or not even trying to heavily tax these white nations.
I am an astrologer and there is a type of astrology called Astrocartography. LITERALLY…the stars indicate the best places to live, and it’s irrespective of race and ethnicity. I LOVE that you say, “move where you feel sooooo good!” You are a true Feminine Leader! 🎉🎉🎉
Do you read for others? I’d like to know where to move
@@ItsTinaTimeXOXO hi, there are various astrology websites where you can input your birth details and it will provide a free report. It’s really interesting & intriguing when it aligns with places that you’ve always resonated with but not sure how/why.. I’m making solid life decisions based on what showed up on mine. Good luck and enjoy
@@ItsTinaTimeXOXO Me too!
Thank you for this information. I’m definitely going to look this up
interested
We hired a housekeeper when we were in Brazil. I miss her still. She was a consummate professional, experienced, efficient, organized, and knowledgeable. She knew what products to purchase -- often when we first arrive in a country, we don't know what products to use for cleaning, for example, or we don't know how to use them. She not only knew what products to buy but where to buy them at good prices, the prices that locals pay. I barely spoke Portuguese and her English wasn't much better, but we understood one another. As I said, I miss her still.
Thank GOD for YOU STEPHANiE!!!!!! You are helping me make this much needed move out of Chicago. I'm taking this show on the ROAD!! Much love, continued blessings in this life-saving work.
The people that are gaslighting they are jealous and in fear. Some people don’t want us to thrive and be happy.
They want us to be miserable, misery love company.
If we don’t travel, we will always stay misinformed.
Travel!
Enjoy this channel
I’m Jamaican, and it’s the norm for working class, middle class and upper class people to have helpers. My grandparents always had a minimum of 3 people working for them. It’s the norm, not the exception to have helpers.
Same in Nigeria.
Fro stay poppin’ and truth stay spillin’! Love it! ❤️
Number 3 really irks my nerves!
If I built a house from scratch with hard work and it's falling apart or even burning down despite my best efforts,
I AM OUT!✌🏾
I LOVE THIS ENERGY!! I watch ALL Stephanie’s videos for this right here. Love it!
This is life changing stuff and my plans are in the works. Thank you Stephanie!!
It seems that no matter what we black women do or say, haters have an issue with it. What's so funny to me is because of the haters, I've developed a strong ability to tune them out. THANK YOU HATERS FOR THAT SKILL YOU TAUGHT ME!
I've heard #2, 3, and 4 a lot. Everyone needs to do what's best for THEM. Don't let other people's opinions, fears, insecurities, etc. impact your decision to do what's best for your life.
I never did, I relocated to Montreal Canada and got married. You are going to need $$$$$$$ to live abroad
On the replay here - Hi, Stephanie! When you read the No 2 Gaslight, I had to back up a bit to make sure I heard it correctly: "If everybody can't leave the country, nobody should leave the country". Who would even form their lips to say that??? That has got to be one of the worst, ridiculous, selfish things I have ever heard. I would have rather that person keep that to themselves because it really reveals a lot about their heart condition, and how they hate it when someone is making moves. They can't share in their joy because of jealousy. That's the kind of person who would do everything their power to sabotage your ex-pat journey if it was in their power. It's a shame that you can't uplift and encourage others to try an exciting new path in life without someone else spewing such selfish "logic". Now I really understand why it's so important to move in silence. Please keep those videos coming. We really need them!
I'm so sorry I missed this live but also glad I did cause your girl is 12 hours ahead in SEA for the last four month. Please please please keep setting the women free. You are in your POWER.
I have a friend (black woman) that wants to move to Peru and I gave her your TH-cam plus said "GO!"
I missed the live but here for the replay.
Side note: The part where Weezy Jefferson commented about black women having maids in Mexico. That made me giggle. 😂 Folks need to let Weezy move on up in peace.
People don't understand the frustration as a black person in America
Yes Stephanie!!! This subject was needed because everyone is not "above" the gaslighting and these narratives need to be dismantled.
Exactly. Not everybody is above the gaslighting, even your own friends and family ang people you thought were on the same page.
Luv the Black woman as a priority concept! We are always last to be considered.
People always want to dissuade others from doing something they wish they had the guts to do. I’ve stopped telling people my plans because they love to crush your dreams under the guise of “keeping you from making a mistake.” Eff em.
I support Black American women's freedom to live the expat life. Trust me, I totally understand. It's one of the things I'm very close to doing myself. Even though this video was not for Brothers, it would still make me a hypocrite to not defend our Sistahs' right to explore their options. So make that journey!
Racist 👑👩🏽🙄 Everything’s racist…..Blah Blah! So over the racism argument. Go live where your happy. 👑👩🏽😘❤️🥰🙌🏽✌🏽
I think another one is “What are you running from? Or Are you running from something?” I’ve heard this many times and while yes avoiding/running from problems can show up in many ways.. it doesn’t mean moving abroad underlines a problem. It doesn’t change the fact that we have the agency to choose our own wellness and ability to experience places that add to our peace and joy. I’ve decided to RUN TOWARD my own freedom, to thrive and live in the environments that best support that. And the same folks who will ask that are people who haven’t faced their own demons, and subconscious beliefs that keep them in the rat race, toxic habits. One thing I know for sure is, I take me everywhere I go and I trust my intuition and my inner guidance to lead me where I need to be along this journey of life. Including what I need to see, know and understand about myself and the world I create around me.
This video is so interesting. You are always so positive and upbeat.
Siiissss!!! You speaking mad wisdom! ❤
CHILE If I had a dollar for every time someone told me these things, now that I've been telling people I want to leave, I'd have the money to leave today. Or they say the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And there are problems in other countries just like America and I can't "run from my problems."
I hate the "you can't run from your problems" one. It's such a demeaning, condescending statement disguised as "advice." As if people can't seek to improve their circumstances while having a balanced, realistic outlook. Most people I know who moved abroad thought about it for YEARS before following through.
@@fadedpages right? Like you move states for a better life. Why can't you move to another country? People seem to forget that US states
ARE the sizes of countries in other places.
I’ve heard all of this and I just started tuning them out. Sadly I’ve heard all of these! Smdh
I want to ask someone if that means a woman living in Iran should not want to move to a western country for more freedoms because the grass isn’t always greener?? People don’t want to acknowledge that some environments are simply better than others for an individual person’s quality of life. And yes, that means that America is not the best choice for every persons quality of life. A lot of Black people have Stockholm syndrome when it comes to America.
I literally laughed so hard at this “Your last name is Jones- get outta here”. Thank you so much for being you 😂😂😂. I cannot hahahahaahaha
You have me rolling talking to Mr. Jones! 😂
There really are some people who have to be almost compulsively negative. It's bizarre. Somewhere along the line they had it hammered into them that saying something contrarian is somehow the same as saying something insightful. To disagree is to be smarter or 'more right'. I can't imagine discouraging someone from living their best life, especially if doing so asks absolutely nothing of me.
It’s called an oppositional conversational style. These people do nothing but drain joy. Yes, you’re correct, it’s a way of exerting power over another by trying to present themselves as more knowledgeable on anything at all. You could say the sky is blue, and it’s a problem.
Same as in the movie The Wizard of Oz when the man behind the curtain of Lies told Dorothy not to pay attention to the man behind the curtain of Lies. Same thing, gaslighting.
Hi Stephanie, I’m a guy and I love your channel and have to say after having lived in Europe , South America and North Africa, some of the most well adjusted, happy, self evolved and intelligent AA Women that I have known I met abroad. You deconstructed the myths beautifully with a splash of humor. Great vid! Maybe I’ll run into you in Portugal some day! Great work!
I can’t tell you how hilarious and refreshing this conversation is…❤
Hello beautiful Queen’s!!!
I pray that this message finds everyone doing well.
I’m watching this wisdom in the evening. As always, thank you our dear Stephanie for your constant encouragement and your press in love for your Sistah’s by sharing information must hear. I appreciate you.
Recently, I have heard gaslighting, basically threatening Black Folks not to go to Portugal , period. The comments have gone so far as to say, that because the Black People in Portugal, as well as in other Latin countries, are living in oppression so going there to visit or to live is not a good idea.
I don’t think that this is gaslighting, just someone sharing their opinion, but a comment was made that Black American’s typically don’t move to Black countries.
Be encouraged and live in peace ladies!!
Suggestion: Even if you owe taxes (large amounts of money) and student loans apply for your passport anyway and do it now.
So many of us don't have Passports, and don't want one. Big World. Go see it.
I am dying from laughter this vid is so great but the line that got me was "a lot of those greedy people moved here!" 🎉 Thank you Stephanie for all you do. I'm inspired by you, thank you for normalizing services and buying time!
We are the MAJORITY. Never refer to ourselves as that. We need to get that conditioning out of our psyche.
This video is all facts! Thank you so much for laying it out flat! You delivered this lesson so gracefully. The peanut gallery won't like this. I will be using your video as my weapon of choice for anyone who dares to gaslight again!.❤
20:21 Correct. The tribal heads in Ghana actually sent our tour guide to apologize to us for their role in shipping us off to be enslaved in America. We didn't accept it. There was about a 5-minute silence between that second-hand apology and the tour guide's departure.
I just had a similar talk with one of my GrandGrands this morning about how things are presented. Also, about the knowledge, power & strengths of Melanated peoples. How we must look & listen guardedly and do less talking. I am so thankful for the mother who raised me & gave me so much Spiritual Wisdom. Thank you Mom & Dr. Mumbi.
As high as Infant and maternal postpartum mortality is, a night time doula is essential! People still see Black Woman as mules. Release, Let go of that lie.
Wow so on point. I have been saying my gut says I will feel better and feel more relaxed and even energized living abroad.
Move and Build in Silence and Let your Success Speak Volumes.
Love your channel💕We are Ssters who are moving away from the West..
A lot of us are in Gambia and there is so much going on, but we now realise we have to be our 'Sisters Keeper' and look out for each other in love and genuine support. We leave the west to find and keep that peace of mind🙏🏾
It makes me so happy that there are voices like this in our community, since the misogynists have monopolized the public platform for too long.
Yes I have been listening to and reading all the comments that Gaslight black women into staying chained to America. Its just that they are "Triggered"🤪
If you mad about countries role in the slave trade the African continent is no different, whether West, East, South or North. I’ve been and I will tell you half like AA the other half do not and will treat people of a different race MUCH better than you regardless of your American passport. The same spirit that sold our ancestors into slavery is still very much alive and well on the continent.
Yes, I agree. I don't view Africans as my people just because of skin hue. I've experienced extreme hatred and bigotry from black immigrants in law school and traveling abroad. Case by case bases.
The very reason I changed my mind about Africa. I don’t need the colonialism. Hope to visit someday but not live there permanently.
Great great points that you’re making very great points
Thank you! 💗
Right: nothing abt daily dishwashing. I want what my grandmothers never had: a housekeeper, a chef, and a driver.
I love the info and inspirational that you give....makes ne say YAS!!!!!!!!!!!! In the depths of my very soul
You are going to need $$$$$$$$$$$ to live abroad
There was a certain Silver Screen Movie titled "Gaslight" aired in 1944 ( hence the term "Gaslight") where I believe Charles Boyer played the husband who manipulated his wife and every time he would accuse her of not really seeing things as they were or as she actually perceived ANYTHING he would literally turn the GASLIGHT down low to create a drab, somber, sad ambiance/ to make her second guess herself and feel bad about anything and everything she thought she saw, things she placed in a certain area just to learn where she placed it was no longer there; again the gas light used to light up a room was used to dissuade her. I believe the wife's character was played by Ingrid Bergman, I think. Charles' character was the most Narcissistic actor you've ever seen depicted in a movie, anyway I digress, Lol
Yes, Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. In fact, that's where the term originated. The wife would notice that whenever her husband left the house the Gaslight would go down. So the term originated from that. Excellent movie, by the way!!!
I saw this movie. There is a book titled gaslighting!
Girl, you got such a beautiful smile. You definitely brighten up the room.
Thanks so much Minerva's World! 💗
Yup I’m from the Bay Area and we’re thinking about purchasing in Curacao. Yes! It’s ridiculous living in California. And girl Safeway is EXPENSIVE. 2 bags of grocery will be about $200. 😆
Way #6: Trying to convince you you can't feel that sense of freedom equally in Ghana AND Mexico, Sweden AND South Africa ⛓️🔗
Great content. You are putting yourself out there and taking the slack and criticism for those of us with similar experiences who hate social media 😂😂.
You are a leader
Thanks for being adventurous and non-conformist-a true Black Woman,
People who tries to gaslight me, I consider them “Enemies”. Why? Because they do NOT have my best interest or my happiness in heart 🙄. They prefer my misery over my JOY. U can miss me with that BS ✌🏾!
"They can deposit my reparations check in the bank. Why do I need to stay here?" Lmaoo, I agree!
I have one question. What's everybody's obsession with controlling BW?
You control what you fear.
@@sickofit5547 yeeeess.
@@sickofit5547 GASLIGHTER you're tactics are NOT going to work or fool ANYBODY here on this platform. Let me prove it to you right now. This question was about "what's everybody's obsession about controlling BW?" . That's the question I asked how exactly do you reply "You control what you fear"?! That doesn't answer the question dummy! THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER! DO YOU READ? Do you COMPREHEND what you read? By your silly answer I can tell the answer is no. By the way putting the onus on BW shoulders to control everyone's actions against them while no one's required to take responsibility for THEIR actions and decisions towards BW and how they are affected by them is just ludicrous. People like you are sick and just like trees need to be pruned in order to grow; Diseased branches must be cut off for a tree to be healthy. Whatever BW in your circle who decided to cut you off. They indeed made the best decision.
@@ambrosia-venusbelladonna835 no I’m saying they try to control us because they fear we will raise up and destroy them for what they have done.
I love your disgusted look.😒 I crack up every time. You can get those folks together with just that look. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🤣
Hello Stephanie! Great topic 👍 We have done it ALL most of Us You in military come on we've had the experience and history is repeating itself ! been down this road before,? Change is good finding that place of peace joy with respect Thank You Blessings to All
I have a housekeeper I’m the states 💁🏽♀️ thank you for the information because imma hire a midnight doula too 😭.
7:45 min. You're right about that. No easy and rest for black women of America. I'm with it.
I am 54, where you been girlfriend? Yes, I am at the point where ive done enough work and I want to enjoy life and see some of the world! Grateful for you girl!
MISS STEPHANIE PERRY 🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰"get out of my FACE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤫LOVE IT. I had a rough Day 😞. But Babe 👶 you lifted my spirit with . 1695 Plantation Blvd. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Peace and Blessings Always
I totally admire your resolve and encouragement. You are now one of my new TH-cam BFF’S!
The only people I’ve told about my plans are my mother, my life coach and of course God. That’s it that’s all. Excellent live Stephanie!
I think the question was next year can we do a fund me to help women that can’t afford the exodus summit. Next year even if the Exodus Summit is $300 for the full summit, that’s only $25 a month that the person would have to save. If a person does not have the income to save $25 a month for a year, then they probably be should be looking at a new job right now. Yes the summit provides information on them on jobs but they really need to look for a new job if they can’t save $25 a month. I don’t mean to be rude it’s just my thought I’m not trying to be rude at all❤
catching the replay. Love this channel.
Me, too. I missed the livestream. You are going to need $$$$$$$$$$
I needed this so much. thank you! and I signed up for the summit too. Can't wait.
Stephanie, I just wanted to commend on the job you're doing. I've actually turned friends and family on to your channel.
Secondly, I just wanted to say that I didn't want to imply in my comments about Portugal that you shouldn't move there. You should do what makes you happy. I am a very caring and honest person. I follow you because I respect you and what you do. I did live in Portugal and I speak Portuguese, so the only I mentioned that Portugal can be racist, mostly because it's true and I also feel that some of the information about Blacks thriving there, not really true unless you have a salary from the US. As you probably know, the minimum wage in Portugal is very low, so things are going to be cheaper.
Also as an African American, I know what we've been through so if you were my very own blood sister, I would let you know about some of the struggles that Black people in Portugal face. You are right, there is racism everywhere and going somewhere on vacation is not the same as living there.
Having said all of that, I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it. I don't regret my comments, but I do regret the way my comments were interpreted.
I understood your comments from the get go. I have traveled quite a bit and was enamored with many places. The expats I met and befriended in those locations advised that there is a huge difference between visiting and resettling in a new clime for one having grown up in the US.
If one is even seriously considering the idea, one obviously has courage. Not everyone has.
I think #3 stated above is part of their own insecurity and inability to imagine anything other than what they've always known.
(We have to extend to them our compassion even as we protect ourselves from their lack of vision).
It's important to research and understand societal and cultural norms/expectations.
I have several friends who are now expats having resettled in the following countries; Kenya, France, the Netherlands, Thailand and Germany.
I also know a few others who went over as Peace Corps volunteers later returned, married and settled in that country.
I've long been familar with the "Expat" community.
We each have to decide what is best for our own short and long term selves.
I am glad so many are finding and living their best lives.
Stephanie,a good example is the underground railroad. Those who can went on and make places for others to follow.
I lived in Alaska for 10 years (1998-2008) and there are many retired military living in Fairbanks and Anchorage . Many are from the South and relish in the ability to live anywhere that you can afford. Likewise there are Afro-colonies in Cheyenne WY and Albuquerque. Smaller colonies in Great Falls MT and Minot ND and essentially any place that there is a base.
I worked in Great Falls Montana for a couple months in the summer a few years back! Met some of the wonderful Black community there and the Cajun restaurant was off the chain!!! We are everywhere 🥰
Actually I hear many Black people are fed up with the U.S. and seeking to move and live abroad. A very good friend of mine is currently "scouting" out Ghana. Many educated and well-employed Black Men are seeking wives abroad to avoid the pervasive "Feminist" mindset that has confused and angered so many women (especially Black women) here in the U.S. - Good Luck to all.
5:05 I agrée with ALL your points!!!
Your facial expressions as you name the 5 types of gaslighting are sending me 😂😂😂
Looking fresh and lovely here and informative report. PORTUGAL IS BEAUTIFUL
let them know Stephanie!! a number of companies folks work for. etc. Aetna did as that was the business at the time, a number of other companies etc. come on yall. We struggled for so long, there may be fear in not doing so. If you don't know what your life looks like outside of struggle/working, then you definitely need a sabbatical. paraphrasing Goddess Stephanie Perry. If I never had to work for money, I would not be working I'd be crocheting, writing, life coaching, doing mental health coaching. or actually I'd be crocheting and writing from a beach locale, meeting people, eating fresh fruits and veggies day in and day out and simply enjoying my days with all the ease... I'm doing what I need to now. LET THOSE WHO HAVE EARS HEAR WHAT IS BEING "SAID". I CERTAINLY HEAR IT
My guess is the feeling of being more relaxed and at ease is the physical distance people are putting between themselves and demanding family members.
Watching the replay! Stephanie you are so on point with theses 5 gaslighting subjects! ❤👏🏾 Gurl you are a Comedy Central Script on these topic! 😅 Keep being you! 😍
Hi Stephanie, here in Chicago from the future
*The first 8 minutes killed the narcissistic gaslighting bs*
I truly LoVe this channel.
We love you Stephanie! You always provide great info for us to figure what we want to do. Please keep spreading the good word. 😂🎉🎉🦷🦷🦷👍🏿💪🏿🙏🏿
this video is so necessary and refreshing
Whoo Stephanie, you were touches some nerves with this one! Lol
Don’t get me started on ecotourism and voluntaryism. People trying to convince others and themselves to give away their labor for free, at the same time putting others down for getting paid. These same people who say you shouldn’t go to such and such a place because it was founded on colonialism will also get tricked into paying to “volunteer” to build things nobody wants or needs in places where they can feel morally superior. Have you seen the show “Jungletown”? It’s a docu-series on these mostly white young people who have been tricked into going to live in the jungle of Panama and have paid SEVERAL THOUSAND DOLLARS for the privilege of helping this wealthy guy build a town. This wealthy developer guy bought this real estate to develop, but ran out of money. That’s when he realized he could convince idealistic young college students to VOLUNTEER to come there and build the city he wanted to create, and PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE under the guise of “We’re creating the most sustainable city in the world.” Little by little they all realize they’ve been tricked. It’s fascinating!
So many bad minded folk out here I tell you. Smh. I go where my heart is comfortable. Idc what haters and fearful negative ppl say.
Clarity ppl... Portugal was once a SWARTHY country btw. Do your research...if you know about its ancient history and who the ppl looked like.
Research the origins of Europe. All black people.
OMG! I just love Stephanie ❤️ Perry! She know her shit! For real!💯
Here for the replay…wish I caught the live.
The world is my oyster. Enough said.
LOL 😆🤣😂!!! You are my girl. Thats our motto to do as less as possible. Time out for that shit!! All this dam work work work.. Agree with you if I did not need money I wouldn't do anything at all!! Keep the videos coming honey. Love your channel.
NO TO LIVING IN Puerto Rico. Hurricane territory. Hurricane FIONA, just knocked out power on the entire island today! No to living in exotic Dover, Delaware, too. Nope. I adore sunny, warm climates for living.................... Central America is my sweet spot
One gaslighting tactic they use is they'll say that some countries are rascist. I mean I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist though. you just have to research, the culture and customs of the country you want to move to in order not to offend the people there. And also, you don't have to move to predominantly black countries if you don't want to.