Sweetheart, with healing we learn to listen to our intuition. We forge an unbreakable bond between ourselves and our inner being that keeps us tuned into our feelings and free from trauma, we honor them. If you'd like to learn more about how to do that, I'd love you to come on into my free webinar:melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
I know that pain, my instincts were throwing up red flags, unfortunately at that time I was too young/naive to know that it was a red flag and it was warning me, yes I paid the heavy price of ignoring it. I learned to forgive myself, found self love and made sure when that flag came up again I listened,,,,I hope you have been able to do so as well.
I will never ignore my gut instinct again. Something wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it and, anyway, I was infatuated. It was a tough lesson to learn.
I now recognize narcissistic personalities within seconds of meeting someone and I no longer attract them because I am no longer attracted to them. It was a divine plan I don’t need to be shown those broken spots anymore I fixed them.
I ended up experiencing confusion on a level during my toxic relationship that I never dreamed was even possible when the mask was lowered. Instead of growing in the relationship to get to know one another, in the abrupt end, I ended up with a complete Stranger, an individual I did not even know. It felt so disorienting...And unsettling. This was my wake up call to get the hell out and thank the good Lord I did.
Having the mask fall off is like finding out your loving, sweet, caring husband of 10 years is like Chris watts and Brittany Zamora all rolled into one person. Horrifying.
I knew him as a child... lived w him when I was 6 & my parents divorced. I kept thinking THAT little sweet boy was under it all. No. That is NOT who I saw when the mask fell. He terrified me so much I worry I won’t ever get over this ptsd..
I cant believe it, you perfectly described what happened to me with my mother who I once adored & as SHE said "I worshipped the ground she walked on" ......I always sided with her, up to the age of 43 when I had a breakdown, thats when the cracks started to open...(Im now early 50s). The masks started to drop when I really needed her help, I helped her all my life. Slowly but surely the mask dropped more & more. What lays beneath that false Grandiose entitled self is very scary....She very subtlety & now when I think back over the years masterfully lied, manipulated, Ive experienced all the Narcissist tactics & tricks like emmeshment, amplification, shaming, infantilize, rationalization, triangulation between my sister ( the golden girl who amazingly was groomed to mimic mother the Narcissist) .....Near the end & during the discard after spending years working on property & spending my money (hundreds of thousands) on properties in her name, I had to sell my home sadly.....Im still recovering, its been hard accepting this...there is so much more to my story...I sometimes think is this really happening, am I in a nightmare with twisted cruel demons souls all around me...And most Psychiatrist, Psychologist are not up to speed with these mentally ill ppl running rampant wrecking lives every day....these academics ppl turn to for help, but most have no idea....
Most professionals don't understand this well. I have learned a lot about my mom too in the last few years. I am 51. It has taken me a long time to really understand and be honest with myself about my upbringing. I know the truth now. I know I am on my own but it's better than a false sense of security believing narcs. I have been building myself up for the past 4 years. It has been very painful, difficult, but rewarding. I love living an honest life.
What I find so gutwrenching about these dynamics is that they leverage our greatest inner longings for a healed and wholesome life.. we can finally taste it, and like a starved little child we just don't care what exactly we swallow as long as the pangs go away.
Palesa Yep. For my experience the mask fell off fully, completely, in one single moment. It was the most horrifying experience I have ever felt. I found that this person who I thought cared about me, didn't. And we had spent so much time together too. It wasn't like this person was a stranger...but they were. I didn't know them at all, because what they showed me and what the showed others were 2 completely different things.
@@specialtwice4975 this is what happened to me. I had that feeling in my gut so long he hated me. He dropped the mask.. there was rage. But no hate. He was completely indifferent to me. Couldn’t care either way.. And I have ptsd from the trauma of seeing the man I thought loved me so deeply did not even care. Wouldn’t care if I died.
I was married to a covert narcissist, so dangerous. You are right with listen to your feelings, it’s always right. I love ❤️ your morals, your way is a great way to find who you are with
I was just crying searching the internet why my ex emotionally destroyed me for the past few weeks, was trying to figure out where I went wrong and came across your channel. My ex fits ALL the signs so I got my answer. It wasn't me it was him he would try to hurt me even if I just sat up straight and said nothing because I always got very emotional when he would get mad and jealous about the dumbest things. He would throw unexpected tantrums over NOTHING accusing me of thigs I didn't understand or do and projected all of his behavior on to me. I always blamed myself and developed extreme anxiety. Now after watching your videos it's like I got myself back. I sleep better, I eat! and I feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders because I don't want him back anymore. Thank you!
Aww darling lady, I'm so thrilled that you found my resources and they are helping you! If you feel drawn towards this I'd love to invite you into one of my free healing webinars melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so I can show you how to heal and breakthrough into your thriving and best life! Love and Blessings xoxox
Great video Melanie!!!! I agree with you on all accounts. I will continue my daily healing through the NARP Program. I am surrounding myself with healthy friends. And I am focused on what brings JOY TO MY LIFE!!!! I learned when I was married that Narc's are never happy. I gave 200% to the marriage, and it meant nothing.!!! So when it ended I could walk away a free man.
So correct Melanie. It is so fake, they are so fake, a facade. I dealt with a female covert narcissist in a love relationship and I sincerely did not see it come in the beginning. Only after the love bombing I saw more and more through her flaws, lies and fake behavior. I learned the hard way and it will never happen to me again. There is so much information about this topic.
A covert narc I had a long time interaction with would watch a TV show or movie - pick up a behavior or statement and adapt it as their own.. he had no sense of self..
You can expect smear campaigns being accused of doing horrible things you would never think of doing. Others believing their word over yours and you know their the real monster. 🙂
Dear Mel, your videos are fantastic! Your sharp insight into what is really going on is without precedent! And I thought my case was unique! But with your help I've realized it was just a pattern that happens in every narc's relationship! Thank you so much 💙🦋💙
He played the victim.. poor him - he suffers from depression.. I cut him so much slack for so long.. then I WOKE UP! All he was doing is sucking off of me.. tearing down my energy - my dreams - my talents - my life.. my loving - my kindness.. and FINALLY I GOT IT!
Awesome video and absolutely correct..... Recently discovered my sister is a full blown narc..... When the mask fell she spewed all kinds of hateful obnoxious terrible things..... There is nothing to do at that point..... I have since gone no contact...... Unbelievably a few days ago - after not responding in any manner for about 3 months - she text me saying she hoped I was OK and that everything was going well - ?!!?!!?!! ..... As if she had never vomited all those hurtful things..... Just smh and went about my business..... She must be hard up for supply..... its pure insanity and I am so Done ..... Thanks Mel for another great video and even more for NARP !!!! It's Awesome......
Hope you've been enjoying your 2021 Ms. Melanie ☺ (Everything you said was spot on btw...for all narc abuse survivors and smear campaign survivors, please remember you're stronger than the narcs who've hurt you 😉🙏🏿👐🏾)
I love your vids.. very good explanations.. false self wearing a mask.. definitely... I am an empath with a overt narcissist father and a covert narcissist mother.. all my life I attracted narcissists.. lesson after lesson.. the covert narcissist was the most detrimental to me.. such a passive aggressive sadistic evil... it was my doctorate in dealing with these people.. I feel so free internally now.. I wrote a book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help to assist in awareness of imprints from childhood.. I never felt I was good enough.. it's been a long journey.. thank you for your insights.. ..
Wow! This is exactly what happened to me!! I was able to identify something was terribly wrong and I escaped. It was only later that I realize what it was.
Thank you Melanie! I have seen my ex narc with her mask off more recently than ever! I’ve had to go to some court depositions with her and what I saw was not pretty! It was pretty much everything that you have described! 😡 Thank you so much for your recovery program and NARP which is helping me so much! ❤️🦋❤️
Yes its weird I was slowly catching mine in lies, it just started getting more and more until the big blow up happened, and I stood there in shock after finding out a major secret he kept from me, that I went " who the hell are you?, It's like you have worn a mask for the last 3 years, I dont know who you are, I fell in love with someone that doesn’t exist"....I felt so betrayed, hurt and backstabbed to think our entire relationship was a lie. I was 30 yrs old and didn't understand things about relationship, or Narcissists until years later and this word Mask...he went off to be with someone else, his mother says, we dont understand his behavior he always finds someone new before letting go of an old, (basically she knew her son has a revolving door, but I didn't because he lied to me about his past, now I know when you meet someone new talk to their friends/family about them). So he's with a new, marries her and then stalks me for the next 3 years, talk about mental torture I didn't understand this behavior ,, but now I do he is a Narc,,make me want to go worn the woman he is with now, wife #6....
Don't think I'll ever get the memory of his full mask slip out of my head. It was absolutely terrifying, other worldly. But you can get over the trauma and the terror. I've worked really hard on myself over a year of no contact. I've had to put my armour on, because I owe it to myself to never see another mask slip in my lifetime!
When I was finally over a covert narc & he could feel & know it - My energy was dead to him -.. he actually stated without provocation that he never sucked off me.. I laughed so hard internally.. he actually admitted his ways and agenda..
My narc is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Currently being stonewalled for not being available when she called me. I had good news that my brother is having a son yesterday. My first nephew! I got an earful when I wasn’t able to answer her call. She’s just awful.
I feel it in my gut something is wrong in my relationship with my boyfriend. I've tried to express myself so much all he does is manipulate me or gaslight me. I'm going no contact. He changed out of nowhere
My cat kept biting him…he is a ragdoll…the most placid of cats… I couldn’t understand it at the time… The cat was telling me something…I wasn’t listening to my intuition…or the cat…
DISENGAGE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.I mentally step back when I must do any business with him. SIMPLE.I can now see his mask, his inadequacies, his insecurities, his same old program .
it really does seem that every single narc projects every single trait, they truly are a breed of their own & i deeply feel sorry for them being prisoners of their own minds & misery.I had so many red flags & gut feelings very early & excused & justified them all & his shitty childish pulic embarassing behaviour once his mask started slipping. And thank you melanie for bringing it to my attention that he came into my life to open my own wounds that need healing i know what they are now & that is what i'm working on & i will never ignore my intuition again, i will run first red flag, my promise to me! xox
I'm observing this in a coworker I've known for almost 1 year. It's becoming more and more difficult for this individual to hide their true character. Their mask cracks since it's made of unstable/toxic ingredients...
I was so lonely in a foreign country I felt I was going insane. Then _he_ entered. We fell in love within the first hour and it was like a destined fairy tale romance. My perfect "The One" turned into a real life horror story which got worse with time. I ended up 178 times worse in my mind than my lonliness at the time. I ended up submitting myself into a mental ward. *NEVER again.* _Fairytales belong between book covers, not in real life._
Thank you so much. I have learn so much from you about Narcissism. I have been involved with two (so called) friends and my ex Husband a financial Narc. I really need to find out how to stop attracting Narcs.
I am tired of hearing the philosophy that narcissists are broken, insecure people. Maybe they once were, but I truly believe they became hardened and instead of becoming compassionate, empathetic humans like those of us who were their victims, they are so entitled BECAUSE THEY HAVE COME TO LOVE THEMSELVES SO MUCH. Everyone OWES them the love and ADMIRATION they have for THEMSELVES.
He couldn't stand it when I would get a compliment or when I felt good about myself.. if I would share a compliment I got - his come back would be that I needed to be more humble. He rarely if ever complimented me about anything..
@@anndillard8681 To make you feel unbalanced... But also because they want to believe and pretend they are flawless so everything must be someone elses fault.
@@anndillard8681 Yep. And that in essence is the issue. It's self loathing turned outward. I told my ex to either get help or else. And I did this out of kindness, not malice. She was, and truly is, a misery factory for herself and everyone she comes in contact with. She is a broken person. I can feel for her pain and empathize with her painful burdens. What I could not indulge or tolerate is the CHOICE to not swallow her pride and get help. That was the last straw. I told her it was over and she would never have me again in her life because of this one choice. I wished her well (sincerely) but told her goodbye.
I'm feeling after watching so many videos (this is of my favorites) that any relationship will always have a or one dominate'/' narcissistic person in the relationship! I know I'm wrong but it's so deeply imbedded into my soul (so to say) that I cannot escape this lifetime (abusive mother) of narcissism that is a ball of fire I've always been in? I need the NARP program. After life threatening brain surgery a few months ago this 'true' evil person (my wife of 18 years) really went off the deep-end! Trevor
I remember the exact moment his mask fell off, but I didn’t know then that that’s what was happening. It makes so much sense now. It was 2 months into our first relationship (Ive been hoovered and discarded 3 times since). We were having a casual discussion that he turned into a full blown fight and I was so confused as to what we were actually fighting about. When he left for work, as he walked out the door he gave me the scariest look that I had never seen before and it was like I was looking the devil straight in the eyes.
Well, I called my ex narcissist girlfriend out. I did so with extreme compassion of course. She is an undocumented immigrant here in the States so I don't think she will retaliate. But, I could recieve the wrath from the "Flying Monkeys" or from her Past and Present Victims. Problem for them, I am well versed in self defense. Fully aware of surroundings at all times. Plus, she works at my place of employment at times and I have made aware to those above me. I have covered my ass as much as possible. Plus, I told her that I would not treat her badly, just a simple hello due to the fact I cannot trust her anymore. Ouch!
As a false self, what is the real self? If there is not a real self, are they just empty going around trying out different selves? What's deep down inside? Thank you!
He said he was dissapointed in me that I did not tell him before what was bothering me, because then the frustration would not have piled up so much in me. (So now it was all my fault?!) Then he denied that he denied my way of seeing things...And he contradicted that he had been contrary... ! I mean, really...?! 🙄
I’ve got two Narcissist friends. Why do I attract these type of friends? I’m starting to feel I’m better off without any friends at all. Can someone pls advise me.
Hi LittleMissSunshine 333, I hope this blog can help to address your question. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-people-attract-narcissists/ I'd also love to invite you to sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery course www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse if you click on that link you can start receiving daily emails to grant you deeper understandings and insights and you can start taking the first steps towards healing and gaining clarity to move forward. Love and blessings xoxox
Hi Melanie, how can you take your power back after still living with a narcissist and them having control over your medical records and wanting you to be sent to a hospital all the time and call the police. Please can I have some advice on how to get my power back and start going within myself to take back my life. I'm wondering if I'll be able to get my life back on track now as the Narc has twisted things and lied to the doctor to get them to believe her which they do. Please tell me that there is another way than to be stuck in the medical industry forever.
He's tried to say he split with his x because of me but yet he had already told me stories about her I let her ring me she didn't actually call him that much.
I love his dry sense of humor .. I would love to have him as my professor .. I think I have a crush on him . .. joking but he is the best at explaining .. he's goes deep .
A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies because theirs can be destroyed with truth
Right on! Thank You🙏😘
So true.
Beautifully said 💖
Absolutely true 🙃
I felt it in my gut, I ignored it and paid the price.
Sweetheart, with healing we learn to listen to our intuition. We forge an unbreakable bond between ourselves and our inner being that keeps us tuned into our feelings and free from trauma, we honor them. If you'd like to learn more about how to do that, I'd love you to come on into my free webinar:melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
I hear you Christine sometimes we learn after the fact and the good thing is we get stronger through it
I know that pain, my instincts were throwing up red flags, unfortunately at that time I was too young/naive to know that it was a red flag and it was warning me, yes I paid the heavy price of ignoring it. I learned to forgive myself, found self love and made sure when that flag came up again I listened,,,,I hope you have been able to do so as well.
Me too but still paying. . Afraid it's too late
I will never ignore my gut instinct again. Something wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it and, anyway, I was infatuated.
It was a tough lesson to learn.
Yes, you nailed it!
I had my gut feelings but like many others I had to try and justify them instead of trusting them x
I now recognize narcissistic personalities within seconds of meeting someone and I no longer attract them because I am no longer attracted to them. It was a divine plan I don’t need to be shown those broken spots anymore I fixed them.
🙌🏽
Impossible 😂
How do you do it? I have fallen hard for several narcissists and I thought I have great discernment as an empath? Why does this happen?
I ended up experiencing confusion on a level during my toxic relationship that I never dreamed was even possible when the mask was lowered. Instead of growing in the relationship to get to know one another, in the abrupt end, I ended up with a complete Stranger, an individual I did not even know. It felt so disorienting...And unsettling. This was my wake up call to get the hell out and thank the good Lord I did.
YES,now that I am recovered, confusion is an early red flag for me( to avoid getting tangled with these types).
Pay attention to the red flags and your intuition.
Excellent info.. It's called a hell ride.. Spiral down into insanity and utter desperation
@Royal Fortress Same here. Life is way too short to spend your precious time to their bs.
Having the mask fall off is like finding out your loving, sweet, caring husband of 10 years is like Chris watts and Brittany Zamora all rolled into one person.
Horrifying.
I knew him as a child... lived w him when I was 6 & my parents divorced.
I kept thinking THAT little sweet boy was under it all.
No. That is NOT who I saw when the mask fell. He terrified me so much I worry I won’t ever get over this ptsd..
When the mask fell off...I was scared for my life. I was scared for my safety.. I was scared. Thank god I’m not with that person anymore.
I cant believe it, you perfectly described what happened to me with my mother who I once adored & as SHE said "I worshipped the ground she walked on" ......I always sided with her, up to the age of 43 when I had a breakdown, thats when the cracks started to open...(Im now early 50s). The masks started to drop when I really needed her help, I helped her all my life. Slowly but surely the mask dropped more & more. What lays beneath that false Grandiose entitled self is very scary....She very subtlety & now when I think back over the years masterfully lied, manipulated, Ive experienced all the Narcissist tactics & tricks like emmeshment, amplification, shaming, infantilize, rationalization, triangulation between my sister ( the golden girl who amazingly was groomed to mimic mother the Narcissist) .....Near the end & during the discard after spending years working on property & spending my money (hundreds of thousands) on properties in her name, I had to sell my home sadly.....Im still recovering, its been hard accepting this...there is so much more to my story...I sometimes think is this really happening, am I in a nightmare with twisted cruel demons souls all around me...And most Psychiatrist, Psychologist are not up to speed with these mentally ill ppl running rampant wrecking lives every day....these academics ppl turn to for help, but most have no idea....
Most professionals don't understand this well. I have learned a lot about my mom too in the last few years. I am 51. It has taken me a long time to really understand and be honest with myself about my upbringing. I know the truth now. I know I am on my own but it's better than a false sense of security believing narcs. I have been building myself up for the past 4 years. It has been very painful, difficult, but rewarding. I love living an honest life.
I also had this with my Mother and went totally NC at age 55.
So mind blowing realizing the life time manipulation.
What I find so gutwrenching about these dynamics is that they leverage our greatest inner longings for a healed and wholesome life.. we can finally taste it, and like a starved little child we just don't care what exactly we swallow as long as the pangs go away.
Pln
They are demons,pretending to be human
Palesa
Yep.
For my experience the mask fell off fully, completely, in one single moment. It was the most horrifying experience I have ever felt. I found that this person who I thought cared about me, didn't. And we had spent so much time together too. It wasn't like this person was a stranger...but they were. I didn't know them at all, because what they showed me and what the showed others were 2 completely different things.
@@specialtwice4975 this is what happened to me. I had that feeling in my gut so long he hated me. He dropped the mask.. there was rage. But no hate. He was completely indifferent to me. Couldn’t care either way..
And I have ptsd from the trauma of seeing the man I thought loved me so deeply did not even care. Wouldn’t care if I died.
I was married to a covert narcissist, so dangerous. You are right with listen to your feelings, it’s always right. I love ❤️ your morals, your way is a great way to find who you are with
I was just crying searching the internet why my ex emotionally destroyed me for the past few weeks, was trying to figure out where I went wrong and came across your channel. My ex fits ALL the signs so I got my answer. It wasn't me it was him he would try to hurt me even if I just sat up straight and said nothing because I always got very emotional when he would get mad and jealous about the dumbest things. He would throw unexpected tantrums over NOTHING accusing me of thigs I didn't understand or do and projected all of his behavior on to me. I always blamed myself and developed extreme anxiety. Now after watching your videos it's like I got myself back. I sleep better, I eat! and I feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders because I don't want him back anymore. Thank you!
Aww darling lady, I'm so thrilled that you found my resources and they are helping you! If you feel drawn towards this I'd love to invite you into one of my free healing webinars melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so I can show you how to heal and breakthrough into your thriving and best life! Love and Blessings xoxox
Makes me not want to talk to anyone lol...
Great video Melanie!!!! I agree with you on all accounts. I will continue my daily healing through the NARP Program. I am surrounding myself with healthy friends. And I am focused on what brings JOY TO MY LIFE!!!! I learned when I was married that Narc's are never happy. I gave 200% to the marriage, and it meant nothing.!!! So when it ended I could walk away a free man.
John, that is so powerful that you have really partnered so deeply with yourself. Thank you for sharing that sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox
So correct Melanie.
It is so fake, they are so fake, a facade.
I dealt with a female covert narcissist in a love relationship and I sincerely did not see it come in the beginning.
Only after the love bombing I saw more and more through her flaws, lies and fake behavior.
I learned the hard way and it will never happen to me again.
There is so much information about this topic.
A covert narc I had a long time interaction with would watch a TV show or movie - pick up a behavior or statement and adapt it as their own.. he had no sense of self..
You can expect smear campaigns being accused of doing horrible things you would never think of doing. Others believing their word over yours and you know their the real monster. 🙂
Very typical traits they have
@@faye9973 Sadly they'll never change, they'll always be that way. 😜
So does GOD...he knows....
Highly aware of this ... you both would love Melanie’s NARP programme... it will set you free
Dear Mel, your videos are fantastic! Your sharp insight into what is really going on is without precedent! And I thought my case was unique! But with your help I've realized it was just a pattern that happens in every narc's relationship! Thank you so much 💙🦋💙
Thank you for your kind words @Darja Klemencic 🤗💜
Keep thriving and lots of love to you!! 🦋
He played the victim.. poor him - he suffers from depression.. I cut him so much slack for so long.. then I WOKE UP! All he was doing is sucking off of me.. tearing down my energy - my dreams - my talents - my life.. my loving - my kindness.. and FINALLY I GOT IT!
Me 2 exactly
Never ...again.
Ever
🦋 I do adore a real life rundown of what healthy boundaries sounds and feels like, since the narc robbed us! 💫👏💛 practice
Definitely starting feeling uneasy in my relationships after 6 mths .
First signs were hiding facts as well as an overreaction when she didn't think I had complimented her enough on an outfit she wore to a dinner date.
Awesome video and absolutely correct..... Recently discovered my sister is a full blown narc..... When the mask fell she spewed all kinds of hateful obnoxious terrible things..... There is nothing to do at that point..... I have since gone no contact...... Unbelievably a few days ago - after not responding in any manner for about 3 months - she text me saying she hoped I was OK and that everything was going well - ?!!?!!?!! ..... As if she had never vomited all those hurtful things..... Just smh and went about my business..... She must be hard up for supply..... its pure insanity and I am so Done ..... Thanks Mel for another great video and even more for NARP !!!! It's Awesome......
I am so glad you are a member of the NARP Family sweetheart! Good for you for detaching and taking care of you! Love and blessings xoxox
Thanks. Good stuff. 👍
11:00...yep! Men get snared by narcisists as much as women get snared by narcisists...
Absolutely Love and blessings xoxox
Hope you've been enjoying your 2021 Ms. Melanie ☺
(Everything you said was spot on btw...for all narc abuse survivors and smear campaign survivors, please remember you're stronger than the narcs who've hurt you 😉🙏🏿👐🏾)
Thank you
@@tstar5944 hope you've been doing good and maintaining no contact with your former narcs
Amen 🙏
I love your vids.. very good explanations.. false self wearing a mask.. definitely... I am an empath with a overt narcissist father and a covert narcissist mother.. all my life I attracted narcissists.. lesson after lesson.. the covert narcissist was the most detrimental to me.. such a passive aggressive sadistic evil... it was my doctorate in dealing with these people.. I feel so free internally now.. I wrote a book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help to assist in awareness of imprints from childhood.. I never felt I was good enough.. it's been a long journey.. thank you for your insights.. ..
Wow! This is exactly what happened to me!! I was able to identify something was terribly wrong and I escaped. It was only later that I realize what it was.
My narc husband said to me that my demon doesn’t like him that’s when I snapped I left him 6 months ago I’m finally finding peace and freedom
HIS demon hated you,more likely .So glad you saw that.
Thank you Melanie! I have seen my ex narc with her mask off more recently than ever! I’ve had to go to some court depositions with her and what I saw was not pretty! It was pretty much everything that you have described! 😡 Thank you so much for your recovery program and NARP which is helping me so much! ❤️🦋❤️
Aww Peter you are so welcome! Love and blessings xoxox
The smirks the sly jabs ,the jealousy
Yes its weird I was slowly catching mine in lies, it just started getting more and more until the big blow up happened, and I stood there in shock after finding out a major secret he kept from me, that I went " who the hell are you?, It's like you have worn a mask for the last 3 years, I dont know who you are, I fell in love with someone that doesn’t exist"....I felt so betrayed, hurt and backstabbed to think our entire relationship was a lie. I was 30 yrs old and didn't understand things about relationship, or Narcissists until years later and this word Mask...he went off to be with someone else, his mother says, we dont understand his behavior he always finds someone new before letting go of an old, (basically she knew her son has a revolving door, but I didn't because he lied to me about his past, now I know when you meet someone new talk to their friends/family about them). So he's with a new, marries her and then stalks me for the next 3 years, talk about mental torture I didn't understand this behavior ,, but now I do he is a Narc,,make me want to go worn the woman he is with now, wife #6....
Don't think I'll ever get the memory of his full mask slip out of my head. It was absolutely terrifying, other worldly. But you can get over the trauma and the terror. I've worked really hard on myself over a year of no contact. I've had to put my armour on, because I owe it to myself to never see another mask slip in my lifetime!
When I was finally over a covert narc & he could feel & know it - My energy was dead to him -.. he actually stated without provocation that he never sucked off me.. I laughed so hard internally.. he actually admitted his ways and agenda..
Narcs = do do diligence! LOL Great video Melanie. The quick hit always got me. too.
My narc is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Currently being stonewalled for not being available when she called me. I had good news that my brother is having a son yesterday. My first nephew! I got an earful when I wasn’t able to answer her call. She’s just awful.
I feel it in my gut something is wrong in my relationship with my boyfriend. I've tried to express myself so much all he does is manipulate me or gaslight me. I'm going no contact. He changed out of nowhere
My cat kept biting him…he is a ragdoll…the most placid of cats… I couldn’t understand it at the time…
The cat was telling me something…I wasn’t listening to my intuition…or the cat…
DISENGAGE. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.I mentally step back when I must do any business with him. SIMPLE.I can now see his mask, his inadequacies, his insecurities, his same old program .
Thank you. This is helping me to make sense of my narc father's behavior.
it really does seem that every single narc projects every single trait, they truly are a breed of their own & i deeply feel sorry for them being prisoners of their own minds & misery.I had so many red flags & gut feelings very early & excused & justified them all & his shitty childish pulic embarassing behaviour once his mask started slipping. And thank you melanie for bringing it to my attention that he came into my life to open my own wounds that need healing i know what they are now & that is what i'm working on & i will never ignore my intuition again, i will run first red flag, my promise to me! xox
I'm observing this in a coworker I've known for almost 1 year. It's becoming more and more difficult for this individual to hide their true character. Their mask cracks since it's made of unstable/toxic ingredients...
I was so lonely in a foreign country I felt I was going insane. Then _he_ entered. We fell in love within the first hour and it was like a destined fairy tale romance. My perfect "The One" turned into a real life horror story which got worse with time. I ended up 178 times worse in my mind than my lonliness at the time. I ended up submitting myself into a mental ward. *NEVER again.* _Fairytales belong between book covers, not in real life._
Thank you so much. I have learn so much from you about Narcissism. I have been involved with two (so called) friends and my ex Husband a financial Narc. I really need to find out how to stop attracting Narcs.
This is the BEST Video you have made
Hot and cold ,strange moods etc
I am tired of hearing the philosophy that narcissists are broken, insecure people. Maybe they once were, but I truly believe they became hardened and instead of becoming compassionate, empathetic humans like those of us who were their victims, they are so entitled BECAUSE THEY HAVE COME TO LOVE THEMSELVES SO MUCH. Everyone OWES them the love and ADMIRATION they have for THEMSELVES.
Fantastic post this! Thank you soooo much for making this. Brilliant!!!!
Smiling assassin/ such a good description
He couldn't stand it when I would get a compliment or when I felt good about myself.. if I would share a compliment I got - his come back would be that I needed to be more humble. He rarely if ever complimented me about anything..
Sounds like my mother; I can really only remember 6 times in my life she ever complimented me and I’ve been here nearly a half century.
I remember that night 😱 I thought I saw satin himself!
Hey Melanie, just remindong you that I love your videos :)
Oh thank you Daniela! xoxox
Why would it be that narcs always tell you you are crazy..? (Hint: bear in mind that they project their broken self onto you... 😝 )
They deflect and point the finger outside themselves.. to make you feel unbalanced..
empaths will self -reflect and wonder am I being this and that.. Narcissists don't self-reflect
@@anndillard8681 To make you feel unbalanced... But also because they want to believe and pretend they are flawless so everything must be someone elses fault.
@@anndillard8681 Yep. And that in essence is the issue. It's self loathing turned outward. I told my ex to either get help or else. And I did this out of kindness, not malice. She was, and truly is, a misery factory for herself and everyone she comes in contact with. She is a broken person. I can feel for her pain and empathize with her painful burdens. What I could not indulge or tolerate is the CHOICE to not swallow her pride and get help. That was the last straw. I told her it was over and she would never have me again in her life because of this one choice. I wished her well (sincerely) but told her goodbye.
I'm feeling after watching so many videos (this is of my favorites) that any relationship will always have a or one dominate'/' narcissistic person in the relationship! I know I'm wrong but it's so deeply imbedded into my soul (so to say) that I cannot escape this lifetime (abusive mother) of narcissism that is a ball of fire I've always been in?
I need the NARP program. After life threatening brain surgery a few months ago this 'true' evil person (my wife of 18 years) really went off the deep-end!
Trevor
I remember the exact moment his mask fell off, but I didn’t know then that that’s what was happening. It makes so much sense now. It was 2 months into our first relationship (Ive been hoovered and discarded 3 times since). We were having a casual discussion that he turned into a full blown fight and I was so confused as to what we were actually fighting about. When he left for work, as he walked out the door he gave me the scariest look that I had never seen before and it was like I was looking the devil straight in the eyes.
The cat wasn’t surprised
I am impressed very good explanation
I have a lot of respect for Richard Grannin, but he fell for a narc 3x. 3x! Man!
Very good descriptions..easily to understand
Thank you for your lovely feedback @Rosemary Rogers
I am so pleased this resonated with you 😊💚
Well, I called my ex narcissist girlfriend out. I did so with extreme compassion of course. She is an undocumented immigrant here in the States so I don't think she will retaliate. But, I could recieve the wrath from the "Flying Monkeys" or from her Past and Present Victims. Problem for them, I am well versed in self defense. Fully aware of surroundings at all times. Plus, she works at my place of employment at times and I have made aware to those above me. I have covered my ass as much as possible. Plus, I told her that I would not treat her badly, just a simple hello due to the fact I cannot trust her anymore. Ouch!
Thank you Melenie what an AMAZING lady you are thank you for all you do for all of us AMAZING lady 🤗🤗🤗💐💐💐🌈🌈🌈🌹🌹🌹🌹🙏🙏🙏🙏👏👏
You are so welcome Janie! Bless you xoxox
You are so Awesome!! Thank You so much!
Bless you sweetheart, I'm so pleased that my work is helpful to you! Love to you xoxox
Horrific display of pure treachery.
As a false self, what is the real self? If there is not a real self, are they just empty going around trying out different selves? What's deep down inside? Thank you!
He said he was dissapointed in me that I did not tell him before what was bothering me, because then the frustration would not have piled up so much in me. (So now it was all my fault?!) Then he denied that he denied my way of seeing things...And he contradicted that he had been contrary... ! I mean, really...?! 🙄
AMEN!!! TRUTH!!!
Spot on big time. Thanks!!
Punishment !
You have broken the illusion.
I’ve got two Narcissist friends. Why do I attract these type of friends? I’m starting to feel I’m better off without any friends at all. Can someone pls advise me.
Hi LittleMissSunshine 333, I hope this blog can help to address your question. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-people-attract-narcissists/ I'd also love to invite you to sign up for my free 16 Day Recovery course www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse if you click on that link you can start receiving daily emails to grant you deeper understandings and insights and you can start taking the first steps towards healing and gaining clarity to move forward. Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans Thank you so much for your reply. I will have a look at both links. Thanks again. 😊
Punishment
Hi Melanie, how can you take your power back after still living with a narcissist and them having control over your medical records and wanting you to be sent to a hospital all the time and call the police. Please can I have some advice on how to get my power back and start going within myself to take back my life. I'm wondering if I'll be able to get my life back on track now as the Narc has twisted things and lied to the doctor to get them to believe her which they do. Please tell me that there is another way than to be stuck in the medical industry forever.
Please forward this to the Senate along with the impeachment papers.
😂😂😂
"It might take a little while to see."
Well well, it took 18 years...
💖
You’ve explained this ordeal so perfectly in this video 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Glad it was helpful Sunny Girl! xoxo
I'm not stupid I know what you are trying to do 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Melanie, Great cover picture!
Well said 🙌🏻🙏🙏🙏
Thankyou 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 💖💛🧡💚 you are helping me to get stronger 🌞🌈🌻🌻🌻🌻🐈🐈🐈
Unfortunately I married one.
They take there time boil the frog 🐸 slowly
He's tried to say he split with his x because of me but yet he had already told me stories about her I let her ring me she didn't actually call him that much.
an attempt to trigger fear or guilt is from who?........ a narc!
Ty for this!
They are victims of a mental breakdown
Trying to live a romance bollywood 🎥 movie
Is quiet disturbing really 🤨
My goodness, this explains a lot 😑 Sigh...
They lack any empathy which hurts if you fell for the mask
Can you please address WHAT makes the mask drop??
Except hell on earth
100%
I could your council...is it costly?
💚
His latest supply has a lot to learn.im out ..
You are SO GOOD. Your language and expression really speak to me. Thank you.
You are so welcome Stephanie xoxo
I love his dry sense of humor .. I would love to have him as my professor .. I think I have a crush on him . .. joking but he is the best at explaining .. he's goes deep .
My kid came home from college dr. Jekyll & Hyde
Definitely👌