thank you for this video. there are so many videos from the "manosphere" with men trying to shame women into dating broke men, and calling them gold digger, yet those same men will want a woman with a low body count! if those men can set a standard regarding how many men a woman should sleep with, then she has every right to set a standard regarding how much he should earn, as long as she's being realistic.
Ooooo..my parents said the same! Marriage is 10% love & 90% business; if you can't work out how to accomplish the business of A marriage (where you will live, borrowing & paying back money, budgeting, how to raise children) no amount of love will save it. My dad said marriage is a wagon & the spouses are the horses. If the horses don't pull in the same direction & in tandem, the wagon goes nowhere
Let be real here, I was with this broke guy because I loved him. I use to encourage him that things would work out for him, but at a point in time I realize he was okay with his situation. So I left
Ok question? So if they are doing,and your encouraging them, and moves are being made but slowly or in their own time or progress is made temporarily and they reach a point where you can see they are comfortable for them and plodding along, but not in a position where you can progress together, what would you call that? My problem is, seeing that they are building slowly, so I would encourage, then listen to all reasons why things can't happen then I would offer to support but then when your doing your own thing they want all that time tooo...then comes the disrespect etc then I pull back then blamed for not really helping! Nah can't work, I will support,but within reason.
After dating broke men back to back after thinking that doesn't matter, their problems became mine! You will eventually be broke too, you will be stressed out too, you will need to push him to be better and work or work more etc. You are not his mother, he needs to grow up and learn how to provide for himself.
Exactly, they lean on you for all their support and validation and then they demand your financial support bc you've worked very hard to get your sh8t together. It becomes draining and sole destroying. Then they leave you all broken and broke
Let me ask you a question. Should a man date a broke woman? Just trying to determine if there is a double standard. My ex didn't have anything when we met. She was addicted to drugs and homeless. For two years, I tried to get her right, but to no avail. When she left, she had 7 trash bags full of clothes and shoes. So, for me, no more broke women. It's not good for either man nor woman.
@@SpiritReadz Every time we take on the responsibility of a relationship with someone, there is a chance of learning something troubling about them. It happens with men and women. But we don't just tossed them out. We pray for better days.
If he is a man with the mindset of being a care-taker & a provider, he will not want to get too deep into the relationship “himself” because of his present financial situation. All of the situations that I know of, in where the man was broke and he “still” wanted to get into a committed relationship and marry as well?? The girl is his shuga-mama!! No lie!!. And men know how to spot out women who are sooo desperate to be in a relationship, that she is willing to swap roles in the relationship - smh. God please continuously remind me of my worth!!
Exactly that’s why woman should never be afraid to state her intentions from the beginning that way if the man doesn’t qualify then he can run. But women do not settle please.
Problem is, todays economy doesnt allow most men to be bread winners. So if thats the standard then say goodbye to the nuclear family unit and relationships. This mentality is just as dangerous as being with a "broke" man. Most households these days are going to need 2 incomes. Point blank period.
@@ITech2005 I agree with this statement. It’s funny because the above comment is leaving some parts out of the equation. Yes God did made ADAM before he gave him EVE, But mostly out of loneliness and then when he had Eve. They was both to work in the garden and help each other.( equality) What she talking about is the punishment after both ADAM and EVE disobey God.
You’re leaving some parts out of the equation. Yes God did made ADAM before he gave him EVE, But mostly out of loneliness and then when he had Eve. They was both to work in the garden and help each other.( equality) What she talking about is the punishment after both ADAM and EVE disobey God.
@@ITech2005 NEED. thinking 🤔. Could our wants be called NEED. Thereby causing the keeping up with the Jones mindset. The Amish people, I saw dropping my daughter off at college yesterday. They live modestly and the man leaves the home to work. The divorce rate is much lower and children are highly educated. They live every season comfortably. I think we need to rethink the word NEED. ✌🏽
Can’t date someone that doesn’t work as hard as you do and if you’re broke you shouldn’t put that much energy into a relationship, food feeds mouths not love
If you don’t have a stable foundation or your basics in order (food, shelter, job, bills paid) dating should be the LAST thing you should be focused on. That energy should be going into elevating your life & not bringing someone into chaos imo. Man or woman. Starting from the bottom with nothing is fine and dandy when you’re young (teens-20s) but when you’re 30-40 years old without the basics in order people with their head on straight/life in order will be less tolerant of that so it depends. The biggest problem I see on social media when these convos come up are men & women who feel entitled to having access to people they don’t qualify for. Long story short: it’s easier to pair with someone on your level than trying to convince someone to settle for less. If you don’t like what’s in your weight class so to speak, elevate yourself in order to have access to better options but don’t complain about people not wanting to struggle with you.
Yeah, work your way up, but once you get there, are those same people still worth your time if they wouldn't give you the time of day if you were broke? I wouldn't want any coochie that think she's entitled to my money. I learned the hard way that's how you lose it all and then you have to start from scratch.
@@edwardrosario5228 no one is saying you have to be a millionaire, but why in the world would you or anyone with good sense try and pursue anyone for a relationship if your basic needs aren’t met aka your house ain’t in order (food, shelter, gainfully employed, etc) That’s insane and starting off a situation as a burden. No one wants that…especially if they’re over 30 with their life together lol man or woman
I’m a bi man that dated another broke man. And that shit is not for everyone and it certainly wasn’t for me. Dude thought because I make 60K annually I just always had it. But I’m just an average dude struggling to keep up with inflation like everyone else. I loved him and still do. Kindhearted man, but the finances take a toll after a while. It would get to a point where he would always be broke shortly after payday, would spend his last on weed then looks at me to bail him out on buying the groceries, the gas, the rent. So I just had enough. By the end of the lease we went our separate ways. And here’s the thing about me I don’t need to date someone rich or need someone to take care of me. I just need us to be on an equal Plainfield.
I’m a heterosexual man in Louisiana and and my last woman considered me broke because I couldn’t always afford expensive restaurants five or six times a month and constantly go on vacations. I was making 70k in the Deep South
Exactly. This is what women are talking about, especially black women. We don't expect you to be rich or anything. We just want you to be able to afford your lifestyle and have an emergency fund. I can't be your safety net. I'm not trying to buy you.
Thank you for sharing... All you think that our kindness will get us through the difficult financial times. What does not beneficial for the other party either for us to always bail them out
@@darncash2056bro I don’t date black males so I don’t speak that way so don’t say most black women have you met most black women yall always have some negative ish to say bout black women I don’t care what a man has I pay for my own shit cause 9/10 I won’t be treated right by the man anyway due to my black skin I wouldn’t be able to live a soft life like a white woman or a Latin woman would it’s not nobodys fault but yours pick your women better it kills me when you have bad experiences with a few black women then you want to put all black women in a box that’s just like me saying when I was 14 I was raped by two black men that all black men are abusers
@@shedrickwallace9363I don’t give a damn about rich restaurants I don’t rely on a man to take me out I’m a black female 9/10 they won’t take me out cause like I said I’m black men treat you differently when you’re a black woman it’s not the same treatment as it would be with a white woman I seen this in real life men don’t really value black women to do anything nice for them but a man will work harder if it’s a white woman especially if he’s a black man white man too
I realized he didn’t even want stability. I helped him, built him up & he treated me like I was hot garbage. It’s a difference between “broke,” and “broke, broke.”
You got this! Just remind yourself of your worth and do not settle. If he can’t help you build and has no ambition, run. Once you realize your value and worth, trust me the qualified candidates will come along. Stay blessed!
A bad habit I had was being in relationships with unstable abusive men! I was attracted to the love and attention in the beginning! Months later it went away and I was abused! I stayed because it’s what I knew! In my first relationship I was threatened to stay! I was 18 and he was 37!🤦🏽♀️ I thank GOD for opening my eyes to the truth! I thank GOD I had a praying Grandmother!🙌🏽 Ladies please let GOD lead you to your kingdom husband!🙏🏽 Love is a commitment not to be broken!❤️
same..smh let's not forget not helping with bills losing jobs bk he gts drunk oh also bk i showed him out..men can be very jealous and envious of us too.. that's when the drunk abuse came in.
This is true wisdom, because I supported a man believing he did love me in my past relationship, but it was not so because of his character being flawed! I honestly believe it all depends on who you get with. I also believe that if a man says he loves you his actions will follow, so I see the point you are making! ❤️it!
You just want his money you dont love him my mother did the same to my father went from 81k to 30k and struggling with bills so she banged her boss. I put her in a home keep your legs closed unless you really love someone.
I tried that struggle love and boy was it a struggle. I could never do that again. I helped him secure a job overseas, then he showed me flames. He was earning a decent salary and still refused to pay me back the money I put in for his visa application. Him going away soon became my greatest relief.
@@hindboss3360 life got worse for him and better for me. I decided to make peace with the loss and move on. He on the other hand impregnated another woman, and absconded. It got so bad that she went on his TikTok profile and started commenting on his posts about him being a deadbeat dad. She too also resigned herself to the fact that he was not going to show up financially for the child, but she continued for him to at least be a present father. He ended up making all his social media accounts private in order to avoid her altogether. I’m fine, I got a new job that pays extremely well, and I’ve avoided broke men.
My Dad was broke when my Mom and him dated/got married. They've been married since '79. If anything, starting from nothing solidified their union. In fact, all of their friends were poor in the beginning and still together. Traditional values go a long way.
Yeah, that's what it mostly is with most of these more solid relationships out here. You hear the commonality. The only issue is...if you didn't start off young. So its a fine line. Like dating in your 30s...nobody want a broke partner...mainly a woman doesn't want a broke man at 30, no matter what just happened to them. Its aight in your early 20s or late teens. But 30+, nobody is taking that. IJS So its all about balance. Don't gotta be balling at that time. But you gotta also factor in that man's work ethic, drive, ambition, hustle or whatever. See how it matches with you and where you wanna go and see yourself. Do Not try to force a man to be something he's not though. We hear those stories too...where he's content with his work and money...but she wants more...so that presents another problem. Just gotta find an equally yoked partner. It is what it is
I’m starting to feel used. I get he works hard but this relationship is too expensive for me. I can’t have fun with him without spending so much money. I’m left sorting out how to do my nails or hair what to sacrifice and not do cause I can’t 🤦🏽♀️
Then dont spend if you cant enjoy your time with spending money all the time you got issues and with likely never be happy because the bar isnt good enough i know for a fact if you where with a man wjo made 200k a year was with you but one with 600k came along you would leave 100 percent. Its never good enough or god forbid if he lost his job. Put yourself in the mans position your value in life to people 100 percent comes from your bank account not you that is a sad fact but true. Reality you will necer be loved its why most guys dont try anymore because they know its crap.
@@Jcjcjd-d2o I get your point. Even though you're only replying to what I have posted and don't even know my story or who I am. I am willing to work with a man who works hard, it's just stressful when he is okay with the situation and doesn't want things to improve. When he becomes complacent. Men want traditional women and where I come from, it doesn't matter if you are a career woman, the home is yours to take care of. If a man could level with me, help out then we good. But I'm not going to stress financially and then carry all the burdens at home. Also this excuse of not loving women cause you have your ideas of what women are, idk but it's getting old. There are good women out there, just as there are good men. Your definition of good is up to you.
I would expand the topic to cover a man who is emotionally broke. Don't date someone who has nothing to draw from emotionally, that will help sustain the relationship. If he's just carnal for example, it will always come back to that. It will become the centre of your relationship. Then if you ever have a legitimate reason to require a different approach, he will find a reason to withdraw and turn that focus to someone more receptive. It's all he's got to work with, but don't make it your level of engagement. Don't set up your love, under that tent.
This is really good. I tried to date someone foolishly on and off for 6-7 yrs he is literally in the same place. Don’t do it!!! I’m struggling now to get my standards back up. I’ve purchased property, grew in my career, build my credit even more etc. It has been so hard to respect him… So this is so true!! I need prayer to break the toxic cycle! Thanks for the confirmation
Its because you would like to be with him. Men can work and still not have or just want for himself, so you must build the majority for the 2 of you but him build the minimal for him one.
Heyyyy, I missed you! As a woman, I have experienced this money situation just because of how I grew up, but I’ve decided not to live this way, it’s miserable frfr 😢 You’re so right on this
I'm 28 years old, single, virgin, no car licenses and.... I'm not broke but I'm not employed neither, and I'm still living with my parents. while still looking for a job and trying many businesses ideas to build wealth and helping my parents pay the bills which I'm not giving up.
I agree with you. Nowadays, most guys are broke mentally and emotionally. I'm not talking about mental health but about the lack that most men have in this generation, It's sad.
@@fa1599 Usual dusty complaining. You just want "submissive providers" eager to always please you non stop while you give nothing at all. Standards are higher because women are tired to settle.
"Usual dusty complaining." a comment only a psycho would post. submisive?more like women who listen and work it out with their men instead of being an obnoxious harpie like modern women of today.@@Elisabetta.10980
I think there's broke and trying and broke and comfortable and they're two different sorts of people. I definitely know people who have more than one gig going and still struggle and rarely complain about it. I'm more wary of the ones who complain and mooch but then pass up opportunities because they're fine with not pushing themselves. This applies to either sex.
Very true have a male neighbor on government assistance in his 60s and wanted to persue me. I think he has resigned himself to being in poverty. I wouldn't want a partner like that.
If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you won’t have a healthy relationship with others. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Unfortunately, a lot of guys are "broke" and forced to start over from family court. Personally, I think society should go back to the simple life.. Money comes and goes. Hard workers will always be hard workers. Loyalty is way more valuable than a person's income.
@jmar385 Respect and loyalty is important but if we both struggling than finance should def be number 1. Men know their role as men and if you're ok with watching your woman struggle herself you're not a man. Also you as a man shouldn't prioritize dating if your basics aren't together
We don’t try to convince men to date a more unattractive or older woman because looks/age shouldn’t matter. So let’s not try and convince women to settle on wealth
Did this mistake thinking I was being a good woman paying for things, supportive to him while he lived with his 73 year old mother he's 47. Never had his own home, I felt bad and fell in love, he had no problem taking my entire savings ans I'm a single mom. Not bashing a man who doesn't have much but he ended up cheating on me, verbally and emotionaly abused me horrible. Last straw was he hid me! Didn't want anyone to know about me like he was embarrassed. Never letting this happen again
Been there/ Done that. For 10 years til he went to jail. Now all I here is when I get out I’ll make everything about me. Strange? It’s all about me now without you. I’m not broke on payday anymore and I don’t have wonder who’s sleeping with him in my house while I’m at work. 🙏🏾🥰😂👏🏾
Problem is, todays economy doesnt allow most men to be bread winners. So if thats the standard then say goodbye to the nuclear family unit and relationships. This mentality is just as dangerous as being with a "broke" man. Most households these days are going to need 2 incomes. Point blank period.
Hey family, is dating a broke man ok? Well it depends. It depends on many things that one would consider to date a man whose financially stable. Is the man lazy, in school, in between jobs? I also think we must be clear on what love is. No man is going to take advantage of a woman he loves without at least correcting his behavior and making it right. But if you only are looking at men as a resource then I understand why you shouldn’t date a broke man. Now if you both are clear on what love is then dating a broke man is fine because he won’t stay that way, his love for you will absolutely inspire him to make more money. And if y’all are in the imitation love zone, all the money in the world won’t likely make your relationship work. If this question even comes up it’s likely your in the imitation love zone and/or view men as a resource. People are not resources.
I needed to hear this. I just started dating a guy and he is broke, struggling to level up with his music. We have 4 months together and all my friends like him for me except that 1 friend which is a religious person told me to run because he is broke 😢... I'm not looking for a man as a resource. Love is not about money.
Yeah, we've got to get back to men have to prove themselves worthy to get access to our bodies and hearts. It's gotten so ridiculous and toxic. I've had a husband who married me with his own business and then decided to stay at home and watch tv while I supported him. And he was eyeing over my inheritance. I divorced him. I had a boyfriend that was in the navy and wanted me to support his soft landing off the ship. NO MORE!
In my case it was reversed.i went out with 4 men in my 20s,and they were all money mad.They all made me feel bad for being poor and just working in a shop ! One was incredibly abusive,and was really nasty over money,and said I was "holding him back ".I left him because he was so abusive.
At the end of the day, we are most likely going to end up in relationships with people who are relatively "equal" to us. That is, that whatever lifestyles and values we live out, we're most likely to end up with people that have those same lifestyles and values. So if you're not a "broke" person yourself, then you don't have to worry about settling for a "broke" man. Just take care of yourself and continue living your own values, and you'll likely attract people with those same values. But if you're finding that the only type of people you can attract are people you would never want to marry, and that this is the case for the long run, then rather you're one ridiculously unlucky person, or there's something actually wrong with you and not the other people.
@tuneunleashed see the key word you used was "tried". My nigga on the other hand had a good job and just up and quit the same week I was miscarriaging. We live together and I cannot wait to kick him out of my home
I started dating someone who has a skill and potential and didn't finish school.... I wrote him a business plan, applied for grant and now he's business is thriving and we keep getting stronger......
The America mindset has always been toxic and this video proves why so many people don't like the USA. Money driven country. So many people in this world only have love and can't even earn much money where they live and have beautiful enriching lives. It's a good thing the world doesn't revolve around USA or i would still live in the ghetto. I ruined my life to the point i was not able to get a black woman in the ghetto because I didn't have a good job. They all laughed at me because I was broke. I had to date outside my race. She didn't care if I had money like the black women I met in the hood because she liked me for me, not my money. We got into a relationship. She had a job and I did not. I ended up moving in with her. Left the ghetto and moved to a high level community. Improved myself by getting out of the ghetto mindset. Found a great job that allowed me to take my partner to other countries. Today I live in Europe..I know several languages and travel all year long. My life is a dream and I owe it to a woman who believed in us. And even though I got lucky and found a great job, I have traveled to places around the world where money isn't that important and things like respect for human life and integrity, peace, nature, relaxation, family and love plays a much bigger role.
thank you! this message finds me a little bit of relief. i trust this man i love. he honestly open about his financial situation/doesn't have a job yet. we're aware that he needs time to gather himself and i need to be patient with it. though i cannot help but think the what ifs might happen in the future of being taken advantage because i wanted to have a man who's also stable and can spend nice things for me. but in this moment, im the one who does the spending. only time will tell if this love actually grows or not. atleast i tried my best in the end 😊
@@clstlrYou're welcome. I unfortunately can't speak for other people. Just my own experience. I was in the ghetto. I did work there but I had to work 2 or 3 part time jobs at the same time. Still had no money because of low wages. At 30, I was living in the basement of my mother's house. Playing playstation and wasting my life. I started talking to a woman on the internet who didn't grow up in the ghetto. I had to step up my game in her community as most there were educated. Away from the ghetto I learned how to love reading, talk better, have more respect for life, myself and control my temper. Made so much money and travelled with it. I stopped playing video games. Started reading and educating myself. Self taught. Read books on everything. Black history, American oppression. Science etc. Became multicultural. I learned how to cook and make food from other cultures. I became interested in music from all over the world and not only rap from the hood. I owe my change in life to a woman who just wanted me because she saw potential. I can't say this works for everyone. Some men out there are lazy and will always have the ghetto mentality even if they get a chance to leave it. You need to believe in your man and push them to be great. Not give up on them easily because old habits aren't easy to break but if they try and practice being better they will become better in time. Wish you luck.
@worldwarz9317 thank u for a lot, I will write in Portuguese the rest, because I read, and understand English better than I talk. Eu estava procurando razões para desistir de alguém que amo e vejo potencial nele. Eu o amo e sinto que ele também me ama. As pessoas próximas tendem a me fazer crer que ele é total perda de tempo, mas teu depoimento, me libertou. Eu acredito nele, ele é uma pessoa incrível e eu vejo que ele pode ser melhor. Obrigada e Deus te abençoe. ❤❤
They will use you up because they are in survivor mode. He can't fully love and take care of himself in this capitalist system. It's like trying to save a drowning cat, it'll be very painful to watch and or help. At a certain age, we all should have our stuff together
I think every situation is unique. These rules are a gross over generalization and you should be careful making these kinds claims such as a setting a time limit to such a relationship. Talk about putting a gun to the person you love’s head that is already struggling to make ends meet. How about loving a little more unconditionally ?
Honestly, no man should follow a path that does not suit him, for the sake of pleasing a woman and being deemed "worthy" of her affection. That is just ridiculous. As long as he is at peace with where he is at and is comfortable in his own skin, then it should not matter to him what anyone else thinks. I will concede that, a woman does have the right to place whatever standards she wants on a man, but based on what I've seen in society in recent years, many women have such lofty standards that, quite frankly, will never be met by most men, either because they are physically unable to meet her standards (such as his height) or he simply doesn't have the desire to follow a path that she deems acceptable to her. Face it, the majority of women today are competing with each other for that top 5% of men out there who have it all, the looks, the height, the money, the prestige, social status, resources, whatever. Not to be cruel or anything, but unless women lower their standards a bit, mathematically, MOST of them will wind up alone. Right along with all the men they rejected and stepped on over the years.
Im 38 stable financially but my bf is broke. We have 4 months. I value him cause he has high values and morals. He is an artist but not where he wants to be. He came to visit me to my country and on the budget we did aome fun things but not enough because financial issue. He left today went back to his country saying hes going and work hard to level up with his music. In my mind i wish he had a plan B but all i hear is about his music. I value him and respect him but i don't knkw what to really do. Its really hard to find good men nowadays it took me almost 4 yrs to find a good guy with a great heart but he been broke isan issue and i dont know what to do. I dont value money but i dont know if the relationship honna prosper 😊
Your age will not allow you to bounce back after he drain you emotionally,mentally financially. All musicians cheat,All! You are needed as bed and breakfast. Where is he now?Next woman.He will eye the 20’S once he makes it as a musician. 7 years from now you will be in your mid 40’S. Hard to bounce back & feel sorry but men move on the next B& B. The the new trend because of the economy. Live off women.
@memehamp6006 That really hit me, but a lot of truth is said there. He is in south africa on a 10 days tour then back to LA. He is trying to figure out his financial situation to try to come back and visit me, well that's what he says. Maybe I should step back. Thanks for your feedback.
Only men love and take care of nice broke women. The opposite? Never, then these same women are complaining where the nice men with values and principles? Garbage everywhere
Nick had a well paid job and a private pension but only wanted to be freand. But he still asked me for £10.000 to help him out, no way did i do this. It was a scam.
Finances matter. Hard to be romantic when you can barely afford to feed yourself and the person you “love”. Hard to feel sexy when you’re struggling financially and the man you’re sleeping with can’t even help you with car repairs or an emergency tf. Men LOVE to provide and they feel bad when they can’t. Don’t become his punching bag when he is down and out ladies RUN
Not usually into love gurus, but you gave terrific advice. Unlike all the Kevin Samuels and the red pill community, you give useful advice with compassion. ❤
Yes, men are looking to provide money and resources. Women don't love nice broke man. Only men love nice poor women without complaining about. Modern feminists independent women talk about equality but that's garbage
How about when a man has his vehicle repossessed, lets his car insurance lapse, has lied about how much money he makes, what he owes, asks his own boss for money and is currently pursuing a full on relationship with another woman? This is a grown ass man about to turn 52.
I am a divorced man in his mid 60s. I am only 5'7" and make less than 50k. I am also borderline ADHD and Asperger's. I am also quiet shy and introverted. In shoet there are factors that contribute to why I havent been successful in dating.
Here's one of the reasons I'm insane. 30 years I got people beating into my head the issue is appreciation of what you have, gratefulness. Money doesn't buy happiness and I snap back tell that to someone behind on rent. If you take this guy at face value, it's not about gratefulness it's about money. If there are 1000 failures to 1 success it's still a matter of mindset. So who is wrong?
There are SO MANY old school relationships who are still substantial and successful and have lasted 30 plus years where a woman dated a man while his finances struggled. Also something to ask....is he broke? Or does his paycheck not cover the bills.
The broke man in my life overcame being broke and now says if I (me) had money, I'd leave him, so he is keeping documents that 'prove' most of what we have is now his.😮
I wish I had listened to this 40 years ago. One broke abusive husband who tried to blame me for everything and tried to kill me. Another out of control asshole who,was broke and a con man an another addicted to substance and was a nutter.
We honestly live in a society where women would claim they are equal like men when it comes to everything but when it comes to financial things, nope he has to make a lot of money. This video to me is almost toxic. Because some or most women think they'd not marry a MacDonald worker or Someone that doesn't make enough to take her out, feed her outside, go on vacations and this is sad because society now makes people feel like they have to eat outside they have to live in a big house and they have to go on vocations to have a happy life and when this is something a man that had everything together suddenly lost it and got on debt or lost his job can't give women these things he deserves to be left because he's a burden now. This is why rich men don't marry women because society made it that if she divorces him, he loses half of it. I'd much rather be have the MacDonald love that would at least be real then to have money and wonder if these women are with me for it.
Man, I feel you. Modern independent women want everything for free. Man took care of women for generations and never complained about it. Keep going. Man, don't let this information breaks your soul
My partner is divorced and has kids and on top of It never see him because he works doubles just to pay child support and when not working is with his kids he doesn’t support me in anything except he buys me dinner once a week that is it ! I am my own and have been my entire life my own financial support system full provider of course and live alone of course ! I need advice should I expect him to support me at all ? Cause what you are saying is he should help out? The only time I see him is when he comes over at 9 pm when he gets off work ! I don’t know if I should even expect anything ?! I may have always been with men that are broke because not a single one ever has helped me financially! So what do you mean don’t date a broke man ! I mean is a man that is your partner expected to provide even if you live apart ! I mean he stays with me when he isn’t at his place with the kids so it’s usually 5 nights a week he stays at my place ! Am I being used ? Should he be giving me money for staying at my place when he doesn’t have his kids??? I am just wondering why you expect them to have money ??? Btw he lives at his moms and pays no bills there ! All the money he makes goes to his kids !!! Am I being used should I leave him ! He is kind to me ! I am use to being abused or with toxic men in past so this man being so kind to me is the reason I stay ! I have no kids and do not want any of my own btw! Am I being completely used ! Am I dumb ! Should I expect him to at least pay for some of my rent ????
Yu are the best man ever thank yu this is the woman that had done this no work no nothing just giveing him the most preasures thing. In the worked two a woman. Yes yur right iv been a fool and needie. Amen god bless yu
He broke, not loyal, he unfaithful and very heavily physically abusive BAD combination. I was definitely blindddd boy. I need to zone out of this real quick!
Your info makes so much sense. I notice you say this person asked me…This person emailed me..Well I’m 68 and have been dating for 16 years without ever finding anyone who made me happy until now. I’m in need of specific advice for dating hoping for marriage at my age. Even tho your young I appreciate your knowledge and I’d like to pay you for an individual session. How can I do this?
No one will make you happy. You have to be happy already with or without man. Men are not super man, they have flaws and defect too. Have realistic expectations and one of them could be considering to die alone.
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What do you consider broke ?
thank you for this video.
there are so many videos from the "manosphere" with men trying to shame women into dating broke men, and calling them gold digger, yet those same men will want a woman with a low body count!
if those men can set a standard regarding how many men a woman should sleep with, then she has every right to set a standard regarding how much he should earn, as long as she's being realistic.
Please do an Update I'm in disabled catagory all my life told i'd die a virgin
Ooooo..my parents said the same! Marriage is 10% love & 90% business; if you can't work out how to accomplish the business of A marriage (where you will live, borrowing & paying back money, budgeting, how to raise children) no amount of love will save it. My dad said marriage is a wagon & the spouses are the horses. If the horses don't pull in the same direction & in tandem, the wagon goes nowhere
Let be real here, I was with this broke guy because I loved him. I use to encourage him that things would work out for him, but at a point in time I realize he was okay with his situation. So I left
And that's exactly what you do when you see that they are comfortable enough not to want to do better or put forth the effort to do better.
Good move.
Hmmmmm
I had the same situation... So i left because a man will not grow if he refuse to grow 😅😅😅
Ok question? So if they are doing,and your encouraging them, and moves are being made but slowly or in their own time or progress is made temporarily and they reach a point where you can see they are comfortable for them and plodding along, but not in a position where you can progress together, what would you call that?
My problem is, seeing that they are building slowly, so I would encourage, then listen to all reasons why things can't happen then I would offer to support but then when your doing your own thing they want all that time tooo...then comes the disrespect etc then I pull back then blamed for not really helping!
Nah can't work, I will support,but within reason.
After dating broke men back to back after thinking that doesn't matter, their problems became mine! You will eventually be broke too, you will be stressed out too, you will need to push him to be better and work or work more etc. You are not his mother, he needs to grow up and learn how to provide for himself.
I felt this!!
Most of y'all are broke anyway.
You're so right :(
Exactly, they lean on you for all their support and validation and then they demand your financial support bc you've worked very hard to get your sh8t together. It becomes draining and sole destroying. Then they leave you all broken and broke
Yep! After a certain age especially if you are 40 and over I expect you to have your own as do I. You don't got kids there is no excuse!
Don’t do it ladies! Not in this generation. It does not work! No matter how genuine you are.
Let me ask you a question. Should a man date a broke woman? Just trying to determine if there is a double standard. My ex didn't have anything when we met. She was addicted to drugs and homeless. For two years, I tried to get her right, but to no avail. When she left, she had 7 trash bags full of clothes and shoes. So, for me, no more broke women. It's not good for either man nor woman.
@@MichaelJohnson-nl8jt I mean from what you are saying I wouldn’t be with that type of person regardless of gender. Sounds like a liability.
@@SpiritReadz Every time we take on the responsibility of a relationship with someone, there is a chance of learning something troubling about them. It happens with men and women. But we don't just tossed them out. We pray for better days.
@@MichaelJohnson-nl8jt it depends on the time period for me. After I certain amount of time I’m out.
@@SpiritReadz And that's what happened with me
A broke man should not think about dating. He should get himself together
You would think so but they are indeed out there dating. Some don't even have a room to sleep.
They will be with a woman and still hollering at other women all while barely keeping a roof over his head
Let me guess, so he can take care of you?
I take care of myself
@@valarieford1778 With your logic as long as he can take care of himself everything is good then and he can be with you.
If he is a man with the mindset of being a care-taker & a provider, he will not want to get too deep into the relationship “himself” because of his present financial situation. All of the situations that I know of, in where the man was broke and he “still” wanted to get into a committed relationship and marry as well?? The girl is his shuga-mama!! No lie!!. And men know how to spot out women who are sooo desperate to be in a relationship, that she is willing to swap roles in the relationship - smh. God please continuously remind me of my worth!!
Ex need big money, blew us up and ran
Exactly that’s why woman should never be afraid to state her intentions from the beginning that way if the man doesn’t qualify then he can run. But women do not settle please.
Before Adam was given a wife, God gave him WORK… work, care and protect that garden before you can do it for a wife.
Problem is, todays economy doesnt allow most men to be bread winners. So if thats the standard then say goodbye to the nuclear family unit and relationships. This mentality is just as dangerous as being with a "broke" man. Most households these days are going to need 2 incomes. Point blank period.
@@ITech2005 I agree with this statement. It’s funny because the above comment is leaving some parts out of the equation. Yes God did made ADAM before he gave him EVE, But mostly out of loneliness and then when he had Eve. They was both to work in the garden and help each other.( equality) What she talking about is the punishment after both ADAM and EVE disobey God.
You’re leaving some parts out of the equation. Yes God did made ADAM before he gave him EVE, But mostly out of loneliness and then when he had Eve. They was both to work in the garden and help each other.( equality) What she talking about is the punishment after both ADAM and EVE disobey God.
Preach!!!
@@ITech2005
NEED. thinking 🤔. Could our wants be called NEED. Thereby causing the keeping up with the Jones mindset.
The Amish people, I saw dropping my daughter off at college yesterday. They live modestly and the man leaves the home to work. The divorce rate is much lower and children are highly educated. They live every season comfortably. I think we need to rethink the word NEED. ✌🏽
My dad was a POS but he did have one piece of advice for me “Ain’t no romance without finance! You hear me?!”
I've also heard , romance is a nuisance without finance. Its a hard one
Your dad and mine were probably cousins 😂😂
If your dad was a POS, doesn’t seem like a person to listen to in the first place.
your dad was trying to cope because of the actions of your gold diggin mom.
My mother, and old school woman from Japan, would say "no money,no woman".
Can’t date someone that doesn’t work as hard as you do and if you’re broke you shouldn’t put that much energy into a relationship, food feeds mouths not love
Are you looking for a lover or a caregiver? If you want a caregiver you should just go to a nursing home.
@@williamwong4040 a team mate… that’s the whole point of a relationship.
Fax I went out to eat I’m tired of paying I can’t do it anymore I’m honestly over it f love you can’t survive on that
If you don’t have a stable foundation or your basics in order (food, shelter, job, bills paid) dating should be the LAST thing you should be focused on. That energy should be going into elevating your life & not bringing someone into chaos imo. Man or woman. Starting from the bottom with nothing is fine and dandy when you’re young (teens-20s) but when you’re 30-40 years old without the basics in order people with their head on straight/life in order will be less tolerant of that so it depends.
The biggest problem I see on social media when these convos come up are men & women who feel entitled to having access to people they don’t qualify for. Long story short: it’s easier to pair with someone on your level than trying to convince someone to settle for less.
If you don’t like what’s in your weight class so to speak, elevate yourself in order to have access to better options but don’t complain about people not wanting to struggle with you.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I think…
I agree with this statement.
Yeah, work your way up, but once you get there, are those same people still worth your time if they wouldn't give you the time of day if you were broke? I wouldn't want any coochie that think she's entitled to my money. I learned the hard way that's how you lose it all and then you have to start from scratch.
@@edwardrosario5228 no one is saying you have to be a millionaire, but why in the world would you or anyone with good sense try and pursue anyone for a relationship if your basic needs aren’t met aka your house ain’t in order (food, shelter, gainfully employed, etc) That’s insane and starting off a situation as a burden. No one wants that…especially if they’re over 30 with their life together lol man or woman
This!!
Preach !!!
I’m a bi man that dated another broke man. And that shit is not for everyone and it certainly wasn’t for me. Dude thought because I make 60K annually I just always had it. But I’m just an average dude struggling to keep up with inflation like everyone else. I loved him and still do. Kindhearted man, but the finances take a toll after a while. It would get to a point where he would always be broke shortly after payday, would spend his last on weed then looks at me to bail him out on buying the groceries, the gas, the rent. So I just had enough. By the end of the lease we went our separate ways. And here’s the thing about me I don’t need to date someone rich or need someone to take care of me. I just need us to be on an equal Plainfield.
I’m a heterosexual man in Louisiana and and my last woman considered me broke because I couldn’t always afford expensive restaurants five or six times a month and constantly go on vacations. I was making 70k in the Deep South
Exactly. This is what women are talking about, especially black women. We don't expect you to be rich or anything. We just want you to be able to afford your lifestyle and have an emergency fund. I can't be your safety net. I'm not trying to buy you.
Thank you for sharing... All you think that our kindness will get us through the difficult financial times. What does not beneficial for the other party either for us to always bail them out
@@darncash2056bro I don’t date black males so I don’t speak that way so don’t say most black women have you met most black women yall always have some negative ish to say bout black women I don’t care what a man has I pay for my own shit cause 9/10 I won’t be treated right by the man anyway due to my black skin I wouldn’t be able to live a soft life like a white woman or a Latin woman would it’s not nobodys fault but yours pick your women better it kills me when you have bad experiences with a few black women then you want to put all black women in a box that’s just like me saying when I was 14 I was raped by two black men that all black men are abusers
@@shedrickwallace9363I don’t give a damn about rich restaurants I don’t rely on a man to take me out I’m a black female 9/10 they won’t take me out cause like I said I’m black men treat you differently when you’re a black woman it’s not the same treatment as it would be with a white woman I seen this in real life men don’t really value black women to do anything nice for them but a man will work harder if it’s a white woman especially if he’s a black man white man too
I realized he didn’t even want stability. I helped him, built him up & he treated me like I was hot garbage. It’s a difference between “broke,” and “broke, broke.”
Wow. Same here! It’s crazy x
You got this! Just remind yourself of your worth and do not settle. If he can’t help you build and has no ambition, run. Once you realize your value and worth, trust me the qualified candidates will come along. Stay blessed!
Thank you ❤
I wish I had heard this before…
A bad habit I had was being in relationships with unstable abusive men! I was attracted to the love and attention in the beginning! Months later it went away and I was abused! I stayed because it’s what I knew! In my first relationship I was threatened to stay! I was 18 and he was 37!🤦🏽♀️
I thank GOD for opening my eyes to the truth! I thank GOD I had a praying Grandmother!🙌🏽
Ladies please let GOD lead you to your kingdom husband!🙏🏽
Love is a commitment not to be broken!❤️
Im 23 and just got out of a 3 month relationship with a 38 year old man. He had no job and he treated me terribly. Its scary reflecting on it
same..smh let's not forget not helping with bills losing jobs bk he gts drunk oh also bk i showed him out..men can be very jealous and envious of us too.. that's when the drunk abuse came in.
There's so many broke men.
Compete for those not broke.
It’s true. They are everywhere! It’s impossible to find someone who isn’t broke !!
😢too many SMHHHH
And women
and just because they work doesnt mean they are not broke... they can have a job, a car, a home and still be broke
This is true wisdom, because I supported a man believing he did love me in my past relationship, but it was not so because of his character being flawed! I honestly believe it all depends on who you get with. I also believe that if a man says he loves you his actions will follow, so I see the point you are making! ❤️it!
This is true, you first start with WHO he is as a person.
You just want his money you dont love him my mother did the same to my father went from 81k to 30k and struggling with bills so she banged her boss. I put her in a home keep your legs closed unless you really love someone.
Been there, done that. I am worthy of more. Paying my own bills and I won't settle for less than I deserve.
I tried that struggle love and boy was it a struggle. I could never do that again.
I helped him secure a job overseas, then he showed me flames. He was earning a decent salary and still refused to pay me back the money I put in for his visa application. Him going away soon became my greatest relief.
Omg how did it go when he didn’t get your money back? Like I need to know not to ever accept this
@@hindboss3360 life got worse for him and better for me. I decided to make peace with the loss and move on. He on the other hand impregnated another woman, and absconded. It got so bad that she went on his TikTok profile and started commenting on his posts about him being a deadbeat dad. She too also resigned herself to the fact that he was not going to show up financially for the child, but she continued for him to at least be a present father. He ended up making all his social media accounts private in order to avoid her altogether. I’m fine, I got a new job that pays extremely well, and I’ve avoided broke men.
My Dad was broke when my Mom and him dated/got married. They've been married since '79. If anything, starting from nothing solidified their union. In fact, all of their friends were poor in the beginning and still together. Traditional values go a long way.
There's an acception to the rule...
Yeah, that's what it mostly is with most of these more solid relationships out here. You hear the commonality.
The only issue is...if you didn't start off young. So its a fine line. Like dating in your 30s...nobody want a broke partner...mainly a woman doesn't want a broke man at 30, no matter what just happened to them. Its aight in your early 20s or late teens. But 30+, nobody is taking that. IJS
So its all about balance. Don't gotta be balling at that time. But you gotta also factor in that man's work ethic, drive, ambition, hustle or whatever. See how it matches with you and where you wanna go and see yourself. Do Not try to force a man to be something he's not though. We hear those stories too...where he's content with his work and money...but she wants more...so that presents another problem. Just gotta find an equally yoked partner. It is what it is
He said broken, not broke
@@kerronewen3162 ? Did we watch & read the title to the same video?
Yeah, he said broke
I’m starting to feel used. I get he works hard but this relationship is too expensive for me. I can’t have fun with him without spending so much money. I’m left sorting out how to do my nails or hair what to sacrifice and not do cause I can’t 🤦🏽♀️
I can relate..
Definitely can relate put yourself first!
Then dont spend if you cant enjoy your time with spending money all the time you got issues and with likely never be happy because the bar isnt good enough i know for a fact if you where with a man wjo made 200k a year was with you but one with 600k came along you would leave 100 percent. Its never good enough or god forbid if he lost his job. Put yourself in the mans position your value in life to people 100 percent comes from your bank account not you that is a sad fact but true. Reality you will necer be loved its why most guys dont try anymore because they know its crap.
@@Jcjcjd-d2o I get your point. Even though you're only replying to what I have posted and don't even know my story or who I am. I am willing to work with a man who works hard, it's just stressful when he is okay with the situation and doesn't want things to improve. When he becomes complacent. Men want traditional women and where I come from, it doesn't matter if you are a career woman, the home is yours to take care of. If a man could level with me, help out then we good. But I'm not going to stress financially and then carry all the burdens at home. Also this excuse of not loving women cause you have your ideas of what women are, idk but it's getting old. There are good women out there, just as there are good men. Your definition of good is up to you.
@@Jcjcjd-d2o and yes I stopped spending. Only when I can without impacting my personal budget. Much happier with him now.
wow what an informative video, breakups are always the hardest, i have been miserable since my ex wife left me.
Amazing, how did you get this counselor?
@jaypritchett3414
thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up online, looks impressive.
@jaypritchett3414
I would expand the topic to cover a man who is emotionally broke. Don't date someone who has nothing to draw from emotionally, that will help sustain the relationship. If he's just carnal for example, it will always come back to that. It will become the centre of your relationship. Then if you ever have a legitimate reason to require a different approach, he will find a reason to withdraw and turn that focus to someone more receptive. It's all he's got to work with, but don't make it your level of engagement. Don't set up your love, under that tent.
This is really good. I tried to date someone foolishly on and off for 6-7 yrs he is literally in the same place. Don’t do it!!! I’m struggling now to get my standards back up.
I’ve purchased property, grew in my career, build my credit even more etc. It has been so hard to respect him…
So this is so true!! I need prayer to break the toxic cycle!
Thanks for the confirmation
Its because you would like to be with him.
Men can work and still not have or just want for himself, so you must build the majority for the 2 of you but him build the minimal for him one.
" It has been so hard to respect him" sweetie, you are the definition of toxic.
This was me. You just have to STOP and move on... 🚶♀️ 🚶♀️ 🚶♀️ 🚶♀️
Usually when it works out between broke men is the women paying all the bills.
Heyyyy, I missed you!
As a woman, I have experienced this money situation just because of how I grew up, but I’ve decided not to live this way, it’s miserable frfr 😢
You’re so right on this
Get a job
I am broke man here, 24 years old and I am single obviously and I am so angry everyday with my situation, in 5 -10 years I will make my 1st million.
I stand in agreement with you! Stay strong 💪 King
When you get up smash and dash
I'm 28 years old, single, virgin, no car licenses and.... I'm not broke but I'm not employed neither, and I'm still living with my parents.
while still looking for a job and trying many businesses ideas to build wealth and helping my parents pay the bills
which I'm not giving up.
I agree with you.
Nowadays, most guys are broke mentally and emotionally. I'm not talking about mental health but about the lack that most men have in this generation, It's sad.
😲😳😳😳😲. Wow
More than 99% are broke because of a girl . It's what i have seen all the time
@@fa1599 Usual dusty complaining. You just want "submissive providers" eager to always please you non stop while you give nothing at all. Standards are higher because women are tired to settle.
mmm ill take that comment seriously when you stop being a sloot with 300 body counts and exposing yourself on social media.
"Usual dusty complaining." a comment only a psycho would post. submisive?more like women who listen and work it out with their men instead of being an obnoxious harpie like modern women of today.@@Elisabetta.10980
I think there's broke and trying and broke and comfortable and they're two different sorts of people. I definitely know people who have more than one gig going and still struggle and rarely complain about it. I'm more wary of the ones who complain and mooch but then pass up opportunities because they're fine with not pushing themselves. This applies to either sex.
Im done with broke men. I also have enjoyed the company of men who had money and its wonderful
Very true have a male neighbor on government assistance in his 60s and wanted to persue me. I think he has resigned himself to being in poverty. I wouldn't want a partner like that.
This title should be called TLC - NO SCRUBS lol 😂
If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you won’t have a healthy relationship with others.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Unfortunately, a lot of guys are "broke" and forced to start over from family court. Personally, I think society should go back to the simple life.. Money comes and goes. Hard workers will always be hard workers. Loyalty is way more valuable than a person's income.
😂😂😂
Exactly because if it’s no loyalty. He would leave the woman when his income increased. Loyalty should be 1st than income.
@jmar385 Respect and loyalty is important but if we both struggling than finance should def be number 1. Men know their role as men and if you're ok with watching your woman struggle herself you're not a man. Also you as a man shouldn't prioritize dating if your basics aren't together
Loyalty? Lmao there's no such thing as loyalty
We don’t try to convince men to date a more unattractive or older woman because looks/age shouldn’t matter. So let’s not try and convince women to settle on wealth
It’s hard enough to find one let alone one who isn’t broke
I dated a Guy broke and survived a Housefire- I got him a Job and he got on DRUGS!
So- you cant upgrade every body
Did this mistake thinking I was being a good woman paying for things, supportive to him while he lived with his 73 year old mother he's 47. Never had his own home, I felt bad and fell in love, he had no problem taking my entire savings ans I'm a single mom. Not bashing a man who doesn't have much but he ended up cheating on me, verbally and emotionaly abused me horrible. Last straw was he hid me! Didn't want anyone to know about me like he was embarrassed. Never letting this happen again
Been there/ Done that.
For 10 years til he went to jail. Now all I here is when I get out I’ll make everything about me. Strange? It’s all about me now without you. I’m not broke on payday anymore and I don’t have wonder who’s sleeping with him in my house while I’m at work. 🙏🏾🥰😂👏🏾
If he wants to work harder HE WOULD if it's in him, he will not be comfortable with his financial status
Problem is, todays economy doesnt allow most men to be bread winners. So if thats the standard then say goodbye to the nuclear family unit and relationships. This mentality is just as dangerous as being with a "broke" man. Most households these days are going to need 2 incomes. Point blank period.
You don’t need to be a breadwinner you just need to both not be broke which is the point 😊
@@Soneelicious Yeah, 2 incomes
The problem here is I have heard women say.
“He is broke and dusty if he doesn’t make TWICE as much as I do.”
Hey family, is dating a broke man ok? Well it depends. It depends on many things that one would consider to date a man whose financially stable.
Is the man lazy, in school, in between jobs? I also think we must be clear on what love is. No man is going to take advantage of a woman he loves without at least correcting his behavior and making it right. But if you only are looking at men as a resource then I understand why you shouldn’t date a broke man. Now if you both are clear on what love is then dating a broke man is fine because he won’t stay that way, his love for you will absolutely inspire him to make more money. And if y’all are in the imitation love zone, all the money in the world won’t likely make your relationship work. If this question even comes up it’s likely your in the imitation love zone and/or view men as a resource. People are not resources.
I needed to hear this. I just started dating a guy and he is broke, struggling to level up with his music. We have 4 months together and all my friends like him for me except that 1 friend which is a religious person told me to run because he is broke 😢... I'm not looking for a man as a resource. Love is not about money.
If you broke just say you you're broke! And keep it moving and get out of here with that 50/50.
Stephan is back at it again with some good advices❤️
Yeah, we've got to get back to men have to prove themselves worthy to get access to our bodies and hearts. It's gotten so ridiculous and toxic. I've had a husband who married me with his own business and then decided to stay at home and watch tv while I supported him. And he was eyeing over my inheritance. I divorced him. I had a boyfriend that was in the navy and wanted me to support his soft landing off the ship. NO MORE!
run fast and far from the 2 steps forward and three steps back type of ninja
😂😂😂😂
Did it, don’t regret the relationship but my requirements. But in short, back up until there money is together
In my case it was reversed.i went out with 4 men in my 20s,and they were all money mad.They all made me feel bad for being poor and just working in a shop ! One was incredibly abusive,and was really nasty over money,and said I was "holding him back ".I left him because he was so abusive.
A man who don’t work don’t eat.
Do you notice men that don't work are usually immature
Bravo Stephan! Always great content and very honest and on point
Well done. Xx
At the end of the day, we are most likely going to end up in relationships with people who are relatively "equal" to us. That is, that whatever lifestyles and values we live out, we're most likely to end up with people that have those same lifestyles and values.
So if you're not a "broke" person yourself, then you don't have to worry about settling for a "broke" man. Just take care of yourself and continue living your own values, and you'll likely attract people with those same values.
But if you're finding that the only type of people you can attract are people you would never want to marry, and that this is the case for the long run, then rather you're one ridiculously unlucky person, or there's something actually wrong with you and not the other people.
As a 20 year old woman, i have NEVER dated a broke man and never will!😮💨😮💨😅
Truth. Picking up the check the majority of the time....see ya
Yeah no I can’t take it I’m over it
This is a great insightful video. And I needed this thank you🙏🏾🤝🏾.
Most broke men are STONNERS OR DRUNKS.
PERIOD.
💯 correct unfortunately
I lived through that and it almost destroyed me
😂so true 😂
Yep
Not true I was unemployed for almost a year I tried everything and applied everywhere it was hard!!
@tuneunleashed see the key word you used was "tried". My nigga on the other hand had a good job and just up and quit the same week I was miscarriaging. We live together and I cannot wait to kick him out of my home
Money can be made
I started dating someone who has a skill and potential and didn't finish school.... I wrote him a business plan, applied for grant and now he's business is thriving and we keep getting stronger......
I'm just shocked this guy is giving such advice
Thanks for opening my mind that I need to stay away from guys without money toinkz 🤣🤣🤣
Rich dudes is thinking the same from staying away from broke ladies
The America mindset has always been toxic and this video proves why so many people don't like the USA. Money driven country. So many people in this world only have love and can't even earn much money where they live and have beautiful enriching lives. It's a good thing the world doesn't revolve around USA or i would still live in the ghetto. I ruined my life to the point i was not able to get a black woman in the ghetto because I didn't have a good job. They all laughed at me because I was broke. I had to date outside my race. She didn't care if I had money like the black women I met in the hood because she liked me for me, not my money. We got into a relationship.
She had a job and I did not. I ended up moving in with her. Left the ghetto and moved to a high level community. Improved myself by getting out of the ghetto mindset. Found a great job that allowed me to take my partner to other countries. Today I live in Europe..I know several languages and travel all year long. My life is a dream and I owe it to a woman who believed in us. And even though I got lucky and found a great job, I have traveled to places around the world where money isn't that important and things like respect for human life and integrity, peace, nature, relaxation, family and love plays a much bigger role.
thank you! this message finds me a little bit of relief. i trust this man i love. he honestly open about his financial situation/doesn't have a job yet. we're aware that he needs time to gather himself and i need to be patient with it. though i cannot help but think the what ifs might happen in the future of being taken advantage because i wanted to have a man who's also stable and can spend nice things for me. but in this moment, im the one who does the spending. only time will tell if this love actually grows or not. atleast i tried my best in the end 😊
@@clstlrYou're welcome. I unfortunately can't speak for other people. Just my own experience. I was in the ghetto. I did work there but I had to work 2 or 3 part time jobs at the same time. Still had no money because of low wages. At 30, I was living in the basement of my mother's house. Playing playstation and wasting my life. I started talking to a woman on the internet who didn't grow up in the ghetto. I had to step up my game in her community as most there were educated.
Away from the ghetto I learned how to love reading, talk better, have more respect for life, myself and control my temper. Made so much money and travelled with it. I stopped playing video games. Started reading and educating myself. Self taught. Read books on everything. Black history, American oppression. Science etc. Became multicultural. I learned how to cook and make food from other cultures. I became interested in music from all over the world and not only rap from the hood.
I owe my change in life to a woman who just wanted me because she saw potential. I can't say this works for everyone. Some men out there are lazy and will always have the ghetto mentality even if they get a chance to leave it. You need to believe in your man and push them to be great. Not give up on them easily because old habits aren't easy to break but if they try and practice being better they will become better in time. Wish you luck.
@@clstlrGood luck to you. Your mindset isn’t one I’d adopt. you seem scared and unwilling to try even try to attract a man who has stability
@worldwarz9317 thank u for a lot, I will write in Portuguese the rest, because I read, and understand English better than I talk.
Eu estava procurando razões para desistir de alguém que amo e vejo potencial nele.
Eu o amo e sinto que ele também me ama.
As pessoas próximas tendem a me fazer crer que ele é total perda de tempo, mas teu depoimento, me libertou.
Eu acredito nele, ele é uma pessoa incrível e eu vejo que ele pode ser melhor.
Obrigada e Deus te abençoe. ❤❤
God Bless You🤝🏾 Mr. Stephan.
He is rich. He is just SELFISH to the core!
Learnt the hard way broke = eternal condemnation. A broke man is a lazy man
They will use you up because they are in survivor mode. He can't fully love and take care of himself in this capitalist system. It's like trying to save a drowning cat, it'll be very painful to watch and or help. At a certain age, we all should have our stuff together
Im happy being broke and I don't need a relationship either for what most woman have broken mind set...
Good premise! No ambitions man is no good. Nevertheless I'll simplify this" if you cant accept me at my worse, you dont deserve me "
I once dated a guy that made 600 euros a month never me again. I had to pay for everything litterally
I think every situation is unique. These rules are a gross over generalization and you should be careful making these kinds claims such as a setting a time limit to such a relationship. Talk about putting a gun to the person you love’s head that is already struggling to make ends meet. How about loving a little more unconditionally ?
What about if he comes from a broke family , but we’re studying to become doctors ?
then don’t date him until he becomes a doctor, you can still have a side hustle
@@LucidKay9114 🎯
Indeed, a man must have a vision and a plan in this life.
Honestly, no man should follow a path that does not suit him, for the sake of pleasing a woman and being deemed "worthy" of her affection. That is just ridiculous. As long as he is at peace with where he is at and is comfortable in his own skin, then it should not matter to him what anyone else thinks. I will concede that, a woman does have the right to place whatever standards she wants on a man, but based on what I've seen in society in recent years, many women have such lofty standards that, quite frankly, will never be met by most men, either because they are physically unable to meet her standards (such as his height) or he simply doesn't have the desire to follow a path that she deems acceptable to her. Face it, the majority of women today are competing with each other for that top 5% of men out there who have it all, the looks, the height, the money, the prestige, social status, resources, whatever. Not to be cruel or anything, but unless women lower their standards a bit, mathematically, MOST of them will wind up alone. Right along with all the men they rejected and stepped on over the years.
Yes I’m not gonna do it ever again lol and things are better for me ever since I’ve stopped.
Great advice and video. Thank you
God i feel so terrible. I'm miserable in this relationship but i just love him too much. I want him to be the one. I always hope things will change
I'm so sorry 😔
You’re so real for this
Im 38 stable financially but my bf is broke. We have 4 months. I value him cause he has high values and morals. He is an artist but not where he wants to be. He came to visit me to my country and on the budget we did aome fun things but not enough because financial issue. He left today went back to his country saying hes going and work hard to level up with his music. In my mind i wish he had a plan B but all i hear is about his music. I value him and respect him but i don't knkw what to really do. Its really hard to find good men nowadays it took me almost 4 yrs to find a good guy with a great heart but he been broke isan issue and i dont know what to do. I dont value money but i dont know if the relationship honna prosper 😊
He needs a job maybe a part time job that allows him to work on his music
Your age will not allow you to bounce back after he drain you emotionally,mentally
financially. All musicians cheat,All! You are needed as bed and breakfast. Where is he now?Next woman.He will eye the 20’S once he makes it as a musician. 7 years from now you will be in your mid 40’S. Hard to bounce back & feel sorry but men move on the next B& B. The the new trend because of the economy. Live off women.
@memehamp6006 That really hit me, but a lot of truth is said there. He is in south africa on a 10 days tour then back to LA. He is trying to figure out his financial situation to try to come back and visit me, well that's what he says. Maybe I should step back. Thanks for your feedback.
Only men love and take care of nice broke women. The opposite? Never, then these same women are complaining where the nice men with values and principles? Garbage everywhere
Nick had a well paid job and a private pension but only wanted to be freand. But he still asked me for £10.000 to help him out, no way did i do this. It was a scam.
Yes, this video denigrates broke men. If you love someone, finances shouldn't matter. Many are doing the best they can but are still poor.
Finances matter. Hard to be romantic when you can barely afford to feed yourself and the person you “love”. Hard to feel sexy when you’re struggling financially and the man you’re sleeping with can’t even help you with car repairs or an emergency tf. Men LOVE to provide and they feel bad when they can’t. Don’t become his punching bag when he is down and out ladies RUN
Not usually into love gurus, but you gave terrific advice. Unlike all the Kevin Samuels and the red pill community, you give useful advice with compassion. ❤
Yes, men are looking to provide money and resources. Women don't love nice broke man. Only men love nice poor women without complaining about. Modern feminists independent women talk about equality but that's garbage
Speak on it 👑❣️🔥🔥🔥🙌🏾💫
He’s not even loyal to him self ….
❤❤❤
This is so true!!!💯
How about when a man has his vehicle repossessed, lets his car insurance lapse, has lied about how much money he makes, what he owes, asks his own boss for money and is currently pursuing a full on relationship with another woman? This is a grown ass man about to turn 52.
😬
I am a divorced man in his mid 60s. I am only 5'7" and make less than 50k. I am also borderline ADHD and Asperger's. I am also quiet shy and introverted. In shoet there are factors that contribute to why I havent been successful in dating.
Here's one of the reasons I'm insane. 30 years I got people beating into my head the issue is appreciation of what you have, gratefulness. Money doesn't buy happiness and I snap back tell that to someone behind on rent. If you take this guy at face value, it's not about gratefulness it's about money. If there are 1000 failures to 1 success it's still a matter of mindset. So who is wrong?
And no, if you're saying don't date broke men, you're demonizing them.
Statistically speaking most people want to work to be productive.
These days men aren't willing to put in the EXTRA work to get to the reward because of divorce.
This guy knows nothing about world history. Concubines is just the thing I can come up with in 10 second. Kempt women...Kempt men.
There are SO MANY old school relationships who are still substantial and successful and have lasted 30 plus years where a woman dated a man while his finances struggled. Also something to ask....is he broke? Or does his paycheck not cover the bills.
if his paycheck doesn't cover the bills he is broke
I 🤔 think you it the hammer 🔨 on the nail. Stephan, thank you ❤️ for the advice.
What if the woman has a child with him but only the woman is hustling?
No money no honey....bro. it's just the rules to this game. Broke dudes get low level women.
If any
He didnt even have money to buy his own cigarette's
Broke men who have the audacity to have costly habits(cigarettes, liquor, gambling) are despicable
I'm reading through all these comments a yr later. I hate I got myself into this situation
I totally understand you. I am never getting involved again with somebody like that. Id rather stay alone for the rest of my life.
@@ctgal9698🤢
The broke man in my life overcame being broke and now says if I (me) had money, I'd leave him, so he is keeping documents that 'prove' most of what we have is now his.😮
In the ghetto everyone's broke except the dope man and the politicians!
He say it to me "it's give and take"
This video gives women a reason to look down on broke men.
I wish I had listened to this 40 years ago. One broke abusive husband who tried to blame me for everything and tried to kill me. Another out of control asshole who,was broke and a con man an another addicted to substance and was a nutter.
We honestly live in a society where women would claim they are equal like men when it comes to everything but when it comes to financial things, nope he has to make a lot of money. This video to me is almost toxic. Because some or most women think they'd not marry a MacDonald worker or Someone that doesn't make enough to take her out, feed her outside, go on vacations and this is sad because society now makes people feel like they have to eat outside they have to live in a big house and they have to go on vocations to have a happy life and when this is something a man that had everything together suddenly lost it and got on debt or lost his job can't give women these things he deserves to be left because he's a burden now. This is why rich men don't marry women because society made it that if she divorces him, he loses half of it. I'd much rather be have the MacDonald love that would at least be real then to have money and wonder if these women are with me for it.
Man, I feel you. Modern independent women want everything for free. Man took care of women for generations and never complained about it.
Keep going. Man, don't let this information breaks your soul
My partner is divorced and has kids and on top of It never see him because he works doubles just to pay child support and when not working is with his kids he doesn’t support me in anything except he buys me dinner once a week that is it ! I am my own and have been my entire life my own financial support system full provider of course and live alone of course ! I need advice should I expect him to support me at all ? Cause what you are saying is he should help out? The only time I see him is when he comes over at 9 pm when he gets off work ! I don’t know if I should even expect anything ?! I may have always been with men that are broke because not a single one ever has helped me financially! So what do you mean don’t date a broke man ! I mean is a man that is your partner expected to provide even if you live apart ! I mean he stays with me when he isn’t at his place with the kids so it’s usually 5 nights a week he stays at my place ! Am I being used ? Should he be giving me money for staying at my place when he doesn’t have his kids??? I am just wondering why you expect them to have money ??? Btw he lives at his moms and pays no bills there ! All the money he makes goes to his kids !!! Am I being used should I leave him ! He is kind to me ! I am use to being abused or with toxic men in past so this man being so kind to me is the reason I stay ! I have no kids and do not want any of my own btw! Am I being completely used ! Am I dumb ! Should I expect him to at least pay for some of my rent ????
Yu are the best man ever thank yu this is the woman that had done this no work no nothing just giveing him the most preasures thing. In the worked two a woman. Yes yur right iv been a fool and needie. Amen god bless yu
He broke, not loyal, he unfaithful and very heavily physically abusive BAD combination. I was definitely blindddd boy. I need to zone out of this real quick!
Sounds like my ex husband I think the sex is the only thing that kept me this long
I like this man 😂
You're right 💯❤️.
Your info makes so much sense. I notice you say this person asked me…This person emailed me..Well I’m 68 and have been dating for 16 years without ever finding anyone who made me happy until now. I’m in need of specific advice for dating hoping for marriage at my age. Even tho your young I appreciate your knowledge and I’d like to pay you for an individual session. How can I do this?
No one will make you happy. You have to be happy already with or without man. Men are not super man, they have flaws and defect too. Have realistic expectations and one of them could be considering to die alone.
Good points!