In my early twenties, I almost married a guy whom wanted his family's input on everything from my engagement ring to the honeymoon. My family knew that I wanted a small intimate event since I'm extremely introverted and frugal. My ex wanted a lavish and formal affair with 300-400 guests. He didn't realize there is more than one event leading up to the wedding. Also, we could never agree on a wedding date. So glad I had broke off that fiasco before any money had been spent.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. And also like you and he were not at all compatible. Also, did anyone explain to this guy just how much a wedding with 300 to 400 guests would cost?
Wowza!!! this one was a real doozy!! I wouldnt want to ever spend time with this MIL ever again! Where was her son when this bad behavior was happening? Crazy!!
I agree with most people, where was the groom? The groom should have pulled his mother aside and talk to her and let her know if she wanted to attend the wedding she needed to act accordingly.
And again, where was her son through all of this. He is such a wimp and it is hard to believe you went through this. Oh just wait until you have children. It is too bad my mother in law is not still with us as I would love to hug her and tell her once again how much I love her and appreciate her for the amazing woman she was. She was the BEST support for us through every situation.
I want to know what the groom's doing through all of this..... And to me big red flags I would absolutely have to think twice about going through it that way
It’s a simple dinner somewhere that many times the groom’s family pays for! I never had one but my niece did and it was at a small restaurant in a very small town in Iowa - very informal. In my opinion this rehearsal dinner and the whole sit -down dinner at the wedding reception has gotten way out of control! I’ve been married for almost 49 years and we just had cake and something to drink held at my sister’s house!
Obviously, we have no idea how things are now in their relationship, but if my family was treating my spouse this poorly, I would have cut off all contact. I get that not everybody gets along with everybody else I can't even imagine what would happen when kids are involved. I have heard horror stories about mother-in-law's like this that become even worse once grandchildren are involved.
We did the rehearsal two nights before so it was just people in the wedding plus extra spouses and dinner was in the church parlor. Then my parents hosted an “out of town” party the night before. We were trying to make it easier on my MIL. I went to a sit down dinner for 250 as a rehearsal dinner and just couldn’t imagine doing that.
We ended up going to the courthouse exactly because of this type of stuff. We had the wedding completely planned out and I cancelled all of it right before sending out the invites.
The bride should have said that the groom would be dealing with his mom & her demands, that the bride no longer wanted to deal with her. The groom then should have put his foot down & said it was THEIR wedding, not hers. If she wanted to not be uninvited, then she needed to follow what they want, not what she wants. When she pulled that garbaged, the groom should have told her that she & the others are uninvited. You show up & we will have you physically ejected from the wedding...told her she only has herself to blame for her disgusting behavior. Then said don't bother contacting us after the wedding as we don't want to hear from you as you just proved you don't love or respect me. The MIL is toxic.
I will sound like an idiot, but what is a rehearsal dinner? I will say that my wedding was very unconventionnal, but both my sisters never had that. For info: both married in France, official wedding at the Town hall followed immediately by the religious one at the church for my eldest sister, and just the official wedding at the town hall for my younger sister. There was, as usual for our area, a well-wish event where every one can come to, giving a small gift to the new couple and in exchange being allowed to have a drink and some snacks. Then, we had a small reception at a venue after just for the families and friends.
In the US it is customary to have a rehearsal the night before the wedding where the bridal parties practice going down the aisle and a quick run down of how the service is going to go. Afterward, traditionally, the groom's parents host a rehearsal dinner. This is usually a very casual event where everyone can get to know each other...sometimes this might be the first time that the parents have met. I have only been to my own but we had the bridal parties, their spouses and any family members we wanted to have tag along. This MIL was bent out of shape because the bride was offering her suggestions of where to host the dinner...but you KNOW that if the bride had not suggested where to hold it, the MIL would have also thrown a fit.
My daughter's husband and family lived over a thousand miles away from the site of the wedding. One of my friends agreed to adopt them as her friends and help them in all things. It worked well. I was invited to the rehearsal dinner and attended. I gave my friend a lavish gift when all of the dust had settled. Many misunderstandings were avoided because 1. I stayed out of their business. 2. They stayed out of my business. 3. My friend could explain Southern things to the non-southern family - who in turn explained to their family. 4. My friend is a superstar of tact, grace, and gentleness.
Lots of these bride stories come in from mothers of bride or aunts, mothers of groom, dads, etc. the skits aren’t always from the view that sent me the story
After the wedding invite situation that's the point where you got nip it in the bud but to allow it to go past that I can't feel sorry for the bride because she's just making herself out to be the victim when she was taking control from the very start.
Where was the groom in this story? Why wasn't he dealing with his mother's unrealistic perspective and demands?
In my early twenties, I almost married a guy whom wanted his family's input on everything from my engagement ring to the honeymoon. My family knew that I wanted a small intimate event since I'm extremely introverted and frugal. My ex wanted a lavish and formal affair with 300-400 guests. He didn't realize there is more than one event leading up to the wedding. Also, we could never agree on a wedding date. So glad I had broke off that fiasco before any money had been spent.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. And also like you and he were not at all compatible. Also, did anyone explain to this guy just how much a wedding with 300 to 400 guests would cost?
It is the partner's job to get the future mother-in-law under control. GROW A BACKBONE!!!
Wowza!!! this one was a real doozy!! I wouldnt want to ever spend time with this MIL ever again! Where was her son when this bad behavior was happening? Crazy!!
I hate not hearing the grooms perspective and his nightmare mothers-in-law
It was HIS mother (groom’s) the BRIDES MIL
I would have told her she was uninvited!
What a nightmare! The MIL needs a no contact.
Why do I have a feeling that the MIL in this story is going to end up a JNMIL (JUST NO MOTHER-IN-LAW) story on Reddit?
I agree with most people, where was the groom? The groom should have pulled his mother aside and talk to her and let her know if she wanted to attend the wedding she needed to act accordingly.
And again, where was her son through all of this. He is such a wimp and it is hard to believe you went through this. Oh just wait until you have children. It is too bad my mother in law is not still with us as I would love to hug her and tell her once again how much I love her and appreciate her for the amazing woman she was. She was the BEST support for us through every situation.
I want to know what the groom's doing through all of this..... And to me big red flags I would absolutely have to think twice about going through it that way
He was not mentioned so I’m unsure. Maybe she’ll reach out and share more.
I am glad we eloped
Me too. No stress no debt 40 years married
It’s a simple dinner somewhere that many times the groom’s family pays for! I never had one but my niece did and it was at a small restaurant in a very small town in Iowa - very informal. In my opinion this rehearsal dinner and the whole sit -down dinner at the wedding reception has gotten way out of control! I’ve been married for almost 49 years and we just had cake and something to drink held at my sister’s house!
Good for you but you respect what others chose or their wedding and go along
Where is the groom in all of this?
And then the MIL wonders why they don’t have a relationship!
Hope this woman never plans to see any of her grandchildren.
Obviously, we have no idea how things are now in their relationship, but if my family was treating my spouse this poorly, I would have cut off all contact. I get that not everybody gets along with everybody else I can't even imagine what would happen when kids are involved. I have heard horror stories about mother-in-law's like this that become even worse once grandchildren are involved.
Don't like my plans you can stay the hell home
We did the rehearsal two nights before so it was just people in the wedding plus extra spouses and dinner was in the church parlor. Then my parents hosted an “out of town” party the night before. We were trying to make it easier on my MIL. I went to a sit down dinner for 250 as a rehearsal dinner and just couldn’t imagine doing that.
We ended up going to the courthouse exactly because of this type of stuff. We had the wedding completely planned out and I cancelled all of it right before sending out the invites.
The bride should have said that the groom would be dealing with his mom & her demands, that the bride no longer wanted to deal with her. The groom then should have put his foot down & said it was THEIR wedding, not hers. If she wanted to not be uninvited, then she needed to follow what they want, not what she wants. When she pulled that garbaged, the groom should have told her that she & the others are uninvited. You show up & we will have you physically ejected from the wedding...told her she only has herself to blame for her disgusting behavior. Then said don't bother contacting us after the wedding as we don't want to hear from you as you just proved you don't love or respect me. The MIL is toxic.
This sounds like the MIL who wants to go on the honeymoon too.
I wonder what this nightmare MIL will be like if the bride and groom have children.
Sounds to me like the bride and groom need to elope!!!
I will sound like an idiot, but what is a rehearsal dinner?
I will say that my wedding was very unconventionnal, but both my sisters never had that.
For info: both married in France, official wedding at the Town hall followed immediately by the religious one at the church for my eldest sister, and just the official wedding at the town hall for my younger sister.
There was, as usual for our area, a well-wish event where every one can come to, giving a small gift to the new couple and in exchange being allowed to have a drink and some snacks. Then, we had a small reception at a venue after just for the families and friends.
In the US it is customary to have a rehearsal the night before the wedding where the bridal parties practice going down the aisle and a quick run down of how the service is going to go. Afterward, traditionally, the groom's parents host a rehearsal dinner. This is usually a very casual event where everyone can get to know each other...sometimes this might be the first time that the parents have met. I have only been to my own but we had the bridal parties, their spouses and any family members we wanted to have tag along. This MIL was bent out of shape because the bride was offering her suggestions of where to host the dinner...but you KNOW that if the bride had not suggested where to hold it, the MIL would have also thrown a fit.
Did these horror mothers have weddings of their own? Were they not the center of attention?
I'm not excusing her behavior at all, but doesn't the groom's family plan and host the rehearsal dinner? That's what I've always seen.
It depends on the venue. Some venues include the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner as part of the package.
My daughter's husband and family lived over a thousand miles away from the site of the wedding. One of my friends agreed to adopt them as her friends and help them in all things. It worked well. I was invited to the rehearsal dinner and attended. I gave my friend a lavish gift when all of the dust had settled. Many misunderstandings were avoided because 1. I stayed out of their business. 2. They stayed out of my business. 3. My friend could explain Southern things to the non-southern family - who in turn explained to their family. 4. My friend is a superstar of tact, grace, and gentleness.
Maybe Christa will get some stories from MOHs about the bride or from MILs about the bride or groom. (rubbing my hands together in anticipation)
MIL had their weddings bride's choice
Lots of these bride stories come in from mothers of bride or aunts, mothers of groom, dads, etc. the skits aren’t always from the view that sent me the story
I'll help with your trama We're going no contact
After the wedding invite situation that's the point where you got nip it in the bud but to allow it to go past that I can't feel sorry for the bride because she's just making herself out to be the victim when she was taking control from the very start.