NINE SIGNS OF EMOTIONALLY VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS by RC Blakes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- #RCBLAKES #QUEENOLOGY #relationships
NINE SIGNS OF EMOTIONALLY VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS by RC Blakes
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Any man who breaks the spirit of a woman so that he can control her is just wicked!
Fucking monster more like it
Absolutely and is a sorry excuse of a man
Narcissist are great at it
This was my ex and he indeed used the Bible. Saying God said I must submit. I wasn’t married or even living with him. He is a sadistic narcissist - lied, cheated and hasn’t seen his children in 10 years because of emotional abuse. Now He is targeting Christian women, because he basically wants a slave.
I despise him
@@Tend2Rose So sad! God Bless!
1. Deception. 2. Silence. 3. Chaos. 4. He who invalidates you (Emotional invalidation). 5. Blame shifting. 6. When he denies his own faults. 7. He constantly threatens to leave you. 8. He threatened to hurt himself or others if you leave. 9. Using God and the Bible to control.
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Thank you
Thank you for this!
Thank you, Ana👍
Thank you Ana 😊
IT IS better to break your own heart by leaving an abusive relationship ,rather than having that person breaking your heart everyday......❤💕......
Agreed. Stay Single and happy.
You have spoken my 💜
So true
Any relationship that makes you feel worse about yourself, rather than better, is toxic! When you are left feeling unloved, drained and have been attacked in any way, is a sure sign that you're in a toxic relationship. No one is worth staying in a relationship that causes you constant pain and heartache.💔
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Amen!!
Powerful input queen 🔥
Amen
💯
Amen 🙏
Indirect taunting and or other passive aggressive behavior such as intentional exclusion can be particularly annoying and disruptive to one’s peace. Which is definitely an act of emotional violence, in my humble opinion.
Indirect taunting is really the worst. Your talking about me but your making it like your talking about someone else. Why do people do this? Really will make you feel horrible.
@@SimoneOmotola it’s really a form a gaslighting!
@@niccolehoward2047 I actually never looked at it in that way but your right. Wow so horrible 😞
All facts
Yep. Alladat
Break’s my heart 💔
My daughter is leaving her 31 year marriage.
I didn’t know all the Abuse she’s been experiencing.
Helping her in every way I can. Moving out today 🙏🏼❤️
🙏❤
Blessings and healing to you all ❤️🙏🏾
❤️🙏🏽
Prayers
I’ve been with my hubby for 27 years….I’ve filed for divorce 3 times in the last 10 years. Moved out for 7 months almost a year and a half ago. I went back. He was better for a while but the old him showed up…again. At my wits end again 😢
Emotional violence needs to be taught in churches, because the Bible has plenty to say on it. Why was I never aware after growing up going to church weekly?
Because they are teaching life
If you need any kind of help (spiritual consultations, love spells) kindly massage me, and I will tell you what to do🥰
Because then it wouldn't have the power effects 😉
I couldn't agree more!!.. I know it would have given me a lot of insight that would have saved me from a lot of damaging relationships!!
I think bc of covid, psych education has only recently been brought into mainstream. I have learned so much in the past couple years, and if I had access to this info growing up, my God things would have turned out very differently. I think more and more churches have support groups for people, say those in divorce, etc.
When a person invalidates your feelings, or emotions, they are abusing you and they may be revealing that they view you as an enemy. Our soul speaks to us. if we are aware of past experiences and references them as we go through life, then Time will reveal weather or not your feelings are valid. Always trust yourself. Because if you can't trust yourself, then who can you trust?
So true!! 💯😊
"Our soul speaks to us" THIS PART!!!! If only we would actually LISTEN..... 😏
Emotional violence leaves scars on your heart and mind. That can cause physical harm to your body. (health problems, stress) Preach Pastor Blakes preach!
So true
Happened to me developed autoimmune issues due to a decade of living so chaotic and unstable🥲💔but God is able to free us from the chaos🙌🏾
I went on a date with a man and knowing him for about a week it seems he was pushing me to have sex. And sensed he was controlling I said you are moving too fast and I don’t feel comfortable so he just ended it with me. I see now he was only after sex and not getting to know me. So be careful out there ladies.
I experienced the same. When you identify this person moving too fast and you put the breaks on it. The person abruptly disappears. You did the right thing.
@@deena3003 thank you 😊 this only shows what he was really after. I’m happy that I saved myself from being used.
I can relate to this message all too well. I was in such emotionally violent relationship/marriage for 21 1/2 years. Ooh, but when GOD gave me HIS STRENGTH!!💥👐 I made a move the other person NEVER saw coming & knowing how he'd been treating me, he had the audacity to tell his best friend, yeah, I didn't she'd ever leave. Trying to stay in such abusive marriage only destroys the victim to the core while she was praying/trying hard to make it work for the children's sakes. I'm forever grateful for the exit!!! It was quite obvious that the sole intention of the other person was either to send me straight to my grave or to the damn nuthouse!!! WHEW!! THANK YOU LORD for DELIVERANCE.
Senerity prayer 🙏 and the wisdom to know the difference.god opened my ears and eyes gave me a gift of clarity and discernment. Praise God for everything in humbleness
Glad you girded up strength to choose you
I'm so glad that you got out of that. Your soul deserves so much better. 🙏🏾
🙏❤ God is good 🙏❤
God Bless you. That strength is no joke!
I’m dating an amazing woman, I want to honour and respect her. I watch all your videos to learn how to have a healthy relationship because this has not been modelled to me. I believe with your help Pastor I can become a loving husband one day.
❤
❤️
You are a good man ❤
People who demean others, hate themselves.
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I was in this type of relationship 3 years ago. I was in it for 3 months and it felt like 10 years. I had a nightmare when I was with this person that we were married with kids and that he verbally abused me right in front of them. That was my wake up call from God.
You are speaking to me Pastor. I’m releasing this demon right now in Jesus name. I was married to a man like this and never got closure when we divorced. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t move on and kept having outbursts but you have shed some light on the situation and I’m grateful. Here I was thinking he was being respectful in his silence. I’m taking back my power. In Jesus’s name. Amen
I wish you the best. I am going through the same and no one understands why I have emotional outbursts. It’s rough. We will get through it each day at a time
Amen!
Me too. I was married to an evil crusher, for over 20 years. Abused emotionally and mentally to control me. I'm divorced in my healing stages.
@@marilynewheelerphillips7597 I wish you the best. Stay focused queen
Learn to live Without closure. You can't force someone to give you that.
A man trying to destroy you with his controlling mind tricks to break you. is definitely wicked.
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Admonishing someone when they attempt to speak their mind. Giving a dirty look as a gesture to intimidate them and putting them in their place when there’s an opposing view. It’s all a form of bullying and abuse
God helped me to leave a relationship like that 12 days before we got married. My life turned around as soon as I left him. I’m grateful Jesus stepped in. I feel soo good right now, and spiritually nourished.
Yes exactly all of that
@@sylviajonline Women tolerate it until their self-esteem has arisen and then when it has they wake up and say I don’t have to tolerate this and I won’t
2 years later & I'm still healing from an emotionally violent relationship. I am grateful for your teachings 🖤
5 years after divorce and I’m still feeling broken and working towards healing. It is a very scary thing. Courts don’t acknowledge emotional abuse and violence. It is overlooked and diminished. It is devastating when involved in custody trials and no one listens.
I'm going through it know and I'm still waiting on a court date for my divorce
🙏❤❤❤
@@denosadavis2812 🙏❤❤❤
A great Certified Divorce Coach will assist in this area. Conflict communication must be one of their specialties and aid to advocate and assist in the are a of emotional abuse.
Same here figthing on my own lawyers and authorities dont care
Pay attention to action , not words 🤍
yes, and even more: patterns over actions.
Hard to read the comments. I always felt alone with my abuse. I silently try to walk everyday to grow. Its interesting though when those who know you see the damage I was at what should be a family event and My mom said I can see it in your face you drift off and I can see anxiety.. I pray for everyone here for healing. It's not a way to live. No contact and no more drama yet the scars take time. Have a great day Queens.
Why stay with someone you can’t respect... once they humiliate you, the respect is gone. And it’s down ward spiral from there. We can get addicted to the adrenaline and chaos. Be careful.
Uff... Up until now I haven't realized how bad my marriage really was. Because his way of degrading me was so quiet. I was used to my father being loud and scary. But my ex-husband had this way of making me feel useless, annoying, dumb and like an invisible ghost in my own home. Mainly by giving me the minimal possible acknowledgment of my existence and implying that my wishes for interaction were a waste of time and we had better things to do than spend time together. I would wait for weeks just for a conversation or a coffee date. Sometimes it would be nice. And sometimes he would just sit there, clearly wishing to be somewhere else. I do not think he did it on purpose. I think he is just as hard to himself. But I am really so glad to be out of this situation. I didn't deserve to be treated with so much disregard. And living alone now feels much less lonely than with him.
Emotional violence " they will not acknowledge what they did to you; if you mentioned it, they will tell you need to let that go, "feels like slavery of my ancestors" 💭
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You are absolutely correct! Some people in the church act like they’ve been saved all their lives. They judge others as if, they have not sinned or is sinning.
Because they are living the "church" religious" life instead of just acting human, as we all are! We are all just humans 😂 and everyone has sinned.
Amen to that statement. I believe some folks believe they were born sinless. 🙄
I dated a social worker who would give me the silent treatment for days, and project his insecurities onto me, and whisper passive aggressive comments to me, and needed validation all day every day. He would use the above tactics when I didn't validate him. He was known as a "nice guy" so no one could believe his behavior towards me. Because of his career status I knew what he was doing was intentional and even though I was relieved when it ended, I was also quite emotionally damaged. Because of my always giving the benefit of the doubt I stayed longer than I should have. I saw God open the door to exit, but I refused so my Father, Abba intervened and ended things.
Sounds like narcissist
I was in the same situation as you, and I would be very relieved if I never hear from him ever again!
I was in the same situation! But God and the Holy Spirit has brought so much healing. I’ll never understand why some people are so evil and spiteful!
I’m happy you’re out.
@@CassieAfricanQueen yup! A covert narcissist. That’s what I’m pretty sure my husband is. Mine also seems like a “nice guy.”
They will break your spirit if you don’t leave
Dated an older man I’m 42 he is 53. We dated for 7 months, claimed we were going to make it to “ the championship (Marriage) goes to church on the business team at current church. We traveled with our children I kept his daughter for 2 weeks. He just ghosted me. I even was driving his vehicle he let me drive. This message has open my eyes. My heart is still healing and this was a heavy hurt on my heart. The healing is hard but welcomed! I’ve had all of these scenario from child hood and from friends. I just realize I’ve been in emotional Violent relationships. I’m ready to walk in my healing and I will grow through this!
You can and will do it!!
Wow, so sorry. I have been in emotionally abusing relationships as well ...too many. I keep thinking about love as described in the Bible and clinging to that to try to apply it to my healing and to my situations.
I can relate. He is 56. I'm 42. I experience the punishments.
I feel you my friend was 69 and I am 62 he had so many Red flag I let that man go now I do self love
He ghosted you. Please don’t take him back. Block him and move on. If u leave the door open he will come back and hurt you again and again. You deserve better ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I left the church back in 2015 and your the only Pastor I respect and listen to because your real and revenant
. I’m able to tie your teachings in to my life.
Real talk Queen
Amen.
Amen
Same
Same here. He's been helping me through my separation for two years.
This is why I have a small circle of friends. I always felt a bad vibe when certain females apply the word "little" in front of an achievement or milestone you are proud about. Instead of rejoicing with you they are ready to tear you down. Negative spirits I don't need or want around me.
My friend is going through this right now. A man like this. Emotionally violent. But she cant hear it. She is not ready. So i dont want to lecture and school her daily anymore. It puts a strain on our relationship.
I left a relationship like what he described. It seemed like the fact that I wouldn't give into his will the worst it got. Now that I am done I have regained my peace. Thank God I didn't marry him.🙏
Eresha, I can totally relate to your comment..."it seemed like the fact that I wouldn't give into his will the worst it got"! I know exactly what you mean. He was striving to break your will completely, BUT thank God that U rose above the intentional strategies of the enemy & came out if it.... Unbreakable!!
@@ezera3201 Thank you. I am still working on me. And improving my walk with God.
This is so nourishing for my soul right now. When these things happen it can cause you to question your own thinking!
I am the Scapegoat for My Entire Family!!! When I say No To Them they won’t take No for an answer!!! Always making me feel Guiltily if I don’t say Yes!! Jesus Please help me with this!!! Amen!!🙏
You have to say NO and mean it. Each time that they guilt you into given in, they are invalidating your feelings. That is abuse. It's only going to get worse. You need some distance and space. Please stand up for yourself. You deserve better. Jesus loves you.🙏❤
Distance yourself best you can & pray for them.
Just escaped a diabolical narcissist man's grasp primarily to coming across Pastor!! RC Blake!!! Ministry/word. ❤❤
I went silent /no contact after he had a chaotic episode infront of his visiting kids AGAIN!! I am trying to keep the peace, and he had no respect or discipline and acting a fool in front of juveniles. I said enough talking...you know what you've done throughout the situationship .No need to keep talking so he could gaslight me AGAIN..I just gave him his eviction notice...and looked through him for over a month!! He played the victim in the end!
the older I get I just can't deal with grown people who can't communicate that's elementary behavior
Same
Even then, elementary students communicate better than they do.
I agree.
Oh thank you thank you 🙏 I’ve known all this but have not been able to frame and put it all together like you have ! Suffering most of this and I think the worst is how they look you in the eyes and tell you your the problem and there’s nothing wrong with them 😳 God’s helping me get free 😊
❤🙏
Thank you so much Pastor. I would always make excuses, telling myself I'm too sensitive and believing something was wrong with me. This has opened my eyes, mind, heart and soul. My dad passed away when I was 9. I'm 30 now and I've never had a respectable man in my life to teach how I'm supposed to be treated, until now. You are the father I never had. Thank you so much. May God bless you for saving lives and changing the world ❤️
I know he is mine too! A father I wish I had!!!
I’m silent with a co parent, because I was called everything but a child of GOD. Every time I let this person close to me, he tries to destroy me. Wants to control me. I want peace in my life.
This was a much needed word. Learning day by day that I can still be in pain & in power too. Spiritual & emotional violence is a terrible thing to go through. It took a lot of forgiveness for me to start my healing process. & at first I made it about the person who hurt me, but really, I was so disappointed & upset with myself for not listening to the Holy Spirit & following my flesh. I had to ask God for forgiveness, forgive myself, & then continually learn to forgive those who have deceived/hurt me. I’ve accepted that whatever happened, happened. & God will never allow me to go through anything that I can’t fight through. Thank you for always speaking life in your sermons Pastor.
I used silence when people use me for a game because I don't have time for games. I live for Jesus!
OMG I have been in this emotional violence for 25 years I have to break through and just leave I need peace . I’m the cause of everything in his eyes 😔
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Dear Bishop....you broke it DOWN!!!.👍🏿
Your wisdom and understanding is outta this world!
🙏🏿I hold DEEP respect for your ministry and your dedication to your online family!
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Wow! Thank you so much.
I pray we all who have suffered emotional violence will be amazingly healed by our Healer, who died for us and rose again in power and authority.❤🙏
Amen
Amen ❤️
It is shocking to realize someone you trusted and loved would use these tactics to cause damage. But I’d rather know. Thank you for sharing these important lessons many of us never knew.
Thank you Bishop this is definitely your calling to be able to do this and to speak about it with such clarity our community really needs to hear it.
He's very good! ❤️❤️
So true🙏
Mr RC blackes I have been ghosting my ex wife but plz tell me why should it be any different if she was the one that broke up with me to have her cake and eat it. I leter come to find out she was dating another person and was sleeping with him before she moved out of our house.and she wants me to be her friend and talk to her even when comes to see our kids I guess she was a big deception after 15 years to the point that I had to grieve her memory from my mind and now she is practically dead to me and yes I do pray 🙏🪆🙏 for her daily.
I can't be more encouraged to see this being taught to us, followers of Christ. We SO need this! Thank you! 🙏
❤️❤️🙏🏾
I absolutely love listening to you! You've helped me so much since I left my emotionally abusive ex. He always used the Bible as emotional abuse. He'd call me harsh names and then say the Bible warns about going to bed mad...emotional manipulation at its finest
Someone who doesn’t take responsibility for the hurt they did to you, is still aiming the gun at you.
I’ve had that happen to me too,, about saying they are going to do themselves in!!! I went to counseling on that and the counselor told me look in the mirror and tell yourself I am Not Responsible for anyone’s actions but My Own!!! And that is so True Indeed!!
The theme song gets me every time! Dave Hollister did his hood singing on that.
I love it
What’s the name of the song? It is very nice 👍🏾
I was wondering if that was him!! Beautiful song!
@@mstete7411 “She”
I needed to hear this. I left him. He said he heard a scripture that said if he didn't abuse in abundance its ok? Self proclaimed a godly man. He was horribly abusive.
PURE EXCELLENCE PASTOR!!! JUST PURE EXCELLENCE!!! WHAT A POWERFUL TEACHING!!!! I HAVE NEVER HEARD IT PUT IN THIS CONTEXT EITHER BUT EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE IS THE PROPER TERMINOLOGY!!! TY PASTOR PLEASE GO INDEPTH ON ANOTHER VIDEO ON THIS TOPIC.....NEVER EVER WORRY ABOUT BEING TOO LONG WITH SUCH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!! TY YOU.❤❤😘😘
God placed this in my heart at the right moment. after almost a 4 year relationship. it has finally ended. I allowed him to control my mind and spirit. it finally hit me when he reconnected with a woman he did the same too years ago! your messages is helping me heal while hurting at the same time!
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Im am so happy you made this video. I relate so much . Spent 7 years of my 20s with a narcissist.
He abused me in every way but the physical ( Emotionally, sexually & spiritual).
Thank God for waking me from that coma 🙏🏾
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I think a parental series on emotional violence would be helpful. God Bless.
As a rape victim it’s hard to heal from. It’s usually people you know. Great video❤
I really need this message. I’m currently going through my healing process. Some of this video was about me. As soon as you started talking about chaos I knew that was me. I’m changing but it’s been hard to forgive myself. I feel like this video helped me forgive myself. I’m in an emotionally violent marriage now. I’m working on leaving. My gut told me not to marry him but I still did anyway. I was disobedient. I’m thankful for your messages.
Listening to your message about people uses the Bible to inflict emotional violence is so true to the core. A person I know would constantly state this one scripture to manipulate. That angers me so much. Beware of individuals that uses the Bible scriptures to manipulate and control your life.
Experienced all of this. I love how you explain it in detail. So on point. You’re helping a lot of people see the light and get free.
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This is brilliant! Thank you RC.
Thank you Lord!
To this day I have problems making decisions, I am getting better but gradually learning that I can trust myself to make good decisions instead of feeling stuck and scared.
Pastor as I sit here and let my heart break, please help me get away from this toxic man. Even after watching all your videos I still can't heal what's wrong with me? God please help me!!! I surrender please take it away!!
Psalm 18..Lord Will Deliever you. He hears your cry! I am asking God for your breakthrough, healing, and ability to forgive. You can do this love. Abba Father has your back.
Thank you for sharing tonight, I just cried all thru the secession because you were describing what the ex did to me before the divorce not only did he do that went along with his family in smearing me in the meanest way all that really hurt & still hurts, I realize now I never really healed , you made me realize my self esteem is low & feeling I don't deserve anything. I cried so much i thought I had it all together , I had a feeling something wasn't right but tonight I finally realized what it is & understand why I don't want anyone near me, emotional abuse is so awful - now I'm going to work on myself to heal with God's help🙏 keep teaching , I for one need it. Thanks from California😊🦋💖
@R Ann Green thank you Ms. Green for the Godly encouragement, it's a big help. Many blessings & love go your way, you have a beautiful heart too- Debbie M.🙏💖😊
I thank God for recognizing and bringing me out of a horrible place many years ago. Thank you Pastor Blakes
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I couldn’t wait to listen to this. This really ministered to my soul. I just ended a 10 year “ship” not sure how to define it. It has taken a toll on me in every area in my life. I feel so alone. I wish I could meet you and your wife and sit under your leadership. I am praying and asking God to surround me with kingdom family. I need a hug. Praying for healing and breakthrough for us all who are going through this hurt and pain in this season.
GM as Long as you are seeking TRUTH AND TRUSTING IN GOD HE WILL SHOW UP IN WAYS U WONT BELIEVE GIVE YOURSELF THE TIME TO HEAL FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR WHAT U HAVE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN TO U AND ALSO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR THE THINGS U DIDNT KNOW WAS HAPPENING OR U THOUGT WAS GOOD AND RIGHT THINGS HAPPEN TO MAKE US STRONGER AWAKEN AND MORE SUBMISSIVE TO GOD HE CAN REALLY DO THE GREAT WORK IN US WHEN WERE BROKE AND HE HAD OUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION AND FOCUS HE HAS IS HANDS AND ANGELS ENCAMPED AROUND YOU AND HES NOT ONLY CARRYING U BUT LOVING N HUGGING YOU AS WELL MAY GOD CONTINUE TO COVER AND BLESS U STAY CONNECTED TO HIM KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND STAY IN THE FIGHT YOUR VICTORY IS HERE 🙏🏾😇💩
Hugs to you , keep your head up and lean on Jesus, he is love ❤️
This too shall pass. Jesus loves you. 🤗🙏❤
BIG hug and prayer for you! God is our strength and redeemer... Surrender all of your pain to Him. You are worthy of love the right way! Peace & many blessings🙏🏽
@@anitareeves8825 thank you! ☺️
I listened to this video 5 times! Then one more time and wrote down all the nine points. The Lord knows that I lived every one of those points. I wish someone would have told me this before. Instead I spent a lot of times in Womens safe houses, psych wards, counseling, drugs, and lies. I had four children so I decided no matter what he wasn’t going to kick me out of my house and sue me for abandonment. I survived it all after 40 years. I’m divorced now, happy, and have my house and children. He’s gone and without a word for the last six years. How do you know all of this? Your words and my being able to release to you this congressional that lived with this has caused me freedom to express myself when I never could have. Who lives like this and who would believe me? Only you. Thank you RC Blake’s for doing this video. By far it’s been the most impactful as years are streaming down my face. Thank you. Amen.
*congressional - confession
*years - tears
There is nothing more vile than seeing a woman with bruises on her body from a man Or looking in the mirror and seeing them left on your body. Not your fault u met a sick stronger person that lashed out at you Always leave safely if u can because it could end up worse never gets better and u cant fix them Violence has no place in a relationship You CANT LOVE A MAN YOU FEAR
He’s talking about emotional abuse tho
All abuse is wrong
The emotional bruises are worse. They don’t turn blue and disappear. EB linger on hidden by regret, embarrassment, and denial years after a breakup. My best friend helped me thru my dilemma and broken consciousness. Pastor is right about healing. I overlooked the most amazingly gentle and loving man for years. Now I realize that My precious time was wasted on these pitiful people and my life is magnificent now. Thank you Pastor for enlightening us. You are Oh So Loved and Appreciated. Be Blessed with Heaven’s best
@patforeman9576 emotionsl abuse is terrible but I'm sorry that physical abuse can kill u instantly so physical abuse is #1 he not gonna break u down slowly he gonna intentionally or unintentionally kill u by putting his hands on u...never get that confused! 🤗
It is true that toxic behaviors are adopted just to deal with the toxic person in your life.
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Your message spoke volumes and resonated deeply to what I am going through right now. I have one foot out and this message just made take the other foot out. Thank you Bishop!!! 💯❤
This is a very powerful message from Pastor Blakes. It speaks to the reality of what I have dealt with. Questioning my discernment, my intelligence; all resulting from a very deceptive relationship with an immature man.
Its true Only God can open this escaping door, but baby you have to run through it! I am a mother of six children...still processing abusive past marriage and growing up in a disfunctonal family without contact with my father who died when i was 11. Only God and my Grandma and grandpa and some other relatives where my strength. Thank God and some people that i manage to be a mother and teacher at school as my passionate profession.
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Amen Amen Amen. Thank you! I say this partially embarrassed. You’re the Father I always wished I had. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom! Blessings to you & your family…. 💯
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I wish you had the feature on here called clips. It would help me save 60sec of ur message. That I can reflect on later. Ur messages saves life's... when our minds tell us your all alone and the dark makes u believe know one will,wants to, can and will not understand what your going through... deep
You actually can create a clip,I do it quite often from his videos
Yes that ugly sneer they give you speaks volumes. Time to go! ✌🏽
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Pastor Blakes, you've just answered my prayers. I now better understand why my relationships with my sisters are that bad. They have wronged me, but I stuffed my feelings and emotions to preserve the family unit. I no longer want to hide what they did to me. They will have to assume it, to admit what they did and apologise, before they get back into my life. I'm now taking care of my mental health, and no one deserves to suffer as I did. I must no longer keep up appearances. Pray for me! Be blessed you and Lisa. Thank you a thousand times.
I thought of my emotionally abidive sisters too. I am their scapegoat. I pray for strength and clarity for my mental health too.
Thank you for the Word tonight Bishop. I am going through emotional violence and narcissist abuse. Have a Blessed wonderful night. You are a Blessing AMEN🙏❤
This message is absolute fire from GOD.
So many takeaways from this timely message.
There has got to be a part 2 because this is just touching the surface,
Now I see why predatory men always blame older women as to why they love younger women.
Please repost this message to your social media accounts.
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Thank you! I am so excited about this information I’ve lived it and it really is a self destructive situation. Thank you again passing on. 🙏🏼❤️
My mother hit all nine signs!!! She says, “The Bible said to honor your mother and your father. It didn’t say whether they are honorable or not.” She knows her behavior for my whole life has not been worthy of honor, however, I still give her honor and respect, but at 60 years old, I’m exhausted. I read that even a rock disintegrates with time with a continuous drip of water. My husband and daughter need me, so I’m completely turning her over to God, and the situation will be what it will be. May God bless and keep everyone who is dealing with family members who are emotionally violent. ❤🙏
ARS, I'm 58 & your story is a mirror image of mine. I am sorry that U R still having this experience with your Mother...May God continue to guide you & bless U with His peace.
@@ezera3201 Thank you so much! May God do the same for you!🙏❤️
Super uplifting 👋🏽 👋🏽 opening song. Much appreciate the loving words of tribute.❤️
Thank you.🌺 God bless you.
And this is whyyyyy this man is the best. His last point👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
A man of God sitting in front of us women (and gentlemen) stating that some people are using the word of God mistranslating it to control/abuse/hurt us. Do u understand how big that is for someone to admit.
I have been thru soooo much trauma/drama in the past yr but I built a stronger relationship God and all Pastor Blakes vids have really helped me save my life. U are truly God send sir🥹
My family treats me like that completely invisible and always want me to be the help. I even noticed that spirit was following me in other work entertainment and otherwise🇯🇲
Women remain silent because we’re pissed off and can’t blow our stacks in front of the children
I wish I didn’t when my kids were younger.
Can’t wait to listen 🙏🏾
You know, as a teen/young adult I used to get so angry when people did these things. I was SO quick to cut off. I ran FAST. I always said “they know what they did.”
Over years people started reacting to me cutting off and running quick. I thought that meant *I* was the problem. I started staying.
No, the problem was the men around me. I was correct. I just hadn’t learned yet to interact with the RIGHT men, and not cutting off THESE men created a huge problem for me.
Good day all. Thank you RC Blake's junior for your awesome and powerful messages, prayers and scriptures. May the Lord continue to bless, guide, lead, protect shield and watch over you Lisa, children and family always. Be and stay blessed always 🙏❤️
Home boy tried that with me.with the holy spirit I over came.HE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS CHOSEN.I CRIED OUT TO MY FATHER.HE GUIDED ME.AND I OVERCAME
i just broke up with my bf( now ex) bc of emotional abuse.... i begged him to go to therapy - didnt wanna and doesnt wanna go... i snapped & broke up with hom on his birthday( this was NOT planned) i just couldnt take it and his energy was weird- very unappreciative - felt some kinda way bc he was always taking previous ex on vacations but hes never had a woman take him on vacations and recvd presents!! - 😳😳😳😳 lol.... u nvr heard of a grown- successful- engineer complain abt that ... i nvr heard a man say that... its true u do learn something new everyday lol ... 😅
That's how most man he probably what's going to manipulate the therapist and he knew it was going to be a waste his time lol ...at the end of the day with men it's either you go accept them for there bs or not ...I'm good I'm single at peace
I listen to your videos every night before bed.
Me too. The best therapy ever.
Thank you Pastor Blakes for bringing to light what I experience with the husband's silence. Thank God he strengthens me day by day. God bless you and First Lady Lisa.
I was i greste pain
After yesturday teaching had revelation, brought light on self hate i didnt see i had and today pain reduced, day without pain killers.
You are greate man!
Preach this Pastor, #3-Chaos, so true, they love to see you in misery at all times
I am so grateful that we still have a few good men like Bishop Blake’s that can teach us/ remind us women about these things. Thank you.
9 signs of Emotional violent relationships
The basic definition of violence is that which uses or involved physical force intended to hurt damage or even kill someone or something. Now here in 2022, we have evolved to understand that hurt and damage are created on spiritual and emotional levels as well as on physical levels. In fact emotional and spiritual and even psychological damage is created far more frequently than the physical impact of hurting the body or the physical aspects of a person's life.
Emotional violence is something that is done intentionally to hurt or destroy a person's soul or to break a person's spirit because abusing a person's body is sometimes of less consequence than destroying their soul. Emotional Violence has a more permanent impact on a person's life than physical violence.
Emotional violence is mostly passive aggressive and humiliating. It is mental maneuvers that are designed to create confusion in you and make you think less of yourself. It's designed to create insecurity in you, self-doubt and it creates emotional paralysis where the person that is emotional violent towards you puts you in a place where you can't even make a decision. You're just kind of stuck because psychological warfare and emotional maneuvers are being used and they are quite often stealth-like…you don't see, you don't pick it up on your radar but the impact of it is undeniable because emotional violence crushes the spirit. A healthy spirit conquers adversity but what can you do when the spirit is crushed?
Emotionally violent people are unpredictable. They never allow you to have any sense of stability in the relationship. Everything is unpredictable and it's usually a relationship that is filled with pressure. It does not allow you to relax and you’re always pushed to do things that you're not comfortable with.
Here are a few things that can be identified a emotional violence deception
1. When a person intentionally leads you to believe one thing, when it's really another thing
It's amazing, how the human psyche works you know. A person is constantly abusing us and destroying us and somehow we feel like we got to save the abuser who is generally a person in an esteemed position. Every time you allow this person to deceive you what is going on is that your soul is sinking lower and lower and your self-esteem is emptying more and more because deception is emotional violence. It causes you to question your personal value, your own intelligence and it makes you skeptical about other relationships moving forward.
It’s people that deceived you in your past that really become the greatest stumbling block in your present relational experiences. One doesn’t even realize it's the deception from the past that's preventing you from being able to trust somebody now.
2. When a person wants to confuse your mind they go silent
This is done by people with whom you have an established relationship. They use silence as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional rejection. It almost makes you second guess and silences you into surrender because silence is like ghosting you in plain sight. I will show you how much you don't matter. I will walk around this house and I’m not going to speak to you for days. It is as if I’m saying to you without saying to you i reject you, you're nothing to me, and you don't matter. You're invisible and I don't know.
People usually use silence when they know you need closure or answers. They know you're confused, they know you have questions and they refuse to give it to you.
3. Chaos
Many people are addicted to chaos. They have had to live in with certain dysfunctional parents, moms and dads violent towards one another, constant cursing and drama. They get addicted to chaos and create it for everyone around them around. You might have a BBF or BF like that and since you've been with this individual you got to have a therapist and medicine to manage life. It's far better to be healthy and happy by yourself than to be in chaos with someone else or just to have a warm chaotic body in the bed with you in the wintertime…it's not worth it.
Proverbs 22: 24 and 25 says, make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man thou shall not go lest thou learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul
When you allow chaotic people to set up residence in your life, you take on their tendencies. You adopt their drama, you adopt their anxieties, and you adopt their prejudices because chaotic people with the chaos can really create a soul tie with you. You live in that dysfunction so long that when you're brought back to a functional situation you don't even know how to appreciate it because a person that is chaotic and just creating issues and situations is changing you. They seem to never be happy apart from things going haywire as if they're perfectly fine when things are just all out of order. They heap unbelievable levels of stress onto you and everyone connected to them. You know you don't want anybody in your life that disrupts your peace if people can't at least bring you peace you don't need them in your world.
4. The person that invalidates you
This person trivializes your feelings when you're hurting and they don't recognize your accomplishments when you succeed. Invalidation is painful and sometimes it's unintentional but most of the time is intentional but whichever the case it is a sign of emotional abuse. If you feel invalidated by anyone you shouldn't continue to be in their radar.
See all of us to some extent invalidate one another unintentionally so if it's a mistake then it's our responsibility to say, “Please don’t say that to me again cause this is how you make me feel when you say xyz”. But now if I come back and I do it again and I do it again and I do it again then that lets you know that I am intentionally minimizing you.
5. Blame shifting is emotional violence
In other words they accuse you of being the reason for their misfortune or their mishaps. They don't own any of their own stuff and they blame you to create guilt so rather than accept their own stuff, their own failures, they'll shift the blame to you and they'll camp out in your guilt and they'll even tell the world well you know what I would have been… if she had just supported me?
A scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the wrong doings, mistakes and faults of others. Many of us have been in the middle of emotional violence because when you are scapegoated you bear the consequences of the oppression…the pain for the things you didn't create and you walk around carrying all this stuff like it’s one of your limbs.
6. Emotional violence when a person denies their own faults
They're in the middle of a relationship with you and they do you wrong and they have yet till today to come to you and apologize. They won't even recognize it and they won't even acknowledge it. They will not own the things they do to hurt you. Just deny their faults and move on like things are normal. They slap you in the face and then tomorrow morning they show up for breakfast like everything's normal ….gooooooooooood morning!!!
The only way to stay with a person that wrongs you and never apologizes or recognizes it is to see yourself as worthless. Every day you feel you are worth less and less and less and you'll eventually begin to conclude that it's just the way that YOU see it and it's not them. You will have to devalue yourself as a person and subtract from your own perspective of your value
7. A person who is constantly threatening to leave you unless you do what they say
I’m gonna leave you, I'm gonna leave you well, you don't have to threaten me with a good time…here are your bags here's the 15 bucks that you came here with. Give me my key and get to moving. I ain't going nowhere.
8. They threaten to hurt themselves or others
You get trapped in that thing, I am scared if I make a move they're gonna hurt themselves so you stay in a dysfunctional relationship for years until you're as old as old mother hubbard! A person who might really do damage to themselves usually doesn't talk about it. Please don’t get locked into that allowing them to manage you emotionally. There's no point in that.
9. Using God and the bible to control you
There are people all around us who misappropriate the scripture. They use God and fear tactics to get people to do what they want them to do. If a brother say well the bible says you're supposed to submit to me as your husband well you got to look at the verse that says the man should honor the woman to the point that he loves his woman like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. The bible also talks about how the man should not hurt the woman because you know what man in his right mind would hurt his own body… the woman is to be viewed as your own body but we take the scripture and we use it and it's emotionally violent.
You can’t use the bible to beat someone into submission. You cannot lift a text out of context and then use it to manage and manipulate others. It's not God, it's not right, it's not healthy and it's not in order
This is my life and it's killing me. I exist but not living. I need help
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was subjected to this for over 2 decades, but God granted grace & mercy 2 go free & I've never looked back! Bishop R.C. Blakes, U explain this with such clarity & truth...thank you Sir
I was in such relationship for 22 good years with five children, he even have a child outside, I took the child as my own son, I feed him, clothes him, train the five children till date, last year here,he married to US base woman with two kids, lift me with the children, I was hurt and broken but God actually heal me and give me the strength to move on, I hustle day and night to care and train my children, God is so faithful to me and the children, he never cares about the children, but I am grateful to God.
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22 yrs with no marriage??
this was a concept I had never heard about and my god did it open up my eyes. thank you.
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The blame shifting is definitely in my family. So sad that the church doesnt offer counseling as they did in the past and when some do, they charge, which poor people cant afford.
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Wow! This video is so eye opening💥God help us all to be able to identify those abusive and violent emotionally relationships🙏