I am a 77 year old women and this young lady adds a ray of sunshine to my life. Please don’t quit, I love seeing your journey. Not the weight loss journey but the life journey. You have a wonderful sense of humor and love your content.
Well said , This young woman is adorable , no bull s**t , I am 54, and love everything this lady does, never in my wildest dreams would I judge her , 😘
Exactly. Don't give up. You deserve to be healthy & conquer (or better handle) your vulnerability. This is a battle between you and how you cope. Binge occasionally -shit, who doesn't- but of it's for a coping habit instead of just occasionally enjoying yourself, then that's where we worry about you. You are *chef kiss* Our gem Sending a big hug your way
all of this but what fascinates me most is that you are searching for answers and you do not stop because it becomes uncomfortable or awkward even if literally the entire world may watch you.
I think it’s more difficult. I feel more judged as if i am greedy and lazy whereas there seems to be more sympathy for someone addicted to alcohol. Maybe it’s just more understood therefore seems more acceptable. I want to hide in shame at my food addiction but unfortunately my weight gives it away. There is no hiding place.
@@ticketyboo6435 Also no one goes to an alcholic just have a small drink or what's one drink going to do. Where if you're trying to watch your eating, people will try to tempt you with cake or something. They'll say what I said earlier. Another thing is alcoholics don't need to drink alcohol to live. Where we have to eat to live. This is our addiction and we have to deal with it everyday.
You’re right. I just decided to stop drinking this weekend. I’ve been drinking for damn near 20 years. It just clicked for me. I’m done 🤷🏽♀️ what I’m NOT gonna say is that it’s going to be easy.
You're living in reality. I'm tired of these fitness buffs who don't have a full time job aside from it being fitness and try to squeeze in self care. It's hard to find someone to relate to and that's what u represent
I agree. They all spend literally the entire day planning what they’re gonna eat and working you. It can be helpful to watch them plan so you don’t have to do it but a lot of their ways of eating are so unrealistic. Especially for very busy moms and people. I like watching Greg Duchette. He is a bodybuilder for a living but he explains a very simple way of eating and why it works. I also like Pahla B fitness. And I love Bea ❤️
@@fourleaf8055 thank you for sharing!! I'll look at these channels. I think for women we need to add that she has her time of the month and deals w the emotional ups and downs men get away with not having. Not their fault though.
THANK YOU!!! I hate how people say it’s so easy. But it’s not. I work full time. I barely have enough mental energy to finish my online course for medical billing and I procrastinate. Idk how to fit in trying to make healthy meals and working out on top of it, especially since I’m so exhausted when I get home
Please don’t quit TH-cam. This is still the same journey. This is part of it. You were always going to have to address the deep issues about binge eating. It was never going to be just diet and exercise and this is absolutely the same journey. You’re getting to the heart of it. I relate to this so much and have the same issue!
Honestly, I’m not here for your weight loss...I’m here for your realism. Being able to relate to someone who is also trying to cope - no matter what the cause - is what helps me cope. You do not gloss over the difficulties. You do not exaggerate the successes. You show the good, the bad, the ugly, and the glorious that encompasses what it’s truly like to have, live with, and make better a lifelong struggle. I’ll always be in the corner cheering for you to just have a happy life. All hail Queen Bea! 🙌🏻
Katarina, I couldn't have said it better. SAME! Also Bea, for me something that makes me feel better, 100% of the time is being out in nature, whether it's just sitting in the sun, closing my eyes, or going to be near water -could be lake, stream, or ocean; that always resonates with me. Or being in the woods or mountains. Hope this helps. Thank you for sharing this was a good realistic video and I continue to wish you success in the process. :)
I think 99.99% of weight loss channels do not get into the reality of mental health’s role in weight loss. This is fantastic that you are sharing this reality, I’m along for the journey!
It might sound silly but this is still a weight loss journey. Weight doesn’t have to mean physical pounds on a scale, weight off your shoulders off your chest of your life is a huge success and huge step! You’re an amazing inspiration!! You do you girl!!
I am also a grandma. On a journey of discovery. All of our lives are about the expectation and hope The destination isnt the high it is how you grow and find so.e meaning.some guy just interrupted your video speaking of poop.this is what I love about you.i can laugh with you never at you. Love your spirit
Hi, I am a therapist and I have been watching your adorable journey for a long time. I am THRILLED you are in therapy because, watching your narrative for about a year now, you will not get there with crazy stints of mad diets and exercise without addressing your mindset, values, beliefs, conditioning, parenting, traumas and deep seated issues. Well done you for investing in the long-haul. Keep up the good work
You humanize weight issues in a way the world never will. You are our middle ground between the super fit industry and the super obese and staying that way community. For that, all the hope and empathy you give us, we truly appreciate you. Thank you so much for being you.
Girl I’m not here for some “shocking transformation”, I’m here because I think you’re funny and relatable. You’re a normal person dealing with things that a lot of us can find relevant to our own lives. Keep going girl we will be here to support at every high and low!
I 100% agree, I so feel a connection to her and she reflects and shares so much of what I struggle with, and I'm really thankful for the confidence she's given me
Honestly, there are THOUSANDS of weight loss channels on TH-cam, and you are literally the only one I follow. Yes, the algorithm brought me to your channel due to my constant interest in weight loss videos, but I stayed for your personality, your honesty and how much I relate to you. Even if you gained 100 lbs I'd never unsubscribe.
Yesss. I love her outlook on weight loss. It's not toxic and doesn't trigger my unhealthy relationship with food like most of the channels I've come across.
I wonder if Bea knows that she inspires people from all over the world. its not just americans that watch her. i am from kenya, africa, and i absolutely love her. i wonder which other country is represented here. totally love you Bea. thanks for the replies n the likes guys
1. We’re not unsubscribing. 2. Please don’t quit. You’re not the only binge eater! Even divulging this is relatable! 3. Coloring! That’s what I do. Coloring with crayons or small markers. I find curse word coloring books (Etsy and Amazon) and color. My first few pages sucked. But I got better.
A weight loss journey (or mission, or whatever you want to define it as) isn't just about losing a load of weight. Its about building good habits and improving your lifestyle permanently. So do not feel defeated or feel apologetic to us. Because its all part of the process!! keep going you are doing amazing! And good luck❤️❤️ as for the comfort aspect I really enjoy to write to relax when I’m feeling bad. I think anything artsy like drawing, writing is a really good way to outlet any stressful feelings ❤️ I know you enjoy drawing and doing other crafty things so maybe that’s an option? X
Yes! I started Noom in August last year when I was my heaviest. I've learned that I need to focus on my health, not just the number on the scale. It is empowering when you accept that!
We have to keep in mind that gaining a lot of weight in the first place often is a symptom of something else. So how is that weightloss journey supposed to work without addressing the underlying causes for the weight gain? I can only speak for myself, but I'm here for the whole story!
Girl! Don’t leave youtube!!! I didn’t follow you for some crazy dramatic weight loss. I’m following you for your HEALTH (mind, body, soul) JOURNEY! And whether you end up “skinny” or not, your journey will be a successful and valid.
I am 53 years old and I have never felt more In sync with a person in my life! I learned that I had binge disorder in my 20s, and have spent this lifetime yo yo ing. Just now seeking help. 100% of everything you say here resonates with me. Kudos to you for getting help with it now. Wishing luck to both of us!
Ditto, I tried to get help when I was in my 20s but had so much other sh*t going on. Tried again about 5 years ago at 48 and it's helped so much. Kudos to you too. It's never too late. You are awesome.
I saw your comment and thought I had written it. Wow! Age and all. I just wrong a big long comment about my history with secret eating for emotions. Wow! :(
Yo-yo ing sucks but at least you have tried . Those attempts will have still worked in a way ( stopping weight from climbing ever higher like those on 600lb life)
Most of us watch you for your personality and that you keep it completely real. You put yourself out there to share your struggles that many people are dealing with, but you never give up and keep trying new things. We love you for you!💜
100%. You are relatable and so many of us are in the same boat. I can relate completely to this. Thank you, as always, for being authentic and laying it all out there for us.
My psychologist had told me to get into hobbies that have a beginning middle and end so I could feel like I've completed things. I took up sewing and now sew all my own clothing.
Preach!!! Sewing clothing can be a LIFE CHANGING activity for those of us struggling with our bodies because the power of being able to make clothing that is well fitted and flattering to one's own frame can entirely change the way you see yourself. Mass produced off-the-peg clothing just can't cater to the fitting needs of everyone's body, but learning to sew (and it's not an overnight skill, but a lifelong journey of skill development and experience) ultimately means being able to have custom fitted clothing that makes you feel great every time you put it on. People often remark that my clothes look expensive, but what they are actually seeing is clothing that just fits well on my short-waisted bust-n-butt body. The curvy sewing community, which is out there for everyone to find, tends to put it this way: What if there's actually nothing wrong with your body, but there's something wrong with the clothes you're being sold? After all, before mass produced clothing, everyone made their own or had clothes hand made and fitted to their own body. It's a good principal to live by, and when we feel good about ourselves it becomes so much easier to look after ourselves, exercise, feed ourselves well and all the rest.
I'm not gonna lie I'm only here for the Sesame Street gang 😁 Don't worry Bea we are not here to watch you shrink, we are here to watch you grow as a person.
What comforts me is reading. I know it sounds boring, but it really helped me through tough times. I had ptsd and I was afraid to fall asleep for like two years. Reading helped me get my mind off my terrifying thoughts so I could get a couple of hours in every night.
Same to so many people before: not here for the aesthetic dramatic weight loss, here for the awesome heart, complete relatability, and how you go through real life.
Bea, you are inspirational not because of the amount of weight you do or do not lose, but because of how realistically you approach the problems that you have. You don't make excuses for your "failures," you take accountability and you take active steps to improve. It's amazing!
Don't quit TH-cam!!! I think a lot of us can relate to going from "eating clean" to realizing that the relationship of the food is what really needs to be fixed :/
Comfort idea: watching a video of a live concert from an artist you love in a dim room (+ lighting a candle if you want). I started doing this in the middle of the pandemic and it has since become my go-to for whenever I feel stressed and want to feel comforted!
I recently discovered that cleaning and cooking are forms of self-care for me. Baths and facials and manicures etc don't make me feel more relaxed or comforted, but having a clean desk, a made bed, nothing on the floor, and prepared meals in the fridge do. I hope you find additional ways to help you feel comforted!
I can relate to that so much! I have a shopping routine now and clean my room regularly and it just makes me feel so much more at ease. Facials, baths etc. are a nice and "luxurious" addition, but it's the basic things (food, fresh air, clean room, organized calendar) that get me through the tough days 💖
Bea, this is your progress. Not how many calories you cut, how many workouts you manage in a week, how many pounds you lose, but this. Realizing where your unhealthy habits lie and trying to become better, so that you live healthier and happier in the long run. I can't tell you how proud I am of you for taking care of yourself.
I think this is more realistic than any other weight loss channel I’ve watched. This is part of the process. Understanding why and how you got here so that you can heal and turn the corner. I’m not unsubscribing because it’s real and it’s not excuses it’s just real life.
Honestly I’m proud that you have realized that losing weight isn’t more important than your mental and emotional health. You do you and work on yourself in whatever way you need to. I am happy for you.
I don't like you because you're losing a ton of weight. I like you because you are human, you are relatable, you are funny, and you struggle... we all do. Just keep trying to become the best you physically and mentally! You got this :)
YES! This is the first time a weight loss channel actually is noting what actually is going on! This is a way to give yourself grace and grow with self love! This is the content we need. A complex and honest way to healing. As a therapist I’m ROOTING for you and shout out to your therapist. Sounds like a good fit!
Does covering myself in blankets, lying in the fetal position, crying my eyes out, then watching funny yt videos count as coping? Cause that's all I got. Love you Bea, coping and self-soothing is absolutely a skill, and one that takes time to learn! You got this
Definitely counts. As long as it actually helps & eventually has an end point! You’re causing zero harm to yourself or others by blankets/crying/watching YT - so, I actually think that’s a GREAT coping strategy. 💜
It may be selfish of us all to ask, but please don’t quit making videos. We love being able to relate to your random ramblings. I think you talking about counseling and sharing your journey will help encourage other people to seek help. Watching TH-cam videos (like yours) and laying in the couch cuddled up in a blanket are my comforts.
You mentioned you have your channel to talk and that helps make you feel better. What if after you binge you do a vlog diary? Talk about how your binge started and what you feel like after. You don’t have to share them. Then look back at them when you feel the need to binge. That might help you to not binge eat or at least slow it down.
This is one of the most important videos on TH-cam. In 8 minutes you showed the importance of mental health, summed up binge eating, the why behind it and the why we can’t stop and shared a part of your journey that most can relate too. I know something clicked for me, and probably for many others. Most of us try to quit something without finding out why we do it in the first place, and what we can do instead, that is equally satisfying. I’m going to go reevaluate my behaviors now...
So glad you are staying, I am a 50-year-old male that found you by accident and watch some of your videos. Today was the video for me. I am very overweight and a crazy schedule. I wanted to let you know that you inspired me to keep trying. You never know where inspiration will come from but today it was you. Thank you.
Please don’t leave on the account of not revealing a ‘dramatic transformation’. We subscribe because we like you and your your story, not the results. You’re awesome and have been a friend to thousands of strangers. ::hugs::
Girl, I got so much to say I wish we could be offline friends. I have dealt with binge eating disorder for decades. Though I have been at a “normal” size for twenty years now after losing 120 lbs by torturing myself, the pattern of comforting myself with food is so deeply ingrained that I still reach there first. I know that helplessness and that feeling that you will never get a handle on this. I haven’t beaten it, I live with it. And every day is a new opportunity. Food as an addiction for me goes deeper. As someone who lived with undiagnosed adhd well into adulthood, I had no idea how much my disorder also predisposed me to pleasure seeking behaviors. My brain isn’t able to make or use as much dopamine as it needs. And every time I put something salty, greasy, or sweet into my mouth, my brain yelled “yes! More dopamine! More more more!” Since I still live with this dopamine deficit, and since I learned to soothe myself with food at the age of 3 or 4, I still live with food addiction. I’m not sure we ever really beat addictions. Perhaps you make peace with them. Perhaps you befriend yourself a little more each day, and you go one step closer to remission. But I can’t lie. It is always there. Our addiction is essential to keep us alive. No one needs cigarettes or alcohol or to gamble. But we all need food. We stare down our nemesis, our best friend, our comforter at least three times every day. I want to tell you that at 41 years old I’ve got this figured out, or I have a better handle, or at least some traction. And somedays, I definitely do. But it’s not every day. I will have months where I feel like I own my body and my behaviors. And then I will have months where I feel like they own me. But I just keep going back in and finding (or trying to find) grace for myself every day. Sometimes nothing will comfort like food. Sometimes I decide to live with the discomfort. I don’t try to soothe feelings away. I listen to them and sit with them until I can barely stand it, and then they magically go back from whence they came. Journaling, napping, walking as slow as a Buddhist monk, finding something extremely funny to watch, writing down things I like. Sitting with the cat. Telling someone how I feel. They all work at times. At other times the only thing that will work is a dinner big enough for three people. Or a half a loaf of buttered toast. Ultimately we know the shame and bloat make that a worse solution than a better solution. But sometimes, we just allow ourselves to do it anyway. And we don’t get down about it. You have to keep going. You have to keep going with your journey because you have no choice. You will not give up on yourself. You are too precious and your offering in the world is too unique. You are beginning to understand yourself and bring your actions into a conscious place. You can offer non-judgment as you observe. You aren’t bad or broken or fucked up. You were once a scared and lonely little girl, who felt like she didn’t belong, and you picked up a behavior that would distract you from that pain. You deserve compassion. And patience. And understanding. And deep love and admiration. You have no responsibility to keep going with your channel for us. But don’t you dare turn your back on yourself. Find that lonely little girl, wherever you left her, and bring her back into the circle of belonging. Then, you can think about healing your relationship with food. God bless you, baby girl. Real good. ❤️🙏🏻
I appreciate your comment so much. It made me teary eyed. I recognize myself in a lot of your points and coming to terms with being a binge eater. Thank you for your guidance ❤️
Girl we’re invested in YOU. It started as all eyes on a weight loss journey but I’m sure I can speak for many others when I say we are all here to just root you on in whatever you do in life. So as long as you ENJOY TH-cam, stay here and share with us. We’re just here for you 🥰 Keep your chin up. I think a lot of people don’t even realize how much mental change has to go into weight loss and you’re setting a very realistic example for others. It helps people feel less alone.
Thank you for such a non-toxic and self-compassionate contribution to this genre of information. She's a pioneer of giving a crap about yourself with genuine effort. Werk, Miss Bea C!!
A few years ago, someone asked me what I did for self-care, and I was absolutely stumped. Nothing healthy, that’s for damn sure. You’re not failing, as you said, you are growing and learning, and helping. Thank you
“If you want to unsubscribe, I understand”... yeah no. Im sure most of us are here to stay. Getting healthy is not just a physical thing, I am excited to see where these new experiences take you.
This was an important video for so many reasons. Please don't stop TH-cam because your direction has changed (but if you want to, you do you). Please feel the support many of us have for you!
People love your channel because it’s real! It never feels like just an ad, or just the same weight loss tips every other influencer gives out. You’re basically one of us lol!
I had bulimia for a long time and I totally get the food for comfort thing! One of the things that helped me was taking time to cook my own meals and considering food in terms of quality rather than quantity! For instance I go to the market and I pick weird fruits and vegetables, and than I learn how to cook them...
Not even a question, Bea, ride or die we're sticking with you. It's incredible and inspiring to watch your journey, especially with all of its nuance and complexities. It's so lonely not to see myself reflected in media, and your channel is a gift to those watching.
Please don't stop! It doesn't matter if you lose weight! You are the reason people watch. People love you! Besides millions of people are in the same situation, they just don't have a youtube channel. You are real life and with an amazing personality. Please keep going!
I'm not a therapist but my thoughts on your sitch are not to call yourself a success or a failure. As you state every video opening, it's a journey... It will take time and effort to figure out how to cope with life's hardships when you've only ever known one coping mechanism. My other advice is for everyone, give yourself the grace you would give anyone else. We are all deserving of support. Love and encouragement to Bea and to all of you! 🥰
I’m not here for your weight loss. I’m here for you. I’m on a similar journey, but whether or not you lose a huge amount of weight, I’m sticking with you. I hope you don’t quit. You have a fun little corner of the internet that I genuinely enjoy and look forward to visiting.🖤
It’s so refreshing to hear someone talk about binging and food addiction in such a real and honest way. I struggle everyday with those things and I honestly feel like no one in my life understands how difficult it is. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone. ❤️
I turned to binge eating after losing my brother and mother both to cancer 3 years apart. Doesn’t help that I’m a nurse so I have the guilt of not being able to save them. I’ve gained over 50 pounds. Watching you gives me hope and helps me remember I’m not alone in this.
Fellow nurse here, you are so incredibly strong. I hope you can release those feelings one day, I know it can be so heavy. Sending you lots of love, you got this girl
Similar story here. I've had an ED since I was 19 and relapsed after both my grandparent's died in a span of 3 months. I'm now trying to work through the mental and emotional trauma through therapy which in turn will help my ED. Weight loss/gain is so much more than just a physical journey. Stay strong, Jenn.
Nurse AND personal trainer here 🙋♀️. But I also suffered a divorce from the man I'd been with since I was 19. Then our daughter died suddenly. Then I made a career change and moved to a different part of the state. Stress on stress on stress. So I gained 20 pounds. Now I'm working in getting it gone. I knew better all along, I've always known how to get/stay fit. I didn't care. My world was rocked, I had to find equilibrium again first. This channel has been a small, integral part of that. Thank you. Keep on truckin'.
I wasn’t a binge eater but a pothead that moved to a martini binge every night. I fill the time with teaching myself how to sew which was an adolescent interest that I never filled. I’m 48 and have finally found my comfort place. Good luck B
please don't quit youtube. your personality honestly is the reason most are here. you could record yourself eating cereal everyday and just talking to us and I'd watch you. mental health journeys are so important and so many ppl need that too ❤️ so much love to you 🥰
I've been waiting for you to have a big revelation about this, weight loss is not everything, being fat is not a crime, being healthy is not about working out and being thin! Being healthy is finding your way to cope w a really crappy world in a way that does the least amount of harm to your body and mind. Love you Bea, I'm excited to see this journey unfold! 💖
Yes to all of this! It breaks my heart to see her disappointed in herself when she “relapses”. She deserves all the love and grace, from herself especially.
Please don’t leave TH-cam. You are literally my comfort and enjoyment (selfish? Yes.). Your channel is the only channel I get notifications on and I get giddy when I see it pop up!
Who else felt their heart stop when B said “thought about quitting TH-cam?” Girl, No. And btw, I’m addicted to having my meals in front of the telle. I can literally be out with people at a fancy restaurant and be wishing I was home in my sweats doing just that. You’re not alone in your weirdness. x Ami
omg first time I am hearing that and I am so glad because I have that too. I have searched that up multiple times but nobody is talking about it. It’s not like I can’t eat without the tv or TH-cam but it’s not comforting and I am not hungry, plus I don’t enjoy eating. I think this behavior plays a big role in our lifestyle because a lot of us have maybe been already doing this as a kid and are accustomed to it.
I turn to reading or listening to music. There are days where I literally avoid doing any responsibilities and just reading a book for hours. Sometimes I beat myself up for it the next day and sometimes I don’t. We’re all still growing so give yourself grace B
Me too I will read for an in-healthy length of time. This is a form of escapism. I find something soothing is watching a favourite movie whilst doing some sort of crafts at the same time 😊
Good points, me too! I forget too often to listen to music. Listening to my favorite songs is such a positive experience, and it totally is comforting! And reading too. I'm in the middle of an awesome book right now and all I want to do is read it. It's comforting because it lets me get out of my own head and get really into the story. So I second both of these!
My whole life Ive struggled with my addiction to food. I've always felt alone in this battle, Ive never met anyone else with this addiction or have watched anyone on tv or on youtube with this. My addiction is so bad Ive eaten food out of the trash before. I am horribly ashamed to admit that. This video is life changing for me. This video validates my struggle. I feel like Im finally not alone. You are an amazing person and Im rooting for you. Youre REAL. You are 100% real about losing weight and how hard it actually is and about binge eating! Thank you!!! You make me want to be a better person but in a healthy way. Not "Im gonna starve myself and exercise several times a day" type of way, which is what I usually resort to. I feel so blessed to have found your channel
Please don’t quit TH-cam. You offer something rare, beautiful, authentic, and relatable. Just as the challenge, this is a Try Your Best Bisch life, and we’re all just trying our best, and you make it a little more fun and honest for all of us. ❤️
Don’t quit Bea, we love you! Just so you know, most of us are not here for the weight loss journey, it’s about the struggles we all face when trying to be healthier, more balanced and happier with ourselves and our lives. You have a very relatable way of dealing with these issues and that’s why most of us are here. You go girl! (Sorry, English is not my mother language lol)
When I first started my recovery I COULD NOT cut out binging without failing over an over again, and it did stop and go away and now I never binge. Every case is different, but have faith in the process and in yourself! Healing from your eating disorder is worth more than going through it.
Things that 'comfort me' or at least redirect me in a positive way: hot baths, cancelling plans (I'm an introvert), cleaning one thing, putting on my shoes and stepping outside (sometimes literally just for one minute- but it helps), hiding under a blanket, watching youtube
What I do for comfort: -binge a tv show (either an old favorite or a new series) -journal -turn into a hermit -go to disneyworld -FaceTime my friends It’ll take some trial and error to find what works for you. And therapy and change take time. Be patient and kind to yourself.
I’m glad these work well for you, but personally I find bingeing a show or being a hermit ARE my negative coping mechanisms. I hope this isn’t coming off as mean, and in moderation these things are fine but maybe not the healthiest. The others are great though!
@@Gandellion Am in the same boat and see it as a little bit of column A, a bit of column B? The isolation is not great for anxiety, but at least bingewatching a show doesn't give you pre-diabetes. I give myself a pass when I combine bingewatching with a calming activity, like crafts or folding laundry.
@@intrepidtomato very true! It’s all about what suits you personally. Since binge eating isn’t huuuugely a problem for me it’s okay if I do sometimes, but the hours of doing nothing and rejecting human company that’s my issue
The opposite of addiction is connection! Bea, you are truly my favorite person on TH-cam. It’s refreshing to hear your honesty without intent to be perceived in a certain light. I am so grateful to have found your channel, and so appreciative that you chose to give all of us the ability to participate in your story.
A LETTER TO BEATRICE As a fat person watching this video, who has been desperately trying to lose weight for a year and a half, this is spot on. I've been fat since I can remember, if not fat then I've definitely been "chubby but pretty" or "a little big for my age". All these phrases have been ingrained in my psyche by the adults around me who thought it was easier to point out "flaws" on a child's body rather than help her face a problem. Setting that aside, since I was the biggest person in the classroom, add being tall to that, I was always very prominent. As much as I hated attention, I was always on the receiving end of it. This mean I had to find a coping mechanism; humour. Humour and a faux personality that would compensate for the looks that I didn't have, or society thought I didn't have because they were so drunk on the idea of skinny beauty. This led to a very uncomfortable relationship with weightloss. I always wanted to lose weight but also lost the will halfway. Since being fat was my identity my whole life, I felt comfortable staying as I was when things like eating less and exercising would bother me. I didn't feel like giving up all things sweet since they helped me at times when I couldn't get out of bed. So now I'm here in the same loop as you, Beatrice, and hearing you talk yourself down hurts me because I have done that countless times and it has never worked. Whenever I'm stuck on my weightloss journey, you are the first person who comes to my mind and I keep going. None of the other fitness youtubers in their shredded bodies inspire me because they don't show the struggle. The bad days, the breakdowns, the loss of willpower and the disappointing weight gain when one gives up. Your honesty is the best thing about you, so whenever you are feeling down, just know that there is someone who looks up to you because you've shown them how to be perfectly human. Love you loads, Marium from Pakistan 🇵🇰
WOW why were we "taught" when we were little that we have to make up for or compensate for not being skinny. Your experience sounds painfully similar to mine and I had never thought about my need to make up for not looking stereotypically appealing, and how much that impacts daily life. thank you for your comment
Clearly, whatever you do, we’re here for it. I mean if well over 125K of us are willing to watch you basically just eat cereal, I’d say that should tell you something! ❤️ You’re not letting anyone down and you need to do what’s best for you, but I really hope you don’t leave TH-cam. So many of us are “Bea-Stans”.
Relating so hard. It has taken me a long time to realize that “comfort” doesn’t equal “go numb.” I not only had just one method of “comfort” - it was basically just stopping feeling anything at all. This is hard but important stuff. You aren’t alone.
I like coloring, I have a few coloring books. I wasn't big about coloring as a kid, but I enjoy it a lot as a decompression as an adult. I have beer and color. It's very satisfying.
came for your weight loss vids at the very beginning, stayed because you’re a wonderful human! You don’t have to lose a pound for this community to stick around!!
Now THIS is real, meaningful progress! I'm glad you see how much you're helping people by being vulnerable. Who cares if you lose X amount of weight, or any weight, or gain weight. I'm proud of you for figuring out ways to be happy. BTW petting your dog or cat, even though it feels like it's for them, is actually mutually beneficial.
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that can feel defeated in weight loss. But just like you, there are so many of us that are learning how to be healthy...not just with exercise and eating, but with mental and emotional issues as well. Thank you for inspiring me to keep going and to also not be ashamed to seek out therapy for help.
Instead of trying to figure out what brings you comfort, figure out what brings you joy. I’m a huge fan of sitting around doing absolutely nothing and feeling ok about it. Just vegging and watching tv or reading. That’s comforting to me.
The comfort I have turned to in recent years: gardening. Have you ever put a seed in the ground and the have it MAGICALLY grow 6 feet tall and give you food? It's wild and feeds a place deep inside me (ok my stomach but like ALSO the center of who I am emotionally)
I actually want to get more into gardening this summer! My backyard currently looks like a weed farm...not weed... but like goat heads n such lol so it needs a lot of tlc!
Hey Bea, I am very proud of you for prioritizing your mental health. Here are some things that I do for comfort: -disassociate in the shower -play games -shopping -watch bad action movies with no plot
Don’t quit TH-cam!! I’m sick of “success” stories that are not long term or sustainable. Your content is so important!! Also, for decompressing... what about some... ahem... self love 😉
To manage stress i sleep or calligraphy or dive into a book for a few hours, without thinking, without considering world outside. Reading is seen as not a relaxing thing for people when you are upset or stressed but honestly i can dive into a book and stop being me. Be brave, stay safe :)
1000% am never unsubscribing. You are making a decision for your health based on how you feel mentally (and physically) and finding another path towards your goal. This is what a real journey to health looks like. Thanks for sharing your ups and downs! Rooting for you :D
I go lay in bed in the dark and watch TH-cam when I need to binge , because being active and social to help being depressed and upset doesn't realistically happen .....I find laying in bed and watching TH-cam help me to cope
Mental health is so important. We don't care if you're not losing weight, we care about your health and well-being. You're doing something for yourself that is very challenging and we're always going to be here to support you
I just found your channel and this video stuck out to me. I hope that your therapy is going well. I just wanted to share something from a recovered binge eater (though I wouldn't say I had a food addiction, so it might be different for you). The book Brain Over Binge changed my life and I haven't binge-eaten in... Maybe 3 years now? Almost 4? I never even have the urge because it came down to the main takeaway: binge eating isn't something I'm always going to do. The book talks a lot about how therapy affected the author's binge eating, so it might relate, but I just wanted to share it with you in case it helps. I'm rooting for you. You deserve a healthy relationship with food that is free from guilt, moralization, and shame. I have poor mental health and struggle with finding comfort in hobbies that I know I enjoy, but going through the motions and routines and rituals of life bring me *ease*, which I value a lot more than comfort. You got this!!!
At times when I feel overwhelmed and stressed out, I'll bring all my blankets and pillows and pile them in front of my TV and watch my favorite childhood movies cacooned in them.
Don’t quit TH-cam. You are on the hardest path you’ll ever be on. Our stories are similar in that food is our drug. It’s an all consuming battle. People go their whole lives without being as honest with themselves as you are and the rawness you show I think could help people realize their own shit.
This went from weight loss journey to self acceptance story and I'm here for it.
Yes!! Exactly.
SAME
This 👏 comment 👏 right 👏 here 👏
❤❤❤
I am a 77 year old women and this young lady adds a ray of sunshine to my life. Please don’t quit, I love seeing your journey. Not the weight loss journey but the life journey. You have a wonderful sense of humor and love your content.
Well said , This young woman is adorable , no bull s**t ,
I am 54, and love everything this lady does, never in my wildest dreams would I judge her , 😘
@@lyn-marieohara184, okay, I'll join the truth game. I'm 61 and i love her too!
@@BG-ep1bm the beauty of TH-cam, we can choose who we watch, we can actually be our own directors and audiences, lol
Thisssss
Exactly. Don't give up. You deserve to be healthy & conquer (or better handle) your vulnerability. This is a battle between you and how you cope. Binge occasionally -shit, who doesn't- but of it's for a coping habit instead of just occasionally enjoying yourself, then that's where we worry about you. You are *chef kiss* Our gem
Sending a big hug your way
A success story isn't why I'm here. I'm here because you're interesting and real and amusing, that's enough for me.
Same. I’m just glad you’re not quitting TH-cam. I was starting to get a little nervous. 😅💕💕
Amen! Same here!
all of this but what fascinates me most is that you are searching for answers and you do not stop because it becomes uncomfortable or awkward even if literally the entire world may watch you.
I think that Bea seeking help and working on her mental health is an amazing success 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💐💐
Same here do you boo
"food is a drug for me, I don't get comfort from anything else" oof I felt that deep..
OMGGGGGG so did I.
Chills and understanding. Those were the words I needed spoken today because until that moment, I never realized I felt exactly the same.
Me too!
Yea, totally speaks to me too
Me too
I’m not here for the success story, I’m just here for YOUR story, whatever that entails 💜
Yep. Bea is the best.
Me too! 🙋🏼♀️
Same!
Jessica Paulsen....well said👏👏👏👏
Jessica Paulsen I couldnt have said it any better. Love Bea!!
The fact that you are saying "I am addicted to food" is as hard as for an alcoholic to admit that he has an alcohol addiction. It's a massive success.
Totally agree!!! This is a massive success!
I think it’s more difficult. I feel more judged as if i am greedy and lazy whereas there seems to be more sympathy for someone addicted to alcohol. Maybe it’s just more understood therefore seems more acceptable. I want to hide in shame at my food addiction but unfortunately my weight gives it away. There is no hiding place.
@@ticketyboo6435 Also no one goes to an alcholic just have a small drink or what's one drink going to do. Where if you're trying to watch your eating, people will try to tempt you with cake or something. They'll say what I said earlier. Another thing is alcoholics don't need to drink alcohol to live. Where we have to eat to live. This is our addiction and we have to deal with it everyday.
It’s even harder because for alcoholics the answer is abstinence. You can’t abstain from food though, you need it to live.
You’re right. I just decided to stop drinking this weekend. I’ve been drinking for damn near 20 years. It just clicked for me. I’m done 🤷🏽♀️ what I’m NOT gonna say is that it’s going to be easy.
Honesty ✔
Accountability ✔
Integrity ✔
Growth✔
Nah girl I think I'll stick around. I doubt you'll lose a single subscriber
Truth
factt
💖💖💖💖💖💯💯💯💯
Completely agree! 100%
Yep!
You're living in reality. I'm tired of these fitness buffs who don't have a full time job aside from it being fitness and try to squeeze in self care. It's hard to find someone to relate to and that's what u represent
I agree. They all spend literally the entire day planning what they’re gonna eat and working you. It can be helpful to watch them plan so you don’t have to do it but a lot of their ways of eating are so unrealistic. Especially for very busy moms and people. I like watching Greg Duchette. He is a bodybuilder for a living but he explains a very simple way of eating and why it works. I also like Pahla B fitness. And I love Bea ❤️
@@fourleaf8055 thank you for sharing!! I'll look at these channels. I think for women we need to add that she has her time of the month and deals w the emotional ups and downs men get away with not having. Not their fault though.
@@nettyspeaks yes my cycle affects me so much
THANK YOU!!! I hate how people say it’s so easy. But it’s not. I work full time. I barely have enough mental energy to finish my online course for medical billing and I procrastinate. Idk how to fit in trying to make healthy meals and working out on top of it, especially since I’m so exhausted when I get home
Truth👍🏾💥🔥
Please don’t quit TH-cam. This is still the same journey. This is part of it. You were always going to have to address the deep issues about binge eating. It was never going to be just diet and exercise and this is absolutely the same journey. You’re getting to the heart of it. I relate to this so much and have the same issue!
I have the same issue too! ❤️
Yep, so do I!! Brings me comfort in knowing others feel similar to my own thoughts and feelings!!
Honestly, I’m not here for your weight loss...I’m here for your realism. Being able to relate to someone who is also trying to cope - no matter what the cause - is what helps me cope. You do not gloss over the difficulties. You do not exaggerate the successes. You show the good, the bad, the ugly, and the glorious that encompasses what it’s truly like to have, live with, and make better a lifelong struggle. I’ll always be in the corner cheering for you to just have a happy life. All hail Queen Bea! 🙌🏻
Agree well said
Now _this_ is a Beahive I can get behind! 🐝
Agreed!
Well said, Katarina!
Katarina, I couldn't have said it better. SAME! Also Bea, for me something that makes me feel better, 100% of the time is being out in nature, whether it's just sitting in the sun, closing my eyes, or going to be near water -could be lake, stream, or ocean; that always resonates with me. Or being in the woods or mountains. Hope this helps. Thank you for sharing this was a good realistic video and I continue to wish you success in the process. :)
I think 99.99% of weight loss channels do not get into the reality of mental health’s role in weight loss. This is fantastic that you are sharing this reality, I’m along for the journey!
This might be the realest weight loss journey I've seen.
It might sound silly but this is still a weight loss journey. Weight doesn’t have to mean physical pounds on a scale, weight off your shoulders off your chest of your life is a huge success and huge step! You’re an amazing inspiration!! You do you girl!!
Yasssss!!!
I am also a grandma. On a journey of discovery. All of our lives are about the expectation and hope
The destination isnt the high it is how you grow and find so.e meaning.some guy just interrupted your video speaking of poop.this is what I love about you.i can laugh with you never at you. Love your spirit
So true!!
Yes!! So true!!
I don't watch you because you're a weight loss channel, I watch because you are authentic and hilarious and relatable.
Hi, I am a therapist and I have been watching your adorable journey for a long time. I am THRILLED you are in therapy because, watching your narrative for about a year now, you will not get there with crazy stints of mad diets and exercise without addressing your mindset, values, beliefs, conditioning, parenting, traumas and deep seated issues. Well done you for investing in the long-haul. Keep up the good work
Please document this! Don't quit TH-cam. This emotional journey you're on is so important and personally very relevant to me.
You humanize weight issues in a way the world never will. You are our middle ground between the super fit industry and the super obese and staying that way community. For that, all the hope and empathy you give us, we truly appreciate you. Thank you so much for being you.
Agree with this so much. Hit it right on the head.
I appreciate you😊🦕💛🦕
Girl I’m not here for some “shocking transformation”, I’m here because I think you’re funny and relatable. You’re a normal person dealing with things that a lot of us can find relevant to our own lives. Keep going girl we will be here to support at every high and low!
^ yesssss, what they said!
Yessssss !! So true 💖
I 100% agree, I so feel a connection to her and she reflects and shares so much of what I struggle with, and I'm really thankful for the confidence she's given me
Honestly, there are THOUSANDS of weight loss channels on TH-cam, and you are literally the only one I follow. Yes, the algorithm brought me to your channel due to my constant interest in weight loss videos, but I stayed for your personality, your honesty and how much I relate to you. Even if you gained 100 lbs I'd never unsubscribe.
Yesss. I love her outlook on weight loss. It's not toxic and doesn't trigger my unhealthy relationship with food like most of the channels I've come across.
Sammmeeer
Rt^
Exactly!!
same!!!!
I wonder if Bea knows that she inspires people from all over the world. its not just americans that watch her. i am from kenya, africa, and i absolutely love her. i wonder which other country is represented here. totally love you Bea.
thanks for the replies n the likes guys
Germany 😀
Brazil 🖐️
south africa 👋🏼
Indonesia 😁
Ireland
1. We’re not unsubscribing.
2. Please don’t quit. You’re not the only binge eater! Even divulging this is relatable!
3. Coloring! That’s what I do. Coloring with crayons or small markers. I find curse word coloring books (Etsy and Amazon) and color. My first few pages sucked. But I got better.
She should make an amazon wish list so we can flood her with crafts lol
A weight loss journey (or mission, or whatever you want to define it as) isn't just about losing a load of weight. Its about building good habits and improving your lifestyle permanently. So do not feel defeated or feel apologetic to us. Because its all part of the process!! keep going you are doing amazing! And good luck❤️❤️ as for the comfort aspect I really enjoy to write to relax when I’m feeling bad. I think anything artsy like drawing, writing is a really good way to outlet any stressful feelings ❤️ I know you enjoy drawing and doing other crafty things so maybe that’s an option? X
Yes! I started Noom in August last year when I was my heaviest. I've learned that I need to focus on my health, not just the number on the scale. It is empowering when you accept that!
Exactly what i was going to say!
We have to keep in mind that gaining a lot of weight in the first place often is a symptom of something else. So how is that weightloss journey supposed to work without addressing the underlying causes for the weight gain? I can only speak for myself, but I'm here for the whole story!
Absolutely!
Thank you, hope Bea pins this comment.
Girl! Don’t leave youtube!!! I didn’t follow you for some crazy dramatic weight loss. I’m following you for your HEALTH (mind, body, soul) JOURNEY! And whether you end up “skinny” or not, your journey will be a successful and valid.
Agree
Very true!
I am 53 years old and I have never felt more In sync with a person in my life! I learned that I had binge disorder in my 20s, and have spent this lifetime yo yo ing. Just now seeking help. 100% of everything you say here resonates with me. Kudos to you for getting help with it now. Wishing luck to both of us!
Ditto, I tried to get help when I was in my 20s but had so much other sh*t going on. Tried again about 5 years ago at 48 and it's helped so much. Kudos to you too. It's never too late. You are awesome.
I saw your comment and thought I had written it. Wow! Age and all. I just wrong a big long comment about my history with secret eating for emotions. Wow! :(
Yo-yo ing sucks but at least you have tried . Those attempts will have still worked in a way ( stopping weight from climbing ever higher like those on 600lb life)
Im am 55 and i feel exactly the same way about Bea!! I definitely use food to cope and to comfort myself!
Most of us watch you for your personality and that you keep it completely real. You put yourself out there to share your struggles that many people are dealing with, but you never give up and keep trying new things. We love you for you!💜
Totally agree ❤️❤️❤️
FACTS!
Yes so true
100%. You are relatable and so many of us are in the same boat. I can relate completely to this. Thank you, as always, for being authentic and laying it all out there for us.
So true
My psychologist had told me to get into hobbies that have a beginning middle and end so I could feel like I've completed things. I took up sewing and now sew all my own clothing.
Really good suggestions. Started sewing masks in lockdown and hope to get (further) back into crocheting. It's a bit like meditation.
trying to think of similarly structured activities 🤔
That’s why I quilt.... my other hobbies rotate around food.
Preach!!! Sewing clothing can be a LIFE CHANGING activity for those of us struggling with our bodies because the power of being able to make clothing that is well fitted and flattering to one's own frame can entirely change the way you see yourself. Mass produced off-the-peg clothing just can't cater to the fitting needs of everyone's body, but learning to sew (and it's not an overnight skill, but a lifelong journey of skill development and experience) ultimately means being able to have custom fitted clothing that makes you feel great every time you put it on. People often remark that my clothes look expensive, but what they are actually seeing is clothing that just fits well on my short-waisted bust-n-butt body. The curvy sewing community, which is out there for everyone to find, tends to put it this way: What if there's actually nothing wrong with your body, but there's something wrong with the clothes you're being sold? After all, before mass produced clothing, everyone made their own or had clothes hand made and fitted to their own body. It's a good principal to live by, and when we feel good about ourselves it becomes so much easier to look after ourselves, exercise, feed ourselves well and all the rest.
aLOVE I do the same with knitting
I'm not gonna lie I'm only here for the Sesame Street gang 😁 Don't worry Bea we are not here to watch you shrink, we are here to watch you grow as a person.
ah that's brilliant! And true. :)
"Bea we are not here to watch you shrink, we are here to watch you grow as a person." Yes, yes, yes!!!
Sesame Street Gang - Represent!! ✊🏽
Gee beautifully said!
brilliant words!
What comforts me is reading. I know it sounds boring, but it really helped me through tough times. I had ptsd and I was afraid to fall asleep for like two years. Reading helped me get my mind off my terrifying thoughts so I could get a couple of hours in every night.
Same to so many people before: not here for the aesthetic dramatic weight loss, here for the awesome heart, complete relatability, and how you go through real life.
Bea, you are inspirational not because of the amount of weight you do or do not lose, but because of how realistically you approach the problems that you have. You don't make excuses for your "failures," you take accountability and you take active steps to improve. It's amazing!
Don't quit TH-cam!!! I think a lot of us can relate to going from "eating clean" to realizing that the relationship of the food is what really needs to be fixed :/
Comfort idea: watching a video of a live concert from an artist you love in a dim room (+ lighting a candle if you want). I started doing this in the middle of the pandemic and it has since become my go-to for whenever I feel stressed and want to feel comforted!
yes, will add the candle. for me, Four Seasons remasterd by Max Richter will soothe anything!!
love this!!
good idea👍🏾🔥
I recently discovered that cleaning and cooking are forms of self-care for me. Baths and facials and manicures etc don't make me feel more relaxed or comforted, but having a clean desk, a made bed, nothing on the floor, and prepared meals in the fridge do. I hope you find additional ways to help you feel comforted!
I can relate to that so much! I have a shopping routine now and clean my room regularly and it just makes me feel so much more at ease. Facials, baths etc. are a nice and "luxurious" addition, but it's the basic things (food, fresh air, clean room, organized calendar) that get me through the tough days 💖
Bea, this is your progress. Not how many calories you cut, how many workouts you manage in a week, how many pounds you lose, but this. Realizing where your unhealthy habits lie and trying to become better, so that you live healthier and happier in the long run. I can't tell you how proud I am of you for taking care of yourself.
I think this is more realistic than any other weight loss channel I’ve watched. This is part of the process. Understanding why and how you got here so that you can heal and turn the corner. I’m not unsubscribing because it’s real and it’s not excuses it’s just real life.
This!!! Realistic weight loss journey
Honestly I’m proud that you have realized that losing weight isn’t more important than your mental and emotional health. You do you and work on yourself in whatever way you need to. I am happy for you.
"Bea, we the 4 Hundred Thousand are with you."
Like this comment so she sees it maybe... 💝 True Love and Global Hugs to you! 💖
I don't like you because you're losing a ton of weight. I like you because you are human, you are relatable, you are funny, and you struggle... we all do. Just keep trying to become the best you physically and mentally! You got this :)
Yes, Beautifully said
YES! This is the first time a weight loss channel actually is noting what actually is going on! This is a way to give yourself grace and grow with self love! This is the content we need. A complex and honest way to healing. As a therapist I’m ROOTING for you and shout out to your therapist. Sounds like a good fit!
This right here! I'm with both of you! Do you boo, we're here with you.
Does covering myself in blankets, lying in the fetal position, crying my eyes out, then watching funny yt videos count as coping? Cause that's all I got. Love you Bea, coping and self-soothing is absolutely a skill, and one that takes time to learn! You got this
It totally count's
Definitely counts. As long as it actually helps & eventually has an end point! You’re causing zero harm to yourself or others by blankets/crying/watching YT - so, I actually think that’s a GREAT coping strategy. 💜
Your mental journey is TWICE AS IMPORTANT as the journey on the scale.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.
I was going to say the same thing. Bea, don't give up; we're here with/ for you...🤗🥰
Exactly.
And I hope she let's us keep up with her journey.
It's not about the weight loss, it's getting healthy, both physically and mentally. I crochet and/or knit to help with stress relief.
I crochet!!
Me too crochet is the best!
I crochet too.
I also thought that she could try a new stress relief activity each week during her challenge.
same!!!! it's honestly the best comfort i've found so far
I love crochet, it replaces the need for me to be shoveling chips in my mouth 💀
It may be selfish of us all to ask, but please don’t quit making videos. We love being able to relate to your random ramblings. I think you talking about counseling and sharing your journey will help encourage other people to seek help. Watching TH-cam videos (like yours) and laying in the couch cuddled up in a blanket are my comforts.
You mentioned you have your channel to talk and that helps make you feel better. What if after you binge you do a vlog diary? Talk about how your binge started and what you feel like after. You don’t have to share them. Then look back at them when you feel the need to binge. That might help you to not binge eat or at least slow it down.
This is one of the most important videos on TH-cam. In 8 minutes you showed the importance of mental health, summed up binge eating, the why behind it and the why we can’t stop and shared a part of your journey that most can relate too. I know something clicked for me, and probably for many others. Most of us try to quit something without finding out why we do it in the first place, and what we can do instead, that is equally satisfying.
I’m going to go reevaluate my behaviors now...
So glad you are staying, I am a 50-year-old male that found you by accident and watch some of your videos. Today was the video for me. I am very overweight and a crazy schedule. I wanted to let you know that you inspired me to keep trying. You never know where inspiration will come from but today it was you. Thank you.
That is such a nice thing to say . You never know where your inspiration will come from it's so true you just inspired me 💖
Your post moved me Paul. wishing you all the best with your journey too. i'm 50 too and was so gutted when she said that she might be quitting.
@@jc142 I'm 50 next month. I can relate.
Please don’t leave on the account of not revealing a ‘dramatic transformation’. We subscribe because we like you and your your story, not the results. You’re awesome and have been a friend to thousands of strangers. ::hugs::
I usually start cleaning or decluttering my home when i am stressed out.
Girl, I got so much to say I wish we could be offline friends. I have dealt with binge eating disorder for decades. Though I have been at a “normal” size for twenty years now after losing 120 lbs by torturing myself, the pattern of comforting myself with food is so deeply ingrained that I still reach there first. I know that helplessness and that feeling that you will never get a handle on this. I haven’t beaten it, I live with it. And every day is a new opportunity. Food as an addiction for me goes deeper. As someone who lived with undiagnosed adhd well into adulthood, I had no idea how much my disorder also predisposed me to pleasure seeking behaviors. My brain isn’t able to make or use as much dopamine as it needs. And every time I put something salty, greasy, or sweet into my mouth, my brain yelled “yes! More dopamine! More more more!” Since I still live with this dopamine deficit, and since I learned to soothe myself with food at the age of 3 or 4, I still live with food addiction. I’m not sure we ever really beat addictions. Perhaps you make peace with them. Perhaps you befriend yourself a little more each day, and you go one step closer to remission. But I can’t lie. It is always there. Our addiction is essential to keep us alive. No one needs cigarettes or alcohol or to gamble. But we all need food. We stare down our nemesis, our best friend, our comforter at least three times every day. I want to tell you that at 41 years old I’ve got this figured out, or I have a better handle, or at least some traction. And somedays, I definitely do. But it’s not every day. I will have months where I feel like I own my body and my behaviors. And then I will have months where I feel like they own me. But I just keep going back in and finding (or trying to find) grace for myself every day. Sometimes nothing will comfort like food. Sometimes I decide to live with the discomfort. I don’t try to soothe feelings away. I listen to them and sit with them until I can barely stand it, and then they magically go back from whence they came. Journaling, napping, walking as slow as a Buddhist monk, finding something extremely funny to watch, writing down things I like. Sitting with the cat. Telling someone how I feel. They all work at times. At other times the only thing that will work is a dinner big enough for three people. Or a half a loaf of buttered toast. Ultimately we know the shame and bloat make that a worse solution than a better solution. But sometimes, we just allow ourselves to do it anyway. And we don’t get down about it. You have to keep going. You have to keep going with your journey because you have no choice. You will not give up on yourself. You are too precious and your offering in the world is too unique. You are beginning to understand yourself and bring your actions into a conscious place. You can offer non-judgment as you observe. You aren’t bad or broken or fucked up. You were once a scared and lonely little girl, who felt like she didn’t belong, and you picked up a behavior that would distract you from that pain. You deserve compassion. And patience. And understanding. And deep love and admiration. You have no responsibility to keep going with your channel for us. But don’t you dare turn your back on yourself. Find that lonely little girl, wherever you left her, and bring her back into the circle of belonging. Then, you can think about healing your relationship with food.
God bless you, baby girl. Real good. ❤️🙏🏻
😍🥰 I read your whole comment and felt it to my core.
I appreciate your comment so much. It made me teary eyed. I recognize myself in a lot of your points and coming to terms with being a binge eater. Thank you for your guidance ❤️
Eloquently written!
So well said.
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for your comment. I really needed to hear that.
Girl we’re invested in YOU. It started as all eyes on a weight loss journey but I’m sure I can speak for many others when I say we are all here to just root you on in whatever you do in life.
So as long as you ENJOY TH-cam, stay here and share with us. We’re just here for you 🥰
Keep your chin up. I think a lot of people don’t even realize how much mental change has to go into weight loss and you’re setting a very realistic example for others. It helps people feel less alone.
Thank you for such a non-toxic and self-compassionate contribution to this genre of information.
She's a pioneer of giving a crap about yourself with genuine effort. Werk, Miss Bea C!!
A few years ago, someone asked me what I did for self-care, and I was absolutely stumped. Nothing healthy, that’s for damn sure. You’re not failing, as you said, you are growing and learning, and helping. Thank you
“If you want to unsubscribe, I understand”... yeah no. Im sure most of us are here to stay.
Getting healthy is not just a physical thing, I am excited to see where these new experiences take you.
Right? I just subscribed because of this... :)
This was an important video for so many reasons. Please don't stop TH-cam because your direction has changed (but if you want to, you do you). Please feel the support many of us have for you!
People love your channel because it’s real! It never feels like just an ad, or just the same weight loss tips every other influencer gives out. You’re basically one of us lol!
I had bulimia for a long time and I totally get the food for comfort thing! One of the things that helped me was taking time to cook my own meals and considering food in terms of quality rather than quantity! For instance I go to the market and I pick weird fruits and vegetables, and than I learn how to cook them...
Me too.
Came for the weight loss journey, stayed for the personality and realness that you exude in every video whether the mood is up or down.
Not even a question, Bea, ride or die we're sticking with you. It's incredible and inspiring to watch your journey, especially with all of its nuance and complexities. It's so lonely not to see myself reflected in media, and your channel is a gift to those watching.
100% agree with this!
Hell yeah!
Please don't stop! It doesn't matter if you lose weight! You are the reason people watch. People love you! Besides millions of people are in the same situation, they just don't have a youtube channel.
You are real life and with an amazing personality. Please keep going!
I totally 100% agree!!!! We love you don't stop the videos!!!
I'm not a therapist but my thoughts on your sitch are not to call yourself a success or a failure. As you state every video opening, it's a journey... It will take time and effort to figure out how to cope with life's hardships when you've only ever known one coping mechanism. My other advice is for everyone, give yourself the grace you would give anyone else. We are all deserving of support. Love and encouragement to Bea and to all of you! 🥰
I’m not here for your weight loss. I’m here for you. I’m on a similar journey, but whether or not you lose a huge amount of weight, I’m sticking with you. I hope you don’t quit. You have a fun little corner of the internet that I genuinely enjoy and look forward to visiting.🖤
I wasn’t really here just for you losing weight, I was here because you’re awesome 👍🏼
Ditto!
Please don’t quit your channel! You’re so funny and real, the internet needs more influencers like you.
It’s so refreshing to hear someone talk about binging and food addiction in such a real and honest way. I struggle everyday with those things and I honestly feel like no one in my life understands how difficult it is. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone. ❤️
I turned to binge eating after losing my brother and mother both to cancer 3 years apart. Doesn’t help that I’m a nurse so I have the guilt of not being able to save them. I’ve gained over 50 pounds. Watching you gives me hope and helps me remember I’m not alone in this.
Fellow nurse here, you are so incredibly strong. I hope you can release those feelings one day, I know it can be so heavy. Sending you lots of love, you got this girl
Similar story here. I've had an ED since I was 19 and relapsed after both my grandparent's died in a span of 3 months. I'm now trying to work through the mental and emotional trauma through therapy which in turn will help my ED. Weight loss/gain is so much more than just a physical journey. Stay strong, Jenn.
🤗
L
Nurse AND personal trainer here 🙋♀️. But I also suffered a divorce from the man I'd been with since I was 19. Then our daughter died suddenly. Then I made a career change and moved to a different part of the state. Stress on stress on stress. So I gained 20 pounds. Now I'm working in getting it gone. I knew better all along, I've always known how to get/stay fit. I didn't care. My world was rocked, I had to find equilibrium again first. This channel has been a small, integral part of that. Thank you. Keep on truckin'.
I wasn’t a binge eater but a pothead that moved to a martini binge every night. I fill the time with teaching myself how to sew which was an adolescent interest that I never filled. I’m 48 and have finally found my comfort place. Good luck B
please don't quit youtube. your personality honestly is the reason most are here. you could record yourself eating cereal everyday and just talking to us and I'd watch you. mental health journeys are so important and so many ppl need that too ❤️ so much love to you 🥰
I've been waiting for you to have a big revelation about this, weight loss is not everything, being fat is not a crime, being healthy is not about working out and being thin! Being healthy is finding your way to cope w a really crappy world in a way that does the least amount of harm to your body and mind. Love you Bea, I'm excited to see this journey unfold! 💖
this!!! coping. I agree
Yes to all of this! It breaks my heart to see her disappointed in herself when she “relapses”. She deserves all the love and grace, from herself especially.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this is the perfect comment that can be applied to all of us.
Please don’t leave TH-cam. You are literally my comfort and enjoyment (selfish? Yes.). Your channel is the only channel I get notifications on and I get giddy when I see it pop up!
Same!!!! I find so much comfort and joy watching your videos.
Who else felt their heart stop when B said “thought about quitting TH-cam?” Girl, No.
And btw, I’m addicted to having my meals in front of the telle. I can literally be out with people at a fancy restaurant and be wishing I was home in my sweats doing just that. You’re not alone in your weirdness. x Ami
Tell me about it, I eat every time in front of the TV and I would still choose that, than being in a restaurant with all those people around
omg first time I am hearing that and I am so glad because I have that too. I have searched that up multiple times but nobody is talking about it. It’s not like I can’t eat without the tv or TH-cam but it’s not comforting and I am not hungry, plus I don’t enjoy eating. I think this behavior plays a big role in our lifestyle because a lot of us have maybe been already doing this as a kid and are accustomed to it.
I turn to reading or listening to music. There are days where I literally avoid doing any responsibilities and just reading a book for hours. Sometimes I beat myself up for it the next day and sometimes I don’t. We’re all still growing so give yourself grace B
Me too I will read for an in-healthy length of time. This is a form of escapism. I find something soothing is watching a favourite movie whilst doing some sort of crafts at the same time 😊
Me too! Reading anything I want! I don’t care if it’s consider “literature” or if it’s a romcom or a cringy silly YA 😆
Good points, me too! I forget too often to listen to music. Listening to my favorite songs is such a positive experience, and it totally is comforting! And reading too. I'm in the middle of an awesome book right now and all I want to do is read it. It's comforting because it lets me get out of my own head and get really into the story. So I second both of these!
I used to do the same when I was younger, that's why I used to devour books in days, but it was definitely to scape my reality.
@@r_27P All of this👆!
My whole life Ive struggled with my addiction to food. I've always felt alone in this battle, Ive never met anyone else with this addiction or have watched anyone on tv or on youtube with this. My addiction is so bad Ive eaten food out of the trash before. I am horribly ashamed to admit that. This video is life changing for me. This video validates my struggle. I feel like Im finally not alone. You are an amazing person and Im rooting for you. Youre REAL. You are 100% real about losing weight and how hard it actually is and about binge eating! Thank you!!! You make me want to be a better person but in a healthy way. Not "Im gonna starve myself and exercise several times a day" type of way, which is what I usually resort to. I feel so blessed to have found your channel
Please don’t quit TH-cam. You offer something rare, beautiful, authentic, and relatable. Just as the challenge, this is a Try Your Best Bisch life, and we’re all just trying our best, and you make it a little more fun and honest for all of us. ❤️
Don’t quit Bea, we love you! Just so you know, most of us are not here for the weight loss journey, it’s about the struggles we all face when trying to be healthier, more balanced and happier with ourselves and our lives. You have a very relatable way of dealing with these issues and that’s why most of us are here. You go girl! (Sorry, English is not my mother language lol)
Bien dicho! (Y perfectamente)🙂
@@LindaC616 :)
When I first started my recovery I COULD NOT cut out binging without failing over an over again, and it did stop and go away and now I never binge. Every case is different, but have faith in the process and in yourself! Healing from your eating disorder is worth more than going through it.
You should share your story :)
Things that 'comfort me' or at least redirect me in a positive way: hot baths, cancelling plans (I'm an introvert), cleaning one thing, putting on my shoes and stepping outside (sometimes literally just for one minute- but it helps), hiding under a blanket, watching youtube
What I do for comfort:
-binge a tv show (either an old favorite or a new series)
-journal
-turn into a hermit
-go to disneyworld
-FaceTime my friends
It’ll take some trial and error to find what works for you. And therapy and change take time. Be patient and kind to yourself.
Not the topic but being able to go to Disney world/land sounds like a dream 😱👍
I’m glad these work well for you, but personally I find bingeing a show or being a hermit ARE my negative coping mechanisms. I hope this isn’t coming off as mean, and in moderation these things are fine but maybe not the healthiest. The others are great though!
@@Gandellion Am in the same boat and see it as a little bit of column A, a bit of column B? The isolation is not great for anxiety, but at least bingewatching a show doesn't give you pre-diabetes. I give myself a pass when I combine bingewatching with a calming activity, like crafts or folding laundry.
@@intrepidtomato very true! It’s all about what suits you personally. Since binge eating isn’t huuuugely a problem for me it’s okay if I do sometimes, but the hours of doing nothing and rejecting human company that’s my issue
Best video you’ve ever made! You’re unlearning disordered eating and that is HARD!! I’d way rather see someone get healthy than get skinny :)
The opposite of addiction is connection! Bea, you are truly my favorite person on TH-cam. It’s refreshing to hear your honesty without intent to be perceived in a certain light. I am so grateful to have found your channel, and so appreciative that you chose to give all of us the ability to participate in your story.
A LETTER TO BEATRICE
As a fat person watching this video, who has been desperately trying to lose weight for a year and a half, this is spot on. I've been fat since I can remember, if not fat then I've definitely been "chubby but pretty" or "a little big for my age". All these phrases have been ingrained in my psyche by the adults around me who thought it was easier to point out "flaws" on a child's body rather than help her face a problem.
Setting that aside, since I was the biggest person in the classroom, add being tall to that, I was always very prominent. As much as I hated attention, I was always on the receiving end of it. This mean I had to find a coping mechanism; humour. Humour and a faux personality that would compensate for the looks that I didn't have, or society thought I didn't have because they were so drunk on the idea of skinny beauty.
This led to a very uncomfortable relationship with weightloss. I always wanted to lose weight but also lost the will halfway. Since being fat was my identity my whole life, I felt comfortable staying as I was when things like eating less and exercising would bother me. I didn't feel like giving up all things sweet since they helped me at times when I couldn't get out of bed.
So now I'm here in the same loop as you, Beatrice, and hearing you talk yourself down hurts me because I have done that countless times and it has never worked. Whenever I'm stuck on my weightloss journey, you are the first person who comes to my mind and I keep going. None of the other fitness youtubers in their shredded bodies inspire me because they don't show the struggle. The bad days, the breakdowns, the loss of willpower and the disappointing weight gain when one gives up. Your honesty is the best thing about you, so whenever you are feeling down, just know that there is someone who looks up to you because you've shown them how to be perfectly human.
Love you loads,
Marium from Pakistan 🇵🇰
Beautifully said 👏
WOW why were we "taught" when we were little that we have to make up for or compensate for not being skinny. Your experience sounds painfully similar to mine and I had never thought about my need to make up for not looking stereotypically appealing, and how much that impacts daily life. thank you for your comment
It can be a recovery mission, rather than a "weight loss" mission. ❤️
💛💛💛
Clearly, whatever you do, we’re here for it. I mean if well over 125K of us are willing to watch you basically just eat cereal, I’d say that should tell you something! ❤️ You’re not letting anyone down and you need to do what’s best for you, but I really hope you don’t leave TH-cam. So many of us are “Bea-Stans”.
Relating so hard. It has taken me a long time to realize that “comfort” doesn’t equal “go numb.” I not only had just one method of “comfort” - it was basically just stopping feeling anything at all. This is hard but important stuff. You aren’t alone.
I have recently had this breakthrough myself. So hard.
Absolutely!
So well said!
Wow so true
I’ve never thought about comfort = numbness. I’m rethinking many of my habits right now 🙃
I like coloring, I have a few coloring books. I wasn't big about coloring as a kid, but I enjoy it a lot as a decompression as an adult. I have beer and color. It's very satisfying.
I love coloring too! I would invite friends over and we would chat and color and let our kids play outside.
came for your weight loss vids at the very beginning, stayed because you’re a wonderful human! You don’t have to lose a pound for this community to stick around!!
Now THIS is real, meaningful progress! I'm glad you see how much you're helping people by being vulnerable. Who cares if you lose X amount of weight, or any weight, or gain weight. I'm proud of you for figuring out ways to be happy. BTW petting your dog or cat, even though it feels like it's for them, is actually mutually beneficial.
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that can feel defeated in weight loss. But just like you, there are so many of us that are learning how to be healthy...not just with exercise and eating, but with mental and emotional issues as well. Thank you for inspiring me to keep going and to also not be ashamed to seek out therapy for help.
Instead of trying to figure out what brings you comfort, figure out what brings you joy. I’m a huge fan of sitting around doing absolutely nothing and feeling ok about it. Just vegging and watching tv or reading. That’s comforting to me.
The comfort I have turned to in recent years: gardening. Have you ever put a seed in the ground and the have it MAGICALLY grow 6 feet tall and give you food? It's wild and feeds a place deep inside me (ok my stomach but like ALSO the center of who I am emotionally)
I actually want to get more into gardening this summer! My backyard currently looks like a weed farm...not weed... but like goat heads n such lol so it needs a lot of tlc!
Hey Bea, I am very proud of you for prioritizing your mental health. Here are some things that I do for comfort:
-disassociate in the shower
-play games
-shopping
-watch bad action movies with no plot
Shower!!!! always helps me
Don’t quit TH-cam!! I’m sick of “success” stories that are not long term or sustainable. Your content is so important!!
Also, for decompressing... what about some... ahem... self love 😉
To manage stress i sleep or calligraphy or dive into a book for a few hours, without thinking, without considering world outside. Reading is seen as not a relaxing thing for people when you are upset or stressed but honestly i can dive into a book and stop being me. Be brave, stay safe :)
1000% am never unsubscribing. You are making a decision for your health based on how you feel mentally (and physically) and finding another path towards your goal. This is what a real journey to health looks like. Thanks for sharing your ups and downs! Rooting for you :D
I go lay in bed in the dark and watch TH-cam when I need to binge , because being active and social to help being depressed and upset doesn't realistically happen .....I find laying in bed and watching TH-cam help me to cope
Mental health is so important. We don't care if you're not losing weight, we care about your health and well-being. You're doing something for yourself that is very challenging and we're always going to be here to support you
I just found your channel and this video stuck out to me. I hope that your therapy is going well. I just wanted to share something from a recovered binge eater (though I wouldn't say I had a food addiction, so it might be different for you). The book Brain Over Binge changed my life and I haven't binge-eaten in... Maybe 3 years now? Almost 4? I never even have the urge because it came down to the main takeaway: binge eating isn't something I'm always going to do. The book talks a lot about how therapy affected the author's binge eating, so it might relate, but I just wanted to share it with you in case it helps. I'm rooting for you. You deserve a healthy relationship with food that is free from guilt, moralization, and shame. I have poor mental health and struggle with finding comfort in hobbies that I know I enjoy, but going through the motions and routines and rituals of life bring me *ease*, which I value a lot more than comfort. You got this!!!
Also, please don’t quit youtube. You’re so wholesome. I’d watch you stare into the abyss for 20 minutes than you completely leave!
At times when I feel overwhelmed and stressed out, I'll bring all my blankets and pillows and pile them in front of my TV and watch my favorite childhood movies cacooned in them.
That sounds so fun! I may need to try this and my kids would definitely be excited about it:)
So simple, yet I've never come up with the idea to try this. Thank you!
Don’t quit TH-cam. You are on the hardest path you’ll ever be on. Our stories are similar in that food is our drug. It’s an all consuming battle. People go their whole lives without being as honest with themselves as you are and the rawness you show I think could help people realize their own shit.
I’d watch you with or without weight loss. You bring humour to my life and that’s all I need. Life is hard. You make it just a bit easier.