disclaimer: Your Boy is All Good. As I mentioned, this song exists and thusly I feel great after venting out my personal feelings into music. In fact, as I type this now, I am the happiest I've been in a very, very long time. Content with my music, content with my existence, grateful for my fans and ready to continue producing music. With that being said, I know some will still worry about me. But, I can't sing happy songs every day, as no being, human or no, can do! Let's enjoy a world full of many different emotions. I love you guys!
It's worth it, but this song needs some first-hand experience of despair and loneliness to appreciate. Which is to say, to have lived a life as a human.
Keep at it friend! It might be a bit difficult, but with enough perseverance you can get there. I speak from experience, as English is my second language (my mother language being Portuguese).
No haha, all of hololive vtubers are all girls, including Mori Calliope. I don't think they're going to ruin the reputation of their idol group by hiring a fake girl vtuber.
@@soulss21 agree with the others you should edit and just say something about how she's always be. we should encourage people to look into demon. but we don't know contracts and stuff so we shouldn't say there same.
I think the fact that there are real people who are behind the characters sometimes messes with me because all of them are so good it really blurs the line of where the characters stops and where the person begins
@@SirFooplesTheThird honestly, I think that is one of the things that makes VTubers special. More than just a TH-camr with an animated avatar and far more than a simple fictional character.
@@GabrielA-jy9jk I feel ya, except for me I gotta use my money for living. If I can watch her stuff and leave a like and participate when I can I know they appreciate it all
I really respect both her and her manager, many "idol managers" wouldn't want their idol swearing or talking about such deep feelings. you really gotta respect the artistic freedom she is given.
@@Fireholder1 not really true. The existence of a state secures for it's citizens the freedom to not have their freedom of life violated, which by default wouldn't exist, since there would be no law enforcement or law for that matter, without some kind of a state
What a shame to see the comments filled with people who commented before the song even aired. I'd rather see people talking about the lyrics and the flow. Fast paced lyrics, with a somber note. A little bit of clawing at the listener, but also a hint of opening up by the end. I guess you could say this is the other side of "Live Again". Live Again was a melancholic song with a hopeful outlook, while Cursed Night seems to be a depressed song with a glimmer of salvation. Calliope really pours her emotions into these songs and you can tell. This may not be fire and it may not be rain, but it's definitely a pleasurable pain.
The first connection I had when listening to this song was "Nälkämaan laulu", although the ending differs as that one shows its pride for thriving under multiple threats and difficulties. With the couple times I have listened this song I can't say if there is similar prideful undertone. Sadly my musical knowledge doesn't carry any further than this, maybe someone will take the time needed to analyse this song further, thus giving the opportunity for that kind of discussion to progress further.
“It’s justified-can’t help that I romanticize your concern” holy fuck, this hits so incredibly hard. I’m so happy for you though mori, you are producing music and you have a great fanbase and everything is going well for you, i’m happy that things are going well for you. Hopefully I can join and reach the place I want to be as well, but i’m glad things are going better for you :)
There are actually two references here. One of them were the words, "ebb-and-flow", which if you didn't know, is actually the name for OP 2 of Nagi no Asukara. Another one is a Castlevania one, but I only saw someone say that during the premiere so I'm not entirely sure if that's true...
"A terrible night for a curse." Is it just me or is that a Castlevania reference? Awfully similar to "What a horrible night to have a curse." If so, Calli's got taste!
She loves castlevania and btw, this is relevant to your profile pic but I think she likes Persona 3 as well because she said she wanted to do a cover of Mass Destruction!
Calli has made: -A sad song that gets on your feels (Cursed Night) -A fun song (Reaper Ka Rapper) -A fast flow song with a meme (Dead-beats) -An absolute banger (Excuse me but could you please RIP) -A nostalgia-inducing song (Live Again) I can't wait for more, the versatility and talent of this reaper 😍
I'm not enough study English to talk about my thoughts for this song. Please forgive me for a simple and childish impression. I love her and her songs.
Explaining a couple lyrics that might have been overlooked- 1) 1:46 "Wandering Rengoku-shi" was not translated; it is the Japanese name for purgatory, a "place" that many religions believe exists for lost souls between life and death. 2) 1:47 "Sunk-Cost Fallacy" is an economics term, and is most simply described as the opposite of "cutting your losses". It's like saying "I've already come this far, I can't stop now" in hopes that prior costs are justification for future spending. Sunk costs are not always monetary; they can be time expenses, effort expenses, or practically anything that can be viewed as an unrecoverable investment. The lyrics mention her expenses were primarily social (lost) and health (drunk), and suggests her view is that she has fed so much into these "curses" that she might as well keep feeding them.
"Why's it every time that your kindness is making my chest unbearably tight but not for the first time, a terrible night for a curse but don't you worry cuz it hurts fine." As a person that was bullied for quite a long while in my younger days, it can be hard to accept feelings that you were not used to receiving... because your poor self-esteem and anxiety kicks in and "run thru the city lights" Im still working on the anxiety part but im now glad im surrounded by more people that will make my "chest tight and hurts fine" Thank you Cantalou---Calli for another wonderful song and yes, the world of emotions sure is something amiright ahaha ❤ (Btw i just woke up so i might delete if i felt like it---)
the world of emotions sure is something, lovely internet person. sending you a hug from a fella who knows how it feels, for you and whoever feels like a group hug
The world of emotions truly are something, glad you got people that make your "chest tight and hurts fine." Always nice to have people who can do that for you :D (Also don't delete pls I actually quite enjoy comments like these)
I just realized a double meaning in the line: "If some [body] holds you back then you cannot become God." 1:58 Somebody vs. Some Body, somebody = someone else, some body = the concept of a body, one's own The song's question is "do you want to see the beauty of this despair?" Everyone is focused on "some body," when really what they are feeling is something beyond body. The ending line instructs the listener "This time, look for your(self)," implying both look inward and see it with your own eyes. Calli / Kali, (Sanskrit: “She Who Is Death”), who's virtual body has been almost glitching out of existence, disappears after this line, leaving the field of souls (orbs of light in the video) to realize that they are not alone. The "beauty in despair" is seen when the "self," not constrained to a body, sees that it contains all. The virtual construct Calli "reaps" (collects) the suffering (souls) of listeners and transforms it into a mirror through which a multitude of souls realize they are indeed, one.
Lyrics: The days are blending together Pretending like I don't notice Drowning in mental fog so thick my hands might close where my throat is. Not gonna rap that "I'm cursed" My words got heavy And sure enough the steady ebb-and-flow of life subsided, but I wasn't ready Last night, I thought up a song But I'm too wired to hum it Inspired sight, like tunnel-vision on the life I got from it Not tired yet, right? Hah. "It's fun," I'll tell ya that much. Adventures oughta be remembered as such. But, I'm not well. Not today, not tomorrow These souls inside my pocket are just sanity I borrow "Sayonara" to the sorrow of eternity alone? Ya, right. Part of the joke is that it's all that I've known It's justified - can't help that I romanticize your concern Now I can fantasize forever if you never say the words "Goodbye" This tainted mind-set really must go free Finding someone so fXckin' wonderful when I'm just so... ..."me." Searching by city light, You'll never find me. Running through a cursed night "Do you have a death wish?" Shut the lid tight, it's complicated Could ya not look inside, it's complicated. Somehow, I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown to shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows" 自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?) この絶望の美しさ (kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa) Laid back in the cracks of my past, it's kinda funny Got sick of the tricking myself into thinking that others would only run from me because, as you know, I'm Death- You heard about me? I'm kinda famous, now it's awkward... But welcome to my constant state of mind Like, could you knock first? 話せない言葉 (hanasenai kotoba) みんなの心配ごとは (minna no shinpai goto wa) 耳につながらない (mimi ni tsunagaranai) Why's it every time that your kindness is making my chest unbearably tight? But, not for the first time A terrible night for a curse, but don't you worry, cuz it hurts fine. Drunk, lost, CalliP Wandering Rengoku-shi Enlighten me - is this what they call a "sunk cost fallacy?" Frightening, in spite of things I want tossed my way I'm looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days. "By myself" is just better. I know I say that a lot. But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god. Lost in the night, 情けない (nasakenai) Hostile, hostage or free These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see. Searching by city light, You'll never find me. Running through a cursed night "Do you have a death wish?" Shut the lid tight, it's complicated Could ya not look inside, it's complicated. Somehow, I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown to shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows" 自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?) この絶望の美しさ (kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa) 自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?) この絶望。。。 (kono zetsubou) 自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?) wanna see it? fine, this time, look for yourself.
This song honestly feels like a forward moving loneliness. She sings about how she can’t become “god” with anyone holding her back so she has to go alone. Sometimes to become the best version of yourself you need to be alone and even though loneliness is painful the progress you can make alone is worth it. There’s a beauty in the hard things in life and even if you can’t see it as long as you keep moving forward that’s what matters most.
The fact I stayed up hella late to listen to this as it premiered is probably weakening my ability to control my emotions, but... As I lay here in bed, reading comments while listening to this song - going back, listening again and again, giving every line time to marinate... I’m quietly sobbing. I feel the sadness, the frustration, the despair - and at the same time, I feel relief. Calli, you’ve been through a fuckload of pressure these last couple months, from both the inside and the outside. Positive and negative. I’m in awe at your ability to put these feelings of yours not only to words, but to song in such a beautiful way. It’s inspiring! But also a great relief - sad as the song is, it’s proof you’re not just gonna bottle up all that pressure forever. Letting it out is so good! I’m glad for you. I’m still in what feels like an infinite pressure state in my own life, and I’ve yet to figure out how to get my mind reconfigured to relieve that pressure in a productive way. But goddamn, I’m glad you shared this song, Calli. You’re out here proving it can be done! Big ups. :}
Dude, I’m in the same kinda place. Feels like there’s no way out, no good, satisfying way to vent all that’s about to overwhelm me. Hang in there, fellow Deadbeat. We can make it out of the cursed night.
Woahaaaa....Fancy meeting you here Yume......I honestly didn't expect seeing you here, have a nice day. @ Mori Calliope Ch. hololive-EN I agree with Yume.
I really love Calli now. She is just SUCH a queen. She isn't scared of showing her feelings. Lots of people see vtubers as just someone playing a character. Maybe at the beginning, but I think later on they all show their true feelings. Tears are welling up in my eyes lol. This song really came at a good time. I was feeling really down these days and then I suddenly saw that Calli granted us this beautiful song. From the way she sings you can hear that every sentence is filled with emotions. Thank you for existing Calli. I was with you since the beginning and I promise you that I will be supporting you forever! :)
@@cretannia9790 I was kinda just pulling that one out of my ass as a shitty one-liner since the dude wrote an entire paragraph on why he's in love with some anime girl. > Regardless, who cares? All the small business owners who've had their livelihoods destroyed by "mostly peaceful protesters"
Omg i feel that should be one more masterpiece ------------- Yes I can feel it. Not just a great track, but a hit that hits right in kokoro. Thank you Calli for such emotions. We love you!!!
"A Terrible Night For A Curse" seeing this song name, I was waiting for the Castlevania reference and I wasn't disappointed :) that aside, super amazing song Calli!!!!
@@true_neutral3378 Castlevania 2, which had a day and night cycle. When night hits, that line pops up and the world becomes much more dangerous until the sun comes back.
Hello, I’m a time traveler! I actually stole Watson’s time machine and initiated a war because of it! You will probably hear of me in some years! Anyways, I’m just here to say that, yes, this replay will make you listen to this song as much as I used to before the war! About half of your day, every day, will have this song as soundtrack!
Listening to that song, I realize that neither Calli nor probably anyone listening to this song would ever acknowledge my existence at all. Which is a weird feeling. That said, I'm also comfortable writing this here to just get it off my chest because of that, and tomorrow the thought will probably be gone, so I'll be fine. Still it's weird, but well. In any case, I'm still really happy that she has already come this far, she definitely deserves it and so much more still. Keep giving it your all, Calli.
"These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see." Growing out of that is probably the hardest part of anything that has to do with life. This hit really hard for me... but at the same time, it feels like you're pushing all of us forward with it anyway, including yourself. We're here for you, Calli.
@@classypotato9255 I've mostly left those days behind, but I still remember how, for most of my teenage years and even a bit into my first stint in college, I had a stubborn confirmation bias, one that not only locked me into seeing things only from one side, but also really messed me up mentally -- because I never saw myself as anything more than a dead weight to my family. I never stopped to think, 'but what if I'm just outright wrong?' while I still had those biases at all, and I only really got rid of the worst of it recently. Those thoughts still creep back in every now and then. But I'm coping. At least I can say I'm living with those malformed ideas and setting them aside to get things done.
@@Thentavius that's kinda how I interpreted it too, confirmation bias. Reading your experience, I actually had something quite similar, sometimes not seeing my flaws, sometimes not seeing my strengths. Recently found out I most likely have ADHD and it explains so, so much about my life that I'm wondering how I never realized, and how all the theories I invented about myself and how I function are now mostly obsolete in face of that realization. It's weird, I'm still disoriented but I guess I understand myself better and better overtime now.
"Sayonara to the sorrow of eternity alone" "Excuse me, sorry, taihen, time to say goodbye again..." "Don't mean nada to the queen of sayonara" "Promise it's a matter of time before we're best friends" "We'll be best friends, that's the end of it" There are some Themes in CallioP's music and I'm here for it.
It’s wonderful to watch. Hope her time with Hololive (and the Deadbeats) helps her work through some of whatever she’s got in her life in the long term. Sounds like it’s needed.
"It's justified- can't help that I romanticize your concern" God that lyric hits hard. Too many times I've felt myself overwhelmed, and just silently hoping someone will notice, so I don't have to reach out myself and feel selfish or annoying.
"'do you have a death wish'" "shut up it's complicated" goddamn that really hits hard. reminds me of times when i just have to get out of the house and take a walk in the middle of the night, even if that's legitimately something that could get you killed here. it's a hell of a mood.
@@foreigngrounds9776 that's why you have to have a bit of a death wish to do it. I used to walk along the side of the highway half hoping I'd get hit by a car going 60 and never even notice. It's just... complicated.
@@kishinslayer2228 ............................Thats really heavy. I used to think about suicide alot, one time I spent an hour wandering on a bridge wanting ot jump off it. But whenever a car would go by, which was constantly btw. I'd think: "I dont want someone to see me do this". For whatever reason, shrug.
I can really relate to this and sympathize. Depression or Mania, neither can decide which one wants to show. Then you feel as if your actions mean nothing to others and when you receive praise or a compliment it's hard to know how to respond because you don't know if you deserve it. A tinge of imposter syndrome in there, "Is this even my success or am I fake? Did I steal it?" The anxiety is real. Sasuga Calliope Ojou-sama. I feel you deserve this title and the accolades others give. Thanks for sharing your feelings and know that we are behind you every step of the way. Some of us dodging scythe swings, but that's another story.
Never listened to any of Calli's songs. Hell, this is the first time I've paid any attention to hololive. I don't even really relate to this song, and rap isn't typically my cup of tea. But... I'm fucking addicted to this, and have been for a couple weeks now. _Why?_ Fuck if I know, but I can't get it out of my head at all. Funnily, I've started learning Japanese right when I stumbled upon this, and I'm having fun memorizing the Japanese lyrics here. Calli here just has such a wonderful voice, rythm, and she's clearly a talented lyricist. Combine this with the relaxed rythm and you have something that I inexplicably love.
@@fabulous7ssbu Oh trust me, in the two months since posting this comment I've definitely explored more of Calli's channel and life. What a stunning lyricist.
This song's lyrics are sad at times, but the song itself was kind of relaxing to listen to especially cause of the chill mood it had imo. It's Like the feeling you get when you just sit down and talk about life with someone, it can be sad but comforting at the same time. I like it a lot, it made me feel things.
It's the feeling of having a heart-to-heart talk with someone about them recognizing and dealing with their problem. You feel sad, but equally as happy because you know that the person is trying or doing their best to overcome the problem.
@@thedude6058 Yeah I knew you were talking about NF, just wanted confirmation. Anyways, try listening to KAAN. He has some dope songs with similar subject matter like NF. You could give White Lines a listen.
@@Arantiuss it's not that the people caused emotional issues. It's pretty obvious the feelings of not deserving good things was always there, Calli was just forced to face it rather suddenly, and while on stream, too haha
"I think amidst the happiness, there comes a time for venting the feelings that spill out on your Cursed Nights." Oh Boy this is gonna be a Wild Ride that i can't wait for
Cant begin to describe how much I feel this song. Lately all my nights have been crsed and almost every sad song Ive heard was about anything but oh, he left what a jerk. This is so new combining new vibes to old vibes adding bilingual rap. I'm so fan of this. Deadbeat forever.
Hey if your thoughts are coming out at night it's the perfect time to have a chat with them, is it not? It's frightening, it hurts and they have many mean things to say, but they come from a place of hurt that, if not outright cured, can be alleviated if you understand it. It can be the first step to accepting yourself as you are, because you might as well I mean you're the only person your life is guaranteed to be spent with so you might as well get along. It's not a panacea and you won't reach any form of enlightenment that will finally make you the person you want to be but the clarity that comes with accepting oneself as you are gives you a way to finally understand how you need to work on yourself to become better. And that is something PRICELESS.
Ngl I’m so grateful that vtubers exists, I thought I was gonna celebrate Halloween alone, but then watching vtubers streaming and celebrating Halloween with viewers got me happy af.
Thats great, peronally I dont have any problems being alone even for extended periods of time, but Im still really glad that Hololive exists. BTW are you hyped for HololiveID Gen 2? The first debut is tomorrow, I cant wait.
@@Rar830 I only stick to my Mori. Perhaps I'll get Watson soon, but I have to be interested. I predict Watson will get one million around February 12th. At the earliest, the 9th, and at the latest... well people could just stop subbing, but around the 14th is where the math tells me. For the last three days (possibly more, but I've only been checking for the past three), Watson has gained 2k subs a day. She is currently at 986k, needs 14k more. At two thousand a day, a week at the very most. (I've seen a couple channels just jump in numbers as they creep closer to the big number. Then, they kind of stop for a while. I have a sub and they only needed about 7k before one million. I.saw that in early December and they got the mill before Christmas. As it stands, the channel still says one mill, not even 1.01 mill.)
@@andyjo7838 That's cool, I like to keep track the EN girls progress too, but I only every 2 weeks or so. Cuz I like seeing how much they've grown, but only when it's substantial hence why I don't check a lot. My faves pretty obvious, I don't watch any of Mori's streams (except her first kareoke), but I am a big fan of her music. Which of strange because I'm only into anime songs/Game soundtracks and also hate rap. The latter sentiment I've seen expressed a surprising amount, so I guess that's not unusual. Her music has a lot of personality and a unique style to it, if that makes sense. In retrospect I also don't like a lot of Gura's covers, but I'm I just like hearing her singing voice, so that's not surprising.
So after seeing my best friend "Live Again", followed my own "Cursed Night". Feels like I got rejected before I even confessed to him. We're drifting apart, and it seems he found himself a new best friend as well. Halloween was indeed a terrible night for a curse - not to mention it was my birthday. Right now I guess being "by myself" is just better. No one's gonna hold me back from loving myself this time. Hope the rest of the year is good to you. I'll just be in the backseat enjoying the rest of my time here among Holobros. :}
Bunny's right. Even if it's hard to love yourself, at least be comfortable with yourself. You're going to be living your whole life with -you-, after all. And above all, that helps you deal with rejection or even people moving away from you. Still, I know rejection can be rough. Take care of yourself.
As someone who don't really listen to rap, I still have a small list of rap songs I absolutely love, half of it is your songs, and the other half is the Luv Sic album. Your lyricism and how you don't abuse explicit words have always reminded me of Shing02 and I guess that is why I enjoy your songs so much, but now this song brought both the chill yet cozy feeling of Nujabes and the lyricism of Shing02 and I can't even think of a good enough praise for it. If you can read this Mori, thanks for making songs straight from your heart, and take care of yourself, don't rush it, anything that is great needs time to make, and no one, human or no, can keep moving forward without some time to chill down. Also, if you happen to come across Nujabes, please tell him his music is still spreading love and good vibes everyday.
Nujabes has gotten me through hard times indeed,his music is truly beautiful and unique and may he find happiness in the music hes made in his current life. Im also not much of a fan of rap but callis more laid back songs really hit me hard,this one especially! The best music is always ones made through expression of emotions no matter how dark or light and calli through her recent dark state of emotions has beautifully poured those emotions into this song. I eagerly look forward to more of these kinds of songs regardless of how they sound
This song hits me personally, for about 5-6 months at the beginning of this year I shut myself away from my friends because I thought maybe I didn’t belong (I had just broke up with my first girlfriend in November) but while I was isolating myself from my friends none of my friends ever tried talking to me which sent me into a further state of despair, thinking “They must hate me and think I don’t belong in their group.” You may be expecting a happy ending but I had to go back to them myself and to this day I still feel unsure of myself and if I really matter to the people I care about.
Look, this is something you can decide by yourself, if none of them contacted you in those 6 months, the truth is they probably didn't notice you weren't there(this mainly depends on if your friend group is comprised of like 3-7 people or 20-50), which, in turn, means they don't really care. I wouldn't really say to just leave, but you could ask anyone that you feel particularly attached to about it, but after that it's for you to decide. And if you want my opinion on it, I would leave and worry more about myself than how they feel about it, especially after them ignoring me for 6 months.
I disagree with the other reply, I don't think your friends don't care. Sometimes depression makes us shut ourselves out in a way that makes it hard for others to reach out to us. You have to reach to them or they might think that you are the one that doesn't care about them. Be honest, it usually works, and try bringing it up with them.
I stand with Salati on this one, it does not necessarily mean they dont care. I would know, since I had the shutting-myself-out episode too. Like with yourself, it really did not help and I still sometimes have to force myself to speak up to others, simply to maintain the relationship. But that is how it works, if they dont go both ways they either are toxic, or just collapse. Remember that doing your best does not mean doing the best you possibly could all the time, sometimes our best is just saying "hey, what's up? wanna grab a coffee?" when not feeling like it at the moment.
Yeah, real life isn't some anime where even teenagers act like 50-year-old lifelong friends. Your friends probably do care about you, but they're just as wrapped in their own insecurities to see that you might have your own issues. They're probably just like you. Most people are. All you have to do is enjoy their company and not worry about whether or not they care. You will only meet one or two people in your entire life who will ever go out of their way to check on you. Don't be discouraged by all the others out there who are just like you and are so overcome by their own insecurities to worry about those of someone else.
I just want to say, beyond the song just being beautiful, as an introvert who has struggled with chronic depression for over a decade, this song really resonates with me. I'm glad to hear you have a good system to vent, I'm still looking for mine, though drowning it with the warmth the Hololive members (especially you, Ina, and Subaru; but all the hololive talent has proven effective) give certainly helps. I'm looking forward to seeing you continue your journey, and I hope your move has gone well.
That was beautiful. This is the perfect depiction of the clash between the feelings that Calli has been fighting with ever since before joining Hololive and the feelings that started to flood because of her work as a holoEN member. This is why we all are here, from all over the world, gathered to watch hololive. The characters they embody are just a shell, that can only be fullfilled by the sentiments and the humanity of the person behind it all. We all love to watch you grow, and pour little by little of yourself into that shell. If it was just the character, it wouldn't be the same, as it wouldn't be the same if it was just the person. What you guys do is a brand new thing, the birth of a new concept, the perfect merge of a real person and a fictional character, and it is what we all love and appreciate. That song is trully beautiful, in every way you can think of it. It's very human, and it clearly touched a lot of people. We are very glad we can share these moments with you, Calli, and we will always be here, cheering for you, no matter what path you choose to take. For we are Dead Beats, and this is the path we've chosen. Walk by your side, giving you all our love and support, be it in bad moments or good moments. Thanks for everything you've done so far, and remember to crack open a cold one in name of the bright future ahead of you. Cheers!
Man,calli's voice is just so perfect.she can make u calm or be like vibin so hard,and also ofc the music,lyrics she makes.she is such a great producer!!imagine if we get calli to win a big award on a big global music event.shall we bois?
She needs to work harder if she's aiming for that. But for now, i think she should be focusing on HoloEN atm, aiming too high can lead to depression and other mental illness, and I don't want that.
I really love how the second verse makes use of Calli's persona. She uses her symbol as death as a means for justifying her self hatred, before realizing people love her, but then finding that constant attention awkward as they peer into her life constantly. Imagine going from considering yourself a cold hard demon, and suddenly having your feelings exposed to the world on camera.
You know, before I listened to this song, I was wondering who my fave in HoloEN really was. Afterwards, I think I've made my mind. I love this song not just because it's a great song for me. I love this song because you can feel Calli's raw emotions from it. She's made a variety of songs, each one carrying distinct feelings, and I think in this one, we see Calli in a different light than before. That image of vulnerability, sadness, etc in this song was shown and sung about so well, that you can feel it alongside her. I really don't know how to explain it into words, but this song really made me realize just how much I love Calli.
I played this song many times and even on 0.5 speed to understand it better, but some meanings are still lost I think... Could you make an explanation video as an English learning stream? I think you have many fans who do not speak English native... Love to all deadbeats
I think she has expressed interest in doing a lyric review of her songs before. I, for one, would also be interested in that type of stream, and I speak English natively!
@Kuta Ch. 白澤クタ Since you have a Japanese name, I assume you’re Japanese. If you want to see the Japanese subtitles, you just need to click on the ‘CC’. I’m not sure how accurate they are though, my Japanese is barely intermediate. あなたの名前は日本語にだから、日本人だと思う。日本語字幕を見えたければ、その「CC」を押す。でも、正確さ知らない、自分の日本語はまだ中級だけだ。
The song's general theme is Callie trying to fighting the sadness and loneliness of her past self. Lots of the lyrics are comprised of English idioms (popular sayings) and metaphors (comparisons of an abstract idea to a physical thing/event, these are very common in English)
a lot of the lyrics are word plays using english idioms (sayings) and plays on words like "somebody" and "some body" many double, triple meanings. calli also has a talent of making word plays across languages between english and nihongo. for example the japanese "seiso" sounds like the english "say so". she makes a lot of japanese -- english wordplays in her songs.
Can I use this as a checkpoint? I've ignored some in my life and I'll delete this if it shouldn't be here. As far as I've remembered, I was that one kid in elementary who would like to show or just have a feeling of being better to which didn't really lead me to the right path when I entered middle school, and didn't help me get well with my peers. Middle school I was the bully for all of those years which made it worse in trying to make friends since I either stole or picked on them, wasn't doing well in school or even with my own family members since I'd take some money from my parents which we had a hard time earning at the time. High school I stopped being the bully and made some good friends mainly because I got the opportunity to change myself, no I didn't move but at least the people were willing to accept me and I changed a bit. However, my silence towards my family during those years made the relationship hard to be a family. I practically didn't know anything in my family and neither did my parents knew about me, even tho they gave me things like a phone and laptop. It wasn't just my family that didn't know who I was but my friends too since I kept lying to them about my life. Eventually around my last year of high school everything I enjoyed began to slowly stop feeling fun and became something to burn time to which became something that painfully drains me daily then having suicidal thoughts or running away or committing crimes. 2 years later I'm still lying about my life and everything is hurting, haven't been eating well to the point where its a small bowl of food twice a day as my meal by choice, being with or by myself even drains me of my energy. This year after finding Azki's song FAKE FAKE FAKE when I was on auto play, Hololive and Holostars helped me gain back my energy whenever I tuned in. But eventually I slowly stopped wanting to watch the streams that I marked for a notification for when it goes live and leaving streams 30mins into it because I wasn't feeling it anymore. I still enjoy Hololive, Holostars clips and Nijisanji clips but it sucks knowing the things I go to to get my energy back stops working for me because I'm scared of losing myself for when nothing works. I don't know what to do with myself right now really other than keep going. I do want to say one thing tho. . . It's a big thanks Mori for making this song. I usually see parts of my past during my quiet nights once and a while and ignore it but this song made me look at whats happened and where exactly I am and this song made look back and reflect for once and it's great to hear you're feeling better champ. 11/3/2020 4:38am
@@JRN99 Doing better rn. I've been singing to help me vent like Calli since I always bottle everything up inside and its actually pretty fun. Singing this song or just listening to it makes me feel better especially when the last words of the song is "This time look for yourself".
I've already written a comment after listening to this song for the first itme and tried to understand it... god I was so wrong (and immediately deleted the first post as soon as I've realized that) I´ve listened to this song for at least an hour straight by now and I think, I´ve finally understood what she´s trying to tell us.... I think she´s jsut having a really hard time to change her mindset from " by myself is just better" to "~I´m so glad to be surrounded by all of you" without having a doubt in mind that we might abandon her at some point. especially the lines "shut the lid tight, it´s complicated. Could ya not look inside it´s complicated" at the end of the first verse and "自分の目で見えたいの you wanna see it? fine, this time look for yourself" at the very end make me feel that she´s really really having trouble changing it since she first wants us to stay out of her mind and only know the things about her she literally says and then shifted to ~fine, I may not THINK that its good but inside I KNOW that this (you guys as なかま) is how close I want you guys be. At first I thought that "fine, this time" is meant a little toxic as in "~okay, after telling you guys hundreds of times, It´s finally your time to think" but later I realized/interpreted it as explained above there´s so much more I want to write but I´m terrible at formulating my thoughts therefore I´m gonna end this comment with a little message to calli: take your time - the deadbeats will stay by your side and support every decision you make! It also doesn´t matter that you dont stream as often as others - take care of yourself. That´s our wish #1 (plus I hope I interpreted it the right way - if not, this comment is strange) PS: pretty sure you could tell but english is not my first language, so sorry if there might are some major mistakes which make reading some passages hard to understand
I'm not native too and I'm having a hard time grasping some of the concepts behind the verses, but you enlightened me on so much that I'd like to hear your take on this specific part: "By myself is just better I know I say that a lot. But if somebody holds you back, then You cannot become God" I think the first 2 lines express her battling with her previous concept of being better off by herself, but then there's lines 3 and 4 in which "become God" could mean achieve her dreams/goals and become the best version of herself, but in the way it's phrased she's still scared of someone else holding her back. And what confuses me is the BUT between the 2 parts: they don't seem to be opposed, in the first part she explains she thought being alone is better and in the second part (about not being able to achieve her goals because of others) she seems to reaffirm why being alone should be better, instead of reaching a different conclusion. I'm sorry if this is written I a way that makes it difficult to understand, Idk how to phrase it easily
@@giuseppepiuma1965 that part was actually one which stood out to me greatly aswell! particularly because of the word "but" which seemed off as you explained. but using "but" like that really made both the line and the song so much stronger in the sense of telling that she REALLY struggles (especially since she´s not only singing about struggling but about being in DESPAIR 絶望) Imagining her trying to come up with something which weakens her own statement but ending up strengthening it at the end is something that... I dunno... I cant help but want to support her so much more! I´m so impressed by how strong these 4 lines are, and what feelings they carry EDIT: (dont take this paragraph too serious pls) about the "become god" part: I dont really know how to interpret that since I dont have enough insight into her RL (which is good). Ofc it could be to become a great musician but I think that there is much much more behind it which I cannot fully grasp. Having others around 24/7 is stressful and some of them might be a nuisance when connected to some topics e.g. your hobbys/goals (they might try to make you overly cautious out of concern which slows down your progress) - maybe it´s about that? btw: it was really easy to understand ^^ PS: I feel honored to have enlightened someone >.
@@Lotus-bh1jw Ehi thank you for answering! Yeah I thought about a similar explanation too ("falling" back on the same concept as reinforcing the struggle) but was not so sure; it could be nonetheless, very interesting song with so many layers as well, sasuga Mori-sama. Thank you again, have a nice day😉
Listening to this over and over. It’s incredibly underrated. It hits way different when you see glimpses behind the death queen fascade, and we see a bit of who she actually is... it’s amazing. I’m glad that she’s in a better place now, but God. This just. Hits different. Will be making an animatic of this for sure.
Traducción al español de la descripción(NOTA)+Comentario fijado / Spanish Translation of the video's description(NOTE) and pinned comment Descripción "NOTA: Una gran advertencia se viene en los comentarios fijados, pero por favor recuerden que la música es una salida para las emociones, ¿no lo es? Y debido a que esta canción existe, siento la fuerza de continuar adelante en todo lo que hago. Creo que entre toda esta felicidad, viene el tiempo de dejar salir los sentimientos que se derraman en tus Noches Malditas*. Esta canción de verdad está maldita desde el principio, ambos Ks y yo experimentamos algunas dificultades técnicas muy pesadas. Sin embargo, es una de las canciones de las que estoy mas orgullosa. Espero que le den una escuchada! PAZ." Comentario fijado "advertencia: Vuestro chico está bien, Como ya mencioné, esta canción existe, por tanto me siento genial después de ventilar mis sentimientos personales en música. De hecho, mientras escribo esto, soy lo mas feliz que he sido en mucho mucho tiempo. Contenta con mi música, contenta con mi existencia, agradecida por mis fans y lista para continuar produciendo música. Con eso dicho, sé que algunos aún así se preocuparan por mi. Pero no puedo cantar canciones felices todos los días, como ningún ser, humano o no, podría hacerlo!. Disfrutemos un mundo lleno de emociones diferentes. Los amo!" ---------------------------- *Noches Malditas es el titulo traducido en plural de la canción, "Cursed Night"
I'll be honest: I really haven't been into rap since I was in middle school. But this song...I had to give it a second listen, then a third. I don't really know how to explain it since I'm no wordsmith or smart but it. I dunno, it touched me. Reminded me of times I was at my lowest, when I couldnt do anything without getting faced with overwhelming frustration either from an external source or from my own short comings. It really puts things into perspective from how low I used to be and how things are now, you know? I think songs like that are super important to put things into perspective. As such, big ups Calli for getting me back into a genre I havent enjoyed in like 13 years. Keep it real you madlass of a Grim Rapper ✌
Song Analysis (Part 2): The final segment of verse two covers much the same ground, but in words that convey the pressure and despair Calli feels at their height. Admitting to another pleasant phrase that hides deeper feelings, Calli explains that if she allows someone in, to see more than the act and hold her back, then she can’t become something more for them, something more than them. The tragedy of those seen as transcendent beings is that, to sustain the illusion, they must be able to carry and care for everything. There is no one to care for them as they can’t be weak enough to need others. Naturally, no sentient being can become a system, much less one that perfectly provides for all who rely on it. Failing to care for yourself as a person, no matter how great your role, will leave you “lost in the night;” trapped in an elevated, isolated plane where sympathy can’t truly exist, as you’d have to be another knowable, vulnerable person to receive it. The emotional dependency and immaturity of this relationship, between a genuine simp and their supposed goddess, is fittingly framed as childish. The stability people reap from “god” is one they don’t need to create for themselves; an eternal source that only requires tunnel-vision to access. In Calli’s case, she recognizes the limitation of being Hostile (Reaper), Hostage (Performer), or Free (Rapper), as these performative roles only offer an incomplete/immature perspective; and thus, an incomplete/immature stability. “These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see.” As a result of playing into these personas so thoroughly, Calli must continually ask herself if she wants to confront the growing despair, as it’s something those childish eyes won’t let her see. After being treated to the song’s hook once more, and asked again about seeing the beauty of her despair, a sudden silence falls. The long-held façade Calli maintained during her performance, during “the day,” vanishes; followed shortly by the surroundings drowned in filtered (sun)light. A purple screen/sky briefly holding their place before a beautiful scream ushers us into the Cursed Night, Calli and the surrounding sky reappearing in natural blue hues. Aesthetically and functionally, this transition is another reference to Castlevannia; wherein everyday people disappear after nightfall, leaving you to contend with monsters. In this way, the Cursed Night is where the listener, and Calli (the person), are shown a side of her inner doubts/demons. This blue-toned Calli is the performer, the beautiful despair we’ve been asked up til now if we’d like to see. As her first scream passes, she cuts to the real question, “Do you want to see it with your own eyes? This despair….” The despair that doesn’t take form as a beautiful song. With the pretense of beauty finally dropped, a second scream follows and the seemingly opaque performer wavers. This is because our inside look into Calli is still somewhat superficial. We’ve only confirmed that the unmasked face of her despair lies deeper. Once this last scream passes, she asks for the last time, beautifully then plainly, if we want to see her despair with our own eyes. But while we continue listening for further insight, she disappears with the words: “Fine, this time, look for yourself.” As the beautiful despair disappears from our world, both Calli and her listeners are left to face an empty sky, the void that was once filled with her performance. For our part, by walking in Calli’s shoes, and occupying that space for ourselves, we’re tasked with finding peace and happiness by our own design. To throw off the tethers of passive dependence, and effectively become our own gods, so that Calli doesn’t need to be, at least not as much. By making efforts to find our own footing and create a more worthwhile world, we reduce the burden felt by those who truthfully tire themselves out working alone in service of that goal. We’re certain to stumble as we aim for this ideal, made to take up a daunting weight which most people avoid, but as we do so, we can begin to see the true face of Calli’s lonely despair, not just the distant sight of its shadow. Following this path long enough, the reverence of idols/gods may diminish, but the people behind them can better flourish - the weight of the world now shared by others, in large and small ways. As for Calli herself, that final line is spoken from the dressed-up despair she acquired by becoming a lonely god. That mass of feeling now signing out and directing her to stop looking through the childish eyes of “Hostile, Hostage, or Free,” and see through her own. To look for herself this time, and confront the daunting weight of her despair, so that she can find a way to end the Cursed Night.
I've listened to rap since I was young soul. I enjoy the style and the beats and vibin with the music, but then there are few songs that I've listened to over the years where I knew immediately "Oh.. I really need to pay attention to what's being said". To those song, I hold a special place in my heart, because to me the become more like poetry than music. Calli this will be a song that I will be able to play at any point in my life that will remind me to reflect on myself and what I can do to be better, and may even remind me that sometimes there's nothing I can do but to tough out the Cursed Nights. I sincerely mean this, Thank you.
@@bobwasowsky270 one there's tons out there help show it help people like cali hopsin demondice little dicky push there love for the genre. listen to little dicky scary thoughts. listen to hopsin ill mind 6 (and 5) and dimedice well everything really push her up if you like cali.
Calliope, I knew your channel by snippets of lives that the channel "VTuber Cocopostagem" and others put with subtitles in Portuguese, I recently subscribed to the channel to see the lives and ended up listening to the songs you make, and you know, I really like them, no I can understand the lyrics very well, I can only translate excerpts into Portuguese, but I can feel the emotion in each word very well, it amazes me, the grandeur in his voice, the change from English to Japanese, everything is very well done, I really like it of you and your music and I wish you much success. Forgiveness for mistakes, translated by Google.
I've never been much for socializing but damn, I've never wanted to have a conversation with a specific person as much as I do with Calli after hearing this song. I wanna hear this girl's story
Honestly yeah, I agree. Not really invested in hololive, but Calli honestly seems like a very real and down-to-Earth person behind the facade. A good person to have a chat with.
Calli, I think this the best one so far. You put so much of yourself into this song. We all feel closer to you listening to this: it's beautiful. I understand not feeling deserving of the good things around you. But you earned this with all your hard work. You deserve every moment of this because you inspire us; we're happy to support you. Thank you so much
I really love how 90% of the comments is us deadbeats guessing and analyzing each lyric of the song. It truly shows that Calli gave a lot of herself in the making of this song. I absolutely love it. The phrase that got stuck in my head is: ' "By myself" is just better. I know i say it a lot. But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god '
Didn't like rap before, didn't really take vtubers seriously either. But then Calli appeared with her "Dead Beats" EP. At first, I was just interested. Turned out, all vtubers were actually talented people that deserved attention, and rap can be somewhat listenable. I was sucked into the vtuber hell, and I'm kinda grateful to Calli for it. And now, a rap song by a vtuber just made me cry. How did I even get here in just over a month? Anyway, thank you, Calli, for your music that kinda changed my view on some things.
hard to find good rap nowadays, i wasn't interested aswell untill i found someone like nujabes and a plethora of other rappers with actual thoughts put into their lyrics.
calli really is quickly becoming one of my favorite musicians. nothing but quality and genuine emotion (or comedy, depending on the song) poured into everything she puts out. been listening to Dead Beats so much and this instantly fits into the rotation.
"Any art formed from passion will always be beautiful, no matter what that passion may be." The line is a bit cheesy but it kinda helped me some time ago, maybe it helps you too!
@Raul it could be both tbh, wouldn't put it past her to have some slick double meanings all throughout her songs. Like with the "could you knock first?" , "shut the lid tight", "cannot become god", and "fine, this time look for yourself" all come together in my head to say she doesnt want intrusion and wants to tough it out alone for herself but, with the final line, concedes that yeah if you're gonna push in anyway then do it, but she isnt gonna help you in that endeavor. Like she doesnt want help or pity, but feels that need for support and understanding anyway.
Calli. Whilst you may not know 99% of your fanbase and possibly just how much they care about you, (Even if you are just an internet personality) just know that you have impacted many. Please continue you being you and we will always love and support you.
Calli, I know you'll likely not read this and frankly speaking this has nothing to do with the video but I just really want to tell you something. In the last few days I've been feeling really down but after looking around your channel and seeing how much work you put into everything you do, it inspired me and I found a new purpose. Even this video alone tells me that you can sing, you can draw and you can mix. Those things must have taken years and years to master. I want to be able to work as hard as you and push myself further and further and I'll start today. Thank you for being an inspiration. I know I'm not the only one you inspired to take the first step.
I love these kinds of songs, it's always good to see creators that know they have to put their feelings into their work even if they aren't pleasant ones. And on the other end the fans need to realize that just because the art is full of rough emotions doesn't mean the creator is suffering. This reminds me a lot of when THHK put out Mister Jewel Box to explain his feelings around Princess. Keep up the good work Calli, you're doing great!
Literally brought me to tears. A super relatable masterpiece that hits hard, and it's the music that has that effect on you is what you can call true art. Absolutely love this song, amazing job Calli!
lyrics with Romaji because I'm bad at Japanese . The days are blending together Pretending like I don't notice Drowning in mental fog so thick My hands might close where my throat is Not gonna rap that "I'm cursed" My words got heavy And sure enough the steady ebb-and-flow of life subsided But I wasn't ready Last night I thought up a song But I'm too wired to hum it Inspired sight, like tunnel-vision on the life I got from it Not tired yet, right? Hah "It's fun, " I'll tell ya that much Adventures oughta be remembered as such But I'm not well Not today, not tomorrow These souls inside my pocket are just sanity I borrow "Sayonara" to the sorrow of eternity alone? Ya right Part of the joke is that it's all that I've known It's justified, can't help that I romanticize your concern Now I can fantasize forever if you never say the words "Goodbye" This tainted mind-set really must go free Finding someone so fuckin' wonderful when I'm just so... "Me" Searching by city light You'll never find me Running through a cursed night "Do you have a death wish?" Shut the lid tight, it's complicated Could ya not look inside, it's complicated Somehow I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown To shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows" Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?) Kono zetsubō no utsukushi-sa = (この絶望の美しさ ) Laid back in the cracks of my past, it's kinda funny Got sick of the tricking myself into thinking that others would Only run from me because, as you know, I'm Death You heard about me? I'm kinda famous, now it's awkward But welcome to my constant state of mind Like, could you knock first? Hanasanai kotoba = (話さない言葉 _ Min'na no shinpai-goto wa = (みんなの心配ごとは ) Mimi ni tsunagaranai = (耳につながらない) Why's it every time that your kindness Is making my chest unbearably tight? But, not for the first time A terrible night for a curse But don't you worry, 'cause it hurts fine Drunk, lost, CalliP Wandering Rengoku-shi Enlighten me, is this what they call a "sunk cost fallacy?" Frightening, in spite of things I want tossed my way I'm looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days "By myself" is just better I know I say that a lot But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god Lost in the night, Nasakenai = (情けない) Hostile, hostage or free These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see Searching by city light You'll never find me We're running through a cursed night "Do you have a death wish?" Shut the lid tight, it's complicated Could ya not look inside, it's complicated Somehow I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown To shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows" Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?) Kono zetsubō no utsukushi-sa = (この絶望の美しさ ) Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?) Kono zetsubō... = (この絶望... ) Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?) Wanna see it? Fine, this time, look for yourself
I really really hope that even as more generations of HololiveEN debut, and even if Calli gets retired, she continues to make music, because she clearly has a passion, and also the talent, for it.
Remember you're not supposed to be killing yourself for our sake, it goes the other way around! I do hope you never shy away from making music that comes from the heart though. Big Ups to our favourite reaper for all the effort they've put into this so far
( disclaimer this is just me trying to say thank you while I'm in pain. at the end I feel better! take it for whats its worth, ha I hate whining so bare with me ) fuck me. (i don't normally curse but it felt right.) I'm glad you are ok! This hit really close like Linkin Park and other art does for me. I'm writing this in just another cursed night. I hope I can cope later and goes away but it won't. I just got to find the positives in these moments ha, just only time will tell. Thank you Mori, you're my favorite V tuber. I feel we are very similar in many ways but idk we obviously don't know each other but watching your video's I feel like we do. Thank you for making the song i know you didn't make it specifically for me or others, but still thank you for sharing and I'm glad it helped you too! I agree people thinking humans only have one feeling is insanity. Everyone goes through happiness, sadness, relief, pain and all the different shades of grey. Music does the same thing to meas it does for you. I sing and it really helps, same with my drawing and watching people like you and of course anime so that's cool I guess haha. I'm going to listen to this on repeat every time I'm in a cursed night haha... like tonight! lol I'll make it, just give me some time. I did feel I wanted to be honest on the impact you make on me and others, being real, down to earth and showing you going through life like the rest of us and actually showing your pain really helps and is soothing and makes me care about you even more! I don't put idols on pedestals but I can respect and take things from you guys that put yourselves out on here. You guys have the same importance as the rest of us but that doesn't mean to us that you're any less special and that goes for everyone else as well! The people we except into our lives obviously we care about more but in the grand scheme of things we are all the same, not better or worse than anyone else but we are all going through this life together, and seeing people like you Mori and the other V tubers not let popularity get to your head, staying true to yourselves and express yourself as well as put in the work you guys do especially you Mori. Being real and humble, really is nice to see and helps me and others be able to connect more and I know I'm not going to put you on a pedestal but you really are amazing and caring person and real. I'm grateful to have found you and except you in my life even though you don't know me lol, but just being real with your feelings and view points and being kind to everyone I absolutely love. I do the same and it's good to do! it really helps. I know help really comes from within and my psychologist really helps me with that and another very important thing I like about you is you are being brave enough to just be honest about your feelings and internal struggles and face them head on.. that's what I'm doing and it's hard but it really helps and is an important thing to do and having the guts and ability to accept the hardships and everything about you and face them head on, being able to accept change and do things to help yourself is an important thing to have so good on you and keep it up! and it helps to see another person go through similar things and take them, accept them, and face them makes me feel a lot better. I feel better after writing this and I know its not about me idk it just felt good to.. express myself here. and you help me believe it or not. You help spark the passion and motivation to be a better me and to help cope with my hardships that will never leave mentally, emotionally and physically so thank you for being you. And I hope you can find things to help you I'm still looking for the best things that can but you're a very important person that's up their that is best to help me haha I hope one day I could sit down and have a heart to heart conversation on a call with you I'm not about fame or attention so don't worry about any crazy "fan" I'd talk to you like a normal person, I'd respect your space, and wishes and thank you for everything you've done for me and others and I'd hate to bother you with anything though haha. I'd treasure a great moment with you hoping I could've helped you with anything and taking things you say and apply them to myself it'd be cool and nice to meet you and have a amazing talk with you! is all I'm trying to say haha. Were both normal people just trying to get through life and I think you are a cool person I'd want to be friends with:) I think that's the reason I'm trying to get across. as well as thank you. I love you Calli, thanks again.
When I found this song, it represented my mental state to a T. It felt like this song was venting all the things I wished I could. Today, I found it again and realized just how much better my mental state is. I didn't even realize back then just how bad I really was. Thanks for the great music helping me through a tough time, Calli!
![[MV] end of a life - Calliope Mori (Original Song)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BXB26PzV31k/mqdefault.jpg)
![[MV] end of a life - Calliope Mori (Original Song)](/img/tr.png)
![[Original Song] Live Again - Calliope Mori #holoMyth #hololiveEnglish](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/h-LOlueKCtk/mqdefault.jpg)
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
disclaimer: Your Boy is All Good. As I mentioned, this song exists and thusly I feel great after venting out my personal feelings into music. In fact, as I type this now, I am the happiest I've been in a very, very long time. Content with my music, content with my existence, grateful for my fans and ready to continue producing music. With that being said, I know some will still worry about me. But, I can't sing happy songs every day, as no being, human or no, can do! Let's enjoy a world full of many different emotions. I love you guys!
Hell yeah
Keep it up the great work!!!
we
we love you too calli!
I got here an hour early because of DST and it trolled the hell out of me. GG
I’m studying English to understand her songs.
Good luck
It's worth it, but this song needs some first-hand experience of despair and loneliness to appreciate. Which is to say, to have lived a life as a human.
I'm happy for you! Keep at it!
Keep at it friend! It might be a bit difficult, but with enough perseverance you can get there. I speak from experience, as English is my second language (my mother language being Portuguese).
As another non-native, I believe in you! Achieve your dreams
another to add on the “when the homies are gone” playlist
nah fam play this with the homies around 👊😎
@@dharmairmansyah2844 thats true homie man
Stop breaking my heart even more...
Everyone out here flexing that they have homies.
@@fluffypoisons But, the homies ain’t out flexing they have me
Anime opening: Hinotori
Anime Ending:
comment credit to the discord server!
This has to happen..
This definitely give endjng vibes.
i think this is S1 ending
the 2nd ending is "live again"
@justin paul reoner facts
What a horrible night for rain...
I absolutely love the song though.
It's signal no. 4 here, outside and in my heart
@@true_neutral3378 same here, it appears to be raining a bit inside as well tho :')
It's not raining tho
But it's n- oh...
@@kuoiha7512 u didn't get it
I'm glad she's letting us enjoy most of Halloween day before slaying us.
It's the same thing priests do in your last day of death row.
It's actually pretty comforting tbh, like a 5-star hotel to hell
Yes indeed
@@AethernaLuxen True
690th like nice
RIP
Kiara: announces a sleepover with Marine
Calli: "This despair..."
Yo if I may ask , is Calli a dude ?
@@vineetr9401 pretty sure she's not lmao she just likes to refer to herself as "your boy"
No haha, all of hololive vtubers are all girls, including Mori Calliope. I don't think they're going to ruin the reputation of their idol group by hiring a fake girl vtuber.
If you want boys, check out holostars. Althought there's only a JP branch
For a sec I thought it was sploon but yeah idk I'm a dude and like to refer to myself as a gamer girl because it's fun
Man, Calli is just such a talented lyricist, she never ceases to impress
I mean she is demondice after all
@@soulss21 this is forbidden knowledge, you should know better than to spread it. for shame
@@soulss21 lets remove this comment shall we
@@soulss21 agree with the others you should edit and just say something about how she's always be. we should encourage people to look into demon. but we don't know contracts and stuff so we shouldn't say there same.
@@fistpump64 you are aware that demondice is a rapper who is basically Cali and has been making music before she became calliope mori
Calliope is such a talented lyricist.
no one asked, we know
For real though every song she's made has amazing lyrics and word play.
that and an amazing rapper and singer
Rodrigo Sanchez Rude.
@@rarepkm You do understand that they are complementing her music right?
Honestly, knowing that there's an actual person behind the character makes this hit harder but I'm glad Calli's doing alright, we love you Calli
I hate that i can only support from the side lines, im not old enough to give money
@@GabrielA-jy9jk i hate it too but he's right, at least we are here for her
I think the fact that there are real people who are behind the characters sometimes messes with me because all of them are so good it really blurs the line of where the characters stops and where the person begins
@@SirFooplesTheThird honestly, I think that is one of the things that makes VTubers special.
More than just a TH-camr with an animated avatar and far more than a simple fictional character.
@@GabrielA-jy9jk I feel ya, except for me I gotta use my money for living. If I can watch her stuff and leave a like and participate when I can I know they appreciate it all
"Let's enjoy a world full of many different emotions." This hits close to home. Thanks for being you, Calli.
I see your a man of culture soli its ultraquackx btw haha
@@soraman94 LMAO, hi there, I wasn't expecting someone I know to be in that comment section haha.
@@solismo7043 yeahh was also very surprised lmao
I really respect both her and her manager, many "idol managers" wouldn't want their idol swearing or talking about such deep feelings. you really gotta respect the artistic freedom she is given.
Hololivers have gotten away with whole lot more than that, so Im not surprised.
@@Rar830 they basically dont care by now since it doesnt matter and also its giving them more money
Freedom is never given; it is only ever exercised or violated.
Bro, have you even watched Marine?
@@Fireholder1 not really true. The existence of a state secures for it's citizens the freedom to not have their freedom of life violated, which by default wouldn't exist, since there would be no law enforcement or law for that matter, without some kind of a state
What a shame to see the comments filled with people who commented before the song even aired. I'd rather see people talking about the lyrics and the flow.
Fast paced lyrics, with a somber note. A little bit of clawing at the listener, but also a hint of opening up by the end. I guess you could say this is the other side of "Live Again". Live Again was a melancholic song with a hopeful outlook, while Cursed Night seems to be a depressed song with a glimmer of salvation.
Calliope really pours her emotions into these songs and you can tell. This may not be fire and it may not be rain, but it's definitely a pleasurable pain.
Pleasureable pain... I like how that sounds
@@rylamistrandall6517 uwu
The first connection I had when listening to this song was "Nälkämaan laulu", although the ending differs as that one shows its pride for thriving under multiple threats and difficulties. With the couple times I have listened this song I can't say if there is similar prideful undertone.
Sadly my musical knowledge doesn't carry any further than this, maybe someone will take the time needed to analyse this song further, thus giving the opportunity for that kind of discussion to progress further.
Was looking for a comment like this
Glad I'm not the only one feeling like this
the other comments ive seen are about the cursed CallioPog
The lyrics really do be hitting different...
IKR
Too deep and it feels like the lyrics are about her past self
They do impact uniquely
it's a bad day for rain...
I was just about to say too :)
Finding someone so fckin wonderful when I'm just so..."me."
This part, kinda hurt me, in so many ways......
i was going to comment the exact same thing..
Yeah.. 37 years old later this month and I've yet to find anyone who actually found me wonderful.
But maybe some day.
My soul..
OOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
@@yaypeacepeace9892 This is how she takes her victims soul. Not through violent demise, but through emotional reaping
What everyone expect:
Hardcore rapp high bass
What we get:
Feeling
*Diamond
Ngl but this is true
I was like number 1000
I am not complaining though
As an in-game message once said, "Tonight is going to be a terrible night."
Got the reference
Nice reference
@@restimo12 Terraria
what a horrible night to have a curse
@@restimo12 i think is terraria
“It’s justified-can’t help that I romanticize your concern” holy fuck, this hits so incredibly hard. I’m so happy for you though mori, you are producing music and you have a great fanbase and everything is going well for you, i’m happy that things are going well for you. Hopefully I can join and reach the place I want to be as well, but i’m glad things are going better for you :)
I didn't notice that line the first time through, but god damn that's good
Tbh this song feels less of a song but more of let it out of your chest kinda thing.
There are actually two references here. One of them were the words, "ebb-and-flow", which if you didn't know, is actually the name for OP 2 of Nagi no Asukara. Another one is a Castlevania one, but I only saw someone say that during the premiere so I'm not entirely sure if that's true...
I know you'll reach your dreams in life, Just like Calli. I believe in you!! :)
@@k.4296 "A terrible night for a curse"
"A terrible night for a curse."
Is it just me or is that a Castlevania reference?
Awfully similar to "What a horrible night to have a curse."
If so, Calli's got taste!
She did say she liked Castlevania
She loves castlevania and btw, this is relevant to your profile pic but I think she likes Persona 3 as well because she said she wanted to do a cover of Mass Destruction!
@@icalivy My profile picture gets too much attention, jesus
@@jay9344 lmao
Simon would be proud for sure
Calli has made:
-A sad song that gets on your feels (Cursed Night)
-A fun song (Reaper Ka Rapper)
-A fast flow song with a meme (Dead-beats)
-An absolute banger (Excuse me but could you please RIP)
-A nostalgia-inducing song (Live Again)
I can't wait for more, the versatility and talent of this reaper 😍
I saw you like everywhere especially Hololive and among us
@@Wannabe-channeL lol ikr
You are everywhere
Love her
have you heard her old stuff? wink on that haha
I'm not enough study English to talk about my thoughts for this song.
Please forgive me for a simple and childish impression.
I love her and her songs.
Your english is good.
A bit formal but fine english.
I do not know japanese yet, but I love her songs too. Her songs bring us together!
Dude that’s not childish at all. Simple and direct. Love it, and 100% agree.
what do u mean, ur english is good enough
Everybody always says they're afraid of death, but nobody ask how is death.
Death is jealous rn
NNN clarity be like
Death is the climax of life. To have the best death, you must honor life.
- Rory Mercury
what is death
but never
how is death
No one asks what is after death lol
Explaining a couple lyrics that might have been overlooked-
1) 1:46 "Wandering Rengoku-shi" was not translated; it is the Japanese name for purgatory, a "place" that many religions believe exists for lost souls between life and death.
2) 1:47 "Sunk-Cost Fallacy" is an economics term, and is most simply described as the opposite of "cutting your losses". It's like saying "I've already come this far, I can't stop now" in hopes that prior costs are justification for future spending. Sunk costs are not always monetary; they can be time expenses, effort expenses, or practically anything that can be viewed as an unrecoverable investment. The lyrics mention her expenses were primarily social (lost) and health (drunk), and suggests her view is that she has fed so much into these "curses" that she might as well keep feeding them.
Thanks! I was wondering about these!
thank you
the glass holding anime dude pfp just makes it better ;)
So she thinks of herself as a wandering puddle of lost emotions?
Damn.
This adds so many layers to an already impressive song
"A terrible night for a curse[...]"
Is that a-
ゴゴゴゴ Castlevania Reference ゴゴゴゴ
A terrible night to have a curse indeed
Time to kick Dracula's ass while our body is dying from curse, I guess.
WHERES MY CROSS BOOMERANG AND LEATHER WHIP AND THE SHORT MORNING STAR CHAIN WITH CUBE WHIP I MADE IN REAL LIFE
@@elflordyt6830 would you like to borrow mine?
Bruh
Just bruh
"This song was indeed Cursed from the beginning, as both K's and I experienced some heavy technical troubles"
*Indeed cursed*
She was visited by GRAMPS Hassan
Cursed without a doubt-
It's not from HoloEN if something doesn't go wrong, and we love em for it
@@illustris. Yeah hehe
"Why's it every time that your kindness is making my chest unbearably tight but not for the first time, a terrible night for a curse but don't you worry cuz it hurts fine."
As a person that was bullied for quite a long while in my younger days, it can be hard to accept feelings that you were not used to receiving... because your poor self-esteem and anxiety kicks in and "run thru the city lights"
Im still working on the anxiety part but im now glad im surrounded by more people that will make my "chest tight and hurts fine"
Thank you Cantalou---Calli for another wonderful song and yes, the world of emotions sure is something amiright ahaha ❤
(Btw i just woke up so i might delete if i felt like it---)
the world of emotions sure is something, lovely internet person. sending you a hug from a fella who knows how it feels, for you and whoever feels like a group hug
The world of emotions truly are something, glad you got people that make your "chest tight and hurts fine." Always nice to have people who can do that for you :D
(Also don't delete pls I actually quite enjoy comments like these)
I hope you're doing fine. Living with anxiety is not that easy. But we all will go through this cursed night and its going to be okay.
I just realized a double meaning in the line: "If some [body] holds you back then you cannot become God."
1:58 Somebody vs. Some Body, somebody = someone else, some body = the concept of a body, one's own
The song's question is "do you want to see the beauty of this despair?" Everyone is focused on "some body," when really what they are feeling is something beyond body. The ending line instructs the listener "This time, look for your(self)," implying both look inward and see it with your own eyes.
Calli / Kali, (Sanskrit: “She Who Is Death”), who's virtual body has been almost glitching out of existence, disappears after this line, leaving the field of souls (orbs of light in the video) to realize that they are not alone. The "beauty in despair" is seen when the "self," not constrained to a body, sees that it contains all.
The virtual construct Calli "reaps" (collects) the suffering (souls) of listeners and transforms it into a mirror through which a multitude of souls realize they are indeed, one.
Well said
Her name is also probably a reference to Calliope the muse of poetry from the Greek myths
English teachers be like
@Raul I agree
dude im learning Sanskrit how did i not see the connection between calli and Kali the Hindu goddess of death
Kiara: Sleep over with Marine
Calli: Uploads "Cursed night"
Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
Marine didnt get a chance to sleep with kiara bcs marine got sick
Now that's probably not a coincidence
Bruh
@@seiyu543 Calli called up her friend pestilence
@@kronii-chan8413 That's dark lmao
Idk i was a bit concerned but she put a pinned comment so we all good
Lyrics:
The days are blending together
Pretending like I don't notice
Drowning in mental fog so thick
my hands might close where my throat is.
Not gonna rap that "I'm cursed"
My words got heavy
And sure enough the steady ebb-and-flow of life subsided,
but I wasn't ready
Last night, I thought up a song
But I'm too wired to hum it
Inspired sight, like tunnel-vision on the life I got from it
Not tired yet, right?
Hah.
"It's fun," I'll tell ya that much.
Adventures oughta be remembered as such.
But, I'm not well.
Not today, not tomorrow
These souls inside my pocket are just sanity I borrow
"Sayonara" to the sorrow of eternity alone?
Ya, right.
Part of the joke is that it's all that I've known
It's justified - can't help that I romanticize your concern
Now I can fantasize forever if you never say the words "Goodbye"
This tainted mind-set really must go free
Finding someone so fXckin' wonderful when I'm just so...
..."me."
Searching by city light,
You'll never find me.
Running through a cursed night
"Do you have a death wish?"
Shut the lid tight, it's complicated
Could ya not look inside, it's complicated.
Somehow, I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown
to shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows"
自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?)
この絶望の美しさ (kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa)
Laid back in the cracks of my past, it's kinda funny
Got sick of the tricking myself into thinking that others would
only run from me because, as you know, I'm Death-
You heard about me?
I'm kinda famous, now it's awkward...
But welcome to my constant state of mind
Like, could you knock first?
話せない言葉 (hanasenai kotoba)
みんなの心配ごとは (minna no shinpai goto wa)
耳につながらない (mimi ni tsunagaranai)
Why's it every time that your kindness
is making my chest unbearably tight?
But, not for the first time
A terrible night for a curse,
but don't you worry, cuz it hurts fine.
Drunk, lost, CalliP
Wandering Rengoku-shi
Enlighten me - is this what they call a "sunk cost fallacy?"
Frightening, in spite of things I want tossed my way
I'm looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days.
"By myself" is just better.
I know I say that a lot.
But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god.
Lost in the night, 情けない (nasakenai)
Hostile, hostage or free
These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see.
Searching by city light,
You'll never find me.
Running through a cursed night
"Do you have a death wish?"
Shut the lid tight, it's complicated
Could ya not look inside, it's complicated.
Somehow, I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown
to shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows"
自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?)
この絶望の美しさ (kono zetsubou no utsukushi sa)
自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?)
この絶望。。。 (kono zetsubou)
自分の目で見えたいの？ (jibun no me de mietaino?)
wanna see it?
fine,
this time, look for yourself.
Reading it out like this hits differently
This hits hard....
Hard...
Found the MVP, bonus points for romaji!
This song honestly feels like a forward moving loneliness. She sings about how she can’t become “god” with anyone holding her back so she has to go alone. Sometimes to become the best version of yourself you need to be alone and even though loneliness is painful the progress you can make alone is worth it. There’s a beauty in the hard things in life and even if you can’t see it as long as you keep moving forward that’s what matters most.
The fact I stayed up hella late to listen to this as it premiered is probably weakening my ability to control my emotions, but...
As I lay here in bed, reading comments while listening to this song - going back, listening again and again, giving every line time to marinate... I’m quietly sobbing. I feel the sadness, the frustration, the despair - and at the same time, I feel relief.
Calli, you’ve been through a fuckload of pressure these last couple months, from both the inside and the outside. Positive and negative. I’m in awe at your ability to put these feelings of yours not only to words, but to song in such a beautiful way. It’s inspiring! But also a great relief - sad as the song is, it’s proof you’re not just gonna bottle up all that pressure forever. Letting it out is so good! I’m glad for you.
I’m still in what feels like an infinite pressure state in my own life, and I’ve yet to figure out how to get my mind reconfigured to relieve that pressure in a productive way. But goddamn, I’m glad you shared this song, Calli. You’re out here proving it can be done!
Big ups. :}
Hey dude, know that we're all here cheering you on too. Calli may be who brought us together, but we're Dead Beats now. We always stick together. c:
This is a great comment
Dude, I’m in the same kinda place. Feels like there’s no way out, no good, satisfying way to vent all that’s about to overwhelm me. Hang in there, fellow Deadbeat. We can make it out of the cursed night.
I love how raw the lyrics are. Felt myself nodding with the verses, not just to the beat. You're a lyrical GENIUS Mori and we're glad you exist.
As an instrumentalist I never pay attention to lyrics but these are moving; honestly can't believe how good her lyrics are...
Woahaaaa....Fancy meeting you here Yume......I honestly didn't expect seeing you here, have a nice day.
@ Mori Calliope Ch. hololive-EN I agree with Yume.
I really love Calli now. She is just SUCH a queen. She isn't scared of showing her feelings. Lots of people see vtubers as just someone playing a character. Maybe at the beginning, but I think later on they all show their true feelings.
Tears are welling up in my eyes lol. This song really came at a good time. I was feeling really down these days and then I suddenly saw that Calli granted us this beautiful song. From the way she sings you can hear that every sentence is filled with emotions.
Thank you for existing Calli.
I was with you since the beginning and I promise you that I will be supporting you forever! :)
@KingVirzion nah, I've already become a shrimp
I wonder if you sewn this? -> 🎲
Willing to bet $100 that OP is a member of ANTIFA.
@@reoffending Lmao what? Genuinely curious how you came to that conclusion. Regardless, who cares?
@@cretannia9790 I was kinda just pulling that one out of my ass as a shitty one-liner since the dude wrote an entire paragraph on why he's in love with some anime girl.
> Regardless, who cares?
All the small business owners who've had their livelihoods destroyed by "mostly peaceful protesters"
Omg i feel that should be one more masterpiece
-------------
Yes I can feel it. Not just a great track, but a hit that hits right in kokoro. Thank you Calli for such emotions. We love you!!!
Always been
@@adekurnia1444 *pulls trigger*
Pull out a phone with rickroll to counter attack
Made by mori... Only can be a master pice
@@themasterwolfom4109 I'm agree with you
"Finding someone so fackin' wonderful when I'm just so... me."
That hits too close to home. ;-;
I love this song
bruh moment
Well now I'm just sad.
The hell does that line even mean
@@dreamlikefragments8033 when you find someone that you like but you think you don't deserve to be with them, thats what I interpreted it as
Pain
"A Terrible Night For A Curse"
seeing this song name, I was waiting for the Castlevania reference and I wasn't disappointed :)
that aside, super amazing song Calli!!!!
Glad I wasn’t the only one who caught it
Aight, I only played the first one and the PSP one, what's the reference?
@@true_neutral3378 in one of the games if you don’t get inside before nightfall that line appears and you have to fight a bunch of enemies
@@true_neutral3378 Castlevania 2, which had a day and night cycle. When night hits, that line pops up and the world becomes much more dangerous until the sun comes back.
Dude, we need a new Castlevania :(
"I'm looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days."
That hit really close to home.
I think it hit pretty much everywhere, friend.
One more replay wont hurt right?
Right?
It kinda does tho
I keep replaying it. Every one of her songs I replay over and over I think I’m addicted
I'm on my 6th one 😢 I love this type of music though
Hello, I’m a time traveler!
I actually stole Watson’s time machine and initiated a war because of it! You will probably hear of me in some years!
Anyways, I’m just here to say that, yes, this replay will make you listen to this song as much as I used to before the war! About half of your day, every day, will have this song as soundtrack!
Think this song’ll always hurt lol
Calli: "A Terrible Night for a Curse"
Simon Belmont: Close, But I approve it.
I can’t believe your boy released a song with that line in it while I was playing Simon’s Quest at that moment XD
@@WalkerSunriseChannel thats some synchronicity alright
@@Schnyr It is, I was amused. Had to pause the song to wheeze XD
@@WalkerSunriseChannel I was rewatching the first avgn episode on cv2 just before this dropped
@@27ricky04 Nice!
This will probably be trending on the music category of youtube
Cause it's gonna be FIRE 🔥🔥🔥
you mean gaming category because its youtube
Nah.
We don’t yet until we hear it tho
I wouldn't be surprised
It will be if I can help it
Listening to that song, I realize that neither Calli nor probably anyone listening to this song would ever acknowledge my existence at all. Which is a weird feeling. That said, I'm also comfortable writing this here to just get it off my chest because of that, and tomorrow the thought will probably be gone, so I'll be fine. Still it's weird, but well.
In any case, I'm still really happy that she has already come this far, she definitely deserves it and so much more still. Keep giving it your all, Calli.
Yeah sometimes we need some form of writing to throw all heavy feeling we had in our chest
Leaving this comment to acknowledge your existence ✨
I see you and your existence.
Hello person I didn't know existed.
I see you.
"These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see."
Growing out of that is probably the hardest part of anything that has to do with life. This hit really hard for me... but at the same time, it feels like you're pushing all of us forward with it anyway, including yourself.
We're here for you, Calli.
What does it mean in your view?
@@classypotato9255 I've mostly left those days behind, but I still remember how, for most of my teenage years and even a bit into my first stint in college, I had a stubborn confirmation bias, one that not only locked me into seeing things only from one side, but also really messed me up mentally -- because I never saw myself as anything more than a dead weight to my family. I never stopped to think, 'but what if I'm just outright wrong?' while I still had those biases at all, and I only really got rid of the worst of it recently. Those thoughts still creep back in every now and then.
But I'm coping. At least I can say I'm living with those malformed ideas and setting them aside to get things done.
@@Thentavius that's kinda how I interpreted it too, confirmation bias. Reading your experience, I actually had something quite similar, sometimes not seeing my flaws, sometimes not seeing my strengths.
Recently found out I most likely have ADHD and it explains so, so much about my life that I'm wondering how I never realized, and how all the theories I invented about myself and how I function are now mostly obsolete in face of that realization. It's weird, I'm still disoriented but I guess I understand myself better and better overtime now.
Damn
So are we just gonna ignore the fact that background is so beautiful
This is not a funny comment
no, no it is not
for Calli its beautiful.. since thats where crewmate gets killed.
m
I'm waiting for this on wallpaper engine
"Sayonara to the sorrow of eternity alone"
"Excuse me, sorry, taihen, time to say goodbye again..."
"Don't mean nada to the queen of sayonara"
"Promise it's a matter of time before we're best friends"
"We'll be best friends, that's the end of it"
There are some Themes in CallioP's music and I'm here for it.
It’s wonderful to watch. Hope her time with Hololive (and the Deadbeats) helps her work through some of whatever she’s got in her life in the long term. Sounds like it’s needed.
"It's justified- can't help that I romanticize your concern"
God that lyric hits hard. Too many times I've felt myself overwhelmed, and just silently hoping someone will notice, so I don't have to reach out myself and feel selfish or annoying.
"'do you have a death wish'"
"shut up it's complicated"
goddamn that really hits hard. reminds me of times when i just have to get out of the house and take a walk in the middle of the night, even if that's legitimately something that could get you killed here. it's a hell of a mood.
Honestly i want to do it so bad.. Just walk alone and look at the stars. But I'm to afraid of getting harassed/kidnapped/killed etc..
@@foreigngrounds9776 that's why you have to have a bit of a death wish to do it. I used to walk along the side of the highway half hoping I'd get hit by a car going 60 and never even notice. It's just... complicated.
@@kishinslayer2228 ............................Thats really heavy.
I used to think about suicide alot, one time I spent an hour wandering on a bridge wanting ot jump off it. But whenever a car would go by, which was constantly btw.
I'd think: "I dont want someone to see me do this". For whatever reason, shrug.
@@kishinslayer2228 Are you okay?
@@Rar830 Are YOU okay?
I can really relate to this and sympathize. Depression or Mania, neither can decide which one wants to show. Then you feel as if your actions mean nothing to others and when you receive praise or a compliment it's hard to know how to respond because you don't know if you deserve it. A tinge of imposter syndrome in there, "Is this even my success or am I fake? Did I steal it?" The anxiety is real.
Sasuga Calliope Ojou-sama. I feel you deserve this title and the accolades others give. Thanks for sharing your feelings and know that we are behind you every step of the way. Some of us dodging scythe swings, but that's another story.
"is making my chest unbearably tight"
No Calli. That's just your shirt
We were all thinking it.
God dammit
lol
@@loucypher1060 *And looking at it*
not all of us
Yeah get a new shirt if its too small
Never listened to any of Calli's songs.
Hell, this is the first time I've paid any attention to hololive.
I don't even really relate to this song, and rap isn't typically my cup of tea.
But... I'm fucking addicted to this, and have been for a couple weeks now. _Why?_ Fuck if I know, but I can't get it out of my head at all. Funnily, I've started learning Japanese right when I stumbled upon this, and I'm having fun memorizing the Japanese lyrics here.
Calli here just has such a wonderful voice, rythm, and she's clearly a talented lyricist. Combine this with the relaxed rythm and you have something that I inexplicably love.
fall down the rabbit hole with us all... fr tho you spittin facts
@@fabulous7ssbu Oh trust me, in the two months since posting this comment I've definitely explored more of Calli's channel and life. What a stunning lyricist.
This song's lyrics are sad at times, but the song itself was kind of relaxing to listen to especially cause of the chill mood it had imo. It's Like the feeling you get when you just sit down and talk about life with someone, it can be sad but comforting at the same time. I like it a lot, it made me feel things.
bittersweet
Real talk
It's the feeling of having a heart-to-heart talk with someone about them recognizing and dealing with their problem. You feel sad, but equally as happy because you know that the person is trying or doing their best to overcome the problem.
“How many sad quotes can u fit in one song?”
Mori: *Yes*
Mori: Only as many as I can until I eventually die, which is never
I think she was going for a similar vibe to Mansion
@@thedude6058 Mansion?
@@hypatia6833 by NF
@@thedude6058 Yeah I knew you were talking about NF, just wanted confirmation. Anyways, try listening to KAAN. He has some dope songs with similar subject matter like NF. You could give White Lines a listen.
"Why's it that your kindness is making my chest unbearably tight?"
Damn.
It's the superchats, isn't it.
@@emmanonn Calli was bullied so wholesomely she turned it into lyrics
Canada, man. They take "kill them with kindness" seriously.
@@goldenyagoo4368 people literally caused emotional issues with superchats so she had to vent about it
@@Arantiuss it's not that the people caused emotional issues. It's pretty obvious the feelings of not deserving good things was always there, Calli was just forced to face it rather suddenly, and while on stream, too haha
Mori saw you today on Trash taste. Just wanted to tell you that even if your hololive life ends, never stop doing music. Your music is amazing.
"I think amidst the happiness, there comes a time for venting the feelings that spill out on your Cursed Nights."
Oh Boy this is gonna be a Wild Ride that i can't wait for
Wild and exciting, of course.
Imagine the vibes that exists in the music cave that this girl locks herself in to.
computer problem vibes
@@thedude6058 i’m dead; really though must be frustrating having your pc die on you and the save file of a week worth of work corrupts
Kazoos.
Cant begin to describe how much I feel this song.
Lately all my nights have been crsed and almost every sad song Ive heard was about anything but oh, he left what a jerk. This is so new combining new vibes to old vibes adding bilingual rap. I'm so fan of this. Deadbeat forever.
Thats how I feel also but I know we'll get through it stay strong ❤️
Hey if your thoughts are coming out at night it's the perfect time to have a chat with them, is it not? It's frightening, it hurts and they have many mean things to say, but they come from a place of hurt that, if not outright cured, can be alleviated if you understand it. It can be the first step to accepting yourself as you are, because you might as well I mean you're the only person your life is guaranteed to be spent with so you might as well get along. It's not a panacea and you won't reach any form of enlightenment that will finally make you the person you want to be but the clarity that comes with accepting oneself as you are gives you a way to finally understand how you need to work on yourself to become better. And that is something PRICELESS.
Ngl I’m so grateful that vtubers exists, I thought I was gonna celebrate Halloween alone, but then watching vtubers streaming and celebrating Halloween with viewers got me happy af.
Thats great, peronally I dont have any problems being alone even for extended periods of time, but Im still really glad that Hololive exists. BTW are you hyped for HololiveID Gen 2?
The first debut is tomorrow, I cant wait.
@@Rar830 I only stick to my Mori. Perhaps I'll get Watson soon, but I have to be interested. I predict Watson will get one million around February 12th. At the earliest, the 9th, and at the latest... well people could just stop subbing, but around the 14th is where the math tells me.
For the last three days (possibly more, but I've only been checking for the past three), Watson has gained 2k subs a day. She is currently at 986k, needs 14k more. At two thousand a day, a week at the very most.
(I've seen a couple channels just jump in numbers as they creep closer to the big number. Then, they kind of stop for a while. I have a sub and they only needed about 7k before one million. I.saw that in early December and they got the mill before Christmas. As it stands, the channel still says one mill, not even 1.01 mill.)
@@andyjo7838 That's cool, I like to keep track the EN girls progress too, but I only every 2 weeks or so. Cuz I like seeing how much they've grown, but only when it's substantial hence why I don't check a lot. My faves pretty obvious, I don't watch any of Mori's streams
(except her first kareoke),
but I am a big fan of her music. Which of strange because I'm only into anime songs/Game soundtracks and also hate rap. The latter sentiment I've seen expressed a surprising amount, so I guess that's not unusual. Her music has a lot of personality and a unique style to it, if that makes sense.
In retrospect I also don't like a lot of Gura's covers, but I'm I just like hearing her singing voice, so that's not surprising.
So after seeing my best friend "Live Again", followed my own "Cursed Night".
Feels like I got rejected before I even confessed to him. We're drifting apart, and it seems he found himself a new best friend as well. Halloween was indeed a terrible night for a curse - not to mention it was my birthday.
Right now I guess being "by myself" is just better. No one's gonna hold me back from loving myself this time.
Hope the rest of the year is good to you. I'll just be in the backseat enjoying the rest of my time here among Holobros. :}
Hey.. You're on a right path, start by loving yourself and then.. the right person will love you
He didn’t deserve you, keep yourself strong and never give up your goals.
Bunny's right. Even if it's hard to love yourself, at least be comfortable with yourself. You're going to be living your whole life with -you-, after all. And above all, that helps you deal with rejection or even people moving away from you. Still, I know rejection can be rough. Take care of yourself.
We’ll all enjoy our time here. But yeah keep loving yourself 💯
Happy birthday?
As someone who don't really listen to rap, I still have a small list of rap songs I absolutely love, half of it is your songs, and the other half is the Luv Sic album.
Your lyricism and how you don't abuse explicit words have always reminded me of Shing02 and I guess that is why I enjoy your songs so much, but now this song brought both the chill yet cozy feeling of Nujabes and the lyricism of Shing02 and I can't even think of a good enough praise for it.
If you can read this Mori, thanks for making songs straight from your heart, and take care of yourself, don't rush it, anything that is great needs time to make, and no one, human or no, can keep moving forward without some time to chill down.
Also, if you happen to come across Nujabes, please tell him his music is still spreading love and good vibes everyday.
i get the same feelings from those artists too,
Couldn't have said it better myself
I kinda listen to some rap songs and my current mood is Shing02/Nujabes too
Nujabes has gotten me through hard times indeed,his music is truly beautiful and unique and may he find happiness in the music hes made in his current life. Im also not much of a fan of rap but callis more laid back songs really hit me hard,this one especially! The best music is always ones made through expression of emotions no matter how dark or light and calli through her recent dark state of emotions has beautifully poured those emotions into this song. I eagerly look forward to more of these kinds of songs regardless of how they sound
This song hits me personally, for about 5-6 months at the beginning of this year I shut myself away from my friends because I thought maybe I didn’t belong (I had just broke up with my first girlfriend in November) but while I was isolating myself from my friends none of my friends ever tried talking to me which sent me into a further state of despair, thinking “They must hate me and think I don’t belong in their group.” You may be expecting a happy ending but I had to go back to them myself and to this day I still feel unsure of myself and if I really matter to the people I care about.
Look, this is something you can decide by yourself, if none of them contacted you in those 6 months, the truth is they probably didn't notice you weren't there(this mainly depends on if your friend group is comprised of like 3-7 people or 20-50), which, in turn, means they don't really care. I wouldn't really say to just leave, but you could ask anyone that you feel particularly attached to about it, but after that it's for you to decide. And if you want my opinion on it, I would leave and worry more about myself than how they feel about it, especially after them ignoring me for 6 months.
I disagree with the other reply, I don't think your friends don't care. Sometimes depression makes us shut ourselves out in a way that makes it hard for others to reach out to us. You have to reach to them or they might think that you are the one that doesn't care about them. Be honest, it usually works, and try bringing it up with them.
I'm going through the same thing you went through now I'm not going back to them I figured I can focus on my own happiness outside others now
I stand with Salati on this one, it does not necessarily mean they dont care. I would know, since I had the shutting-myself-out episode too. Like with yourself, it really did not help and I still sometimes have to force myself to speak up to others, simply to maintain the relationship. But that is how it works, if they dont go both ways they either are toxic, or just collapse. Remember that doing your best does not mean doing the best you possibly could all the time, sometimes our best is just saying "hey, what's up? wanna grab a coffee?" when not feeling like it at the moment.
Yeah, real life isn't some anime where even teenagers act like 50-year-old lifelong friends. Your friends probably do care about you, but they're just as wrapped in their own insecurities to see that you might have your own issues. They're probably just like you. Most people are. All you have to do is enjoy their company and not worry about whether or not they care. You will only meet one or two people in your entire life who will ever go out of their way to check on you. Don't be discouraged by all the others out there who are just like you and are so overcome by their own insecurities to worry about those of someone else.
｢この絶望の美しさ｣
この言葉をまだ拙い日本語の外国人が思いついたとは思えない。短い言葉だけどそれくらい美しい言葉だと思う
I just want to say, beyond the song just being beautiful, as an introvert who has struggled with chronic depression for over a decade, this song really resonates with me. I'm glad to hear you have a good system to vent, I'm still looking for mine, though drowning it with the warmth the Hololive members (especially you, Ina, and Subaru; but all the hololive talent has proven effective) give certainly helps.
I'm looking forward to seeing you continue your journey, and I hope your move has gone well.
That was beautiful.
This is the perfect depiction of the clash between the feelings that Calli has been fighting with ever since before joining Hololive and the feelings that started to flood because of her work as a holoEN member.
This is why we all are here, from all over the world, gathered to watch hololive. The characters they embody are just a shell, that can only be fullfilled by the sentiments and the humanity of the person behind it all. We all love to watch you grow, and pour little by little of yourself into that shell. If it was just the character, it wouldn't be the same, as it wouldn't be the same if it was just the person. What you guys do is a brand new thing, the birth of a new concept, the perfect merge of a real person and a fictional character, and it is what we all love and appreciate.
That song is trully beautiful, in every way you can think of it. It's very human, and it clearly touched a lot of people. We are very glad we can share these moments with you, Calli, and we will always be here, cheering for you, no matter what path you choose to take. For we are Dead Beats, and this is the path we've chosen. Walk by your side, giving you all our love and support, be it in bad moments or good moments.
Thanks for everything you've done so far, and remember to crack open a cold one in name of the bright future ahead of you.
Cheers!
I'm glad that Calli is showing her more sensitive side here, cuz those are honestly my fave songs she's done
Man,calli's voice is just so perfect.she can make u calm or be like vibin so hard,and also ofc the music,lyrics she makes.she is such a great producer!!imagine if we get calli to win a big award on a big global music event.shall we bois?
She needs to work harder if she's aiming for that. But for now, i think she should be focusing on HoloEN atm, aiming too high can lead to depression and other mental illness, and I don't want that.
@@aminazman9311 yes ofc step by step
I doubt itll happen since alot of that is super biased
we can launch her to it if she wants to as long as we help her to be happy and do what she wants
I really love how the second verse makes use of Calli's persona. She uses her symbol as death as a means for justifying her self hatred, before realizing people love her, but then finding that constant attention awkward as they peer into her life constantly. Imagine going from considering yourself a cold hard demon, and suddenly having your feelings exposed to the world on camera.
You know, before I listened to this song, I was wondering who my fave in HoloEN really was. Afterwards, I think I've made my mind.
I love this song not just because it's a great song for me. I love this song because you can feel Calli's raw emotions from it. She's made a variety of songs, each one carrying distinct feelings, and I think in this one, we see Calli in a different light than before. That image of vulnerability, sadness, etc in this song was shown and sung about so well, that you can feel it alongside her.
I really don't know how to explain it into words, but this song really made me realize just how much I love Calli.
Same you basically said what I was thinking about her music.
I played this song many times and even on 0.5 speed to understand it better, but some meanings are still lost I think... Could you make an explanation video as an English learning stream? I think you have many fans who do not speak English native... Love to all deadbeats
I think she has expressed interest in doing a lyric review of her songs before. I, for one, would also be interested in that type of stream, and I speak English natively!
@Kuta Ch. 白澤クタ Since you have a Japanese name, I assume you’re Japanese. If you want to see the Japanese subtitles, you just need to click on the ‘CC’. I’m not sure how accurate they are though, my Japanese is barely intermediate.
あなたの名前は日本語にだから、日本人だと思う。日本語字幕を見えたければ、その「CC」を押す。でも、正確さ知らない、自分の日本語はまだ中級だけだ。
@@ZeroRelevance i think he understands the song,but not the "meaning" of the lyrics
The song's general theme is Callie trying to fighting the sadness and loneliness of her past self. Lots of the lyrics are comprised of English idioms (popular sayings) and metaphors (comparisons of an abstract idea to a physical thing/event, these are very common in English)
a lot of the lyrics are word plays using english idioms (sayings) and plays on words like "somebody" and "some body" many double, triple meanings. calli also has a talent of making word plays across languages between english and nihongo. for example the japanese "seiso" sounds like the english "say so". she makes a lot of japanese -- english wordplays in her songs.
I needed a minute of self-reflection after hearing this.
Can I use this as a checkpoint? I've ignored some in my life and I'll delete this if it shouldn't be here.
As far as I've remembered, I was that one kid in elementary who would like to show or just have a feeling of being better to which didn't really lead me to the right path when I entered middle school, and didn't help me get well with my peers. Middle school I was the bully for all of those years which made it worse in trying to make friends since I either stole or picked on them, wasn't doing well in school or even with my own family members since I'd take some money from my parents which we had a hard time earning at the time. High school I stopped being the bully and made some good friends mainly because I got the opportunity to change myself, no I didn't move but at least the people were willing to accept me and I changed a bit. However, my silence towards my family during those years made the relationship hard to be a family. I practically didn't know anything in my family and neither did my parents knew about me, even tho they gave me things like a phone and laptop. It wasn't just my family that didn't know who I was but my friends too since I kept lying to them about my life. Eventually around my last year of high school everything I enjoyed began to slowly stop feeling fun and became something to burn time to which became something that painfully drains me daily then having suicidal thoughts or running away or committing crimes. 2 years later I'm still lying about my life and everything is hurting, haven't been eating well to the point where its a small bowl of food twice a day as my meal by choice, being with or by myself even drains me of my energy.
This year after finding Azki's song FAKE FAKE FAKE when I was on auto play, Hololive and Holostars helped me gain back my energy whenever I tuned in. But eventually I slowly stopped wanting to watch the streams that I marked for a notification for when it goes live and leaving streams 30mins into it because I wasn't feeling it anymore. I still enjoy Hololive, Holostars clips and Nijisanji clips but it sucks knowing the things I go to to get my energy back stops working for me because I'm scared of losing myself for when nothing works. I don't know what to do with myself right now really other than keep going.
I do want to say one thing tho. . . It's a big thanks Mori for making this song. I usually see parts of my past during my quiet nights once and a while and ignore it but this song made me look at whats happened and where exactly I am and this song made look back and reflect for once and it's great to hear you're feeling better champ.
11/3/2020 4:38am
Hope you’re doing better or even getting your energy back by other means. 💯
How are you doing now?
@@JRN99 Doing better rn. I've been singing to help me vent like Calli since I always bottle everything up inside and its actually pretty fun. Singing this song or just listening to it makes me feel better especially when the last words of the song is "This time look for yourself".
@@osakabehime263 that's great to hear that you're doing better
How ya doing?
I've already written a comment after listening to this song for the first itme and tried to understand it... god I was so wrong (and immediately deleted the first post as soon as I've realized that)
I´ve listened to this song for at least an hour straight by now and I think, I´ve finally understood what she´s trying to tell us....
I think she´s jsut having a really hard time to change her mindset from " by myself is just better" to "~I´m so glad to be surrounded by all of you" without having a doubt in mind that we might abandon her at some point.
especially the lines "shut the lid tight, it´s complicated. Could ya not look inside it´s complicated" at the end of the first verse and "自分の目で見えたいの you wanna see it? fine, this time look for yourself" at the very end make me feel that she´s really really having trouble changing it since she first wants us to stay out of her mind and only know the things about her she literally says and then shifted to ~fine, I may not THINK that its good but inside I KNOW that this (you guys as なかま) is how close I want you guys be.
At first I thought that "fine, this time" is meant a little toxic as in "~okay, after telling you guys hundreds of times, It´s finally your time to think" but later I realized/interpreted it as explained above
there´s so much more I want to write but I´m terrible at formulating my thoughts therefore I´m gonna end this comment with a little message to calli:
take your time - the deadbeats will stay by your side and support every decision you make! It also doesn´t matter that you dont stream as often as others - take care of yourself. That´s our wish #1 (plus I hope I interpreted it the right way - if not, this comment is strange)
PS: pretty sure you could tell but english is not my first language, so sorry if there might are some major mistakes which make reading some passages hard to understand
I'm not native too and I'm having a hard time grasping some of the concepts behind the verses, but you enlightened me on so much that I'd like to hear your take on this specific part:
"By myself is just better
I know I say that a lot.
But if somebody holds you back, then
You cannot become God"
I think the first 2 lines express her battling with her previous concept of being better off by herself, but then there's lines 3 and 4 in which "become God" could mean achieve her dreams/goals and become the best version of herself, but in the way it's phrased she's still scared of someone else holding her back.
And what confuses me is the BUT between the 2 parts: they don't seem to be opposed, in the first part she explains she thought being alone is better and in the second part (about not being able to achieve her goals because of others) she seems to reaffirm why being alone should be better, instead of reaching a different conclusion.
I'm sorry if this is written I a way that makes it difficult to understand, Idk how to phrase it easily
@@giuseppepiuma1965 that part was actually one which stood out to me greatly aswell!
particularly because of the word "but" which seemed off as you explained.
but using "but" like that really made both the line and the song so much stronger in the sense of telling that she REALLY struggles (especially since she´s not only singing about struggling but about being in DESPAIR 絶望)
Imagining her trying to come up with something which weakens her own statement but ending up strengthening it at the end is something that... I dunno... I cant help but want to support her so much more!
I´m so impressed by how strong these 4 lines are, and what feelings they carry
EDIT: (dont take this paragraph too serious pls)
about the "become god" part: I dont really know how to interpret that since I dont have enough insight into her RL (which is good). Ofc it could be to become a great musician but I think that there is much much more behind it which I cannot fully grasp. Having others around 24/7 is stressful and some of them might be a nuisance when connected to some topics e.g. your hobbys/goals (they might try to make you overly cautious out of concern which slows down your progress) - maybe it´s about that?
btw: it was really easy to understand ^^
PS: I feel honored to have enlightened someone >.
@@Lotus-bh1jw Ehi thank you for answering!
Yeah I thought about a similar explanation too ("falling" back on the same concept as reinforcing the struggle) but was not so sure; it could be nonetheless, very interesting song with so many layers as well, sasuga Mori-sama.
Thank you again, have a nice day😉
I can already tell from the title, this song is gonna be absolutely beautiful
Found you lurking around here
@@CrowDepartment but you haven't heard the song?
@@CrowDepartment Pardun?
@@CrowDepartment bruh
@@KingMufasa_8 It’s only based on past experiences
I didn't choose cursed night. Cursed night chose me.
Lol
Listening to this over and over.
It’s incredibly underrated. It hits way different when you see glimpses behind the death queen fascade, and we see a bit of who she actually is... it’s amazing. I’m glad that she’s in a better place now, but God. This just.
Hits different.
Will be making an animatic of this for sure.
put the link in the when you finish it please replies
@@skells9943 Oh! Thank you for being interested. 😊 I definitely will. I hope Calli, if she sees it, likes it.
@@JayTeamations She'll definitely see it through twitter
@@KingMufasa_8 I hope so. 😊
It says 5 months ago and 1 of 6...
Are you still working on the rest of them?
Traducción al español de la descripción(NOTA)+Comentario fijado / Spanish Translation of the video's description(NOTE) and pinned comment
Descripción
"NOTA: Una gran advertencia se viene en los comentarios fijados, pero por favor recuerden que la música es una salida para las emociones, ¿no lo es? Y debido a que esta canción existe, siento la fuerza de continuar adelante en todo lo que hago. Creo que entre toda esta felicidad, viene el tiempo de dejar salir los sentimientos que se derraman en tus Noches Malditas*.
Esta canción de verdad está maldita desde el principio, ambos Ks y yo experimentamos algunas dificultades técnicas muy pesadas. Sin embargo, es una de las canciones de las que estoy mas orgullosa. Espero que le den una escuchada!
PAZ."
Comentario fijado
"advertencia: Vuestro chico está bien, Como ya mencioné, esta canción existe, por tanto me siento genial después de ventilar mis sentimientos personales en música. De hecho, mientras escribo esto, soy lo mas feliz que he sido en mucho mucho tiempo. Contenta con mi música, contenta con mi existencia, agradecida por mis fans y lista para continuar produciendo música. Con eso dicho, sé que algunos aún así se preocuparan por mi. Pero no puedo cantar canciones felices todos los días, como ningún ser, humano o no, podría hacerlo!. Disfrutemos un mundo lleno de emociones diferentes. Los amo!"
----------------------------
*Noches Malditas es el titulo traducido en plural de la canción, "Cursed Night"
@Héctor Iván Negrete Andrés same
I like ur funny words magic man
@@Splitstrike_00 Funny words these are not, a foreign text is what these are
@@pizzaman9859 Wait, creo que te conozco... Do I know you?
Revel?
Y mi premio? >:D
I'll be honest: I really haven't been into rap since I was in middle school. But this song...I had to give it a second listen, then a third.
I don't really know how to explain it since I'm no wordsmith or smart but it. I dunno, it touched me. Reminded me of times I was at my lowest, when I couldnt do anything without getting faced with overwhelming frustration either from an external source or from my own short comings.
It really puts things into perspective from how low I used to be and how things are now, you know? I think songs like that are super important to put things into perspective.
As such, big ups Calli for getting me back into a genre I havent enjoyed in like 13 years.
Keep it real you madlass of a Grim Rapper ✌
The sky’s the limit for this girl’s talent. Actually no, she can still go into outer space. Reach for the stars Calli!
up up and away!
Song Analysis (Part 2):
The final segment of verse two covers much the same ground, but in words that convey the pressure and despair Calli feels at their height. Admitting to another pleasant phrase that hides deeper feelings, Calli explains that if she allows someone in, to see more than the act and hold her back, then she can’t become something more for them, something more than them. The tragedy of those seen as transcendent beings is that, to sustain the illusion, they must be able to carry and care for everything. There is no one to care for them
as they can’t be weak enough to need others.
Naturally, no sentient being can become a system, much less one that perfectly provides for all who rely on it. Failing to care for yourself as a person, no matter how great your role, will leave you “lost in the night;” trapped in an elevated, isolated plane where sympathy can’t truly exist, as you’d have to be another knowable, vulnerable person to receive it.
The emotional dependency and immaturity of this relationship, between a genuine simp and their supposed goddess, is fittingly framed as childish. The stability people reap from “god” is one they don’t need to create for themselves; an eternal source that only requires tunnel-vision to access. In Calli’s case, she recognizes the limitation of being Hostile (Reaper), Hostage (Performer), or Free (Rapper), as these performative roles only offer an incomplete/immature perspective; and thus, an incomplete/immature stability. “These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see.” As a result of playing into these personas so thoroughly, Calli must continually ask herself if she wants to confront the growing despair, as it’s something those childish eyes won’t let her see.
After being treated to the song’s hook once more, and asked again about seeing the beauty of her despair, a sudden silence falls. The long-held façade Calli maintained during her performance, during “the day,” vanishes; followed shortly by the surroundings drowned in filtered (sun)light. A purple screen/sky briefly holding their place before a beautiful scream ushers us into the Cursed Night, Calli and the surrounding sky reappearing in natural blue hues.
Aesthetically and functionally, this transition is another reference to Castlevannia; wherein everyday people disappear after nightfall, leaving you to contend with monsters. In this way, the Cursed Night is where the listener, and Calli (the person), are shown a side of her inner doubts/demons.
This blue-toned Calli is the performer, the beautiful despair we’ve been asked up til now if we’d like to see. As her first scream passes, she cuts to the real question, “Do you want to see it with your own eyes? This despair….” The despair that doesn’t take form as a beautiful song.
With the pretense of beauty finally dropped, a second scream follows and the seemingly opaque performer wavers. This is because our inside look into Calli is still somewhat superficial. We’ve only confirmed that the unmasked face of her despair lies deeper.
Once this last scream passes, she asks for the last time, beautifully then plainly, if we want to see her despair with our own eyes. But while we continue listening for further insight, she disappears with the words: “Fine, this time, look for yourself.”
As the beautiful despair disappears from our world, both Calli and her listeners are left to face an empty sky, the void that was once filled with her performance.
For our part, by walking in Calli’s shoes, and occupying that space for ourselves, we’re tasked with finding peace and happiness by our own design. To throw off the tethers of passive dependence, and effectively become our own gods, so that Calli doesn’t need to be, at least not as much. By making efforts to find our own footing and create a more worthwhile world, we reduce the burden felt by those who truthfully tire themselves out working alone in service of that goal.
We’re certain to stumble as we aim for this ideal, made to take up a daunting weight which most people avoid, but as we do so, we can begin to see the true face of Calli’s lonely despair, not just the distant sight of its shadow.
Following this path long enough, the reverence of idols/gods may diminish, but the people behind them can better flourish - the weight of the world now shared by others, in large and small ways.
As for Calli herself, that final line is spoken from the dressed-up despair she acquired by becoming a lonely god. That mass of feeling now signing out and directing her to stop looking through the childish eyes of “Hostile, Hostage, or Free,” and see through her own. To look for herself this time, and confront the daunting weight of her despair, so that she can find a way to end the Cursed Night.
I've listened to rap since I was young soul. I enjoy the style and the beats and vibin with the music, but then there are few songs that I've listened to over the years where I knew immediately "Oh.. I really need to pay attention to what's being said". To those song, I hold a special place in my heart, because to me the become more like poetry than music.
Calli this will be a song that I will be able to play at any point in my life that will remind me to reflect on myself and what I can do to be better, and may even remind me that sometimes there's nothing I can do but to tough out the Cursed Nights. I sincerely mean this, Thank you.
Rap quite literally stands for rhytm and poetry, I quess we could say this is one of the few true rap songs out there
@@bobwasowsky270 one there's tons out there help show it help people like cali hopsin demondice little dicky push there love for the genre.
listen to little dicky scary thoughts.
listen to hopsin ill mind 6 (and 5)
and dimedice well everything really push her up if you like cali.
@@fistpump64 true Demon D is pretty cool
Calliope, I knew your channel by snippets of lives that the channel "VTuber Cocopostagem" and others put with subtitles in Portuguese, I recently subscribed to the channel to see the lives and ended up listening to the songs you make, and you know, I really like them, no I can understand the lyrics very well, I can only translate excerpts into Portuguese, but I can feel the emotion in each word very well, it amazes me, the grandeur in his voice, the change from English to Japanese, everything is very well done, I really like it of you and your music and I wish you much success. Forgiveness for mistakes, translated by Google.
BOA GAROTO
我らが死神、カリオペ様のお言葉。
所々間違いがあるやもしれませんが都度修正します。私達も、この世界のどこにいようとアナタを愛しています。💀🥀
↓ここから翻訳
先ほども言ったように、この曲は今ここに存在しているので、私の気持ちをこの音楽に吐き出した後の今の気分は最高です。
実際、この文をタイプしているときの私は、とても長い今までの人(？)生で一番幸せな気分になっている。自分の音楽に満足し、自分の存在に満足し、ファンに感謝し、音楽を作り続ける準備ができている。
そうは言っても、私のことを心配してくれる人もいるだろうけどね。でも、毎日欠かさずハッピーソングを歌うことは、人間でも何でもない私にはできません。
いろんな感情が詰まった世界を楽しんでいきましょう。
みんな大好きだよ。
bump this up for the JP bros.
助かる
bump JP bros up
たすかる
Bump
I've never been much for socializing but damn, I've never wanted to have a conversation with a specific person as much as I do with Calli after hearing this song. I wanna hear this girl's story
Honestly yeah, I agree. Not really invested in hololive, but Calli honestly seems like a very real and down-to-Earth person behind the facade. A good person to have a chat with.
Calli, I think this the best one so far. You put so much of yourself into this song. We all feel closer to you listening to this: it's beautiful. I understand not feeling deserving of the good things around you. But you earned this with all your hard work. You deserve every moment of this because you inspire us; we're happy to support you. Thank you so much
Definitely my new favorite, makes me feel sad, but also kinda hopeful?
Reminder set.
Expectations high.
Hype next level
Hotel: Trivago
If i get a dollar everytime i repeat this song i would be rich
Same here mate but those dollars would end up in Calli's superchat.
20/hour could replace the average job
as would I
you're in luck cause videos are monetized by views
well hey atleast you gave her the money
I really love how 90% of the comments is us deadbeats guessing and analyzing each lyric of the song. It truly shows that Calli gave a lot of herself in the making of this song. I absolutely love it.
The phrase that got stuck in my head is:
' "By myself" is just better. I know i say it a lot. But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god '
Didn't like rap before, didn't really take vtubers seriously either. But then Calli appeared with her "Dead Beats" EP. At first, I was just interested. Turned out, all vtubers were actually talented people that deserved attention, and rap can be somewhat listenable. I was sucked into the vtuber hell, and I'm kinda grateful to Calli for it. And now, a rap song by a vtuber just made me cry. How did I even get here in just over a month? Anyway, thank you, Calli, for your music that kinda changed my view on some things.
hard to find good rap nowadays, i wasn't interested aswell untill i found someone like nujabes and a plethora of other rappers with actual thoughts put into their lyrics.
calli really is quickly becoming one of my favorite musicians. nothing but quality and genuine emotion (or comedy, depending on the song) poured into everything she puts out. been listening to Dead Beats so much and this instantly fits into the rotation.
"Any art formed from passion will always be beautiful, no matter what that passion may be."
The line is a bit cheesy but it kinda helped me some time ago, maybe it helps you too!
The line that keeps killing me is 'Do you have a death wish?' Feels like her way of asking 'Do you want me?'
@Raul it could be both tbh, wouldn't put it past her to have some slick double meanings all throughout her songs. Like with the "could you knock first?" , "shut the lid tight", "cannot become god", and "fine, this time look for yourself" all come together in my head to say she doesnt want intrusion and wants to tough it out alone for herself but, with the final line, concedes that yeah if you're gonna push in anyway then do it, but she isnt gonna help you in that endeavor. Like she doesnt want help or pity, but feels that need for support and understanding anyway.
Calliope: Comes back from a one week break and releases a new song
Everyone: Return of the Queen
My grandpa passed away tonight, just as I was waiting for this song. Thank you Callie for being here for us, I will never forget your music
Calli. Whilst you may not know 99% of your fanbase and possibly just how much they care about you, (Even if you are just an internet personality) just know that you have impacted many. Please continue you being you and we will always love and support you.
Calli, I know you'll likely not read this and frankly speaking this has nothing to do with the video but I just really want to tell you something. In the last few days I've been feeling really down but after looking around your channel and seeing how much work you put into everything you do, it inspired me and I found a new purpose. Even this video alone tells me that you can sing, you can draw and you can mix. Those things must have taken years and years to master. I want to be able to work as hard as you and push myself further and further and I'll start today. Thank you for being an inspiration. I know I'm not the only one you inspired to take the first step.
I hope your goal will come true.
@@TrietMDang thanks
I love these kinds of songs, it's always good to see creators that know they have to put their feelings into their work even if they aren't pleasant ones. And on the other end the fans need to realize that just because the art is full of rough emotions doesn't mean the creator is suffering. This reminds me a lot of when THHK put out Mister Jewel Box to explain his feelings around Princess.
Keep up the good work Calli, you're doing great!
Literally brought me to tears. A super relatable masterpiece that hits hard, and it's the music that has that effect on you is what you can call true art. Absolutely love this song, amazing job Calli!
lyrics with Romaji because I'm bad at Japanese
.
The days are blending together
Pretending like I don't notice
Drowning in mental fog so thick
My hands might close where my throat is
Not gonna rap that "I'm cursed"
My words got heavy
And sure enough the steady ebb-and-flow of life subsided
But I wasn't ready
Last night I thought up a song
But I'm too wired to hum it
Inspired sight, like tunnel-vision on the life I got from it
Not tired yet, right? Hah
"It's fun, " I'll tell ya that much
Adventures oughta be remembered as such
But I'm not well
Not today, not tomorrow
These souls inside my pocket are just sanity I borrow
"Sayonara" to the sorrow of eternity alone?
Ya right
Part of the joke is that it's all that I've known
It's justified, can't help that I romanticize your concern
Now I can fantasize forever if you never say the words "Goodbye"
This tainted mind-set really must go free
Finding someone so fuckin' wonderful when I'm just so...
"Me"
Searching by city light
You'll never find me
Running through a cursed night
"Do you have a death wish?"
Shut the lid tight, it's complicated
Could ya not look inside, it's complicated
Somehow I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown
To shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows"
Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?)
Kono zetsubō no utsukushi-sa = (この絶望の美しさ
)
Laid back in the cracks of my past, it's kinda funny
Got sick of the tricking myself into thinking that others would
Only run from me because, as you know, I'm Death
You heard about me?
I'm kinda famous, now it's awkward
But welcome to my constant state of mind
Like, could you knock first?
Hanasanai kotoba = (話さない言葉
_
Min'na no shinpai-goto wa = (みんなの心配ごとは
)
Mimi ni tsunagaranai
= (耳につながらない)
Why's it every time that your kindness
Is making my chest unbearably tight?
But, not for the first time
A terrible night for a curse
But don't you worry, 'cause it hurts fine
Drunk, lost, CalliP
Wandering Rengoku-shi
Enlighten me, is this what they call a "sunk cost fallacy?"
Frightening, in spite of things I want tossed my way
I'm looking everywhere at once and months are passing like days
"By myself" is just better
I know I say that a lot
But if somebody holds you back, then you cannot become god
Lost in the night, Nasakenai = (情けない)
Hostile, hostage or free
These childish eyes will only show my mind what I wanna see
Searching by city light
You'll never find me
We're running through a cursed night
"Do you have a death wish?"
Shut the lid tight, it's complicated
Could ya not look inside, it's complicated
Somehow I'm just a page in, but I've cried and I've grown
To shut away the conversations of my "highs-and-lows"
Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?)
Kono zetsubō no utsukushi-sa = (この絶望の美しさ
)
Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?)
Kono zetsubō... = (この絶望...
)
Jibun no me de mietai no? = (自分の目で見えたいの?)
Wanna see it?
Fine, this time, look for yourself
I really really hope that even as more generations of HololiveEN debut, and even if Calli gets retired, she continues to make music, because she clearly has a passion, and also the talent, for it.
WHAT A
HORRIBLE
NIGHT TO
HAVE A
CURSE.
Remember you're not supposed to be killing yourself for our sake, it goes the other way around! I do hope you never shy away from making music that comes from the heart though.
Big Ups to our favourite reaper for all the effort they've put into this so far
( disclaimer this is just me trying to say thank you while I'm in pain. at the end I feel better! take it for whats its worth, ha I hate whining so bare with me )
fuck me. (i don't normally curse but it felt right.) I'm glad you are ok! This hit really close like Linkin Park and other art does for me. I'm writing this in just another cursed night. I hope I can cope later and goes away but it won't. I just got to find the positives in these moments ha, just only time will tell. Thank you Mori, you're my favorite V tuber. I feel we are very similar in many ways but idk we obviously don't know each other but watching your video's I feel like we do. Thank you for making the song i know you didn't make it specifically for me or others, but still thank you for sharing and I'm glad it helped you too! I agree people thinking humans only have one feeling is insanity. Everyone goes through happiness, sadness, relief, pain and all the different shades of grey. Music does the same thing to meas it does for you. I sing and it really helps, same with my drawing and watching people like you and of course anime so that's cool I guess haha. I'm going to listen to this on repeat every time I'm in a cursed night haha... like tonight! lol I'll make it, just give me some time. I did feel I wanted to be honest on the impact you make on me and others, being real, down to earth and showing you going through life like the rest of us and actually showing your pain really helps and is soothing and makes me care about you even more! I don't put idols on pedestals but I can respect and take things from you guys that put yourselves out on here. You guys have the same importance as the rest of us but that doesn't mean to us that you're any less special and that goes for everyone else as well! The people we except into our lives obviously we care about more but in the grand scheme of things we are all the same, not better or worse than anyone else but we are all going through this life together, and seeing people like you Mori and the other V tubers not let popularity get to your head, staying true to yourselves and express yourself as well as put in the work you guys do especially you Mori. Being real and humble, really is nice to see and helps me and others be able to connect more and I know I'm not going to put you on a pedestal but you really are amazing and caring person and real. I'm grateful to have found you and except you in my life even though you don't know me lol, but just being real with your feelings and view points and being kind to everyone I absolutely love. I do the same and it's good to do! it really helps. I know help really comes from within and my psychologist really helps me with that and another very important thing I like about you is you are being brave enough to just be honest about your feelings and internal struggles and face them head on.. that's what I'm doing and it's hard but it really helps and is an important thing to do and having the guts and ability to accept the hardships and everything about you and face them head on, being able to accept change and do things to help yourself is an important thing to have so good on you and keep it up! and it helps to see another person go through similar things and take them, accept them, and face them makes me feel a lot better. I feel better after writing this and I know its not about me idk it just felt good to.. express myself here. and you help me believe it or not. You help spark the passion and motivation to be a better me and to help cope with my hardships that will never leave mentally, emotionally and physically so thank you for being you. And I hope you can find things to help you I'm still looking for the best things that can but you're a very important person that's up their that is best to help me haha I hope one day I could sit down and have a heart to heart conversation on a call with you I'm not about fame or attention so don't worry about any crazy "fan" I'd talk to you like a normal person, I'd respect your space, and wishes and thank you for everything you've done for me and others and I'd hate to bother you with anything though haha. I'd treasure a great moment with you hoping I could've helped you with anything and taking things you say and apply them to myself it'd be cool and nice to meet you and have a amazing talk with you! is all I'm trying to say haha. Were both normal people just trying to get through life and I think you are a cool person I'd want to be friends with:) I think that's the reason I'm trying to get across. as well as thank you. I love you Calli, thanks again.
When I found this song, it represented my mental state to a T. It felt like this song was venting all the things I wished I could.
Today, I found it again and realized just how much better my mental state is. I didn't even realize back then just how bad I really was.
Thanks for the great music helping me through a tough time, Calli!
Same….this, live again, and end of a life rlly bring back the nostalgia of a darker time but I made it!
same.. only difference from you and me is that this still give me the same emotions back then 3 years ago