This is so creepy, yet SO real! UNTIL! Until you rise above their ego and your own, figure out what's happening, and go no contact. Then you see who they indeed are. That was my experience. It's freeing when they no longer can control you - stand in your power. It's not about ego - at least not for me, it's about self-love and protection of your greatest asset - YOU and your authentic self!
When I first heard the terms benign and malign, it reminded me of its application to tumors as I work in health care. I suppose that is what the narcissist is, in a way, a tumor. I have become much more aware of these hoovers.
First benign Hoover happening to me now. It’s been over 2 years. I’m really trying hard not to get sucked back in! You’ve been a tremendous help, thanks HG
Incredible accurate. The benign hoover occured 7 months post leaving with a picture of his new car ... the most beautiful sportscar ever, reminding me at our vacancies in the mountains ... I now see my nc regimen wasnt perfect. Will fix it now.
When my ex suddenly took up jogging…along my favorite walking route. I was so naive, I didn’t even consider that it was purposeful, even though he hates running. SMH.
I had a recent text encounter with a female who had been a good friend of mine along with others during an era in the late 1970s when we all worked at a restaurant in my hometown and we all loved it there. Over the years this friend of mine and I have fallen out a few times and I must say she has fallen out with almost everyone she knows. She and her now late sister were off and on their whole lives. The last time my friend came from the west coast of Canada where she now lives back east to where I live (although we had gotten together the last few years mainly at my instigation) she texted me the last day she was here and wanted to know if I would meet for coffee in a couple of hours. I actually stood up for myself although this was probably four years ago and stayed with the therapy way of talking about your own feelings rather than accusing and told her that I was stunned and hurt to find that she had been in town for a week and had only contacted me the day before leaving and I felt like I was being squished into a short coffee date. I replied that I did not want to rush for the coffee date. She suggested later that day and I said truthfully that I had a hair appointment at 2 PM. When I got to my hair appointment there was a creepy sighting of her walking past my Hair Salon on the street at exactly 2 PM as I stood across the street waiting for the traffic lights to change. After that I thought I was pretty much done with her and I was content. After two years of no contact she emailed me on my birthday since she said Google had alerted her to it. I was still using my logical mind and thinking that I would respond to her but there would never be any getting together in person. So I wrote her an email telling her what I was up to since she asked. I mentioned a young man I had dated years before whom she knew quite well and said I had finally found a photo of him after about 30 years. She replied that she was interested and had even googled but couldn’t find a photo. I wrote back and gave her some more advice about finding the photo including perhaps quickly signing onto WhatsApp since I know that’s a good device for sending photos and even videos. She was writing from the West Coast. She said she would write later and that was fine with me. The next morning I woke up to a patronizing email from her telling me that although I had suggested she sign onto WhatsApp and that I could perhaps send this photograph to her, she did not use social media and only shared through email and text. She signed with her usual blessings that she’s been blathering on for years since she is constantly in therapy but I had noted recently that I didn’t think she had ever learned anything from edge. Once again I did feel angry, hurt and betrayed. It took me four or five days to get over that and then I’ll surprise myself by being able to laugh at how pathetic she is. I did not respond and never will.
I experienced 3-4 follow up telephone Hoovers over several years after I went no contact after our divorce. I was curt and short each time. I know that the last Hoover attempt was immediately after a breakup of a short lasting relationship. I found that out coincidentally and never tried to know anything about her life. On the last Hoover, when I made it clear that I understood what she was (covert narcissist/sociopath) she cursed me out and hung up. That was 12-13 years ago. I have not been contacted by her again.
15 months of calls...no contact by me. Last week showed up at my restaurant on the busiest day of the year! Walked right by him and took care of others,he just stared ahead at bagpipes on stage.I walked within 5 feet of him and didn't look at him or miss a beat! I thought finally this is it I'm done.....nope next night he calls me at 10:00 pm. WTF...still 100% no contact on my part.
![30 ชั่วโมงคนเดียว บนรถไฟชั้น 3 โซเวียต [Around The World Ep. 2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MlE9boAVqDA/mqdefault.jpg)
This is so creepy, yet SO real! UNTIL! Until you rise above their ego and your own, figure out what's happening, and go no contact. Then you see who they indeed are. That was my experience. It's freeing when they no longer can control you - stand in your power. It's not about ego - at least not for me, it's about self-love and protection of your greatest asset - YOU and your authentic self!
Well said👌🏽
When I first heard the terms benign and malign, it reminded me of its application to tumors as I work in health care. I suppose that is what the narcissist is, in a way, a tumor. I have become much more aware of these hoovers.
First benign Hoover happening to me now. It’s been over 2 years.
I’m really trying hard not to get sucked back in! You’ve been a tremendous help, thanks HG
Did you hold your ground?
This is so true HG, don't fall for the hoover, once you know you go you get out and you stay out,that means no contact and block them on everything.
Poetic. Chilling.
As the narc ages into a senior citizen, I think they run out of steam to hoover.
Not oblivious to them anymore thanks to your superb teachings HG. Like no other. Not vigilant just aware. Thanks again! 🌊
Incredible accurate. The benign hoover occured 7 months post leaving with a picture of his new car ... the most beautiful sportscar ever, reminding me at our vacancies in the mountains ...
I now see my nc regimen wasnt perfect. Will fix it now.
Got ya!
Great video. I won't be fooled ever again.
They're all around us...coworkers, store clerks, church friends, gym goers, crazy world..
When my ex suddenly took up jogging…along my favorite walking route. I was so naive, I didn’t even consider that it was purposeful, even though he hates running. SMH.
I had a recent text encounter with a female who had been a good friend of mine along with others during an era in the late 1970s when we all worked at a restaurant in my hometown and we all loved it there. Over the years this friend of mine and I have fallen out a few times and I must say she has fallen out with almost everyone she knows. She and her now late sister were off and on their whole lives. The last time my friend came from the west coast of Canada where she now lives back east to where I live (although we had gotten together the last few years mainly at my instigation) she texted me the last day she was here and wanted to know if I would meet for coffee in a couple of hours. I actually stood up for myself although this was probably four years ago and stayed with the therapy way of talking about your own feelings rather than accusing and told her that I was stunned and hurt to find that she had been in town for a week and had only contacted me the day before leaving and I felt like I was being squished into a short coffee date. I replied that I did not want to rush for the coffee date. She suggested later that day and I said truthfully that I had a hair appointment at 2 PM. When I got to my hair appointment there was a creepy sighting of her walking past my Hair Salon on the street at exactly 2 PM as I stood across the street waiting for the traffic lights to change. After that I thought I was pretty much done with her and I was content. After two years of no contact she emailed me on my birthday since she said Google had alerted her to it. I was still using my logical mind and thinking that I would respond to her but there would never be any getting together in person. So I wrote her an email telling her what I was up to since she asked. I mentioned a young man I had dated years before whom she knew quite well and said I had finally found a photo of him after about 30 years. She replied that she was interested and had even googled but couldn’t find a photo. I wrote back and gave her some more advice about finding the photo including perhaps quickly signing onto WhatsApp since I know that’s a good device for sending photos and even videos. She was writing from the West Coast. She said she would write later and that was fine with me. The next morning I woke up to a patronizing email from her telling me that although I had suggested she sign onto WhatsApp and that I could perhaps send this photograph to her, she did not use social media and only shared through email and text. She signed with her usual blessings that she’s been blathering on for years since she is constantly in therapy but I had noted recently that I didn’t think she had ever learned anything from edge. Once again I did feel angry, hurt and betrayed. It took me four or five days to get over that and then I’ll surprise myself by being able to laugh at how pathetic she is. I did not respond and never will.
I experienced 3-4 follow up telephone Hoovers over several years after I went no contact after our divorce. I was curt and short each time. I know that the last Hoover attempt was immediately after a breakup of a short lasting relationship. I found that out coincidentally and never tried to know anything about her life. On the last Hoover, when I made it clear that I understood what she was (covert narcissist/sociopath) she cursed me out and hung up. That was 12-13 years ago. I have not been contacted by her again.
Ah yes, The Benign Follow-up
Hoover, quite clever and very sly. Ummhuh.
15 months of calls...no contact by me. Last week showed up at my restaurant on the busiest day of the year! Walked right by him and took care of others,he just stared ahead at bagpipes on stage.I walked within 5 feet of him and didn't look at him or miss a beat! I thought finally this is it I'm done.....nope next night he calls me at 10:00 pm. WTF...still 100% no contact on my part.
You are not in no contact of hé can call you
I heard a greater say the narcissist is bound to us. I wonder if you could clearify that. I know about the feeling of ownership.
Its all about rejecting without being rejected, thats what the narcissist reduces relationships to.
Yes.. for sure that is...🎉
Thank you.
我超懂這些條件的啦 😁😁
真的很重要