One UNbiblical belief that will kill your marriage.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- I know it can feel oppressive to constantly hear that we have such a high calling to self-sacrifice and self-examination. But it's only oppressive to our flesh. And if you don't kill that sinful selfishness it will kill everything else.
My website BibleThinker.org
My wife put up with my agnosticism for 20 years before I finally accepted Jesus as my Lord. One thing I’ve learned: we must yield to the Father before we can yield to our spouse.
💯 Could not have said it better
🔥
@Jesus Is Lord What do you mean?
This is the foundation of what makes a man/woman even have the capacity to engage in marriage in a biblical, healthy and Christ honoring way. All glory to Jesus Christ our God.
@the wumpus this is SO encouraging! My husband of 6 years is not a believer and I pray everyday for him to come to the truth and accepting Jesus as Lord. If you could give a wife in that situation, what would it be? I don't want to push him away or nag him, but I care for him so much. What would have helped you?
In the months before I got saved, my husband and I both wanted out of our marriage and each had one foot out the door. Not long after I got saved, my husband jumped on board and was saved, and we're happy now and very grateful that we didn't give up. Praise God!!
Wow God is good!
@@asenazov4814 ALL the time!
Happy to hear that! God bless you!
I wish you and your husband all the best, may God keep on leading you and blessing you. :)
That’s great! I’ve been waiting almost 40 years for my husband and today was another argument about the Bible and all I do is repeat myself . .. I’m so over it…it’s up to God - it’s not my problem any longer…I’ve let go to let God …and I’m still waiting … 40 years. 😂 but I’m at peace.
My parents’ marriage was always far from perfect, but after my mom got saved, my dad has become increasingly harsh and controlling, would forbid her from going to church, etc. She would call her pastor and cry, and all he would tell her is that she has to be patient, forgive him, and keep praying for him. After the children have moved out, she couldn’t take it anymore and left. They never divorced but she lived separately for a few months. Then we found out my dad had terminal cancer, and she moved back in to take care of him. He repented and accepted Jesus before he passed away. I don’t think I could have done it if I were her, she’s a very strong woman. Goes to show that if you have patience and faith, God can work all kind of miracles in your life. Still, wouldn’t wish what my mom has gone through onto my worst enemy.
I'm not minimizing your mom's suffering but I'm sure the intimacy she achieved with Jesus through her suffering was worth it. ♥️
Speaking from someone who was in your mother's shoes I wouldn't recommend it I was the Christian in the relationship me ex wife did the same only reason I stayed that long is because my Church pastors told me to stay in the relationship for the kids sake I regret not leaving sooner trust me when your in a relationship with a narcissist they will cause damage emotionally spiritually in yrs to come my ex ĺeft and cheated on me my problem I didn't love God and myself enough to leave sooner
@@garawa1987 What is a "narcissist"? What does the Bible teach about narcissism?
@@garawa1987 thats actually horrible advice. In an unequally yoked marriage where one is saved and the other one is not, the one who is saved sanctifies the unbelieving spouse and their children are holy 1st Corinthians 7:15
In a situation like that you are meant to save them while they are there to refine you.
@@garawa1987 EndtimeWarrior is right, it's definitely unbiblical advice. I'm very very sorry you went through that though.
Adultery is the only reason we're ever permitted to end a marriage, with the exception of domestic violence, I know the lines can get a bit blurry there. @Yeliena's mother was honoring God by staying in the marriage. 100%
“Never let sin against you develop sin in you” -Dan Mohler
Beautiful truth
Profound.
Great quote!
Dan Mohler? Not Albert Mohler?
@@pianogal853 Yep Dan mohler.
"Don't Sin" -Jesus
Before I got married, I always thought that arguments, really shouting matches, were an essential part of marriage. In fact, I had heard as much from many Christians and even pastors. But I have learned in my own marriage that it is not true. My husband and I have committed to not shout at each other or speak in anger. When we see that a disagreement is headed that way, we take a step back and come back to the issue when we are feeling less emotional.
We are not perfect, but Christ is. And in our weakness He is strong. When we rely on Him, and walk in the Spirit, marriage is good.
You are absolutely right. I’ve been with my husband for ten years now, married for five. When people have asked us over the year how much we argue, we’ve gotten tsks and head shakes when we tell them we don’t argue. We communicate and we submit to one another. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been told to “be warned” that not arguing is “unhealthy”. We have disagreements, sure. And at this point, we have raised our voices at one another, twice. Both times were completely unnecessary and selfish of us.
30 years here. And one thing we always do is try to never disrespect or demean each other, and not go to bed angry. We very rarely have arguments, and if we do we take the time to apologize to each another.
Thank you for saying this!
Been with my wife since I was 15. We are 40 now. Both have our masters degrees, and she had a job before our kids were born. We do not yell at each other or curse at each other. We feel that is an opportunity to expose a chink in the armor that satan could exploit. There’s plenty of opportunities for him to attack us, why give him one we can control?
Agreed. We’re the same too. The arguments are healthy opinion is so unhealthy. We have to stop putting this as an idea.
Being Christ-like towards my spouse, even when I don't feel I'm being treated fairly, comes easier when my heart is set on pleasing God. When I think of the sacrifice I am making (dying to myself) it becomes a joy because God sees how much I love Him and he sees the level of difficulty I'm going through to follow him. It's my own love letter to Jesus my king. It makes the burden so much lighter! At least that's how I see it.
That's great advice thanks
I appreciate you sharing this, thank you.
Amen! This is a meditation on the third person in a marriage, our Lord!
@Kate Bee ❤️😊 God bless you sister in Christ!
Way to live by faith in Jesus, Sarah. May God’s grace sustain you ongoing.
Another problem is the whole "falling out of love" excuse for divorce. True love is not a feeling, it is a choice. People who are willing to die for those they love aren't at that point because of a feeling. They are that point because they made a decision at some point to put the needs of someone else above their own.
Edit: Self discipline, commitment, duty and self sacrifice are the driving motivators of true love, not a feeling.
I always see the 'feeling' as simply helping in the process of progress and lighting a flame to make the decision. They are not bedrock of commitment, choice is, through decision. They simply help to fan the flame for the commitment. Almost like, how desire for someone you see and enjoy the presence of, propels you as a man, to pursue them towards the decisions you make on the way to eventually committing to Marriage. Not married yet myself, but this is where I see the part 'feelings' are supposed to play.
Yup. God gave us a whole series of verses defining love. It does not say "love is butterflies and romance." Rather it is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs etc.
Or to entertain the delusion that you are leaving because you are not ‘happy’ and God ‘wants you to be happy’….and that can only happen if I leave to live with someone else. No. God wants you to die to self and keep your vows you made before him. Disobeying the Lord for your own selfish ‘happiness’ leads only to spiritual ruin and forsakes living by godly love.
Yup '' husbands love your wives '' it's a commandment to love, it's a choice.
Amen and AMEN!!
I'm mocked for being single. The saying is "If you wait for Mr. Right, you'll be Miss Left." My reply is that it's better to be Miss Left than Mrs. Wrong. Except for my grandparents and my parents, most of my other female relatives (cousins, etc.) had bad marriages. Also, "Always choose a date that would make a good mate." A male real Christian shortage here drove my younger sister to quit caring about the religious status. She's a menticide apostate now. Jesus Christ has always been my First Love. If I never find true love with a real Christian man, I pray for God to provide my needs for me. The Bible says not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers.
Singleness is a gift as is marriage
Sister, I hear you. Also been single all my life, and I know the crushing loneliness it can bring - and things that some Christians say are not helpful... 'Just focus on God'.. Isn't that something we all should be doing, not just singles?
God has made marriage to be a good thing, a wonderful thing and a blessing, but the current situations makes it so hard to find a Christian man who's willing to commit. (meanwhile, divorced folks can easily find someone for the third time..)
@@NarnianLady Go out on the mission field and you will find a real man. That’s the issue …
@Diana Lindeman- A spiritual sister told me that she received her husband through prayer & fasting. l said to her, l wonder why this isn't being taught in the church. I know fasting is hard but it can be done after a meal as well. Which the heavenly Father revealed to me.
I'm in a similar situation and I also refuse to compromise. I think God smiles on those who obey and that since those who ask shall receive, eventually we will receive what we ask for even if it takes a little bit of time. ^^
A word spoken in due season, how sweet it is. I needed to hear this. I'm not expecting anyone to read this because I'm always ignored, but by some chance if someone reads this comment, please pray for my marriage. I'm broken. 😭💔
You’ll be in our prayers, brother or sister. Jesus is Lord.
Broken is the place God picks us up from. Son of Jesus, you are in good company with other Christ followers because most have gotten to brokenness before fulling giving everything to Jesus. You and your marriage will be in my prayers. God bless friend.
@@catotheyounger55 thank you so much.
@@marywallander1206 thank you very much.
praying for you.
Marriages go through seasons. Having young children, having teenagers can be difficult. Picture yourself at 70. You’ve left your children’s father, you’re alone and there’s no one who remembers all the beautiful things about your youth. There’s a big hole in your family. Stay with it because the alternative of brokenness isn’t worth it.
I wish someone would have told my ex-wife these words about 7 years ago.
@@tzgardner it’s a sad story. People are so flippant about leaving and breaking up families. Supposedly to have their needs met, to be free from whatever. You’re never going to get those elusive things because most of the time, the only way out is working through it. Very sad and all too common, especially for children to experience their world breaking apart.
Wise words.
Staying married when you're being tormented isn't getting rid of or preventing brokenness.
@@jc9716 I think tormented can be a hyperbolic way to put it here. I think this person is talking about generally the way people tend to dissolve marriages because of things thay can be worked out and as a result, broken families are created.. It's not necessarily a blanket statement for cases such as abuse, but in a high percentage of marriages, things can be worked out.
So grateful for this teaching! My husband and I have been married less than 3 years, but our first year of marriage was very difficult due to a major lack of maturity on my part. My husband was strong and steady in his love for me during that time, and he has taught me so much. Now, we recognize a point of contention before it becomes an argument, and we stop it in its tracks and remember how special what we have is, and that no disagreement is worth damaging our relationship. My husband and I do not raise our voices at one another, and we have not had a single argument since that first year of message. We now enjoy a blissful, loving, fun, and exciting marriage, and every day is one that we cherish- thank You Jesus!
I have never been married, but in my youth I desperately wanted to be. I became morbidly unhappy over not being married. The Lord brought conviction to my heart, showing me that marriage would not make me happy. If I was unhappy as a single woman, I would be unhappy as a married woman, because I would take the unhappiness into the marriage with me. He brought me to the place of surrendering my single status to Him and being willing to serve Him as a single woman and BE CONTENT in that state. I think the same could easily apply to a married person. If they surrender their married status to the Lord, He can help them work out the issues that are making them feel unhappy and unsettled.
This is full of wisdom! And excellent marriage advice there at the end 🤗
It's biblical to be content but it says in the Bible to marry if you burn. I'm not sure of your specific situation but plenty of girls that I know haven't gotten married because they want Mr.Perfect not just any good man. Mr.Perfect doesn't exist but there are God-fearing men out there.
@Jesus Is Lord I hate to disappoint but I don’t think there is marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:23-30).
@Jesus Is Lord Are you sure?
The immediate context is Christ being asked among the 7 brothers whose wife will she be and He tells them plainly they are mistaken.
One purpose of marriage is to prevent sexual immorality (1 co 7:3). More importantly, it’s an earthly representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. Neither of these will be necessary in heaven. It’s also a catalyst for further sanctification which won’t be necessary in heaven.
But, I don’t pretend to be an authority on scripture. I could be very wrong!! I guess we will find out one day 🤗💚
@@reesewitherfork6142 you are correct. The ones who will be or would have made it or lived to see Jesus coming back at the very end they or that group of people will be able to have kids in the 1000 millinium reign. Those who have died or will die will become angels.
Another thing that is wrong;
"You 'NEED' to be happy in your marriage."
No... you need to do as God requires. which is to love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable, be humble in the face of others pride. I thought I needed to be "happy". So, I stopped committing to my marriage. Because I wasn't happy.
My wife, bless her, was not happy either. (between years 2-4 we didn't get along.) She wanted to leave, but didn't because she knew God didn't want her to. Then, she got a way out.... I had an affair. I admitted to it. My conscious screamed too loud for me to keep it secret. Through crawling on my knees and through tears, realizing how horrible and selfish of a person I was, I begged for a second chance. After a few weeks of thought, she accepted. I asked her why she wasn't leaving.
She simply said (though I know it was hard for her);
"Who am I to deny you forgiveness? He said to "rebuke your brother who sins, but if he repents, forgive him. Christ forgives me, so I am to forgive you. If you weren't repentant, you wouldn't have told me."
I had never met someone so good and merciful... and she was my wife! I changed. It took 2 more years of being the best I could be (ups and downs, but with a steady increase through prayer) to finally get her to say she trusted me again. We now have 4 children, a beautiful life, and celebrate our 10th anniversary soon. I married a saint. And though I wish I could go back and do it right from the start, I am simply thankful I was able to see how awful a man I was. If I made excuses, like so many cheaters do, God would have left my eyes closed. God must be Mercy. I now see that if God isn't first, then it simply doesn't work.
//I had never met someone so good and merciful//
There's Jesus, believe in him.
1 John 3:16-18
King James Version
16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
1 Corinthians 15:1-4
King James Version
15 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
Thats one of the most beautiful stories I have heard in the testimony of unequally yoked to equally yoked because thats what its all about in the standard of God if many would heed it. Thank you for sharing that. God bless you and your wife.
It warms my heart whenever I hear you (or anyone else) say very sincerely... "Because Jesus is Lord". This is really the thing. The central focus. Jesus really IS alive. He really IS the King. We really ARE adopted into his family and are assigned a place and mission in his Kingdom. We really do have the opportunity to bend the knee and obey the King. We have the ability to choose to be "Kingdom People" right now as we will one day perfectly participate in that Kingdom when we have been glorified. Are we going to obey the King...or not? Do we reaffirm in this day...in this hour...in this moment of contention..... is Jesus still Lord? Or have we crowned ourselves king of our lives once more?
Wow! An entire marriage conference summed up in 10 minutes. Incredibly wise advice. Thanks 😊
Who knew you don't need an expensive conference with "well known" leaders. Best comment by the way. 🔥🙏
Not entirely.....martial rape (& sexual addiction) is NEVER discussed anywhere in this porn infested world.
Disgusted by it all!!!
My friend waited 20 years for her physically abusive husband to change. She prayed, day in and day out, and one day he almost killed her...She finally left and divorced him. And he was also having an affair. (He was a pastor, and still is). This advice is great when you are dealing with normal people, not with a controlling, physically abusive, emotionally abusive, narcissistic spouse. Marry someone who has a desire to grow and takes responsibility for their actions. Or better don't get married at all.
Its hard to know at the beginning because they can mask so well and love bomb like crazy. I didn't figure out my asperger husband's problem until I was in our 14th year of marriage. I know it's crazy. We have been married for 18 years, known for 22 years. I didn't date whole lot and was naive. My husband is the only man in my life. When we worked in the same place, I fell in love with him for his calmness and quietness. He ACTED like confident (but actually is clueless). I guess at that time I created an image/projection of him in my head. Gradually, I wondered why his behavior was so strange. This guy absolutely has no motivation of anything, always paddles along with me (I am active and outgoing, like to explode and love new adventures). When there is any problem, he is just quiet and inactive (so I naturally pick it up and take care of it). I found excuses to brush it off...like it could be a guy thing, could be a American thing (I am from a different culture), could be a southern thing, could be a small town thing..., then I got frustrated --> anger --> resentment --> bitterness --> despair --> hate --> disgust as years went by. I don't think there is any man out there who has a desire to grow and takes responsibilities for their actions. If so, they are well taken. I talk to my lady friends and most of them have different kinds of problem with their man.
@@lifeseries7944 How ableist of you. In sickness and health amirite?
That’s what happened to me but it wasn’t long after we got married he was hitting me and doing this abusive stuff in front of the kids.
After finding out I was pregnant and him doing it to me while pregnant I prayed and prayed for months and even asked our pastor and he said I should go back home to be with my family. Still allowed him to pray in front/over the church. Never confronted him about his sin. It was awful. Never asked how I was doing or nothing.
@@lifeseries7944 can you message me? This is the first I have heard someone speak about my situation? I really don't know what to do
@UlmanRule you are never called to stay in an abusive relationship. Get help for how to leave safely
I think something was unsaid here, which has a major impact on the context: Respecting marriage is not just "I will do my part no matter what", nor is godliness "I will always yield to prevent the argument". Yielding to his/ her ungodly behavior - whether you are a wife or a husband - can encourage your spouse's sin.
Respecting marriage includes having real consequences for a spouse who do not love and honor - one-sided love does not make a successful marriage.
Well said. I suspect the context of Mike's advice is for smaller points of difference. But some couples truly struggle with one or both sides engaging in serious sins or abuse. And that is a much harder situation to give advice for.
(Written on Jan 07,2023 ) I was married 34 years to an abusive “ Christian “ man who was a porn/sex addict and chronic adulterer. We both attended Bible School for three years over 40 years ago.He had a Pastoral call on his life but wasn’t serious about walking with JESUS. His sin almost destroyed me and has my two adult children. We divorced in 2014. My prodigal 41 year old daughter is a married Lesbian and my prodigal 39 year old son is a chronic drug addict on the street. I laid down my life in intercession for my family. I have repented to the kids for subjecting all of us to abuse. I should have never reconciled with my husband all the times I did until there was genuine fruits of repentance. God does not want kids and spouses to be abused. It takes two to make a healthy marriage and family. The Church needs to deal with the epidemic of porn/ sex addiction and other addictions and abuse. God does not want spouses to submit to chronic unrepentant patterns of sin and abuse from a wayward spouse. God wants our homes to be places of peace, safety and refuge. I wasted a lot of years with a man who didn’t walk the walk but only talked the talk. I have experienced great healing and deliverance and deep healing from my years of trauma. I am praying the same for my prodigal adult children and my grandchildren. Thanks for letting me share part of my journey.
@@joyjagracepatterson6141 Thank you for sharing your story. I read your comment and is so glad you got free.
I agree. Also, part of actually loving someone is telling them hard truths. My husband was an addict for many years, and though of course, on some level he knew what he was doing, when someone is inside addiction, they can't see the true reality of it all and what it's doing. I realized I was watching him die slowly and if I loved him, I'd do what it takes to stop that. I had to confront him and this addiction, which was to drugs. He got violent when he couldn't get drugs or money for them. So he ended up in jail for awhile because I called them. I told him I wasnt gonna watch him die and destroy his life and his familys along the way. Meant it too. I did that because I love him. If I didn't, I wouldn't care what he was doing to himself and others. No divorce, just had to do what I believe was necessary to stop the evil that was killing him. He's sober right now and I pray he can stay that way.
@@joyjagracepatterson6141 I'm so sorry for your kids, I will pray for them. Your lesbian daughter makes me think of what could've happened to me before I started to walk in faith. How saddening.
We fought the first eight years until I realize that I was focusing only on the things that irritated me. I made two columns of good and bad and my deal breakers. He never violated my personal deal breakers and when I realized it it was like a lightening bolt over my head. I really have a great guy and never appreciated him!!!! So when I started focusing on the things that he's great at it changed our relationship!!! He started to appreciate me and for the last twenty years are wonderful. We still argue but now it lasts about 5-10 minutes to say what's on our minds. I thank God every single day that Richard is in my life to stay. When I introduce him to others I call him my better half!!!
That's really good advice. I needed to read that.
She’s “unhappy”. That’s grounds for divorce.
Such loyalty. Such commitment.
I would 'kill or die' to be married but at 70 years old, beginning to lose hope could use some prayer. Me, I've been praying about your insomnia. Love & God's blessings, love you & your work.
Don't say that
Amen.
I don't know you so don't take this personally, but I would ask myself "why" I want to be married. Is it to fill some void in my life, some want that I have, or because God is calling me to it? Most of the people I know who "have" to be married are doing so to deal with fear and loneliness and other things that are really short term in this life (real as they are). So is that a good reason to go out and clamber around for a spouse?
Despite what this other person wrote, Jesus himself said there will be no marriage in heaven. But He did say that He came to seek and save *all that was* lost. Not just "all those who are lost". In other words, things which were lost to us, or were taken from us, will be restored in the end. In the end, all things (including the earth) are restored to us the way they were meant to be. God Himself wipes away all tears and there is no more loss, or crying or pain or suffering or death. No more saying goodbye or being separated from those we love who are saved. This means that whether married or unmarried you won't be incomplete or upset about it because those things don't belong to the kingdom. Your happiness won't be more full anywhere, ever than it could be with Jesus ever present on earth with us.
I don't know why some of us don't get to see our dreams come true or our hopes come to fruition, or why for some others, their dreams and hopes come true but only for a very short while. And I know it can be really hard to deal with sometimes. Jesus knows it too. He dealt with loneliness a great deal and had no permanent sense of home or family while He was here as an adult in ministry. I've got to hope that the possibility for such relationships still exist for us here, or that He will in such a way that I cannot even fathom, make it so good at the end that it won't matter.
@Jesus Is Lord
Jesus answered and said unto them, "Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." Matthew 22:29-30
Go argue with Jesus if you don't like what he said.
Jennifer
What I know is that Adam was with God and then God still gave him Eve. If you want to be married it is biblical to go ahead and get married. Is it possible that in today's Christian culture some expect Mr. Or Miss.Perfect.
Some are so wrapped up in fantasy and movies that a the real thing is not good enough for them.
This couldn't be anymore timely. For about a month my wife has been staying with her mom and she has our kids there as well. She wants to separate as well but she is the only one. Please pray that God softens her heart and she keeps the marriage together for our sake, the kids sake, and to honor God.
Praying for you and your spouse @Angel. May God restore you both to live out a marriage that reflects Christ and His bride, in Jesus' name.
@@geraldsam8017 thank you brother.
Yes pray but make it clear to her you love her and that you will not split up. Many women believe that their husbands don't love them and do this. Take charge of your house and stop letting the government destroyed family. I don't know why Christian men think being mister nice guy will keep their wife happy. You have to call out sin and not except it when she does it. Thinking it's the loving thing to do is to let her sin all day. Don't be mean but we'll never respect a push over. There's plenty of times when I did not get my way and it hurt but it made me respect him even more because it was the right decision in the long run.
I'm in the literal same situation.
Just keep trusting Christ and let her see what He is doing in your life. If she chooses to reject it, that's her decision. Just be an example. Look to the CROSS.
GOD BLESS YOU
Hang in there brother...
In my situation I married my husband when he was 2 years sober. He remained sober for 8 years of our marriage, other then a short relapse after 5 years. He struggled a lot with his ego after that relapse. Then at around 8 years he had a different personality. He didn't respect my boundaries anymore. If I tried to speak to him about his moods or his crossing my boundaries he would get upset. I am not a fighter. I knew not to argue back but eventually even my calm demeanor angered him. He was relapsing constantly. He was abusive and manipulative. One night he yelled and cursed me for an entire night even though I continued to try not to engage tried to calm him tried to understand and tried to explain how he was hurting me. I knew after that I had to leave. Even then I tried not to divorce but eventually had to get an order of protection and file for divorce. It's been completely heart breaking. I pray he finds healing and peace and returns to a sober Godley life.
How do you know he was sober for those previous 8 years and not just hiding it better? Was he ever diagnosed with a personality disorder or tried behavioral therapy? Did he ever seek Church deliverance prayer healings? I've also heard of slow growth brain tumors completely changing the personality & decision making of grown adults over time.
All I can say is that Mike's advice here is SPOT ON. I've been doing these things for the past 2-3 years (and trying to work on doing them better and better as time goes on) and it has made an enormous difference. We still have issues, but we can still love each other anyway, and I will keep doing my best to be a good wife no matter what, because I love my husband, and because Jesus is indeed Lord.
There's a reason why 1 Corinthians 7 wants us to be free from care by not marrying at all. Never having a spouse can make purity a challenge, but the peace and quiet is divine indeed.
God has blessed me with an amazing wife!!!! God calls the man to love his wife, and the wife to respect her husband....regardless if he or she deserves love and respect. It's the man and woman's deepest need.
@Jesus Is Lord Throw it in the garbage? Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. Heaven will be the fulfillment of the marriage of Christ and His Church.
@Jesus Is Lord you have a very un-biblical view of marriage.
@Jesus Is Lord You can read in Ephesians that marriage is a representation of Christ and the church. That idea is very biblical
@Jesus Is Lord
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
-Ephesians 5:21-33
@Jesus Is Lord
"That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."
-Matthew 22:23-30
My spouse passed away (sudden heart attack) 2 years ago today. I don’t miss being married. It wasn’t a good experience. I refused to fight with him. I let him have the last word after giving my thoughts & reasons on whatever the situation was. I’m paying dearly still for decisions made that I didn’t want. It hurts. It’s hard! I don’t think I could ever trust another one so I plan to be going it alone the rest of my life.
And what exactly is your purpose in posting this here?? Why were you even watching the video??
@@ASmith-jn7kf I would imagine she's commenting on her experience being married that was fraught with pain, difficulty, and abuse.
If you listen to Mike in the beginning he said he wanted to talk to this person for an hour as this is such a complicated issue: meaning a question like this can't be really be answered with a 5 minute intake.
A gracious reply towards a stranger sharing her thoughts would display the kind of Christianity Mike is describing: "A soft answer turns away wrath."
Tina, you are never alone if you have Jesus in your life. I hope one day you can find healing and peace (((hugs)))
My husband and I agreed to complete a marriage course from our church before we got married. It really helped and everything that this guy says is basically what was in our course. I'm so blessed to have a godly husband.
This is all very well when both partners are 'normal'. I was encouraged to stay with a mentally ill, abusive Christian husband and told that if I prayed for him, God would change him.
After 10 years of praying every day, I questioned this as his behaviour was worse and he was damaging the children. But I was told, just keep praying for him.
After another 10 years of faithful praying, my health was so bad with the stress of the situation that I was very ill and feared for my life. I started praying for God to rescue me.
After another 5 years the opportunity came to leave him and I jumped at it. My health improved so much, I knew it was the right decision. I hoped the shock of me leaving would change him, but he just continued getting worse to this day, 20 years later.
It's easy to tell people to stick with it and trust God but I look at the damage to myself and my children and wonder why I stayed so long. The children blame me for not leaving him earlier.
Hey Gabrielle, I'm really sorry to hear how you were treated both in your marriage and by others.
I can see it fromt he other side. I was married for 25 years. In that time I suffered 3 bouts of serious mental health problems. I never physically, emotionally or mentally abused or threatened my wife or children. She made the decision to end the marriage, biut was persuaded by my teenage daughter to stay living in the house with us "together" (but essentially living separate lives) for 2 years while she finished school.
I personally don't believe people who are physically, mentally or emotionally abused by their partners should feel obliged to stay living with their spouse, and that separation whilst the person gets treated and repents is appropriate. Whether it is right for them to divorce & remarry is a different matter, but not one that could be answered in a way that would be applicable in every case.
I pray that yours and your childrens scars from this heal over time and that you don't feel guilty for doing what you thought was best and persevering during your marriage. Matthew 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
May God bless you and your children.
@@blindcuckoo6680 Thank you.
According to Hebrews 13:17 the work of authority that God places over our lives is to keep watch over us because they will be held accountable and submission is to help in that work (to keep watch over/ protect)
The moment a husband is no longer doing what God has commanded and is instead trying to destroy the family i would have submitted to God's higher intention and planned my exit. The church gave you bad advice and I'm going to assume they were also terrible leaders for the church as well if they could not identify what God ordained authority should be doing.
A good marriage can't be neglected for too long.
People take their marriage for granted.
When a problem arises you forgot how to navigate the issue together as a couple.
Make time for each other.
The LOVE isn't a feeling All the time but actions.
1. God is the center of your marriage.
2. Don't rely on Emotions heavily
3. Respecting your spouse is a reflection of yourself.
Obviously there's more details but that's my main 3.
As he says, this truth is pretty much the solution to 99% of marriage problems- and in fact problems with anyone.
If anyone reading this if you can please pray for the heart of my husband we are currently separated and on the verge of divorce. He is not a believer I have no idea where he is at.
All I can say is before I was going to file the divorce as I sat in the car and turned on the radio all that came on from the preacher was with God All things are Possible. The Lord had been telling me that verse over the years throughout my marriage. Long story short I still filed for the divorce but the judge denied it and said he wanted a secure address to serve my husband so the judge did not end up allow me to file for the divorce. We are still married.
It’s been so hard if you can please pray the Lord do his complete will in this I surrender to whatever he wants me to do. My husband can be so hard to be with I do love him I just wish the Lord would soften his heart.
Thank you all and God Bless you.
Praying for you.
My wife left me recently because of unforgiveness and holding on to pain. I just learned that she was holding on to things from literally day 1 of a nearly 6 year marriage.
God gave us forgiveness as a gift; not just from him for what we've done, but also the forgiveness he asks from us is another gift for us.
No marriage or relationship will ever survive unforgiveness and refusal to let go of pain.
What did you do though David
@@Time_Limit Looking back there was also some emotional abuse on her part. She still has a hardened heart, but I am getting closer to God weekly.
She hasn't filed yet, even though she said 3 weeks ago that she got the paperwork and started working on it. I'm holding on, since God can still restore and heal her, but might be better off if she doesn't come back.
@@davidm4566 Okay but what did You do that she did not forgive you about?
@@Time_Limit OK, since you asked what I did that she did not forgive me for, it started literally the first moment that we got married.
3 years into our marriage she told me that she was angry because I had a cold sore on our wedding and she didn't get a proper first kiss. I did it in such a way for my lower lip to not touch her lip.
The entire first 3 years of our marriage, she had been turning off her bitterness when her son was home and turning it back on when he went to his dad's house like a light switch. From my perspective everything would be OK one moment, and then she would be angry and nothing I did was good enough the next.
She held on to things for months or years. That's what I mean by unforgiveness. We all mess up, but even if the mistakes are minor, they will add up if one person can't or won't forgive.
The thing that saved my marriage was the masculine/feminine polarity stuff, which is actually biblical submission but we were far from God when I implemented it and then he implemented it and then we both saw that Jesus was real (had been backsliders) and realized that God was the one leading us to Him.
What do you mean by “masculine/feminine polarity”? I know about the idea that husbands are the head of their marriage, but I do not know if there is anything beyond this, just that a Christian marriage includes the husband’s headship.
@@computergamescritical6917 This is a term used on internet pages/accounts dedicated to traditional marriage and gender roles, often through a Christian lens. It is a very Christian mindset of the man leading and the woman submitting, which results in bringing out the best of each other’s natures.
Thank you for your vulnerability in posting your heart even though that subject is always going to bring disagreements. At 2.5 years in we have too lost sight of the Lord's direction in our life and I am personally studying and applying my own role ... and to hear that you guys made it through and were able to look back and see God clearly... yes. I needed that sister. Thank you. @janelleH
@@TheBaronFamily cause he was the head the blame for the entrance of sin to the world is attributed to Adam instead of Eve
The masculine and feminine stuff is not that biblical and has been tainted with worldly ideas. Every video about it gives me goosebumps.
Read Hebrews 13:17 to see God's purpose for authority and the usefulness of submission. It applies to parents to child, church leaders to members, government to citizens, employers and employees.
If you keep this in mind, what the purpose and reason for authority is, you won't go wrong.
I see some men leading their families like a terrible dictatorship led government which ironically they would hate a government that governed their nation like they do their house.
Jesus was also someone that would do any activity, even if others deemed it below his position, which doesn't fit with a lot of this "this is your role and this is mine" thing in the feminine and masculine type videos.
My wife walked away from her faith which then made walking away from the marriage very, very easy. In a society of chase your happiness, marriages are just as disposable as anything else.
So sorry that happened to you :(
did you get remarried?
@@19stacymoore I have not. I have some serious doubts if Christian marriages are even possible in our culture anymore.
@@evamkir I feel the same way, I am still awaiting reconciliation, may the will of God be done in our lives whatever that may be, and may we be grateful for whatever may come
@@evamkir, Christian marriages are most definitely possible, but you got to be willing to be the Christian in the relationship; from the fist date till death. Has she remarried?
2nd!! Thank you for all the hard work you put into educating so many of us eager and willing to learn! Bless you and your family for your obedience to the Lord our God!
My pastor was counseling a lady who was about to leave her husband and that her love for him was dead, and was set on doing it. He just sat there and quietly prayed and felt the lord ask her this. Do you still believe I am a creative God? If so ask me to create a new love for your husband? She said she thought he was still creative. So my pastor said for the next month pray that he create the new love and then come back to him. She did so and my pastor and his wife prayed also. They are still married to this day.
Glory to God
@Jesus Is Lord dont. You dont know if it was his actions that caused her to stop loving him.
I myself am married to someone I am not in love with, but bc of my obedience to God, I stay in the marriage hoping and praying that I fall in love again. It’s not easy. But like you said, I’m willing to yield. I married out of convenience when I was younger and I feel bad bc I am not in love.
Trust God and pray that he will undo all the lies you believe from the culture we live in today. Then he'll help you to love and respect him properly. Search for godly wives that will teach you weather in person or a book or TH-cam. It's always amazed me that the Bible says for the older women to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children. So Obviously it's something we have to learn too not just feel.
I am in the same boat. I married my wife because she became pregnant and I thought I had to marry her. I wanted to be in love with her and I have been praying a lot about that. She has mistreated me and refuses to acknowledge this. Over the years though , she has been gaslighting me into believing we have no problems and she has not done anything wrong. I feel bad too because I am supposed to love my wife but I am not in love with her. I pray that the Lord will work a miracle because I am in a position where I don't know what to do.
@@greggeer6231 prayers for you brother
@@greggeer6231 I feel your frustration. God refines us through marriage and parenting. We learn to be selfless, patient, sacrificial. God is working on you. The right thing to do is simple, but not easy. It's to stay in the marriage, and lay down your life. "Greater love has no man than the one who lays down his life for a friend". You don't need to feel in love to love her. Your role as husband to your wife is as permanent as your role as father to your child. If your kid is terrible to you, he or she will never cease to be your child. You wouldn't want God to give up on you. So, don't give up on your wife. If you love the Lord, you just do your part faithfully and He will bless you. And forgive your wife from the bottom of your heart, as completely as you want to be forgiven by God. I hope some of this encourages you to fight for your family and never give up.
@@greggeer6231 "I married my wife because she became pregnant and I thought I had to marry her."
In the most logical conclusion that you were the child's father, this may seem a bit harsh (I do not mean it that way), but... Have you asked God's (and your wife's) forgiveness for engaging in the sin of fornication? Because that would have still been wrong (and mutually damaging) regardless of whether or not you were the biological father; or even if she hadn't gotten pregnant.
I tried to explain this concept to a former friend of mine whose girlfriend (whom he'd gotten pregnant) had later aborted their child. He felt the most regret over the loss (death) of their child; and as a result had broken their engagement (to add to the trauma, he found out years later that the young woman sadly had committed suicide.😢). But rather than deal with the mistake at its' original source, he insisted that I did not understand the situation at all, refused to discuss it further and discarded our friendship.
>"She has mistreated me and refuses to acknowledge this. Over the years though , she has been gaslighting me into believing we have no problems and she has not done anything wrong."
In what way(s) has your wife mistreated you?
It may seem like a minor thing; but sometimes God is waiting for us to go back to where we made a wrong turn (however seemingly inconsequential) and clear that up with Him (and whomever else we may have wronged, if applicable), so that He can bring "beauty for ashes" and a blessing into the current situation.
It's like Pastor Mike Gungor said, the real reason many marriages end in divorce is because of SELFISHNESS.
Thank Mike for your teaching and love for gods word. I got saved when my wife left our marriage emotionally after 20yrs. she stayed with me for a long while. In that i continued to love her and treat her as my wife. But in that she saw other men got pregnant twice and now im raising these beautiful little girls. I thank god for the changing of my heart to love my wife rather thanoving my self and now i love these amazing and beautiful little girls. As of late she moved out and took my kids with her. But i do see them just not as much. But I will never denie my daughter and im doing everything i can to continue tobe there father. I do miss my wife and kids and i continue to pry for her heart life been very hard for the both of us but Jesus found me and now i can lean on him i hope the same for her also and my be some day the lord would bring us back together.
That's so true about people not even wanting solutions once they are exasperated with a marriage. I had a friend going through a divorce, and when she told me that she was divorcing her husband, I wanted to just hold her hands and pray with her. And she completely refused it! It was the first AND only time she had ever turned down prayer.
Rebellious hearts will make grave mistakes that can damage people children for a lifetime...
We struggled staying together until we realized that love is a verb - It is not a feeling. The feeling follows action. I found that if I love my wife even though I didn’t feel like it, after a while my words and attitude changed, then some time later her attitude changed. Gods formula works if we will humble ourselves to learn it and do it.
❤️
This was a great video, but remember, the road of marriage will be much tougher if you do not marry a Christian.
I have been with my atheist husband for 20 years. It’s excruciatingly hard at times. We’re committed to staying together but it’s lonely and subject to a lot of judgment. I’d never wish anything that would mean I don’t have my exact kids, they are perfection. But if I was doing it over I would not marry an unbeliever. Listening to these kind of talks hurts very deeply because I can never be included in advice about spouses putting God first. Only I can put God first and I try, I try so hard, but I fail so hard as well. I don’t appreciate being told I shouldn’t have done it. I did do it and divorce is not a solution. I have to learn and grow and become who God wants me to be through this marriage, but I would say to please pray for those of us who are ‘married Christian singles” and don’t offer I told you so’s”. Most of us make that decision when we are young and spiritually immature. Just pray we have the grace to endure and serve the Lord through our situation.
I would like to think that this work for 98% of ‘Christian’ marriages. I am a part of a private Christian group for women in abusive marriages. It is a HUGE group 💔.
May god give you all wisdom and healing
Be careful about women claiming abuse in their marriages. Most women believe they can be a "Christian feminist" and it doesn't work that way; it's an oxymoron. They're most often rebellious and want control (egalitarianism) and it creates a lot of issues within the marriage.
I'm sorry you're in this situation and that there are many in the same boat. If the boat is going down, someone who truly loves you would NOT advise you to stay on the boat, they would tell you to jump ship and swim toward shore. Is someone who encourages people to stay in abusive relationships showing true love?
You're worth more than you know, as are all the women in your group. I hope someday you'll see that.💞 Please get out of an abusive relationship, you are worth protecting! 💙😢
@@nicholemoore2448 AMEN, AMEN and AMEN.
Star 123 It seems to me that the answer to the question Can two walk together except they be agreed is NO in EVERY INSTANCE except when it comes to MARRIAGE! This is such RUBBISH! It is because people don't KNOW GOD nor what he DELIGHTS IN is why they keep teaching these falsehoods that has pressured many men and women in particular into staying in marriages where CLEARLY there is no ONENESS and like in your case, ABUSE and VIOLENCE. I definitely believe that some people take marriage too lightly and chose to discard it at the first sign of trouble but then I believe as well that there are people who make marriage to be MORE THAN what God intended it to be. NO ONE should seek to ENDURE in a marriage where there is habitual cheating, abuse and neglect. God DOES NOT WANT THIS FOR YOU and you better not say so! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!
I wanted to be with my husband til death do us part, and I yielded as much as I could and became very ill with anxiety, panic attacks and depression because my husband used my faith in Christ as a way to make me feel I was always wrong and needed to submit while he emotional abused me and my children. I sought counseling, I sought prayer from my church elders, I prayed fervently for the Lord to soften my husband's heart so he could see the damage he was doing. I was a new believer when we got married, so I wanted to be a good Christian wife, God fearing and respectful....my flesh would jump in sometimes in a fight and I would repent and ask for forgiveness. This made my husband even stronger at degrading me because I would hold my tongue. He used my past to make me feel worthless, he would be extremely fun and loving and turn to evil with the flip of a switch....I desired to have a marriage, but it was pulling me away from God. The day I walked away, my fire for the Lord has been ignited, my illnesses have been healed. I can give Him my all without fear of my husband. I know marriage is important to God, but not so much that he loses one of His children to it.
@Prey R regardless of the point you made above, God does allow for some exceptions in which divorce is permissible. I believe an abusive situation is one of them because the abusive spouse has abandoned the marriage covenant by creating an unsafe situation.
God doesn't require a woman to stay in an unhealthy, abusive marriage.
@Prey R again, I agree with you to some extent about it being a slippery slope. I think that a spouse who is truly abusive (creating a fearful and possibly dangerous environment that causes lasting effects) would reach the threshold of abandonment. As parents we also have a duty to protect our children from unsafe situations. Not that a situation may never be rectified, but separation from an abusive partner may be necessary.
@Prey R well I guess we disagree on this point because I believe that God will even forgive sins that we commit even with the full knowledge of being a sin. Just like I believe that he will forgive sins that we don’t even ask forgiveness for because we don’t know/believe we have sinned. For example, maybe one feels justified in holding resentment in their heart (a sin) towards someone because that person has or is wronging them and so don’t even feel the need to ask for forgiveness. In your viewpoint, their ignorance should not absolve them, but again, God’s mercy and grace is sufficient for his children.
@Prey R there is reason because a Christian desires not to sin because of the conviction of the Holy Spirit. That does not mean that a Christian who has committed a sin (even intentionally) has lost their salvation and is going to hell. That is a big leap there and you also overstep by saying that such a person is not truly sorry after the fact, even during. Your version of Christianity is very exhausting and scary- one could never be confident of their salvation
42 year marriage. Both saved and solid Christians. BUT we could never resolve issues. He is deathly anxious and afraid of any conflict, no matter how softly spoken I say it. Turns out he was into porn our entire marriage and not only lying to me but to multiple Christian therapists. Listening to you talk, I'm ready to cry. If I back off, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will get done. No chance of resolution. ZERO. He had a massive stroke 2 years ago and I'm now taking care of the man that basically emotionally abused me. It's a miracle I haven't walked out but there's nobody to take care of him. Please please be careful how you phrase things! I put forth 100% effort and got zero return and I got played. And as a Christian, this is truly heartbreaking.
I thank God for great Bible teachers like you. What a river of refreshment to my soul.
Marriage...for better or worse. When we're young and in love, we only think about the 'better'. When one partner is forever changed by a disease, accident, mental illness...the 'worse' part is extremely difficult to live in...not through... because it never ends. Taking care of your spouse and seeing your hopes and dreams evaporate right before your eyes, changes you. The partner who is the caregiver has to dig deep into their faith and rely completely on God because the 'other partner' isn't really there anymore. I would love you to speak to caregiver spouses who's life has been changed by their spouse's disease, car accident, mental illness, etc. Thank you Mike for your steadfastness in the Word.
That was my parents situation. It was with mental illness. Eventually they separated, now they are best friends and look after each other, they just live in different houses. Things worked out in the end. It took years for the marriage to heal though after the separation.
You know God is working when you go to bed frustrated and pray for guidance and wake up to this video as the very first video in your recommendations. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways, sometimes He puts a sermon on the exact topic you need to hear at the top of your feed! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Father!
I'm a Christian and I took all I could. I left & I'm happy. And I tried. If you can make it work, do so. I'm just happier alone. Me and my animals and I'm closer to God.
Respectfully, you are wrong. Jesus hasn't taken all he could with you in fact you expect him to always be there at every mistake or wrong thing you do faithfully because Jesus is a faithful God to us and he always extends his grace and if you cannot and have not done the same you need to repent because if you don't extend grace, grace will not be given to you. Ask the Lord for grace and a love that he has in order for you to give that to others.
You had the power and held all the cards (read 1st Corinthians 7:15) but you didn't care to go through anything for the sake of someone else soul that by you could have eventually led to them to Christ. Where would be all be if Jesus felt like that about us. Pray and ask for grace repent and go back to your husband. God bless you I say this in love.
@@endtimewarrioress Be careful making judgements on other people when you don't know all the facts.
@@tammyewert1712 my post was based on what was said from a bibical standpoint you just like dont it. And what I said was in respect but people like who are the millions when you dont like what is said you say they are judging. Its in the word of God i gave scripture the Bible and i said what I said in respect. So ultimately you dont disagree with me you disagree with the Word of God.
This person left a marriage possibly or is supporting a situation like that when they are probably in adultery with someone else all because "they took all they could take" any Bible reader knows that's not grounds for divorce, that's why I said we have to extend grace because I actually know read and live by the Bible to know Jesus has ever right to divorce us but he doesn't he is faithful to us so we have to extend the same grace faith love and forgiveness to others if you do not you are not in Christ and will be judged,
if that convicts you praise God because wise believers know conviction is love.
Good for you 👍🏻
@@endtimewarrioress According to the scriptures you keep quoting, if the OP hasn’t remarried then they haven’t committed any further sin.
I know my situation doesn't fit your talk today, & I believe you will get to it later, but I need to say this now. I did these things for 15 years, until my husband's verbal abuse towards myself & our 2 children became increasingly physical. I prayed all that time for God to "show him what he's doing to us so he'll stop!", then "Lord change his heart! You are the only One Who can!". One morning(we worked night shifts), while praying, I "heard" deep in my heart, "Frieda, I don't change people who don't want to change"! So my prayers changed to ask for guidance for ME b/c I had no KNOWN Biblical grounds for divorce, but I couldn't allow the abuse to continue, & escalate, until someone was seriously injured! After some weeks, again I heard deep inside, "Frieda, do you remember what Pres. Carter said when reporters asked him about adultery?" I did, Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh. on a woman to lust after her hath committed. adultery with her already in his heart." Then "What about all those "dirty" magazines you've thrown away all these years?" I gasped! "That was lust!", "Yes, it was." I filed for divorce very soon after that. The coward ran away & hid to avoid child support & other financial court orders! It has been 27 years & no-one has seen him since. If it weren't for the kids, I would have stayed & "took it" since *I* was dumb enough to marry him, I deserved what I got. I had made my bed & would have lain in it.
When we are married, we become one flesh with another person. We become one person. We cannot win an argument against ourselves. You can't win if it means your spouse loses because you are one flesh with your spouse who just lost, which means you just lost, too.
You are not one flesh, you are two people tied to one another. Only men look at arguments like winning and why is that? How is that Godly? This isn't a sport and a discussion is not something to win, an argument should be about reasoning and understanding and hearing people or coming to an agreement it should not be about winning. If my spouse is hurt by something I did, it is not winning to argue how I was right for doing what I did; it isn't about winning it is about my job as their spouse which is to love them. I don't know what kind of arguments you have had but I am not sure where that attitude comes from.
Ohh yes, you nailed it at the end. That "happiness" mindset will kill it.
My wife and I were one of those "perfect matches." We fell in love the moment we laid eyes on one another. We stayed together for 50 years, because we belonged together, like the two halves of a love token. We bth were members of the same Church denomination, but that was only one of several similarities. An American study found that having the same religious background is a definite plus. An author wrote a book entitled "Love is a verb." It is not normally Hollywood's "true love," that needs no maintenance. But we are differen. Others cannot understand that we have no interest in anybody outside our marriage. There have been a couple of women that I admired, but I was happy for their own stable relationships. The one I remember most had her religious belief as just another part of her character. When a Church training commitment clashed with something else (the activity where I met her,) she mentioned it like any other clash. That is how it should be, perfectly natural, a way of life.
Excellent advice. One other major point is that we must "pray for our enemies", meaning this. Our Savior considers our spouse to be priceless, even if repentance is needed. When I reasoned with the Lord after 20 years of rocky arguments and a little violence, and many good times too, I was studying and praying and it came to me about my wife's value. I did not know when we were married that she would break my trust so many times. But every time I thought of her weaknesses, I was rebuked by my own. Like Daniel prayed in chapter 9, "WE have sinned, forgive us for OUR sins". And I realized it was my duty to stop the arguments. Sure, it was hers too. But that wasn't my problem. I was the tyrant when we were married. But I taught it to her and to my kids, dear God, forgive me. So I began to end arguments earlier. Then I learned to say respectable things like, I'll think about it, and I did. When any of our hot topics arose, and even now, a calm and soothing, polite and quiet and humble answer is the best, even if it doesn't work. No argument lasts more than five minutes, and they only occur rarely, maybe every other month. Someday I will no longer be a tyrant.
Excellent perspective! A good reminder even for a “good” marriage or one that’s been long standing. ❤️🙏🏼
This is so true. I’ve realized that my commitment to my marriage is actually an oath to God. I didn’t realize how much pride and arrogance I had and always wanting to run off when things get tough. But when you raise or elevate yourself, you realize the commitment is to God. You took an oath and promise to God that you will love, cherish and honor your husband til death do you part!! Now, I just call on God for strength.
The alternative to arguing can be worse, avoidance.
He does not care as long as he gets to call all the shots
Thank you for the reminders! Some times it's hard to remember it all when you're emotional and angry with your spouse.
It is funny that the message relates to a situation that happened just yesterday. The argument began and I listened to my spouse's words and I realised that there was no interest in anything I might have said, so I said nothing. The argument ended when my spouse finished saying their piece and I said nothing. There was no more words, it didn't spiral into personal attacks. I just listened, saw the truth of what was really going on. My spouse just wanted to be heard. It didn't matter that his assumptions were wrong. The best part is I finally understand I seriously have to let him have his say without any interruption. He is not interested in my point of view at all.
It was a relief to fully understand this. I just wish I had understood this 30 or so years ago.
This is so good!!!! God definitely used this video to speak to me as i was becoming that exasperated wife. Thank you Pastor Mike! 🙌🏼
To my fellow singles out there, this does not just apply to married people. Now is the time when we start honing in on these mindsets. Before an athlete runs a race, they will undergo rigorous training to prepare as much as possible for the race ahead. We also need to have that mindset. How can we practice this? Is God your number one in everything, including looking for a partner? Are you treating your body as if it belonged to the wife or husband God has set in mind for you or are you running around defiling it with other partners? Do you act as if you are already married, or do you consider yourself free to do as you wish? As Mike said, your body is not your own, it belongs to Christ for you were bought with a price. You belong firstly to God, if you are married you belong secondly to your spouse, if you have kids you belong thirdly to them, if you have brothers and sisters in Christ you belong fourthly to them, if you have neighbors you belong fifthly to them, if you have enemies you belong sixthly to them. And finally your body belongs least of all to yourself. For you were not given life that you might satisfy your own desires, but the desires of God which is for your good. What are His desires? To be one with your spouse, to raise your children up to walk in righteousness, to love your neighbor as yourself, to share in the burdens of your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ, and to pray for those who persecute you. God is preparing you for the ministry He has set aside for you, and part of that is your marriage. Live your life now, not as if you have to enjoy being singled before your married, but live your life to prepare yourself for your marriage so that in all things God receives glory
Incredibly true. Last year and really most of my marriage (almost 14 years), I have had the attitude, "why should I, when he won't...." It's been a huge problem, and leaves us yelling about a lot of stuff. And I hate that. I hate that I am part of the problem in our marriage and that my kids have seen that yelling. I don't want that. So over the past year, God has been working on my heart. When I look at it from His perspective and not mine, it changes things. The yielding can be so hard, but it is wise! And since I have seen so many women who have been married even longer than I have and quitting their marriages because they just aren't happy anymore. I mean....it is hard because I understand the unhappiness that can sit there. But I also know I made a covenant with my spouse and with God. I can't just ignore my covenant and Jesus is my Lord, so I must yield to Him and also look at each potential argument with His eyes, not my own. It's hard work, but I am seeing a difference in my heart and my attitude, and some change in my husband too.
"Oh, Marrybelle, if you marry me this one time, I'll never ask you again" - Moe Howard.
I married the woman God sent to me, she is what I am not, 25 years and counting,
Yes! Everything you said helped. I've been contemplating leaving for all the reasons you discussed. I'm exhausted. I'm angry. I'm bitter. I've given up. I prayed last night for God to intervene and I believe He purposely placed this video first in my TH-cam feed this morning because I needed to hear it. So thank you, thank you, thank you for this. For always teaching truth. It does help tremendously and everything you said hit home.
My parents never fought and when they discussed issues they did it in their bedroom quietly after we were in bed. I never saw or learned how to work things out, discuss or even ,yes, argue in a health manner. I was never allowed to express my feelings, talk about my issues or concerns. Looong story. So in internalized my feelings and eventually my body started reacting to all that emotional baggage in an unhealthy manner. When my teens hit it only got worse with hormones. By then I’d shut down and refused to allow myself to feel. Queue more physical pain.
Obviously I grew up in an unsaved family.
It’s taken me over 30 years since receiving Christs gift to give all of that to God fully and receive healing. St 54 I’m still learning how to process emotions, communicate with my husband, allow myself to feel and understand what I’m feeling and not be controlled by those feelings.
So weird to see Mike Wingers legs. Not because the legs are weird. I just haven't seen his legs before.
what great advice...there's always an impartial, "third party" in your relationship calling you to higher things on "behalf" of your spouse, and ultimately to honor Him...
So grateful that my marriage is so wonderful.
May God be praised and bless the example that you are to other couples.
we fought virtually our whole marriage almost every day. I regret not being able to control my own frustrations in front of our kids. we didn't have the option of going to our rooms and fighting quietly due to my husband's hearing loss. We have been married over 40 yrs because of both our commitment to marriage and our willingness to keep working on it. I truly surrendered it to the Lord and, because I'm less willing to engage, we don't fight near as much. we also had rules of never calling names or threatening divorce.
Such good teaching Mike. Amazingly well said and so encouraging.
The problem is people don't realize marriage is hard work, they think is all easy and fun.
I love this! I believe this can even be applied to romantic relationships that come before marriage
Except if either partner is asking how they can get out because they only argue BEFORE marriage, that is probably an indication there are some big issues that need to be settled before the vows are said. If I were that unhappy in a dating relationship, I would personally end it and spend time with myself and God for a while. No one needs that kind of constant stress, and if you’re not married, there’s so few reasons to endure it…
That would be called fornication
@@endtimewarrioress What are you talking about? Didn’t mention anything about pre-marital sex…
@@jenv6846 when you said romantic relationship that's why I thought.
@@endtimewarrioress It's important to remember that romance and sex are not the same thing. If there is no romance in the dating phase, I can't imagine why those two people would even get married in the first place. The same with intimacy. Intimacy and sex are not the same. It is totally a Western & Christian worldview that mixes the three into one. Sex before marriage is against God's will for our lives and therefore sin. Intimacy and romance create the conditions for two people to come closer together and desire marriage in the first place. Without them, marriages will fail and big problems will arise.
I have spent 32 years in a emotionally abusive marriage. I have felt like a second class citizen in this family. I have been told that I cannot be a part of disciplining my children. I have been horrifically verbally abused when my daughter was doing drugs, my husband took it out on me. I have been sexually neglected from my husband. I started sleeping in my own room about seven years ago because he wanted nothing to do with me. I have prayed for 32 years. Narcissist can change if they want to. He does not he is claimed to be a Christian and saved three times, it’s still has not changed him. He still drinks smokes pot and abuses me my daughter is a living mess because of it and now we are raising my granddaughter. We have adopted her and I’m taking her with me. She’s seven years old and I’m praying that I have a chance to change how she views what a man is supposed to be like as a husband, this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I had to do it to survive
I’m sorry but sometimes the decision to leave a marriage has nothing to do with religion even if your Christian. Sometimes a person can’t mentally handle anymore. I know a Christian woman who was literally driven to almost committing suicide because of the mental/emotional abuse from her husband. Sometimes you have to go to save yourself. Christian or not.
Well Mike Winger holds the stance that abuse might be a Biblically justified reason to leave a marriage
@@connorrhunterUK *might* lol that’s too much grey area for me. I just unsubscribed from this channel.
@@_anon_4532 which video made you subscribing in first place? I‘m curious.
@@_anon_4532 well firstly, not everything is black and white. Secondly, maybe listen to his opinion before making up your mind. Don’t take my fallible word for it
In a marriage, an unequally yoked one, you have the believing spouse and the unbelieving spouse. The goal of the believing spouse is to get the unbelieving spouse to God while the unbelieving spouse goal is to destroy the spirit of God in the believing spouse and since the unbelieving spouse has demons they do take their toll but if the believing spouse is not fully in Christ to recognize that let alone know how to a
combat that, then yeah even suicidal thoughts emerge because the demons in the unbelieving spouse obviously are winning.
People leave marriages for unbiblical reasons because they are not trying it the Lord's way they are trusting in themselves until that doesn't work and then they want to tap out and people like you looking at a situation like that support the reason in how leaving a marriage is legitimate based off the fact that a self professing Christian really didn't believe in 1st Corinthians 7:15 to follow through or know other scriptures that could have helped her endured her unsaved husband because Jesus from the Bible shows us how to handle misery and demons and sometimes its reaping we have sown amd sometimes he allows it to test, mold and refine us to overcome but you want overcome anything if you don't want to go through anything or without God you yourself try to handle a unequally yoked marriage by what you think.
I can honestly say that by the grace of God my wife and I have never had a "fight." Meaning that we have never have disagreement in the direction of our family. We have been angry with each other because of what I define as "unrealized expectations." She expected one thing and I expected something else. For soon to be 37 years, we have never wavered from our family life goal. For that I praise the Lord.
On the point of taking yourself out of the argument - a question I'm trying to figure out now is how do we bring up issues to our spouse to try to make the situation better.. (without arguing or undermining anyone's dignity) I think this is important to discuss, too.
Being committed and sacrificing yourself for a marriage shows strength and devotion. But I think communicating your needs is also important to iron out fixable issues or even misunderstandings. My spouse can't read minds after all. And I don't think I need to make myself a bigger martyr than needed on purpose, if I don't tell him what I need or in what ways I'm struggling.
You are going to have to go through what you don't want to. In an unequally yoked marriage the believing spouse is there to save the unbelieving spouse while the unbelieving spouse is there to refine the believing spouse.
You don't want to be the martyr as you put it but being a believer is all about dying to yourself. You don't want to go through unpleasantness but how will you ever grow and overcome if you fear going through anything.
Your spouse might bite your head off in addressing your feelings with them, they might ripe your heart in pieces too but you have to go through that with love and grace you have to find out if you even have that. You are there to bring them to Christ and it want be easy but they are to refine you and its what the Lord is allowing because he wants to mold you but you have to be willing to go through the test, the unpleasant ones. God bless.
@@endtimewarrioress Thanks for the advise! I agree that a marriage is in a way making a person grow and learn to do hard things. My husband is a Christian, too. Definitely better one than me. My issue is more of the nature that I've grown up as a people pleaser, have a hard time expressing my human needs and can't take it when people don't like what I have to say. Also I don't' want to hurt him with criticism. But at the same time I don't want to suppress my emotions and not share my feeling and struggles with him, and grow bitter and numb. I know as Christians we need to be the bigger person. But I'm also trying to find the courage and tools to communicate better, in the occasions where there is a fixable issue. I don't think communicating your needs is necessarily selfish, especially if both partners do it. And in a way I think it can make both of you grow together.
@@Agnestastic if you are dominated more obeying your flesh you need to more spiritual muscles. Do you have children?
@@endtimewarrioress Тhat's a personal question I would not like to discuss on the internet. Spirituality is really important, but to give an example - what if I'm hungry, my husband has food. And instead of communicating to him that I need food, I decide to be spiritual and not eat for the rest of my life? Doesn't mean I have to argue or fight my husband to take the food, but I can tell him what I need. That's basically what I mean.
@@Agnestastic that makes no sense what you just about the hungry thing and I respect your privacy but if you have kids and you saw them stumbling to the point where it was leading into fatal destruction would you be on the fence of interjecting yourself with should I or shouldn't I step in or speak up to tell them or because you love them and see the state they are in headed into danger will you without hesitation step in interjecting yourself to avoid them from destruction?
There is a reward in heaven for the spouse that endures and returns good for evil and reflects grace and forgiveness to the one sinning and show the Gospel to them and the world.
So, when I got married, my wife had been a Christian, but I had not, so we didn't really go to church. I left for six months (I was in the military), and she cheated. When I found out, part of the recovery was that we would start going to church. And I got saved. But when I had to go on another deployment, she was a totally different person, and by the time I came back from my second deployment, she was openly heretical and anti-Christian. I took it for ten years, but I noped out.
That’s why cheating is a reason for divorce. Sex is so much more than emotional & physical. It has consequences good or bad, depending if it is your spouse or not
@@Robin-sf3gk cheating a reason for divorce? Verse please
@@wendymtzc Matthew 19:9
You said she cheated before you worked it out but became antichristian which was your deal breaker that's not biblical grounds for opting out. Jesus still hasn't held a grudge when you were once antichristian he was faithfully there when you came to him you must extend the same grace and love to now your fallen wife who I really question if she was even saved to begin with.
I'm sorry, but you said she was a Christian. It sounds like she never truly was. It sounds like she was a false convert even when you got married.
As a survivor of abuse it hurts me when i hear people ending their marriages over minor issues vs actual abuse. I would have been grateful for a spouse that just annoys me and is imperfect vs abusive.
I'm married to Jesus. Always peaceful 💚💚
Cute, but not biblical. We are called to serve Christ through serving others. If you can't serve your man who you can see how can you sever God whom you can't.
claiming you're the wife of Jesus...not arrogant at all
@@dfpolitowski2 I'm sorry, did I miss something? Did she say she was married to a man at any time?
A couple of weeks ago my husband made an off handed comment that might have led to a fight, but for some reason my response was to say, not today satan and there was no fight. The realization that satan uses little comments to stir us up was a great reminder and something I want to work on saying more in those situations.
That was really good. But how much more should our hearts break, how much love, devotion and honour we should have for those who those who do imitate Jesus' obedience and sacrifice.
Your heart should break as many times, your love should steady exist as well as your devotion and honor because that's how God is with us and we haven't always been good to him. In fact we are not worthy at all of a love and faithfulness that he has for us so how dare we show different to others who aren't good to us. You have to extend the same grace and love to those just as Jesus does with us. If you do not extend grace it will not be given to you. Pray unto the Lord to give you that grace to transform your heart and renew your mind. Ask for a heart like his to love what he loves and hates what he hates. God bless.
For so long Christian women have been choosing husbands that do not love them as Christ loved the Church. Now, we are fallen and in need of sanctification after salvation, so I am not saying women should reject a man who isn’t perfect (God knows she isn’t either), but I am saying that Christian women need to be far more highly selective and choose a man they could willingly submit to based on his willingness to sacrifice himself in order to love, honor, and protect her as his mission from God. And she had better be willing to come alongside him to support and develop him in his mission. That does not mean she has to live under abuse. It does mean she might need to be less afraid of not marrying.
I wish someone would have given me that advice.
We marry almost at the drop of a hat. Is it any wonder that we are struggling?
I'm not married but I've always seen the idea of marriage as borrowing your spouse from God for a bit as in God is lending them to you for a time. So take care of and respect them because they belong to God not you and at some point you have to return them in the same state in which you got them.
Great Reminder Brotha👊
Thanks Mike. 😊 I needed this wisdom nugget reminder. God bless.
I have been through all of this. My current wife and I live in separate houses and love it this way. It is like permanent dating. It gets rid of all the negative in the relationship.
I’ve been through Christian counseling multiple times. Everything is blamed on the man. Just like the secular world. Women are never held accountable in Western society anywhere. Paul had it right that it is better to stay single.
I hate marriage. my husband was my "SAVIOR" from a life of exotic dancing, prostitution and abuse. He took me to church and I gave up that lifestyle within a month of dating. but Shortly after that, he started abusing me. I've been pregnant over 10 times by him with only 4 living babies ( the rest he claimed wasnt his, so I aborted). I recently found out after 10 years of marriage he had and affair. I almost killed him. now I'm trying to figure out how to get out. he claims he wants the marriage, but actions speak louder than words. hes doing nothing to fight for the marriage. I'm so ashamed, embarrassed and angry. I need deliverance
I'm so sorry, I completely understand your anger. Separating for a time might be the answer. He needs to understand that controlling you (by insisting on abortion)and betrayal (affairs) are both grounds for divorce. He needs to apologize and ask forgiveness
@@Ranbowriter this marriage is not the same as Christ and the church. I have been very patient with him after all 5 of the A's
ABANDONMENT
ABORTION
ABUSE
ADULTERY
ADDICTION
His addiction to marijuana has caused him to abandon, abuse and now the adultery. we dont have married godly couples in our lives to pour into us. I rely on youtube for motivation. I feel like giving up on everything.
Hi. My heart hurts for you so much! I can only imagine your pain, but I was in an abusive marriage and felt that was enough grounds for a divorce (my young son had to pull his dad off of me before). My mom and uncle grew up watching my grandparents fight and cheat for decades and they’ve had mental trauma from it, so I didn’t want to do that to my son and got a divorce. The legal side took a few years because of COVID, but by the time the divorce was legally finalized I was immediately remorseful because I had come to realize marriage IS a gift from God regardless. I’m still conflicted because now I feel I can never remarry and have a true chance. Also, I can’t help but wonder how things would have turned out if we stayed separated and didn’t go through with the divorce (we separated for 2 years prior and actually started getting along). I listened to worldly views of people telling me that it wouldn’t stay better and he’d go back to being an abusive bum if we moved back in (I was the sole provider). But the truth is my son is angry because he doesn’t live with both parents and I feel a great remorse every day that I broke-up something God brought together, even if there was impurity in the marriage. There was impurity on my side as well, so I won’t say my ex is to blame.
Sorry for my long story. What I’m trying to say is please consider a separation for some time…I know it’s hard to understand (and it feels like the grass would be greener on the other side), but divorce is an inexplainable pain. I thought I’d feel liberated, but I feel empty and remorseful. God heals all wounds though. God bless and I hope God will show you the way!
@@sapphirelane1714 thank you...its gd to hear others story. especially during this time.
I have been married to a middle Eastern Orthodox Christian for 44 years! It is only now that I feel I can understand him! I see him for what he is and except him ! Acceptance is the secret! I still don’t feel completely accepted by him but My own acceptance is now enough! It’s hard to explain, maybe I have more self confidence! But I enjoy it! I am 76 and he is 88! I realize how little time we have left and maybe it makes me appreciate everything!
Marriage is easy as long as ur not married to an abusive narcassist,..love & respect each other & together you conquer situations as a team,...because you have become one.
Or asperger who is passive, unmotivated, non-driven, anti-social, anti-crowd, selfish, inflexible, stick to routine, non-communicative, messy, clueless, lazy, a slacker, a hoarder, has anti-growth traits, lacks of executive functioning, mindless, has cannot-do attitude, incompetent, incapable, has eating disorder (but refuses to see that causes problems!)
I met the person I've been waiting for over the past 5 years, just to find out that is not what I want, and I want a Christian man who wants abstain until marriage because he is like me and fears God. I told him we are looking for different things, and it was hard, but I know things could end up just like this woman. It's about choosing the correct person as well..
When should the church just show compassion and understanding to a long suffering spouse and just give support in leaving? The church IS supposed to discern and make judgments. There are situations where the kind and right thing for the church to do is to support someone who finally makes the decision to leave.
GOOD GOD!! I 100% agree. It seems to me that the answer to the question Can two walk together except they be agreed is NO in EVERY INSTANCE except when it comes to MARRIAGE! This is such RUBBISH! It is because people don't KNOW GOD nor what he DELIGHTS IN is why they keep teaching these falsehoods that has pressured many men and women in particular into staying in marriages where CLEARLY there is no ONENESS. I definitely believe that some people take marriage too lightly and chose to discard it at the first sign of trouble but then I believe as well that there are people who make marriage to be MORE THAN what God intended it to be. NO ONE should seek to ENDURE in a marriage where there is habitual cheating, abuse and neglect. God DOES NOT WANT THIS FOR YOU and you better not say so!
You only want validation for leaving ironically many churches support divorce and adultery. Let me ask you something. Should Jesus who has been long suffering with you, leave you and take his love and grace and mercy away from you?
Only on the grounds of the need for safety. When there’s habitual abuse, sexual immorality, swindling, drunkenness, verbal abuse (reviling), etc. See 1Cor 5:9-13, 6:9-10, Gal 5 which speak on Jesus’ words in Mark about what defiles a person:
Mark 7:20-23 (ESV) 20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
When the heart of someone is *practicing* these things they are to be removed from the body. Separation is not divorce though. Divorce should be last resort for those who need the legal protection from an unsafe spouse. Unsafe takes on emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical factors. An emotionally unsafe person isn’t just an “annoying” person. They gaslight which means causing you to doubt reality and what you know coupled with blame, projection, manipulation, often “love bombing” mixed with betrayal (including but not limited to adultery) and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde behaviors (this is not meant to refer to only men).
Seeking one’s own “happiness” is not in the sphere of being unsafe by any stretch of the imagination. This should never be supported. Normal marriage conflict is a far cry from the conflict that occurs in abusive relationships, yet it is often mistaken for it. Separating for the purpose of distance to heal with the sole focus on doing the joint work of restoration should be the protocol if the contention is constantly tearing open the wounds. Only then can one gain some clarity as to what the root issues are. If one spouse is not willing then restoration is impossible, but divorce is still not the go-to option. If you are able to live separate and remain safe (physically and financially) without divorce then that is what is biblically supported. If the spouse leaves you and divorces you without due cause (as in adultery, control and abuse etc) then you are in a sense free…yet how free you are is determined by the LORD.
@@endtimewarrioress your assessment is massively presumptive. You know nearly nothing from this persons comment and absolutely nothing about who they are to make such a claim. I’ve seen many of your comments condemning others for the same thing. You are behaving with a wrong judgement just as exhibited by the friends of Job. Pride is being your guide. May the LORD bring forth humility in your heart. He does not speak as you do.
@@Gracenglory5 um when a person says for the long suffering of a marriage churches should support a person leaving. A person who knows the Bible knows long suffering is not grounds for divorce so how is that presumptuous?
The Lord God is long suffering with us has he divorced us yet? A person who is not happy worn out by an unequally yoked partner heartfully they want out abd they want and need someone to say "yeah you should leave" when they would only divorce for non biblical reasons headed straight for adultery so I don't know how you got massively presumptuous from that?
I thank God for this message that I happened to find, it's really helping because it's completely changing perspectives that I had. I have been so hurt and frustrated in our marriage and we are both believers but it just feels like my husband isn't showing care and love like I think a Christian should. This is so tough... but I do praise God for this message because even that perspective that the Lord is Lord of my marriage and am I going to obey Him? It's huge to hear these things because our culture says such an opposite message. I've had to stop the video 3 times now and cry buckets of tears😭...out of pain but also surrender... This message is so vital, thank you immensely
My sister had a husband who wouldn’t get out of bed. It went from bad to worse. He wouldn’t go before the elders. She divorced. She remarried a great man. All her kids now are thriving, where at that time all of them were drowning, drugs, sex, cutting etc. I don’t get what you’re saying. How possibly could staying with him make sense?
How could killing the Son of God, the holy of holies, the perfect man, redeem me, a sinner? I don't know, but it is the case. You do not know God's thoughts, you do not know his ways. He uses all things according to his purpose.
Jesus' teaching on marriage is that it is considered ongoing before God if there has not been any adultery on either parties part. That is to say, there has been no cheating. There aren't any other reasons he gives why God would consider a marriage he has brought together to be finished (I.e. divorce is invalid unless it is for adultery). So Mike has to preach the Word, and the Word is that marriage can only be annulled because of adultery.
However God is merciful, he is kind, he is just. Many of us live in adulterous marriages, and yet he blesses those marriages. Many of us live in oppressive marriages that don't have any cheating going on but still are very unpleasant - he blesses those people who choose to end their marriage without proper justification, like he did for your sister.
Just because your sister is blessed in her position now, does not justify her behaviour as good and honourable. It is not good to unite yourself sexually with a man that is not your husband, or a woman who is not your wife. Jesus clearly teaches that unless there was infidelity, your sister is still married to her previous husband and is engaging in sinful adultery by sleeping with another man. Jesus is dealing with her sin just as much as he deals with ours, so there's no judgement from Mike or any one else that is relevant before God, before Jesus. It's between your sister and Jesus, it's none of our business. Jesus dealt with her sin on the cross. Shed his blood, broke his body, so that she could be free of her sin.
Praise Jesus, love his kindness, love his mercy, and follow him! Do not worry about things that don't concern you!
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8
JM H These so-called 'men/ministers of God' know A LOT of SCRIPTURES but they KNOW and UNDERSTAND VERY LITTLE if anything about GOD himself who said in Jeremiah 9 : 23, 24 is what someone should boast/rejoice/ glory in. Not knowing and understanding God is the BIGGEST PROBLEM in Christendom today as it was with the children of Israel.
With respect to this topic in particular, it seems to me that the answer to the question Can two walk together except they be agreed is NO in EVERY INSTANCE except when it comes to MARRIAGE! This is such RUBBISH! It is because people don't KNOW GOD nor what he DELIGHTS IN is why they keep teaching these falsehoods that has pressured many men and women in particular into staying in marriages where CLEARLY there is no ONENESS. I definitely believe that some people take marriage too lightly and chose to discard it at the first sign of trouble but then I believe as well that there are people who make marriage to be MORE THAN what God intended it to be. NO ONE should seek to ENDURE in a marriage where there is habitual cheating, abuse and neglect. God DOES NOT WANT THIS FOR YOU and you better not say so!
What religion is your sister?
I think he might be saying to go before God before making any decisions and He will direct your Path, not that we must just stay married and be miserable. Some people just fall out of love and want to move on when it's not what God desires. Go before God and He will direct your path. Its the safest way to do anything.
Mike, when you minster on marriage it has always been a blessing.
You did a sermon a while back and you talked about how when you love someone you act first. Another about when your spouse is at their worst, that is our time to show the love of Christ.
You say plenty that can reach someone who is thinking "maybe I just want to be single again"
I would never have left my marriage because I want to follow God, but your teachings helped to better understand what a biblical marriage is and that has been a blessing to my husband and I. I love my husband more deeply and am not as stuck on the belief that he needs to give as much as I think I give him. And because we are more intent on blessing each other, we actually more clearly see what the other does do and appreciate it properly.
People tell us from the outside how lucky we are and how we have a perfect marriage and I try to bless them how your sermons have blessed us.
We survived the first year of our baby, which I'm told is meant to be the hardest on a marriage and our relationship didn't suffer one bit.
Do your needs get met at all and if no do you just ignore it??
My husband attacked my son Who is his stepson and in the proces because i stood in his way i got wounded. I dont feel safe with him in the house. I dealt with all the cheating but violence is something else.
I'm so sorry to hear what you and your son have gone through. You and your son are both worth protecting and no house can be a home if you're not safe within its walls. Please search for help, get out if you can. Ask yourself: Is it healthy to stay in an unhealthy relationship or environment?
My heart goes out to you 💞😔
What does your son's father have to say about the situation?
@@ThatClassic70sGirl my sons father abandoned him and had not spoken to him for more than a decade.
I think that was a beautiful summarization of what marriage is truly about, and how we're to honor Christ through our marriage and virtually all that we do. "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of GOD." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Marriage needs commitment by both parties. I agree that you should not give up on it without a fight. But You should not cling to a terrible selfish partner. So choose wisely to begin with.
Sometimes I feel like that. Like why should I keep fighting if my partner doesn't seem to care? And then I remember that I am a terrible, selfish partner and Jesus clings to me. So if the worse I have to suffer on this side of heaven is a difficult spouse, that much really hasn't been asked of me considering the eternal weight of glory that is coming when I go to see the Father
@@brandi5326 that’s good and well but some people can’t hang on any longer. Sometimes your mental and emotional health can only stand so much toxicity from a selfish partner.
The person is selfish because he/ she doesn’t know God truly. So your heart should cry for the person and go in prayer with that heart cry ( not out of frustration/ irritation) but a genuine desire that they come to know of His love .
@@_anon_4532 I hear you. And I wouldn't advise just anyone to walk that walk in a glib and superficial way. There are some things that are totally super natural. You can't do it in your own strength and if you try it can wreck you. But with the power of the Holy Spirit working in you you can be with a very selfish self centered person and be okay cuz His joy will undergird you as your strength. I'm speaking from experience. Wanted out A LOT at first but wanted to do what God said more, and interestingly enough, I see change happening with me and my spouse too
@@brandi5326 Well, I'm talking about being married to a Jezebel, Ahab, Nabal, Herodias, Athaliah, and many other terrible people. God's mercy and love are boundless. The problem arises when our free will leads us to some terrible consequences.
Beautifully said. Fixing your eyes on Jesus. 👌