My dad, when I was a teen, wanted me to use my late great grandmother’s money left to me to pay for my brother’s braces. When I choose to buy a car, he became awful toward me. Turns out the $4k was actually $10k and he spent $6k on his own debts. A bad dad is the worst.
@@jill9606Oh, boo hoo hoo! You’re sooo dramatic. I’m sure he recovered just fine. His dad taught him an important lesson about trust. Don’t trust anyone. At least he didn’t beat him to death. Bahahahahahaha!! This situation happens a lot in families. It’s certainly not unheard of. Maybe that money kept a roof over their head. Don’t be so judgmental.
@@chrisnanopoulos9905 Ew, I can’t believe you said that in public. Saying “at least he wasn’t beaten to death” is the absolute most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not dramatic. That isn’t a ton of money, but it’s the deception and manipulation that sickens me. I would have a hard time ever trusting him again if that were my dad.
@@jill9606 Get over it, you fool. This is nothing compared to what some kids experience in their lives. It’s a reality check that you don’t want to talk about or deal with. Ignoring it honey, and being ignorant doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s about perspective and realizing you actually didn’t have it as bad as you thought you did.
Yup! That's my dad alright. tried multiple time to scam me and my brother, always said he will do this and he will do that and never does, but he tells you he loves you! I cut him out of my life and life has been beautiful!
What was the idea behind paying your dad the cash instead of directly paying the loan. Even if 100% he would pay it and whatever, why go through the headache of exchanging money in and out.
How is it a headache to sign over a tuition reimbursement check to your dad who is standing in front of you? If he had the account number and information it would be just as easy to pay it himself, i agree, but the dad is a loser so of course he said “just give me the money..i’ll pay it.” He got conned by his dad as a kid who trusted him.
The problem usually is they are so toxic and controlling … they run you down to your entire family - and you lose everyone of your family members. That’s how narcissists operate. Happened to me, my father bullied his way into my small design company- took control of the banking and accounts, and stole hundreds of thousands. Then fled overseas - and bad mouthed ME to all my family and made them choose sides. That was 18 years ago.
I had a tenant one time who embezzled her granddaughter's college fund. And no, she sure didn't pay any rent with the money.... moved out owing thousands. The world is full of low-quality people, unfortunately.
I just posted that exact thing. Pay mom in cash, yes, because she gave you cash, but dad didn't put out any money at all. Why pay him cash? It doesn't make sense.
@@AllynHin Youthful naivite. He paid the mother and used the same procedure for the father. I guess he was like, I get the reimbursement, send each parent their share and in the end my father will pay down the full loan amount and I will not have to look it up, how much I got reimbursed. It was a bit weird to do it that way - but if the father would not be a scumbag it could have worked. People usually only start to pay down student loan after graduation (even if they would have the money).
My dad did it.....I was 18/19 years old and had just got into college....my dad took $700 from me and told me he would give it back when he got his worker's comp settlement check.....fast forward to when I got married, he "borrowed" $1500 from my husband....it's been 9 years and still haven't seen that money
I remember I was told years ago that my grandmother had several hundred thousand dollars in Bell telephone stock. She instructed my dad to save it for my brother and myself. Unfortunately, there were was no written trust or contract. Only a verbal agreement. And as the story goes, my dad and stepmom spent it all on houses and trips.
@@Jackaroo.morally speaking, I don’t see how that’s any different than stealing from your kid. If I give you $10 to give to your son, and you spend it on yourself instead, did you not just steal your sons $10?
My dad wants me to take out a 20 grand loan to get involved in his business that doesnt profit. He is 150,000 dollars in debt and thinks I'm to stupid to realize he is trying to use me to get him out of the financial shithole he created for himself.
These people need Jesus. I’m so sad so many people have been screwed over by their dads. I’m grateful to have a normal dad and that I have a husband who would never do this to his kids. Pure selfishness reigns in this world today. God help us.
I'd plan my finances as if he'll never pay, but start him on a payment plan with the added interest you now have to pay. You can keep a relationship with him as Dave suggests, but you can no longer ever trust him with anything, effectively treating him like a child.
My sons father cleaned out his bank account a couple of months before his 18th birthday and now wonders why he’s been cut out of his life. Should’ve seen how upset my son was when he discovered there was only a few cents in the account 😢
I understand the pain of a parent cheating you. I purchased a farm in 1991 to be paid off in 5 years with my mother. After paid off we were to split up property. After paid off went to get my property separated to build a house my mother sold my property and cheated me out of more than $100,000. Never again I have no relationship with her. Some people have no moral compass. We had no legal documentation so never trust anyone when it comes to money.
I don't understand this. So you were introduced to your mom up to this point? You knew she was morally bankrupt so why would you throw money for this endeavor?
@ernieellan5694 well I honestly didn't dream this would happen 😕 but I did not have a crystal ball. Not everyone wins the parent lottery. I certainly didn't.
My mom cleaned out my sister's bank account, then lost the money. She spent money on worthless crap. Lots of money. I straightened out her finances and she hated me for it. Some parents are worthless. Tina, Al's wife
We cut off my in-laws for behavior that included this sort of thing. Besides the mental and emotional abuse, the only time I could believe the would follow through was after they actually did.
My father in law wouldn’t work a steady job he would only do odd c/m jobs and construction enough to halfway pay bills and lived on food stamps because he wouldn’t work and support his 4 kids and one daughter he had from an affair..and me and my hubby his son always worked 9-5 jobs to make a living like half the world and he always said he’s never work a 9-5 job but what was so funny was he always borrowed money from my husband and I told him it’s funny how you won’t work a 9-5 job but you sure have no qualms about asking for money from people who do..lol..may his lazy self rest in peace, lol
She needs to get her husband to agree to not providing further financial support to the father in law until the debt is paid back. The debt itself is sunk cost now.
I had my own mom lie and try to tell me I said I was going to put away $50 for her, what a world we live in. I know for sure she lied, but it is alright. I know what I am dealing with. Thanks for reminding me I need to keep my word more.
I understand why they paid his mom back with cash. I don't understand why they gave his dad cash when they should have been putting that cash on the student loan that was in the son's name. Why give the money to his dad when his dad doesn't have anything to do with the loan? That doesn't make any sense to me. Just attack the loan to get it out of your life, and never believe anything the father ever says again. You can love him and still not trust him to do what he says.
Yes, that was weird, they could have put the money aside in an account to have it ready when "dad" is going to pay when the loans are due. Lighten his burden because the son did good and got reimbursed for tuition. Note how the son was eager to do the right thing. I guess he trusted his dad and by sending him the money right away after he was reimbursed for tuition, he did not have to keep the files. So the father only had to pay what was open in the end and they would be done.
Totally! Why would he not have gone directly to the bank to make his own payments? I feel like there’s some missing information here. Maybe it was a student loan, but not a Student Loan, if you get my meaning.
@@createone100 I do think it was a legit Student Loan. From what other people have said, I think the son just blindly believed what his dad told him and his naive 18-yr-old mind didn't question it. The caller even made a comment about how things are different now that she's in the picture. I think when the caller saw what was happening between her husband and her FiL, she put a stop to it but the damage had already been done.
I did a business deal with my closest brother and it’s structured in a way that he could steal $40,000 from me pretty easily. I told him if he does, I’ll get another $40,000 in a year, but he’ll never get another brother. A year in, no money has been stolen and I don’t believe any will be.
Just buried a Dad who was like this. No character and selfish beyond words. I feel bad but the holidays are so much less stressful without worrying about what he is going to pull next. My heart goes out to anyone with a parent like this. It is a betrayal that goes deep.
I eat scraps just to stash money away for my kid and it makes me happy to do that but I think most parents are that way. Sad that there are 'parents' like this guy's dad out there
I feel for the son but don’t understand why he didn’t apply the money directly to the loan vs sending the money to his father? He had to know what a twerp his father was.
Actually he didn't know. He was a young adult, the financial irresponsibility most likely showed up in the marriage, so his mother would know. On the other hand it is possible that the father got worse after divorce. The only "excuse" if you will is that the father may have addiction problems. Then all morality goes out of the window. Which means an addicted person must be viewed like a vile scammer and all interactions must be based on that. Yep, they would steal the phones or other valuables during a visit, they will never pay back the money they borrow, and yes it is possible that they will secretly open a credit card in your name and hope that you will not involve authorities (it is a federal crime, but family members OFTEN get away with it, because the relatives and children shy away from getting the parent into prison). Dave had callers that were dealing with that. One mother ruining the credit of her daugther. She got credit cards in the name of the daughter who then was still a teenager and of course the mothergave a false date of birth (all of that is a federal crime). And of course never paid it back. Daughter had no idea, and only found out when she was a young adult. She had the choice between getting her mother into a criminal investigation with possible jail time and even MORE costs (then she would not have to pay and her credit score would be restored) and paying the few thousand dollars down and protecting the criminal mother. And of course the daughter has to have an eye on the credit cards that are issued in her name, in case the mother pulls such a stunt again. And there was the caller whos grandmother had done the same.
Not nearly the same amount but the hurt lingered long after the fact. When I was in 2-3 grade we had a program at the school where we could bring in our pennies, nickels, dimes, etc. and they schoold would deposit it into a savings account for each of us. At this point in time my parents broke up. I remember my dad telling us that he needed to borrow the money and he would pay us back (my older brother and sister). I onlu had around $2 in my account. Total for the three of us maybe $10. This was about 60 years ago, but even then that much doesn't go far. Never saw our money again. Didn't see much of him again. I saw him when I was 14 and when I was 17. I am now 68 and he died a few years ago. Guys like him don't have kids mourning a dad like that. Parent's who don't keep their promises are the worst along with ambsent fathers. 51 years I went and never saw him from the time I was 17 and just out of hs.
And they are the ones in the nursing facility crying about how their kids abandoned them. Most of those are actually crap people. There’s a reason they are alone
I'm really glad Dave didn't suggest suing him. They'd just get a piece of paper (a judgment) that says he owes the money with no way to enforce it against a deadbeat like this 'father' which would make them feel even worse.
I’m curious to know whether the parents splitting the cost of college was a family court order pursuant to the dissolution. If so, he violated it. The judge can order him to make payments, and put him in jail for contempt if he doesn’t.
@@shea455 She said the parents agreed to split the cost. That may be reduced to a court order.The VERBAL agreement was for the dad to pay the son’s loan off. There may be a family court order for him to pay half of the son’s tuition, in which case he violated it in a very calculated and circuitous manner, deserving of a finding of contempt.
It is not only that the father failed to pay for the college education. He STOLE from his son. The son got his tuition reimbursed. And the did not keep the money, he passed on half of it to his mother (who gave him money on a regular base, so she kept her promise) and half of it he gave to his father (while the father had not yet paid anything, but there is no interest on student loans, they are only due a few months after graduation (resp. then they have to start paying). Since the father had promised to pay the loan in the end, he was entitled to a part of the reimbursement or to getting the outstanding amount reduced. The son should have put the money on an account that he controlled, and let the father know it would be available when the loans were due, resp. the son should have paid that amount himself. Of course the son - showing integrity - had no idea his father would steal from him.
@@franziskaniif the father doesn’t have the money - there’s nothing that can be done. The son is young enough, knuckle down, pay it off - and never look back. The father is the one that will lose out - he’ll be a lonely desperate old man I’m sure, and you better to not have any relationship from here on.
My FiLdid this to my husband. We didn’t even know until we went to buy a house and the slow payments showed on his credit. By that time his father was deceased and the finance company refused to accept a challenge to the loan validity. It dropped off a couple years later but we were only okay on the house with me as primary and him as secondary
Because his dad took out the loan in his name and said,”just give me the money.. i’ll pay it.” so he could spend the money thinking he’d be able to deal with it later BECAUSE HE’S AN A-HOLE and so cos.
Back when student loans were a check sent to your home address to pay the tuition bill, my FIL took the loan check for my husbands college, forged his signature, cashed it, and gambled it. My husband used like 5 credit cards to pay the semester when suddenly 2 months into the semester, it was discovered that the bill was not paid. So he paid tuition twice. Sadly this wasn't the only time something similar happened to my husband. And in the era of paper loan checks, I heard of this happening to others.
You make $116k and have $62 in debt counting the $17k student loan. Leaves you with $54k. Hustle and bring in $1k more a month you be debt free in less then 2yrs. It's a pain but your income was big enough to be debt free in less then a year before the $17k came into the picture.
Can someone here explain if I'm understanding this correctly: The son takes out a student loan in the son's name. The son then gets a tuition reimbursement. Instead of the son just paying the student loan back, he gives the money to his dad so the dad can repay the student loan? Other than the dad promising to repay the student loan (which occurred before the tuition reimbursement) what is the dad's involvement in the tuition reimbursement?
Dad's involvement was to play a long game to get $17k from his son. And it worked. I would liked to have heard that conversation in which the dad convinced the son to give him the cash and he'd repay the son's loan. Like, how did that conversation go that it made sense for the son to do that?
@@AllynHin The son did the same with the mother and it worked. (mother sent him cash on a regular base and whenever he got tuition reimbursement he split it and sent her her half and the father his half. The son could have kept the reimbursement and mother could have skipped a few of her payments, but they didn't do that either). I guess the son found it easier from an administrative point. I settle the reimbursement issue right now, in the end the father will step up for the full amount when payments are due. He has already gotten his part of the reimbursement. Easy. The son should have put the money aside and paid it himself when payments started to be due and just tell the father what was open. It is possible that the father promoted that plan - because he had a cash flow problem and the money he got from his son was used to solve that. The father is either a compulsive spender, does not work, or he has an addiction problem.
@@franziskani Yes, but the mother gave him cash for his tuition so it makes sense to give her cash back out of his reimbursement. The father never gave him money at all and told him to take out a loan. When the reimbursement came in, it doesn't make sense to give his father cash. It makes sense to put that reimbursement on the loan.
Parents need to quit "promising" to pay their kids' tuition. Many also can't afford to support thier adult children and will dip into thier retirement. Its all so they can brag at thier church friends
Or, just be like my mom and tell people you paid for your kids' college despite not paying anything for your kids' college. Just do that. She never even worked, either. I hate my mom.
I’ve been to many many churches over the years and have never heard anyone bragging about paying their kids college tuition. Maybe the office? That’s not a thing that would even come up in church unless someone was asking for PRAYER about where the money would come from for college tuition(which sounds wacky but that is a thing that people in some churches do.) It’s such a funny thing to imagine. I wonder where you got that idea from.
"This pisses me off a lot"...I expect not only cause it delays the son's moving forward in life, but also cause it screws over family...Dave has respect for his family, and couldn't comprehend doing something like this to his children...people can bad mouth him like "oh he declared bankruptcy"...he knows how hard it is coming back from falling off the cliff, and he learned how NOT to treat your family...and he gets angry seeing a dad, who should have learned not to be self centered, treat his son with so little respect. It really is disgusting to see a son treated that way by someone who is supposed to love him.
Zero excuse not to honour a debt you say you will pay for your child. ZERO. The son needs a fatherectomy. What a piece of garbage. I say this as a parent of two adult children who expect nothing from us, we worked extra to pay half of their post secondary education, and they are forever grateful.
Well, assuming the agreement was reduced to court order in the divorce, there would likely be legal recourse, but a judgment doesn't mean he'll ever see the money. Probably a waste of time to pursue it. I would chalk this up to lesson learned- the lesson being don't be a father like you had.
We're talking about people who would give up if they have to save up for more than a couple of months =before paying off a cent of debt. We're not talking about the full emergency fund, we're only talking about the starter emergency fund
That's the initial contribution to the emergency fund. The point of the $1k is so you don't have to worry about a basic necessity cost. The full emergency fund is 3-6 months of expenses depending on your specific situation.
You haven't looked at the whole process. The initial $1k emergency fund is to cover emergencies while you get out of debt. It helps you to not fall off the wagon (when the hot water heater quits or the car won't start for example) while you're attacking your debts. Once your debts are paid off, you do a fully-funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of your household expenses.
Nope, as long as you have higher interest loans, it does not make much sense to have money sitting around (with little interest). Son and wife have good credit. 1000 USD is for the unexpected expenditures, plus they have money coming in on a monthly base, so they can juggle a bit if they have an unexpected cash flow problem If a lot of things go wrong they can always borrow 4000 USD - if need be on credit cards - and pay it down swiftly. (that's not much interest, if you settle that within 1 month). Mother and son DO have financial integrity. Mother could afford to support him on a regular base during college. He got tuition reimbursement and always sent her 50 % of it (the other half he sent to his scumbag father). People like him always have friends that have a little money aside and people like them do not get into financial trouble (that would be avoidable). If fate strikes big time, 4000 or 10000 USD are not going to save them anyway, then they might need to touch the retirement savings or take out a loan on the house. If they ever have a cashflow problem your friends and family can be the emergency fund and they can do the same for them (and neither of them needs to put a lot of money aside). I have been on the receiving and giving end of "short term help with cashflow. And it always was paid down. (You just need to KNOW the character of the people that borrow money). I also helped out friends with 500 USD and I know they most likely will not be able to pay back. By no fault of their own in financial trouble - those 500 USD will turn out to be a gift most likely. I can afford that, and it does not put a strain on the relationship. Glad to be able to make their burden a bit lighter.
Respect your father but keep him very far away from your financial plans. We aren’t able to even question parents poor character & choices. Distance it is!!! So sad. Pay it and take the L.
They sent cash to the father with the intention that it went towards the loan. Make a police report that the dad stole the money and sue him for fraud.
@@jackiechoate6163 Only 17k of the 62k of debt was from the father student loan situation. The father has nothing to do with them spending more than they make.
I'm confused if the dad had the son take the loans out in his name why did the son send the dad the money to pay it off it the loan was in the son's name. Should have just sent the money to the bank.
@@neutralcommenter7800 maybe it was a parent plus loan but then it wouldn't affect them in buying a house. But still if it was a condition of the divorce to split the kid's college tuition why would he pay either of them back.
The son got a tuition reimbursement. Mother gave him money on a regular base, and whenever reimbursement came in the son gave her half of it. And the other half was meant for the share of the father - only the father had not yet paid anything. Student loans are only due to be paid (starting payments) a few months after graduation. So that the father had not yet paid anything was not suspicious. Not only that the father did not contribute anything to the college education (and this might have been part of the divorce settlement, not only a handshake agreement) - it got worse. The son also sent the father right away his share of the reimbursement. This was the big mistake, son should have kept the money on a separate account and should have paid it himself after graduation. I think the son found it easier to do from an adminstrative point of view. Give the parents their part of the reimbursement right now. Mother continues with the regular assistance (she did !) father will pay the full loan amount - the money that reduced that burden he had already received. No one had to go and look at the old files, etc. If the father would have honored his word it would not matter, that this was a weird arrangement. If the father would at least ! pay back the money he had received from the son ... No he is not a twerp - other names come to mind ....
Why did he send any more to his dad???? The loan was in her husbands name based on the first 30 seconds. While the dad is a bad guy, this is on her husband, it was his loan, he should have paid directly.
Why is it the parents obligation to finance their children’s college education ? If the parents are unable to do it, so be it. Coming from a very large family, we all worked hard to be independent before age 18.
“But if any (man) provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” - 1 Timothy 5:8
So they are blaming the 17k on the dad for not being able to buy a house. But their debt on cars that they didn’t need is not part of the problem. They both need to grow up and be responsible for their actions. If the dad wasn’t sending any payments and they still weren’t married. He should’ve worked on that debt. Trust me it looks like they also went out on the wedding party. And now they are playing victim for 17k. When they have probably spent more than double on their purchases.
Trust is backbone of any relationship. With parents, we are born with trust in them as a survival. It is so hard to not trust your parents. It hurts as it is. Optimism keep thing unclear. I am glad money as tool is yhere to see reality. I guess being grown up is dealing with this kund of heartache.
I can't fathom how people with $180K in student loan debt would buy anything, especially taking out more debt for vehicles. Thats a $2000/month payment for 10 years minimum. Crazy!
Anytime someone asks you to pay for something up front and they will reimburse you, it is B.S. If you want to help them, start with what you can afford to lose. If they pay you back, they've earned your trust.
The relatives would assume that the father had financed the wedding and it would look good for HIM. While he made the young couple pay for it. If he had told them upfront he could not afford to help them finance an nice wedding - he would have lost prestige. (In some communities it is a big thing, that the parents can afford to wed off their children in style). The father in law protected his ego on your dime.
@@Shopgirl1 The father in law is a multi-millionaire several times over. Paid for 2 very expensive college educations for his kids in cash. He practically begged me to have a larger wedding. Culture thing.
This makes no sense. Why would his mom send his money, and he sends her half back, and sends the other half to his father? The loan is in his name. So how did he think that his father would pay it? They make 116k. I would not hold off putting money into a house fund. Stop with the name calling.
It is a little confusing. Unless he needed to pay for the tuition at the beginning of the semester and he earned the money during the semester then paid them back for what they paid. However the father was probably a parent plus loan so when he paid his dad back for upfront money his dad just did a loan.
Why the heck didn't he just pay the loan directly if it was in his name? Makes zero sense, he should have taken care of his own debt instead of passing the responsibility to someone else. Dad is a complete scumbag, but it wouldn't have happened if the husband paid his loan himself.
Keep the car. Dont mess around with older mystery cars. I just got my first new car, and the peace of mind i have for the next 10 years is a huge relief.
He’s going to have to give St. Peter an explanation for every cent he stole from his own blood. Have mirth, for everyone will eventually get back what they put into the world.
Yeah our dad tried to scam us out of 100k with promises of his bitcoin genius. When we asked how much he was investing he said none. He had lost all his money on prior bitcoin investing genius. We said hit the road and die. Never heard from him again it's been 8 years. Maybe he got so rich he forgot all about us.😂
If the father has credit he can always get a loan transfer the amount to his name and be the one on the hook. But Dave will tell you to buy your house cash and save for it.
If dad was that shady to talk the son into getting the loan and then convince the son to give him the cash to pay it back.....and then didn't pay it back, he sure as heck isn't going to take out a loan to make this right. He was playing a long game to get $17k from his son and it worked.
@@AllynHin to bad the son has to figure out his dads a pos. The fact that the kid even gave him the money back and left him on the hook. I got my first loan at 16 and my dad co signed for me. Gave me the speech about becoming a man and paying my bills. The loan was for a car he was selling. Then took that money opened an account at the bank and got a $4500 or $5g loan. Gambled it away then a few months later he’s complaining that they want him to make the payments on the loan. I remember him saying I’m paying the interest they should be happy with that. So from a young age I have always had debt. Been debt free once and now still there. I’m goal is debt free again.
Actually Dave says to save for your down payment and the rest can be a loan, if it is your primary residence. It is when he is talking about buying investment properties, he says cash only.
Doesn’t matter. The Dad lied about the Money, which is the whole point. The Dad putting the impression that he’d pay for it and not doing it was pretty pointless
This is 100% on the dad... The caller even said the dad lives paycheck to paycheck AND also missed payments on his daughter's tuition... This dad is a POS and I agree with Dave 100% on this. What's worse is the son GAVE the money back to his dad at the end of each semester and the Dad DID NOT pay off the student loans with it. That's some major BS right there.
Sounds like the husband is an idiot. Why would you send money home to pay a loan that's in the husband's name? Makes no sense. The father saw a sucker and took advantage!!
This is mom’s fault. In the divorce she put this on the kid instead of getting thing in writing forcing it. She knew her scammer husband wouldn’t do his part.
He stole the money! His son was paying him thinking he was using that money to pay the loan. He’s a straight up thief.
My dad, when I was a teen, wanted me to use my late great grandmother’s money left to me to pay for my brother’s braces. When I choose to buy a car, he became awful toward me. Turns out the $4k was actually $10k and he spent $6k on his own debts. A bad dad is the worst.
I’m so sorry. How did you ever recover a relationship with him after something like that?
@@jill9606Oh, boo hoo hoo! You’re sooo dramatic. I’m sure he recovered just fine. His dad taught him an important lesson about trust. Don’t trust anyone. At least he didn’t beat him to death. Bahahahahahaha!!
This situation happens a lot in families. It’s certainly not unheard of.
Maybe that money kept a roof over their head. Don’t be so judgmental.
@@chrisnanopoulos9905 Ew, I can’t believe you said that in public. Saying “at least he wasn’t beaten to death” is the absolute most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not dramatic. That isn’t a ton of money, but it’s the deception and manipulation that sickens me. I would have a hard time ever trusting him again if that were my dad.
@@jill9606 Get over it, you fool. This is nothing compared to what some kids experience in their lives. It’s a reality check that you don’t want to talk about or deal with.
Ignoring it honey, and being ignorant doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
It’s about perspective and realizing you actually didn’t have it as bad as you thought you did.
@@jill9606Grow up. You have a lot to learn. Reporting comments or deleting them, only adds to your ignorance. A ton of money??? LMAO!!
Yup! That's my dad alright. tried multiple time to scam me and my brother, always said he will do this and he will do that and never does, but he tells you he loves you! I cut him out of my life and life has been beautiful!
Yes cut him out and can't blame you and wish you a lot of happiness and prosperity in your life!!!
What was the idea behind paying your dad the cash instead of directly paying the loan. Even if 100% he would pay it and whatever, why go through the headache of exchanging money in and out.
How is it a headache to sign over a tuition reimbursement check to your dad who is standing in front of you? If he had the account number and information it would be just as easy to pay it himself, i agree, but the dad is a loser so of course he said “just give me the money..i’ll pay it.” He got conned by his dad as a kid who trusted him.
I'd 100% never talk to that person ever again.
Yes, me too. Huge huge violation of trust.
The problem usually is they are so toxic and controlling … they run you down to your entire family - and you lose everyone of your family members.
That’s how narcissists operate.
Happened to me, my father bullied his way into my small design company- took control of the banking and accounts, and stole hundreds of thousands. Then fled overseas - and bad mouthed ME to all my family and made them choose sides.
That was 18 years ago.
I had a tenant one time who embezzled her granddaughter's college fund. And no, she sure didn't pay any rent with the money.... moved out owing thousands. The world is full of low-quality people, unfortunately.
Yes. It is very discouraging. Luckily, there are still some people with morals and integrity.
That's horrible! I don't understand how people do that to someone they are supposed to love (the granddaughter). Hopefully karma was a bitch to her!
I don't understand why he would give his Dad money to make the payments instead of just paying it directly to the loan. It is in his name.
I just posted that exact thing. Pay mom in cash, yes, because she gave you cash, but dad didn't put out any money at all. Why pay him cash? It doesn't make sense.
Yes it was weird from the beginning
@@AllynHin Youthful naivite. He paid the mother and used the same procedure for the father. I guess he was like, I get the reimbursement, send each parent their share and in the end my father will pay down the full loan amount and I will not have to look it up, how much I got reimbursed.
It was a bit weird to do it that way - but if the father would not be a scumbag it could have worked.
People usually only start to pay down student loan after graduation (even if they would have the money).
My thoughts exactly. It doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think we’re getting the whole story.
@@franziskaniThe loan was in the son’s name. He’s doing an extra, unnecessary step. Why not pay it directly?
It really doesn’t make sense to me.
"What type of guy steals $$ from his kid" 🙄😒 I know a few, sadly
I know of MOMS that do this. Sickening
scum bag parents. there are a lot out there.
My dad did it.....I was 18/19 years old and had just got into college....my dad took $700 from me and told me he would give it back when he got his worker's comp settlement check.....fast forward to when I got married, he "borrowed" $1500 from my husband....it's been 9 years and still haven't seen that money
Jeez can't imagine treating my child like that
My father screwed me out of more then 50k......he died alone......some people don't deserve to be called dad
It suck's but very true
Yup. I just finally gave up on my dad
I remember I was told years ago that my grandmother had several hundred thousand dollars in Bell telephone stock. She instructed my dad to save it for my brother and myself. Unfortunately, there were was no written trust or contract. Only a verbal agreement.
And as the story goes, my dad and stepmom spent it all on houses and trips.
He was entitled to it actually, being that it wasn't written in her will. That is a bit different than straight up stealing money from your kid.
Boohoo. Do you still get the houses when your dad passes?
That's tough, but sadly not unheard of.
@@Jackaroo.Not entitled, but legally speaking, he wasn’t bound by law to hand it over.
@@Jackaroo.morally speaking, I don’t see how that’s any different than stealing from your kid. If I give you $10 to give to your son, and you spend it on yourself instead, did you not just steal your sons $10?
I hope the dad reads this..... Go deliver pizzas every night for a year and pay the $17,000 back to your son or you're not even a man sir.
A bit late for that. He was determined to be a scumbag POS years ago.
If I'm not a man, then my son is also not man.
@@galileykwong7017 So you’re defending this pathetic, ratchet, weak, cowardly behavior? Ew. How are you not embarrassed
@@galileykwong7017how are you not embarrassed and ashamed to be defending the dad here?
@@charlesgraves5609 Father knows best.
My dad wants me to take out a 20 grand loan to get involved in his business that doesnt profit. He is 150,000 dollars in debt and thinks I'm to stupid to realize he is trying to use me to get him out of the financial shithole he created for himself.
These people need Jesus. I’m so sad so many people have been screwed over by their dads. I’m grateful to have a normal dad and that I have a husband who would never do this to his kids. Pure selfishness reigns in this world today. God help us.
I'd plan my finances as if he'll never pay, but start him on a payment plan with the added interest you now have to pay. You can keep a relationship with him as Dave suggests, but you can no longer ever trust him with anything, effectively treating him like a child.
He is a child based on his behavior.
My sons father cleaned out his bank account a couple of months before his 18th birthday and now wonders why he’s been cut out of his life. Should’ve seen how upset my son was when he discovered there was only a few cents in the account 😢
Oh my God the betrayal he must have felt. I’m so sorry
@@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 thank you 🤗 I’m making up for it as best I can
I hope karma comes for your son's father for the irreparable hurt he did to those he should have loved and respected 😥
🤦♀️. That's a shame.
So he wrote off his son for what? A few thousand dollars max? Honestly that’s a small (though very painful) price to pay to find out dad’s a scumbag.
I understand the pain of a parent cheating you. I purchased a farm in 1991 to be paid off in 5 years with my mother. After paid off we were to split up property. After paid off went to get my property separated to build a house my mother sold my property and cheated me out of more than $100,000. Never again I have no relationship with her. Some people have no moral compass. We had no legal documentation so never trust anyone when it comes to money.
When it comes to money and property, everybody's a son-of-a-bitch. Words to live by.
Not everyone. Some people LEAVE their kids properties. There are a lot of good parents out there. But there sure are some son’s of bitches too lol.
I don't understand this. So you were introduced to your mom up to this point? You knew she was morally bankrupt so why would you throw money for this endeavor?
@ernieellan5694 well I honestly didn't dream this would happen 😕 but I did not have a crystal ball. Not everyone wins the parent lottery. I certainly didn't.
“It always shows up as a pattern, not a singular event”
My mom cleaned out my sister's bank account, then lost the money. She spent money on worthless crap. Lots of money. I straightened out her finances and she
hated me for it. Some parents are worthless. Tina, Al's wife
We cut off my in-laws for behavior that included this sort of thing. Besides the mental and emotional abuse, the only time I could believe the would follow through was after they actually did.
My father in law wouldn’t work a steady job he would only do odd c/m jobs and construction enough to halfway pay bills and lived on food stamps because he wouldn’t work and support his 4 kids and one daughter he had from an affair..and me and my hubby his son always worked 9-5 jobs to make a living like half the world and he always said he’s never work a 9-5 job but what was so funny was he always borrowed money from my husband and I told him it’s funny how you won’t work a 9-5 job but you sure have no qualms about asking for money from people who do..lol..may his lazy self rest in peace, lol
Similar thing happened to me. This sucks and it’s soo painful
How much ?
My daughter came to me at 18
And asked would I help her with college
Now she has a masters degree and no debt. I’m weird. I paid. LoL
This happen to me, my aunt scammed me, my siblings and several churches.
She needs to get her husband to agree to not providing further financial support to the father in law until the debt is paid back. The debt itself is sunk cost now.
I had my own mom lie and try to tell me I said I was going to put away $50 for her, what a world we live in. I know for sure she lied, but it is alright. I know what I am dealing with. Thanks for reminding me I need to keep my word more.
It’s $50 bro 😂
@@MooMoo69556probably a month
I had to learn the hard way too and my brother tried to tell me. If the bank wouldn't loan them the money why would you?
I understand why they paid his mom back with cash. I don't understand why they gave his dad cash when they should have been putting that cash on the student loan that was in the son's name. Why give the money to his dad when his dad doesn't have anything to do with the loan? That doesn't make any sense to me. Just attack the loan to get it out of your life, and never believe anything the father ever says again. You can love him and still not trust him to do what he says.
Yes, that was weird, they could have put the money aside in an account to have it ready when "dad" is going to pay when the loans are due. Lighten his burden because the son did good and got reimbursed for tuition. Note how the son was eager to do the right thing. I guess he trusted his dad and by sending him the money right away after he was reimbursed for tuition, he did not have to keep the files. So the father only had to pay what was open in the end and they would be done.
Young, and dumb, and trusting of your parent??
Dad probably suggested it. I trusted my parents blindly at 18
Totally! Why would he not have gone directly to the bank to make his own payments? I feel like there’s some missing information here. Maybe it was a student loan, but not a Student Loan, if you get my meaning.
@@createone100 I do think it was a legit Student Loan. From what other people have said, I think the son just blindly believed what his dad told him and his naive 18-yr-old mind didn't question it. The caller even made a comment about how things are different now that she's in the picture. I think when the caller saw what was happening between her husband and her FiL, she put a stop to it but the damage had already been done.
I did a business deal with my closest brother and it’s structured in a way that he could steal $40,000 from me pretty easily. I told him if he does, I’ll get another $40,000 in a year, but he’ll never get another brother. A year in, no money has been stolen and I don’t believe any will be.
Just buried a Dad who was like this. No character and selfish beyond words. I feel bad but the holidays are so much less stressful without worrying about what he is going to pull next. My heart goes out to anyone with a parent like this. It is a betrayal that goes deep.
Its not the first time, nor will it be the last time
I eat scraps just to stash money away for my kid and it makes me happy to do that but I think most parents are that way. Sad that there are 'parents' like this guy's dad out there
Ur kid is lucky to have you
To me I feel a little bit more sorry for the wife. I feel like the situation doesn’t bother the son as much.
I feel for the son but don’t understand why he didn’t apply the money directly to the loan vs sending the money to his father? He had to know what a twerp his father was.
Actually he didn't know. He was a young adult, the financial irresponsibility most likely showed up in the marriage, so his mother would know. On the other hand it is possible that the father got worse after divorce. The only "excuse" if you will is that the father may have addiction problems. Then all morality goes out of the window. Which means an addicted person must be viewed like a vile scammer and all interactions must be based on that.
Yep, they would steal the phones or other valuables during a visit, they will never pay back the money they borrow, and yes it is possible that they will secretly open a credit card in your name and hope that you will not involve authorities (it is a federal crime, but family members OFTEN get away with it, because the relatives and children shy away from getting the parent into prison).
Dave had callers that were dealing with that. One mother ruining the credit of her daugther. She got credit cards in the name of the daughter who then was still a teenager and of course the mothergave a false date of birth (all of that is a federal crime). And of course never paid it back. Daughter had no idea, and only found out when she was a young adult. She had the choice between getting her mother into a criminal investigation with possible jail time and even MORE costs (then she would not have to pay and her credit score would be restored) and paying the few thousand dollars down and protecting the criminal mother. And of course the daughter has to have an eye on the credit cards that are issued in her name, in case the mother pulls such a stunt again.
And there was the caller whos grandmother had done the same.
@@franziskani you could be right. Thank you.
I had to listen to this 4-5 times to fully grasp how messed up this was ……
Not nearly the same amount but the hurt lingered long after the fact. When I was in 2-3 grade we had a program at the school where we could bring in our pennies, nickels, dimes, etc. and they schoold would deposit it into a savings account for each of us. At this point in time my parents broke up. I remember my dad telling us that he needed to borrow the money and he would pay us back (my older brother and sister). I onlu had around $2 in my account. Total for the three of us maybe $10. This was about 60 years ago, but even then that much doesn't go far. Never saw our money again. Didn't see much of him again. I saw him when I was 14 and when I was 17. I am now 68 and he died a few years ago. Guys like him don't have kids mourning a dad like that. Parent's who don't keep their promises are the worst along with ambsent fathers. 51 years I went and never saw him from the time I was 17 and just out of hs.
Never heard of a school doing that. Pretty cool way to teach kids about saving and interest.
omg he did what? I feel so bad for that ugh that is sad
@@sprint7412 It was common in many schools in the late 1950s. I still remember my old bank account number from decades ago!!
And they are the ones in the nursing facility crying about how their kids abandoned them. Most of those are actually crap people. There’s a reason they are alone
I'm really glad Dave didn't suggest suing him. They'd just get a piece of paper (a judgment) that says he owes the money with no way to enforce it against a deadbeat like this 'father' which would make them feel even worse.
I’m curious to know whether the parents splitting the cost of college was a family court order pursuant to the dissolution. If so, he violated it. The judge can order him to make payments, and put him in jail for contempt if he doesn’t.
This wasnt a thing in the 90s. Those were not even in decrees
The court may not care.I’ve discovered the hard way that my ex can violate the orders over and over, and no one cares, especially the courts
She said 'verbal agreement' which implies it is not legally enforcable unless he admits it in writing or under oath.
@@shea455 She said the parents agreed to split the cost. That may be reduced to a court order.The VERBAL agreement was for the dad to pay the son’s loan off. There may be a family court order for him to pay half of the son’s tuition, in which case he violated it in a very calculated and circuitous manner, deserving of a finding of contempt.
Great show, I am learning a lot. Thanks so much
Keep watching! Dave is a encyclopedia of knowledge
If the son has financial records of sending this money to his Dad can’t he take him to civil court and try to get a judgment against him?
Nope. It’s a gentleman’s handshake agreement. Not legally binding
Acutally their might be court order (divorce) that he had to pay for the college education. THEN he could be made to pay.
It is not only that the father failed to pay for the college education. He STOLE from his son. The son got his tuition reimbursed. And the did not keep the money, he passed on half of it to his mother (who gave him money on a regular base, so she kept her promise) and half of it he gave to his father (while the father had not yet paid anything, but there is no interest on student loans, they are only due a few months after graduation (resp. then they have to start paying).
Since the father had promised to pay the loan in the end, he was entitled to a part of the reimbursement or to getting the outstanding amount reduced. The son should have put the money on an account that he controlled, and let the father know it would be available when the loans were due, resp. the son should have paid that amount himself.
Of course the son - showing integrity - had no idea his father would steal from him.
@@franziskaniif the father doesn’t have the money - there’s nothing that can be done.
The son is young enough, knuckle down, pay it off - and never look back.
The father is the one that will lose out - he’ll be a lonely desperate old man I’m sure, and you better to not have any relationship from here on.
My dad signed a truck in my name. I will be pressing charges. Hopefully he goes to the pennnetentaey
My FiLdid this to my husband. We didn’t even know until we went to buy a house and the slow payments showed on his credit. By that time his father was deceased and the finance company refused to accept a challenge to the loan validity. It dropped off a couple years later but we were only okay on the house with me as primary and him as secondary
So the loan was in the husband’s name.
But he kept giving the money back to his father every semester instead of paying directly into his own loan?
Because his dad took out the loan in his name and said,”just give me the money.. i’ll pay it.” so he could spend the money thinking he’d be able to deal with it later BECAUSE HE’S AN A-HOLE and so cos.
Just a bump in the road. She and her husband seem to be on the right path.
Back when student loans were a check sent to your home address to pay the tuition bill, my FIL took the loan check for my husbands college, forged his signature, cashed it, and gambled it. My husband used like 5 credit cards to pay the semester when suddenly 2 months into the semester, it was discovered that the bill was not paid. So he paid tuition twice. Sadly this wasn't the only time something similar happened to my husband. And in the era of paper loan checks, I heard of this happening to others.
Yup. You have to file a police report to fix this and many hesitate to do this
Dang, Dave steamrolled George 😂
Don’t expect to see a dime from the father. He sounds like a sociopath.
honestly she shouldnt be too worried. theyre still pretty young (im assuming) and they have a solid income with small debts. easily solvable problem.
If he took the loans out in his name, why would he send the cash to his dad instead of the loan company?
You make $116k and have $62 in debt counting the $17k student loan. Leaves you with $54k. Hustle and bring in $1k more a month you be debt free in less then 2yrs. It's a pain but your income was big enough to be debt free in less then a year before the $17k came into the picture.
So sorry😢nose to the grindstone and pay it off… then NEVER speak to that crook ever again!
Can someone here explain if I'm understanding this correctly: The son takes out a student loan in the son's name. The son then gets a tuition reimbursement. Instead of the son just paying the student loan back, he gives the money to his dad so the dad can repay the student loan? Other than the dad promising to repay the student loan (which occurred before the tuition reimbursement) what is the dad's involvement in the tuition reimbursement?
Dad's involvement was to play a long game to get $17k from his son. And it worked. I would liked to have heard that conversation in which the dad convinced the son to give him the cash and he'd repay the son's loan. Like, how did that conversation go that it made sense for the son to do that?
@@AllynHin The son did the same with the mother and it worked. (mother sent him cash on a regular base and whenever he got tuition reimbursement he split it and sent her her half and the father his half. The son could have kept the reimbursement and mother could have skipped a few of her payments, but they didn't do that either).
I guess the son found it easier from an administrative point. I settle the reimbursement issue right now, in the end the father will step up for the full amount when payments are due. He has already gotten his part of the reimbursement. Easy.
The son should have put the money aside and paid it himself when payments started to be due and just tell the father what was open.
It is possible that the father promoted that plan - because he had a cash flow problem and the money he got from his son was used to solve that. The father is either a compulsive spender, does not work, or he has an addiction problem.
@@franziskani Yes, but the mother gave him cash for his tuition so it makes sense to give her cash back out of his reimbursement. The father never gave him money at all and told him to take out a loan. When the reimbursement came in, it doesn't make sense to give his father cash. It makes sense to put that reimbursement on the loan.
Parents need to quit "promising" to pay their kids' tuition. Many also can't afford to support thier adult children and will dip into thier retirement. Its all so they can brag at thier church friends
He probably didn't promise he probably had to inorder to see his kids. Don't think he did it maliciously.
Glad i dont go to church
Or, just be like my mom and tell people you paid for your kids' college despite not paying anything for your kids' college. Just do that. She never even worked, either. I hate my mom.
Went to church for 35 yrs and never heard anyone brag about paying their kid’s tuition. Cheap shot.
I’ve been to many many churches over the years and have never heard anyone bragging about paying their kids college tuition. Maybe the office? That’s not a thing that would even come up in church unless someone was asking for PRAYER about where the money would come from for college tuition(which sounds wacky but that is a thing that people in some churches do.)
It’s such a funny thing to imagine. I wonder where you got that idea from.
"This pisses me off a lot"...I expect not only cause it delays the son's moving forward in life, but also cause it screws over family...Dave has respect for his family, and couldn't comprehend doing something like this to his children...people can bad mouth him like "oh he declared bankruptcy"...he knows how hard it is coming back from falling off the cliff, and he learned how NOT to treat your family...and he gets angry seeing a dad, who should have learned not to be self centered, treat his son with so little respect. It really is disgusting to see a son treated that way by someone who is supposed to love him.
Zero excuse not to honour a debt you say you will pay for your child. ZERO. The son needs a fatherectomy. What a piece of garbage. I say this as a parent of two adult children who expect nothing from us, we worked extra to pay half of their post secondary education, and they are forever grateful.
Well, assuming the agreement was reduced to court order in the divorce, there would likely be legal recourse, but a judgment doesn't mean he'll ever see the money. Probably a waste of time to pursue it. I would chalk this up to lesson learned- the lesson being don't be a father like you had.
$1,000 emergency fund is a joke in 2024… needs to be a minimum of $5,000 and ideally three months worth of bills/living expenses
We're talking about people who would give up if they have to save up for more than a couple of months =before paying off a cent of debt. We're not talking about the full emergency fund, we're only talking about the starter emergency fund
That's the initial contribution to the emergency fund. The point of the $1k is so you don't have to worry about a basic necessity cost. The full emergency fund is 3-6 months of expenses depending on your specific situation.
You haven't looked at the whole process. The initial $1k emergency fund is to cover emergencies while you get out of debt. It helps you to not fall off the wagon (when the hot water heater quits or the car won't start for example) while you're attacking your debts. Once your debts are paid off, you do a fully-funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of your household expenses.
Nope, as long as you have higher interest loans, it does not make much sense to have money sitting around (with little interest). Son and wife have good credit. 1000 USD is for the unexpected expenditures, plus they have money coming in on a monthly base, so they can juggle a bit if they have an unexpected cash flow problem
If a lot of things go wrong they can always borrow 4000 USD - if need be on credit cards - and pay it down swiftly. (that's not much interest, if you settle that within 1 month).
Mother and son DO have financial integrity. Mother could afford to support him on a regular base during college. He got tuition reimbursement and always sent her 50 % of it (the other half he sent to his scumbag father).
People like him always have friends that have a little money aside and people like them do not get into financial trouble (that would be avoidable). If fate strikes big time, 4000 or 10000 USD are not going to save them anyway, then they might need to touch the retirement savings or take out a loan on the house. If they ever have a cashflow problem your friends and family can be the emergency fund and they can do the same for them (and neither of them needs to put a lot of money aside).
I have been on the receiving and giving end of "short term help with cashflow. And it always was paid down. (You just need to KNOW the character of the people that borrow money).
I also helped out friends with 500 USD and I know they most likely will not be able to pay back. By no fault of their own in financial trouble - those 500 USD will turn out to be a gift most likely. I can afford that, and it does not put a strain on the relationship. Glad to be able to make their burden a bit lighter.
@@AllynHin The problem is that costs have gone up, so $1K is no longer sufficient as a starter emergency fund.
A verbal agreement means nothing.
A “twerp”?😂
Think there is another word that better describe his father.
ASS !!!
I believe we might be going for something where the sun don't shine.
Respect your father but keep him very far away from your financial plans. We aren’t able to even question parents poor character & choices. Distance it is!!! So sad. Pay it and take the L.
There is no base for respect and the emotional attachment is also harmed.
The more convoluted a plan is the more likely it’s going to fail, especially when money is involved.
Sounds like he was paying until the divorce happened and is now living paycheck to paycheck. What did they expect at that rate?
They sent cash to the father with the intention that it went towards the loan. Make a police report that the dad stole the money and sue him for fraud.
never trust anyone. NEVER trust anyone. NEVER TRUST anyone. NEVER TRUST ANYONE
They should move in with dad...let him pay the rent whey they pay off the loan.
My mother took out a plus loan for some of my undergrad; i paid it back no problem.
This couple clearly has a big spending problem if they gross 116k a year and only have a grand. That’s on them not the father.
You didn't understand the call.
@@jackiechoate6163 Only 17k of the 62k of debt was from the father student loan situation. The father has nothing to do with them spending more than they make.
I'm confused if the dad had the son take the loans out in his name why did the son send the dad the money to pay it off it the loan was in the son's name. Should have just sent the money to the bank.
I just commented with the same question. There is something this lady is not telling us.
@@neutralcommenter7800 maybe it was a parent plus loan but then it wouldn't affect them in buying a house. But still if it was a condition of the divorce to split the kid's college tuition why would he pay either of them back.
The son got a tuition reimbursement. Mother gave him money on a regular base, and whenever reimbursement came in the son gave her half of it. And the other half was meant for the share of the father - only the father had not yet paid anything. Student loans are only due to be paid (starting payments) a few months after graduation. So that the father had not yet paid anything was not suspicious.
Not only that the father did not contribute anything to the college education (and this might have been part of the divorce settlement, not only a handshake agreement) - it got worse. The son also sent the father right away his share of the reimbursement. This was the big mistake, son should have kept the money on a separate account and should have paid it himself after graduation.
I think the son found it easier to do from an adminstrative point of view. Give the parents their part of the reimbursement right now. Mother continues with the regular assistance (she did !) father will pay the full loan amount - the money that reduced that burden he had already received. No one had to go and look at the old files, etc.
If the father would have honored his word it would not matter, that this was a weird arrangement. If the father would at least ! pay back the money he had received from the son ...
No he is not a twerp - other names come to mind ....
Why did husband said his father any money at all if the loan was in husband’s name?…. That doesn’t make any sense..
Eva use he was a trusting 18 year old. His father took advantage of him. He’s a snake. I’d never talk to him again ever
Why did he send any more to his dad???? The loan was in her husbands name based on the first 30 seconds. While the dad is a bad guy, this is on her husband, it was his loan, he should have paid directly.
The student sent his dad money to pay the student's loans. That doesn't even make sense.. Why not send the money to the loan company?
Why is it the parents obligation to finance their children’s college education ? If the parents are unable to do it, so be it. Coming from a very large family, we all worked hard to be independent before age 18.
The father made sure the student loan was in the sons name. That was the clue right there. The trusting son, was the scheming father’s Patsy.
“But if any (man) provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
- 1 Timothy 5:8
Wow smh. Ppl man.
Why didn’t he send the money to the loan company and not his dad?
So they are blaming the 17k on the dad for not being able to buy a house.
But their debt on cars that they didn’t need is not part of the problem.
They both need to grow up and be responsible for their actions. If the dad wasn’t sending any payments and they still weren’t married. He should’ve worked on that debt. Trust me it looks like they also went out on the wedding party. And now they are playing victim for 17k. When they have probably spent more than double on their purchases.
Trust is backbone of any relationship. With parents, we are born with trust in them as a survival. It is so hard to not trust your parents. It hurts as it is. Optimism keep thing unclear. I am glad money as tool is yhere to see reality. I guess being grown up is dealing with this kund of heartache.
Hi Dave, I have a toothache.
George: SELL THE CAR
😂😂😂😂😂
would never take a penny from my kids !!
I can't fathom how people with $180K in student loan debt would buy anything, especially taking out more debt for vehicles. Thats a $2000/month payment for 10 years minimum. Crazy!
why did he pay his father back for money that he had borrowed under his own name? why not just pay that loan back directly?
Reminds me of my wifes father. He promised me he would pay me back if i paid for our wedding up front. left me with 33k in debt
Anytime someone asks you to pay for something up front and they will reimburse you, it is B.S. If you want to help them, start with what you can afford to lose. If they pay you back, they've earned your trust.
@@gene_takavic57and he couldn’t afford a $33k wedding to start with so how did he think his father in law could afford such a pricey wedding?
The relatives would assume that the father had financed the wedding and it would look good for HIM. While he made the young couple pay for it. If he had told them upfront he could not afford to help them finance an nice wedding - he would have lost prestige. (In some communities it is a big thing, that the parents can afford to wed off their children in style).
The father in law protected his ego on your dime.
@@franziskani Wow.
@@Shopgirl1 The father in law is a multi-millionaire several times over. Paid for 2 very expensive college educations for his kids in cash. He practically begged me to have a larger wedding. Culture thing.
Guys why you rubbing it in???
Can we get Dave to react to Scott’s Tots from the office lol?
This makes no sense. Why would his mom send his money, and he sends her half back, and sends the other half to his father?
The loan is in his name. So how did he think that his father would pay it?
They make 116k. I would not hold off putting money into a house fund.
Stop with the name calling.
It is a little confusing. Unless he needed to pay for the tuition at the beginning of the semester and he earned the money during the semester then paid them back for what they paid. However the father was probably a parent plus loan so when he paid his dad back for upfront money his dad just did a loan.
@@drn13355 If it was a parent plus, it will be in the fathers name, and not his.
@@jimmymcgill6778It isn’t a parent plus 😂😂😂😂😂 you always wanna slam Dave & take the side of weird people. Stop it. This is cut & dry
Sell that car.
@@OopThereItIs77777How about you learn to read and understand what you are reading.
I would check if there is any other debt his dad put in his name . Big red flag.
Eventually dad's going to want them to fund his retirement
Why did he send the money to his dad instead of paying off the loans he had taken out? I’m genuinely confused over here.
Why the heck didn't he just pay the loan directly if it was in his name? Makes zero sense, he should have taken care of his own debt instead of passing the responsibility to someone else. Dad is a complete scumbag, but it wouldn't have happened if the husband paid his loan himself.
Keep the car. Dont mess around with older mystery cars. I just got my first new car, and the peace of mind i have for the next 10 years is a huge relief.
Clearly you bought Japanese.
Hearing from tijuana
$116,000 Income and only $1000 savings ? Can’t pay off $17,000
Parents should never steal from kids...unless it is Halloween candy.
Family can be the absolute worse....more than a stranger screwing you.
A few years to get rid of this debt.
He’s going to have to give St. Peter an explanation for every cent he stole from his own blood. Have mirth, for everyone will eventually get back what they put into the world.
Will you get the houses at least?
She should get out while there's still time.
I’m pissed off just listening to this.
99% of the time women call for the household....
Yeah our dad tried to scam us out of 100k with promises of his bitcoin genius. When we asked how much he was investing he said none. He had lost all his money on prior bitcoin investing genius. We said hit the road and die. Never heard from him again it's been 8 years. Maybe he got so rich he forgot all about us.😂
If the father has credit he can always get a loan transfer the amount to his name and be the one on the hook. But Dave will tell you to buy your house cash and save for it.
If dad was that shady to talk the son into getting the loan and then convince the son to give him the cash to pay it back.....and then didn't pay it back, he sure as heck isn't going to take out a loan to make this right. He was playing a long game to get $17k from his son and it worked.
@@AllynHin to bad the son has to figure out his dads a pos. The fact that the kid even gave him the money back and left him on the hook. I got my first loan at 16 and my dad co signed for me. Gave me the speech about becoming a man and paying my bills. The loan was for a car he was selling. Then took that money opened an account at the bank and got a $4500 or $5g loan. Gambled it away then a few months later he’s complaining that they want him to make the payments on the loan. I remember him saying I’m paying the interest they should be happy with that. So from a young age I have always had debt. Been debt free once and now still there. I’m goal is debt free again.
Actually Dave says to save for your down payment and the rest can be a loan, if it is your primary residence. It is when he is talking about buying investment properties, he says cash only.
Why you blame the dad we don't know the dad situation these couple make enough money to take care them self
Doesn’t matter. The Dad lied about the Money, which is the whole point. The Dad putting the impression that he’d pay for it and not doing it was pretty pointless
She said, “He lives paycheck to paycheck and always will.” That’s a sign he lives beyond his means.
He lied to the son. That is not right. Doesn't matter if they make enough money or not.. and he is a thief.
This is 100% on the dad... The caller even said the dad lives paycheck to paycheck AND also missed payments on his daughter's tuition... This dad is a POS and I agree with Dave 100% on this. What's worse is the son GAVE the money back to his dad at the end of each semester and the Dad DID NOT pay off the student loans with it. That's some major BS right there.
Sounds like you’d probably do this to your kids if they made enough to take care of themselves…
Sounds like the husband is an idiot. Why would you send money home to pay a loan that's in the husband's name? Makes no sense. The father saw a sucker and took advantage!!
This is mom’s fault. In the divorce she put this on the kid instead of getting thing in writing forcing it. She knew her scammer husband wouldn’t do his part.