Why Cat's Are Better Than Dogs. Zoltan Kaszas - Full Special
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ย. 2019
- Your cat doesn't care about you, its more like an apathetic roommate. If you like Zoltan Kaszas' full special there is a good chance you'll like all of our other Dry Bar Comedy Specials as well! You Can check them all out for free on the Dry Bar Comedy App available now on all iOS and Android Devices.
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So as a matter of fact, I went to the pound to get a cat and they said “we have some cats in the back.” That’s how I wound up with my one eyed cat, Carrot.
I have a cat because my ex wife wanted one. Yeah.
Is it named carrot because of the color or because carrots supposedly improve eyesight?
I hope the cat is also orange to make it accurate lol.
Why is Carrot such a fitting name...
Amazing
GTFO! They really DO have a back room? Who knew? I wouldn't have any problem adopting a pet with a disability. I can't be at home to do around-the-clock insulin injections or dialysis treatments, but I can accommodate deafness or missing eyes or limbs.
We had a big drop on a plane and a guy in front of me in a completely silent plane threw his hands up and went "weeeeee" 😂 lightened the mood
hahahaha. thats funny.
In-flight comedy!
Philly to LA, in Jan of 2010? I did that once on the aforementioned flight.
@@bamachine I'm following this for sure...did two strangers from the same flight 9 years ago cross paths again in a random comment section on YT? I have to know now!! LOL
@@bobbiellison4315 would be funny
My cat used to always run down the stairs to greet us, purr and rub against us when we got home. He's 17 now, deaf and slow, so he doesn't hear us coming home anymore, but it was lovely while it lasted.
Big hugs for your furbaby 🥰
That's how mine was. But we're putting her to sleep on Monday and I gonna miss that so much 😪
@@emmy6380 💙you'll always have those sweet memories, but it sure is tough to lose them even after they've lived a full life🖤
@@emmy6380 ❤ ♥ 💓 💔 💖 💗 ❤ ♥
"Finally! Food! "😂
"I realize I've been using comedy to hide my emotions my entire life..."
Wow that hit harder than I expected
That was one of the best bits in the show. But honestly it was all great.
Me too!!! I saw a t-shirt that said.. “Trauma” ? - oh, you mean that thing that makes me hilarious! 😂😂😂😂
Chandler Bing moment there
Toxoplasmosis is real , and real bad , in SO many different ways
I can't even picture him writing this material
Feels like he's naturally this humorous
Right??!!
@Derrick Flyr what? there's different ways of spelling names like Sean and Shawn.
@Derrick Flyr Sorry to break it to you....they have a point 👌
@@humansadness3749 You need to learn how to spell Shaun.
Haha had too
@Derrick Flyr I know 3 Dereks and your the old one out with spelling. Lol Derrick Derek both look wrong IMO
You know a comedian is pretty good when you listen to him for nearly 45 minutes continuously and still want him to go on.
Absolutely
air port
Right. I didn’t want him to end. 😂😂
I lasted about 5 minutes before I decided he's a malfunctioning idiot.
@@DesertScorpionKSA you must be fun at parties ☺️
@@jaquicx9500 it depends on the party.
We had a cat with previous owners. Both gave her different names. She wouldn't respond to either. So I went through every name I could think of. She turned, her ears perked up when I said Oregano. She chose her new name.
We never meant to get a cat, cause my sister is allergic, but we found an abandoned litter on the motorway. None of them made it cause of the shock they went through, except for 1. A little white cat, who survived cause he was deaf. My sister was like 'I'll go and take meds if I have too, but we are not leaving him behind at the shelter.'
And so we were bestowed our special needs animal.
Her allergies will eventually disappear. It happened to me. I also used Bioallers animal dander relief for several months and it cured me.
@@mariuskarlowich3909im glad you got over it! Not my sister tho.. its been over 20 years now, she is still allergic to basically every animal that sheds hair
Shows how something negative can actually be a positive... "survived because he was deaf"
You may not realize the power of the good example you are providing to everyone around you💫
What color were your white cats eyes. Usually if they are blue or odd eye color (heterochromia) they are usually born deaf. I had 2 white cats with golden eyes. And only one went deaf at 18, and the other blind when 17. 😊
i thought he was going to talk about cats for 44 minutes
seighart90 I hoped he would.
I was hoping for that too, but over all he's not bad
Me 2
😂😂 so did I ! Btw I love cats 😻 and I have a dog too 😂 cats are far more intelligent than dogs 😂
😂
My cat is chill as hell. She loves when I come home and comes to greet me for like 5 minutes then she's doing her own thing for the rest of the day, with intermittent 'pet me' moments.
My cats are with me all day and night except when they eat and potty.
Cats are like Millenials and Gen z . Many of them are introverted, others are more extroverted and outgoing.
I can literally spoon my cat at night. He is the most needy cat I have ever encountered.
...intermittent 'Ive got an itch' moments.
@@malorie8557 mine is needy as hell too and follows me around the house and wants to be on me all the time XD
I’ve never heard of “eye comedy” but this is exactly what this is. He does it well. A stellar eye comedian lol
I've had a very rough day and was stressed and in tears so I decided to listen to your comedy and I feel 100% better. It is good for the soul to laugh and is very healing!
Aww have a better day tomoz ❤
SUCH the perfect description of dog energy, and absolutely why I'm a cat person.
Yes. Very accurate. I love dogs. But they require A LOT of attention. Aint nobody got time for that
Me too, all eight of them!
@@deborah5531 I have eight also!
I'm an animal lover, totally agree! Especially my hyper dog. I have a lazy, old dog people would love as a cat person, but this skit was my hyper puppy so much. Even at 8 months, she doesn't seem like she's going to slow down. Dogs are not for everyone. Cats as well.
I love both, however and have best of both worlds. It's hard work. Definitely recommend you to stick to what makes you happy and rescue cats. I rescued my girl that I absolutely became attached to (especially after bottlefeeding) from where I worked or she would've been put down with her siblings :/. Unfortunately, I couldn't adopt the rest. But I bottlefed her. She's very small to this day and my baby. Cats really have tough times getting adopted at times, especially older ones (not so much the kittens), so that always broke my heart. Cat people are underestimated, Imo. Lots of work and care.
For me its purely about the smell, cats dont smell as bad. Dogs want to cover you in their saliva too..
That he could sustain his act and connect with the audience for 44 minutes is amazing! There was never a dull moment. I wish him and his wife a bright future together.
ahikanana He and his wife are getting divorced. Apparently it wasn’t a failed marriage it was an efficient one. I saw him at the Tacoma Comedy Palace yesterday and he was even more hilarious.
And Jessica
Would you still wish him a good future if he wasn't funny?
@@TheNameTag I'm sure they willl.
That's what stand-up comedy is. Some of them do it for well over an hour!
He has this authentic innocence, that makes him trully unique, he just flows!!😳😳
I clicked onto this skit because the title had "cats" in it. I enjoyed the entire routine much more than I expected to. I will watch more of his shows.
The accuracy on cats is unbelievable.
They are very agile animals indeed.
Are you related to thanos, perchance?
@@savagetuner2404 lol maybe you've been on my personal TH-cam channel, check that out ♡♥
And if you are ever inaccurate, buy a scope
He really is accurate on cats. I also have a fat one that won't tolerate a diet and will stand on your head. It's good to know someone else has that going on.
He is really good. No awkward moments. Love it. Very in flow
... if you love stand up, you love awkward.
Hey he was awkward but it works
maby you think he is good i was waiting for him to say something funny i never laughed the whole time
@@stevenherrold5955 I really hope your formatting/grammar is a joke
@@stevenherrold5955 sounds like you live a fun life.
My cat is similar to Jessica. Before we had an auto feeder for her, she’d bite me and wake me up every two hours. When I was telling my coworker this, someone we were passing by asked if I had a newborn baby. I said, “No, it’s a cat.” 🤣
Never have I related harder to a comment
Auto feeder? Enjoy those special moments of being together
Thanks, that really made me laugh 🤣
@@Pupanddodger Glad to help. 😂 She’s also a senior cat. I adopted her 3 years ago. She’s 13 years old now. She definitely lets you know if her auto feeder is out of food. 😂 Old and set in her ways. She likes schedules and is strict about it. 😆
My toddler bit me the other day. She must have learned it from the cat, if you don’t get what you want, you bite.
I can't even tell you how many times I've seen this video and I laugh every single time 😂
I love this guy he's great
This guy's ruined dogs for me.
Every single time a dog comes to me with all that energy I start picturing this guy's face.
I just cant.
Lol 😂😆 dogface Zoltan. 😂
I was already like that. I’m not sure I blame him. I like other people’s dog(s) but not the one we have.
He perfectly described how I felt my whole life about dogs.
😂Exactly!!! I was already like that. I have one 🐈⬛, 😂
I still love dogs, but his description of both species is SPOT ON!
I really like how much he enjoys his own jokes, and the reactions of the audience. It just makes him seem human
i think he is a human.
@@anthony639 I mean, he does kinda look like Jesus, you never know.
He's really good at being human. Zuckerberg should take lessons.
Seems like a good cover...
You should listen to Hampton Yount. He’s great, he always laughs at his own jokes and gets the audience laughing even harder. It’s great
"Subaru and a rescue dog" had me dying of laughter and the facial expressions are priceless. Too funny!!!
Same!!!!
Cats are from another reality. They communicate telepathically. I can sense that intelligence. My hubby and I were having a little moment of romance, when I got the creepy feeling we were being watched. We turned to see a neighbor's cat sitting outside our living room window staring intently at us. I felt so...exploited.
😁🤣
My cat knows when it’s bedtime and sneaks under our bed.
Cats are so judgmental😂 If they had opposable thumbs, they would be our overlords for sure.
THIS is SERIOUSLY funny. CLEAN humor that is actually really funny.
Refreshing.
hey KNUCKS, cant tell if youre in pure disbelief or just outright offended...or i guess..your CAPS lock could be on the fritz, i suppose? cool thanx,
-c ya
While doing clean funny comedy is a good skill, as long as someone's consistently funny, I'm happy lol
Not to take the wind out of this guy's sails or anything but also check out Brian Regan's "I walked on the moon" Clean humor is a rarity these days.
@@xenon454 clean humor can be impressive but funny is funny. I LOVE a funny comedian that cusses. The cussing is an afterthought to me. Almost nothing is offensive unless it's a threat to an individual or group of ppl. I'm more worried about the actions of criminal politicians than the words they use while committing them. Civility is DEAD (but appreciated when it's supported by civil rights defenders).
This guy needs his own HBO special… Or Netflix… Or something! He’s one of the funniest guys I’ve heard lately somebody needs to pay this man!
I agree
Agreed, I'd watch his special
@Multi Dimensional Your too young to understand. Go back to watch Paw Patrol.
but he didn't win a "Got Talent" competition, so he gets no playtime on the specials. .
Józef Hofmann facts! Facts! Facts! Amen Brother from The American resistance in Commiefornia
Now I finally know what bothers me in dogs.......thanks dude......my mind is less clouded to me now.....😄😄😄
I have both dogs and cats and can relate to this guy, but I love, love, love the attention I get from my dogs. I had one cat that used to bring me rubber bands, tap me on the leg and wait for me to shoot that thing across the room. She'd run to get it, put on the front brakes and her rear would keep going. Then she'd bring it back and do it all over again. Cats get distracted really easy though. Oh wait, there's a corner on that end table that looks like a great place to rub my chin on. She was a special cat. Her name was Cassy.
🤣🤣🤣"That's why I like cats...cats are like hey what are you up too ..uh nevermind I just remembered I don't care."🤣🤣🤣
But then they use your head as a scratching post and you remember, they do care.
Mine is a loving, little weirdo.
You got out and she waits at the door for you to come home like a dog😂
@@DiscoTimelordASD "little weirdo" That's what I call my little fluffball sometimes.🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@ciaartin2221 Given they tear around the house like little crazies, it's understandable lol
😹😹
Zoltan is literally my favorite comedian, he's so comfortable on stage and just goes with the flow! I'm also a cat person. So maybe that's why his comedy vibes so well with me.
i like him too but im a dog person soooooooo...........
Ikr? He was fun. But yeah am also a dog person 😀.
I cried at my wedding too. And I as well, blame my wife. We wrote our own vowes and hers got me good
His bit on Costco samples just sent me so beyond!
I never thought id have a cat. I got him after my dog of my childhood passed away. It wasnt planned. But he was homeless. And he is an awesome cat. His name is bob ross. :3.
Aww, I love his name! Happy trees, lol!
Did You pick the name?
Bob Ross strikes me as the perfect name for a cat. Hopefully he is as sweet as his namesake!
@@MichelleCzarneckiakaBoogawes he's an awesome cat looks like puss in boots. Color scheme wise and the Golden eyes. Lol
I got a cat 6 years ago and she is my best friend. I can’t think of any other pet I’d wanna have. I like cats because they are so loving and you can snuggle up with them
These clean comics are some of the funniest I've seen in the craft in years.
Zero The Only I feel like it's harder to do good clean comedy bit to keep a crowd entranced for this long
“Huh huh huh! I am BEFUDDLED!” 😄 His facial expressions add so much to it. Love this guy!
He is so funny, without getting dirty. I love his comedy!
I think the memory foam bit was a little raunchy, but I agree he's good!
Raunchy but probably true. If that’s as bad as his comedy gets…
I live in a neighborhood with a lot of Dogs. The thing I like about Cats, is I don't have to listen to them 5-6 blocks away.
Cats in heat
@@mothtoafire not of they're fixed 😉
I like that I don't have to carry poo bags around.
Exactly… I can’t stand barking. And I can’t stand dog poop on the ground and grass
@@EB-gt1pq cats screwing are the worst sound a domesticated animal can make.
"I dont like that annoying dog best friend in your face all the time energy". Lol. My dogs dont like that either. I know because I'm that energy.
😂😂😂
People would never guess I'm a cat person
With my energy of the sun.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Nick Broomhall Why? There are dogs who are calmer and dogs who are hyperactive. And I think if you have two calmer dogs, they would be ok with some enthusiasm but wouldnt like a person jumping around them or beeing loud constantly. Idk
Hhaa
I have probably watched every single Dry Bar Comedy episode and this is by far my favorite! I've watched it probably 5 times. Never gets old! Keep up the great comedy !
My favorite seamstress used to post articles and photos of special needs animals on a bulletin board in her shop with her own comments written in the margins..."I pray" , "I feel sorry", "I cry" "I hope"...it was the sweetest thing. Also... she used fabric scraps and remnants to make "comfort quilts" for rescue animals. Sweetest Ukranian lady, just the biggest heart.
"Guys, remember to blink, you're scaring the tourists" 😹
My name is also Jessica and I also weigh more than I should 😂
Ayyye, same gurl!
😂😂 my name's not Jessica but I definitely weigh more than I should due to PCOS and hypothyroidism.
that extra 45 lbs of baby fat let me walk out of a hospital 13 days after a head on, no belts well crutches and a full leg cast
Hi Jessica
Hi Jessica. you sound like tons of fun.
Dear lord, this is hilarious 😂😂😂 thank you man
I hope Jessica is still alive and well, and eating all the bacon she can get her paws on 😂❤
This guy is hilarious without using bad language. Really, really good.
I was going to comment this too!! The clean nature of the whole routine was so refreshing and I appreciated it so much.
@@thatwrengirl I didn't even notice it was a clean act before reading this, and that shows that it's well done. Usually when I notice an act is clean is coz it's an overly family friendly cheesy piece of garbage.
This Jesus guy is great
Bad language is never funny
@@lovecats6856 it absolutely is
His show Dancin with Drunks isn't clean
"That is not why scientists came together."
Underappreciated joke, audience didn't seem to catch it.
At least WE DID🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
,,funny and local. I want to go to the comedy club but still waiting for the pussies to allow fun. who could have imagined a world being scared to get a cold and being locked down
It's Utah folks though......different sense of humor. I have notice in quite a few living/working there for over a year.
They are a bunch of lds and i was surprised at the amount of laughs he did get honestly🤷 I however thought he was hillarious 🙊 ( lds Mormon not ld learning disabled sorry for not being clear there)
To appreciate the joke you need to have tried to do anything (literally anything) on a memory foam mattress other than just lay there. Eventually your tailbone will be digging into the floor. They also start to tear apart after a while along the "squish lines". And the spiel about "You can put a cup of water on it and it won't spill!" from the commercials? Ask my cat if that's true. lmao But they are the best sleep ever.
We have a 3 legged cat with a half a tail named Lala, you would never know she runs just as fast as our other cats.
Had a three legged one eyed cat.
King of all the other animals. Even the dogs. Nobody messed with Shadow.
🧢
Oh wow aww ❤
Aww! Lala is a yogurt brand that I drink jaja but that’s awesome.
We had a three~legged cat. Named him "Tripod"! :)
HAAAA HAHAHAHAHA😂🤣😂
"You're right... This diet is over. C'mon I got some bacon,lets get after it"
He has such thick luscious hair. I'm so jealous
Finally someone talked about his hair .
I know. The envy!
he has the same hair as me
it even waves the same at the bottom
sadly, though, now that I'm 30 it's started thinning out and doesn't look as luscious
T_T
I was thinking the exact same thing
His hair's like mine except I'm Blaxican 😛
This kind of clean comedy is what I would actually pay to go see. I'm 33, so not an old fart, and I still prefer clean comedy like this over the constant cussing.
Then follow dry bar. All their comedy is clean in my experience thus far
Provo is in Utah... I live here, I don't blink and smile lots.. jk
I know your comment is really old but, I gotta ask, have things turned upside down since I was a kid? Back then, the older folks were, the cleaner they preferred things. Now, Im fifty two and the most caustic it is the more I prefer it. Everyone I know is like that - and it's now the young people that seem to prefer cleaner material. That is, at least, in my world.
@@JoeNietzsche I don't know about other people, but I'm a Christian and I have kids. We don't use profanity in our house. Sometimes a "sh**" might slip out if something bad happens but we've mostly stamped that out of our vocab. We've never been the type to say the f word. It makes us so uncomfortable when we try to watch a movie and they say the f word in ever other sentence. We are not saints, we laugh at dirty jokes and sometimes when a cuss word is used in a joke, it can be really funny. It's the comics who rely so heavily on profanity that I can't stand. Truly GREAT comics never have to rely on profanity for laughs. Also, I don't put these things on TV until after the kids go to bed because I don't want to raise them hearing that stuff all the time. So hopefully when they're older and they have the freedom to watch what they want, it will make them feel uncomfortable too. I hope that by raising my kids like this, I'm contributing to the future of the moral fiber of our society.
@@jennifereddleman6656 Sorry, Jen, but your god doesn't exist. Let me demonstrate: If you god is all powerful and all good, then why do bad things like tsunamis exist? Why does cancer exist? Why do parasites that burrow into the eyes of children, making them blind for the rest of their lives, exist? Does your god want to stop these evils but is unable to? Or, is your god able to stop these evils but just doesn't want to? Either way, if there is a god, it is either not all powerful or not all good. Feel free to pick but one way or another, your god cannot be real.
Now, you were saying something about comedy?
Thank you Zoltan! I've been laughing out loud for 44 minutes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm a cat person and I have never thought to myself, "I need a dog." I've been babysitting my son's dog for the past month while he is traveling for work. His dog has taken to following me around the house and just laying down when I am doing something. She watches me all the time with there big huge eyes. Holy cow man! I don't ever want to be loved that much!
I totally understand that! In fact.. you’re just how cats are haha so you might be a total cat person
coffee shop: "When I was younger, always wanted to go down to the coffee shop; I might meet someone, you never know what could happen', now I'm older it's like, 'I dont want to go down to the coffee shop; I might meet someone, you never know what could happen'". Hilarious delivery
"We're saying thaa-", "please sir it takes a village" -- "I don't have that kind of time." I felt that one in my soul.
I felt it too 🤣🤣🤣
He is now officially my favorite comic. Such incredible talent!!
Holy crap this dude is hilarious! I'm so glad TH-cam recommended this video
This guy is a real artist, proving that you do not need to be vulgar or curse to deliver high quality comedy.
"The Father, the Son, and the Ghost of Christmas past"...for EVERYTHING !🤣
What an enjoyable performance! You are such a really nice looking, positive and truly likeable young man, Mr. Kaszas! Thank you
for your genuinely funny routine. What a pleasure to find a comedian who does not use any obscene words!! And your hair must be the envy of a lot of people! I love cats as well as dogs, and my cats walked with me without a leash (in a safe garden area), and
were just as devoted and loyal as my beautiful Alsatian. Good wishes to you and your wife and kitty, Jessica.
This randomly popped up- maybe because I watch cat videos? Listened to the whole thing. Refreshing to hear a comedian do 45 minutes without being vulgar or demeaning. Great!!
Zoltan has the best stare I've ever seen in a comedian. Those eyes are like laser beams! :^)
He goes from sweet to batshit crazy in no time and I love it!
Just like a cat whose eyes are reflecting a camera flash! 😂🤩
I am starting to suspect that the feeling of being an adult doesn’t come. I’m 38. I live a pretty mature looking life but I feel like a clueless 19 year old inside. And yeah, I definitely understand how meeting or bumping in to people used to seem exciting and now it just seems like work at best or a nightmare at worst.
I'm 66 and feel the same way ;-)
Don’t be like the 66 year old guy but as a clueless 19 year old. I’m sure you could give me some sound advice
Catin, this further supports my suspicions ; )
Covering, no dear I aspire to be just as cluelessly mature as they ☺️ Oh and no offense to you or actual clueless 19 year olds everywhere. I was once one myself. In fact I did it for an entire year!
I'm 19 but I feel like an infant trying to exist
The presidential debates joke that compared them to seasons of a TV show was SO original/genius, and delivered with flawless enthusiasm. This guy deserves for his career to take off, hope we'll see more of him someday soon!! 😊
I re-Listen to this every once in awhile. When something’s funny, it remains funny. I do this with all my favorite comedians. I’d rather hear a repeat set than listen to a bad comedian.
When he makes that creepy face, he turns from Jesus into the anti-christ.
The irony.
DarknoorX lamo
I couldn’t put my finger on a description for that until this comment
666th like ☺
Imma leave it at 666
NataliaLuis DeValdivia no where does it say he was black with an Afro rofl. There were many whites in the Middle East 2 thousand years ago, but I don’t expect a Kang to know actual history.
The airplane turbulence had me wheezing. It reminded me of a flight that I was on that got choppy, then this kid next to me put a hand out and stared intensely into the floor. And when his mom in the window seat asked him what he's doing, he said "I'm keeping the plane up! With the force!"
That’s funny
It's funny in worldly ways....Movies teach kids things that actually require prayer to the author of life....Lord Jesus has the real power. People are their own gods and will find death. Have you seen Hercules lately?!
Heck yeah, that kid's a hero!!!
Truly wonderful he mind of a child is.
My 2 cats age 15 come running to the door when I come home like dogs I have the best of both worlds they're super playful still and happy I'm blessed
Great set, but I can’t get past the fact that whoever wrote this title inexplicably thought that the plural of “cat” is “cat’s”, but did not also write “dog’s”.
Yes! I can't get past it either. lol
Almost three years later and they still haven't fixed it! 😶
You're the only one left alive sitting there "........oh I shoulda prayed for everybody"
lmao. This guy is hilarious. Glad TH-cam suggested someone actually funny.
Posting from 2020, TH-cam comedy has been a real lifesaver.
“That’s their whole selling point, explaining how shade works.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I lost it at " the sun never sets" 😂😂😂😂
My cat brings us leaves always the same type 2-6 each time announcing he has brought one 😻 while he is out for a few hours. 😻
I laugh at the "hungry cat on the head" image, until a few days ago I lift the bowls with kibbles and forgot to put them back. In the night my big kitten fussed around and, because I didn't get up, he stood on my head!
My cat (when he still belonged to my aunt, before she passed) was hungry one time and wanted me to wake up, so he slashed me in the face. He was such a dickbag back then.
OMG ! How funny 🤣
Mine would be right In my neck and purr and nibble on my ear lobe till I woke up !
I was crying with laughter for 44 minutes straight, someone give this man a show!!
Same! So sad.
Zoltan is hands down friggin’ hilarious. His buildup and delivery are over the top great storytelling. The bit about the differences between cats and dogs is so true, as is are the bit about children. I would very much like to see him perform his new standup routine and hopefully get to meet him afterwards. My parents too are from Hungary, though mine left many years prior to his leaving, and I think I know where he gets his humor from. I hope he achieves success.
The only comedian to continuously make me laugh out loud since I discovered Eddie Izzard about 25 years ago. Very talented.
Huge compliment❤
I used to work at a shelter, and while I can’t vouch for every shelter, at mine we always had like 12 animals in each different animal room, and like a forty animals in “the back”. So yes there is a back
I kind of get where he's coming from about dogs.
I just want to be able to eat food in my 1 room apartment without her constantly staring at me.... judging me...
Find a taxidermist.
She’s not judging you. She’s manipulating you into sharing. Not much different than a girlfriend actually.
If you get a whelp and train it right, it'll be chilling and know that he has no chance of getting any of your food.
You could even leave the room with food on the table.
@@RoachMcToast I'm a girl and i understand where your coming from cause well i may not have a boyfriend but i have a brother and I'm intent on him sharing his chips
@@onpsxmember I had a beagle that would get on the table, he was courteous enough to wait until we were done eating. I just thought the then wife's younger brother was good at his chores (lazy effer). The dog was especially great at cleaning up around where the toddler ate. Miss the dog, not the wife.
This is my favorite special, I rewatch it at least once a month lmao
Perfect description of dog energy, and that's exactly the reason I am a dog person.🐶
My favorites of comedians ....hes a storyteller and a natural comedian can make anything funny your hilarious i truly enjoy your craft!!
yeah he's really good. easily top 10% of all dry bar comedians
I think that's most comedians, the difference is in whether they can do that or not. At the end of the day that's all comedians do is they impart information on you, but they do so in a way that is somehow funny. Hopefully, or else they're not gonna make it very long. I think most comedy derives from the truth, though. One way or another.
True, true.
“Jessica we need some help!!!!” Lmao 😂........ 🐈
Wow, I like this dude! Judging by his name he is of Hungarian descent, so that makes me proud ❤️.
As I'm watching this, a friendly/needy cat is crawling over the keyboard and pausing the video. Irony XD
I must be weird... All of the cats I've reported to were crazy about me.
One time my brother was visiting and he saw my grey cat Shadow sleeping in a chair.
He asked "Where's the black cat?"
I replied "Hades? Let me get him. Hades, here boy!"
Hades came running into the living room from the bedroom.
My brother turns to me with an incredulous look on his face. "Your cats come when you call them?"
Maybe it's the name! My baby Hades is the sweetest cat, he loves to be held like a baby and he's so snuggly
I'm assuming this happened organically, and not through deliberate training, since you don't know how it happened. In that case, my guess is that you've been calling your cats from they were kittens. Kittens have an instinct to respond to their mother's call, and it can be transferred to the human companion. Also, you always make sure to give them positive attention when they make you happy.
If it applies to more than simply calling the cat, I'll further guess that you often talk about things that they care about, consistently using the same words for the same things. E.g. you talk about opening the door, when they want the door opened, and while you're opening it, about the food when you're about to feed them, about leaving home when you're about to leave, etcetera.
By nature, cat's don't pay much attention to human noises. It's a matter of register; physiologically, they can hear our voice register, but it's outside the register they instinctively pay most attention to. They need to discover an upside to listening to us, such as an improved ability to predict your behavior, or, even better, manipulate it. You can increase the likelihood of getting their attention by speaking in a higher register, but nothing beats speaking often and about things that affect them.
My friend had kittens and wanted to know if I wanted one. I went over, entered the room they were kept in and sat down in a corner. And waited. Hades was the one who crawled into my lap. Like they say, you don't adopt a cat; the cat adopts you. I guess that's about as organic as you can get.
@@LyleAustin "Hades was the one who crawled into my lap." And you've been a loyal pet, ever since? Yeah, I know how that works! It's beautiful when it's reciprocated, though, which it sound like it is.
Mines comes when I whistle at her, or if I leave the room (most of the time). Often she promptly bites me, so I’m not sure if that affection or hatred.
Class act, rare these days. I'm in my 60s and he had me laughing out loud, more than once.
Jeez luieez thank god you laughed more than once. I didn’t know being 60 was that tough lol hahahaha
@@ramintahouri270 I still belly laugh. I just don't usually find the humor of someone decades younger than me all that funny. This was truly an exception.
Yes, I understand. There is a gap in the generational lingo and pop culture. One grows into a way being, relevant to ones own time and upbringing. I’m glad to see you were given the joy of laughter :)
Ok boomer
First time watching this guy - ABSOLUTELY LIVED HIM! Gentle, clean, subtle, yet hilarious!
Man this guy is funny. You can tell he works hard at his craft. Every line sounds so natural but is absolutely scripted. I wonder how long it took to script the part about the $40 hotel and the old man doing donuts? Probably a true story but his use of the words “doing donuts” just put a visual in my head that kept cracking me up even after I watched the whole routine. And to follow it up with the whole Portland Jesus story. That was the best part of the show. Zoltan is hilarious. Love it.
"Throw me a blessing!"
Turns and points, "You GOT IT!!"
Zoltan is officially Hipster Jesus.
Love it!
He's Buddy Christ
I Concur!
Id like to say a quick prayer...
Our Lord and mate, Kevin;
Free trade be thy name;
Thine man bun done, thine hemp pants spun,
On us as it is on Kevin.
Give us this day our gluten-free bread,
And forgive us our Jessicas...
As we forgive those who are Jessicas on our heads.
In Hipster Jesus' name:
Kevin
Could not agree more
I’ve watched this so many times and it never gets old. I need to know more about Jessica!
ikr? 🤣
Like this Guy!!! 👏🎈
A natural, hilarious guy, great comedic timing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
When he talks about Costco samples and “What if that’s how people picked their partners… they see a small sample and then they just show up…”
All I could think was “Wait… isn’t that Tinder?” 😆
Still laughing about a few of these. Thanks! 🐈
I was dying through this whole show!!! This guy is absolutely incredible
I can see why his wife said, "Hey, take this seriously tomorrow" at the wedding rehearsal. I think he can't help but be hilarious.
I just recently discovered dry bar and I love it and I love sultan he's great especially cuz I love cats
Thats probably why they aren't together anymore.
@@simmiedavissimmiesings8185 I just watched whatever special with him talking about being divorced and if his wife was like that at the wedding/rehearsal, given his personality, I can totally see why they’re marriage ended. She was probably way too serious all the time and got tired of him being so laid back.
@@sneakyirishman7090 yeah. Unequally yoked.
OMG...I love this comedian! Zoltan, you're the BEST!!!
Just got my 8th rescue cat and 1st special needs. So yeah, got crazy old cat person starter kit
"crying like we're out of ice cream" yeah he's an old soul. Haven't heard that in awhile
"Thank you. That's why you guys are here!"
this guy looks like three versions of keanu reeves morphed into one Keanu Reeves.
Actually I was thinking he's the alternate timeline version of Bobcat Goldthwait if he had stayed away from PCP and switched to good ol' cocaine.
☝️☝️both of you got my thoughts in your head?
Bob cat all the way with a little John wick
Imagine going to the pound and asking what they have in the back 😂
How do you know if your dog is autistic? This is not a joke, I'm really wondering if there is a test or something.
Put a towel on his head while he's sitting, this is what a vet I worked with did, if he leaves it on he's dumb, takes it off fast he's smart. The longer it's on the dumber he is. My dog left it on and went to sleep, go figure.
Loved it! You are great FUN!