I left my husband and 3 kids and never looked back
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024
- I will be telling stories moving forward and sharing life lessons drawn from my own journey. For the future stories to make sense to you, here is back story that will make you piece together parts of the stories.
There is absolutely no glamour in being 'married' at 18. But leaving at 21, let's call it divorce for now, was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Here in lies my story on marriage, love, hate and everything.
For those who would like to order the book, Nuria book store based in Nairobi, Kenya, will be of use.
Nuria book store instagram: @nuria_thehoneststore / nuria_thehoneststore
Instagram : ...
#life #abuse #viral #viralvideo
An out of concern comment. Please note that the stories on this channel are less than 30 minutes and in no way cover in details the entire events that happened in 3-4 years. Also, I am not an 18 year old any more - I am about twice that age now and so much has shifted. That said, if you have not had a chance to read my book, and only have 10-20 minute snippets on here, you will come with a lot of bile at the thought of gaps in the stories. While you are right, you need to also understand that I did not have anyone in mind while creating the video and I assumed I was just moving over with my followers from a different platform who have read the stories umpteen times. The negative comments are very unnecessary. If you feel like parts of what you want to understand are missing and you need to understand, give me time, I will maybe do more videos now addressing all your thoughts - maybe. I'd be more concerned about the loved ones near me, making sure no one takes advantage of them, especially people the family deems so close, and also check on people that we feel are going through any form of abuse. Sometimes, they just do not know how to get themselves out. They may need help even when they do not ask for it loudly. Also, be kind - it costs nothing.
😅
You don't need anyone's approval dear and some will understand you while others will judge you. Just know as you tell that many women will understand you and get help from you. Accept the negatives they also have their hurts and may come round. Say a prayer for every clip you make as you will need strength.
O
I am inspired by your story. He left me and when he did I found myself. It has been a wonderful journey and at 63 I am still finding myself
Sometimes we are not fully aware of our strength, until we face our weakness and doubts.Kudos sister.
I don't care how you found yourself in that situation as a teenager & how your parents did or didn't help with your predicament. You made a bold decision to leave in one piece & God bless you for using your life experience as testimony to inspire others🤗💕
Thank you.
U r pretty ❤. U picked up da pieces.. kudos
As a mother, no one will do that to my daughters and live to tell the story.And I don't care who they are. Although the situation made you stronger and it was your cross to carry, our responsibility as mothers is to protect our children, and you should have been protected.
We can never know. Even if we try to protect our children a monster can find a way to hurt one. Terrible but real.
I can relate. The shock of being hit as an adult by another adult outdid the pain of the impact
I remember crying a river while reading ME! Glad that you are now okay and can talk about it.
It’s all good now 😊. Don’t cry💕
@@itsrelatableforrealwhere can I buy your book, am in New York ?
What a bougt the childeren
I just came across your story and I must confess I was moved to my bones. I couldn’t listen to the entire story because i couldn’t just imagine how evil a man could be. I’m grateful to God he gave you the strength to be free. My dream is to meet you someday to be able to interview you on my future podcast (beauty for ashes)
It is well sis! Ended my marriage at 33 with four children… mine was abuse of all kinds. New subscriber here…
It is well!
How are you coping?, ended mine of 7 years with 2 Kids, it's been tough. 4 years down the road
Coping well… thank you, you will be fine, just take one step at a time.
@@erdooinspiringwomen thank you so much 🥂
You're unbreakable and unstoppable, I salute you for that. You didn't let him destroy you. That's power right there!!!
May you continue to soar and shine💐
I'm so sorry you went through all that.
Yes, having money gives one some freedom.
I need to get your book. Will try to get it through Nuria Bookstore.
Thanks girl! Am okay now and that is what matters. Years later, I am glad am alive and living life to my terms😀
Hugs my black sister..
Keep the faith
.god will ser you through..
❤❤❤..love from jamaica.
My Darling so sorry you had to go through that situation. I understood what you have said. You were a child yourself! Don't let the negative comments bother you. Until a person walks in another person's shoe they could and will never understand. The Keyboard Warriors, Social Media Police, Haters /Talking Heads are doing their job. Can't help themselves. You are beautiful and Super Gorgeous. Nuff Respect to you my Dear.! 👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Tatu, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through but I’m grateful that even in the midst of it all, your the voice to the many women who are undergoing this same or even similar situation. I pray for the peace, joy and grace of God to continue to carry you through each day. God bless you 🙏🏿
What a traumatic experience at a young age, glad you'd the courage to finally walk away. May God continue to lead you
Thank you! I can genuinely say I have come a long way and am in a better place. Thank you 💕
Amen 👋 🙏 God is good and he is a deliverer provider a way maker
You are who you are! Each person acts in different ways, you were naive to the outside world as a young girl! It's a lesson for others that comes after you. Your life is a monument for other young girls to avoid being like the next you. I like how you told your story so that other young girls can be inspired, and alert, and understand how their lives can change within a minute for the worse. Thank you for opening up, you have just inspired little girls and explained how a child's life can rapidly change from an innocent child to terror! We all learn at some point in our lives. Thanks for sharing. You are blessed to be here. Never be ashamed of yourself, you did nothing wrong, you were just naive as a young girl! You are forever blessed! Thanks for sharing, you are not alone and will never be! Every day a little girl is being abused!
You are indeed a survivor. I can relate with aspects of your story as a survivor and as a lawyer I also run a woman rights advocacy Organisation.
Deep down in us all we have the resillience to turn our challenges in to sucess stories. Cheers to the resillience of the human spirit. We must all remember that abuse thrives in the cycle of silence. Lets break the cycle of silence by telling empowering stories
You are a very strong woman. Keep it up.
Thank you! I appreciate it.
Tatu my sister and high school mentor.
Pole for what you went through
God bless and happy you are in a better place.
Thank you, be blessed too 😀
Thank you for sharing your story. I'll get a copy of "ME". Honestly men can be pretty aweful. At my first job I was a very young and naive 19 yr old, my boss would call me for dictation at 4:50pm. Why 10 minutes before closing, when most people would be leaving the office? Anyway, in my naivette, I would check my watch and at exactly 5:00 p.m. I would get up and say "my dad has come to pick me up" and would simply stand up and leave. He stopped calling me for dictation before closing. Only in later years did it dawn on me that the man was up to no good. Thank God in my young naive mind 5:00 p.m. meant you go home, no matter what.
He wickedthat is cruel you right to leave
I just enjoyed listening and u are very calm. Sorry for what you went through, there are some very cruel people out there. Thank God you came out of the mess and you are now ok. Well done and I admire your confidence and commitment to move on
It would be interesting to hear the man's side of the story. I am not taking sides but I also find it hard that her parents didn't report the case to the police or local authorities. Did they owe him something and took the daughter as pay back?? Or where they too scared to report the abduction of their daughter? I am a parent and I don't see how I can just sit back and not fight to get my child back! I think part of the story remains untold.
They reported severally. I am sorry when I recorded this, I didn’t factor in all these questions as I had already written a book about it, so was just giving snippets - you can imagine condensing a 3-4 year life to a 30 minute video?
Of course my parents are parents and did what parents could/should do for their children. And bless their souls, they did great amidst political violence to try and locate me. In the future I shall make a video to answer all questions as not everyone has read the book. For clarity, no one owes anyone a dime and so no one was paying by letting their child go :)
My aunt was getting abused by her husband and she told her mom (my grandma) and every time she tried to leave him, my grandma would tell him where she was because “that was her husband”
😂100%. Some African Parent Will Not Take Action As Long As The Rich Man Is Paying Them. I Had A terrible Experience When I Was In Africa As A Teenager. My Mother Took Alot Of Money In Pounds From A Rich Old Man That Is Older Than My Parents In West Africa. She Left Africa To UK With The Money And Left Me With The Man That Sexually Molested Me As A Virgin. I Cried Every Time He Takes Off My Clothes To Touch Me And Lay Naked With Me. I Am Almost 50 Years Old And Still Affected By It Mentally. 2024, My Mother Didn't See Anything Wrong With It. I Will Die For My Only Daughter. People Called Me Mama Bear. My Daughter Teenager In Nursing School And I Still Get Very Paranoid About Her When I See Any Perverted Old Man Trying To Get To Her. Her Parents Didn't Do Enough. That Man Is Someone's Husband. Money Is POWER IN AFRICA. What Happened To Me As A Kid Never Go Away At almost 50 years Old
Exactly, very confusing story. Why didn't her parents come for her? How can they let their daughter live with a family friend that they don't know his home? Funny story for sure.
@@irenerufus7963 it happens all the time unfortunately.. it’s really sad but it’s hard to comprehend when you haven’t personally been through or know people who have. Also when you have a great system of adults in your life it’s even harder to fathom.
Evidently not all men are monsters but we need to give more room for people to talk about their experiences without calling them liars or saying they deserved, what did they do to provoke the other person etc. Men suffer too, but because of the same stigma most don't speak up especially when they were abused by a fellow man, example the whole P Diddy saga. People are going through a lot and can't talk. The saddest part is when young impressionable people are put in situations bigger than their age in a world that doesn't care, then when you are 30 and speak up they'll say you were grown and had a choice 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ it's really sad
I agree
True
100%accurate
Thanks for sharing
Congratulations sis, you survived a narcissist.
Hopefully you will be able to create a career for yourself and get back your child. In the meantime keep praying, God will bless you and give you the strength to go forward.
I need to understand how the parents didn't call police when the man told the father he had kidnapped his daughter?
Me too❤
The police is corrupted in Kenya. In many countries too. The police Will do nothing. The domestic violonce in Kenya is a big problem but the government do nothing.
Thank God you are happier, alive and a better person today.
I am really humbled by your story, knowing that all this happened to you at such an early age. May God have mercy on all women especially those going through such a situation and bring vigilance to the rest who are yet to be there. This Life is beautiful and everyone is entitled to happiness and love ❤❤❤
So, where are you now? It's not very clear in the video...pole sana, mamangu. I was born in Mombasa Kenya and educated in Nairobi but I've been in Canada now for almost 50 years. I feel your pain.
God bless you 🙏
Am good now! I live and work in Dubai. Emotionally better. Things get aligned bit by bit… it is well 😀
Sad story of many girls who never talk about it. You Need to write a book.
She has
😂😂😂
@@eunicechege1103 Great
Wives who have access to the money must always take money out to start a new life don't just walk out empty.but those abusive husband shall never have peace on earth until death hell shall be their portion
Exactly! “Karma has no Menu, it will serve you what you deserve”
If u take out money in excess he will know and beat u more, worse
Mmmh I really would love to read your book to understand your story very well!
Honestly i don’t understand why your family let you stay for the four years!
Yeah, me too. Some of her story doesn't add up. Did the violence in Kenya at the last for 3 years? It's difficult to understand why her parents didn't look for her.
What a story. Glad you're now a testimony. I have so many questions but that's not important, what's important is that you came out alive and well.
Amazing, almost unbelievable story! That man is a monster😮😢😢😢
So happy you came out strong to tell the story.
Greetings! Watching from Baltimore, Maryland, USA. After listening to your story, my heart goes out to you. But mostly your child these reach children lies are hanging in the balance meaning they will be abused at some of their lives. All you can do is pray to God for this man to change and surrender his life to Christ . I am happy you got out of this terrible relationship, so you can heal . May God Almighty give you his peace , and heal you from the crown of your head to the souls of your feet.
Thank you so much! I keep hoping for the best. I just pray that my child gets over all this madness when the time is right. Thanks!💕
How i have missed this channel of our 'busaa'taker all this time😲😲
Ah Tatu I hope you give hugs to your 18 year old self, truly ❤️❤️❤️
All good now 😊💕
You are a strong woman. Your story and book will help someone.
Thank you! In fact what I did is at the end of the book, I had a therapist dissect my story and educate people on various things and from the feedback I have received, am sure many people will be helped. Thank you 💕
I have soooo many questions. Was there no police report or kidnapping report....was there no escape attempt........was he already married. .........was there a marriage ceremony.......when did the violence begin......sooo many questions.
You are asking questions like a westerner. These things do happen in the west but usually the girl is poor and her family is scared to go to the police because the kidnapper is a criminal. When the criminal is wealthy, he usually just uses them and throws them away when he’s finished with them , like Epstein.
It’s heartbreaking that people, mostly men are allowed to steal a young or any persons life and future.
Hey Vanessa. I wish I could answer all your questions in a single message. It is however too much to fill on here and I did write a book about all this.
Sorry I explained myself in the book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has heard the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
All said, I am well now😀
Yeah, there is always someone who assumes things cannot happen because they are far from the realities of other people 😀
U and me same 😂
Which father will arrest the father of his grand child?
That deed has been done.
She should have been advised on how to enjoy the marriage, bcoz luckily for her, the man is a man of means.
She could have made the most of that relationship & even become a blessing t her family.
But she kept listening to people who tell her that she's too young for marriage, but she may not be too young for a boyfriend.
Uncountable teenage girls get pregnant for fellow teenage boys every day, instead of condemning that, they are condemning a young adult who goes into marriage, that was the root of her problem, she began to see the man as an enemy, instead of an help & lifemate.
Ok,ok continued listening to your story I understand they were your step kids
Waaaaa! What a sad story. Don't know if I should say that your parents failed you, or I need to read your book first. All said am glad you lived to say your story😮😢😮😢
Practically kidnapped and turned into a slave. Being a child at 18 , it did not occur to her that she could say no and resist her kidnapper. Unfortunately some African upbringing of their girls esp., grooms them to go into a marriages of abuse. The parents were poor and with the mentality that the kidnapper had already impregnated her, she was seen as "damaged goods" and they gave up on getting her back. I cant imagine this kind of trauma. So glad that she stood up for herself eventually. I wish her healing and happiness. And i hope that kidnapper gets his karma.
People who can't empathise may assume you could have gotten out but when you feel helpless and useless there aren't many options...
I know!
You are such a beautiful lady, I will check out your story
This is really sad, but I am wondering where your family was in all of this/ why did they not look for you? It's really troubling.
Maybe Paid Off Families. Rich Man In Africa Is Power. My Mother Collected Money Pounds From A Very Rich Chief Dosunmu In Lagos Island And Run To UK. Left Me With The Chief When I Was A Teenager. I Just Let Him Do Whatever He Wants With My Body Since My Mother Already Took The Pounds And Japa To Up. My Father Was In USA 🇺🇸 He Came To Rescued Me To USA. 50 Years Old And Still Struggling With The Experience. My Mother Wasn't Bothered That The Man One Of Those Lodge In Lagos Island. We Are All In USA Now With 6 Siblings And My Mother. She Is Nonchalantly Pretended That Is Not A Big Deal
My goodness tatu. Pole sana
Asante! All is well :)
I am finally here. Hugs Tatu Reginaldah
Women!!!! With or without money please do not stay in an abusive relationship.
YES!!! It's a NOO
Why didn't your father went to the police? Im very sorry you went through this😢 I'm curious...there were not occasions for you to try to escape and go to the police?
They did. Just a long story accelerated by bribery, corruption and post election violence at the time.
Let’s just say that those were very painful days but am here today, happy, alive and living each day like it is the last, and surrounded by love and protection 😀
@@itsrelatableforreal We thank God you're at a happy and safe place now 🙏🏽 ❤️
You so calm and beautiful
Yaa so sad ,we thank God you manage to pull out
This was a crazy man who wanted a maid, he’s a controlling man, young lady you were being abused left right and centre, no love control, control. You did the right thing to leave, poor children.
Aaah what a man! Sometimes am just happy am alive. Wheeew
I’m still wondering why your parents didn’t go to your kid-nappers office and have him arrested?
Joy, Sorry I explained myself in a book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has had the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
It’s a very complicated story with post election violence, bribery and more.
Trust me, my parents did all they could. If you happen to be or read about corruption in Africa, you somewhat understand that it is not the righteous that get justice. It is those with the F$$$ money.
Am alive, living life to the fullest and that is what matters to me😀
@itsrelatableforreal This cannot happen in Nigeria. Took someone else daughter the same way he did without your parents consent ?
That is very sad ,i am glad u got out .did u got your baby back.❤❤
Am okay thanks. No. I stopped fighting with him and the system. Am waiting till she is 18 and can make decisions-we will sure find each other. About 3.5 years to go 😀
You could have run away earlier.
This is quite depressing and disturbing at at the same time. This is a clear case of kidnapp. And nothing is said about it. She was pregnant for 9 months not 9 days…I beg your pardon! What is suppose to be the objective of this video in the first place?!!!
It’s either the truth is not told or the parents are grossly irresponsible!
I agree... Some stuff are not adding up
Her parents were neglectful.. and probably compromised with money.
I don't understand what she's saying. Was she really officially married? She said her father was upset when this man kidnapped her...why she thought her parents would be upset with her? What happened to the man's real wife? Why she stayed in a kidnapped situation and didn't go home? Did she like him and that's why she stayed when she was kidnapped? Is there any development delay? Why is she saying she was married to this man? I don't understand.
She wrote a book and you can find the answer there. Please support her triumph!!❤
Have you met a confused, scared teenager?
I would have found a way to go back home earlier
Sure... am like 🤷
What happened to the 2nd pregnancy which you mentioned about?
Your life story is extremely sad. Hopefully, he will be legally held responsible for what he has done to you. He sounds like a beast. Heartless! Hopefully, you are in a much safer place, physically and emotionally!
Which year was this? Did he lock you in the house?
I assume she got pregnant and also inherited 2 kids who were not hers biologically. Her fear of going home sounds like she was groomed by the man and to some extent made a choice to be with him. It is the adult man’s fault but she probably feels guilty about playing a role in the situation. This is common for young people who are groomed to be willing to participate in their own exploitation. The gaps in her story explain that subconscious feeling of guilt. The true violator is the man but sometimes victims do play a role in creating a situation where they are emotionally coerced.
Tatu listening to the story I think you had a soft spot for this man. You even had a nanny and would go to school and never thought of getting away.
I kinda think it wasn't a kidnap as you make it sound and perhaps that's why your parents any looked for you.
Either she was groomed or her parents had an agreement with the guy
You are a strong woman
Hugs Tatu 💓
Thank you!
You were kidnapped, police 🚨 did not locate you for all that time? Did you try to escape? Your parents knew this man's office, why didn't they go there to find him? Why didn't you try to seek help from the Gyn? I wish you could fill up the gap.
And I thought my life is hard😭😭😭 saying sorry sounds so trite
I would love to read your book. But where can I get it in Nigeria.
I salute your courage girl.
My heart breaks from the little I heard from you about your ordeal. May God heal you.
I shudder to think of my child in that situation.
But why is the man not yet behind bars?
No Amazon ? For book . How do we get book from the Americas.
God bless you my seseta
For me personally this is an official kidnapping and not marriage. Thank God you realized it.
Beautiful woman. Horrendous nightmare you went through.
Can we get book online, in the US ?
Sooo sad🫢. But thank God you broke the cycle of narcissistic isolation and abuse to achieve self-actualisation and self-expression. You are a rare Gem and i appreciate your goodness and the power to express your bitter past and move on interior freedom and joy. Thank you so much for telling your story and inspiring our entire generation 💝💯🤗
What's the title of your book? Your name? The link to Nuria that you've provided doesn't lead directly to your book link.
Hugs Tatu
Bravo💕💕
You are so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
What's the name of the book please??
Do you smile through your pain? Is this a coping mechanism? I’m asking because you told the story that is not a beautiful one with mostly chuckles. I am the same way but deep down in pain.
You answered your own question.
Wait .. what happened to the mans wife.
Did i miss that part
Strong mama, strong!
Danke ❤
Blessings abound and love. 🇯🇲🗽🇺🇸💝🙏🌻
Good story but sad 😢
This was really abusive, i can not handle that kind of pressure 😢
Very sad story,but your parents sold you out to that monster!I mean what power/hold did he have over your father 🧑🏿 🤷🏾♀️.Something not adding up here.im glad you made it out alive!you are beautiful and well articulate lady❤
But you are always 18 ,baby number 1 , 18babay number 2,18,baby number 3,18
she didn't think through the story before recording I guess
2 children for the man - she was "step mom". One biological child.
I don't get it!!
I just don’t understand how she had 3 children at 18 the same age that she was kidnapped. She had triplets?🧐 I also don’t understand why the parents did not react. Why was she scared of going back home when she was kidnapped. The parents would have been elated and not angry. Too many questions in my head.
One biological 2 from his previous “things”
Parents did react. I was just scared because I felt I had let down my parents even though it was not my fault. I was 18. Am twice that age now so I know better.
I’ll see if I can shoot a video to answer all questions
the same things i asked her about
I think the third is her husband 🤷🏿♀️🤣🤣
Same here .. why the hell did she stay😢
My mom had three kids at that age.
Maybe the father knew the deal with this man why he didn't report the case four without her daughter something is fishing
Where did the other 2 children come from? You said you were pregnant at 18 with one pregnancy?
Responded above :)
The man already had a wife before he kidnapped her
Very sorry
You did well by unyoking yourself from hell. The person had a plan from day 1 as follows: Most likely your parents were not as well off (so he could back them off by bribery); you were underage so you had no footing or connection in society -so he was grooming you; he made you pregnant severally to make sure children tie you there; he beat you to instill fear; he kept spies on you to get ahead of your thinking etc etc. Now he was taking the kids away from you to force you to remain - that was the greatest victory in your life and thank you for writing this book and narrating your life on TH-cam. Your children will know the truth INDEPENDENTLY of what he is telling them. Satan is defeated and may all other girls we struggle to help on a daily basis have your courage.
I don’t get it, how can someone seized somebody’s daughter for himself as a wife. Don’t you have police to report to that someone has kidnapped your daughter. Did the man put her in chains, why she didn’t run away. There are too many holes in her story. The man even called the parents to let them know where she was and didn’t make any effort to arrest the man and rescue her.
A domestic violence is a big problem in Kenya and the corruption too. The colonizers makes african leaders frightened and weak. Man have a pover. But it is simmilar to the wealthy world where people can hide behind a friendship and status.
Amd your parents didnt even attempt to report and you never tried to escape?
They did. I see you are Kenyan- you understand how post election violence was. Yeah that time and other things like bribery took place and made it difficult for my parents. Life has changed. All is well and am my parent’s little one so they protect me now with all they have - even though realistically am an adult 😀.
Sorry I explained myself in a book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has had the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
This was slavery not a marriage. I’m so sorry about what you went through it’s easy for people to judge you. But why didn’t you try to run away? Thanks for sharing.
Your parents somehow failed you my dear, why didn't they go with the police from the onset.
Lady you’re young ,you can make it Without this abusive man . Make Jesus your choice , and watch him work it out for you.
Thank you. Am doing fine on my own now many years later