I left my husband and 3 kids and never looked back
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ย. 2023
- I will be telling stories moving forward and sharing life lessons drawn from my own journey. For the future stories to make sense to you, here is back story that will make you piece together parts of the stories.
There is absolutely no glamour in being 'married' at 18. But leaving at 21, let's call it divorce for now, was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Here in lies my story on marriage, love, hate and everything.
For those who would like to order the book, Nuria book store based in Nairobi, Kenya, will be of use.
Nuria book store instagram: @nuria_thehoneststore / nuria_thehoneststore
Instagram : itsrelatablefor...
#life #abuse #viral #viralvideo
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An out of concern comment. Please note that the stories on this channel are less than 30 minutes and in no way cover in details the entire events that happened in 3-4 years. Also, I am not an 18 year old any more - I am about twice that age now and so much has shifted. That said, if you have not had a chance to read my book, and only have 10-20 minute snippets on here, you will come with a lot of bile at the thought of gaps in the stories. While you are right, you need to also understand that I did not have anyone in mind while creating the video and I assumed I was just moving over with my followers from a different platform who have read the stories umpteen times. The negative comments are very unnecessary. If you feel like parts of what you want to understand are missing and you need to understand, give me time, I will maybe do more videos now addressing all your thoughts - maybe. I'd be more concerned about the loved ones near me, making sure no one takes advantage of them, especially people the family deems so close, and also check on people that we feel are going through any form of abuse. Sometimes, they just do not know how to get themselves out. They may need help even when they do not ask for it loudly. Also, be kind - it costs nothing.
😅
You don't need anyone's approval dear and some will understand you while others will judge you. Just know as you tell that many women will understand you and get help from you. Accept the negatives they also have their hurts and may come round. Say a prayer for every clip you make as you will need strength.
O
I remember crying a river while reading ME! Glad that you are now okay and can talk about it.
It’s all good now 😊. Don’t cry💕
@@itsrelatableforrealwhere can I buy your book, am in New York ?
You're unbreakable and unstoppable, I salute you for that. You didn't let him destroy you. That's power right there!!!
May you continue to soar and shine💐
Sometimes we are not fully aware of our strength, until we face our weakness and doubts.Kudos sister.
I don't care how you found yourself in that situation as a teenager & how your parents did or didn't help with your predicament. You made a bold decision to leave in one piece & God bless you for using your life experience as testimony to inspire others🤗💕
Thank you.
I'm so sorry you went through all that.
Yes, having money gives one some freedom.
I need to get your book. Will try to get it through Nuria Bookstore.
Thanks girl! Am okay now and that is what matters. Years later, I am glad am alive and living life to my terms😀
It is well sis! Ended my marriage at 33 with four children… mine was abuse of all kinds. New subscriber here…
It is well!
How are you coping?, ended mine of 7 years with 2 Kids, it's been tough. 4 years down the road
Coping well… thank you, you will be fine, just take one step at a time.
@@erdooinspiringwomen thank you so much 🥂
Hugs my black sister..
Keep the faith
.god will ser you through..
❤❤❤..love from jamaica.
Tatu, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through but I’m grateful that even in the midst of it all, your the voice to the many women who are undergoing this same or even similar situation. I pray for the peace, joy and grace of God to continue to carry you through each day. God bless you 🙏🏿
I just enjoyed listening and u are very calm. Sorry for what you went through, there are some very cruel people out there. Thank God you came out of the mess and you are now ok. Well done and I admire your confidence and commitment to move on
I am inspired by your story. He left me and when he did I found myself. It has been a wonderful journey and at 63 I am still finding myself
Thank you for sharing your story. I'll get a copy of "ME". Honestly men can be pretty aweful. At my first job I was a very young and naive 19 yr old, my boss would call me for dictation at 4:50pm. Why 10 minutes before closing, when most people would be leaving the office? Anyway, in my naivette, I would check my watch and at exactly 5:00 p.m. I would get up and say "my dad has come to pick me up" and would simply stand up and leave. He stopped calling me for dictation before closing. Only in later years did it dawn on me that the man was up to no good. Thank God in my young naive mind 5:00 p.m. meant you go home, no matter what.
He wickedthat is cruel you right to leave
You are a very strong woman. Keep it up.
Thank you! I appreciate it.
Tatu my sister and high school mentor.
Pole for what you went through
It would be interesting to hear the man's side of the story. I am not taking sides but I also find it hard that her parents didn't report the case to the police or local authorities. Did they owe him something and took the daughter as pay back?? Or where they too scared to report the abduction of their daughter? I am a parent and I don't see how I can just sit back and not fight to get my child back! I think part of the story remains untold.
They reported severally. I am sorry when I recorded this, I didn’t factor in all these questions as I had already written a book about it, so was just giving snippets - you can imagine condensing a 3-4 year life to a 30 minute video?
Of course my parents are parents and did what parents could/should do for their children. And bless their souls, they did great amidst political violence to try and locate me. In the future I shall make a video to answer all questions as not everyone has read the book. For clarity, no one owes anyone a dime and so no one was paying by letting their child go :)
My aunt was getting abused by her husband and she told her mom (my grandma) and every time she tried to leave him, my grandma would tell him where she was because “that was her husband”
😂100%. Some African Parent Will Not Take Action As Long As The Rich Man Is Paying Them. I Had A terrible Experience When I Was In Africa As A Teenager. My Mother Took Alot Of Money In Pounds From A Rich Old Man That Is Older Than My Parents In West Africa. She Left Africa To UK With The Money And Left Me With The Man That Sexually Molested Me As A Virgin. I Cried Every Time He Takes Off My Clothes To Touch Me And Lay Naked With Me. I Am Almost 50 Years Old And Still Affected By It Mentally. 2024, My Mother Didn't See Anything Wrong With It. I Will Die For My Only Daughter. People Called Me Mama Bear. My Daughter Teenager In Nursing School And I Still Get Very Paranoid About Her When I See Any Perverted Old Man Trying To Get To Her. Her Parents Didn't Do Enough. That Man Is Someone's Husband. Money Is POWER IN AFRICA. What Happened To Me As A Kid Never Go Away At almost 50 years Old
Exactly, very confusing story. Why didn't her parents come for her? How can they let their daughter live with a family friend that they don't know his home? Funny story for sure.
@@irenerufus7963 it happens all the time unfortunately.. it’s really sad but it’s hard to comprehend when you haven’t personally been through or know people who have. Also when you have a great system of adults in your life it’s even harder to fathom.
I need to understand how the parents didn't call police when the man told the father he had kidnapped his daughter?
Me too❤
I would have found a way to go back home earlier
Thanks!
My Darling so sorry you had to go through that situation. I understood what you have said. You were a child yourself! Don't let the negative comments bother you. Until a person walks in another person's shoe they could and will never understand. The Keyboard Warriors, Social Media Police, Haters /Talking Heads are doing their job. Can't help themselves. You are beautiful and Super Gorgeous. Nuff Respect to you my Dear.! 👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
What a story. Glad you're now a testimony. I have so many questions but that's not important, what's important is that you came out alive and well.
God bless and happy you are in a better place.
Thank you, be blessed too 😀
What a traumatic experience at a young age, glad you'd the courage to finally walk away. May God continue to lead you
Thank you! I can genuinely say I have come a long way and am in a better place. Thank you 💕
Amen 👋 🙏 God is good and he is a deliverer provider a way maker
Evidently not all men are monsters but we need to give more room for people to talk about their experiences without calling them liars or saying they deserved, what did they do to provoke the other person etc. Men suffer too, but because of the same stigma most don't speak up especially when they were abused by a fellow man, example the whole P Diddy saga. People are going through a lot and can't talk. The saddest part is when young impressionable people are put in situations bigger than their age in a world that doesn't care, then when you are 30 and speak up they'll say you were grown and had a choice 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ it's really sad
I agree
True
100%accurate
Hopefully you will be able to create a career for yourself and get back your child. In the meantime keep praying, God will bless you and give you the strength to go forward.
Waaaaa! What a sad story. Don't know if I should say that your parents failed you, or I need to read your book first. All said am glad you lived to say your story😮😢😮😢
I am finally here. Hugs Tatu Reginaldah
Thank God you are happier, alive and a better person today.
Mmmh I really would love to read your book to understand your story very well!
Honestly i don’t understand why your family let you stay for the four years!
That is very sad ,i am glad u got out .did u got your baby back.❤❤
Am okay thanks. No. I stopped fighting with him and the system. Am waiting till she is 18 and can make decisions-we will sure find each other. About 3.5 years to go 😀
Yaa so sad ,we thank God you manage to pull out
I have soooo many questions. Was there no police report or kidnapping report....was there no escape attempt........was he already married. .........was there a marriage ceremony.......when did the violence begin......sooo many questions.
You are asking questions like a westerner. These things do happen in the west but usually the girl is poor and her family is scared to go to the police because the kidnapper is a criminal. When the criminal is wealthy, he usually just uses them and throws them away when he’s finished with them , like Epstein.
It’s heartbreaking that people, mostly men are allowed to steal a young or any persons life and future.
Hey Vanessa. I wish I could answer all your questions in a single message. It is however too much to fill on here and I did write a book about all this.
Sorry I explained myself in the book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has heard the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
All said, I am well now😀
Yeah, there is always someone who assumes things cannot happen because they are far from the realities of other people 😀
U and me same 😂
For me personally this is an official kidnapping and not marriage. Thank God you realized it.
People who can't empathise may assume you could have gotten out but when you feel helpless and useless there aren't many options...
I know!
Congratulations sis, you survived a narcissist.
Hugs Tatu 💓
Thank you!
Sad story of many girls who never talk about it. You Need to write a book.
She has
😂😂😂
@@eunicechege1103 Great
My goodness tatu. Pole sana
Asante! All is well :)
I would love to read your book. But where can I get it in Nigeria.
I salute your courage girl.
My heart breaks from the little I heard from you about your ordeal. May God heal you.
I shudder to think of my child in that situation.
But why is the man not yet behind bars?
I don't understand what she's saying. Was she really officially married? She said her father was upset when this man kidnapped her...why she thought her parents would be upset with her? What happened to the man's real wife? Why she stayed in a kidnapped situation and didn't go home? Did she like him and that's why she stayed when she was kidnapped? Is there any development delay? Why is she saying she was married to this man? I don't understand.
She wrote a book and you can find the answer there. Please support her triumph!!❤
You are a strong woman. Your story and book will help someone.
Thank you! In fact what I did is at the end of the book, I had a therapist dissect my story and educate people on various things and from the feedback I have received, am sure many people will be helped. Thank you 💕
This was a crazy man who wanted a maid, he’s a controlling man, young lady you were being abused left right and centre, no love control, control. You did the right thing to leave, poor children.
Aaah what a man! Sometimes am just happy am alive. Wheeew
Greetings! Watching from Baltimore, Maryland, USA. After listening to your story, my heart goes out to you. But mostly your child these reach children lies are hanging in the balance meaning they will be abused at some of their lives. All you can do is pray to God for this man to change and surrender his life to Christ . I am happy you got out of this terrible relationship, so you can heal . May God Almighty give you his peace , and heal you from the crown of your head to the souls of your feet.
Thank you so much! I keep hoping for the best. I just pray that my child gets over all this madness when the time is right. Thanks!💕
Very sad to know that women are criticizing other women. I was a victim of domestic violence too. All those women who are criticizing her are criticizing her because you have not gone through that nightmare. Thank God you chose well, but that doesn't give you the right to criticize or doubt. That's why you don't understand. Don't criticize if you haven't experienced it or know the full story. There are parts within the story of a woman who has been a victim of domestic violence that has remained between God and the woman. That part of the story is so sad, embarrassing that it will never be known or told.
You are indeed a survivor. I can relate with aspects of your story as a survivor and as a lawyer I also run a woman rights advocacy Organisation.
Deep down in us all we have the resillience to turn our challenges in to sucess stories. Cheers to the resillience of the human spirit. We must all remember that abuse thrives in the cycle of silence. Lets break the cycle of silence by telling empowering stories
Wives who have access to the money must always take money out to start a new life don't just walk out empty.but those abusive husband shall never have peace on earth until death hell shall be their portion
Exactly! “Karma has no Menu, it will serve you what you deserve”
If u take out money in excess he will know and beat u more, worse
This is quite depressing and disturbing at at the same time. This is a clear case of kidnapp. And nothing is said about it. She was pregnant for 9 months not 9 days…I beg your pardon! What is suppose to be the objective of this video in the first place?!!!
It’s either the truth is not told or the parents are grossly irresponsible!
I agree... Some stuff are not adding up
I just don’t understand how she had 3 children at 18 the same age that she was kidnapped. She had triplets?🧐 I also don’t understand why the parents did not react. Why was she scared of going back home when she was kidnapped. The parents would have been elated and not angry. Too many questions in my head.
One biological 2 from his previous “things”
Parents did react. I was just scared because I felt I had let down my parents even though it was not my fault. I was 18. Am twice that age now so I know better.
I’ll see if I can shoot a video to answer all questions
the same things i asked her about
I think the third is her husband 🤷🏿♀️🤣🤣
Same here .. why the hell did she stay😢
My mom had three kids at that age.
Strong mama, strong!
Danke ❤
What happened to the 2nd pregnancy which you mentioned about?
God bless you my seseta
So, where are you now? It's not very clear in the video...pole sana, mamangu. I was born in Mombasa Kenya and educated in Nairobi but I've been in Canada now for almost 50 years. I feel your pain.
God bless you 🙏
Am good now! I live and work in Dubai. Emotionally better. Things get aligned bit by bit… it is well 😀
Blessings abound and love. 🇯🇲🗽🇺🇸💝🙏🌻
This is really sad, but I am wondering where your family was in all of this/ why did they not look for you? It's really troubling.
Maybe Paid Off Families. Rich Man In Africa Is Power. My Mother Collected Money Pounds From A Very Rich Chief Dosunmu In Lagos Island And Run To UK. Left Me With The Chief When I Was A Teenager. I Just Let Him Do Whatever He Wants With My Body Since My Mother Already Took The Pounds And Japa To Up. My Father Was In USA 🇺🇸 He Came To Rescued Me To USA. 50 Years Old And Still Struggling With The Experience. My Mother Wasn't Bothered That The Man One Of Those Lodge In Lagos Island. We Are All In USA Now With 6 Siblings And My Mother. She Is Nonchalantly Pretended That Is Not A Big Deal
Sooo sad🫢. But thank God you broke the cycle of narcissistic isolation and abuse to achieve self-actualisation and self-expression. You are a rare Gem and i appreciate your goodness and the power to express your bitter past and move on interior freedom and joy. Thank you so much for telling your story and inspiring our entire generation 💝💯🤗
No Amazon ? For book . How do we get book from the Americas.
Which year was this? Did he lock you in the house?
Ah Tatu I hope you give hugs to your 18 year old self, truly ❤️❤️❤️
All good now 😊💕
Why didn't your father went to the police? Im very sorry you went through this😢 I'm curious...there were not occasions for you to try to escape and go to the police?
They did. Just a long story accelerated by bribery, corruption and post election violence at the time.
Let’s just say that those were very painful days but am here today, happy, alive and living each day like it is the last, and surrounded by love and protection 😀
@@itsrelatableforreal We thank God you're at a happy and safe place now 🙏🏽 ❤️
As a mother, no one will do that to my daughters and live to tell the story.And I don't care who they are. Although the situation made you stronger and it was your cross to carry, our responsibility as mothers is to protect our children, and you should have been protected.
Good story but sad 😢
And I thought my life is hard😭😭😭 saying sorry sounds so trite
You so calm and beautiful
Your life story is extremely sad. Hopefully, he will be legally held responsible for what he has done to you. He sounds like a beast. Heartless! Hopefully, you are in a much safer place, physically and emotionally!
You could have run away earlier.
You did well by unyoking yourself from hell. The person had a plan from day 1 as follows: Most likely your parents were not as well off (so he could back them off by bribery); you were underage so you had no footing or connection in society -so he was grooming you; he made you pregnant severally to make sure children tie you there; he beat you to instill fear; he kept spies on you to get ahead of your thinking etc etc. Now he was taking the kids away from you to force you to remain - that was the greatest victory in your life and thank you for writing this book and narrating your life on TH-cam. Your children will know the truth INDEPENDENTLY of what he is telling them. Satan is defeated and may all other girls we struggle to help on a daily basis have your courage.
Hugs Tatu
Do you smile through your pain? Is this a coping mechanism? I’m asking because you told the story that is not a beautiful one with mostly chuckles. I am the same way but deep down in pain.
You answered your own question.
You are so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
Very sorry
Beautiful woman. Horrendous nightmare you went through.
This was really abusive, i can not handle that kind of pressure 😢
Lady you’re young ,you can make it Without this abusive man . Make Jesus your choice , and watch him work it out for you.
Thank you. Am doing fine on my own now many years later
I’m still wondering why your parents didn’t go to your kid-nappers office and have him arrested?
Joy, Sorry I explained myself in a book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has had the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
It’s a very complicated story with post election violence, bribery and more.
Trust me, my parents did all they could. If you happen to be or read about corruption in Africa, you somewhat understand that it is not the righteous that get justice. It is those with the F$$$ money.
Am alive, living life to the fullest and that is what matters to me😀
@itsrelatableforreal This cannot happen in Nigeria. Took someone else daughter the same way he did without your parents consent ?
This was slavery not a marriage. I’m so sorry about what you went through it’s easy for people to judge you. But why didn’t you try to run away? Thanks for sharing.
Why didn’t you report it to the police?
I did report (sorry I won’t go into details- I wrote a book about this and it has details).
Thanks for your concern :)
To answer your 2nd question, children from his other relationships - he stays with all his kids.
@@itsrelatableforreal ..........using young women as breeding machines!!!
Some people are just narcissistic.😢😢If you r there and you r such just know you are a disappointment to humanity.😢😢😢
I’m sorry you went through that 😢.
Some stories just annoy me, she had so many chances to get help from the parents but didn’t. Being young is awful sometimes.
Where did the other 2 children come from? You said you were pregnant at 18 with one pregnancy?
Responded above :)
The man already had a wife before he kidnapped her
Wait .. what happened to the mans wife.
Did i miss that part
He commited a crime against you and your parents. No one should judge you. I dont understand the laws or customs in other countries, but I can tell that you were not prepared for this. A husband is to love, protect and provide, he did not do this, or respectfully get permission, or the blessing of your parents. By the laws of my land, he kidnapped and gr aped you. He belongs in prison. You did not need to obey him, or care for his children. No shame or blame on you, he was wrong and evil. A child born of assult does not make it a real marriage. I dont need any background to know this. I am 68 years old.
You were kidnapped, police 🚨 did not locate you for all that time? Did you try to escape? Your parents knew this man's office, why didn't they go there to find him? Why didn't you try to seek help from the Gyn? I wish you could fill up the gap.
Maybe the father knew the deal with this man why he didn't report the case four without her daughter something is fishing
Sounds incredible
5:40.........Total betrayal!!!!!
No no no lady yet you have older sisters???? Such an educated girl with well informed parents baby girl no,
Even me I refuse this story
Amd your parents didnt even attempt to report and you never tried to escape?
They did. I see you are Kenyan- you understand how post election violence was. Yeah that time and other things like bribery took place and made it difficult for my parents. Life has changed. All is well and am my parent’s little one so they protect me now with all they have - even though realistically am an adult 😀.
Sorry I explained myself in a book I wrote - my bad I assumed this is my small Facebook community that has had the story over and over again, so I always find myself not explaining so much🙈
You are so beautiful! Say no to home violence. I need glasses like yours. Any leads???
Who are the other 2 children. Borrow phone and call parents.
You wrote a book ... and you are telling us the story
Women do go through a lot, you think yours is worse till you hear another persons story. It is well darling but i suggest you keep in touch with your child though.
I don't still understand why people don't speak out whenever they had the opportunity. She should have been open up to the gynaecologist. I'm sorry, why calling him your husband when you were not legally given to him by your parent. Many questions about this story.
He is a narcissist. Glad you are ok
Thanks. Am okay :)
She was not supposed to be married at that age
2023, He lowered you to his home. He raped you, beat you, and held you against your will he was never your husband. How in your mind to be afraid to return home because you felt your parents would punish you, how? The man told your parents he took you. Your parents knew it was against your Will what that man did to you. Try to stop referring to him as your husband, He was a kidnapper and a rapist. You pray your daughter is not messed up mentally. I am happy you had the strength to walk away.
The reference is just to make the story easy to follow. No attachments. I might do a video answering all these questions. Thank you!
He Was Someone's Husband Not Her Husband. A Married Kidnapper Was Never Her Husband
No not adding up at all, too many things not making sense
You lived as an adult while you were a child. But it's fine God is in control
But you are always 18 ,baby number 1 , 18babay number 2,18,baby number 3,18
she didn't think through the story before recording I guess
2 children for the man - she was "step mom". One biological child.
I'm confused. Why are you a mother figure to his kids? What happened to his wife?
She told you: the man keeps the children from any relationship he has. She ended up with 2 of the children he had by 1 or 2? women plus the one she had for him. That's how she became the mother or 3 children.
WHAT KIND OF PARENTS YOU HAVE OOOH.I CAN NOT DO LIKE THIS TO MY GIRL.
Two of them were her husband's kids
There is no police in that country?😭