The hard part for me was guilt...could I have done more, what could I have done differently. It took me many months to stop rolling downhill. Even knowing that I was a faithful.husband putting everything I had I to the marriage.
It definitely made me call on God in a different way....for the first time in my life I didn't have anything left to fight with......🙌🏽Jesus!!!.......Jesus!!!! Only thing that kept me from falling off the deep end.
I can definitely relate to this story! I was also a Pastor's wife, married for 19 years with 2 teenage daughters and received an announcement from him that he wanted a divorce! After accepting the finality of the divorce because he immediately married someone else, I am much better for it! Very happy and retired now! This happened 25 years ago! I married again to a wonderful man but after 6 years, he died in 2010 and I am happily still single today and loving all 7 of my grandchildren!!!
Maybe there's too much of an expectation on pastors as husband and the pressure from society for them to be perfect. I was married to a God fearing mam, who made a 360 turn and became something totally different. With 2 small boys, he chose to leave to be with another woman. Chose to live in the world. It broke me and my boys. We have healed. Mothers are strong. I didn't know it until my marriage broke.
Been married for 43 years, married at age 18 me, and 19 my wife. Almost got divorced in the early years but a marriage encounter weekend was the catalyst for change, and we have grown older together and doing ministry together for almost 40 years. I know several pastors who have divorced their wives, it’s very sad because divorce breaks up families and breaks up spiritual families too. I pray for all of you that have gone through or you’re going through it right now, there is life beyond divorce, God bless you all.
Thanks, I have taken a decision to go through divorce and try life on my own. It has been a painful journey. I don't blame anyone, the situation is bringing back my childhood trauma. All I want is peace and healing for my whole family.
My story is similar to yours in years known and married, number and age range of children, and ministry work ( smaller platform yet known). What I am now having trouble understanding is the why. I do not understand why my ex decided our marriage was over and why he thought it was okay to have an affair. I fell cheated out of the opportunity to try and save our marriage. And when I asked for explanation I get vague jumbled responses and stuff that happened in high school when we were dating. Then he would shut the conversation down. So I am stuck not knowing what I did wrong or what I could have done differently. So I search and watch videos to help me move forward. I did not see a divorce coming. I missed the signs. That’s my story.
How can a man who serves God end up divorced? It is not possible. The devil attacks marriage because it is the one construct of God that perpetuates life and good success.
@MyeshaChaney thank you for your transparency. I felt your story to my core because I recently went through a "d" at the end of the pandemic. It was so painful because we have 2 small daughters under 6 yrs old. We we're together for 15 years and married for 9 years. The day we left the courthouse, he called me and left a 4 min voice note saying I can't believe we're really divorce. I cried my eyes out while grabbing our wedding album, turning every page and crying harder and harder until my eyes were puffy. After about 18 months post "d", he realized how miserable he was without me, and wanted to fight to gain me back. (This is after I said NEVER again in this lifetime would I ever get back with this man, God laughed at us). Now after 8 months of therapy, and spiritual counseling he's fully moved back in to raise our children together. We re-dedicated ourselves and will have our 10th wedding Anniversary. We still love each other, and spend more time together on dates, and family outing. God is faithful.
You're very welcome. We're put in some positions to stretch ourselves. Our mess becomes our message. Now we're better and more compassionate towards each other. Key thing too is praying and spending time together@@Myesha
@@trenaromain2817 Amen and thank you very much. Believe when I tell you We both said we would never get back together, then God came down his throne to restore what HE put together. Our daughters and us are happier now more than ever. Keep praying, God always pulls through.
My grand mom used to say that every young person should live alone for at least 2 years before getting into a relationship or marriage. She stated it would allow you to get to know yourself first..
We were a generation that married early, the church is still that place that encourages early marriage to foster holiness and prevent premarital sex and pregnancy. Young women & men dnt get a chance to grow and work on themselves b4 they get married.
It depends on the person. A lot of women get in trouble or are targeted as young women living alone. I actually don't agree with this advice. I think it opens a young lady up to temptation, exposure, and she lacks having family protection there at home with her... if her family was safe. I think a dorm experience with a roommate, campus security, and curfew is more ideal. I never lived alone. I went from my family's home to my husband's covering. We've been happy for 15 years, no major issues. We have 2 beautiful children. Most of my friends also went from family, maybe to dorm with a roommate, back to family, then marriage.
I've been transitioning towards divorce for 3 years. At one point, I was stuck on the time invested. Something my former pastor told me was ,"Quantity doesnt mean quality." People assume because you stay things are well.
@@Myesha Wow thank you for sharing your story? Im glad you are free and got your voice back. Is there any books that you can suggest to read on becoming a wife?🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
@greaterishe7197 so great you are going thru with it because if something has been occuring for so long that you want a divorce, get a divorce because does not make any sense to waste any more years of your life if you are unhappy...life goes on after divorce and maybe you might fight some happiness or at least a peace of mind....never stay in a situation...no matter how many years invested living in misery never turns into happiness....just more wasted time...
She did, and she's so beautiful inside n out. I went through the same. I never thought my marriage would end, but my life was breaking down always trying to be everything to everyone. Also had a daughter in crisis and I had to face the TRUTH. Had so much doubt, confusion and guilt. Thought I would disintegrate. Going through the divorce now.
I guess that's what you call the tearing of the flesh, becuase you both became one flesh, and now something came through to tear you both apart. That will be extremely painful.
@@veggieeater you know; don't you? how bad this hurts. The Word of God has declared God's institution to be precisely what it is -whew! We 'gon need Him -Marriage -not to be entered into lightly.
I wish to experience that one day because right now I'm so fragile, it's a painful thing at times I wonder if I shouldn't go back. Just a month from it
@@sheronsnethembancube2693 It really is hard. Don't be scared to walk through this and don't be afraid of words of others or even in your head. Love love love ya
Divorced after 27 years. When we got married, I swore divorce was not an option. He wanted out but didn't know how to say it, worrying about what people would think. I loved him enough to let him go. Being married made me important. Being divorced made me free!!!! Thank you for sharing. It feels good to know that I am n ot alone. Joy loves company!
I am at the end of my marriage also. The funny thing is after 9 months of marriage therapy, eight months of separation, I realized that when transparency and honesty are only one-sided it was already doomed to fail. His denial and trying to hold on to the imaginery...I have to get out to save my life. I want a marriage that grows and is not stagnant as I am suffocating. Bless you for your truth!
Looking back, did you notice any behaviors he had in the beginning that wound up causing the separation in the future? I'd love to hear your perspective.
I listened to this testimony as a good Man. I recently discovered a secret relationship in my 20 year marriage. Admittedly i have not been a saint. I also created the "be perfect" image. All house have windows. I pleased everyone. At 60 i felt so empty. I felt depressed most of the time. My excuse for staying was always my kids. They are older now. I understand how you got in your position. Your battery died. Pleasing everyone was the real problem. I am glad you transformed your life. This situation is not about gender. Nobody can die for you....proud of you young lady..i reinvented my purpose at 64. I feel free.
I married at 52 for the first time and my marriage lasted 6 1/2 years. I’m celebrating my PEACE! It takes 2, and when the other doesn’t work at it, it’s bound to fail. I’m divorced, living happily ever after! He gave me a biblical out, and I took it. Irreconcilable differences is not one. Because I made a covenant to God I took it seriously. And worked on a bad non threatening relationship, but when I found out he wasn’t faithful ,a biblical reason to divorce , I gave him 5 1/2 months and his actions spoke louder, so I filed and have never looked back. I’m 60 now and I’m enjoying my new normal! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@@Onetruth33it will probably work out well because you can be married for years and at 69, the person could pass and you by yourself at 70.... Being with somebody isn't a promise that they will be with you the whole time. It's very rare that a couple die together and even still, when they put them in ground - they go SEPARATELY.
@@kimberlyreneeallday1974 no, I’ve had a pill out of that box. 😜. God took care of me before for 52 years and he will carry me on home. I am more focused on doing God’s work now. We all should be about our Father’s business the time is now! The world needs God!
You are not married in the sight of God, if your first husband is still alive, you are an adulteress for 25 years. These fake preachers have totally lead MANY astray, and adultery is rampart literally around the world. Marriage is an irrevocable covenant, we are bound to that marriage until death do we part, wasn’t that the vow you took? Did you vow to love your husband until death do we part? We may change our mind but The Lord NEVER changes.
Meesha!!!!!! So many pieces of your story resonate with me: July 1, 2022 my 19 year marriage ended in divorce. You are SO RIGHT that there’s something about turning 40 that shakes you and puts a fire in you that makes you want to live YOUR life and not the one that was created for you by others. August 1, 2020, after initiating a separation; I moved into my own place. This was the first time that I’d had my own bed, my own closet, my own bathroom!!!! After being with my ex husband since I was 16, being a teen mom, a ministry leader, a professional, a community leader; I was just then LIVING for the first time!!! Congratulations ma’am!!!! Welcome to our new!!!! We love it here!!!! Thanks for sharing to bring light to so many spaces!!!
@@KENZIIE_lol they must have rubbed out that "for better or for worse, in sickness and health, to death do us part" section from her vows. I'm not ignoring her discomfort at her situation but read her post again. Is this where we break up a marriage?
@@canwejustloveeachother2550 That's just it - a "healthy marriage" is, for the most part, totally subjective. And that's the problem. Some people think an unhealthy marriage "growing apart". Others think an unhealthy marriage is "no longer in love". So it's subjective. Now I can understand things like affairs, violence and all that. But for the most part, it's not the case in the div.
I divorced after 20 years. It’s going on 1 year this month and it’s been a HUGE PROCESS!! I was 20 and he was 19 and to start over trying to figure out who I am has been a journey. We have two kids, my son is 20 and my daughter is 18. I had never lived on my on so I had to totally trust and depend on God. I am grateful for my circle my family and church family. Still navigating this whole thing but I am happy. Still shed tears, still sad at times but I’m excited about my future. Thank you for sharing your story.
God will be faithful to you. Pray unceasingly. Honor God and when you mess up, run to Him. I am on the other side of where you are and can tell you, God brought my children and I through it all, successfully. It was very, very hard, but my knee stayed bowed before Him and He gave me supernatural wisdom and provision. Best of all, I grew closer to Him every day.
@@MelanieGraceTV thank you so much for the encouraging words. He is definitely carrying me thru and I too stay before. It’s the only way I know to go THRU and that’s with Jesus guiding me every step of the way! Blessings to you❤️
As a single lady, my heart breaks reading through the comments. 47 yrs, 36, 32, 25, 19, 18, 15 year marriages ending in a divorce 😭😭😭. Im sadden but a divorce is better than death. May God continue to show us mercy.
But the problem is you people you always find men who are not ment to be yours the only thing is to marry your best friend who knows what you love , what makes you happy and who loves you
I divorced after 14 years of marriage;however, the writing was on the wall many years before I called it quits. I tried my best to hang on and fight but I learned that I was fighting for a marriage by myself and it caused so much resentment. I had a hard time grasping what it would look like and how to be happy alone. I lost so many so called friends because after I told my husband it was over he went on a bashing spree. Anybody that would listen and gossip with him were the people he relied on but never told the truth which was infidelity by him ruined our marriage. I lost many so called friends because of this. I was severely depressed but couldn’t stay in depression because I had two young men that needed me. I quickly got to a space after fighting depression to stand tall, firm, and walk in grace. God has always had my back and still do and because of that I was able to come out better and whole.
@@Thedevilisaliar23. Luv, that’s just part of the story, too much to write. When a man is embarrassed and has to eat his words, he will go through great lengths to be the victim. According to the streets I was broke and busted but I was the six figure bread winner. So when he had to move into his deceased mother’s home, he couldn’t take it. He had to eat those lies and try to come up with new ones to destroy me. So, last time I bumped into him, he was 60 lbs heavier so he still eating those lies. Lol😂😂
Thank you for sharing. I have been divorced and I remember realizing that I had fell in love with a story I created but did not give myself time to consider the reality of what was. There are so many things that I learned about myself and God.
I know the feeling, thanks for sharing. My 32 year marriage just ended in divorce. Picking yourself ip and starting over putting one foot in front of the other is not easy but with God it is possible! Thanks for sharing your story.🙏🏾 praying for your continued faith and. Hope in God🙏🏾🙌🏾
For me going through my divorce was like planning a funeral and the pain of losing a person that you have poured so much love into and knowing that the person is still living is DEVASTATING and after many nights of crying and finally being alone you just wake up one day and thank God that you made it through the storm of life and have been given a chance to live your life for YOU
My spouse of 13 yrs asked for a divorce in 2019 out of no where. So here i am now the end of a 2nd marriage still trying after 2yrs asking God for help . Thanks for sharing your story.
I'm currently in an almost 24 year marriage and I can totally relate to the illusion of perfection, and the showing up for everything, and everyone else except you. This resonated with me so much that I wept while listening. Thank you for your open and honest transparency.
She and her preacher husband were on a Reality TV show called Preachers of LA in Los Angeles years ago. I came across the show while Channel surfing and thought they were a wonderful couple. I'm sad to hear they divorced.
There was an episode where Lady Myesha emasculated her husband on national TV as he pondered whether to get a tattoo or not. There is a place to straighten out your dude but its behind closed doors, not when literally hundreds of thousands of eyes are you.
Glad she is recovering from her divorce. On the show they gave the appearance of the "perfect couple" which is often not real. Many Blessings to you, Myesha. I waited way too long to get a divorce and stayed in a miserable marriage. Now I am free. Hallelujah!
Please pray and ask God according to His perfect will and His divine Word to lead and guide you! Married 38 years and we still have to work at and sometimes it is working at it differently. I pray for you and you pray for me Sis ❤!
I’ve never been married and have a deep desire to be married, but this video still touched me. Your transparency and authenticity was truly appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll be praying for you, and ask that you do the same for me in my journey in hoping to be married.
This touched me in so many ways. Thank you for your strength and courage to speak on these things. So many women are suffering in silence and need to hear someone speak out and to know they aren’t alone. I could no longer put on the fake smile and try to portray the perfect picture marriage. Despite my sins, I know that God will always be with me.
I am at the end of my 2nd divorce. You shared this with such class and dignity. I’m so proud of you for being you! Thank you for encouraging me today! 🧡🧡
@@TheNiloticEmpressJudgmental much? Self-righteous much? Leave her alone! You don’t know the specifics of her marriages and divorces. So how about just expressing compassion and empathy. Going through a divorce at any time is painful enough without some stranger daring to dictate, unsolicitedly, what one should do next.
Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your journey. I was never married. But in 2020 I had my first child at 30 and became a single mother. I never imagined that for my life, so being hurt and embarrassed that my “perfect” life didn’t work out is something I struggle with everyday. It’s been 3 years and the struggle is still very much there. I feel like I failed my son. But I know that god has other plans for us.
Thanks for sharing!! Oh no, you did not fail you son at all. Love him completely. You can do this. Another beautiful soul will come along and support you and your son.
When Tony Gaskins says, if a man leaves you never go back because if he left you in dating, he’ll leave you in marriage. This is one of those examples. He is 99% right about everything I’ve heard him teach in the past 4 years. Mercy. I too was a pastors wife, he never left me but there were other indicators.
But he didn’t leave her did he, or did I miss something? She changed and wanted more…maybe that was due to lack of love but even that wasn’t really clear.
❤I am still deeply in love with my hubby after almost 20 years, but I understand people’s needs change in a marriage. We are best friends and continue to work on our love and marriage l.Thank you for sharing.
I’m sad your marriage didn’t work out you both seemed to be great ppl. However, I’m also glad you are overcoming with grace. You undoubtedly will help a lot of ppl.
@@LovelyandSavedHe’s under many comments taunting women and I’m randomly seeing it. He’s scared he can be left by a woman so he’s trying to make women feel bad. Red pill boys like boys but want women for pleasure. Men are whos approval he seeks…particularly unhealthy men
Wow!!! No one could have shared this with so much grace. You are a beautiful Christian. I could say sooooo much more but I applaud you in so many ways. I don't know divorce and I'm so grateful to God for the man he gave me. We have had our trials....BUT GOD. I pray for you , your children and your ex-husband . Thank you for sharing.❤❤❤❤
Wow, I was married 36 years. I tried everything but because early in life my maternal mother abandoned 3 children as an adult I had separation issues. That's why I stayed. I have been divorced 2 yrs and putting my pieces back together with peace and love. Thanks for sharing your testimony. We are not alone. Be blessed.
Myesha, your story is so incredibly valuable, even beyond the divorce. I’ve never been married, but I had parents who were in ministry, and just like your daughter, I made my 1st attempt to take my own life in 10th grade. But my parents never had the awakening or realization you did. They continued the act for years until my mother had a mental break…from the resentment…and attempted to unalive my father. You don’t know how extremely wise and brave you are! There’s so much that I could say, but I’ll end here. Just know that yes, it’s absolutely scary at times to be on your own, but you took your power back! You set boundaries, and above all you chose to love yourself. My prayer for you is that your latter years are far greater than anything you experienced in the former. You have your wings now! #FLY 🦋❤🙏🏾
@@Myesha I’m more than familiar with the world that you were in. The years of service, but when you were in need, not having the support. The cross you’ve carried is heavier than most would ever comprehend on the outside looking in. My dad lived for 7 years after his injury, paralyzed. He was both a minister and a judge in our city. Everyone left. Everyone. And I saw him struggle with that internally and in his faith. After more than 30+ years of SERVICE. But I love the fact that you haven’t lost your LIGHT. Your assignment is just beginning. 💕
Interesting, I saw my mother take so much from my father. I vowed, I would NEVER and I don’t. Taking a lot only enables abusers. If you begin to abuse me, I immediately plan an exit.
There is God's perfect will for your life and then there is His Permissive will. Myesha's marriage was His permissive will. God knows every one of us even before we are formed in the womb Jer. 1:5 He knew Myesha's children before she was married All marriages between a man and a woman according to scripture, are contracts that God allowed. If He allowed it, he joined them together till d3ath parts them (Romans 7:2-3). True disciples know this so her husband was not a true disciple. Seemingly, the husband controlled every aspect of his wife's life. That is not love. If you are in an abusive relationship then separate and remain that way
@@maycomaA lot of times people tend to go off their emotions and not seeking the Lord for a spouse and even in most cases they truly are not Saved and living for the Lord, just because they go to church doesn't mean that they belong to the Lord, it's just them putting a marriage together the Lord is not in it. ❤🙏
Whew, what a blessing your testimony is. The last 5 years of my life have been so hard, especially after losing my mom while I was pregnant in 2019. I had to leave my son's father last October after he's chosen the path of drugs and became abusive. I didn't love myself and had 2 kids out of wedlock (never been married and turn 35 on the 18th) so I stayed in that horrible relationship until God literally snatched us apart. Now I'm a single mom of 3 and fighting my way through a depression while raising 2 autistic toddlers with my older sister's help. This is the scariest season of my life but I'm still putting one foot in front of the other. I, too, look perfect to a lot of people because I have a really nice car, my kids are always put together and I have a lot of the material things most people can only dream of. What no one sees is how much I cry and have to breathe through suicidal thoughts because life feels so overwhelming. Now my son's father is strung out on drugs, engaging in homosexual activities with a very toxic woman who's exposed his tape engaging in these acts. I keep believing life is going to get better and I hope one day it does. I finally learned the lesson to not deal with guys who are unequally yoked. I now believe being single is better than staying in a horrible relationship that doesn't serve me in any way. Thank you for your testimony and for being so open with this process 🙏🏾.
Whether is he equally yoked is important as well,but what is most worrisome,is the mind of most people out there now. So you must ask and watch more closely to see if there are certain lines you blurring because of affection. God help you through this season. God help you heal the kids.
@sose9601 yes, I'm not even worried about dating anymore. The mindset of a lot guys is scary so I just prefer to be single and at peace raising my kids and working.
I was married for 17 years, we were members of our church for the same time. He never loved me and I thought I had enough love for the both of us. But I didn’t. We were oil and water and it affected our kids. Your story is my story. I never wanted a divorce, everyone was ready for me to leave but me. Then a shift happened and time was up. All I had was Faith, my kids and two feet. Lost a big chunk of me and had to grow from the little speck of light inside of me, somehow some way, on top of coping with the loss of my mother in law and almost my brother. It was a lot. But I prayed to get out of the darkness and it happened. One positive step at a time. Listened to good music, buy things that gave me joy, get in the car and take long drives. Anything that got me to the next day, and the next month and the next year and constantly looking for positive reinforcement. Pretty soon I saw my growth, strength and ability to carry on without him. I never looked back. I told him that if I ever left, he’d never see me again and I held true to that. Divorce was the path I took to get me back and fight for me. I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have ever been so determined to make something so toxic work. Blessings to everyone on this thread.
WOW sounds like me now.. currently about to file. He never fell in love with me. I had all the move and thought it was being reciprocated. This toxic life affected my sons, especially my eldest. I'm going to love forward and never look back..I need peace again. Thank you very much for sharing ❤
Currently divorcing, almost 25 years got married at 21 no kids.Should have left sooner.. Such a weird time in my life I'm so used to being a wife.. I thought I would be more distraught but God gave me strength that I never knew I had. I literally can look at him and not feel nothing and that is kind of weird to me, because I really fought to keep the marriage together.
Hey Myesha. I’m divorced after a 30 year relationship and 19 years of marriage. Learning how to operate as a healthy person was a challenge and knowing it’s okay to grieve what I lost. I’m thankful to God that I’ve moved on but it’s a process of recognizing when I’m bringing something from my past into my present. Great video
After years of depending on my husband for 19 years , he got sick this year and i was sick last year. Anyhow God had to sit me down and face my demons and made me reflect that our marriage was not as perfect as o once made it seemed. And now im depending on God to help me and get through this . Were still married as of right now but i feel that shift of wanting more and be on my own and learn what i like and dont like . Its a process but im fighting.
Divorce journey is different for everyone. My Divorce is finalizing and I am happy unlike I have been for 20 yrs. The Lord warned me many times yet I thought love would win over all the obstacles but instead the enemy used my disobedience to try and destroy me (even tried to end my life) but God is so Merciful and gave me a way of escape and the Victory of surviving with our son (now turning 20). I think of your daughter and I realized how much I was protective untuitively because his father was distant and abrasive emotionally. I was determined that my sensitive child would survive this chaotic world. We sit and talk about those times without tears now (6yrs since the separation). Blessings to you and yours - I would like to be joined with women in the same Divorce challenge journey. We are stronger together.
I admire your growth. You were my first lady when I moved from Charlotte, NC to Long Beach in 2010. I have always admired you and saw strength, grace and something great in you. I’m back in NC and I always thought about how you were doing over the years. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m inspired to be my best self and to seek out and pursue and have the type of joy, peace and happiness I see in you. I look forward to hearing more of your journey and seeing your growth. You are watering the seeds of my growth with your transparency and I appreciate you.
My father left my mom after over 40 years of marriage in 2021. As an adult daughter, It has been a roller coaster of emotions. This year would be 47 years and they are now going through the divorce process. 😢 I held my parents marriage is such high esteem because of its longevity. Not as an idol, but I was so proud that it lasted through test and time. So this process has been so difficult.
When you've been a yes person for so long, the day you become a normal person and want what is normal for yourself, people will call you wicked names....
PHENOMENAL !! Your healing is real Myesha! Going through a break up myself and I’m relearning myself completely and it has its ups and downs. Sometimes you end up feeling ashamed for failing but I realize it’s not failure it’s just pieces that didn’t fit together ❤
Hi I am really touched about your experience in your marriage. I was married at 18. And now going through a divorce. Married for 42 years. Parents friends relatives. Thought our marriage was perfect. Every body is shocked to hear. I have never discussed anything about my marriage with my parents. I have been through emotional,mental abuse for many years of my marriage. God show me it time to leave. He and continue to watch over me as I going through this difficult time of divorce.
@@jameilsanders1492 until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you will never know what God will tell someone. I'm sure she/he prayed about it for years. Divorce happens after 42 years of marriage because it wasn't working. We try to make things work that God didn't ordain. Sometimes people do NOT CHANGE
Thank you for your courage to share 👏🏽👏🏽. I am going through a divorce and my partner doesn’t want to let go. He doesn’t see me! He only wants what he wants and just believes I am being emotional. He always points out his perception of what I do wrong or what I should do, but never takes responsibility for his actions! I know I can’t go back, but I had the paperwork drawn up but haven’t pulled the trigger!
If there isn't abuse or adultery, I'd fight for the marriage. I've been divorced nearly 16 years and it's lonely. The dating scene? Forget it. Men these days don't know how to court and there are alot of counterfeits and manipulative men. It's been a night and daymare. What do you mean he doesn't SEE you? Why are you divorcing? It's like a death.
My goodness women in ministry go through a lot. It’s as thou you spoke about my life. When I decided to let go after my ex had 3 affairs that I knew about I honestly felt abandoned by my church that I had been in for over 22 years. I served everywhere I could, held prominent positions, taught the word, did Children’s ministry. But when it came to my needs I felt the church turn its back on me , except for a few saints who really treated me like personal family . I felt judged by the church for ending the marriage and I felt shunned by my in-laws for walking away. Little did anyone know the pain I had to endure to maintain the “Face” or the mask as you explained it in your post. Like you I kept it together, told no one, delt with it on my own. So when I realised I was dying on the inside and had to break away that’s when I realised that the people around you want you to keep the status quo so that thier world can feel safe and normal for them, despite what you are going through alone. The part that had me is when you said you had a moment when you had to loose it. Ahhh that part hmmm, I did that on the floor of my church alone with my ex and cried my eyes out whilst my ex watched me break down at the altar . The pain of being me and not being the wholesome me that I wanted was the most intense and desperate experience I have ever had. It’s like a total malfunction of the mind , body and spirit. A total disconnect that only the maker , God himself can fix. If ever thier was a prayer I did with no words but just groaning of the soul was that day when I realised no one could fix ME, and I was alone in this journey. I too had to walk away, I had been humiliated by my own husband in front of my Bishops when he told them after 2 hours of counselling that he had “moved on “. That’s the day I knew I had to summon self love for the sake of my children , my sanity , my life reality. I thank God am healing still, but am stronger, and like you I still had so much love to give and so my story also continues. 🙏Thank you for this message, it really came across my viewing recommendations and am glad I engaged and listen. Am part of this journey and listening to the nuggets of wisdom as we share each other’s experiences. God bless you my sister for being so so honest with it all. You gave full expression of what I personally went through and for that am grateful 🙏
Letting go of your marriage because of adultery is far different than walking away from your covenant because you needed to find self-actualization. If they judged you, that's on them. Live your life and hold your head up high.
I used to attend Antioch in the early 2000's. This I would've never imagined. The last time I seen you guys was when I performed a portion of the poem in the skit for your book Hiding Behind Lipstick. This story was shocking to say the least as I knew how devoted you were to your family and the ministry. May God heal and bless you on your journey as well as pastor Chaney too.
I attended in 2012. I could tell something was wrong. I experienced Myesha as being frustrated but she was definitely pushing hard to keep up the appearance. That is an awful situation to be in.
This is so good! I asked for my divorce and it was because I felt as though I was drowning. We were married for 13 years. He was a good man but we were not good for each other. It hurts. I’m healing but I’m better for it. Thank you for sharing.
That’s a contradictory statement and makes zero sense. If he was a good man and it didn’t work then you failed yourself. Hopefully no kids were involved.
@@enough_is_enough5131 you can marry the wrong person. A good man is one who works hard but don't know how to love his wife. A woman won't leave unless she is not happy. Something was lacking somewhere
Neither one of us can pull that final trigger after 33 years of marriage. But we have been living separately for the last four years. I stayed in a marriage longer than I needed to because my husband is a beautiful man of integrity. But that emotional intimacy had always been a struggle in my marriage. That issue of not being seen, heard, and understood by my husband was a nagging, hurtful, and persistent existence that I lived for decades. I didn’t know exactly what it was, because at that time I didn’t have words to describe the emptiness and Extreme hurt and loneliness I felt . I truly had nothing harsh to say about my husband, except for the fact that he just was incapable of having that emotional connectivity and intimacy that I craved! The more I leaned in, the more he shut down! My authentic need to dive in deeper with our feelings and communication was causing him distress, and he became avoidant and resentful of my “neediness”. But I discovered that my need for emotional intimacy and communication was my non-negotiable. It got to a point where I just couldn’t breathe anymore, and I was withering away and becoming resentful. It got to a point where we just didn’t like each other anymore. Every day that we shared a household and l wore that fake smile, l was colluding in my own self-betrayal. The fear of standing alone in my truth kept me stuck. When l finally asked him to moved out…it was a bottomless grieving pit that I fell into. I literally was on the bathroom floor in a fetal position, crying into the grout for the first year of our separation. There’s so much that has happened within the last few years of our separation that it would take me days to explain it all. But, I’m still healing and I’m doing so much better. I’m getting to know how strong I am as a person and thriving beyond my expectations. 🧘🏾♂️
God was promised a married union - get over yourself .. repent .. help your husband with his intimacy issues through marriage counseling .. if he didn’t cheat then YOU are indeed selfish and wrong for making him leave his own house how selfish
@@Thedevilisaliar23 You are entitled to your opinion. If I am selfish for recognizing that neither one of us were happy in our marriage…then it is, what it is 🤷🏽♀️. Last summer, we vacationed together to commemorate 33 years of marriage. Yes, still married, but living separately, and embracing a new chapter. This option works for us. No bitterness, no drama, and no regrets. 🧘🏽♀️🧘🏿
Wow your story reflects my 17 yr old relationship which ended 4 yrs ago , thank you for sharing it rubber stamped many of my own thoughts , have a great life 😊
Myesha, what an amazing testimony. Thank you for sharing. Through all of the pain, look at how God has positioned you to help those that are single and aspire to be married, married, going through divorce and are divorced. He gets all of the glory in what you have to share with others through your lived experiences! God bless you. 🙌🏽
Myesha, your testimony of growing up in church resonated with me. I've always felt this "pressure" to do everything"right" to the detriment of my well-being. Now I am praying to understand what truly living a bold life for God looks like. I've never been married(yet), and I appreciate your story. I felt grace and compassion as you walked us through your journey. Thank you! 🙏🏾❤
I just was scrolling on TH-cam and I seen your video and I’m so glad clicked on your video. This hit me in so many ways. I have been married for 20 years and for the 1st time I have taken the mask off and be vulnerable and walk in my healing! Thank you for sharing this was everything to me! ❤
You have always inspired me. I see such a powerful woman of God who has allowed Him to use you even during the most heartbreaking season of your life. Thank you for being transparent and teaching us as women that it’s okay to choose ourselves and move forward with grace and a spirit of excellence. May God continue to bless you in every area of your life. You are truly amazing!🥰🙏🏽
Thank you for this video! I ended a relationship with a man that I thought I would marry. And at almost 39, I'm starting over. It's scary but I'm hopeful. Just subscribed to your channel. Can't wait to follow your journey!! :)
You’re wise. Don’t ever marry as a cure nor out of anxiety, words or perceptions of others, nor out of hormones. Wait on the Lord. He will prosper and teach you in the way that you should go❤❤❤
I know exactly how you felt, I got divorced after 20 years of marriage, relocated to a new city and started my transformation as a single mom! One of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
Thank you,! Thank you ! my husband and I have been married for 39yrs and are separated and pending divorce. It happened suddenly and makes no earthly sense (no affairs) he just doesn't want to be married anymore . So I float between shock and anger. and peace, We were the leaders of the marriage ministry and highly admired as a couple . I am in the most dred /angst of people finding out and the questions and gossip that will follow. It helps to know I am not alone
My situation i s similar to yours and we are separated yet living together. Though it has been hard, God has kept me, and I am moving forward with my life. I am working on myself right where I am. Be encouraged!
No affairs .. No that you know Yet, my husband is a minister who use any excuse to divorce me .. few months after I found him in our female friend house
Is hard to believe that your partner secretly has been seen someone and most of the time is in the friend cycle. I still can’t believe , but I asked God to showed me what was underneath and he showed me twice ..My husband was lying sleeping with a old friend
Thank you for your transparency! With all the confirmations in the comments, you ladies need a space to tell your stories so others can be healed and set free..this is just the beginning
My husband left me and the kids and filed for divorce. I did not understand why he had to get to that point in his life but hearing you narrate your story sort of shed some light. I at least have a perspective on how marriage can “suddenly “ end . I chose peace and released him . He blatantly refused therapy and reconciliation. I have not been able to recover from that pain and rejection 4 years later. Slowly rebuilding my life .
Powerful message! I divorced after 6 years of marriage & have since remarried. Thank you for your transparency and sharing your story, I admire you so much more now and loving all of this.
So glad you're on the other side of this its a process. I got divorced in 2021 we also were in the church. Your story resonates with me because alot of our family and friends did not see it coming because we seemed so "perfect" or put on a "pedestal" we didn't ask for. I could go on but will stop there.
Same with us. Church couple put on a perfect pedestal and had many problems. He hated that I went back to school and couldn’t support me at the time. Put a big wedge between us.
I too tried to present a perfect example of life and over the course of many years I crashed. The Lord walked me through all of it especially when all I wanted to do was to escape the pain by lying down and quietly die. 🙏🏽
I’m just now watching this and I’ve been divorced now for 8 1/2 years and it was a marriage where I lost myself and couldn’t be myself. I’ve been through therapy and have had to put the pieces of me back together as well as going through depression. I’m a work in progress but I’m not where I was 8 1/2 years ago and I’m grateful for that 🙏🏾
Myesha I am so glad that you are sharing this! I met you years ago at our church Women’s ministry with my pastor Apostle Bam Crawford! My prayers are with you 🙏🏾
This was so good and fortified. It was so classy and robust. I am encouraged because of your transparency. You genuinely made this about the marriage and the transition of the relationship. I applaud your tenacity, strength, and determination to KEEP GOING! This just poured so much into me. THANK YOU Myesha, you are a jewel Sis.
I am divorced and when it happened it felt like a part of me died. It’s difficult navigating your way back to get yourself on track. I’m happy I’ve come across your video.
This hit home. I think with long marriages it’s hard to let go of the husband for fear of losing the friend. Wish you and your family the best. Hope you can find in each other that friendship, however that looks like for your family.
EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOU AND WHO YOU HAVE BECOME! Knowing that we once shared theatre together, services in worship together up until YOU now getting YOU together and being open, upfront and HONEST!! I applaud you and I’m still blessed to know you and learn from you. Definitely encouraging ME to share my untold story🩵
I needed to hear this. I am a First Lady and feel like sometime I can’t be who I need to be for myself bc I’m that person to everyone else. Blessings to you!
The loudest sign that a relationship is not working is when partners can't PROACTIVELY have uncomfortable conversations( eg finance, aspirations ) and have to put their best foot forward all the time or only have these conversations when its too late. Talk early in all aspects of life , burn out changes you. Your old life dies off and you realise you cant go back People change , couples need to anticipate this , discuss this and embrace this if the marriage would work
I was saddened that your marriage did not live to its fullest potential. However in sharing your story I appreciate the class in which you shared it. I love both you and Pastor Wayne and wish you both the Very Best that God has for each of you. With love, 💙❤️
I have been married for 17 years, and I have been divorced for 14 years. Wow, how time flies! We have so many problems in our marriage that I wanted to be over, but I never thought I would grieve and cry and suffer the loss of this marriage, which is a spiritual bond that is broken. I thought that I would want to get married again my reason so I won't fornication! But not because I love the sanctity of marriage. For me, I love being single. It's a blessing and enjoy being in this stage in life. I've been told so many times you're wasting your life. You'e still young. You still have life in you, Yelp , But I love the single life I can accept the fact that my husband is still alive. And according to the word of God, I cannot get married again. That's okay with me. I am OK with it.
If he cheated and you divorced .. you’re free even if he or you filed .. if you cheated .. repent .. recommit yourself to him and start fresh .. marriage and all freely
I been through the experience you are now sharing… Married to a Pastor for 28 years and becoming divorced. One of the most importance thing to remember is; God will carry you through to complete wholeness. Of course, it will take time to heal, but God. If He done it for me; I know without a shadow of a doubt, He will do it for you. Blessings to you my Sister! 🙏🏽
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story! ☀️ Sometimes divorce is the answer. I’m just a Mental Health Therapist sharing my two cents...I specialize in trauma (most people don’t realize they even have trauma) and faith. I have been blessed to work with many women of faith. I have told so many clients/patients two things 1. Do not divorce during the pandemic 2. Do not divorce until you heal your trauma (each partner separately). Too many Mental Health Therapists are not trained in Trauma, do not consider faith, and do not know how to help couples heal and stay together. Praying for the day that healing of trauma, understanding faith and mental health do not conflict, and keeping marriages together becomes a norm. Praying for healing for anyone reading this! 💛☀️
You my friend are delightful in your story telling. You are a class act and hopefully will help a multitude of people with this platform. God Bless your journey.
I have been a follower for many years. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I can relate in many ways. Recently divorced and buried my father in January of this year. God still is and will always be great!
I kept looking at your picture...thinking why does she look so familiar? This morning it hit me of where I knew you from. I truly thought you had the perfect family, but looks can definitely be deceiving. Thanks for sharing your testimony.
![⭐️( ลอยกระทง 2024 ) Ver. แดนซ์ Remix BY [ ดีเจกิต รีมิกซ์ ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/rMWOLhgXUHc/mqdefault.jpg)
If you have been divorced or are at the end of a relationship lets talk about your experience⬇
I’m going thru a divorce right now .
I’ve been divorced for 5 years and haven’t fully recovered from it. That’s what I’m trying to deal with getting over it.
I’m in one now and I’m a Pastor. This is hard!!!
The hard part for me was guilt...could I have done more, what could I have done differently.
It took me many months to stop rolling downhill. Even knowing that I was a faithful.husband putting everything I had I to the marriage.
It definitely made me call on God in a different way....for the first time in my life I didn't have anything left to fight with......🙌🏽Jesus!!!.......Jesus!!!!
Only thing that kept me from falling off the deep end.
I can definitely relate to this story! I was also a Pastor's wife, married for 19 years with 2 teenage daughters and received an announcement from him that he wanted a divorce! After accepting the finality of the divorce because he immediately married someone else, I am much better for it! Very happy and retired now! This happened 25 years ago! I married again to a wonderful man but after 6 years, he died in 2010 and I am happily still single today and loving all 7 of my grandchildren!!!
I love reading that things turned out well for you 💕
Maybe there's too much of an expectation on pastors as husband and the pressure from society for them to be perfect. I was married to a God fearing mam, who made a 360 turn and became something totally different. With 2 small boys, he chose to leave to be with another woman. Chose to live in the world. It broke me and my boys. We have healed. Mothers are strong. I didn't know it until my marriage broke.
Wow..younhavw such a story!!!
@@naphisa340 Thank you! It is a journey but we do come out better with time!! Be encouraged!
Sorry for your loss
Divorce is hard but staying in a unhappy marriage is a slow Death. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Happy you made it through
Thank you!
Beautiful young lady,God will heal the broken heart,and sunrise will shine again God bless🙏🙏🙏🫶
All works no relationship with the holy spirit.
What about the.Holy Spirit that's the mistakes we all.make Jesus wants a relationship with us
Those who will follow Jesus will suffer .all you said you wanted is just worldly things.
Finally after 5 years, I know without a doubt I made the right decision to divorce him. I am free, whole and healed!
Let the church say "amen!"
Been married for 43 years, married at age 18 me, and 19 my wife. Almost got divorced in the early years but a marriage encounter weekend was the catalyst for change, and we have grown older together and doing ministry together for almost 40 years. I know several pastors who have divorced their wives, it’s very sad because divorce breaks up families and breaks up spiritual families too. I pray for all of you that have gone through or you’re going through it right now, there is life beyond divorce, God bless you all.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks, I have taken a decision to go through divorce and try life on my own. It has been a painful journey. I don't blame anyone, the situation is bringing back my childhood trauma. All I want is peace and healing for my whole family.
My story is similar to yours in years known and married, number and age range of children, and ministry work ( smaller platform yet known). What I am now having trouble understanding is the why. I do not understand why my ex decided our marriage was over and why he thought it was okay to have an affair. I fell cheated out of the opportunity to try and save our marriage. And when I asked for explanation I get vague jumbled responses and stuff that happened in high school when we were dating. Then he would shut the conversation down. So I am stuck not knowing what I did wrong or what I could have done differently. So I search and watch videos to help me move forward. I did not see a divorce coming. I missed the signs. That’s my story.
Talk with a therapist praying for you.@@brandymarblespowell1804
How can a man who serves God end up divorced? It is not possible. The devil attacks marriage because it is the one construct of God that perpetuates life and good success.
@MyeshaChaney thank you for your transparency. I felt your story to my core because I recently went through a "d" at the end of the pandemic. It was so painful because we have 2 small daughters under 6 yrs old. We we're together for 15 years and married for 9 years. The day we left the courthouse, he called me and left a 4 min voice note saying I can't believe we're really divorce. I cried my eyes out while grabbing our wedding album, turning every page and crying harder and harder until my eyes were puffy. After about 18 months post "d", he realized how miserable he was without me, and wanted to fight to gain me back. (This is after I said NEVER again in this lifetime would I ever get back with this man, God laughed at us). Now after 8 months of therapy, and spiritual counseling he's fully moved back in to raise our children together. We re-dedicated ourselves and will have our 10th wedding Anniversary. We still love each other, and spend more time together on dates, and family outing. God is faithful.
I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing this hopeful story.
I’m so happy for you. This is something I pray for everyday. Your story gives me hope. God bless you❤
This is beautiful… I thank God for healing your relationship 🙏🏽
You're very welcome. We're put in some positions to stretch ourselves. Our mess becomes our message. Now we're better and more compassionate towards each other. Key thing too is praying and spending time together@@Myesha
@@trenaromain2817 Amen and thank you very much. Believe when I tell you We both said we would never get back together, then God came down his throne to restore what HE put together. Our daughters and us are happier now more than ever. Keep praying, God always pulls through.
My grand mom used to say that every young person should live alone for at least 2 years before getting into a relationship or marriage. She stated it would allow you to get to know yourself first..
Very good advice.
So true, because the grass always looks, greener on the other side.
And if possible when married should live together without children for a year to learn each other without adding children to the dynamic.
We were a generation that married early, the church is still that place that encourages early marriage to foster holiness and prevent premarital sex and pregnancy. Young women & men dnt get a chance to grow and work on themselves b4 they get married.
It depends on the person. A lot of women get in trouble or are targeted as young women living alone. I actually don't agree with this advice. I think it opens a young lady up to temptation, exposure, and she lacks having family protection there at home with her... if her family was safe. I think a dorm experience with a roommate, campus security, and curfew is more ideal.
I never lived alone. I went from my family's home to my husband's covering. We've been happy for 15 years, no major issues. We have 2 beautiful children. Most of my friends also went from family, maybe to dorm with a roommate, back to family, then marriage.
I've been transitioning towards divorce for 3 years. At one point, I was stuck on the time invested. Something my former pastor told me was ,"Quantity doesnt mean quality." People assume because you stay things are well.
This is so true.
Facts!
@@Myesha Wow thank you for sharing your story? Im glad you are free and got your voice back. Is there any books that you can suggest to read on becoming a wife?🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
@greaterishe7197 so great you are going thru with it because if something has been occuring for so long that you want a divorce, get a divorce because does not make any sense to waste any more years of your life if you are unhappy...life goes on after divorce and maybe you might fight some happiness or at least a peace of mind....never stay in a situation...no matter how many years invested living in misery never turns into happiness....just more wasted time...
Sunken cost fallacy, That's very common.
You did a great job with this testimony....No negative comments against your ex! I commend you
Negative comments about an ex, makes you look toxic and doesn't change the fact your judgement is bad and you chose that person.
I appreciate that
She did, and she's so beautiful inside n out. I went through the same. I never thought my marriage would end, but my life was breaking down always trying to be everything to everyone. Also had a daughter in crisis and I had to face the TRUTH. Had so much doubt, confusion and guilt. Thought I would disintegrate. Going through the divorce now.
@@rayecaters2uEXACTLY!!!!
Yea! But the testimony shows she very self centered.
When I got divorced, it felt like a death. God saw me through it all.
I guess that's what you call the tearing of the flesh, becuase you both became one flesh, and now something came through to tear you both apart. That will be extremely painful.
This is not easy)..
@@veggieeater you know; don't you? how bad this hurts. The Word of God has declared God's institution to be precisely what it is -whew! We 'gon need Him -Marriage -not to be entered into lightly.
Same with me girl!! He is an awesome God! 🙏🏾
End of a relationship or marriage is a death of it. Need to be mourned its a loss.
I've been divorced for ten years and I tell people that "I am happily divorced" & I truly am.
Me too!
Me too!!! It was the best thing that happened to me and I am a man who was in an emotionally abusive relationship.
I wish to experience that one day because right now I'm so fragile, it's a painful thing at times I wonder if I shouldn't go back. Just a month from it
@@sheronsnethembancube2693 It really is hard. Don't be scared to walk through this and don't be afraid of words of others or even in your head. Love love love ya
@rdbridge9376 same here and I have tried to hold it together. I think I want out for the first time.
Man, I'm speechless...Powerful testimony❤ looks like everyone that's married wants to be single, and the single folks wants to be married.
I have been noticing this as well recently.. it’s quite depressing
What's really going on?@@marriettaharrison6266
i agree 100 percent
💯
Sad.
Divorced after 27 years. When we got married, I swore divorce was not an option. He wanted out but didn't know how to say it, worrying about what people would think. I loved him enough to let him go. Being married made me important. Being divorced made me free!!!! Thank you for sharing. It feels good to know that I am n ot alone. Joy loves company!
Thank you for sharing! We are all in this together.
I am at the end of my marriage also. The funny thing is after 9 months of marriage therapy, eight months of separation, I realized that when transparency and honesty are only one-sided it was already doomed to fail. His denial and trying to hold on to the imaginery...I have to get out to save my life. I want a marriage that grows and is not stagnant as I am suffocating. Bless you for your truth!
Your Boaz is out there
Wow, I can relate to your testimony @Chell
@@tinahammond4920😅
Looking back, did you notice any behaviors he had in the beginning that wound up causing the separation in the future? I'd love to hear your perspective.
I listened to this testimony as a good Man. I recently discovered a secret relationship in my 20 year marriage. Admittedly i have not been a saint. I also created the "be perfect" image. All house have windows. I pleased everyone. At 60 i felt so empty. I felt depressed most of the time. My excuse for staying was always my kids. They are older now. I understand how you got in your position. Your battery died. Pleasing everyone was the real problem. I am glad you transformed your life. This situation is not about gender. Nobody can die for you....proud of you young lady..i reinvented my purpose at 64. I feel free.
SO WHAT YOUR POINT, YOU CHEATED SHE CHEATED...GOD DONT GET NO GLORY OUT OF THAT
No ! She tried to play the roll as a man and failed because she's not design to go grind like a man.
It is true that both genders are affected by the same issues. Thankyou for pointing that out and sharing your experience.
@@thomasclarrett1918Wow, I know you didn’t pray before you typed that out saint.
@@WordWoman111 MINE YOUR BUISNESS
I married at 52 for the first time and my marriage lasted 6 1/2 years. I’m celebrating my PEACE! It takes 2, and when the other doesn’t work at it, it’s bound to fail. I’m divorced, living happily ever after! He gave me a biblical out, and I took it. Irreconcilable differences is not one. Because I made a covenant to God I took it seriously. And worked on a bad non threatening relationship, but when I found out he wasn’t faithful ,a biblical reason to divorce , I gave him 5 1/2 months and his actions spoke louder, so I filed and have never looked back. I’m 60 now and I’m enjoying my new normal! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
let us know how that works out when you reach 70.
Would you try it again?
@@Onetruth33A bit harsh
@@Onetruth33it will probably work out well because you can be married for years and at 69, the person could pass and you by yourself at 70....
Being with somebody isn't a promise that they will be with you the whole time. It's very rare that a couple die together and even still, when they put them in ground - they go SEPARATELY.
@@kimberlyreneeallday1974 no, I’ve had a pill out of that box. 😜. God took care of me before for 52 years and he will carry me on home. I am more focused on doing God’s work now. We all should be about our Father’s business the time is now! The world needs God!
I have been through divorce, and it was very painful. With the help of the Lord, I got through it and have remarried for 25 years.
❤❤ u give me hope
No remarriage if your exhusband is alive😮😢
You are not married in the sight of God, if your first husband is still alive, you are an adulteress for 25 years. These fake preachers have totally lead MANY astray, and adultery is rampart literally around the world. Marriage is an irrevocable covenant, we are bound to that marriage until death do we part, wasn’t that the vow you took? Did you vow to love your husband until death do we part? We may change our mind but The Lord NEVER changes.
@@andreacooper1105 Thats right! Preach!!
Hey am going through divorce right want to know if God allows remarriage please reply
Meesha!!!!!! So many pieces of your story resonate with me: July 1, 2022 my 19 year marriage ended in divorce. You are SO RIGHT that there’s something about turning 40 that shakes you and puts a fire in you that makes you want to live YOUR life and not the one that was created for you by others. August 1, 2020, after initiating a separation; I moved into my own place. This was the first time that I’d had my own bed, my own closet, my own bathroom!!!! After being with my ex husband since I was 16, being a teen mom, a ministry leader, a professional, a community leader; I was just then LIVING for the first time!!! Congratulations ma’am!!!! Welcome to our new!!!! We love it here!!!! Thanks for sharing to bring light to so many spaces!!!
THANK YOU FOR THIS...
Men, don't get married. It's not worth it. At any moment, on any whim, they can decide they're not happy and bail. Women file DIV to the tune of 70%
@@KENZIIE_lol🥱 the line is redundant. Women aren't just leaving healthy marriages. Stop your ways
@@KENZIIE_lol they must have rubbed out that "for better or for worse, in sickness and health, to death do us part" section from her vows. I'm not ignoring her discomfort at her situation but read her post again. Is this where we break up a marriage?
@@canwejustloveeachother2550 That's just it - a "healthy marriage" is, for the most part, totally subjective. And that's the problem.
Some people think an unhealthy marriage "growing apart". Others think an unhealthy marriage is "no longer in love". So it's subjective.
Now I can understand things like affairs, violence and all that. But for the most part, it's not the case in the div.
I divorced after 20 years. It’s going on 1 year this month and it’s been a HUGE PROCESS!! I was 20 and he was 19 and to start over trying to figure out who I am has been a journey. We have two kids, my son is 20 and my daughter is 18. I had never lived on my on so I had to totally trust and depend on God. I am grateful for my circle my family and church family. Still navigating this whole thing but I am happy. Still shed tears, still sad at times but I’m excited about my future. Thank you for sharing your story.
God will be faithful to you. Pray unceasingly. Honor God and when you mess up, run to Him. I am on the other side of where you are and can tell you, God brought my children and I through it all, successfully. It was very, very hard, but my knee stayed bowed before Him and He gave me supernatural wisdom and provision. Best of all, I grew closer to Him every day.
@@MelanieGraceTV thank you so much for the encouraging words. He is definitely carrying me thru and I too stay before. It’s the only way I know to go THRU and that’s with Jesus guiding me every step of the way! Blessings to you❤️
As a single lady, my heart breaks reading through the comments. 47 yrs, 36, 32, 25, 19, 18, 15 year marriages ending in a divorce 😭😭😭. Im sadden but a divorce is better than death. May God continue to show us mercy.
But the problem is you people you always find men who are not ment to be yours the only thing is to marry your best friend who knows what you love , what makes you happy and who loves you
I divorced after 14 years of marriage;however, the writing was on the wall many years before I called it quits. I tried my best to hang on and fight but I learned that I was fighting for a marriage by myself and it caused so much resentment. I had a hard time grasping what it would look like and how to be happy alone. I lost so many so called friends because after I told my husband it was over he went on a bashing spree. Anybody that would listen and gossip with him were the people he relied on but never told the truth which was infidelity by him ruined our marriage. I lost many so called friends because of this. I was severely depressed but couldn’t stay in depression because I had two young men that needed me. I quickly got to a space after fighting depression to stand tall, firm, and walk in grace. God has always had my back and still do and because of that I was able to come out better and whole.
I am so happy you kept going. You are a champion.
Wow our experience is very similar! I called it quits after 8 years! May God continue to heal you ❤
@@RCB0107.. Thank you luv and same to you!
For some reason when you said bashing spree i immediately knew the devil had a hold on him and he cheated .. they like making others your enemies
@@Thedevilisaliar23. Luv, that’s just part of the story, too much to write. When a man is embarrassed and has to eat his words, he will go through great lengths to be the victim. According to the streets I was broke and busted but I was the six figure bread winner. So when he had to move into his deceased mother’s home, he couldn’t take it. He had to eat those lies and try to come up with new ones to destroy me. So, last time I bumped into him, he was 60 lbs heavier so he still eating those lies. Lol😂😂
Thank you for sharing. I have been divorced and I remember realizing that I had fell in love with a story I created but did not give myself time to consider the reality of what was. There are so many things that I learned about myself and God.
@cindysharp6863. WOW!!! How insightful..."a story I created.." Too many of us live here!
Yes, this is it! That illusion will get you every time. So glad about your growth.
This😭😭😭 The illusion 😢
I know the feeling, thanks for sharing. My 32 year marriage just ended in divorce. Picking yourself ip and starting over putting one foot in front of the other is not easy but with God it is possible! Thanks for sharing your story.🙏🏾 praying for your continued faith and. Hope in God🙏🏾🙌🏾
I'd you don't mind me asking....what happened....I'm 33 years in and just found out a month ago there is someone else...
@@narnar8915 I am not sure what happened, my then spouse just told me he was getting a divorce, he wants out the marriage. SMH
I always hear people say tell your testimony because you never know who it will touch. My God ❤💯
This!!!!! She’s helping so many people. What an amazing woman such inner and outer beauty 🥰🙏🏽
For me going through my divorce was like planning a funeral and the pain of losing a person that you have poured so much love into and knowing that the person is still living is DEVASTATING and after many nights of crying and finally being alone you just wake up one day and thank God that you made it through the storm of life and have been given a chance to live your life for YOU
Thanks for sharing.
This is exactly what I am feeling two years later.😢
My spouse of 13 yrs asked for a divorce in 2019 out of no where. So here i am now the end of a 2nd marriage still trying after 2yrs asking God for help . Thanks for sharing your story.
I know someone going thru this now
I'm currently in an almost 24 year marriage and I can totally relate to the illusion of perfection, and the showing up for everything, and everyone else except you. This resonated with me so much that I wept while listening. Thank you for your open and honest transparency.
Bless you. I'm honored. I'm rooting for you.
What are you waiting for divorce him too
She and her preacher husband were on a Reality TV show called Preachers of LA in Los Angeles years ago. I came across the show while Channel surfing and thought they were a wonderful couple. I'm sad to hear they divorced.
Thanks for that as I kept wondering where I’ve seen her before.
Yeah I thought her husband was very attractive...wow!! But they looked great together!! But Kudos to her!!! More Power to Her!!❤
I can tell i saw her somewhere❤Thank you
There was an episode where Lady Myesha emasculated her husband on national TV as he pondered whether to get a tattoo or not. There is a place to straighten out your dude but its behind closed doors, not when literally hundreds of thousands of eyes are you.
Glad she is recovering from her divorce. On the show they gave the appearance of the "perfect couple" which is often not real. Many Blessings to you, Myesha. I waited way too long to get a divorce and stayed in a miserable marriage. Now I am free. Hallelujah!
Many people in ministry need to know it’s important to prioritize self-care, especially in marriage. God bless you.
Absolutely
33 years in and I needed to hear this. I’m praying for direction and strength to get
to where you currently are.
Stay prayerful for God to lead and give you a listening ear. God is faithful and cannot fail! I'm 25 years in sis, no marriage is perfect. ❤
Please pray and ask God according to His perfect will and His divine Word to lead and guide you! Married 38 years and we still have to work at and sometimes it is working at it differently. I pray for you and you pray for me Sis ❤!
I’ve never been married and have a deep desire to be married, but this video still touched me. Your transparency and authenticity was truly appreciated. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll be praying for you, and ask that you do the same for me in my journey in hoping to be married.
Thank you.
This touched me in so many ways. Thank you for your strength and courage to speak on these things. So many women are suffering in silence and need to hear someone speak out and to know they aren’t alone. I could no longer put on the fake smile and try to portray the perfect picture marriage. Despite my sins, I know that God will always be with me.
God is with you now and always. No matter what.
O
I am at the end of my 2nd divorce. You shared this with such class and dignity. I’m so proud of you for being you! Thank you for encouraging me today! 🧡🧡
Second Devore?😮stay single and figure out yourself!
2nd divorce!!! Technically your still married to your 1rst husband.
@@TheNiloticEmpressJudgmental much? Self-righteous much? Leave her alone! You don’t know the specifics of her marriages and divorces. So how about just expressing compassion and empathy. Going through a divorce at any time is painful enough without some stranger daring to dictate, unsolicitedly, what one should do next.
@@sucka-free3223 It seems you're typing out of fear more than righteousness.
Please sis don't get married again
Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your journey. I was never married. But in 2020 I had my first child at 30 and became a single mother. I never imagined that for my life, so being hurt and embarrassed that my “perfect” life didn’t work out is something I struggle with everyday. It’s been 3 years and the struggle is still very much there. I feel like I failed my son. But I know that god has other plans for us.
Thanks for sharing!! Oh no, you did not fail you son at all. Love him completely. You can do this. Another beautiful soul will come along and support you and your son.
@MyeshaChaney Amen! In Jesus name!
@@Myesha Amen, thank you! 🙏🏾
God will my dear
@ beautiful xshonie yes God has other plans for you and you lil man keep praying be specific with God and he will surely answer you🙏
“I wanted to be loved in the purest ways” … I definitely understand that !
Thank you
When Tony Gaskins says, if a man leaves you never go back because if he left you in dating, he’ll leave you in marriage. This is one of those examples. He is 99% right about everything I’ve heard him teach in the past 4 years. Mercy. I too was a pastors wife, he never left me but there were other indicators.
Exactly, once he told her "you're not my wife" that should've been it. He only came back because he couldn't find anything better at the time.
@@HypergamousqueenRight!!
That’s not always the case .
Pin this comment!!!
But he didn’t leave her did he, or did I miss something? She changed and wanted more…maybe that was due to lack of love but even that wasn’t really clear.
❤I am still deeply in love with my hubby after almost 20 years, but I understand people’s needs change in a marriage. We are best friends and continue to work on our love and marriage l.Thank you for sharing.
I’m sad your marriage didn’t work out you both seemed to be great ppl. However, I’m also glad you are overcoming with grace. You undoubtedly will help a lot of ppl.
I appreciate your kindness.
I was a Pastor’s Wife for two years. It was not the type of marriage I expected. It was hurtful but God was with me in every step moving forward.
Let me guess you divorced your husband because your therapist told you that you deserve more 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@sucka-free3223 Nope. Be blessed. ✌🏽
@@LovelyandSavednever respond to clowns
@@sucka-free3223what is funny?
@@LovelyandSavedHe’s under many comments taunting women and I’m randomly seeing it. He’s scared he can be left by a woman so he’s trying to make women feel bad. Red pill boys like boys but want women for pleasure. Men are whos approval he seeks…particularly unhealthy men
Wow!!! No one could have shared this with so much grace. You are a beautiful Christian. I could say sooooo much more but I applaud you in so many ways. I don't know divorce and I'm so grateful to God for the man he gave me. We have had our trials....BUT GOD.
I pray for you , your children and your ex-husband . Thank you for sharing.❤❤❤❤
Wow, I was married 36 years. I tried everything but because early in life my maternal mother abandoned 3 children as an adult I had separation issues. That's why I stayed. I have been divorced 2 yrs and putting my pieces back together with peace and love. Thanks for sharing your testimony. We are not alone. Be blessed.
You are definitely not alone!
I am there…
Myesha, your story is so incredibly valuable, even beyond the divorce. I’ve never been married, but I had parents who were in ministry, and just like your daughter, I made my 1st attempt to take my own life in 10th grade. But my parents never had the awakening or realization you did. They continued the act for years until my mother had a mental break…from the resentment…and attempted to unalive my father. You don’t know how extremely wise and brave you are! There’s so much that I could say, but I’ll end here. Just know that yes, it’s absolutely scary at times to be on your own, but you took your power back! You set boundaries, and above all you chose to love yourself. My prayer for you is that your latter years are far greater than anything you experienced in the former. You have your wings now! #FLY 🦋❤🙏🏾
Thank you soooooo much! I wholeheartedly receive what you have spoken.
Thank you. I really appreciate your words.
@@Myesha I’m more than familiar with the world that you were in. The years of service, but when you were in need, not having the support. The cross you’ve carried is heavier than most would ever comprehend on the outside looking in. My dad lived for 7 years after his injury, paralyzed. He was both a minister and a judge in our city. Everyone left. Everyone. And I saw him struggle with that internally and in his faith. After more than 30+ years of SERVICE. But I love the fact that you haven’t lost your LIGHT. Your assignment is just beginning. 💕
I loved you on reality tv...
@@sunonymous1Don't get married. Thank me later. Just be single and love the Lord. You'll probably live to be 100
Interesting, I saw my mother take so much from my father. I vowed, I would NEVER and I don’t. Taking a lot only enables abusers. If you begin to abuse me, I immediately plan an exit.
Excellent advice
My mom went through that. I'm like you, I'm not taking it either.
I divorced after 38 yrs of marriage it's been two years now and i'm still trying to financially recover.
I hear you. It’s not easy.
You will recover from that pain but it is you to say no to being single
I’m conflicted about this reasoning. But it’s her life and choice to make. Pray everyone is healing 🙏🏾
When he said you are not my wife that really was a sign. Every marriage God has not joined together. This is relatable.
There is God's perfect will for your life and then there is His Permissive will. Myesha's marriage was His permissive will.
God knows every one of us even before we are formed in the womb Jer. 1:5
He knew Myesha's children before she was married
All marriages between a man and a woman according to scripture, are contracts that God allowed. If He allowed it, he joined them together till d3ath parts them (Romans 7:2-3). True disciples know this so her husband was not a true disciple. Seemingly, the husband controlled every aspect of his wife's life. That is not love.
If you are in an abusive relationship then separate and remain that way
Facts
Yep!
@@maycomaA lot of times people tend to go off their emotions and not seeking the Lord for a spouse and even in most cases they truly are not Saved and living for the Lord, just because they go to church doesn't mean that they belong to the Lord, it's just them putting a marriage together the Lord is not in it. ❤🙏
Whew, what a blessing your testimony is. The last 5 years of my life have been so hard, especially after losing my mom while I was pregnant in 2019. I had to leave my son's father last October after he's chosen the path of drugs and became abusive. I didn't love myself and had 2 kids out of wedlock (never been married and turn 35 on the 18th) so I stayed in that horrible relationship until God literally snatched us apart. Now I'm a single mom of 3 and fighting my way through a depression while raising 2 autistic toddlers with my older sister's help. This is the scariest season of my life but I'm still putting one foot in front of the other. I, too, look perfect to a lot of people because I have a really nice car, my kids are always put together and I have a lot of the material things most people can only dream of. What no one sees is how much I cry and have to breathe through suicidal thoughts because life feels so overwhelming. Now my son's father is strung out on drugs, engaging in homosexual activities with a very toxic woman who's exposed his tape engaging in these acts. I keep believing life is going to get better and I hope one day it does. I finally learned the lesson to not deal with guys who are unequally yoked. I now believe being single is better than staying in a horrible relationship that doesn't serve me in any way. Thank you for your testimony and for being so open with this process 🙏🏾.
Whether is he equally yoked is important as well,but what is most worrisome,is the mind of most people out there now.
So you must ask and watch more closely to see if there are certain lines you blurring because of affection.
God help you through this season.
God help you heal the kids.
@sose9601 yes, I'm not even worried about dating anymore. The mindset of a lot guys is scary so I just prefer to be single and at peace raising my kids and working.
@@deemamcdonald8758 Ask men. They say same about women. LOL
May God give you strength.
I am an unemployed single mum, it's not easy but truly God's grace has been sufficient.
U R NOT YOUR LOWEST POINT,YOUR PIT WHICH IS WHAT U ARE GOING THRU WILL BE YOUR TESTIMONY, I PRAY FOR YOUR STRENGTH U WILL LAUGH ABOUT THIS ONE DAY!!
I was married for 17 years, we were members of our church for the same time. He never loved me and I thought I had enough love for the both of us.
But I didn’t. We were oil and water and it affected our kids. Your story is my story.
I never wanted a divorce, everyone was ready for me to leave but me.
Then a shift happened and time was up.
All I had was Faith, my kids and two feet. Lost a big chunk of me and had to grow from the little speck of light inside of me, somehow some way, on top of coping with the loss of my mother in law and almost my brother. It was a lot.
But I prayed to get out of the darkness and it happened. One positive step at a time. Listened to good music, buy things that gave me joy, get in the car and take long drives. Anything that got me to the next day, and the next month and the next year and constantly looking for positive reinforcement. Pretty soon I saw my growth, strength and ability to carry on without him.
I never looked back. I told him that if I ever left, he’d never see me again and I held true to that.
Divorce was the path I took to get me back and fight for me. I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have ever been so determined to make something so toxic work.
Blessings to everyone on this thread.
@dkstephens Thank you for your testimony. It's amazing how your truth can be a healing device for someone else.
WOW sounds like me now.. currently about to file. He never fell in love with me. I had all the move and thought it was being reciprocated. This toxic life affected my sons, especially my eldest. I'm going to love forward and never look back..I need peace again. Thank you very much for sharing ❤
@@queenc8280Here now😢
Praying for you! I know divorce sucks but I’m excited for your new journey!
me too.
Currently divorcing, almost 25 years got married at 21 no kids.Should have left sooner.. Such a weird time in my life I'm so used to being a wife.. I thought I would be more distraught but God gave me strength that I never knew I had. I literally can look at him and not feel nothing and that is kind of weird to me, because I really fought to keep the marriage together.
You are a champion!
Hey Myesha. I’m divorced after a 30 year relationship and 19 years of marriage. Learning how to operate as a healthy person was a challenge and knowing it’s okay to grieve what I lost. I’m thankful to God that I’ve moved on but it’s a process of recognizing when I’m bringing something from my past into my present. Great video
Thank you for sharing!
After years of depending on my husband for 19 years , he got sick this year and i was sick last year. Anyhow God had to sit me down and face my demons and made me reflect that our marriage was not as perfect as o once made it seemed. And now im depending on God to help me and get through this . Were still married as of right now but i feel that shift of wanting more and be on my own and learn what i like and dont like . Its a process but im fighting.
Divorce journey is different for everyone. My Divorce is finalizing and I am happy unlike I have been for 20 yrs. The Lord warned me many times yet I thought love would win over all the obstacles but instead the enemy used my disobedience to try and destroy me (even tried to end my life) but God is so Merciful and gave me a way of escape and the Victory of surviving with our son (now turning 20). I think of your daughter and I realized how much I was protective untuitively because his father was distant and abrasive emotionally. I was determined that my sensitive child would survive this chaotic world. We sit and talk about those times without tears now (6yrs since the separation). Blessings to you and yours - I would like to be joined with women in the same Divorce challenge journey. We are stronger together.
I admire your growth. You were my first lady when I moved from Charlotte, NC to Long Beach in 2010. I have always admired you and saw strength, grace and something great in you. I’m back in NC and I always thought about how you were doing over the years. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m inspired to be my best self and to seek out and pursue and have the type of joy, peace and happiness I see in you. I look forward to hearing more of your journey and seeing your growth. You are watering the seeds of my growth with your transparency and I appreciate you.
My father left my mom after over 40 years of marriage in 2021. As an adult daughter, It has been a roller coaster of emotions. This year would be 47 years and they are now going through the divorce process. 😢 I held my parents marriage is such high esteem because of its longevity. Not as an idol, but I was so proud that it lasted through test and time. So this process has been so difficult.
That is devastating..how is your mom holding up? Daughter keep loving on your mom hard and God is with y’all ❤
@@trulyrblessed She is doing a lot better than when it all started. 🙏🏾 Thanks.
This is a PERFECT example of how one person's selfishness can ruin the entire family.
Not at all. I saved my life and my family.
When you've been a yes person for so long, the day you become a normal person and want what is normal for yourself, people will call you wicked names....
The family could be ruin be ruin for staying
She divorced for no reason.
@@Mvubo what is no reason too you?
PHENOMENAL !! Your healing is real Myesha! Going through a break up myself and I’m relearning myself completely and it has its ups and downs. Sometimes you end up feeling ashamed for failing but I realize it’s not failure it’s just pieces that didn’t fit together ❤
Absolutely. You got it!
Hi I am really touched about your experience in your marriage. I was married at 18. And now going through a divorce. Married for 42 years. Parents friends relatives. Thought our marriage was perfect. Every body is shocked to hear. I have never discussed anything about my marriage with my parents. I have been through emotional,mental abuse for many years of my marriage. God show me it time to leave. He and continue to watch over me as I going through this difficult time of divorce.
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I'm sorry but God would never tell you to leave he would tell you to pray.
@@jameilsanders1492 until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you will never know what God will tell someone. I'm sure she/he prayed about it for years. Divorce happens after 42 years of marriage because it wasn't working. We try to make things work that God didn't ordain. Sometimes people do NOT CHANGE
Thank you for your courage to share 👏🏽👏🏽. I am going through a divorce and my partner doesn’t want to let go. He doesn’t see me! He only wants what he wants and just believes I am being emotional. He always points out his perception of what I do wrong or what I should do, but never takes responsibility for his actions! I know I can’t go back, but I had the paperwork drawn up but haven’t pulled the trigger!
You are learning to trust yourself. You will pull the trigger when you are ready to.
If there isn't abuse or adultery, I'd fight for the marriage. I've been divorced nearly 16 years and it's lonely. The dating scene? Forget it. Men these days don't know how to court and there are alot of counterfeits and manipulative men. It's been a night and daymare. What do you mean he doesn't SEE you? Why are you divorcing? It's like a death.
Thank you Myesha what a wonderful powerful testimony. You came to Grand Prairie years ago and signed my book. Beautiful spirit! God bless you!
You are so welcome
My goodness women in ministry go through a lot. It’s as thou you spoke about my life. When I decided to let go after my ex had 3 affairs that I knew about I honestly felt abandoned by my church that I had been in for over 22 years. I served everywhere I could, held prominent positions, taught the word, did Children’s ministry. But when it came to my needs I felt the church turn its back on me , except for a few saints who really treated me like personal family . I felt judged by the church for ending the marriage and I felt shunned by my in-laws for walking away. Little did anyone know the pain I had to endure to maintain the “Face” or the mask as you explained it in your post. Like you I kept it together, told no one, delt with it on my own. So when I realised I was dying on the inside and had to break away that’s when I realised that the people around you want you to keep the status quo so that thier world can feel safe and normal for them, despite what you are going through alone. The part that had me is when you said you had a moment when you had to loose it. Ahhh that part hmmm, I did that on the floor of my church alone with my ex and cried my eyes out whilst my ex watched me break down at the altar . The pain of being me and not being the wholesome me that I wanted was the most intense and desperate experience I have ever had. It’s like a total malfunction of the mind , body and spirit. A total disconnect that only the maker , God himself can fix. If ever thier was a prayer I did with no words but just groaning of the soul was that day when I realised no one could fix ME, and I was alone in this journey. I too had to walk away, I had been humiliated by my own husband in front of my Bishops when he told them after 2 hours of counselling that he had “moved on “. That’s the day I knew I had to summon self love for the sake of my children , my sanity , my life reality. I thank God am healing still, but am stronger, and like you I still had so much love to give and so my story also continues. 🙏Thank you for this message, it really came across my viewing recommendations and am glad I engaged and listen. Am part of this journey and listening to the nuggets of wisdom as we share each other’s experiences. God bless you my sister for being so so honest with it all. You gave full expression of what I personally went through and for that am grateful 🙏
Thanks for sharing! I'm rooting for you.
Letting go of your marriage because of adultery is far different than walking away from your covenant because you needed to find self-actualization. If they judged you, that's on them. Live your life and hold your head up high.
Thank you for your transparency. I’m currently going through a divorce now. It hurts but I know I will get through this and love again.
I know the feeling I was just served yesterday and yes the hurt is real.
@@marcieholliday7993 🙏🏽🙏🏽praying for your healing.
Yes, you WILL 💐
You will get through it. Just keep taking the next right step. You won't fall.
I used to attend Antioch in the early 2000's. This I would've never imagined. The last time I seen you guys was when I performed a portion of the poem in the skit for your book Hiding Behind Lipstick. This story was shocking to say the least as I knew how devoted you were to your family and the ministry. May God heal and bless you on your journey as well as pastor Chaney too.
Thank you so much.
I attended in 2012. I could tell something was wrong. I experienced Myesha as being frustrated but she was definitely pushing hard to keep up the appearance. That is an awful situation to be in.
This is so good! I asked for my divorce and it was because I felt as though I was drowning. We were married for 13 years. He was a good man but we were not good for each other. It hurts. I’m healing but I’m better for it. Thank you for sharing.
So glad we connected. You are a champion!
💜
That’s a contradictory statement and makes zero sense. If he was a good man and it didn’t work then you failed yourself. Hopefully no kids were involved.
@@enough_is_enough5131 you can marry the wrong person. A good man is one who works hard but don't know how to love his wife. A woman won't leave unless she is not happy. Something was lacking somewhere
Neither one of us can pull that final trigger after 33 years of marriage. But we have been living separately for the last four years. I stayed in a marriage longer than I needed to because my husband is a beautiful man of integrity. But that emotional intimacy had always been a struggle in my marriage. That issue of not being seen, heard, and understood by my husband was a nagging, hurtful, and persistent existence that I lived for decades. I didn’t know exactly what it was, because at that time I didn’t have words to describe the emptiness and Extreme hurt and loneliness I felt . I truly had nothing harsh to say about my husband, except for the fact that he just was incapable of having that emotional connectivity and intimacy that I craved! The more I leaned in, the more he shut down! My authentic need to dive in deeper with our feelings and communication was causing him distress, and he became avoidant and resentful of my “neediness”. But I discovered that my need for emotional intimacy and communication was my non-negotiable. It got to a point where I just couldn’t breathe anymore, and I was withering away and becoming resentful. It got to a point where we just didn’t like each other anymore. Every day that we shared a household and l wore that fake smile, l was colluding in my own self-betrayal.
The fear of standing alone in my truth kept me stuck. When l finally asked him to moved out…it was a bottomless grieving pit that I fell into. I literally was on the bathroom floor in a fetal position, crying into the grout for the first year of our separation. There’s so much that has happened within the last few years of our separation that it would take me days to explain it all. But, I’m still healing and I’m doing so much better. I’m getting to know how strong I am as a person and thriving beyond my expectations. 🧘🏾♂️
Now,,, this is transparency! Thank you for sharing
God was promised a married union - get over yourself .. repent .. help your husband with his intimacy issues through marriage counseling .. if he didn’t cheat then YOU are indeed selfish and wrong for making him leave his own house how selfish
@@Thedevilisaliar23 You are entitled to your opinion. If I am selfish for recognizing that neither one of us were happy in our marriage…then it is, what it is 🤷🏽♀️. Last summer, we vacationed together to commemorate 33 years of marriage. Yes, still married, but living separately, and embracing a new chapter. This option works for us. No bitterness, no drama, and no regrets.
🧘🏽♀️🧘🏿
Wow your story reflects my 17 yr old relationship which ended 4 yrs ago , thank you for sharing it rubber stamped many of my own thoughts , have a great life 😊
@@jumokesalami1532 Wishing you a blessed and fulfilling life as well.
Myesha, what an amazing testimony. Thank you for sharing. Through all of the pain, look at how God has positioned you to help those that are single and aspire to be married, married, going through divorce and are divorced. He gets all of the glory in what you have to share with others through your lived experiences! God bless you. 🙌🏽
Thank you!
Myesha, your testimony of growing up in church resonated with me. I've always felt this "pressure" to do everything"right" to the detriment of my well-being. Now I am praying to understand what truly living a bold life for God looks like. I've never been married(yet), and I appreciate your story. I felt grace and compassion as you walked us through your journey. Thank you! 🙏🏾❤
I just was scrolling on TH-cam and I seen your video and I’m so glad clicked on your video. This hit me in so many ways. I have been married for 20 years and for the 1st time I have taken the mask off and be vulnerable and walk in my healing! Thank you for sharing this was everything to me! ❤
You were married for 20 years and than choose to divorce your husband. I guess you relate to her because she made that same foolish decision.
You have always inspired me. I see such a powerful woman of God who has allowed Him to use you even during the most heartbreaking season of your life. Thank you for being transparent and teaching us as women that it’s okay to choose ourselves and move forward with grace and a spirit of excellence. May God continue to bless you in every area of your life. You are truly amazing!🥰🙏🏽
Thank you for this video! I ended a relationship with a man that I thought I would marry. And at almost 39, I'm starting over. It's scary but I'm hopeful. Just subscribed to your channel. Can't wait to follow your journey!! :)
You’re wise. Don’t ever marry as a cure nor out of anxiety, words or perceptions of others, nor out of hormones. Wait on the Lord. He will prosper and teach you in the way that you should go❤❤❤
I know exactly how you felt, I got divorced after 20 years of marriage, relocated to a new city and started my transformation as a single mom! One of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
Congratulations
2016 I walked into there church and I can say truly say they changed me and my family lives. You have witness this blessing in person ❤
Thank you,! Thank you ! my husband and I have been married for 39yrs and are separated and pending divorce. It happened suddenly and makes no earthly sense (no affairs) he just doesn't want to be married anymore . So I float between shock and anger. and peace, We were the leaders of the marriage ministry and highly admired as a couple . I am in the most dred /angst of people finding out and the questions and gossip that will follow. It helps to know I am not alone
My situation i s similar to yours and we are separated yet living together. Though it has been hard, God has kept me, and I am moving forward with my life. I am working on myself right where I am. Be encouraged!
No affairs .. No that you know Yet, my husband is a minister who use any excuse to divorce me .. few months after I found him in our female friend house
Is hard to believe that your partner secretly has been seen someone and most of the time is in the friend cycle. I still can’t believe , but I asked God to showed me what was underneath and he showed me twice ..My husband was lying sleeping with a old friend
Thank you for your transparency! With all the confirmations in the comments, you ladies need a space to tell your stories so others can be healed and set free..this is just the beginning
Thank you so much for watching.
My husband left me and the kids and filed for divorce. I did not understand why he had to get to that point in his life but hearing you narrate your story sort of shed some light. I at least have a perspective on how marriage can “suddenly “ end . I chose peace and released him . He blatantly refused therapy and reconciliation. I have not been able to recover from that pain and rejection 4 years later. Slowly rebuilding my life .
Powerful message! I divorced after 6 years of marriage & have since remarried. Thank you for your transparency and sharing your story, I admire you so much more now and loving all of this.
I'm happy for you. Thank you.
So glad you're on the other side of this its a process. I got divorced in 2021 we also were in the church. Your story resonates with me because alot of our family and friends did not see it coming because we seemed so "perfect" or put on a "pedestal" we didn't ask for. I could go on but will stop there.
Same with us. Church couple put on a perfect pedestal and had many problems. He hated that I went back to school and couldn’t support me at the time. Put a big wedge between us.
@@acomment5991 Wow!! It's unfortunate but God has much better for us. Congrats on going back to school. 😊
@@keontaychest it is but praise GOD for better for us. Thank you and best to you!
I too tried to present a perfect example of life and over the course of many years I crashed. The Lord walked me through all of it especially when all I wanted to do was to escape the pain by lying down and quietly die. 🙏🏽
Understood. I'm glad you are still here.
GOD is in control - only He knows the plans. Thank you for Gracefully sharing with us who are experiencing separation or divorce 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I’m just now watching this and I’ve been divorced now for 8 1/2 years and it was a marriage where I lost myself and couldn’t be myself. I’ve been through therapy and have had to put the pieces of me back together as well as going through depression. I’m a work in progress but I’m not where I was 8 1/2 years ago and I’m grateful for that 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing!
I appreciate you sharing. I was also a pastor’s wife as well. It is a lonely life, especially when there’s trauma involved
Myesha I am so glad that you are sharing this! I met you years ago at our church Women’s ministry with my pastor Apostle Bam Crawford! My prayers are with you 🙏🏾
Yes, so glad to connect.
This was so good and fortified. It was so classy and robust. I am encouraged because of your transparency. You genuinely made this about the marriage and the transition of the relationship. I applaud your tenacity, strength, and determination to KEEP GOING! This just poured so much into me. THANK YOU Myesha, you are a jewel Sis.
Thank you soooo much
I am divorced and when it happened it felt like a part of me died. It’s difficult navigating your way back to get yourself on track. I’m happy I’ve come across your video.
This was beautiful. The testimony, the dress, and the hair. 😍
This hit home. I think with long marriages it’s hard to let go of the husband for fear of losing the friend. Wish you and your family the best. Hope you can find in each other that friendship, however that looks like for your family.
Yes! We are finding our rhythm.
EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOU AND WHO YOU HAVE BECOME! Knowing that we once shared theatre together, services in worship together up until YOU now getting YOU together and being open, upfront and HONEST!! I applaud you and I’m still blessed to know you and learn from you. Definitely encouraging ME to share my untold story🩵
Yessssss and I am here for it!
I needed to hear this. I am a First Lady and feel like sometime I can’t be who I need to be for myself bc I’m that person to everyone else. Blessings to you!
I’m not near the end of divorce I truly love my husband.
Then don't do the first lady thing anymore. Live YOUR life the way YOU want and free yourself!
The loudest sign that a relationship is not working is when partners can't PROACTIVELY have uncomfortable conversations( eg finance, aspirations ) and have to put their best foot forward all the time or only have these conversations when its too late.
Talk early in all aspects of life , burn out changes you. Your old life dies off and you realise you cant go back
People change , couples need to anticipate this , discuss this and embrace this if the marriage would work
Being the strongest soldier isn’t always easy 🙏🏾🙏🏾😇
I was saddened that your marriage did not live to its fullest potential. However in sharing your story I appreciate the class in which you shared it. I love both you and Pastor Wayne and wish you both the Very Best that God has for each of you. With love, 💙❤️
I have been married for 17 years, and I have been divorced for 14 years. Wow, how time flies! We have so many problems in our marriage that I wanted to be over, but I never thought I would grieve and cry and suffer the loss of this marriage, which is a spiritual bond that is broken. I thought that I would want to get married again my reason so I won't fornication! But not because I love the sanctity of marriage. For me, I love being single. It's a blessing and enjoy being in this stage in life. I've been told so many times you're wasting your life. You'e still young. You still have life in you, Yelp , But I love the single life I can accept the fact that my husband is still alive. And according to the word of God, I cannot get married again. That's okay with me. I am OK with it.
If he cheated and you divorced .. you’re free even if he or you filed .. if you cheated .. repent .. recommit yourself to him and start fresh .. marriage and all freely
I am so happy I stumbled across this meaningful testimony. Thank you, Myesha!
I been through the experience you are now sharing… Married to a Pastor for 28 years and becoming divorced. One of the most importance thing to remember is; God will carry you through to complete wholeness. Of course, it will take time to heal, but God. If He done it for me; I know without a shadow of a doubt, He will do it for you. Blessings to you my Sister! 🙏🏽
Thanks for sharing
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story! ☀️ Sometimes divorce is the answer. I’m just a Mental Health Therapist sharing my two cents...I specialize in trauma (most people don’t realize they even have trauma) and faith. I have been blessed to work with many women of faith. I have told so many clients/patients two things 1. Do not divorce during the pandemic 2. Do not divorce until you heal your trauma (each partner separately). Too many Mental Health Therapists are not trained in Trauma, do not consider faith, and do not know how to help couples heal and stay together. Praying for the day that healing of trauma, understanding faith and mental health do not conflict, and keeping marriages together becomes a norm. Praying for healing for anyone reading this! 💛☀️
You my friend are delightful in your story telling. You are a class act and hopefully will help a multitude of people with this platform. God Bless your journey.
I have been a follower for many years. Thank you for sharing so honestly.
I can relate in many ways. Recently divorced and buried my father in January of this year.
God still is and will always be great!
You are a champion!
Wow! I didn't know they were divorced. However, I always had the feeling she was more than a wife, and mother. Wish her much success.❤❤
I'm tired of hearing about people divorcing. I'm going to pray for newly weds to allow God to be the center. It's just sad to hear and grieves me.
God can be the center of ones life and divorce can still happen
@@GraciouslyGrowingAgreed 100%, because we have our part to play as husbands & wives.
I kept looking at your picture...thinking why does she look so familiar? This morning it hit me of where I knew you from. I truly thought you had the perfect family, but looks can definitely be deceiving. Thanks for sharing your testimony.