My friend sent me this quote: "We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness." - HST
learn to meditate - it's easy to do. It takes time and the 2 obstacles your ego will put up are bordom and sleep. Your mind will tell you it's stupid, a waste of time, make you sleepy, tell you you should be DOING something else etc. It will kick up a shit storm before it starts to slow down. But with persistance, it will slow down and then - stop. And in that silence is where your answers are. Good luck friend.
You literally saved my life with the book The power of now. From a crazy stressed aggressive addict through 25 years, to almost normal in no time. Thank you.
Oh no. This is about my last relationship. I had so much love for her and tried so hard to make it work. I had romanticize an idea of a life with her so much I couldn't see that we weren't right for each other. It was exhausting and traumatizing but I'm healing from it and ready to move on. I definitely won't make those mistakes again... No matter how badly I want it to work.
Finding true love begins with Loving yourself. You must know that you are whole, complete and do not need another human being to complete you. Then you will recognize and attract people who are vibrating at the same frequency. Your life is a mirror. You will only attract that which you are on the inside. Love attracts love. Two halves will never make a whole. You attract your soulmate by becoming your soulmate.
A better answer is love is about giving of self with out hooks. Most people think a relatinship is about taking something when really it is about giving something freely.
This is true. I started to hate a person and become extremely aggressive and possessive. I was exhausting myself. I just dropped it. I feel lighter now.
Man. I just went thru this. I knew what was happening, that i was attaching to illusion. I thought i could handle it and just enjoy the feeling. It totally exploded in my face. The pain was horrible. Gettin over it. Bit lonely tho! Good lesson
True love requires patience. Love is not "feelings" or attraction. They are only a catalyst for "energizing" interest beyond basic aquaintace. Feelings are temporary and are meant to be. Problems occur when couples get involved sexually, or enter into marriage BEFORE the possibility of experiencing TRUE LOVE. After feelings, the next POTENTIAL phase is love (e.g. when a man and woman seek to "give" more than "receive" from each other). Few couples have that kind of patience.
this video offers a cure for romantic love so simple and concise you could carry it in your pocket and never be blindsided again. anyone who watches this video and then repeats the same mistakes is not interested in a cure, and should ask themselves what it is they're getting out of having chaos and deception at such a deep level of their being.
True love is the knowledge that all life is one life. Egoic love is no more than a preference that changes as we grow. The further we have to grow, the more likely it is that our preferences will change, thus relationships are more likely to last when we know whom we really are and what it is, on a spiritual level, that allows us to be content. That contentment comes from within, not from without. Without is a place where something is missing and nothing is missing - we are perfect just the way we are.
I am 63 yrs old and was married for 15 yrs many years ago, have had relationships over the years, but none ever seemed to be 'Right'. About four years ago I was in a relationship with a good man for three years and began to feel unsettled and depressed (but didn't know at first it was to do with the relationship.) Once I realised I was devastated as I knew I couldn't carry on with the relationship but more than anything the pain it would, and did cause him. I knew from that moment on I could never have another relationship until I knew why I had made all the previous mistakes with my relationships and to understand the overwhelming feeling I had at the end of that last relationship, and that was - 'It's not enough'. Eckhart explained it to perfection. I need to make me 'whole' I can't look for a relationship to do that! I suppose I always knew that but really 'knowing' it now I feel I can achieve finding 'The One' with getting to know myself more and more! It's never to late to learn and change and develop!
Nah thinking about it will hardly solve anything... In love you must be lucky to find someone you really click. I am 23 have been in love (not real love just strongly attraction) with 3 girls but due to circumstances i had no control over it never worked out. The girls who liked me i couldn't like them back, i wish someday i can be lucky too...
He has such a calm and mesmerizing voice. I always feel good every time I hear him speak. I know exactly what it is like to love someone who did not love me back. Funny thing is, there was always this little voice of intuition telling me something was not right. The last night we where together, I cried myself to sleep. Just a few days after that,he broke up with me. I think it was his pain body clinging to me for a while, and he was flattered that a women could find him so attractive because he had never had that before. I know that the pain is egoic and that I do not need another person to complete who I am, but it was still extremely painful and all these years later it still hurts a little when I think about it.
Hang in there dear Michelle! Observe thoughts, emotions you are going through. Although it could be difficult but consider your breakup as catalyst to the awareness. Awareness to the 'essense' that exists beyond our ego. That is intrinsically pure and fulfilled already. I myself tried this so I thought it might help you. Take care!
Michelle Hayton Always listen to you inner Voice,she says not the one,it is so!!And Man don’t need Relationships,they want to be free and they want to go do there thing alone and if they need something only then they back,and here they go again!Its Creasy we are sooo different,a relationship is a big Challenge!!Most times not right!
I like the analogy of 'completion' that we seek from a love relationship. I also appreciate the obvious extrapolation from there of why it hurts so much when it is not reciprocated. Love requires courage. It requires devotion and acceptance. Whether reciprocated or not- Love is love.
Nobody can 'make' anyone 'happy'. If that's why we seek a relationship it's a set up for failure. It's a burden and an impossible task with impossible expectations of the one you assigned to hand you a life of happiness. Besides - happiness is a passing feeling, as opposed to contentment and joy which I feel we are really looking for. In love, there's not much to say. There's peace just being together.
Eckhart has a deep understanding of the thing we call love. He's gotten deep down into the DNA of pain body heart, and his words and understanding are so clear. I thank you.
I think they're laughing at how ridiculous the idea of a relationship is after listening to how Eckhart describes them, rather laughing at the persons pain. He makes alot of sense; it's quite scary in fact!
The pain of not being loved back is real. It is not an ego-mind speaking. It is so sad that so many true feelings of people’s hearts: the need, desire, heartbreak of rejection, longing and passion for the other person are laughed at and called unspiritual. It’s true that the ego-mind can grab onto those feelings and make it all about oneself. But those feelings arise for the Beloved, in the relationship to the Beloved, and out of love. And that’s worthy of respect, not laughter.
The laughter is not at the person with the pain. The laughter is seeing how we're all so susceptible to that feeling, but in the moment we don't realize the pain doesn't need to exist. When you realize that, it becomes a joke. The pain is real, the sensation is real, Tolle is not taking anything away from that. In fact realizing your pain is a step forward in a spiritual journey. But the truth this, if you really become open, the pain you're experiencing is not a direct result of someone rejecting you. How do you know? Because if the person you loved pretended to love you and you didn't know, you would still feel the happiness or the high. If you could REALLY sense someone's love for you, you should be able to know when someone's pretending. Thus the pain is not really caused because of the rejection. The pain is because when you're rejected you immediately feel worse about yourself. You think you're unworthy, you assume you're incomplete and you always will be. These are the symptoms of the "Ego", unfortunately, they are not out of love. If you really loved someone, you would love them even when they don't love you. You wouldn't bother them. You'll let them be. You love them for their existence and being, not because they're providing you with love. This kind of love is possible. And you can only do this if you look past the "ego" and love yourself first. You must love yourself first. You must realize you do not need to long for someone else, because you can feel complete without someone else. All the best to anyone experience pain.
It’s true that in our selfishness we tend to make a mess out of falling in love. But the mess comes from the ego taking over the true love, desire, need, affection and devotion to the other person. The ego wants to GET love, GET fulfilled, GET happy. It has its use of love. But to love truly is to stay with the heart, love & care for others, regardless of ones own benefit or loss, pleasure or pain it could bring. True love IS possible. It needs to be protected from the ego & its twisted mind.
This wisdom about love being a need to fill an empliness and the myth that relationships are, is very helpful to me, because I have spent a great deal of my adult life trying to fill that hole in a feudal search for the right mate. Echhart is a great teacher, and moving our understanding to another level.
i love me... (that is a one-sided relationship isn't it) i am never lonely... i enjoy solitude... stillness... emptiness... i am the nothingness... which means... "IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD"...
in stillness... there is no thing to love... no thing there... no thing ness is the thing people fear most... spirit has no feminine or masculine side... for it is no thing... this "thing" called "spirituality" is not found by what one think one knows of things... but in one's ability to let go of what one thinks one knows... ya know...??? :-) is "awareness" a thing... is it masculine or feminine...??? true "awareness" is "LOVE"... for if one is "aware"... one "knows"...
+MrDrofinnah ..if you can laugh at 'those'.. not your .. thoughts.. thoughts that create tense and 'grumpy' feelings (young or old), then you have actually created that little space between them and you.. but we just can't feel it yet. We just need a little more acceptance..or inner stillness .. surrender to the shape of now.. all shapes.. start with a beautiful tree!! so portals ..listening .. or as I do.. listening to ET .. or someone in that space of now.. between thoughts .. This will help those feelings dissipate.. still moments happen.. manifest and peace feelings follow.. this is how we all find our way. grumpy? .. we can all say yes to this feeling yes :)
Dear Olaf, Eckhart's power shows in the fact that this video alone has been watched 388829 times, to date. He is already the most powerful spiritual teacher living. Whatever his "image" appears to be to you or to me is merely form, as perceived by our egos, and has no meaning. Glad you love his work. So do I.
Stef, Hang in there...you will be ok. Accept that you are hurting and that it is ok to be hurting over being alone. The pain you are feeling is not who you are, it is what you are going through. You have all the beautiful, radiant energy of life inside and around you; let that naturally come back into your life. I once lost a 7 year relationship and felt pain for months, maybe years on and off. At the time, I thought my life was over and I could see no good reason for this to happen. Now I have a wonderful person in my life again and I would not have met her had the prior relationship not ended. If you believe that life will give you what you really need, then a great comfort comes, and things will move in that direction. You will be open and ready when life hands you those opportunities. Please work on loving your life, your family, and any or all of the small things around you. Start your day with a sense of gratitude for all the gifts you have and build from there. Try not to focus on your loss, but all that you have, and including your amazing life. Everyone will likely have to start over again at one point in their life. Something amazing will happen for you soon. Be ready and open for it to happen:! Byron Katie is another great source besides Tolle on finding your way out of pain. Do the work and you will feel better, I promise.
I guess i was a smart kid because somehow i always knew most of this. You feel the truth and relationships seem so corrupt. But true innocent love is a different story.
We are not complete. We love another because they give us something we could not give ourselves. When I fell in love, it was because I believed I had found someone who taught me goodness. With them, I discovered a part of myself I hadn't seen since my childhood. And there were wordless things there. I felt truly touched by nature in a way that led me to become naturally LESS egoic. To say we shouldn't love others because their "form" is to say we shouldn't choose friends with similar interests.
if u love some one and u expect him/her to comply or surrender to ur well, or to give u the attention u wish,,, this is not love,,, the real love is to love somebody where ever he goes and whatever he decides without expecting any thing back.
Yes!! True & Selfless Love!!! Only God Loves Us Totally with out condition!! Though I Love someone for over 40 years Unconditionally and we have not been together since!!
@Jane I know it is easier said than done to love unconditionally. But ultimately we will realize our action is never contingent on others ' doings . Just like the saying goes : "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional " Power of CHOICE indeed . In my experiene , most ppl including me turn to spiritual side of life when the ego is hurted and in pain . Sometimes going inside pain is the way out of pain . Because you can only let go of st when u understand it .
Mr Tolle, your insight is impeccable, and your explanations and guidance are unmatched ! Thank you so much for your wonderful teachings and signposts !
I love the way he analyses and explains these dilemmas. I too feel calm listening to his voice and can relate so much to the points he makes. He is also very funny with it in a subtle way. I can understand why the audience laughs out loud. It is generally to do with the absurdity of how we perceive life in and the problems we make out of it.
Looking to another person to complete you and make you happy will never work. You are complete already. When you are happy within yourself then you don't need a relationship to complete you, that's when your relationships can thrive.
Wow how did he manage to make me laugh - this subject is very raw to me. had a girl who was totally into me and then just lost interest. I realise now its not personal, its my ego hurting. and that she could never make me truly happy anyway. Brilliant Eckhart.
I think Eckhart sums relationships up well. People getting into relationships for all the wrong reasons with people they don't really love. People wanting their partner to show them they are loved by giving them the attention they want and the right words. I often look at couples and ask myself if they are happy or really in love. When one relationship ends people just enter another relationship to fulfill what they are searching for.
when we love some and they dont love us back, it means two things. (a) the person we love has met up to our expectation ( b) the have not lived up to the expectation of the person we love. Many persons today fallin love because their needs are being met...BUT they fail to realize that the other person has needs as well. So dont complain when you are not loved in return. Do a self analysis. Most women are guilty of not "giving"...because they feel they are queen and only men need to give give give. Give emotional support, love, money, material things. Ladies...this is not the way. Ever heard the saying..."love is a two way street "?
Someone is asking what to do because they are really in love and it is not reciprocated. Tolle's answer: Relationship sucks anyway. Because it is just co-dependency and you will realize sooner or later that the other person cannot give you happiness and then you will be disappointed. So litterally he is saying: You are better off without a partner. My thoughts: It doesn't have to be like this. If you are already happy, fulfilled, someone else can also make you happy. Making someone happy doesn't mean they are not happy already. This is what real love is.. enjoying the other person, appreciating them, being romantic, being in love, cuddling, being wild, being funny and joyful. Just having a great time together. And this has to be constantly being worked on. You have to be in communication, speaking about your feelings, desires, problems. There is always a solution. And you have to be willing to face yourself and your shadow.
That's not love, that's company. A robot could do it and be your partner so you won't feel lonely. Alexa will end up giving conversations in a full body and the marriage percentage will decrease by half. I got over relations since I don't want my mood to be dictated by someone else's mood. If you leave me alone I'm literally 99% of the time happy. And I'm really glad that I realized it.
In personal relationships we attract specific people who help us work out our karmic debt. Pay close attention to the issues with that person- those are exact lessons you have to learn otherwise same situation/relationship will keep on repeating..unless you learn that karmic lesson. Some lessons are very hard, yes. One has to be clear on what he has to work on-then forgive, let it go and move on.
what a beautiful happy man, i hope i get to meet you one day, I havent quite grasp all concepts, but i hope to one day, what i know so far, is priceless! I understand you mor than any other spiritual teacher, god bless you..
A few years ago, I was going to ask the Universe for a million dollars, but then I thought, that I really need to improve my state of mind first. So I sent that intent out. The very next day, a friend came by and said, " maybe you can get something out of this book." He handed me "The Power of Now". I started reading it and thought, "This is exactly what I am looking for". I read more and more. Slowly applying Eckharts teachings. I have experienced real life improving results.
Maybe "falling in love" is not the good relationship, because it is based on hunger, desire, longing, etc. Maybe a lighter partnership is longer lasting and, in its way, more fulfilling. I can't live without you? B.S. I need deep connections with others--true.
Imagine what those in a relationship in the audience thought about themselves after this session. The only solution Tolle suggest is to bypass the need of a partner. What would the long term consequence be for the world? I think using his philosophy to practice unconditional love would be better.
Self love first. The relationship with the self the soul. Find real love and harmony there and everything in external world mirrors that. The external is a mirror or every individuals interior. It’s really that simple. Two healthy individuals partnering up makes a healthy happy relationship. Interdependent relationship. Not co-dependant. Plus someone will die first anyway so if your self worth comes from another that’s not good. We come into the world alone and leave alone. So cultivate the relationship with yourself.
I have a deep-seated need for love. Even though I am a Present person, and not presently in a relationship - in fact, I just broke up with one - hooray me! - even as I remove the layers and layers of unconscious ways I express my desperate, unconscious need for love and become more conscious of the way I grasp fulfilment of this need in the external environment, it continues to amaze me how sneaky this unconsciousness of mine is. I've just discovered phobias - google passive dependent personality disorder....and it's revealed a whole new world of how this desperate grip of needing external emotional support from the external world controls my life. Oy veigh! Mindfulness.... breaths.... thoughts....
It's the difference between coming from a place of need and coming from a place of having joy to offer another person. The 'trying to fill a hole' notion is a dead end - it keeps you in that hole. Happiness is inside YOU - your loneliness and sense of separateness is your ego. YOU are not your ego (your thoughts). You are not your mind chatter - there actually IS joy inside you, you just haven't gotten to it yet.
I know what you are talking about, I too brought a yes to the deep longing and now, the "unrequitted love" is still unrequitted, but the painfull sense of lack is actually replaced by a joyous outpouring of love, in which everyone is welcome. of course I keep losing that state and keep falling back. my inner state resembles a yo-yo :D
My friend sent me this quote: "We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness." - HST
One of the things that causes me to trust a spiritual leader is whether they have a sense of humour.
learn to meditate - it's easy to do. It takes time and the 2 obstacles your ego will put up are bordom and sleep. Your mind will tell you it's stupid, a waste of time, make you sleepy, tell you you should be DOING something else etc. It will kick up a shit storm before it starts to slow down. But with persistance, it will slow down and then - stop. And in that silence is where your answers are. Good luck friend.
I like that "ping" in the beginning
Ting :)
me too haha
You literally saved my life with the book The power of now.
From a crazy stressed aggressive addict through 25 years, to almost normal in no time.
Thank you.
Almost Normal LOL ! Good for you to keep it honest
Oh no. This is about my last relationship. I had so much love for her and tried so hard to make it work. I had romanticize an idea of a life with her so much I couldn't see that we weren't right for each other. It was exhausting and traumatizing but I'm healing from it and ready to move on. I definitely won't make those mistakes again... No matter how badly I want it to work.
Finding true love begins with Loving yourself. You must know that you are whole, complete and do not need another human being to complete you.
Then you will recognize and attract people who are vibrating at the same frequency.
Your life is a mirror. You will only attract that which you are on the inside.
Love attracts love.
Two halves will never make a whole.
You attract your soulmate by becoming your soulmate.
Egoic attachment, exactly, that's all! Few of us understands what "love" truly is.
A better answer is love is about giving of self with out hooks. Most people think a relatinship is about taking something when really it is about giving something freely.
This is true. I started to hate a person and become extremely aggressive and possessive. I was exhausting myself. I just dropped it. I feel lighter now.
What is called love is that deep seated need of the ego....jeez this man is amazing
Man. I just went thru this. I knew what was happening, that i was attaching to illusion. I thought i could handle it and just enjoy the feeling. It totally exploded in my face. The pain was horrible. Gettin over it. Bit lonely tho! Good lesson
huepix same... 😭
True love requires patience.
Love is not "feelings" or attraction. They are only a catalyst for "energizing" interest beyond basic aquaintace. Feelings are temporary and are meant to be. Problems occur when couples get involved sexually, or enter into marriage BEFORE the possibility of experiencing TRUE LOVE.
After feelings, the next POTENTIAL phase is love (e.g. when a man and woman seek to "give" more than "receive" from each other).
Few couples have that kind of patience.
this video offers a cure for romantic love so simple and concise you could carry it in your pocket and never be blindsided again. anyone who watches this video and then repeats the same mistakes is not interested in a cure, and should ask themselves what it is they're getting out of having chaos and deception at such a deep level of their being.
True love is the knowledge that all life is one life. Egoic love is no more than a preference that changes as we grow. The further we have to grow, the more likely it is that our preferences will change, thus relationships are more likely to last when we know whom we really are and what it is, on a spiritual level, that allows us to be content. That contentment comes from within, not from without. Without is a place where something is missing and nothing is missing - we are perfect just the way we are.
I am 63 yrs old and was married for 15 yrs many years ago, have had relationships over the years, but none ever seemed to be 'Right'. About four years ago I was in a relationship with a good man for three years and began to feel unsettled and depressed (but didn't know at first it was to do with the relationship.) Once I realised I was devastated as I knew I couldn't carry on with the relationship but more than anything the pain it would, and did cause him. I knew from that moment on I could never have another relationship until I knew why I had made all the previous mistakes with my relationships and to understand the overwhelming feeling I had at the end of that last relationship, and that was - 'It's not enough'. Eckhart explained it to perfection. I need to make me 'whole' I can't look for a relationship to do that! I suppose I always knew that but really 'knowing' it now I feel I can achieve finding 'The One' with getting to know myself more and more! It's never to late to learn and change and develop!
+Ann Redgewell Very genuine and thoughtful sharing. Thank you.
Ann Redgewell
Nah thinking about it will hardly solve anything... In love you must be lucky to find someone you really click. I am 23 have been in love (not real love just strongly attraction) with 3 girls but due to circumstances i had no control over it never worked out. The girls who liked me i couldn't like them back, i wish someday i can be lucky too...
Ann Redgewell
you just need a man who will protect you from yourself.
Have you researched into ROCD?
He has such a calm and mesmerizing voice. I always feel good every time I hear him speak. I know exactly what it is like to love someone who did not love me back. Funny thing is, there was always this little voice of intuition telling me something was not right. The last night we where together, I cried myself to sleep. Just a few days after that,he broke up with me. I think it was his pain body clinging to me for a while, and he was flattered that a women could find him so attractive because he had never had that before. I know that the pain is egoic and that I do not need another person to complete who I am, but it was still extremely painful and all these years later it still hurts a little when I think about it.
Hang in there dear Michelle! Observe thoughts, emotions you are going through. Although it could be difficult but consider your breakup as catalyst to the awareness. Awareness to the 'essense' that exists beyond our ego. That is intrinsically pure and fulfilled already. I myself tried this so I thought it might help you. Take care!
Michelle Hayton Always listen to you inner Voice,she says not the one,it is so!!And Man don’t need Relationships,they want to be free and they want to go do there thing alone and if they need something only then they back,and here they go again!Its Creasy we are sooo different,a relationship is a big Challenge!!Most times not right!
Vv
"it was never love in the first place" -- love it!
I like the analogy of 'completion' that we seek from a love relationship. I also appreciate the obvious extrapolation from there of why it hurts so much when it is not reciprocated. Love requires courage. It requires devotion and acceptance. Whether reciprocated or not- Love is love.
Nobody can 'make' anyone 'happy'. If that's why we seek a relationship it's a set up for failure. It's a burden and an impossible task with impossible expectations of the one you assigned to hand you a life of happiness. Besides - happiness is a passing feeling, as opposed to contentment and joy which I feel we are really looking for. In love, there's not much to say. There's peace just being together.
CouldLiveOnTH-cam I love your name. I just about do....😄
I would like it if someone like Eckhart Tolle would shed light on the topic of soul mates.
Eckhart has a deep understanding of the thing we call love. He's gotten deep down into the DNA of pain body heart, and his words and understanding are so clear. I thank you.
I Love Eckhart! what a great soul.
777palena
The only thing great about him is his ability to repackage and market old lies for the modern era. His soul is not great it is deceived.
I think they're laughing at how ridiculous the idea of a relationship is after listening to how Eckhart describes them, rather laughing at the persons pain. He makes alot of sense; it's quite scary in fact!
what about unconditional love. you don't require the other person to complete you..let them go and be happy for them.
Being kind in offering that joy to another springs from love and compassion.
The pain of not being loved back is real. It is not an ego-mind speaking. It is so sad that so many true feelings of people’s hearts: the need, desire, heartbreak of rejection, longing and passion for the other person are laughed at and called unspiritual. It’s true that the ego-mind can grab onto those feelings and make it all about oneself. But those feelings arise for the Beloved, in the relationship to the Beloved, and out of love. And that’s worthy of respect, not laughter.
Marten Dekker thank goodness you are here patrolling these videos to rescue us from Eckhart’s evil clutches!
The laughter is not at the person with the pain. The laughter is seeing how we're all so susceptible to that feeling, but in the moment we don't realize the pain doesn't need to exist. When you realize that, it becomes a joke. The pain is real, the sensation is real, Tolle is not taking anything away from that. In fact realizing your pain is a step forward in a spiritual journey. But the truth this, if you really become open, the pain you're experiencing is not a direct result of someone rejecting you. How do you know? Because if the person you loved pretended to love you and you didn't know, you would still feel the happiness or the high. If you could REALLY sense someone's love for you, you should be able to know when someone's pretending. Thus the pain is not really caused because of the rejection. The pain is because when you're rejected you immediately feel worse about yourself. You think you're unworthy, you assume you're incomplete and you always will be. These are the symptoms of the "Ego", unfortunately, they are not out of love. If you really loved someone, you would love them even when they don't love you. You wouldn't bother them. You'll let them be. You love them for their existence and being, not because they're providing you with love. This kind of love is possible. And you can only do this if you look past the "ego" and love yourself first. You must love yourself first. You must realize you do not need to long for someone else, because you can feel complete without someone else. All the best to anyone experience pain.
the one i thought would be my life partner has just left me
thank you this brought me back
It’s true that in our selfishness we tend to make a mess out of falling in love. But the mess comes from the ego taking over the true love, desire, need, affection and devotion to the other person. The ego wants to GET love, GET fulfilled, GET happy. It has its use of love. But to love truly is to stay with the heart, love & care for others, regardless of ones own benefit or loss, pleasure or pain it could bring. True love IS possible. It needs to be protected from the ego & its twisted mind.
Gina Crowley 👍🏼
Love =Giving Ego=Taking
Gina Crowley your comments❤
This man has changed my life. Wow. Thank you. 😊
So darn freeing, so darn hysterical. How I appreciate Mr. Tolle's clarity.
This wisdom about love being a need to fill an empliness and the myth that relationships are, is very helpful to me, because I have spent a great deal of my adult life trying to fill that hole in a feudal search for the right mate. Echhart is a great teacher, and moving our understanding to another level.
i love me... (that is a one-sided relationship isn't it) i am never lonely... i enjoy solitude... stillness... emptiness... i am the nothingness... which means...
"IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD"...
I like you MrDrofinnah :)
Even though you look like a grumpy old man.
Peace.
most times grumpy... always old... yet life is always in the moment... seems a very hard place for most to dwell... "whirled peas"...
in stillness... there is no thing to love... no thing there... no thing ness is the thing people fear most... spirit has no feminine or masculine side... for it is no thing...
this "thing" called "spirituality" is not found by what one think one knows of things... but in one's ability to let go of what one thinks one knows... ya know...??? :-)
is "awareness" a thing... is it masculine or feminine...??? true "awareness" is "LOVE"... for if one is "aware"... one "knows"...
+MrDrofinnah very cool.
+MrDrofinnah ..if you can laugh at 'those'.. not your .. thoughts.. thoughts that create tense and 'grumpy' feelings (young or old), then you have actually created that little space between them and you.. but we just can't feel it yet. We just need a little more acceptance..or inner stillness .. surrender to the shape of now.. all shapes.. start with a beautiful tree!!
so portals ..listening .. or as I do.. listening to ET .. or someone in that space of now.. between thoughts ..
This will help those feelings dissipate..
still moments happen.. manifest and peace feelings follow.. this is how we all find our way.
grumpy? .. we can all say yes to this feeling
yes
:)
he's so stinking cute
Dear Olaf,
Eckhart's power shows in the fact that this video alone has been watched 388829 times, to date. He is already the most powerful spiritual teacher living. Whatever his "image" appears to be to you or to me is merely form, as perceived by our egos, and has no meaning.
Glad you love his work. So do I.
two half full glass meet to feel full. but in order for one to be full, the other as to be emptied. when two full glass meet, they leak on each other.
Erik Lemay what do u mean they leak on each other?
THE WAY HE LAUGHES IS UNIQUE, i love it!
operation succeeded. My heart has been healed. :)
I need to see Eckhart videos more often, and find people who are into creating a "New Earth"
Very nice answer. And that is always with Eckhart.
I love your videos, speeches, discourses.
I like his laugh and sense of humor
Eckhart speaks true wisdom- he is spot on with this subject!
Stef,
Hang in there...you will be ok. Accept that you are hurting and that it is ok to be hurting over being alone.
The pain you are feeling is not who you are, it is what you are going through.
You have all the beautiful, radiant energy of life inside and around you; let that naturally come back into your life.
I once lost a 7 year relationship and felt pain for months, maybe years on and off. At the time, I thought my life was over and I could see no good reason for this to happen. Now I have a wonderful person in my life again and I would not have met her had the prior relationship not ended.
If you believe that life will give you what you really need, then a great comfort comes, and things will move in that direction. You will be open and ready when life hands you those opportunities. Please work on loving your life, your family, and any or all of the small things around you. Start your day with a sense of gratitude for all the gifts you have and build from there. Try not to focus on your loss, but all that you have, and including your amazing life. Everyone will likely have to start over again at one point in their life. Something amazing will happen for you soon. Be ready and open for it to happen:!
Byron Katie is another great source besides Tolle on finding your way out of pain. Do the work and you will feel better, I promise.
Thank you. :) I can't get him out of my head. I just want to be with him.
Thank You!
this helped me so much, thank you
Thank you Eckhart for all your inspiartion. My heart and soul is changing. Im so thankful. I always have your book near me. It always saves me. T
I guess i was a smart kid because somehow i always knew most of this. You feel the truth and relationships seem so corrupt. But true innocent love is a different story.
U calm me down ... Ekhart tole you move in a way that makes me feel calm
We are not complete. We love another because they give us something we could not give ourselves. When I fell in love, it was because I believed I had found someone who taught me goodness. With them, I discovered a part of myself I hadn't seen since my childhood. And there were wordless things there. I felt truly touched by nature in a way that led me to become naturally LESS egoic. To say we shouldn't love others because their "form" is to say we shouldn't choose friends with similar interests.
if u love some one and u expect him/her to comply or surrender to ur well, or to give u the attention u wish,,, this is not love,,, the real love is to love somebody where ever he goes and whatever he decides without expecting any thing back.
+David3624 Yes love is altruistic!
Yes!! True & Selfless Love!!! Only God Loves Us Totally with out condition!! Though I Love someone for over 40 years Unconditionally and we have not been together since!!
Bull
So you're saying cheating is okay? :/
@Jane
I know it is easier said than done to love unconditionally. But ultimately we will realize our action is never contingent on others ' doings . Just like the saying goes : "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional " Power of CHOICE indeed .
In my experiene , most ppl including me turn to spiritual side of life when the ego is hurted and in pain . Sometimes going inside pain is the way out of pain . Because you can only let go of st when u understand it .
This is AWESOME
Thank you so much for posting it.
Love love love
Mr Tolle, your insight is impeccable, and your explanations and guidance are unmatched !
Thank you so much for your wonderful teachings and signposts !
your writing about finding a man like your father made me relate, thank you
I love the way he analyses and explains these dilemmas. I too feel calm listening to his voice and can relate so much to the points he makes. He is also very funny with it in a subtle way. I can understand why the audience laughs out loud. It is generally to do with the absurdity of how we perceive life in and the problems we make out of it.
people need to be whole and complete BEFORE the enter a relationship love without this self completion on both sides is doomed to fail in my opinion.
Looking to another person to complete you and make you happy will never work. You are complete already. When you are happy within yourself then you don't need a relationship to complete you, that's when your relationships can thrive.
Wow how did he manage to make me laugh - this subject is very raw to me. had a girl who was totally into me and then just lost interest. I realise now its not personal, its my ego hurting. and that she could never make me truly happy anyway. Brilliant Eckhart.
I LOVE THIS SPEECH FROM ECKHART NEVER GET TIRED TO LISTEN TKS ECKHART TOLLE
I think Eckhart sums relationships up well. People getting into relationships for all the wrong reasons with people they don't really love. People wanting their partner to show them they are loved by giving them the attention they want and the right words. I often look at couples and ask myself if they are happy or really in love. When one relationship ends people just enter another relationship to fulfill what they are searching for.
when we love some and they dont love us back, it means two things. (a) the person we love has met up to our expectation ( b) the have not lived up to the expectation of the person we love.
Many persons today fallin love because their needs are being met...BUT they fail to realize that the other person has needs as well. So dont complain when you are not loved in return. Do a self analysis.
Most women are guilty of not "giving"...because they feel they are queen and only men need to give give give. Give emotional support, love, money, material things. Ladies...this is not the way. Ever heard the saying..."love is a two way street "?
He delivers his teachings in a wonderful way :) LOVE it.
Some people will not be ready for this yet, and thats OK
Love XX
oh my. this is so true. thanks Eckhart.
You are an amazing human being. thanks for sharing.
He's so cute when he laughs 😍
Someone is asking what to do because they are really in love and it is not reciprocated.
Tolle's answer: Relationship sucks anyway. Because it is just co-dependency and you will realize sooner or later that the other person cannot give you happiness and then you will be disappointed.
So litterally he is saying: You are better off without a partner.
My thoughts: It doesn't have to be like this. If you are already happy, fulfilled, someone else can also make you happy. Making someone happy doesn't mean they are not happy already. This is what real love is.. enjoying the other person, appreciating them, being romantic, being in love, cuddling, being wild, being funny and joyful. Just having a great time together. And this has to be constantly being worked on. You have to be in communication, speaking about your feelings, desires, problems. There is always a solution. And you have to be willing to face yourself and your shadow.
Exactly Right! Totally Agree! HAPPY GETTING ALONG WITH HAPPY 😃 = HAPPY
That's not love, that's company. A robot could do it and be your partner so you won't feel lonely. Alexa will end up giving conversations in a full body and the marriage percentage will decrease by half. I got over relations since I don't want my mood to be dictated by someone else's mood. If you leave me alone I'm literally 99% of the time happy. And I'm really glad that I realized it.
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe Tolle ever said that??
This was so great it gave me chills.
Thank you for this! 🙏❤️
I think he explained it perfectly...I saw your comment before watching it but he answered every part of the question there was...
one of the best love longs ever created...and strange to see it in a film like this
@postmasterw00t : well said. no point in dating a girl that only responds to being treated badly.
I would really like to hear the end of Echardt's answer to the question. Is there a link to part 2?
wonderful :)...makes perfect sense....thank you Eckhart Tolle
In personal relationships we attract specific people who help us work out our karmic debt. Pay close attention to the issues with that person- those are exact lessons you have to learn otherwise same situation/relationship will keep on repeating..unless you learn that karmic lesson. Some lessons are very hard, yes. One has to be clear on what he has to work on-then forgive, let it go and move on.
Thank you Eckhart!
Brilliant - thank you again!
I love his laugh
what a beautiful happy man, i hope i get to meet you one day, I havent quite grasp all concepts, but i hope to one day, what i know so far, is priceless! I understand you mor than any other spiritual teacher, god bless you..
A few years ago, I was going to ask the Universe for a million dollars, but then I thought, that I really need to improve my state of mind first. So I sent that intent out. The very next day, a friend came by and said, " maybe you can get something out of this book." He handed me "The Power of Now". I started reading it and thought, "This is exactly what I am looking for". I read more and more. Slowly applying Eckharts teachings. I have experienced real life improving results.
in time I learned to learn from every spiritual teacher, human..and not to compare thing..enormous wisdom comes with this and relief
I get so calm to listening to him....(even if I would not listen to what he says...!) (His voice calms me down...)
I really needed that.thanks :)
Spot on! Love this guy!
i wish you a peacefull mind!
have a nice day
You r amazing you explained the love aspect and marrige
Whoa!...this has happened to me!.....makes total sense!
Well done eckhart!...stunningly simple!
Maybe "falling in love" is not the good relationship, because it is based on hunger, desire, longing, etc. Maybe a lighter partnership is longer lasting and, in its way, more fulfilling.
I can't live without you? B.S. I need deep connections with others--true.
He just took out every strand of the fake love... What a great human... Love is simple and without unwanted drama
really identifying with the last minutes 8:45... :( damn our ego! and damn the things we do to ourselves or endure for in the name of "love"
Good stuff, Thanks!
This video popped up on my recommendation as i was going through ego struggle with my wife.
Great video explaining the falseness of falling in love.
Imagine what those in a relationship in the audience thought about themselves after this session. The only solution Tolle suggest is to bypass the need of a partner. What would the long term consequence be for the world? I think using his philosophy to practice unconditional love would be better.
Self love first. The relationship with the self the soul. Find real love and harmony there and everything in external world mirrors that. The external is a mirror or every individuals interior. It’s really that simple. Two healthy individuals partnering up makes a healthy happy relationship. Interdependent relationship. Not co-dependant. Plus someone will die first anyway so if your self worth comes from another that’s not good. We come into the world alone and leave alone. So cultivate the relationship with yourself.
I have a deep-seated need for love. Even though I am a Present person, and not presently in a relationship - in fact, I just broke up with one - hooray me! - even as I remove the layers and layers of unconscious ways I express my desperate, unconscious need for love and become more conscious of the way I grasp fulfilment of this need in the external environment, it continues to amaze me how sneaky this unconsciousness of mine is. I've just discovered phobias - google passive dependent personality disorder....and it's revealed a whole new world of how this desperate grip of needing external emotional support from the external world controls my life. Oy veigh! Mindfulness.... breaths.... thoughts....
Another wonderful video!
WE LOVE UR ACHING HEART MAN
His smile is the best 😊
He's so funny, and very, very wise. Thank you Eckhart
It's the difference between coming from a place of need and coming from a place of having joy to offer another person. The 'trying to fill a hole' notion is a dead end - it keeps you in that hole. Happiness is inside YOU - your loneliness and sense of separateness is your ego. YOU are not your ego (your thoughts). You are not your mind chatter - there actually IS joy inside you, you just haven't gotten to it yet.
I know what you are talking about, I too brought a yes to the deep longing and now, the "unrequitted love" is still unrequitted, but the painfull sense of lack is actually replaced by a joyous outpouring of love, in which everyone is welcome. of course I keep losing that state and keep falling back. my inner state resembles a yo-yo :D
If you are truly Awakened, then nothing "sucks".
❤❤❤❤❤ thank you so much