HARDEST VIDEO I EVER FILMED | DESI PERKINS
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- This is a long one....but it all needed to be said. I hope this video helps anyone that's going through something similar, and to know that you're not alone. I also hope this video educates anyone who doesn't know how pregnancy questions could affect someone who's dealt or dealing with a stillbirth, miscarriages, infertility & any other pregnancy complications.
Extending all my love to all of those who are suffering. Know that I'm here with you ❤️
Who else is here after she announced her pregnancy? So exciting!!
Meeeee it's just so exciting.
I'm so happyyy for herrrr
Watching this after she’s had her son has me in all my feels 🥺
Me too
My mom struggled for 11 years! She went to a specialist and me and my TWIN SISTER were born. She gave up and the day she gave up she passed out and the doctor told her she was pregnant and WITH TWINS. It will happen for you we love you and appreciate you. God has his timing.💕
almost 2 years later and she is carrying the biggest gift. Cannot wait for the baby to realise what fantastic parents it has and how much love it will experience in his/her life time. After all the tears, finally happy tears ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Jana Re almost two years
🙏
Honestly if Desi decided to take a break from TH-cam and focus on herself and her family and having a baby, I would be very supportive and just wait for her to come back.
Kristine Val D. 1000000000%
yeah definitely agree with this! We'll always be here for Desi if she does decide to do that :)
I have never wanted kids but it is sad when women who want children and can’t have them. It even more sets the tone that it is INAPPROPRIATE AND INCONSIDERATE to constantly berate any woman about pregnancy. My heart goes out to you Desi.
His reaction to the pregnancy test.. I’m bawling my eyes out and I never never never cry that easy. This breaks my heart. We’re here for you Desi. You are an amazing human being and I hope all your dreams will come true. We love you❤️
This popped up on my recommendation again. I remember watching this video crying with her because I was suffering the same thing. Funny, I actually prayed for her and me after the video asking god to help us through this since I Tried and failed and gave up.. kinda like her. I started my ivf too and so did Desi. Last month I had my baby and now desi is due. 2020 might be awful but it gave us both that miracle and I feel in my heart when I prayed after watching this video then , god said amen. Congrats again my dearest desi.. much love and have a blessed safe pregnancy and birth.
Shweta I’ miss ur videos and you... congrats darling Soooo happy for you..lots of love hugs to you and your baby.... can’t wait to see u❤️❤️❤️
thats why i never ask anyone when they're going to start a family. you never know what that couple is going through or if they are struggling to have a baby. Desi, never lose faith and hope. know you aren't alone. One day you will make an amazing mother.
BEEutiful You SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK 🙋♀️❤
Exactly! People are way too noisy 😠
Hannah Garside i learned that after my best friend struggled for years to have a baby. she finally went to a fertility dr and by the grace of God and her doctor she has a little girl right now but to see her and her hubby go through that broke my heart. so when Desi is blessed with a little one its going to be that much more special
Same here. It can be such a sensitive & personal topic. Respect ✊
থ
I’m 41 and I still remember the multiple negative pregnancy tests aka soul crushers and one miscarriage I still don’t talk about till this day. It is so brave of you to share this. So much love to you. Sincerely, mother of 3 amazing boys and one beautiful granddaughter.
Desi...
My heart ACHES for you, tears streaming down my face and every inch of me wants to grab you in a giant hug and cry. Please know you that you are in my prayers. I keep typing things trying to be helpful and I know that the only thing I can do is pray. Sending you a mountain of love right now and hope one day you are blessed with a family when the time is right. 💗
RachhLoves Thank you so so so much for this. It means the world to have the love and support you and many others have given me through this video ❤️❤️❤️
My parents met in college, officially married when my mom was 28 and my dad was 30. They couldn't have kids for 6 years, until my mom was 34, and that's when she had my brother. A year later, she got pregnant again, but had a miscarriage. When she was 36 she got pregnant for the third time and they got me. I'm 20 now. Please don't ever lose hope. Sending you love ♥
This is WHY you NEVER ask people about having children. It doesn’t matter how good your intentions are, you may be hurting that person. You don’t know what they’re going through. You don’t know what you’re triggering.
Thanks for this video, Desi. I truly hope your dream comes true. I also hope you can find the strength to fight all the fights, if need be.
This took a lot of courage. You’re braver and stronger than you think.
Solange Santos totally agree... Everytime someone asks me, I feel like saying in a very blunt and rude way NEVER SINCE I CAN'T, I'M STERIL just to make them feel bad... But I'm a good girl I just smile and say soon hopefully, knowing that's not possible
So very true Solange Santos. This was a hard video to watch. Made my heart hurt for her. I struggled for many many years and felt so sad that I never had a baby. I cringed when people kept asking why I didn't have children. Grrrr! Actually I wanted to punch them! Now at 46, thankfully the good Lord has taken away that pain and sadness I used to experience. I now am happy and content with my life with just me and my hubby. And I'm so very thankful and grateful. Not saying time will heal and take away that desire for anyone desiring to be a mom, but for me, I am now ok. I pray for all who want to be a mommy or daddy that their dream will come true!
Gaby G I'm sorry you can't have kids, however, I don't think you should lie to the person and say hopefully soon when you know you can't. Maybe there is a way to say it in a kind way that you can't? I feel like it's a question that I see alot of people asking. Maybe telling someone that you can't will enlighten them, and they will think twice before asking someone again... and that it's not a polite to ask someone that. Just my opinion, I don't mean to be rude :)
Gaby G that breaks my heart i'm so sorry
Natasha Fournier thank you.
You know... that's the thing... Why should I or other men and women have to explain to people... Just dont ask...it's a sensitive topic to a lot of us... Because even tho I dont hurt anymore and have accepted God's plans it's not something I feel like explaining. Thank you again for your advice.
Also can everyone STOP ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY ARE PREGNANT. I don't care if they look 9 months pregnant, there is no reason and never a good situation to ask. Let them tell you. Period.
I am 34 and I have no kids. Yet. I'm still waiting though. I haven't lost hope. You have so much faith, you're strong and happy, You will get pregnant , Desi. You are not alone in this! Sending you all my love! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I tried for at least 10 years to get pregnant. It was such a disappointment every time I took a pregnancy test and didn't see that positive result. I used to cry about it and beat myself up but my sister just kept telling me "God will give you a baby when the time is right" I, of course, thought it was just words to try and comfort me. So I finally, after 10 years of trying, gave up and came to grips with the fact that I would never have a child. Then, after I stopped trying, BAM I was pregnant. I didn't even take a pregnancy test like I had so many times before. I just rushed to the doctor thinking I must have a tumor. The doctor asked if there was a possibility that I could be pregnant and I told her no, that I couldn't get pregnant. But she made me take a test anyway and that's how I found out. She said once I stopped trying and relaxed it made my body more accepting of the process. And I now have 3 beautiful children. I say all this to say "God will give you a baby when the time is right". You'll be in my prayers. Don't give up hope but don't rush it either.
reyangi your comment made me smile ❤️ Happy everything worked out
She is due in 3-4 weeks now💕💕💕
After THREE miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy and a blighted ovum I stop obsessing over it and basically saying screw it‼️ I ended up with TWO beautiful HEALTHY boys‼️‼️‼️ ( I was scared shitless for the entire time) Give it God and let things happen. Desi‼️ 💕 💗
Lesson learned to the people that keep commenting "have babies already". BE MORE SENSITIVE AND THOUGHTFUL. We don't have any idea what people are going through.
People 100,000% need to stop asking anything pregnancy related. You never know what someone else has gone through/might be going through.
jennybeYOUty this 🙌🏻
jennybeYOUty so true
My husband and I struggle almost 3 years of infertility and then out of the clue I got pregnant whit my beautiful daughter Kenia and 2 days before the delivery (C-section) she past in my womb. We are still struggling whit grief and anxiety from her lost. Now I'm pregnant whit our rainbow baby and is a hell rollercoaster every single day. But trust me God never ever leaves or side we are the ones who let him out. He crys whit us. This is life is not easy and nobody has everything together. We all have or ups and downs. Sending you lost of hugs.
Daniela Rey Im so sorry for your lost. Thats My biggest fear of pregnancy-losing a child. I don’t cope with grief well 😢 My prayers and with you and your family, I hope everything is going well with your pregnancy.
*are
I want to just hug you after reading this. I'm so sorry! Praying your rainbow baby is healthy & happy.
I am so sorry about your baby in heaven. Wishing much blessings and happiness with your new baby :) God bless
Dios te bendiga a ti a tu familia y a tu bebé
My mom had six miscarriages before she had me. We're with you Desi, you are not alone. You are strong and beautiful and loved and courageous and wonderful. Bless your heart my dear.
Kathleen An important member in my family went through this also, she is now in her 6th month. Finally reached first in her life to have the bump. I hope she can finally be happy. Her, Desi and many other women are so so strong and brave! True inspirations ❤️
Aletta Petra Albert Congratulations to the blessed mother! I hope everything goes well for the family 💖
Kathleen Thank you! I really hope too!! She is expecting late November, would be a wonderful Christmas! 😊
Aletta Petra Albert That's wonderful! My birthday is in November too, first week. Praying for the mother and the baby's safety! Your family will have such a wonderful Christmas gift 😊
I had to pause twice because you brought up old feelings. I had cancer at 26 and never can have children of my own. My husband never left my side, that’s why I know we have keepers. What ever God has planed for you, whether it’s adoption or natural birth you two will make wonderful parents. My new motto has been “you may have not grown under my heart but in it.” Love you guys. I have a new found respect for both of you.
Denise Ancira-Medina What a beautiful thing to say 💕
❤️
Sending you love 💗 it’s so beautiful that you shared that with her and your kind words. You are so strong as well!
Denise Ancira-Medina 🤗💜
Watching your video and seeing you be a light of hope for women struggling with pregnancy makes me so proud and honored to be a part of your community. It took my mom 10 years and a few miscarriages to have me but I am HERE! Your baby is waiting for you just like I waited for my mom. I can’t wait for the day to celebrate with you. Sending love ❤️
I watched this video when it came out10 months ago and I am still sad about this? She's still not pregnant and she's such an angel she deserves the world.
Theculber I was just thinking the same 😢
I was thinking the same :(
Go see her latest video! ♥️
I’m bawling my eyes out right now. I get asked all the time by my social media followers when I’m going to have a baby. It always breaks my heart because I won’t ever be able to carry a child because cancer took that away from me. People just don’t understand how hard these types of questions are. You are so strong. Y’all are in my prayers. I love you girl🦋
Cheyann Shaw You are incredible! I’m so sorry people are unaware of their words. You are in my prayers!
I truly balled my eyes out alongside you throughout the entire video. I admire your strength and have full faith that one day you will be the best mommy ever. Thank you for sharing such a private/personal struggle with all your followers, you have an ARMY of people praying for you and Steven now. Sending lots of hugs to you both, we love y'all❤️
I don’t know what to say, I can’t seem to find the right words. I’ve been reading through all these empowering comments from other incredible women. I hope you feel the love that is being sent your way, Desi. I am so thankful to all the people that are trying to lift you up and create a loving, safe space. All of my hugs and love ❤️
THEY ARE PREGNANT ! sending love to you both, you guys deserve the BEST
Harper is right by your side because she knows you are sad. Dogs are so loyal. I wish you and your husband the best. You are incredibly strong. Much love xox
I had to do five years of fertility treatments, seven ivf cycles, I lost two babies, to finally have my son. He came at 26 weeks gestation and spent 134 days in nicu after I had to spend a month in hospital on bedrest, he was dead for four minutes at birth, but thankgod he finally came home 12 weeks ago.
My heart is with you, the pain of the loss of your baby never leaves you 💕
To everybody who keeps asking youtubers when they're getting pregnant, I hope this teaches you a lesson to mind your own business because you don't know what this youtuber might be going through. I'm sure this journey was hard enough for her and on top of that people kept pressuring her. Desi you deserve all the happiness in the world and I'm sure you'll be an amazing mom one day.
Not only to youtubers but to anyone*
Thank you. Thank you for posting this. I suffered from a miscarriage recently and have had issues with my fertility ever since. I’ve been feeling depressed and less feminine lately due to all the issues. I keep coming back to this video and feeling like I have a friend who can actually relate to me. Thank you.
This broke my heart so bad. I literally just prayed while I was watching this that God will open your womb at the perfect time and that His peace comforts you until then...and I don’t pray empty prayers!! We love you so much Desi ❤️
Lorissa Turner word up
Lorissa Turner I stand in agreement! Amen!
In Jesus name Amen 🙏
Lorissa Turner me too sister! Deep prayers, feeling for them putting ourselves in their position and loving and hoping for them the best like they are our blood is the way one should pray, and believing it in the deepest part of our hearts! We love you Desi Perkins!
Amen
To the 100 something people that disliked this video I pray that God blesses you all and puts some happiness in your life, I can't imagine how someone could dislike such a beautiful & raw video. Desi you are so strong for posting this!! You are helping so many of us just by posting this you don't even know! We love you!!! ❤️
Lindsey Wilson that is exactly what I was thinking. If people cannot relate, simply don't watch. People have become so insensitive to realise it hurts, even when it is not in real life!
I don’t have much faith in humanity...but I’m choosing to pretend that they “dislike” how sad she is & not the concept over all. I know that isn’t true...but I just can’t accept that people are so mean. 🙃
They're probably women who are struggling to get pregnant too and the video probably reminds them of their own pain.
Whether you can get pregnant or not, baby perkin dna or not; you will be the best, most patient and loving mama bear out there if you two decide one way or the other.
You are such a beautiful soul. The world needs you to raise children so they can be the same like-minded as you both ❤️❤️❤️ be strong des baby❤️
I remember a year ago seeing this video and now they are finally having a baby!!! Desi I’m so happy for you I love you guys so much. You have all been through such a journey and now that time has finally come for you both. I’m filled with so much joy and happy tears for you guys. 🤍
Can we as a society, and as women, please please please stop asking people about their plans to have kids? It's such a touchy subject , and we don't know what that other persons' journey has been, and how much hurt and guilt such a little question can cause.
Desi, thank you so much for sharing, you are definitely not alone in this struggle. Be kind to yourself, I believe it will happen when the time is right ❤️❤️
beth ardron THIS 100%. But also once someone is pregnant to stop continuing to ask such personal questions and judging a woman by the choices she’s making for herself and her child.
Smash Diggins okay so let’s say you and your wife or whoever just found out you had a miscarriage then a week later you get multiple questions from your family/ friends “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE CUTE PLEASE HAVE KIDS!!” Knowing that you just lost a future baby.
I know how hard pregnancy could be. Have gone through it all and so relate. Remember doctors aren’t always right. Time works everything out, have faith😊 💜. Thank you so much for opening your heart up.
Smash Diggins welp, you totally missed the point 🙃
beth ardron it's usually the mothers that press their kids about kids tbh
Oh desi. I think we all want to hug you right now. My husband and I tried for 3 years before going to specialist. We tried using meds and alternative ways. It never happened for us desi, but...... we were foster parents for 6 years and have 4 adopted kids
I couldn't be more happy. Gods no is for a greater yes. Its not easy ever , but so worth it honey. Your heartbreak is so familiar to many. You are not alone.
shelley mccain I love that. God’s no is for a greater yes.
shelley mccain thank you for sharing this. I would love to talk to you more if you are open to it. I had everything but my ovaries removed in 2014 (23 years old) and I just had my ovaries removed because of further complications of severe endometriosis in May 2018. My soulmate and I are engaged, and he is so positive. But I feel robbed, I feel like I robbed him. I know we will be amazing parents and I want to foster. But it still hurts
shelley mccain Beautiful story! God bless you! ❤ I want to foster children too. There are children out here who need love.
After having my older brother, my mom then had 8 miscarriages and one baby die accidentally due to a power outage at the hospital. The electricity in the hospital went out (she gave birth in a third world country 22 years ago, so the technology wasn’t the best) and he was wearing an oxygen mask and eventually the machine ran out of oxygen and he passed. I was finally born two years later on Mother’s Day, after my parents finally decided to try one last time, and my mother had my little brother after me. There’s always hope 💛
wow thats amazing your mom is a strong women, I could never imagine even going through something like that.=0
Watching this again after Ocean is two months old. Still crying along with you watching this video the second time around. This time it’s out of joy that God has blessed you with your hearts deepest desire.
You both are already the best parents. Ocean, your mommy and daddy endured so much heartbreak and you are the light at the end of the tunnel.
Don’t lose faith. Look Khloe’s case. She tried for many years and finally, she has her beautiful baby! Everything will be alright te amamos!!
I cried while watching this because I know EXACTLY how you feel. I suffered a miscarriage 5 years ago. It was heartbreaking. After that, I struggled for YEARS wondering why I hadn't gotten pregnant again. It got to the point where I truly gave up. Welp, I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant and my anxiety is at an all time high because I'm afraid that something will go wrong again. 😢 I'm praying for you girl. I really, really am. Your rainbow baby WILL come!
Lipstick Addict all the very best to you sweets! hope everything goes smoothly for u!💖
All the very best to you. Know that you are not alone either. May god bless you and keep you healthy. -fellow chick 🐤
Lipstick Addict I'm sorry for your loss. 💖💖So happy to hear your carrying your Rainbow baby. Sending Love n strength xx
Yyaaayy! Congrats!
praying for you and your beautiful child ❤
Oh love. Your pain is so evident. I wish it wasn't so for you. I am a foster/adoptive parent and I see ppl all the time so easily able to have children who should not have children. Then there is so many lovely people who would be amazing parents having so many struggles with infertility and loss. My husband and I lost our first baby at 9 weeks. I was devastated for a really long time. I have since had 2 rainbow babies. I think it was the only thing that healed my soul. I will be praying for you Desi. Don't give up, families are built in many different beautiful ways.
My mom had 9 miscarriages before she had me...and I'm her oldest of 4! I completely understand the fear. I take after my mom physically in a lot of ways, and have always feared that I take after her in that aspect as well. That fear was realized even more when I had an early miscarriage a couple of months ago. I truly admire you for speaking up about this topic, and for doing your part to normalize a conversation about something that so many women struggle with.
Desi, I normally don’t comment but I see you. We have had 3 losses. 12 weeks, 14.4 weeks, and 22.3 weeks due to incompetent cervix. My son was born alive at 22.3 weeks but passed after birth. That was over 6 years ago... A year after his loss we were asked to adopt a baby boy from birth and he is the best thing that has ever happened to us❤️. We went through a year of fertility treatments and did it all besides IVF. In 2016 we became foster parents and adopted a baby girl in November of 2017. We are about to adopt our 5 year old foster daughter too. My family didn’t come from me but they are the best little people and my love for them is incredible! I know adoption isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. I’m trying to say my thoughts and prayers are with you guys❤️.
Mom we love you! We’re here with you, you’ll be the best mom to your little chicks 🐥 the day it happens you will have support from all of us.. we’ll be with you every step of the way. Stay positive, because we’re going to be here to for you 💖
Lindsey Porter aww so happy you have your family.
This entire video was emotional for me because I’m in this with you desi. But the part where you said I know my mom wants grandchildren I bawled because my mom passed away almost 3 years ago and knowing in my heart deep down how I never made her grandmother it kills me inside. I have been trying for the last 12 years basically my entire marriage, it’s so hard living this life. My husband and I decided that we will be adopting if it doesn’t happen for us in the next 5 years. Thank u for this video desi you’re so strong girl for sharing this with the world and for everything you have been through. Love you girl! 💖
Reina she will be watching when you do have kids and she will be a grandma ☺️ stay strong
Reina oh girl I feel so sorry that your mother didn’t experience being a grandmother in this world but I promise you she will be so proud in heaven once it happens. I wish you the best of luck you and all the women who struggle with this will be in my prayers. I keep my fingers crossed and never lose hope it will happen gorgeous! 🤗😘
My love she will be a grandmother and you will make her one and they’ll be very protected by her.
Have you ever considered anything herbal such as organic black seed oil?
You are not alone, sweet Reina. Much love to you, stranger on the internet ❤️
Thinking of you!
Desi listen! My parents were trying to get pregnant for 10 years!! They were going to doctors, but they never found anything wrong with either of them. My mom was depressed, crying all the time. But eventually (afer 10 years!) she did get pregnant with me. So please pleasee don`t lose hope
My parents tried for 10 years too! but God told her he would give her a child so she had faith and lived her life travelling and doing what she loved and sure enough my sister was born
Gosh girl this hit me hard , I literally cried my eyes out !! The amount of times people have asked me to do pregnancy tests or told me to hurry up and have a child has been crazy. Whether or not I can have children is what I dont know yet, I am going to get myself checked out but people dont understand how emotional this subject can be. I hope to God one day I will be blessed with a child because the same as you it's what I've always wanted !! I really do hope you get the family you've been trying for hun. I send you all my love !! X
I had a friend who’s parents had five miscarriages before having her. She was their miracle baby. Don’t give up hope. One way or another you will have your family.
How is it 2018 and people still ask women “when are you having a baby?!” like that is SUCH a personal thing and you never know what people are going through! So sorry for the pain you’ve felt, Desi. You’re so strong for sharing your life with so many people! ❤️
Maddie Nelson, she is A latina! and just like in the Caribean having children is VERY IMPORTANT! if you can't some people will look at you like you a failure as a woman! I am from the Caribean, I am 35, I've been living in Europe for the past 15 years, when I go to the Island to visit family, people always asks me if I have kids, when I answer no, they look at me like I am an alien that came from a different planet! it's very rare to see someone from either the Latin community or Carribean community without a baby at age 16! in our community that's normal standard! okay, she gets the lecture of course but at the end of the day most of the time the whole family ends up helping her with the child! that Desi and her husband don't have a kid yet show you how different she was raised! was she raised in Mexico I bet you all my coins that she would've been pregnant at age 14,15!
CariBeLatina-Doll totally get that, I’ll never understand how hard it is to be asked all the time when I’m having kids - it just sucks that she’s tried so hard and wants it so badly and I’m sure being asked all the time is so depressing 😭
Thank you for writing this. Cuz I honestly believe it’s so insanely insulting for woman to constantly ask her that. I don’t care how young they are
I think some people who wont see this video or accidentally miss it will still comment but the ones who watch and support you will be generous enough to respect your wishes on not speaking about it! I hope you you one day find answers to this journey and as you said everything happens for a reason. I believe that strongly as well! I'll always love and support you and Steven, Desi. Im sending so much love and prayers towards you for healing! Trust the journey and path the world and God has for you❤️ Stay strong beautiful
Karlie Reneé l
“So do not fear, for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” - Isaiah 41:10 .I pray that God brings you peace and restores your soul. He brings healing in the middle of the hurt & he has a plan for us all.God does miracles! & May one day, he bless you with a family of your own. I am keeping you in my prayers Desi, much love !!💗💗💗
You have no idea how many people you are helping by sharing your story. Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable, I know personally how difficult and painful it is to be so raw and exposed. Keep your head up honey, feel your feelings and continue being the person that you are. Have faith that in time, everything will work out just exactly as it is supposed to. Praying for you love! xx
I never had a miscarriage but my 2 month old son died from SIDS in 2007. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. And it messed me up for a long time. It’s not something you ever get over completely. I finally had my rainbow baby in 2013 and he is wonderful. It has definitely made me more of a worried and nervous mom. It took me well over a year of trying to get pregnant with him and I really started to feel hopeless. And every time I would take a pregnancy test I would die inside. Also, my sister in law was told she would never have kids.. her son is now almost 2years old. Never give up hope
I’m so humbled by ur response. Tysm for sharing that part of u life. It helped me.
This was beautiful and inspiring❤
I’m so sorry for your loss but also so happy for your happiness!
You didn’t have to make this video but the amount of courage that you have to even open your heart and speak about this for the world to see is amazing! Wow! God bless you and your family ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hey Desi; the future here. Today your baby was born. You did it. Congratulations!
I know exactly how you feel. I struggled with it for 7 years. My first fiancé even left me for another girl because we couldn’t get pregnant. When I met my husband I told him that I had a problem conceiving. He was very understanding about it and reassured me that it doesn’t change anything but I know deep down he wanted to have kids. It frustrated me so much that I started convincing myself that I don’t need to have a baby because I love how my life is right now. I just completely gave up. But last January my husband had a hunch that I was maybe pregnant and bought me a pregnancy test. I was pissed that he kept bugging me to take the test because I was so sure that it was gonna be another negative and I was gonna end up crying again. But I gave in after two days and took the test and I’m so glad I did. I’m now 30 weeks pregnant and up to now I still don’t how we did it. It’s cliche but it will really happen when you least expect it. And yes sometimes it’s ok to lose hope because it gets really tiring mentally and emotionally but never lose faith. Believe that it will happen. You have my prayers girl!❤️
Sandy V congrats!!
Congrats what a blessing...
Sandy V this just made me sooo happy bless you both! ❤️
Congrats!!!!
Congratulations Sandy!! That is amazing!! ❤️
I lost a pregnancy in December and today was my due date I can’t even describe how much this helped me
This video is going to help countless women all over the world who are going through the same thing - women who are feeling alone, embarrassed, worried, doubtful, hopeful, scared, sad, and just wracked with all sorts of uncertainty. God Bless you Desi - you've got an army of us pulling and praying for you and Stephen. You guys ARE going to be AMAZING parents.
I'm an ultrasound tech & this really touches me.. A lot of mamas come in with miscarriages and I always try to be the most support person that I can for them. It's such a vulnerable time for the moms. I always try them to help with cleaning up after the exams & bring them warm blankets, water, whatever helps ease them a little. It's a difficult subject but it happens more than people talk about. This is such a needed video Desi
Angel Phan it’s a beautiful thing that you’re doing for these women. I have to say, the support I got from my doctor, the nurses, the doctor and his assistants when I did the HSG, all the people aware of my loss really made me feel safe and supported. It’s important. ❤️
Desi, this is the reason I found your channel as well as Chriselle Lim’s. I lost my daughter at 34 weeks pregnant and then another at 7 weeks two years later. I found your channel while I was mourning her loss and I’ve watched you live life always with a smile after that video knowing it was possible to find joy for myself too. Ever since then, your zest for life was a vehicle for me in part of finding my own. My best friend and I were pregnant and had the same due date...it was hard to see her baby for awhile. I know this heartache and want you to know, no words from anyone will make sense to you but all of your followers love you and are with you. ❤️
❤❤❤
I’m not pregnant or trying to get pregnant but this video made me cry every time you cried 😥
Thanks for making this video...my husband and I struggled to get pregnant for a year...we finally saw a specialist and discovered that I have PCOS and don’t ovulate, and he suffers from low sperm count...after three failed IUI attempts we got pregnant through IVF and had our daughter, and then 4.5 years later did a second round of IVF and had our son. Keep your faith and your eye on the prize
To Desi & to all the women struggling i just want to say that I’m praying for you. You will be an amazing mom & you, Steven & the doggos will be so lucky to have a new little angel to join your lives. My mom had 6 miscarriages before having me, i was her lucky number 7 born this month of July. I could never even imagine or wish that pain on anyone. Your time will come, i swear ❤️
Liz Pena same! My mom had 10 miscarriages and then my brother came & then me July 31st! ❤️
Ann Latham omg, 😱😱😱😱 i can’t even wrap my head around what going through that once let alone 10 times must feel like. happy almost birthday to your brother 🤗
Happy Birthday to you 🙌🏻
Liz Pena thank you so much for sharing your moms story. That gives so many woman hope💕
Watching this again, after Baby Ocean...just gives me hope for life in general. Joy really does come in the morning. Good on you and Steven Desi, for not giving up. And thank you for sharing such an intimate and private part of your life.
I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know if there is anything I could say to make you feel better. I don’t even want to pretend that I could ever imagine how you feel. But I love that you were brave enough to share your story in hopes to help someone else. I feel for you and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all this. Just know now I think you’re even stronger than I thought you were before 💕
Bailey Elaine Ebey The Desi Perkins fan base should be called Perkinators.
I know you don't know me personally, but I pray that God gives you strength and healing, and he takes the stress off your shoulders. Desi, you WILL be blessed with a baby.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Your kindness and love has not gone unnoticed and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
This is why I always say it is so insensitive to ask women "when are you having a baby ?!". You just never know the exact reason that person doesn't have children yet. Whether it is that they do not want any children or are having a difficult time conceiving. It's such a sensitive subject . I wish nothing but the very best for you Desi. You are in my prayers! Sending you a HUGE hug. XO
The Dunstons I completely agree.... I get asked this question all the time approaching my 30’s, but truth is I simply do not want children. I feel judged by people all the time trying to answer that question. As women we all struggle with these types of things whether you want children or not. Women are going thru their own personal journeys and paths and should not be pressured about having children. It’s so personal. I truly hope society stops acting like it is a normal thing to ask such invasive questions.
I’m rewatching this video now knowing that Desi is pregnant!! I’m so happy for you Desi your patience and dedication has been rewarded and I know you and Steven will be the best parents ever! I’ve been following your journey for so long and I can’t wait to see your life become even better with this blessing your way! Much love ❤️❤️❤️ and CONGRATS!!!
God please bless her with a child. Amen
SKY BELLE amen!
Amen! Keeping her in my prayers.
Amen
Yes Jesus can do all kinds of miracles!
Amen!
In gods name you will get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy ! Leave it in his hands ❤️ god bless hun ! Not being able to get pregnant doesn’t make you any less of the amazing woman you are ! Xoxo
I’m currently watching this video and just really hope you see this comment. My mom had 4 miscarriages. One was almost full term and had to be removed. My brother and I are both adopted. Both of our adoptions were totally different. I couldn’t imagine my life without my family. I feel so much more connected to you now. I love you. You’re an inspiration. Everything happens for a reason and its all in God’s plan. God’s got you and Stephen through this journey.
Madeleine Templet you're beautiful 💖💖💖
ShaRae Burr oh my gosh thank you!
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Omg bawling. Took me 9 yrs to get pregnant with my boy who's now my best friend. He's almost 7 months old now. It can take a looooong time but pls don't be discouraged ❤️ ILY. You deserve to have a magic baby too
I. AM. SOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS. My heart breaks for you and Steven. My parents also struggled for years and years with pregnancy and miscarriages and infertility. Then they adopted me! You're gonna be a mom, Desi. It's in your heart and you will find a way, whether that's by blood or bond, and you and Steven are going to be incredible parents because you understand what it means to have the privilege of parenthood taken away from you. Sending you so much love, dear. Give Steven a big squeeze, too. ❤️
Fellow adoptee. :) motherhood is not defined by pregnancy but the love you can give a child. Adoption, pregnancy, surrogacy, fostering, etc are all equally fulfilling and doesn't make a woman any less that another.
Desi, I know we have only met a handful of times, but I want to let you know that I am here for you, and I am praying so hard for you and Steven. I can see the amazing love you have for your children just in your sentiments alone, and they will be incredibly blessed to have someone like you and Steven as their north star in life. I truly mean that. I know it's so tough when things are so uncertain and you feel like you can't handle another blow, but please keep up the hope you have. It really radiates out of you, that and raw strength. Never lose that hope
We all need to stop commenting about children & letting what happens happen please ❤️
this side of Desi completely breaks my heart & warms it at the same time because it makes me happy that she feels comfortable enough with us to open up this way. I pray that God blesses you & Steven with a family one day Des. We're a family & we love & pray for you guys. Hugs. Xx
Fucking THANK YOU. It’s honestly so gross
I watched this video when it came out and I just watched it again because I had a miscarriage in March. It’s always helpful to watch others talk about their struggles and to know you aren’t alone in this. I’m 35 going on 36 and I have a 3 year old and it doesn’t matter if you have a child already or you don’t it doesn’t make going through a loss any damn easier. I pray y’all get your baby through IVF and you get to experience being a momma. So sorry for your loss!
Im 41 and only ever wanted to be a mum.Unfortunatley I got cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. I now have no babies but my sister has donated her eggs and my other sister is our surrogate. We are now 16 weeks pregnant and due Christmas Day. No I won't be the biological mother, but I will be her mum. (We are having a GIRL).
Karen Walker Awww! That is truly AMAZING!!! Congratulations!!💖
Bless you!!! Thats amazing!
Congrats ❤️
❤️
Thank you ladies. I’ll forever grieve not having my own biological children, but I’ll love this baby unconditionally.
I didn't comment after watching this video but after thinking about it I decided to write this comment. My daughter was told she could not have children after a miscarriage in her 20's and had given up trying. January 2017 she discovered she was pregnant at the age of 40. Blake was born August 23, 2017, 7pounds 11ounces. He is my only grandchild and is a Miracle. Don't give up hope you will have a baby when the time is right. Love you Desi💖💖💖
Carryl Edwards im sorry this is totally off the topic here but you do NOT look like you have a 40 year old kid! 😄 also congratulations to your daughter and you! Enjoy!
😙😁
Omg,that is so amazing and beautiful!!
mjsoila thank you
This was so incredibly brave of you to share, you’re so amazing. It took my mum 7 years to have children, then she had 3. You are both going to be amazing parents. 💗
Same here we tried for 6 years and have a newborn 4 failed pregnancies
Holly Boon it took mine exactly 7 to have her first (me) also. My 2 siblings were then quite quick about a year and a half apart.
Don’t ever lose hope no matter how hard life tries to challenge you.
Holly Boon yes!! My neighbor tried for 7 years and she's pregnant now. Take tests. She said her uterus was shaped different impacting her ability to get pregnant
I love you!!
I just discovered this video today after my sister successfully carried her second child with a 20 year difference from her first child. She also struggled with these things. First I have to say Thank you for the tips you are sharing on your site and your courage to talk about this to your subscribers. I am also so glad to see so many supporters who are sharing their stories. it’s true that we are all waiting for something to happen that according to our womanhood was supposed to happen and we wonder if something is wrong but we were all meant to be and what was meant for us will be. I will pray for you and encourage you to keep shining and find contentment in the present day and that you keep nurturing constant optimism for the future. Everything is going to be alright. I have only watched two videos for yours looking for tips on page production but I can already tell that you and your husband are true gift to the world. There is more in store! Believe in the gift of you!!! (That you BOTH are!)
Yall she got pregnant. Baby due October 2020!!!!
STOP ASKING WOMEN IF THEY’RE PREGNANT!! God it’s so *RUDE*! And don’t ask people when they’re having kids either. Ever since my husband and I got married people have asked us on a regular basis. And then I have to tell them “never” because we can’t have kids. Then they proceed to tell me all the ways we could have kids (IVF, surrogacy, adoption), to which I tell them we don’t want kids. And then they feel the need to tell me why I’m wrong, and that I will change my mind, and then I have to remind them again that I CAN’T. Ugh! It’s such a personal thing and it’s not something I should have to talk about all the time, and with people I barley know!!
Taylor Butler same here, I just tell them someday, we are having such a great enjoying our time together we want to wait. And then they said O.. that’s good. They haven’t ask me again.
I hate those questions and statements so much. I have infertility issues, and it’s always a constant reminder that my body failed me. Not only that, it is a very personal aspect of someone’s life, and they don’t need to discuss it with anyone other than who they choose to.
I relate totally... I am not comfortable talking about it and there doesn’t seem to be sensitivity especially when people just assume it’s a topic open for discussion.
Thank you Taylor for posting. I totally agree with you. I couldn't have children and I was always so taken aback by people's assumptions and opinions on the matter.
This is why I NEVER ask women when they are going to have kids. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors.
seriously my in laws are always giving me the look as to when in gonna have a baby. they all have kids.
Thank you ! Can you please tell my coworkers this! For real I’m 32 no kids and have had 3 miscarriages. One coworker told me she thinks it is selfish to wait and she wanted to have her children before she was 25. I am not waiting... we are trying... but for her to say that hurt me so bad because I just had one 3 weeks prior. (No one knows) but I never ask people if they are married or have kids.... I feel they can tell me when they are ready.
The best remedies to competition is to lose..in that way...they forget you and busy focusing on others. I always say it's God who decides your baby making in this WORLD. you might not be a mother at the moment but you might be the best at another title that you have. those who have kids GOD BLESS!! but at the same time kids growing up in this WORLD is not easy. so don't let the topic be a TALK....let it be a whisper. people react to noise and GOD reacts to quietness. if that makes sense. Good luck! as I need it too. Lol.
Mari Curls Oh boy. I would have lit her ass up. On God. I hate to hear people tell women what to do with their uterus. You don't hear people pressuring men about having kids and being selfish if they don't want or have kids. Like mind your fucking business. You don't know what the fuck women go through. I wish we were friends so that I could make her feel bad about what she said. Much love. When the time comes, it is going to happen.
saranjit S You don't need to have kids I'd you don't have to. Don't give into pressure if that is not what you desire.
For many years I tried to have a baby and it didn’t work. I would cry and ask god why me ? All I wanted to be was a mother . I started getting angry and bitter and when people would ask me when are you having kids I would rather say I don’t want any. To not have to answer that I had tried for years . And what made it worse I had only one Fallopian tube and two ovaries . After surgery my doctor said it would be a 50/50 chance . My heart broke for my husband and I. Until 5 months ago . I started to feel so
Tired and sleepy . My husband would ask if I was depressed or sad . He never asked if I was pregnant because it just hadn’t happened in 5 years . This went on for a month until I went to the doctor with the flue. And to my surprise I was pregnant . I am
Now 5 months pregnant with a beautiful baby girl . God works in mysterious ways . And he gave me the best thing . To be able to create a life ! Keep fighting !
Neve your lips look uneven ass hell Brown This is an amazing story! Congratulations on your baby girl! 💖
Lacey Searle thank you ♥️♥️♥️
Watching this again after having my first pregnancy/miscarriage. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it’s been incredibly difficult to try to get back to normal. My husband and I are very hopeful for our future family and have grown stronger than ever. I’m so happy for you and your beautiful family!
Seeing the throwback clip of Steven finding out made me so sad 😭😭😭😭
adoption is one of the greatest gifts ♥️ it takes a long time but it’s so worth it
I hardly ever comment but I’ve been following you for a long time and am a huge fan of everything you do and everything you are. This video brought that to the next level. Your authenticity and openness is truly admirable. You are so brave. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself to the world and, in turn, possibly helping so many men and women struggling with the same problem.
Everything will happen for you in time and I think you’re right. Everything happens for a reason.
I love you, Desi. I know you have thousands of other comments saying similar things but I truly feel a connection to you. Thank you for your rawness.
Sonia Tashjian ওওও
ওওও
I wanted to comment, but couldn't have put it any better than this! Love you Desi
Katerina Barker thanks girl! I was so psyched she got to see it.💘
You touched more people in this video than you could ever know. Prayers to you and everyone who has gone through something like this. The pain is deep and you have found a way to use it positively.
This made me cry. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. 1 year later i had my beautiful daughter Olivia. When she was nearlly 7 months she died from cot death. Honestly, I felt God had shot a bullet at me. I felt life was not worth living. Why should I live this life when my children are cruelly taken from me. It was very dark. Now I have 2 beautiful girls asleep next to me. I am telling you this and other people that when life is shit and trust me life can be so cruel and un fair. Life really is not biased on who or what you are. You can survive and you can get out of that grey cloud. I survived and I am so glad I did. Please do not give up desi.
Thank you for telling you story! I can not imagine what you must have been going through. Only the best wishes for you and your family
Im so sorry for your loss ❤️
Taegan E God bless you and your beautiful family
Taegan so motivatr
Taegan E ❤️
I just love how Harper is by your side. 😭❤️
after 3 yrs of failures, i'm finally pregnant via IVF and we had unexplained infertility (started trying when i was 28 years old). anyways, i'm so proud of you for sharing your story. so many of us need to talk about it more bc it WILL make you feel better once you let others in. praying for you
Steffanie Entralgo congratulations!! ❤️
thank you so much. the struggle is so lonely and real but sharing it helps immensely for SO MANY women! i can't wait til desi finally gets her wish. it WILL happen no matter the way
And 2 years later Ocean is here ❤️
Sending you a trillion hugs!!! Idk what to say I just wish I could hug you and cry with you!! You’re an incredibly strong woman desi!
Being pregnant right now and following you on social media for years now, this video made me cry all afternoon. Never taking things for granted ever in my life again. If someone deserves to have the biggest family ever, its you and Steven. And Im sure things will sort themselves out. Sending love your way ❤
Ivana Blažoti Mijoč wishing you a joyful and happy healthy pregnancy. 🌸
Same here, Im 14 weeks pregnant and It broke my heart to watch one of the influencer I admired the most filming a video like this. 😢
Ivana Blažoti Mijoč u r strong :-)
This is an eye opener because sometimes we think that your life is perfect and then we know is not. We all have our struggles. Sending so much love your way. ❤️ you will get there. Love you Desi !
It's crazy to see this video now and to know where you are at now. CONGRATS ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY! God is good!
I know how u feel desi.. believe me one day it will happen.. NEVER GIVE UP we tried to get pregnant 4 years.. i was about to give up too.. and now we have a beautiful boy!
SaskiasBeautyBlog thank you for posting this! I'm in that same spot now. Hugs
SaskiasBeautyBlog ich wollte dich doch glatt unter dem Video markieren.... und dann habe ich deinen Kommentar gesehen.
I’ve been trying for 11 yrs now and still haven’t got pregnant 🤰 😔 focusing in myself and my family right now!
SaskiasBeautyBlog I directly thought of you when I watched it. She is so right with telling the question shouldn’t be asked that often on social media an such a rude way. You are so strong women, I hope your wishes come true soon ❤️
I k ow how you feel my mom had one
I’m in tears i wish i could hug you!! God is preparing you for your baby! You have this amazing career, beautiful home, supportive family...that baby is on their way!! Believe in his timing! You are deserving you are worthy you are favored you are loved! *hugs*
sccastaneda I felt the same exact way. I know God has something great prepared for you and Steven Desi! His time is not our time. Stay strong love.
Steve Holmgren you dont know what your saying.
Zully Y. Gutierrez Don’t waste your time arguing with people hun. God is more Real than anyone can possibly imagine. They will see on the day of Judgment.
I always knew this was your truth. This is why I've never commented on you being pregnant. I don't know you personally but it always rubbed me the wrong way when I read pregnancy comments under your videos or pictures. It even bothered me when people I know would comment on you being pregnant. God has been perfecting your baby, a baby that will be perfect for your family and life. Your perfect bundle of joy is on the way. We love you so much
That's so beautifully said, Amanda. I love that! It hurts my heart that people still make comments, I appreciate most of the time it comes with love and wanting for Desi, but being there myself right now, in the exact same situation after my miscarriage 9 years ago, I 100% get why it's a trigger point. We had to sit my husband's mother down and basically tell her to stop asking as, unfortunately, we won't be able to conceive naturally after my husband's tests didn't come back great. My dad and step mum have been amazing. I love the thought that my future baby is being perfected right now. Thank you for that and bless you xx
nic whit87 I’m so happy my comment could motivate you into feeling and seeing things in a different light. My mother’s pregnancy with me was hard. We both almost didn’t make it. But we beat the odds and here we are. Because of that, I am who I am today. You might not have a baby now but it’s ok to love your baby even when he/she is not in you yet. For sure and without a doubt, he/she does exist!
Thank you so much, Amanda, it's definitely given me a lot of peace to think of my future Bambina/Bambino and how much they will be loved by me and my husband. I've no doubt your mummy is super proud of you and the kind person you have become. xx
And now she is Blessed with 2 Angels. I feel so happy for you🧡