It's scary how many people there are out there thinking only medical professionals can decide if someone has a different way of experiencing things and struggle in the society. The way we are thinking and processing. They are not using your brain so how can they even know what is happening? This is why the Autistic community is so important!
Remember that these types of comments say far more about the people who leave them, than they will ever say about you. You can have compassion for their obvious issues, but you don't need to waste any spoons digging through their crap either.
You're right. That's why I saved them up for a video. Most of the plain offensive ones just get deleted anyway (I don't want anyone else feeling upset by them). -Mike 🧡
@@Autistic_AF It's a really great way to turn a negative into a positive, to make positive content that calls out the silliness of these takes, so we can all laugh and heal together.
Interestingly enough, their comments are probably more accurate based on evidence because the YT or whoever has made many videos showing their behavior, and the person is leaving a rude comment based on those. we are judging the person on one rude comment. So probably in court the rude comments would win, lol
"If you can mask, you don't need an autism diagnosis". If I'm masking, it means I'm covering something. What am I covering? What the commenter is really saying is, "If you can keep your autism from making me feel uncomfortable, then it doesn't exist". Actually, it's more like, "If your acceptance of humanity's diversity makes me uncomfortable, then autism doesn't exist" And I love pineapple on pizza. Maybe that should be in the next DSM criteria
Worst part of my diagnosis is the invalidation I routinely receive when I disclose it. It's absolutely absurd. Imagine being gay and closeted. Hiding your entire life, and not realizing it. Struggling to be heterosexual to survive. Knowing that you are different, but not understanding how or why. Being shamed and bullied when you exhibit anything deemed by family, freinds, and peers as "gay". Feeling alone, confused, and deeply ashamed of yourself as a result. Then realizing that there are other people who share the same traits as you. But instead of sexuality, they are less obvious, arguably less common neurological traits. Traits that are much more pervasive than sexuality. You slowly realize that you've always had these traits, and seek evaluation for autism. And it's confirmed by an actual autism diagnosis expert. ...and when you tell most people, they don't believe you: "You don't seem autistic to me..." Imagine telling someone you've been diagnosed with cancer, or bi-polar disorder, or erectile dysfunction, and getting a similar response. Rest assured: You're either dealing with an asshole, someone who's profoundly ignorant, insensitive, or an utter idiot.
How to say you completely understand - without saying it. Thank you, William. Unfortunately, those assholes; the profoundly intentionally ignorant are everywhere. Even worse; they sometimes only tend to reveal their biases once a ND person attempts a disclosure. An emotionally fraud moment for all.
😔I don't need to imagine. The combo of both really sucks Usually it's coming from the same bigots but the worst is when it comes from someone you didn't expect it from
@TheWilliamHoganExperience I hear your point of view and pain and I agree completely it's invalidating. However I confess that I have known people to use that expression "u don't seem autistic" without bad intentions, it's simply a case they only have a perceived stereotype of what Autism may be due to how it's portrayed in the media, such as Rain Man or Big Bang Theory etc. It stems from a lack of knowledge of dealing with higher support need individuals. Some say it maliciously, for others it's just a case of them understanding the concept of a spectrum. Even myself, as a diagonsed person, sometimes struggles with it as I meet adults with it and sometimes think I may ve too able or social to have it etc etc
in the 1990's, i didnt talk, stared at things weirdly, and failed to participate in society. after 30 years of invalidation and shame i am just barely entering the space of people who feel like they are autistic because i've been spending my whole life assuming i didnt deserve to be alive.
It's really funny. I can imagine myself dressed in a red beret, sitting in a dark corner of a pub, awaiting the signal to meet my contact at the ... Sorry, I was getting carried away there!
@Autistic_AF *Me sitting in the opposite corner of the pub, face covered by the hood of my long cloak, red beret secretly underneath, barely visible. Making ominous sign at you. Meaning:* "I AM your contact. THIS is your sign to strengthen the alliance between all neurodivergent people and begin the uprising of neurodivergence to make the world a better, more happy, more neurodivergent-friendly place."
Happy to call us weirdos or nerds or geeks or mad-cat-lady or train-spotter or standoffish or cold-fish or unfriendly or snobby or grammar n**i or all the other terms for people who are different, because the difference is noticeable no matter how hard we may mask, but if we dare to say, 'actually, I'm like that because I'm autistic' then all of a sudden it's 'no you aren't, you just want attention'.
I am grateful to have found you and this community. I spent my whole life feeling like an alien. I don't feel so alone now that I know others have gone through the same thing as me. I am 40, self diagnosed. I did not know much about Autism until I had my son, who is also Autistic. When I began to learn more about Autism, I started connecting dots. I don't see much of a point in getting a medical diagnosis because I am low support needs, and don't have the financial means to get formally diagnosed. I have began to accept who I am though, and I don't try to mask or hide my differences as much as I used to.
@@Autistic_AF Unfortunately, I had a traumatic childhood and ended up in therapy at an early age. I have been diagnosed with so many things that are often hand in hand with Autism but never Autism itself. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, major depressive disorder and PTSD. No matter how many meds or how much therapy I went to nothing helped (except sleep meds and anxiety meds). Depression meds, and antipsychotics made me worse. I always wondered what was wrong with me that I could not function like a "normal" human being. Now, I know and I am able to give myself more grace. I also have found ways to cope and natural ways to help me sleep at night. I do feel bad that so many of us got misdiagnosed, labeled bad, weird, loser, nerd, quirky, etc. All those things I heard growing up just for being different.
I really like the term "self-identified" - I do find "self-diagnosed" to be a bit misleading, as 1. You can't diagnose yourself with anything by definition, and 2. As you mentioned, self-identification often has to come first, before diagnosis
I think we should get away from the word "diagnosis" entirely. It is already clear that autism isn't an illness. I mean, there isn't a "homosexuality diagnosis" and no one would think it would make sense to have one.
Handled with tact and respect. I don’t usually leave comments but I want to do my bit to remind you that the work you put into this channel is very much appreciated Mike. Your videos have both sign-posted me to and been themselves fascinating resources for helping me navigate my life as a self identified person and I am sure have helped many many others feel validated in their struggles and strengths. Thank you!
“English is a *translation layer* between thought and voice.” I usually try to include that when explaining masking to someone who truly wants to understand. I explain that my thoughts and feelings are hard to translate into words, and while I’ve learned many words (yay hyperlexic :P), figuring out exactly which one fits is also difficult. Feelings churn, they rumble, they evolve, they change. It’s ever-changing, along with acknowledging the current feelings of the day vs feelings of the week or month, ones that slowly evolve. It’s hard to explain my own state, and that inandof itself is personally fascinating.
This is literally me!! I have a really hard time in regular conversations because it takes me so long to translate a response I have into actual words that make sense, and miscommunication usually happens when I try to rush myself into answering. I have to re-explain what I meant a couple times, or just let it be and hope everyone forgets what I said. It also sometimes feels like I don't have opinions about anything until after the event, because it takes me so long to put anything into words, and by the time I do, it would be weird to bring it back up. I recently noticed that most of what I say out loud is just observing my environment, like, "pretty clouds!" or "I love cooking" while I'm cooking or cooing over a pet...I don't know, it's hard for people to get to know me because so much of my inner world is just impossible to get out, and I'm also very bad at talking about nothing (small talk). The more time I spend in the online autistic community, the more I connect with! 😂 I love it!
I am a diagnosed Autistic person. Genuinely, I hate it. It prevents me from doing so much, including proper interactions. But, it’s who I am. I wish you the best. Don’t let the hate get to you, we’re all special. Even when it seems like a hinderance.
@@mayonnaiseonanescalator7237 Same. There’s technically a “cure” if you mean a horrible lobotomy or being unalived. There’s no cure and never will be. Because it’s not a disease, it’s the brain itself being different. It’s impossible.
12:58 When someone has chronic pain, there is also no medical test to establish that they need prescription painkillers. And most people know how to diagnose a cold, without needing a medical test. (Even doctors rarely check if one of the viruses that causes a cold is in your lungs or your blood.) Arguably, the criteria that a psychiatrist uses to diagnose autism could be called a battery of tests. They do not check your blood or listen to your lungs or look into your ear canal. But they very closely look at your behaviours and your difficulties, and how persistent they are, and in what situations they occur. Which are the adequate “tests” to conduct for recognizing a neurodevelopmental condition that is defined by specific behaviours and difficulties.
I love how you are putting things in a new, absurd and/or funny perspective. It helps people who have to deal with invalidation and NTs (hopefully) to to a better understanding. It's very recent (one week ago), that I started self identifying as autistic. Before that, I reached out to a social worker to help me with certain things, that I am struggling with. One of those things was to help me get an appointment for a formal diagnose, which she was keep pushing back. Her first reaction, when I told her, that I no longer think that I MAY be on the spectrum, but then KNEW I am autistic was to invalidate it. The second reaction was to urge me into getting a formal diagnose, to show me that I'm not autistic. I was baffled and told her, that's something I asked for, for quite some time and that I want that for myself, to take away the power of being invalidated. Since then I am wondering, why some NTs are so defensive towards (self diagnosed) autism. It's not like it's hurting them or have other more or less severe affects on them. But without the self identification it was keeping me to design my life according to my individual needs. Things like creating my own save spaces. One of those is having a designated room I can go to, when sensory overload is kicking in. The others are friends (one NT, one autistic), I can openly talk to and where I can drop the masking. It's been such a relief to allow myself doing and having that. The most beautiful thing since then was, when I opened up to my NT friend, whom I only known for maybe two months, and he said, that's the first time he has seen me being full of life and being happy for me. So in which way is this a threat to someone, who isn't affected by autism?
Well I'm about 3 years into self discovery of my AuDHD traits and i dare say I will be officially diagnosed at somepoint in the furture but for now my kids are my priority. To all the haters out there they may as well save their breath. The way you turned the negatives into a positive, very well done Mike. You always have a way of wording things that makes soo much more sense than the haters could ever do. I feel proud to be part of this little corner of TH-cam, validation and understanding can be very healing. Great video Mike. 😊
My guess is the formally diagnosed pre-, say, 2010, were mostly some combination of intellectually disabled and/or nonverbal, and no, weren’t taken seriously, though their parents/grandparents sometimes were, if they had money, and some of THEM were, I’m sure, undiagnosed autistics. They (the gene pool) also seem to be the ones utterly peeved at autistic adults trying to have any voice or influence in the discussion of autism. I haven’t noticed or heard of a rash of kids diagnosed 20+ years ago who are now adults bitterly resenting people their age who are more recently diagnosed, but maybe I’m just not paying enough attention… 🤔
As someone going through the process of self-diagnosis at age 36 (four months of research/interviewing relatives and counting!) and looking to pursue a formal diagnosis, I just want to thank you! Your content and validation of the self-id process has been hugely helpful when it comes to my internal struggles and feelings of appropriation. Unfortunately, my diagnosis is on pause due to recently being laid off, but in the meantime I'll have videos like these to help me process the absolute whirlwind of emotions this whole thing has been. It can be tough when you find something that answers all those little questions you've had about why you are the way you are, only to see people say you don't "count" because you didn't do it the "right" way.
@@TyWorth Thanks, Ty! I’m really glad that my content has been helpful in a small way! I’m sorry you’ve been laid off (I had that experience once too, just before Christmas!) - you’ll be able to pursue this more later formally but can prepare your thoughts in advance:)
I think that knowing one has autism is a relief. I was diagnosed at age 41. I also have ADHD and anxiety. If someone comes out as gay that's a relief for them and they are not hiding or masking as someone they're not. The ignorance and stupidity from those comments is their own. It's not your problem.
@@MrDangerJonsson Thank you, Cope. That means a lot to me. You certainly can do big things. They just take time. Do a tiny bit extra each day if you have the energy to do so. 🧡
Congrats on hitting 14k already, it feels like I just said congrats on 13k yesterday 🎉 Clearly we outnumber the trolls, so carry on with the videos...we're all ears 😁
Diagnosed at 50. I’m very grateful for your content. Being seen is such an unmet need, after all lifetime of having my experience and POV invalidated in large and small ways in ALL areas of life. Your content helps me feel seen by you even though we will never meet. Thank you.
18:18 Yes sir, it does. Unfortunatley it seems mainline pizza shops consistently use unripe stuff from a can an pair it with mediocre ham. People who haven't tried it may also be confused by the fact that cooked pineapple taste different from raw pineapple.
Y'know, that reminds me that radish also has a significantly different taste when cooked. Its harshness dies down and it becomes more apple-like in taste.
@ayo9290 I've never enjoyed pineapple on pizza, but holy shit did your comment allow me to completely re-evaluate my position. It makes a lot of sense; I've had savoury dishes with pineapple and loved them, with the big difference that the pineapple was fresh and properly cooked in them. Likewise, most of the issues I have with pineapple on pizza (texture, flavour, particular level of sweetness) are issues that I'd also have with raw canned pineapple, again, making a lot of sense. And yeah, the ham thing is also very important, a shitty industrial ham will often bring down the taste of any meal, it's no wonder none of my fave toppings are ham. I should try and make myself a good Hawaiian pizza just to see how much better I like it and then make my judgement.
"You don't need a doctor to tell you you're gay." That just conjured up a really bizarre scenario of gay/lesbian partners wanting to get married, but the officiant telling them "In order to marry you, I'll first need a doctor's note officially diagnosing both of you as being homosexual."
Okay...gonna try on the heiroglyphics caps lock comment here. FTR, I have autistic traits myself. Both my kids are diagnosed autistic. Mike is right - being self-centered is not part of the diagnostic process. Hate to say it, commenter, but it is possible to be both autistic and a self-centered jerk just as it is possible to be allistic and a self-centered jerk. Being autistic, however, doesn't mean you're doomed to be a self-centered jerk. I know that the idea of people being left-brained or right-brained was in vogue at one time and bandied about among educators, but recent brain research has dispelled that idea. Without adding links in comments, one of the fastest things you can do is check Brittanica -- they remain a good resource on well-established facts. As for lack of compassion for others...my oldest has always needed to have some watching because she will give everything she has away to people who need it if given the opportunity to do so. She reached out starting at an early age to run charity drives entirely on her own. Lack of compassion for others is not among her problems. Executive function difficulties? Absolutely. Processing difficulties that sometimes make it difficult to react in the moment? Yep. Both of those are autistic traits. But one of the main worries we have is people taking advantage of her compassionate nature. Some autistic kids and adults do exhibit dangerous behavior at times, this is true. IME with my kids, it's not the norm. And IDK...here on this video I see an autistic person who is interested in communication. Both my diagnosed autistic kids are interested in communication, but there are often barriers to them doing so effectively, including to receiving information sometimes. I found ways to get around that at home even before we had a label for what was going on. Since you say you know very little about autism, I would like to suggest that you take the time to do some reading. There are some excellent resources out there. One that was suggested for my child (not the only one) is Dr. Price's Unmasking Autism. I hope you do take the time to learn more because not only are you falling prey to a lot of stereotypes, you seem to be dealing with a lot of anger. The root seems to be your relationship with your brother and your parents, but you're carrying that into comment sections on videos I bet no one forced you to watch. I hope such reading would help give a different perspective for you to consider even if it can't fix the pain you've experienced from growing up in what sounds like a quite stressful situation.
I actually find it awesome that we have AI now that can "act human" in a conversation. Because this shows NT people how easy it is to mask and blend in, and that most of the conversations follow a fixed or similar pattern and thus can be memorized if you are of average or high IQ, which most people with level 1 ASD have. This is what I did when growing up, and still do, memorizing the patterns and expectations of certain situations and environments. Nobody would know at first glance that I am and introverted auDHD person. My intelligence ables me to function in society to a certain degree. HOWEVER... if they stray from the "normal framework" of a conversation, I run into slippery ice territory of looking at the body language and "reading between the lines", what people want from me. This is the same thing what you see with AI running into small mistakes in the conversations. They still can't do the non-verbal communication very well. The same goes for "sayings" etc. I learned most of the sayings by heart, but if someone all of a sudden comes up with a new one, or a new joke, I will maybe not get it the first time, and run into miscommunication. It is exhausting thought to keep the "library" up and running sometimes....
I just discovered your channel today and I just want to say as a fellow neurodivergent individual and counselor-in-training, I love the advocacy and support you provide for the largely misunderstood community. Keep doing what you do.
I'm going to have to come back to this video when comments get too much to cope with! 😆 You've dealt with these with such grace, patience and thoughtfulness. Who knew Autistic people could be so emotionally intelligent! 😜
I am new to content creation and I've been shocked at some of the invalidating comments. Mostly are good, but some are just mind blowing to me. I may have to make one of these videos one day lol.
Thank you for your videos. I self diagnosed recently after seeing LOTS which rang some bells and I started to investigate. I'm 59, married with a kid, have a degree and a successful tech career. How I missed this over the years is beyond me as it's patently obvious now I know what ASD is - yes, I was woefully ignorant prior to this and thought of autism only existing on the non-verbal extreme of the spectrum. Videos like yours and other ASD content creators have opened my eyes. But, I will never have a professional diagnosis - the thought of going through the hoops here (I'm a Brit living in Norway) just gives me anxiety just thinking of it. And for what? To validate it for others? At my age I don't need that, and I get along fine without support. In addition, after the dismissive reaction of my wife when I mentioned it to her, well, no thanks, I will keep it to myself I think. But I am still thankful that I now know why I am the way I am, and that is good enough for me. :) Also something I've learned over the past 6 decades; people be people doing people things and haters gonna hate no matter what. ;)
You are so good at explaining what a lot of us think but can’t put words to. I especially liked your explanation of ‘pride’. And thank you for the cute bird at the end. Doesn’t have a name?
Mike, unfortunately these hot-air merchants say what many people in our society feel. It is the attitude of the gatekeeping general practitioners who also prevent adult assessment by ascerting that we are 'too old' for a formal diagnosis to have any meaning. Fortunately for me I have a sister who is willing to fund my private assessment because we both understand that it will contribute much-needed explanation for a lifetime of difficulty which has nothing to do with my blindness. Oh, and there is the other trope that I already have a major difference. Why would I actively seek another? (Laughs uproariously).
@JanneGlass You don't double a temperature by doubling the number before the degrees symbol, no matter which of the popular types of degrees you use. To double a temperature, you have to use measure in Kelvins or similar (note "Kelvins", not "degrees Kelvin"). I feel like dates are probably the same way, where if you want to double it, you have to start your counting from the beginning of time and double that, too... It might be easier to just halve the denominator...
Awesome video Mike. I do struggle with these negative comments. I just don't understand what could possibly drive someone to leave them. I think you were so balanced with your analysis of this. Really awesome work! Loved the background. Beautiful ferns and was it ivy? And that gorgeous duck at the end with its waggly tail! It sent happy shivers all through my body 💚🌿🦆(insert Muscovy duck emoji here).
@@pardalote Hey! 🦆 is Sir Francis DRAKE (geddit?). Muscovies are so amazing. They’re smart, they make the most incredible eye contact 👀 🦆 and have reciprocal dances. Ferns and ivy yep! And probably a few little spiders :) Thank you - I appreciate your support as always! 🧡
@Autistic_AF you are making me want to get Muscovy ducks too! I love your very aristocratic duck name. Seriously cool and funny 😎 I don't think I'd mind intense eye contact with a duck 🙂 And reciprocal dances! OMG - you have to film that somewhere and post it. I need to see it 😃
@@Autistic_AF I kinda think of Monty Python as a way to kinda call the Autistics online. One time someone posted a picture of lupins on a gardening subreddit and all I did was write "obligatory Monty Python reference," and they all came out and spoke to me in quotes. It's kinda like a duck call but for older Autistics in comments sections.
Yeah both BPD and Bipolar are very common misdiagnosis for woman. I personally had to get multiple assesments. The first assessment the clinician diagnosed my LDs. She said I could have adhd. But wasn't comfortable diagnosing either thr adhd or the asd. Second time the Neuropsych confirmed the LDs, added one and confirmed my ADHD. But refused to diagnose me with autism. I was Honestly shocked? My dad is autistic. And a handful of family members are autistic/presumed autistic. When I asked the NP why she wouldnt diagnose me. She basically gave me one of those non answers fo make me go away. So I emailed her for clarification. Reminding her of the evidence I'd brought to my session with her (literally binders of printouts, all highlighted. 50 different self assessmnts. My dad bring autistic ect). And she flat out ghosted me? It wasnt an extremely long email. I wasnt harassing her. But like, I kind of figured since I was paying her. I deserved a straight answer? Buuuut no, just ghosted. I wish someine had piinted me in the direction of one of these "eager" people to diagnose lol. Because that certainly wasnt my experience. Nor a lot of other women on the spectrum I finally managed to get the diagnisis on paper... But wow is trying to get a diagnosis as a female difficult... My GP before I went to seek diagnosis said to me "even if you were autistic I wouldn't diagnose you" like wow.. Also, even as someone with a formal diagnosis on paper. I dont get any benefits? The system hete is so bad ai cant even get food stamps even though im unemployed. So the whole "self diagnosed people taking benifits away from digsnosed people" is ridiculous.
(From the USA) I'm a recent subscriber and watching your videos makes me feel better about my own situation. I love how you respond to the trollish comments too. Ever since I mentored autistic children (2009), I have put in countless hours trying to figure myself out because when I met these kids 15 years ago, I saw aspects of myself in them more and more. I sought diagnosis and didn't have access until 2013 when I was covered by the student insurance at my university where I got clinically identified as having ADHD rather than Autistic because I didn't have as many Autistic markers as ADHD, so.... Peers of mine who were diagnosed by the same practitioner later got a secondry diagnosis of Autism + ADHD from elsewhere (when more and more professionals were doing dual rather than either/or diagnosis). I have tried to obtain a second assessment and have not been able to access any resources for it. The reason is that most clinics* where I can reasonably commute will do an ADHD but not an Autism assessment. Proportionately very few do an autism assessment at all and, of those, only two accept any kind but not all types of insurnce. Neither of those accept mine. Unless I can afford to pay the total cost (I can't and am unlikely to ever be able), I will not have access to an assessment. Even then, it would be several months if not more than a year or two out. I really appreciate when formally diagnosed Autistic people and professionals acknowledge this and validate self-identified/diagnosed autistic people. However, I am often reluctant to share even thinking I might be on the spectrum because of the backlash (sometimes vitriolic) because self-diagnosis is "invalid" or whatever. I somewhat envy people with the courage to share this about themselves regardless. Anyway, thanks again for your contributions to the world. I may forever be in this liminal space, but your videos make me feel better about my own situation. *There are a dozen or so clinics with professionals who treat/work with Autistic clients but will not assess clients for Autism and it's frustrating.
It looks like some NTs feel inferior because they have nothing to complain about. 😂 When I realised I might be autistic I researched for a couple of years before going to my GP who then without batting an eyelid referred me. I am "high functioning" but I also have ADHD and if I didn't have my husband, I would need a carer who would make sure I would eat and drink properly. I would just forget and then just eat something that doesn't need preparing. Something you can just stuff up our face. If they think that's a great way to live then be my guest and try it.
I had a similar experience, the GP looked at me suspiciously then started going down the list of questions……immediately referred, no problem. (Started giggling. ) Me telling them I often work at a dinosaur museum might have put the nail in that coffin…….
Even though, I sometimes disagree with you. I don’t understand how these people are so hateful! Actually I do, they have main character syndrome and are upset that others are now getting the attention we rightfully deserve…even though its still not enough! I remember when I started talking about how I was abused as a child and people who claim they hadn’t been abused, started saying things like “You don’t need to talk about it” “you aren’t special” “not everything is about you!” 🙄
Disagreement is healthy, otherwise we’d all be clones of each other - repeating trueisms like a chant. It’s not difficult to be respectful though, and discuss ideas, events and opinions without attacking people. 🧡
This is a really good video. I did not really expect ranking troll comments would be very informative. You have said a lot of important things. It was really good.
I am so privileged to be able to get formal ADHD and autistic affirmations/identifications (hate calling them diagnoses as neurology is not a disease) through the NHS.
I liked that you kept the names of the trolls and did not hide it. When bachelor people want to share troll comments they block their names but they should not. But you did not show the name that is probably autistic and I understand they should be protected by bullying or criticism just in case they have RS? Not that the alllsitic trolls should be bullied. They should be called out or called in.
The reading list! Oh man. The one I got, last year at the age of 30, was almost entirely aimed at parents and carers and what was aimed at autistic people was aimed at low-support-needs children and teenagers. Editing to add: "Frigid mother syndrome" is one of the *few* pseudoscientific concepts surrounding autism that I could see might have a little basis in fact - if some subset of mothers with autism exhibit atypical attachment displays that are misinterpreted by neurotypical doctors as being "weakly attached", that *might* explain *some* of that theory.
The reading list. Mine was fairly good, I think. Could have done with podcasts, TH-cam channels, and more websites and community groups on it. But hey ho!
This was really validating to hear! If it wasn’t for the availability of the autistic voices on TikTok I found 2 years ago, I would still be suffering alone, masking heavily, thinking that my hypersensitivity, my intense inner life, my experience of the world was bad, wrong, pathological. But now I’m freeeeeee 🎉 so kiss my weird arse, haters.
Is that psychological story that the 7 things we most hate in other people are the things we’re most struggling to suppress in ourselves because we fear our own and other’s judgement (same for the seven most admired traits) true or debunked by now? Because I always thought that might be related to closeted gay people being haters to gays, ex-smokers hating on smokers etcetera. Because why else would anyone spend so much energy on people they’re not interested in for positive relationships?
This was such a nice video, thank you for helping to inform folks ❤ there really isn't enough knowledge out there with the neurotypical croud so they wont understand us very well :(
It's amazing how you manage to be so respectful, even when you are read such hateful and absurd comments. You are a good person Mike🙂. Thank you for math you do fore the community!!
I don't understand why people are so obsessed with medical "professionals". It's not like they are magical beings that have a third eye for truth or anything. All they did was learn the same information that is widely available to the public today and (hopefully) interact with some autistic individuals before getting called a professional. I would argue educating yourself on the internet and watching lots of videos about autistic experiences can make you even more of an expert and you might have more up-to-date information as well.
I'm self diagnosed (and peer reviewed) and don't plan to seek a medical diagnosis. Obviously healthcare in the US sucks but on top of that, there are so many ways in which a diagnosis could limit me as a low(er) support needs autistic and there isn't even much support offered upon diagnosis. Maybe in the future I will decide that I need a medical diagnosis, but for now I am happy to trust my own judgement in this
I" function" quite well in a cafeteria while the behind of me person is talking loudly and im struggling to try to isolate the sound of my friend's voice to pay attention to only him to maintain the conversation while i listen them both or more sounds at the same time I can pretend that it's so easy and nothing is wrong.But is is difficult.That difficulty is the autism .Thank It's really simple but if people are no indide your hear if people dont experience something themself they dont have the capacity to comprehend it.What's the suggestion?. Switch heads for a day? If that would be possible!
re the argument that being 'high functioning' means you're not Autistic or have cured your Autism: - if you have type 2 diabetes and keep your blood sugar controlled by diet, does that mean you don't have diabetes any more and don't need to watch what you eat? Of course not. If you're long-sighted and need glasses to read, does having those glasses and now being able to read, mean that you are not long-sighted any more? Of course not. The argument is just idiotic.
Many of us didn't grow up rich white male, so we weren't diagnosed until our mid 30s or after. We were autistic the whole time. Life would have been a little easier if I knew I was autistic at a younger age. (because I knew I'd be discriminated against and bullied my whole life (not just through mid college) and I'd switch career tracks. Autistic pride sounds better than "awareness" (which sounds like a disease to be aware of). If you can be proud to be gay and have gone through adversity, then so can autistic people who have gone through more than neurotypicals. Hence, the pride.
16:11 which is a disorder in its self, isn’t it? Then something fakes having a “illness” or a “disorder” for attention, and I think some people even fake it and make their kid fake it too so they both get attention.
The term "self-identified" doesn't sound quite right because it implies it's something you can pick and choose, like identifying with a group, rather than a real neurodevelopmental difference
We're just trying to make sense of and understand our lives. Perhaps these people should be looking at and improving themselves rather than dismissing other people's identities, self or otherwise.
Thank you for sharing this video! Handling the inevitable vitriol that comes with opening oneself to the I really appreciate you putting yourself out there to bring clarity and information about neurodiversity. That being said, I accept you for eating pineapple on your pizza, even if I do find it repulsive. 🍍🤣
I have CPTSD, and borderline personality. I'm beginning to think I could have autism. I have not been diagnosed as such. Masking. Masking is running the bridge of the USS Defiant by yourself. All power to the shields. Engage cloaking device! Evasive maneuvers! The decompression process after a day's worth of being a people is never long enough. For example, I would work at Blockbuster till 12:00 a.m. I was expected back at 8:00 a.m. They would never give me two days off in a row. I eventually got burnt out. I'm thrilled the world is finally acknowledging our struggles. The struggles of a divergent. My dad doesn't believe in my mental illness. I guess that's easier than acknowledging that he (and others) gave it to me. Keep the faith. There are those out there that will see you. I have a wonderful support system.
I relate. I was given bpd diagnosis as adult. No help offered and much wrong with said diagnosis. I have had problems since birth. Infants school teachers noticed and recommended that my parents take me to child psycology. Nothing changed for me as I've just discovered my parents kept removing me from the psychology. Life is painful and I sometimes attempt suicide.
i think it's ok to say that pineapple doesn't belong on pizza. Hawaiian pizza lovers aren't marginalised and it would be more of an expression of how strongly i dislike the combination rather than about policing others' tastes. I feel like it's kinda like how some people say that socks and sandals don't go together, but when you wear them, no one Actually cares.
I am studying to be a dietitian and I am doing my internship in a psychiatric hospital, today I saw a young man with low functioning autism.... it is only when you see someone like him is that you really understand the difference between high and low functioning, or level 3 of support, as we use here in Brazil. He doesn't talk, he screams most part of the time, he has to wear diapers, because he cannot go to the bathroom on his own and he needs a metal spoon, because otherwise he breaks the plastic spoon with his teeth, cause he can't control the strength of his jaw (in psychiatric hospitals they only get plastic utensils). So I think we need to stop romanticizing autism a bit. if it is a spectrum, it is because there is a scale that goes both ends. Yes, there is such a thing as low functioning and he is it. It was a bit weird seeing him at the low functioning end and me at the high functioning... High functioning autistic people need to understand that there are people like Jeferson and it is not fun. Autism is not just having a different way of thinking or brain wiring, it can also be debilitating. He is extremely aggressive and he doesn't even walk, so yeah, low function is a real problem.
I am sorry that those pathetic haters write those comments to you. They are so childish and dumb. I have been stalked and bullyied and also attacked physically that I ended with multiple breaks in foot only because those haters assume lots of things that are even not true. Because there are here in this area lots of people who spread lies and untrue rumours. Some people believe all the lies and take violent action. I am not sure if I live tomorrow because of those criminals.
Now I have decided to speak once again with the police because this stalking is actually getting worse. It is the job of the police to do research. They will need to do their job. I am not giving up. Never. 🍀
A funny thing is that Overdiagnosis can exist at the same time as Underdiagnosis and both can be widespread. Yet another distribution problem for the 🌍🌎🌏🌐🗺️
😅 But I prefer my pizza without pineapple. I don't understand trolls. The "you can mask, you don't need a diagnosis"... so if someone is severally depressed and pretending to be happy in front of others, that's okay because they look happy to you? They don't a diagnosis of depression or help for it? I don't understand people...
4:06 The thing is, something can be medically relevant, and medically identifiable, without needing to be cured. I have no problem with autism being medicalized; the pathway to cheap and readily available formal diagnosis almost certainly lies in identifying biomarkers of autism.
If person thinks they are autistic, gets a diagnosis that they aren't that is a good thing. It's check one thing they are not off and they can find out what's really the issue at hand. Could be other neurological development disorders or something else that has different treatments. If gets a person into see professionals that's good thing. Only caveat is misdiagnosis lke women typically. "You can't be autistic, you woman and married with kids".
To be fair... a doctor does diagnose us as male and female 😄 Not intended to mean ANYTHING, just making a joke because it hit me as funny when this subject rolled on lol
I loved the one with the "if there's no diagnostic it doesn't exist", XD damn medicine, before it, humans were immortal and free from diseases!!!
@@mz-pd5hw 😂😂😂 I wish I thought that when I made this video!
This is a good one
Ha yeah. Similar to how other galaxies always existed before we knew about them
It's scary how many people there are out there thinking only medical professionals can decide if someone has a different way of experiencing things and struggle in the society. The way we are thinking and processing. They are not using your brain so how can they even know what is happening? This is why the Autistic community is so important!
the doctors invented sickness to sell more hospitals
Remember that these types of comments say far more about the people who leave them, than they will ever say about you. You can have compassion for their obvious issues, but you don't need to waste any spoons digging through their crap either.
You're right. That's why I saved them up for a video. Most of the plain offensive ones just get deleted anyway (I don't want anyone else feeling upset by them). -Mike 🧡
@@Autistic_AF It's a really great way to turn a negative into a positive, to make positive content that calls out the silliness of these takes, so we can all laugh and heal together.
@@megleland6320 exactly :-) you read my mind. That should be in the DSM-V!
Interestingly enough, their comments are probably more accurate based on evidence because the YT or whoever has made many videos showing their behavior, and the person is leaving a rude comment based on those. we are judging the person on one rude comment.
So probably in court the rude comments would win, lol
"If you can mask, you don't need an autism diagnosis". If I'm masking, it means I'm covering something. What am I covering? What the commenter is really saying is, "If you can keep your autism from making me feel uncomfortable, then it doesn't exist". Actually, it's more like, "If your acceptance of humanity's diversity makes me uncomfortable, then autism doesn't exist"
And I love pineapple on pizza. Maybe that should be in the next DSM criteria
Pineapple on pizza, yum!
@@elvwood Go, Team Pineapple!
Yes! Pineapple in the diagnostic criteria!
I think pineapple on pizza is alright, I haven't had it in a while but I remember it was pretty good
Worst part of my diagnosis is the invalidation I routinely receive when I disclose it. It's absolutely absurd. Imagine being gay and closeted. Hiding your entire life, and not realizing it. Struggling to be heterosexual to survive. Knowing that you are different, but not understanding how or why. Being shamed and bullied when you exhibit anything deemed by family, freinds, and peers as "gay".
Feeling alone, confused, and deeply ashamed of yourself as a result.
Then realizing that there are other people who share the same traits as you. But instead of sexuality, they are less obvious, arguably less common neurological traits. Traits that are much more pervasive than sexuality. You slowly realize that you've always had these traits, and seek evaluation for autism.
And it's confirmed by an actual autism diagnosis expert.
...and when you tell most people, they don't believe you:
"You don't seem autistic to me..."
Imagine telling someone you've been diagnosed with cancer, or bi-polar disorder, or erectile dysfunction, and getting a similar response. Rest assured: You're either dealing with an asshole, someone who's profoundly ignorant, insensitive, or an utter idiot.
How to say you completely understand - without saying it. Thank you, William. Unfortunately, those assholes; the profoundly intentionally ignorant are everywhere. Even worse; they sometimes only tend to reveal their biases once a ND person attempts a disclosure. An emotionally fraud moment for all.
😔I don't need to imagine. The combo of both really sucks
Usually it's coming from the same bigots but the worst is when it comes from someone you didn't expect it from
@@Autistic_AF Do you mean emotionally fraught?
@TheWilliamHoganExperience I hear your point of view and pain and I agree completely it's invalidating. However I confess that I have known people to use that expression "u don't seem autistic" without bad intentions, it's simply a case they only have a perceived stereotype of what Autism may be due to how it's portrayed in the media, such as Rain Man or Big Bang Theory etc. It stems from a lack of knowledge of dealing with higher support need individuals. Some say it maliciously, for others it's just a case of them understanding the concept of a spectrum. Even myself, as a diagonsed person, sometimes struggles with it as I meet adults with it and sometimes think I may ve too able or social to have it etc etc
in the 1990's, i didnt talk, stared at things weirdly, and failed to participate in society. after 30 years of invalidation and shame i am just barely entering the space of people who feel like they are autistic because i've been spending my whole life assuming i didnt deserve to be alive.
Autistic spaces are the best.
Welcome. Friend.🎉
"NT sympathizer" made me laugh out loud 😭 I don't know why that is so funny
It's really funny. I can imagine myself dressed in a red beret, sitting in a dark corner of a pub, awaiting the signal to meet my contact at the ...
Sorry, I was getting carried away there!
@@Autistic_AF OH NO! He really IS an NT sympathizer😱😱
Lmao😂
@@Autistic_AF nah, I wanna know how it ends
@Autistic_AF *Me sitting in the opposite corner of the pub, face covered by the hood of my long cloak, red beret secretly underneath, barely visible. Making ominous sign at you. Meaning:*
"I AM your contact. THIS is your sign to strengthen the alliance between all neurodivergent people and begin the uprising of neurodivergence to make the world a better, more happy, more neurodivergent-friendly place."
"NT Sympathizer" - If it's not ironic it's even more hilarious 😂.
Darnn. People be really grouchy about autistics (checks notes) existing. Do they not have anything better too do with their lives?!
Happy to call us weirdos or nerds or geeks or mad-cat-lady or train-spotter or standoffish or cold-fish or unfriendly or snobby or grammar n**i or all the other terms for people who are different, because the difference is noticeable no matter how hard we may mask, but if we dare to say, 'actually, I'm like that because I'm autistic' then all of a sudden it's 'no you aren't, you just want attention'.
Nope! They definitely don't have anything better to do with themselves.
Hate us cuz they ain't us!
@@zinzincoetzee1934 😂👍
They not like us😊
@@turtleanton6539🤣💀
I am grateful to have found you and this community. I spent my whole life feeling like an alien. I don't feel so alone now that I know others have gone through the same thing as me. I am 40, self diagnosed. I did not know much about Autism until I had my son, who is also Autistic. When I began to learn more about Autism, I started connecting dots. I don't see much of a point in getting a medical diagnosis because I am low support needs, and don't have the financial means to get formally diagnosed. I have began to accept who I am though, and I don't try to mask or hide my differences as much as I used to.
Pellie, that is beautiful. I’m glad you’re here. I’m so sorry that for our generation, so many of us were missed. We number in the millions. 🧡
@@Autistic_AF Unfortunately, I had a traumatic childhood and ended up in therapy at an early age. I have been diagnosed with so many things that are often hand in hand with Autism but never Autism itself. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, major depressive disorder and PTSD. No matter how many meds or how much therapy I went to nothing helped (except sleep meds and anxiety meds). Depression meds, and antipsychotics made me worse. I always wondered what was wrong with me that I could not function like a "normal" human being. Now, I know and I am able to give myself more grace. I also have found ways to cope and natural ways to help me sleep at night. I do feel bad that so many of us got misdiagnosed, labeled bad, weird, loser, nerd, quirky, etc. All those things I heard growing up just for being different.
I really like the term "self-identified" - I do find "self-diagnosed" to be a bit misleading, as 1. You can't diagnose yourself with anything by definition, and 2. As you mentioned, self-identification often has to come first, before diagnosis
I think we should get away from the word "diagnosis" entirely. It is already clear that autism isn't an illness. I mean, there isn't a "homosexuality diagnosis" and no one would think it would make sense to have one.
You are kinder to trolls than I am. Thank you for your clear thinking with kindness for everyone.
I disassociate from them, @LisaAnnOberbrunner. It means writing off knowing them, but I don't want to after I hear something like that.
@@LisaAnnOberbrunner Thanks, Lisa ☺️
Handled with tact and respect. I don’t usually leave comments but I want to do my bit to remind you that the work you put into this channel is very much appreciated Mike. Your videos have both sign-posted me to and been themselves fascinating resources for helping me navigate my life as a self identified person and I am sure have helped many many others feel validated in their struggles and strengths. Thank you!
@@oscaralete7707 Awh thank you for leaving such a kind comment! I really appreciate it, thank you for being here. 🧡
I get replies telling me “you’re not autistic”
I was diagnosed in early childhood
It's hilarious to see what nonsense they come up with next, some of those comments were absurd 👁️👁️
@@an_autistic_individual Yep!
“English is a *translation layer* between thought and voice.”
I usually try to include that when explaining masking to someone who truly wants to understand. I explain that my thoughts and feelings are hard to translate into words, and while I’ve learned many words (yay hyperlexic :P), figuring out exactly which one fits is also difficult.
Feelings churn, they rumble, they evolve, they change. It’s ever-changing, along with acknowledging the current feelings of the day vs feelings of the week or month, ones that slowly evolve. It’s hard to explain my own state, and that inandof itself is personally fascinating.
This is literally me!! I have a really hard time in regular conversations because it takes me so long to translate a response I have into actual words that make sense, and miscommunication usually happens when I try to rush myself into answering. I have to re-explain what I meant a couple times, or just let it be and hope everyone forgets what I said. It also sometimes feels like I don't have opinions about anything until after the event, because it takes me so long to put anything into words, and by the time I do, it would be weird to bring it back up. I recently noticed that most of what I say out loud is just observing my environment, like, "pretty clouds!" or "I love cooking" while I'm cooking or cooing over a pet...I don't know, it's hard for people to get to know me because so much of my inner world is just impossible to get out, and I'm also very bad at talking about nothing (small talk).
The more time I spend in the online autistic community, the more I connect with! 😂 I love it!
I am a diagnosed Autistic person. Genuinely, I hate it. It prevents me from doing so much, including proper interactions. But, it’s who I am.
I wish you the best. Don’t let the hate get to you, we’re all special. Even when it seems like a hinderance.
I wish there would me more money invested into research that would actually help autistic people thrive in society instead of pushing for a "cure".
@@mayonnaiseonanescalator7237
Same. There’s technically a “cure” if you mean a horrible lobotomy or being unalived. There’s no cure and never will be. Because it’s not a disease, it’s the brain itself being different. It’s impossible.
@@Real_Moon-Moon I hope you consider allergies a disease
@@maroonmaroonmaroon2985
What on earth are you talking about?
@@Real_Moon-Moon the “not a disease” nonsense
12:58 When someone has chronic pain, there is also no medical test to establish that they need prescription painkillers. And most people know how to diagnose a cold, without needing a medical test. (Even doctors rarely check if one of the viruses that causes a cold is in your lungs or your blood.)
Arguably, the criteria that a psychiatrist uses to diagnose autism could be called a battery of tests. They do not check your blood or listen to your lungs or look into your ear canal. But they very closely look at your behaviours and your difficulties, and how persistent they are, and in what situations they occur. Which are the adequate “tests” to conduct for recognizing a neurodevelopmental condition that is defined by specific behaviours and difficulties.
Yes! 👍
What? Your ears are cute!
EXACTLY.
💯
They really are! Its almost as if they were custom made just for Mike! 😉
Mike, I really appreciate your videos! Thank you for putting yourself out there. ❤
I appreciate that! Thank you, Steph! ☺️
I love how you are putting things in a new, absurd and/or funny perspective. It helps people who have to deal with invalidation and NTs (hopefully) to to a better understanding.
It's very recent (one week ago), that I started self identifying as autistic. Before that, I reached out to a social worker to help me with certain things, that I am struggling with. One of those things was to help me get an appointment for a formal diagnose, which she was keep pushing back. Her first reaction, when I told her, that I no longer think that I MAY be on the spectrum, but then KNEW I am autistic was to invalidate it. The second reaction was to urge me into getting a formal diagnose, to show me that I'm not autistic. I was baffled and told her, that's something I asked for, for quite some time and that I want that for myself, to take away the power of being invalidated.
Since then I am wondering, why some NTs are so defensive towards (self diagnosed) autism. It's not like it's hurting them or have other more or less severe affects on them. But without the self identification it was keeping me to design my life according to my individual needs. Things like creating my own save spaces. One of those is having a designated room I can go to, when sensory overload is kicking in. The others are friends (one NT, one autistic), I can openly talk to and where I can drop the masking. It's been such a relief to allow myself doing and having that.
The most beautiful thing since then was, when I opened up to my NT friend, whom I only known for maybe two months, and he said, that's the first time he has seen me being full of life and being happy for me. So in which way is this a threat to someone, who isn't affected by autism?
Well I'm about 3 years into self discovery of my AuDHD traits and i dare say I will be officially diagnosed at somepoint in the furture but for now my kids are my priority. To all the haters out there they may as well save their breath. The way you turned the negatives into a positive, very well done Mike. You always have a way of wording things that makes soo much more sense than the haters could ever do. I feel proud to be part of this little corner of TH-cam, validation and understanding can be very healing. Great video Mike. 😊
Thanks Helen. I’m really glad you’re here! ☺️ 🐉 🧡
... Did anyone take formally diagnosed people seriously before the self-diagnosis "trend"???
My guess is the formally diagnosed pre-, say, 2010, were mostly some combination of intellectually disabled and/or nonverbal, and no, weren’t taken seriously, though their parents/grandparents sometimes were, if they had money, and some of THEM were, I’m sure, undiagnosed autistics. They (the gene pool) also seem to be the ones utterly peeved at autistic adults trying to have any voice or influence in the discussion of autism. I haven’t noticed or heard of a rash of kids diagnosed 20+ years ago who are now adults bitterly resenting people their age who are more recently diagnosed, but maybe I’m just not paying enough attention… 🤔
If by ‘seriously’ they mean with scorn, derision, stigma and avoidance then yes, maybe! I see not much has changed ‘before’ versus ‘after’ !
As someone going through the process of self-diagnosis at age 36 (four months of research/interviewing relatives and counting!) and looking to pursue a formal diagnosis, I just want to thank you! Your content and validation of the self-id process has been hugely helpful when it comes to my internal struggles and feelings of appropriation. Unfortunately, my diagnosis is on pause due to recently being laid off, but in the meantime I'll have videos like these to help me process the absolute whirlwind of emotions this whole thing has been. It can be tough when you find something that answers all those little questions you've had about why you are the way you are, only to see people say you don't "count" because you didn't do it the "right" way.
@@TyWorth Thanks, Ty! I’m really glad that my content has been helpful in a small way! I’m sorry you’ve been laid off (I had that experience once too, just before Christmas!) - you’ll be able to pursue this more later formally but can prepare your thoughts in advance:)
I think that knowing one has autism is a relief. I was diagnosed at age 41. I also have ADHD and anxiety. If someone comes out as gay that's a relief for them and they are not hiding or masking as someone they're not. The ignorance and stupidity from those comments is their own. It's not your problem.
You are a huge inspiration for me, you make me know I can do big things
@@MrDangerJonsson Thank you, Cope. That means a lot to me. You certainly can do big things. They just take time. Do a tiny bit extra each day if you have the energy to do so. 🧡
If a person is a teacher but can't even understand the difference by sympathy and empathy (or spell) then something is seriously wrong...
Congrats on hitting 14k already, it feels like I just said congrats on 13k yesterday 🎉
Clearly we outnumber the trolls, so carry on with the videos...we're all ears 😁
Thanks, Liz! (Also, that’s now to do a funny pun!). 😂☺️
Diagnosed at 50. I’m very grateful for your content. Being seen is such an unmet need, after all lifetime of having my experience and POV invalidated in large and small ways in ALL areas of life. Your content helps me feel seen by you even though we will never meet. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie, though, that, "are your ears real," comment got me weak bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂
18:18 Yes sir, it does. Unfortunatley it seems mainline pizza shops consistently use unripe stuff from a can an pair it with mediocre ham. People who haven't tried it may also be confused by the fact that cooked pineapple taste different from raw pineapple.
Y'know, that reminds me that radish also has a significantly different taste when cooked. Its harshness dies down and it becomes more apple-like in taste.
@ayo9290
I've never enjoyed pineapple on pizza, but holy shit did your comment allow me to completely re-evaluate my position.
It makes a lot of sense; I've had savoury dishes with pineapple and loved them, with the big difference that the pineapple was fresh and properly cooked in them.
Likewise, most of the issues I have with pineapple on pizza (texture, flavour, particular level of sweetness) are issues that I'd also have with raw canned pineapple, again, making a lot of sense.
And yeah, the ham thing is also very important, a shitty industrial ham will often bring down the taste of any meal, it's no wonder none of my fave toppings are ham.
I should try and make myself a good Hawaiian pizza just to see how much better I like it and then make my judgement.
"How Can Meows Be Real If Our Ears Aren't Real"
Meow 😺
"You don't need a doctor to tell you you're gay." That just conjured up a really bizarre scenario of gay/lesbian partners wanting to get married, but the officiant telling them "In order to marry you, I'll first need a doctor's note officially diagnosing both of you as being homosexual."
Thank you for your thoughtful videos. You are great. What you are doing here matters.
I appreciate that, thank you. ☺️
Okay...gonna try on the heiroglyphics caps lock comment here. FTR, I have autistic traits myself. Both my kids are diagnosed autistic.
Mike is right - being self-centered is not part of the diagnostic process. Hate to say it, commenter, but it is possible to be both autistic and a self-centered jerk just as it is possible to be allistic and a self-centered jerk. Being autistic, however, doesn't mean you're doomed to be a self-centered jerk.
I know that the idea of people being left-brained or right-brained was in vogue at one time and bandied about among educators, but recent brain research has dispelled that idea. Without adding links in comments, one of the fastest things you can do is check Brittanica -- they remain a good resource on well-established facts.
As for lack of compassion for others...my oldest has always needed to have some watching because she will give everything she has away to people who need it if given the opportunity to do so. She reached out starting at an early age to run charity drives entirely on her own. Lack of compassion for others is not among her problems. Executive function difficulties? Absolutely. Processing difficulties that sometimes make it difficult to react in the moment? Yep. Both of those are autistic traits. But one of the main worries we have is people taking advantage of her compassionate nature.
Some autistic kids and adults do exhibit dangerous behavior at times, this is true. IME with my kids, it's not the norm.
And IDK...here on this video I see an autistic person who is interested in communication. Both my diagnosed autistic kids are interested in communication, but there are often barriers to them doing so effectively, including to receiving information sometimes. I found ways to get around that at home even before we had a label for what was going on.
Since you say you know very little about autism, I would like to suggest that you take the time to do some reading. There are some excellent resources out there. One that was suggested for my child (not the only one) is Dr. Price's Unmasking Autism. I hope you do take the time to learn more because not only are you falling prey to a lot of stereotypes, you seem to be dealing with a lot of anger. The root seems to be your relationship with your brother and your parents, but you're carrying that into comment sections on videos I bet no one forced you to watch. I hope such reading would help give a different perspective for you to consider even if it can't fix the pain you've experienced from growing up in what sounds like a quite stressful situation.
I actually find it awesome that we have AI now that can "act human" in a conversation. Because this shows NT people how easy it is to mask and blend in, and that most of the conversations follow a fixed or similar pattern and thus can be memorized if you are of average or high IQ, which most people with level 1 ASD have. This is what I did when growing up, and still do, memorizing the patterns and expectations of certain situations and environments. Nobody would know at first glance that I am and introverted auDHD person. My intelligence ables me to function in society to a certain degree. HOWEVER... if they stray from the "normal framework" of a conversation, I run into slippery ice territory of looking at the body language and "reading between the lines", what people want from me. This is the same thing what you see with AI running into small mistakes in the conversations. They still can't do the non-verbal communication very well. The same goes for "sayings" etc. I learned most of the sayings by heart, but if someone all of a sudden comes up with a new one, or a new joke, I will maybe not get it the first time, and run into miscommunication. It is exhausting thought to keep the "library" up and running sometimes....
I just discovered your channel today and I just want to say as a fellow neurodivergent individual and counselor-in-training, I love the advocacy and support you provide for the largely misunderstood community. Keep doing what you do.
I'm going to have to come back to this video when comments get too much to cope with! 😆 You've dealt with these with such grace, patience and thoughtfulness. Who knew Autistic people could be so emotionally intelligent! 😜
Awh, thank you :)
I am new to content creation and I've been shocked at some of the invalidating comments. Mostly are good, but some are just mind blowing to me. I may have to make one of these videos one day lol.
@@TheMusingsOfMyAuDHDBrain tier rank them!
i’ve never been to this channel before and i confess i’ve only watched 3 minutes so far but i love your voice
Thank you for your videos. I self diagnosed recently after seeing LOTS which rang some bells and I started to investigate. I'm 59, married with a kid, have a degree and a successful tech career. How I missed this over the years is beyond me as it's patently obvious now I know what ASD is - yes, I was woefully ignorant prior to this and thought of autism only existing on the non-verbal extreme of the spectrum. Videos like yours and other ASD content creators have opened my eyes.
But, I will never have a professional diagnosis - the thought of going through the hoops here (I'm a Brit living in Norway) just gives me anxiety just thinking of it. And for what? To validate it for others? At my age I don't need that, and I get along fine without support. In addition, after the dismissive reaction of my wife when I mentioned it to her, well, no thanks, I will keep it to myself I think. But I am still thankful that I now know why I am the way I am, and that is good enough for me. :)
Also something I've learned over the past 6 decades; people be people doing people things and haters gonna hate no matter what. ;)
Great vid ! I'm planning to make mine with the french comments. Funny or interesting thing is, there not the same. Congratulations, you rock !
You are awesome Mike!
Nahhhhhhh - but thank you, Eryn! You're the kindest! 🧡
You are so good at explaining what a lot of us think but can’t put words to. I especially liked your explanation of ‘pride’. And thank you for the cute bird at the end. Doesn’t have a name?
@@JanneGlass thank you! ☺️ The duck is SIR FRANCIS DRAKE! 🦆
@@Autistic_AF😂🤣 You, sir, win at punning.
@@Autistic_AF is he a Muscovy? I love watching ducks, they're so entertaining ❤
Mike, unfortunately these hot-air merchants say what many people in our society feel. It is the attitude of the gatekeeping general practitioners who also prevent adult assessment by ascerting that we are 'too old' for a formal diagnosis to have any meaning. Fortunately for me I have a sister who is willing to fund my private assessment because we both understand that it will contribute much-needed explanation for a lifetime of difficulty which has nothing to do with my blindness. Oh, and there is the other trope that I already have a major difference. Why would I actively seek another? (Laughs uproariously).
This video is 2024AD/10
Exactly! 𓀃𓀃𓀌𓀄𓀅𓀍
Agree +100%. (Does that make it 4048AD/10 ? 😂)
❤
@JanneGlass You don't double a temperature by doubling the number before the degrees symbol, no matter which of the popular types of degrees you use. To double a temperature, you have to use measure in Kelvins or similar (note "Kelvins", not "degrees Kelvin").
I feel like dates are probably the same way, where if you want to double it, you have to start your counting from the beginning of time and double that, too...
It might be easier to just halve the denominator...
Awesome video Mike. I do struggle with these negative comments. I just don't understand what could possibly drive someone to leave them. I think you were so balanced with your analysis of this. Really awesome work!
Loved the background. Beautiful ferns and was it ivy? And that gorgeous duck at the end with its waggly tail! It sent happy shivers all through my body 💚🌿🦆(insert Muscovy duck emoji here).
@@pardalote Hey! 🦆 is Sir Francis DRAKE (geddit?). Muscovies are so amazing. They’re smart, they make the most incredible eye contact 👀 🦆 and have reciprocal dances. Ferns and ivy yep! And probably a few little spiders :)
Thank you - I appreciate your support as always! 🧡
@Autistic_AF you are making me want to get Muscovy ducks too! I love your very aristocratic duck name. Seriously cool and funny 😎
I don't think I'd mind intense eye contact with a duck 🙂 And reciprocal dances! OMG - you have to film that somewhere and post it. I need to see it 😃
Thanks for another great video, you're quite amusing😂. Also, she says she isn't a witch but she turned me into a newt.
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I got better.
😂😂 yes! The whole film is amazing! 🤩
What else floats?
Lead, lead!
Very small rocks??
@@Autistic_AF I kinda think of Monty Python as a way to kinda call the Autistics online. One time someone posted a picture of lupins on a gardening subreddit and all I did was write "obligatory Monty Python reference," and they all came out and spoke to me in quotes. It's kinda like a duck call but for older Autistics in comments sections.
Yeah both BPD and Bipolar are very common misdiagnosis for woman.
I personally had to get multiple assesments. The first assessment the clinician diagnosed my LDs. She said I could have adhd. But wasn't comfortable diagnosing either thr adhd or the asd.
Second time the Neuropsych confirmed the LDs, added one and confirmed my ADHD. But refused to diagnose me with autism. I was Honestly shocked?
My dad is autistic. And a handful of family members are autistic/presumed autistic.
When I asked the NP why she wouldnt diagnose me. She basically gave me one of those non answers fo make me go away.
So I emailed her for clarification. Reminding her of the evidence I'd brought to my session with her (literally binders of printouts, all highlighted. 50 different self assessmnts. My dad bring autistic ect). And she flat out ghosted me? It wasnt an extremely long email. I wasnt harassing her. But like, I kind of figured since I was paying her. I deserved a straight answer? Buuuut no, just ghosted. I wish someine had piinted me in the direction of one of these "eager" people to diagnose lol. Because that certainly wasnt my experience. Nor a lot of other women on the spectrum
I finally managed to get the diagnisis on paper... But wow is trying to get a diagnosis as a female difficult...
My GP before I went to seek diagnosis said to me "even if you were autistic I wouldn't diagnose you" like wow..
Also, even as someone with a formal diagnosis on paper. I dont get any benefits? The system hete is so bad ai cant even get food stamps even though im unemployed. So the whole "self diagnosed people taking benifits away from digsnosed people" is ridiculous.
I'm Aspy. I have an incurable urge to call this guy " Pixie ", but I like him and like what he sais.
🧚🏽♂️
(From the USA) I'm a recent subscriber and watching your videos makes me feel better about my own situation. I love how you respond to the trollish comments too.
Ever since I mentored autistic children (2009), I have put in countless hours trying to figure myself out because when I met these kids 15 years ago, I saw aspects of myself in them more and more. I sought diagnosis and didn't have access until 2013 when I was covered by the student insurance at my university where I got clinically identified as having ADHD rather than Autistic because I didn't have as many Autistic markers as ADHD, so....
Peers of mine who were diagnosed by the same practitioner later got a secondry diagnosis of Autism + ADHD from elsewhere (when more and more professionals were doing dual rather than either/or diagnosis).
I have tried to obtain a second assessment and have not been able to access any resources for it. The reason is that most clinics* where I can reasonably commute will do an ADHD but not an Autism assessment. Proportionately very few do an autism assessment at all and, of those, only two accept any kind but not all types of insurnce. Neither of those accept mine. Unless I can afford to pay the total cost (I can't and am unlikely to ever be able), I will not have access to an assessment. Even then, it would be several months if not more than a year or two out.
I really appreciate when formally diagnosed Autistic people and professionals acknowledge this and validate self-identified/diagnosed autistic people. However, I am often reluctant to share even thinking I might be on the spectrum because of the backlash (sometimes vitriolic) because self-diagnosis is "invalid" or whatever. I somewhat envy people with the courage to share this about themselves regardless.
Anyway, thanks again for your contributions to the world. I may forever be in this liminal space, but your videos make me feel better about my own situation.
*There are a dozen or so clinics with professionals who treat/work with Autistic clients but will not assess clients for Autism and it's frustrating.
More of these! Excellent points for all of these... Way to get them with facts and logic.
Thanks, Jen! 🧡
It looks like some NTs feel inferior because they have nothing to complain about. 😂
When I realised I might be autistic I researched for a couple of years before going to my GP who then without batting an eyelid referred me. I am "high functioning" but I also have ADHD and if I didn't have my husband, I would need a carer who would make sure I would eat and drink properly. I would just forget and then just eat something that doesn't need preparing. Something you can just stuff up our face.
If they think that's a great way to live then be my guest and try it.
I had a similar experience, the GP looked at me suspiciously then started going down the list of questions……immediately referred, no problem. (Started giggling. )
Me telling them I often work at a dinosaur museum might have put the nail in that coffin…….
Even though, I sometimes disagree with you. I don’t understand how these people are so hateful! Actually I do, they have main character syndrome and are upset that others are now getting the attention we rightfully deserve…even though its still not enough! I remember when I started talking about how I was abused as a child and people who claim they hadn’t been abused, started saying things like “You don’t need to talk about it” “you aren’t special” “not everything is about you!” 🙄
Disagreement is healthy, otherwise we’d all be clones of each other - repeating trueisms like a chant. It’s not difficult to be respectful though, and discuss ideas, events and opinions without attacking people. 🧡
This is a really good video. I did not really expect ranking troll comments would be very informative. You have said a lot of important things. It was really good.
I think it depends on which toppings are there with the pineapple.
@@freecat1278 🍕 yes!
This is a very valid point. And why don't we add other fruits to pizza? Mango perhaps or Dragonfruit? Just wondering....
@@pardalote I have seen pizza with banana. I guess anything that tastes good on bread and with something hearty alongside will work?
I don't know about that...I actually never had a bad pizza with pineapple.
I am so privileged to be able to get formal ADHD and autistic affirmations/identifications (hate calling them diagnoses as neurology is not a disease) through the NHS.
I liked that you kept the names of the trolls and did not hide it. When bachelor people want to share troll comments they block their names but they should not. But you did not show the name that is probably autistic and I understand they should be protected by bullying or criticism just in case they have RS? Not that the alllsitic trolls should be bullied. They should be called out or called in.
The reading list! Oh man. The one I got, last year at the age of 30, was almost entirely aimed at parents and carers and what was aimed at autistic people was aimed at low-support-needs children and teenagers.
Editing to add: "Frigid mother syndrome" is one of the *few* pseudoscientific concepts surrounding autism that I could see might have a little basis in fact - if some subset of mothers with autism exhibit atypical attachment displays that are misinterpreted by neurotypical doctors as being "weakly attached", that *might* explain *some* of that theory.
The reading list. Mine was fairly good, I think. Could have done with podcasts, TH-cam channels, and more websites and community groups on it. But hey ho!
4000 BC out of ten. 🤣🤣🤣
I enjoy your humor, thanks.
Thank you!! ☺️
This was really validating to hear! If it wasn’t for the availability of the autistic voices on TikTok I found 2 years ago, I would still be suffering alone, masking heavily, thinking that my hypersensitivity, my intense inner life, my experience of the world was bad, wrong, pathological. But now I’m freeeeeee 🎉 so kiss my weird arse, haters.
Gatekeeping is why I don’t provide any information to anyone anymore.
Is that psychological story that the 7 things we most hate in other people are the things we’re most struggling to suppress in ourselves because we fear our own and other’s judgement (same for the seven most admired traits) true or debunked by now?
Because I always thought that might be related to closeted gay people being haters to gays, ex-smokers hating on smokers etcetera.
Because why else would anyone spend so much energy on people they’re not interested in for positive relationships?
This was such a nice video, thank you for helping to inform folks ❤ there really isn't enough knowledge out there with the neurotypical croud so they wont understand us very well :(
Aww thank you! You are so kind 🧡
It's amazing how you manage to be so respectful, even when you are read such hateful and absurd comments. You are a good person Mike🙂. Thank you for math you do fore the community!!
You’re the kindest! 😊🧡
This video is brilliant!
Awh thanks Isabella! 🧡
Heh, I'll put myself out there with ya! Great guy, growing channel, deserves success!
I don't understand why people are so obsessed with medical "professionals". It's not like they are magical beings that have a third eye for truth or anything. All they did was learn the same information that is widely available to the public today and (hopefully) interact with some autistic individuals before getting called a professional. I would argue educating yourself on the internet and watching lots of videos about autistic experiences can make you even more of an expert and you might have more up-to-date information as well.
That feel when you are the smartest person in the room!😏 That when it's your doctor's office.😨
"so you can't just be autistic" vs "autistic, so you can't just be" - but with these comments: you just can't 🫠
I'm self diagnosed (and peer reviewed) and don't plan to seek a medical diagnosis. Obviously healthcare in the US sucks but on top of that, there are so many ways in which a diagnosis could limit me as a low(er) support needs autistic and there isn't even much support offered upon diagnosis. Maybe in the future I will decide that I need a medical diagnosis, but for now I am happy to trust my own judgement in this
Some folks eh....
There’s a phrase in the UK’s north. It is, “Nowt as Queer as folk”. It’s exactly the same as you say. Sigh! Thanks for being here. -Mike
@@Autistic_AF Here for the long haul man ❤
Great video topic, thanks for talking about this
@@WoodshedTheory Thanks, Claire! 🧡
I'm amazed with all the "anti-hate" rhetoric these days it still seems to be acceptable to openly hate autism >.>
I" function" quite well in a cafeteria while the behind of me person is talking loudly and im struggling to try to isolate the sound of my friend's voice to pay attention to only him to maintain the conversation while i listen them both or more sounds at the same time I can pretend that it's so easy and nothing is wrong.But is is difficult.That difficulty is the autism .Thank It's really simple but if people are no indide your hear if people dont experience something themself they dont have the capacity to comprehend it.What's the suggestion?. Switch heads for a day? If that would be possible!
re the argument that being 'high functioning' means you're not Autistic or have cured your Autism: - if you have type 2 diabetes and keep your blood sugar controlled by diet, does that mean you don't have diabetes any more and don't need to watch what you eat? Of course not. If you're long-sighted and need glasses to read, does having those glasses and now being able to read, mean that you are not long-sighted any more? Of course not. The argument is just idiotic.
Your sensitive, astute and intelligent observations rarely resonate with lesser individuals; calls to mind the phrase casting pearls before swine.
I wish I had your ears. For better hearing. Am constantly cupping mine for better audio.
😄
@@LeslieT. LOL. I'm serious, though. President Obama had some of the best ears I ever envied.
I’m a human bat. 🦇
oh god you sound so much like tom scott that threw me for a loop
@@kaderen8461 That’s the first time someone’s said that, but I’m all here for it! Haha. 😝
Many of us didn't grow up rich white male, so we weren't diagnosed until our mid 30s or after. We were autistic the whole time.
Life would have been a little easier if I knew I was autistic at a younger age. (because I knew I'd be discriminated against and bullied my whole life (not just through mid college) and I'd switch career tracks.
Autistic pride sounds better than "awareness" (which sounds like a disease to be aware of). If you can be proud to be gay and have gone through adversity, then so can autistic people who have gone through more than neurotypicals. Hence, the pride.
16:11 which is a disorder in its self, isn’t it? Then something fakes having a “illness” or a “disorder” for attention, and I think some people even fake it and make their kid fake it too so they both get attention.
Great video.
Thank you! ☺️
The term "self-identified" doesn't sound quite right because it implies it's something you can pick and choose, like identifying with a group, rather than a real neurodevelopmental difference
We're just trying to make sense of and understand our lives. Perhaps these people should be looking at and improving themselves rather than dismissing other people's identities, self or otherwise.
I just subscribed, simply on the basis of agreeing pineapple DOES belong on pizza.
🍕 🍍 🧡
5:54 jusding by the question marks that person _may_ be on our side and just using sarcasm
(But I've yet to watch that video so idk)
@@-starrysunrise-2908 I don’t think so - I mean maybe? I tried to give the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you for sharing this video! Handling the inevitable vitriol that comes with opening oneself to the I really appreciate you putting yourself out there to bring clarity and information about neurodiversity. That being said, I accept you for eating pineapple on your pizza, even if I do find it repulsive. 🍍🤣
It’s not only pineapple! But it’s in the top three toppings! 🍕 🍍
@@Autistic_AF My husband and I are mutually disgusted by each other’s pizza toppings. He loves the pineapple/ham and I’m a black olives gal. 😂
I have CPTSD, and borderline personality. I'm beginning to think I could have autism. I have not been diagnosed as such.
Masking. Masking is running the bridge of the USS Defiant by yourself. All power to the shields. Engage cloaking device! Evasive maneuvers!
The decompression process after a day's worth of being a people is never long enough. For example, I would work at Blockbuster till 12:00 a.m. I was expected back at 8:00 a.m. They would never give me two days off in a row. I eventually got burnt out.
I'm thrilled the world is finally acknowledging our struggles. The struggles of a divergent.
My dad doesn't believe in my mental illness. I guess that's easier than acknowledging that he (and others) gave it to me.
Keep the faith. There are those out there that will see you. I have a wonderful support system.
That's a great analogy. It feels like running a bridge, solo. Like 'inside out' but alone. Thanks for being here - great comment. -Mike
I relate. I was given bpd diagnosis as adult. No help offered and much wrong with said diagnosis.
I have had problems since birth.
Infants school teachers noticed and recommended that my parents take me to child psycology. Nothing changed for me as I've just discovered my parents kept removing me from the psychology.
Life is painful and I sometimes attempt suicide.
i think it's ok to say that pineapple doesn't belong on pizza. Hawaiian pizza lovers aren't marginalised and it would be more of an expression of how strongly i dislike the combination rather than about policing others' tastes. I feel like it's kinda like how some people say that socks and sandals don't go together, but when you wear them, no one Actually cares.
I am studying to be a dietitian and I am doing my internship in a psychiatric hospital, today I saw a young man with low functioning autism.... it is only when you see someone like him is that you really understand the difference between high and low functioning, or level 3 of support, as we use here in Brazil. He doesn't talk, he screams most part of the time, he has to wear diapers, because he cannot go to the bathroom on his own and he needs a metal spoon, because otherwise he breaks the plastic spoon with his teeth, cause he can't control the strength of his jaw (in psychiatric hospitals they only get plastic utensils). So I think we need to stop romanticizing autism a bit. if it is a spectrum, it is because there is a scale that goes both ends. Yes, there is such a thing as low functioning and he is it. It was a bit weird seeing him at the low functioning end and me at the high functioning... High functioning autistic people need to understand that there are people like Jeferson and it is not fun. Autism is not just having a different way of thinking or brain wiring, it can also be debilitating. He is extremely aggressive and he doesn't even walk, so yeah, low function is a real problem.
As an autistic person I agree with almost everything in this video, but pineapple on pizza just goes too far.
Noooooooo pineapple on pizza is amazing! 🍕🍍
Beautiful sweater.
Thank you ☺️
I am sorry that those pathetic haters write those comments to you.
They are so childish and dumb.
I have been stalked and bullyied and also attacked physically that I ended with multiple breaks in foot only because those haters assume lots of things that are even not true. Because there are here in this area lots of people who spread lies and untrue rumours. Some people believe all the lies and take violent action. I am not sure if I live tomorrow because of those criminals.
The police does victim blaming. Maybe the police is corrupt, I don't get it.
Oh I’m sorry, Rita. Is moving an option for you? 🧡
@@Autistic_AF I surely would like to move to another town if I will have chance. This is so scary. Thank you for your great videos.
Now I have decided to speak once again with the police because this stalking is actually getting worse. It is the job of the police to do research. They will need to do their job.
I am not giving up. Never. 🍀
Haters gonna hate 😎
A funny thing is that Overdiagnosis can exist at the same time as Underdiagnosis and both can be widespread.
Yet another distribution problem for the 🌍🌎🌏🌐🗺️
😅 But I prefer my pizza without pineapple.
I don't understand trolls.
The "you can mask, you don't need a diagnosis"... so if someone is severally depressed and pretending to be happy in front of others, that's okay because they look happy to you? They don't a diagnosis of depression or help for it?
I don't understand people...
Anything you do in life you ll have haters Dont take anything personally They acusse you for the same disempathy they demostrate to you .
4:06 The thing is, something can be medically relevant, and medically identifiable, without needing to be cured. I have no problem with autism being medicalized; the pathway to cheap and readily available formal diagnosis almost certainly lies in identifying biomarkers of autism.
If person thinks they are autistic, gets a diagnosis that they aren't that is a good thing. It's check one thing they are not off and they can find out what's really the issue at hand. Could be other neurological development disorders or something else that has different treatments. If gets a person into see professionals that's good thing. Only caveat is misdiagnosis lke women typically. "You can't be autistic, you woman and married with kids".
To be fair... a doctor does diagnose us as male and female 😄
Not intended to mean ANYTHING, just making a joke because it hit me as funny when this subject rolled on lol
Functioning labels are just an excuse for some professionals to play favourites.
15:36 should we tell them about special interests?