East Asians' Obsession with Skinniness
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- today we talk about the toxic body standards of east asia... from kpop diets, to clothing sizing, to body trends... oof -_-
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They always tell you straight to your face that you are fat but then in the same breath keep asking if you've ate and pile more food on your plate when you say you're done.
THIS OMG!!!
The sad thing is this happened to me just 2 weeks ago during a family dinner. My mother and uncle called me fat and then proceeded to pile up my plate with food saying that I should eat more since I was bigger than them.
EXACTLY LIKE DONT SAY MY ASS IS GIANT THEN GO “is that all your eating?” LIKE STFUSTFUSTFUSRFUSTFU
Even worse when they cook Asian cuisine in the unhealthiest way possible, adding tons of oil and almost no protein. Asian beauty standards are built on the most superficial methods possible, not encouraging healthy diets but rather starving and mutilating yourself. 😭
They get a kick out of fat shaming. That’s why they ensure you don’t lose weight by overfeeding you so they can continue to feel superior.
‘Moo-Moo’ as the name for a plus size store is absolutely diabolical 💀
If you think Moo Moo means Cow Cow, you're wrong. In Thai, it means Pig Pig 😘
@@BitcoinLadyBoyin the phillipines it means ghost
Ghost buster @@venomsn4kee
man I'm crying😭
@@BitcoinLadyBoyum yk that not everyone can control it? some people are just born like that no matter what they do they could still be healthy
The thing with Kpop and skinniness that always stuck with me is an interview AleXa did where she talks about being on Produce 101 and her management tried to force her to go on a diet. She refused so they made her go to the doctor and get a body assessment as a way to pressure her into going on a diet. She had 17% body fat and that was the only thing that made them get off her back about it. And she talked about having to sneak other contestants food because their companies wouldn't let them eat. I think a lot of the starving culture there has much more to do with controlling them than it has to do with what they look like tbh but it's still so sick. (Edited to correct body fat percentage, misremembered it as the difference between her bfp and the minimum).
At 2% body fat she would be dead.
10-12% body fat is the minimum essential body fat for women (3-5% for men), so either they were exaggerating or she was half dead. You start losing your period and hair starts falling out for women as you dip below 12. Still, I agree with you. This fat obsession is about controlling women and keeping them "small" more than it is about aesthetics.
notice how none of these crazy k pop stories have literally any sources to prove they even happened.. 2% body fat is literally not even humanly possible.
She didn't have 2% body fat, you are just a gullible child who believed a celebrity, which you should never do.
@@ravenkushner I just misremembered the number lol I watched the interview five years ago my bad. The difference between her bfp and the min was 2% (so she was at 17 and the min is 15 according to what she said).
i remember a japanese girl saying she'd never be thin bc she played volleyball. so essentially her muscles made her look "fat" bc anything other than skin and bone is fat lol
Goes to show that thin beauty standards among women are heavily rooted in sexism, as it implies that a woman being heavier and larger due to being muscular and strong is unacceptable. Meanwhile, daintiness and weakness and working out to become underweight, not to get stronger, is encouraged. It should be noted that building and maintaining muscle mass is quite difficult if your body fat percentage is too low, so the demonization of fat inherently leads to many women becoming undermuscled. When I was in the thick of my ED, absolutely nothing was more demoralizing than excessively exercising and feeling myself grow weaker instead of stronger during my workouts. It's what ultimately lead me to recover.
@@breadcrumbs3530 Um, ok so I'm assuming you're a guy since you mentioned having ED. If that's the case, why were you getting weaker from working out? The ideal male physique is lean and muscular, not skinny. You should have been hitting the gym hard along with a finely tuned meal plan that contained the right amount of protein to bulk you up while staying lean.
And sorry, but your cry of "sexism" is way off base. The ideal female physique is thin, toned and athletic, not weak and malnourished. I don't know where you're getting your information, but everything you said is off base. And this is coming from a guy who's been a gym rat for nearly 15 years.
@@fuzzypanda1684 the comment you are replying to is exactly correct. Women’s beauty standards have varied over time obviously, but it is during times of women’s independence that true malnourishment became the dominant form of beauty in mass media. Also I don’t know why you got the idea that the commenter is a man when women overwhelmingly take up the majority of people with eating disorders.
@@fuzzypanda1684 I am a woman, not a man. Given how many female models and idols have BMI’s that would be considered underweight and how many of them have confessed to having eating disorders in order to maintain their smaller size, I absolutely maintain that unhealthily thin is still a female beauty standard. Also, the athletic and “toned” female body standard still requires a low body fat percentage, often unrealistically so. Most women cannot safely achieve well defined six pack abs unless they have an unhealthily low body fat percentage. This occured during my ED; I was slightly undermuscled but not by much (I somehow naturally hold on to muscle pretty well without being strong) and I actually looked fairly toned with well defined abs and muscles. The issue was that I was underfat (I could tell because I had lost my period, which only happens for low body fat percentages).
@@breadcrumbs3530I’m a woman who had restrictive ed and you’re not wrong. A lot of people with restrictive ed will try to “purge” calories by excessively working out. Very much calories in calories out model - what muscle they do have looks so weird due to the low body fat. Also skinny fat is a thing, that was me - and it’s not attractive. I know many models who have to work out WITH WEIGHTS to maintain muscle because it also helps with poses (think of weird fashion shoots for like a dress or something and the cost is your home). Pretty sure if you start to lose that and begin to look…. Weird….. like sickly (that was the 90’s) you will get fired due to legal rules that varies from country to country.
Nutrition is a fascination of mine and people with a uterus just require a bit more body fat percentage. I blame the hormones and you should too 😭😭
Bruh I’m Japanese American and growing up my parents and grandparents would call me chubby/fatso. And then when I lost weight they were like “you’re too skinny!” And would complain that I didn’t eat enough. You literally can’t win.
I just got through telling a guy on another comment like this, that they look like they want to bully ppl, because they pick on them either way.
My mom says something ridiculous like… your body looks really good but you look better with more fat on your face. So… how am I supposed to only gain fat on my face? You seriously can’t win.
This is exactly why all my cousins and I developed some forms of eating disorder to varying degrees, outright toxic stuff.
It took me moving to Europe, cutting off contact, and years of therapy to finally heal from all the traumas. Now I love and cherish myself, I no longer fuss over my diet, I simply eat healthy and exercise regularly. Our parents and relatives have never taken interest in us as real human beings with facets and dimensions, rather just fixating on our weight to always have something to pick on. I think deep down, despite their worldly success, they actually feel insecure and unfulfilled, not knowing why they feel how they feel, they resorted to projecting their negative emotions onto helpless children, so to distract themselves from facing and addressing their own internal problems.
@lilypadkayaker A lot of demonic people are taking it out on the children, you have people who literally think a child should be aborted because they were graped and when I told them to look at the man that did it, they said the justice system support the man so they want to sacrifice the child to the devil instead. We have a wicked generation who is harming innocent kids. Every time I come on here, another child has been harmed by these wicked adults who shouldn't have these kids in the first place.
@lilypadkayaker We have a wicked generation indeed who loves taking it out on the kids. You have people who literally thinks a child should be ab0rted, because they were graped and when I tell them to look at the man that did it to them, they say the justice system supports the man, so they take it out on the child instead. We have a wicked generation that shouldn't have these kids in the first place. Every time I come on here, another child has been harmed.
megan thee stallion has SERIOUSLY helped me learn to love my body when she came onto the scene. as another tall girl that isnt petite its hard to find role models in the media i consume
Duh, you can’t be petite and tall at the same time ?? Petite means short
@@autvmnr0yshe said ISNT petite. Reading comprehension
@@autvmnr0ypetite means small..
@@icecreamsundd Yes in French it means small.. But in the appearance aspect Petite means short.. get ur facts checked babeeee.. yikessss..
@@Dvgteeth she said “as a tall girl that isn’t petite” which is so dumb because it’s like saying “as a tall girl that isn’t short” like, you already said you were short, idiot 😂😂😂😂😂
oml let me tell you, chinese social media is absolutely RUTHLESS with body image. Although it is getting better, and a lot of girls are promoting body positivity, but the majority of netizens will GO TO TOWN on someone who is not stick thin (and god forbid overweight), especially if they are an idol. You;ll often see people asking each other for their weight and height online if they see a skinny girl to try and replicate that body type. My own family commented on my body, pointing out that I gained weight and that my clothes barely fit me WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH PUBERTY, which ultimately set off my years of ED. Asian obession with skinniness needs to stop. It's so incredibly damaging to young kids who are especially self-conscious.
especially on REDnote(chinese insta) the people their overpraise unrealistic waist sizes and skinny legs thay could pass as bread sticks its absurd
Heavily agree with this. These beauty standards needs to stop. It does more harm rather than it is empowering anyone. The beauty standards in whole Asia are basically the east asia beauty standards. Most women in my country are fighting to fit into society by following these beauty standards. Trying to whitening their skin, having big doe eyes and soft pink lips. In the end everyone would look the same without any authenticity and uniqueness. The ancestry features are getting ridiculed almost all the time.
Heavily disagree with this. These beauty standards needs to continue. It does more good rather than it is depowering anyone. The beauty standards in whole Asia are basically the west asia beauty standards. Most men in your country are fighting to stand out in society by going against these beauty standards. Trying to darkening their skin, having small buck eyes and hard indigo lips. In the beginning everyone would look different with only authenticity and uniqueness. The ancestry features are getting celebrated almost all the time.
@@justapickedminfan you literally copy my comment then twist it into the opposite of what I said 😭😭
@@alishairdina413 Do you have any proof to back up your accusation?
Oh, the irony of force feeding all your family and friends whenever you see them, but then turning around and fat shaming them if they gain a pound.
My German grandma was the same. Always telling me I get fat when I was like 10 years old but being completely pissed if I then said no to a second piece of her cake "so you don't like it? Am I such a bad cook?" She was otherwise a lovely person.
There seems to be a lot of cultures that have this "passive aggressive" relationship with food.
My Jewish family does it, too.
As does my Dutch stepfather... I don't track anymore but it's hard to miss the fact he's upset I won't eat 4000kcal in one sitting. They either fat shame or skinny shame, there's no sweet spot my parents agree with. As a kid I was literally forcefed into morbid obesity. Not allowed to leave unless I finished my plate. From a young age on I avoided every meal I could, to compensate for those I couldn't. Going days without food if they were busy.
So many people view food so odd...
Mexican women fr
For me it’s the opposite. When I went through puberty my appetite increased and my parents constantly made hurtful remarks about my body and every time I ate anything because I was nearly 60kgs. Literally couldn’t eat anything without their disgusted looks or judgemental “subtle” remarks. Now that I’m a good couple years past puberty and naturally lost 10 kgs, all of a sudden they say I’m “skin and bones”, that my face is too thin now, that skinny women aren’t attractive (as if I give a sh*t) and my dad is constantly trying to make me eat more even though my appetite is small.
Thankfully I didn’t listen to them back then and that won’t ever change. I know I’m at a healthy weight for my short size and wether my body looks attractive should be none of their business anyways.
I studied Chinese in China for a year, and our textbook had a chapter about losing weight, in which we learned such totally normal phrases as "If you want to lose weight, don't eat food, just drink lots of water." My classmates were mostly Japanese and Korean and none of them seemed the slightest bit surprised by it.
I mean, America could use a bit of that chapter
@@AJ-iu6nwgurl wat
@@AJ-iu6nw Even tho America has an obesity problem, starving yourself is not the solution...
@ spoken like a true American
@@AJ-iu6nw ana does kill, lol. If you starve you die. They're telling people to die.
no way!! i just passed a year in recovery from anorexia so my favorite youtuber talking about this topic really (unexpectedly) comforted me :) thank you emily!!! c:
yayyyy im so glad you're doing better pooks
proud of u ❤
@@Js4ytmusic awww tysm!!
@@icycrowns tysm, it means the world to me🫶🏻❤️
@@alliedefender ofcccc
It’s crazy to think in east Asia to buy large clothes (that isn’t even size large compared to other countries) you need to walk into a shop called “moo” or “fatty pig clothes store”
And the fact that using that kind of language is so normalised , especially distant family using it it a conversation starter when you’ve never even met .
no but when my dad was ordering clothes from taiwan, the measurements compared to u.s measurements are literally small af .. like i hate how the beauty standards in east asia are so strict to the point you can’t wear clothes bigger than a certain size 💔
@@faerietea00 i shop from chinese and korean brands a lot because i like the style a lot more, when i get to try them on i feel like ive been called an obese pig lmfao. like are these clothes made for 25kg women?? im a size s/xs in australia
The store is in Thailand, they can’t speak English and they are endearing terms, the store clerks themselves are usually plus sized women.
I would find it a little funny if I told my friends I bought clothing at a store called [Insert fat insult here]. This is only because I live in the US and fit in size ranges XXS-M, or 00-4, depending on the brand and clothing piece.
Again, that's only with myself, not people in general. I do still think the body expectations are INSANE in those countries.
By "normalised" do you mean "normal"?
I dealt with EDs through my teenage years, and when I finally felt somewhat recovered, I went to live in Japan. I was in my healthy weight according to my dietitian and in Japan I was XL, and only some stores had anything that fit me. It was so depressing I actually fell on my ED again. I started writing down everything I ate and, years after, I found my "records", and in one of those, all I ate in a day was one (1) boiled egg. I'm doing somewhat better now but good God, those years in Japan were surely something...
I’m sorry to hear that, I hope your health is better now and it is super difficult to recover from ED’s, I wish you the best ❤
Girl I get that. It makes no sense and yet we're so conditioned and primed for shame that it somehow still gets us. I'm pretty underweight and, especially as I get older, it's not a good look and I have never been happy like this. Yet when I buy Asian clothes and realize I'd be a "large" in a particular item, I literally start wondering if I'm actually overweight and just delusional. The logic is just not as loud as negative chatter from myself which is all just parroted from society.
I hate these made-up standards but they're just so much more invasive than reality.
You're absolutely gorgeous and I'm so sorry to hear that all this loud, meaningless noise hurt you. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful. Japan has been my dream destination for 30+ years and the thought of getting to live there and then being caught in an internal nightmare is so heartbreaking. I'm glad you can look back at your journal with a healthy perspective. I hope you never have to feel like that again 💜
@@LunarEleven you’re so beautiful! I’m sorry for what you went through. Society is crazy 😭
I had anorexia when I was pretty young, and being a big anime fan, I think the standards in Japan also messed me up a lot too. I remember thinking 100 pounds was the ideal weight I needed to be at, and that I should be able to walk around without my thighs touching. When my doctors forced me to go on a diet to get to my ideal weight, I literally had a panic attack because it was two dozen pounds off
this is a prominent issue allll over asia , even in southern areas too
As someone who's from both south and east asia...
I got beauty standards thrown at me left, right and center. I'm so happy that I live in Canada.
agree! i've found it's a lot less prominent online as far as i'm aware, like as a filipino i hear more fatshaming integrated into regular conversation to my face than online, but seeing a lot of the stuff that comes from east asia is a lot more shameless in my opinion like what emily said 😅
@@AirTheHuntressthere’s no such thing as “South Asia”
@@WastedBananasAre you stupid?
@@WastedBananasgirly what
I will never forgive people who ripped apart ive's liz at the ripe age of 17 for looking LITERALLY healthy and having slightly chubbier cheeks and then started biasing and complimenting her after she lost a considerable amount of weight
The same people absolutely eviscerated Wonyoung for being too slender, nevermind that the kpop industry is notorious for bullying their idols into submission with regards to their looks. The people that infuriated me the most were the ones claiming they were just worried about Wonyoung or Liz's health and yet if either of them truly had eating disorders or health issues then the absolute last thing that could help would be people being absolutely nasty towards them about their appearances.
@@Yamainthejar for real like knets literally piss me off so much these girls are singers not models they don't need to be under so much criticisim for their weight
THIS!!!! I literally remember IVE’s After Like era as such a horrible time because of all the disgusting Liz slander and hate I’d see. It was the first time I ever saw people visibly post and say these things like nothing and was just astonished at seeing all that
Plus having chubbier cheeks lessen the chances of wrinkles when older.its normal to have buccal fat. Its like people can't have natural features anymore the fact that these kpop ifols are so you and are exoected to not have acne really says a lot to.
@@Yamainthejarbig difference between a corpse and skinny but apparently some of you can't tell.
Something that’s been driving me crazy here in mainland Japan is how prevalent bulimia is-recovered after a 15-year battle. I know what it looks like when you flush three times, it’s still in the bottom of the toilet, and you give up leaving it. I know what it smells like on your breath. You can hear it over the privacy sounds the toilets play. It’s an epidemic, and nothing is being done about it. I know the damage it does to your muscles and veins when you’re old. The enamel erosion. My husband is in medicine, and I’ve been pointing it out to him. He is in shock. These women are not naturally thin. They are abnormally thin.
oh god thats horrifying :(
😨
I don't get it in Japan. Like a lot of them wear baggy clothes or stack multiple clothes so why do they have to lose that much weight?!
They will be like ,,my arms are so fat!" Girl! You never show your arms anyways so why are you trying to lose weight?!
@foggyfrogy People with ED think that you can only look good in loose clothing if you're skinny. I've seen so many people say that layers won't hide your weight, so you've got to be thin
@@VALESTARRT this sound like a paradox but I guess ED is very paradoxical in itself
I always love the sassy pronounciations. It's not "obsession", its ✨️obsésceonne✨️
its how french people say it
No way, i didnt know people like you existed outside of reddit. Congrats
@@spiderman23231 sorry
@@spiderman23231 wdym
@spiderman23231 is the you in reference to me or the guy talking abt french people? In either case I don't even use reddit so nice
the a4 paper thing is so crazy… like if i was a dead rotted skeleton my ribcage would still not be smaller than a sheet of paper bffr
I was once given the honor of cleaning up an articulated human skeleton (seen in medical classrooms). She was 4’11”. Her ribcage would not be covered by an A4. If anyone reading is upset they don’t fit behind paper - humans aren’t built with that trick in mind. Your own structure is beautiful, you look great. ❤
@@avery581 thanks, I for a sec thought that was doable but I guess the people in the videos had body filters on? I‘m glad that at least on TH-cam bodyfilters aren‘t so widespread so I didn’t think of them first
@@blue-uv4mhit may be possible but it entirely depends on how ur build basically. And its really just something they made up as a ”beaty standard” so I just think of it as stupid really.
@@blue-uv4mh I think it could also be quite easy to trick depending on camera angles/where you hold the paper. I could 'fit' behind an A4 paper - if I held it about a foot in front of me with the camera placed a certain way
@@roseinan I‘m unsure… I‘m very slender to the point of that I got accused of being anorexic in the past (I‘m not and never was) and even I don‘t think I could pull that off… It’s probably only doable if one is not only very slim but also very short
ive been a fan of kpop for over a decade but slowly over time the body shaming and misogyny has been turning me off. I was hoping to see some positive change over time but i think the standards and pressure have just intensified.
Its so clear that a kpop idols worth as a human, as measured by kpop and korean society, is almost 1:1 correlated with their visuals.
Same. I used to be a big fan of kpop but over the years fell out of it quite a lot because of these issues. I think the main push for me to just not consume kpop content anymore outside of listening to music is the treatment of that one Twice member (i forgot her name I'm so sorrry) after her weight gain. I also thought that the issues of body shaming and misogyny would go down but it seems worse. It also probably doesn't help that beauty standards in the U.S are going back to early 2000s ultra skinny body ideals. So, you have more international fans becoming ok and accepting of the body shaming in kpop.
The way Chinese actresses make Korean idols’ physiques look average-healthy is terrifying.
I live in the US, grew up overweight, and am still overweight, but I'm in the process of getting to a healthy weight and being healthier in general. I've been doing so much better ever since I moved out of my parents house. It's crazy how NOT constantly being reminded of my weight by the people who RAISED me like that (and who are also far unhealthier than me, no less) contributed so much to my betterment. If you care about the health of someone, you don't get through to them by telling them they are fat, and if anything that just makes things worse!
congrats on moving out, I'm sure your parents are lovely 90% of the time but that sounds so emotionally damaging (it has been for me, growing up with my fatphobic dad). I hope your health journey goes great both physically AND mentally
THIS 😭
I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH!!
I understand what you mean. I lost a lot of weight in a Western European country where people did not give a fuck about my weight and treated me as a person, not in my home country where people (especially men) went out of my way to degrade me for not meeting their bs body standards. Bsers bitching and screeching at me about their bs is a sure way to make me do the opposite of what they want.
Thisss I dropped 20lbs just from not stress eating in secret all the time anymore. Like I’m still overweight and still struggle with stress eating occasionally bc unfortunately my parents aren’t my only source of stress but like the lack of my parents hovering over me reminding me constantly of every single flaw I had had *signifigant* impact on my weight
I (a man) recently gained some weight. I work in an office. I already noticed people treating me differently and telling me how I should slim down. BRO I LIKE MYSELF LIKE THIS LEAVE ME ALONE
Literally say: “interesting that you felt it was appropriate to verbalize that!”
And people forget that as we get older our bodies can change so drastically and losing weight becomes even harder.
bring that to hr or something! thats not professional at all :(
on another note, im glad you are comfortable with how you look, and hope you dont take their insensitive comments to heart
FUCK them dude. I bet you look great. If you're content like this and it doesn't pose any threat to your health/any discomfort who tf cares
Oh please men do not face those comments at all. Liar.
I think you make a really good point about the language used in skinny-shaming vs fat-shaming. They are both toxic and awful things, but "skinny privilege" is the fact that skinny-shaming almost never devalues the person's right to exist or take up space and yet fat-shaming (esp. in the kpop examples) can often involve language that tells the fat person they dont DESERVE to take up the space they are taking up (you don't deserve to be an idol, you shouldn't wear that, you're too fat to be in a yoga class, etc.).
Think about it y'all.
Extremely valid and good point!!!
I mean my mom forced me to eat more than I'm supposed to bc I'm underweight, so let's not compare, bc actually if you're underweight there's a lot of stuff that you're not allowed to do bc you don't have energy to do it
@binsooaep I think there's a difference in not having the energy to actually do it, versus not being allowed to do things just because of your size. Fat people still get denied life saving surgeries because of their weight and nothing else.
@@mintdrawsthings47 ik very well actually, I was really underweight to the point I struggled with walking and I kept passing out and even had a heart attack, when you're underweight you're also refused bc the lower your weight is the worse your health if, so again let's not go comparing by saying how one gets refused for smth and the other is not refused when you don't even know if it's true
exactly
I hate how it’s only ever talked about how bad obesity is and the side effect etc. but hardly anyone ever talks about how dangerous being underweight can be and it’s numerous health risks.
It’s even glorified as you said.
Because many more people suffer from being overweight. Even if individually, being underweight is rather unhealthy, population-wise underweight people consist of only a very small fraction - they barely make a dent in the national healthcare budget. Whereas obesity... 1 in 8 people in the world were living with obesity and, in the US, 74% of the population is overweight and 43% is overweight. Compare that 74% to the 1.6% of people who are underweight and you'll realize why people would much rather talk about the obesity problem.
@Orwellian-Purple-Grapes-1984 ? You said 74% of people in the US are overweight and then you said 43% are overweight. Which one is it?
@@goosethemagpie I think they meant 74% overweight and 43% obese.
It's known. Everyone knows that. The problem is the shaming of it. Someone can be overweight and decide to start exercising tomorrow or change their diet, or maybe their bloodpressure and sugar levels are fine and healthy according to their doctor. Now they're eating right but they'd still get bullied just for existing as an overweight person. We need to prioritize self love and compassion for one another. We're taught to hate ourselves and our bodies if we're overweight or not ideal and that creates the reverse problem of anorexia which then gets praised or it can trigger binge eating as a coping mechanism making the situation worse and that's where the far swing of glorifying and denial comes from, just wanting to make themselves feel better when it feels like others want you to hate yourself. Making someone feel bad about themselves ever is the problem and gets more people away from actually being healthy. And also probably the fast and processed food industry. Did you know they put more unhealthy foods in minority neighborhoods because of institutional racism in the food industry?
@@kukuc96regardless that’s like… completely inaccurate?
This is so real. I feel really bad for my friend as she has a ‘friend’ who always says ‘wow you’re so skinny, wish I could be too’ but it’s like… my friend has an ED that she still struggles with. In fact, she used to be overweight but she got bullied so hard by everyone around her to lose weight, so she did by starving. But now, she’s praised for being skinny, although she is most likely more unhealthy now as she regularly skips meals and stuff.
And complimenting her on her skinniness is kinda crazy coming from that ‘friend’ who knows what my friend has been through 🙄
It’s not nice to comment on other people’s bodies, even if you think it’s a compliment. Every time someone makes a comment, even a slight one about her body, I see her face crumble a bit , and I feel so bad.
L friend
@@StarStrixen bro what-
omgg, i had a ‘friend’ who did a similar thing to me when i was going through an ed- they’d point out how my wrists/fingers were bony and quite small and tell me that i needed to eat more (even though that’s just how they are normally, so like… it didn’t even really make sense lol) and that would literally just encourage me.
they’d also just generally say that i’m skinny and they wish they looked like me, which again just made me wanna starve more.
there was a bit more nuance to it though, as they had pretty horrible body image issues (and our whole friend group was kinda going through it mentally). however, i still feel like they could’ve kept the comparisons between us to themselves, as it just made me worse and didn’t help anyone. and also especially since it really did just feel like they were completely undermining everything id been through: they’d be like ‘oh you’re so pretty and skinny i wish i was like you’ even though i STILL thought i was fat and ugly, and was STILL extremely depressed, insecure & suicidal.
anyway im a lot better now; it’s been 3 years since that and i haven’t seen them in a year and a half! i have a much better friend group and am a lot happier with myself. i wish the best for you and your friend :D
that's so sad, please take care of this friend
This is what we mean when we say it’s never about “healthiness” when people fatshame, cause they turn around and praise ppl who are like straight up emaciated
The aunties have the AUDACITY to call you "fat" and tell you that "you shouldn't get offended because I am concerned about your health" but they get offended themselves when you too call them fat. People that comment on people's weight are perfectly aware of what they are doing
As an Asian, I’m just fed up with people trying to glorify malnutrition especially girls in Chinese social media, that’s why I’d rather lift weights to become a muscle mommy when I get older instead of a piece of paper with toothpick legs or whatever tf social media in Pacific Asia expect people like me to look like.
Muscle mommy? Damn
HELL YEAH 👏🏿
@@ConquestM You’ve heard of millennials becoming Pilates princesses by becoming skinny with abs and a 🍑, but that’s too hard as a former fat kid so I’m taking the less tiring route
@@Sophiapuppybarks fair enough
YES I'm on my muscle mommy era bro. I feel so much happier this way!
‘WHERE’S YOUR WAIST’
‘i can’t, i EATED it all’
actually they didn’t eated anything :(
Fr
@@rae___z
I mean, the body is technically eating itself to stay alive at the calorie deficit that these models are going through.
@@100juice9 i know what u mean
skinny is NOT the same as healthy.
i know bmi is not a great system but it's the easiest way to explain how being skinny is actually much more dangerous than being fat.
as someone who used to struggle with severe anorexia, i was at a bmi of ~15-16, which is considered a bit underweight. the difference in health between a bmi of 15 and a bmi of 12 (which was my goal bmi as an anorexic person) is that at a bmi of 15 you'll experience fatigue and some milder symptoms of malnourishment (depends on the person), meanwhile at a bmi of 12 (which is usually around 10-15 pounds less than bmi 15) you are at risk of total organ failure and immediate death.
24 is the highest bmi that is considered "healthy". so a bmi of 25 to a bmi of 28 (again, a difference of 3), the difference in your health is... almost nothing. there isn't an immediate danger when gaining weight like there is when losing weight.
being skinny is not automatically healthier.
i'm in a health class right now. the dangers with anorexia aren't just with your weight; it's with everything that not eating entails, which is a loss of nutrients. being deficient in each nutrient leads to entirely unique diseases and problems. it's one thing that anorexic people don't get carbohydrates to give them sustained energy; it's another thing that things anorexic people often eat for being "low-calorie" like rice cakes don't provide water, vitamins, and minerals, which are things you need to replenish EVERY day because your body cannot store them. vitamin deficiencies can cause some pretty well-known diseases like scurvy, while mineral deficiencies can cause your body's natural systems to struggle and shut down. some nutrients are responsible for the repairing of cells, blood flow, vision, organ function, movement, how your body consumes and stores other nutrients, and things of the like, so of course, people who restrict food intake will suffer symptoms like easily bruising, wounds not healing, excess bleeding (due to your blood being unable to clot; does not combine well with self-harming habits) fatigue, anemia, hair loss, brittle nails, organ failure, weaker immune system, fluctuations in metabolism (not eating or eating very little will cause your metabolism to slow down. what this does is it makes it so your body stores what you DO eat for longer; this is a survival mechanism. your body sees the lack of food intake as a sign that you don't have access to food and that can be an emergency, so your body will save what you eat as fat so it can ration out nutrients for a long time since there is a perceived shortage of sustenance. this is why it's hard to lose weight by starving, and why anorexic people have fluctuating weight. your body specifically takes measures to counter it. this can also lead to sudden death in recovering anorexic patients because once there is a steady food supply your body will quickly start using the stored energy to repair itself, and so if not enough food is provided when your body makes that switch, you might accidentally die. basically your body goes into overdrive and if it runs out of fuel it'll shut down.)
so if you haven't eaten today, please go eat.
Nicely explained!
I had to explain over several comments to a person who defend that you could survive on just water and vitamins. He ended up pretending to be a victim of bullying. Never admitted anything.
Some people are a waste of space.
The BMI explanation really put things into perspective! well said
BMI is a lie. I'm 'overweight' but it doesn't account for muscle. If you can do more than 10 dips, pull-ups, bodyweight bench presses, etc? Don't matter.
@ it's definitely not ideal. When I was struggling with food my BMI was normal but I had all the symptoms of malnutrition. I now know that I am naturally pretty muscular and my body fat must have been pretty low back then. But according to BMI I was healthy... Now my BMI is higher and I am quite lean still because I figured out I built muscle pretty quickly. So yes definitely understand where you are coming from!
idols having their food straight up taken is INSANE
Yeah like how is that not illegal?!
One artist that is definetly very much worth to recommend is a Japanese artist named Chanmina. While she was never fat and in my eyes just average, in Japan she is definetly on the 'chubbier' side. She is very much a feminist and fights for body positivity. She has a huge fanbase and recently even uploaded a music video while being very much pregnant and showing off her body which most probably is very scandalous in japan.
she's so cool i love her 😊
I love her music! She's a great person ♡
Living in japan has done a number on my self esteem. I’m like a normal size in America. Not fat, not skinny but like regular size. But in Japan I feel like a behemoth because I literally can not shop in any shop that is for a person my age or my style sensibility. It’s a constant struggle to remind myself that I am beautiful and loved regardless of not being a “free size” girl.
@@ともこともこ-k3r えー？I don’t know if I understand what you mean?
@@ともこともこ-k3r and to be clear I’m not blaming Japan for anything at all. It’s a different country with different beauty standards. I’m aware of that. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect my psyche from time to time. Being different in a place where you can’t fit in even if you try is tough. Still, I love Japan.
@@ともこともこ-k3r "that's your personal problem" lmao, it's not their fault that Japan doesn't have shops for REGULAR size, how stupid do you have to be to blame them and not recognize that their society is the one that has problems
@@Rando_person22 They're all regular sized in Japan. If you lived in the 60s of the USA, you'd fit into their clothes too. People have just gotten fat.
@@Orwellian-Purple-Grapes-1984not true. People weren't all super skinny then either. They just dressed well for their bodies to fake a good silhouette. High wasted pants and corsets create an illusion of slimness for a normal sized human back then. But nice try.
My grandma always told me the beauty standards in Asia (I'm from South Asia) are in accordance with the men's size lmao. Asian men tend to be smaller so the expectation is that in order to have a clear difference, women have to be significantly smaller than the men. And where I study now in the Netherlands, people have called me (a 5'8, 170lb girl) "small" after having being called an elephant where I grew up. I thought it was a wild theory but my grandma may have been onto something lol
I’ve always thought this
Women expected to starve themselves just to protect men's fragile masculinity. Why don't they eat some eggs and lift weights?
The Netherlands is a very extremely example. They have like the highest avg height in the world or something. Also a lot of other countries/cultures appreciate curves, when their men ain’t tall either.
Well, northern europeans does have among the highest avg height in the world, but more importantly most people have the 'bear' body type that requires at least some fat on the body due to harsh winters.
Of course. My cousin in China thinks the western beauty standard for women is too mannish - according to him, the women look like men. Maybe that's why Hollywood isn't doing so well in China, even if she's an action hero, no man wants a woman to look bigger and more masculine than himself, unless he has a fet ish.
As an East Asian, I’ve picked up on the fact that people know the beauty standards are toxic, but still wanna follow them. When I was younger, I had a really small appetite so I was really thin, and I got heavily shamed for it. Now, I put on some (necessary) weight and I’m still being heavily shamed- just for the opposite reason. You’ll get body shamed either way, do what’s best for you.
Good advice!
@@ともこともこ-k3r healthier physically, no frail and fragile, healthier appearance wise maybe but mentally not healthy. You guys need to be more happier
@@ともこともこ-k3r it depends on whether or not you can achieve it in a healthy way. the beauty standard isn’t just “don’t be fat”, it’s literally “BE EXTREMELY UNDERWEIGHT”. Most people don’t have a super fast metabolism and all that other stuff- if you do, and you can achieve it without taking unhealthy measures, good for you, but most people can’t, so they just end up st@rving themselves and constantly working out so they can fit the beauty standards.
@@ともこともこ-k3rbeing attracted to children like body isnt a flex.
@@ともこともこ-k3r underweight is not healthy
I’m not Asian, but I’ll never forget when I met my great grandmother and she casually said “ah, my fat granddaughter.” I was 11 and she said it in front of the entire family. I was so humiliated. It’s stuck with me all these years later.
one thing i don’t understand is why do people want idols to have these crazy diets and be skinny as hell? like aren’t they supposed to move a lot and have lots of strength??? it just doesn’t make sense it’s insane
They're just selling a dream. In reality none of these idols have crazy diets. They eat healthily in order to be able to do all the tough work.
I feel the same about professional ballerinas and many of them have EDs :(. Idk how they're able to have energy to dance.
The company wants them to adhere to these standards.
@@Orwellian-Purple-Grapes-1984 this isn't true. i've been into kpop since 2011 and i can think of a LOT of cases where idols literally fainted on stage because they're doing such tough work and not eating enough or getting enough sleep. i wish they were all eating healthy but it is simply not the case, a lot of them starve themselves.
You mean... You can't dance for 8 hours on just 4 blocks of ice? How pathetic!!?!??
as someone who has been going to a school in asia (korea specifically) for around 4 1/2 years now, skinniness is so important its crazy. Half the girls almost always comment on their weight, which originally was crazy to me (due to having different build and life view from them), however, it got to me, which made me self conscious the few months after I entered. My friends and I would converse about our weight normally during our swim practices, we would exercise to lose calories we got from eating food. Honestly, I still get comments on my body due to how I dress currently (mostly about how skinny I am and how my clothes accentuate that). Ive gotten tired of it this year, due to not being apart of the beauty standard. Honestly, one my friends doesnt eat in front of her boyfriend so she doesnt look fat, which made me shocked and very confused. I could go on about half the beauty standards in my school and how it affected me, but I wont. Im just glad that Emily made a video about this kind of thing, especially adding onto it with kpop idols (since that affects my school A LOT). Just very thankful. peace and love ya'll
fatshamed for drinking water??? wtf.
W A T E R ?
Man I want to go there and just exist as a 5’10 180 LBS curvy queen who dresses skimpy
please please please tho never try to "exercise to lose calories we got from eating food" cos that will simply just kill you in the end,, its not how that works, take care of yourselves and eat,, i beg
as a boy with two older sisters we had the typical asian family dynamic, my dad beat me up while my mom fatshamed my sisters into getting eating disorders. good times
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your sisters are doing better now. Some parents just don't deserve children and I fear that this is (at least to a certain degree) the case in a lot of families, no matter where they're from...
Whenever a skinny woman complains about/apologizes for how fat she is, I get extremely pissed. Not at the woman, but at the outside forces that have made her feel that way. This is to say nothing of healthy fat women being made to believe that healthy and fat are mutually exclusive. I hope and pray that younger generations are taught to not pay attention to these whims of our BS classist capitalist society, just as I hope and pray that Not Emily plays "Hatoful Boyfriend".
Being a little overweight is fine, but do you really think that you can be genuinely fat (as in obese) and still be healthy? Sure, you might not be dying if you're just a little obese, but you're certainly not healthy. You're hurting yourself being obese and in the long term it definitely is detrimental to your health. There's nothing classist about this, it's just the truth. I think it's harmful and despicable to promote the idea that being obese is not unhealthy. You're not doing anyone a favour with that, you're just trying to find an excuse for people not to put the fork down is what I believe. Some indulgence is fine, but only in moderation.
Edit: typo
shut up lamp no one asked
@@lamp6017i always had that mindset and then i got older and saw my cholesterol and sugar results and nearly freaked out. i still eat junk sometimes but definitely not like i used to. lost 20lbs and my blood results are mostly all back in the normal range again finally. life and our bodies are too precious to abuse. i was still under 200 lbs at my heaviest and was constantly in pain and out of breath. i didn't have the energy to live fully. things are much better now and i see my life as precious and want to care for myself as best i can. it always saddens me to see people doing the opposite.
I think it’s genuinely harmful and despicable to claim under a video shedding light on unhealthy beauty standards and thinness in east Asia that being obsese automatically makes someone unhealthy.
Because that’s not what this is even about. This video is about some of the worst fat shaming and weight losing behavior in the world.
Yes, being overweight can cause health issues. Especially when morbidly obese. But shaming these people isn’t actually gonna make them lose weight like you’re thinking. And to assume that every person making the argument we should actually eat three meals a day is promoting the idea to never stop and eat in moderation is stupid.
But being chubby isn’t unhealthy. You know what is unhealthy? People who only eat an apple and two eggs a day. That’s unhealthy.
What about the girl who only ate ice? Is that somehow healthy too?
You have completely and utterly missed the point of this video to fat shame someone you don’t even know is fat.
“You’re not doing anyone a favour with that, you’re just trying to find an excuse for people to not put the fork down”
Do you have any idea how stupid this is? Like, Any idea? I’m sorry if I’m getting heated but this is just being an asshole.
News flash: Yes, being overweight can cause health issues. telling anyone who’s a size medium in America that they should go to “Moo Moo” to get their clothes also causes health issues. Do you know how many people die from anorexia and eating disorders because they’ve been told or feel as if they are fat?
Too many.
I’d rather a million people be overweight than not eating right and dead.
@@lamp6017health is in what you can do, not how you look.
fat people can do flips and dance on stages for hours and do amazing acrobatic, if u fuel your body and exercise to keep it strong then you’re healthy!
if you see a fat person and think “wow they have no self control” then that’s a you problem, no one owes you their medical history or whatever reason their body looks the way it is, YOU are the weirdo how needs to improve and do better, leave people alone wtf.
Nobody is stating "you are fat" just to state a fact. They do it malicious. Do they ever come and say "you're blonde" or "you have black eyes"? No, they don't. So it's intentional and malicious.
Nah. Here in India whenever I go to my relatives and the first thing they do is state " you have gotten skinnier or taller or healthier" they just say it as a way to acknowledge you. It's not malicious. They just say what they notice and then I do the same lol. It's a cultural thing. Then never tell me to lose weight or gain weight.
Oh they absolutely do it without one ounce of malice. Keep in mind in East Asia (I’m naming this geographic area because I am familiar with it, but from the sound of things apparently south east asian do it as well) have normalized a much lower threshold for “unhealthy weight”. The population has internalized skinny is healthy. My relatives genuinely think me gaining 5 lbs of weight since last year is detrimental to my health, particularly due to my family history of cardiovascular issues. They, from the bottom of their heart, think they are looking out for me when they comment “you are getting a little fat, you need to watch your diet, remember how grandma died from stroke.” For reference I’m 160cm, 53kg, 21% body fat, I work out four times a week, but since I’m over 50kg I am considered overweight by my family.
In China they do, as a foreigner here they say “you have curly hair, you have big eyes, you’re fat, you have white skin” all in the same breath
@@echogao696 My family is from China and they love to mock everyone about their weight and looks, it's super shallow and exhausting. With relatives, it will be to their face as 'it's fair game' but if it's a friend/colleague it will be behind their back. I've never been a doormat so I'd start commenting on my mom's sunspot freckles or grand aunt's silver hairs, shuts them up fast. I'm 5'6" and 130ish pounds so ofc I would weigh more than a petite tiny lady. My mom's the root cause of all my body insecurities especially about my waist not being super tiny and she'd even point out strangers and praise them for their appearanes. I've been bullied for my likes and interests by former classmates, but she is the only one whose repeatedly bashed my looks and made me so uncomfortable in my skin. Just one of many, many reasons I am not close with family. I hate how society thinks being family means being free to be genuinely horrible and classist.
@@RandomSwiftie13I am Malian and that's the same!!
The "skinny legends" are passing first in a famine scenario 😭
That will never happen
@@maryzakaria4667 never say never
@@maryzakaria4667unless we stop using the pesticides that are killing pollinators and do something about the destruction of topsoil by intensive agriculture, it's for sure going to happen, and sooner than you think.
@@squaresteelconsumeris that a threat
@@cateatpasta5990 It's not a threat but it's just being realistic. We didn't think a plague could happen again then here came covid.
strangely enough, my Korean grandmother negatively comments on my cousins being "too skinny" and me, who I've always saw as overweight, as "healthy and pretty." Whenever I tell her how I'm jealous of their bodies, she looks at me like I'm crazy.
In the case of east asia pretty much all these thinness standards were recently imported due to their success in the west as vehicles to sell beauty products.
My grandmother(chinese from russian far east) is also like yours. Whilst my mother is thin obsessed
i wonder if it has something to do with the time period they grew up in. post war korea, if that is when your grandmother grew up, was a difficult time, whereas now food production is commercialized and overabundant, while also being less healthy and more about leisurely convenience than nutrition, and so perhaps that explains the difference in social expectations.
@@killerqueenisbestmanneko8419That’s cope. Home-grown East Asian skinny beauty standards are just as if not more toxic. There’s quite a long history of ppl valuing skinniness throughout Chinese Dynasties.
@@bleepbloopbopFull-figured was also considered beautiful in Chinese dynasties. It's called having variety. 🤷🏻♀️
I also wanna add that the difference between fat phobia and skinny shaming is that fat phobia is more likely to kill you. Like fat people are more likely to be neglected by healthcare workers because every health issue is written as being because they’re fat. Like I’ve heard so many stories of people having their CANCER ignored and being told that if they just lose weight they’ll feel better. In some cases, when they started losing weight because of their illness they were praised for being smaller and “looking healthy” even though they were literally dying.
Plus there was a story of a father that killed his son because he was forcing a literal child to sprint on a treadmill because he saw that his son was gaining weight.
Skinny shaming makes me want to kms but yea ok let's make it a competition
I still remember a few years ago, deep in substance addiction & down at rock bottom, there was a woman at my work who kept telling me how GOOD I looked & asking for weight loss tips. I wasn’t actively trying to lose weight, I just wasn’t eating, because all my money went to dope. I did NOT look good; I looked half dead, like a ghost. But if you’re a ✨skinny legend✨the rest doesn’t matter, just the “skinny” part. I came back from rehab ACTUALLY looking good, healthy & sober, but also 15lbs heavier…so no more compliments🤷🏼♀️
Thank you for saying that like it is! Mfers loooooooove pretending like anorexia and obesity are treated the same by society and that it is tooooootally fine to shame obese people because "both sides get it." Total bs.
Skinny shaming is another form of body shaming between you and the person that shamed you, meanwhile fatphobia is a systemic oppression, a complex societal problem with racist origins that impacts fat people on a socioeconomic level. I wish people could admit this more
Fr. I have been on both sides (underweight due to anorexia/obese due to BED + medication + depression) and the way people treat you when you're fat is just so dehumanizing
As a Korean who dealt with emotional abuses about my looks, I just have one thing to tell people..
You do not have to work toward "deserving" to feel pretty/healthy. You ALREADY deserve to feel good in you, and feel cherished. As you are. Right now. And don't let anyone hijack your effort by stealing credit after they kept ripping you down.
For too many years, I was eroded down into believing I did not even deserve to start feeling better. Sometimes I even wanted to stay unhealthy because I hoped I could be loved as I already was. I wanted that moment where I could say, "See? Even though I'm ugly I can still receive love"
Sad. Nothing got better until I learned in therapy that we must not base our self worth with the ever-shifting standards of others.
As a girl raised in an Asian family, even if I didn't actually live in Asia I've been fatshamed by basically a lot of my close relatives. My grandma often repeats that I have gigantic thighs (she compares them to legs of ham) and thick bone structure "unlike her side of the family who have finer bones". My sister called me a sausage once, and my parents routinely tell me to "control myself" whenever I eat or to do more exercise. I love them so much but this is not helping my self-esteem. It kinda goes the other way too, my uncle skinny-shamed my sister at a family reunion and we used to have this family friend who would sort of bully her into finishing her food until she cried. Umm... yeah safe to say body image issues run rampant here and our mental health and self-esteem isn't doing so good....
It seems like to me that these ppl just want to bully someone, because no matter the weight they still bully ppl.
Tell your grandma her wrinkles need a facelift if she says that to you again. Dish out what you receive and see how they react 😅
You both deserve better. I hope you can have some freedom from them someday.
Nothing like a Not Even Emily video to have on in the background while I fold laundry and tune in to hear the most out of pocket sentences ever uttered in all of mankind
Same❤
Do you guys remember when Britney spears was fat shamed for being like a size 8 after giving birth to two kids at the 2007 VMAs
Speechless...
THE LEBANESE QUEEN HAS POSTED 🎀
Isn’t she Chinese?
Hhhhh. She's not Lebanese 😂
She's lesbian not labnese as long as I know she's from America not Lebanon 😅
@Baby_Bibble yes she is the L in the LGBT Lebanese❤️🙏🏻
Y'all the op was just making a Mean Girls reference😭😭
its scary how far people will go to fit beauty standards. we have raised our expectations as a society to impossible to achieve, yet still tell people they can if they try
The fact that people accomplish said standard indicates that it isn't as impossible as you may wish to believe.
@@benjamindover4337 beauty standards change every time, there's no one that can accomplish being flat then curvy the next time
@@benjamindover4337 Except they don't. The ones you see "achieving" those standards are using camera and pose trickery and filters. If you only look the ideal way when you're viewed through specific poses at specific angles through specific llighting and filters, you haven't "achieved" it at all. Not to mention the fact that a lot of this aesthetic-based nonsense ignores real health metrics and results in looking pretty but being unhealthy. Even the big celebs who are held up as these standards speak out about how mentally and physically unhealthy those looks are, which is why almost none of them bother trying to maintain it when they don't literally have a job that pays them to do it.
@@benjamindover4337 Go and naturally grow an enormous behind and enormous rack with a wasp waste with prominant cheekbones but no body fat and then report here how quickly and easily it was.
When the standards change, I expect you to do the same absolutely naturally as well. It is sooooooo easy after all.
@@benjamindover4337 Surgery is not achievement. It's having money and time to recover lol
Thank you for reminding me that I need to eat again today! I think it’s a blessing that I can’t fit into those extreme clothing styles! Proof that my recovery (while not linear) is still happening!!
Maybe if their parents wouldn't emotionally and verbally abuse their children all the time, calling them "fat,” they wouldn't be like this.
Also people forget that once previously very fat or morbidlly obese people lose weight it still looms like its there due to skin hanging so they may have actually lost so much but people won't even care becauhse of it and it costs sooo much to have the hanging skin removed.
Also awful how kids dieting/ED can stunt growth & jack up their metabolism for life. I *so* want to go back & "real talk" my 12yo self. Great vid!
Real
when i first got into kpop, one of the first things i noticed was how netizens would comment about idols not “managing their health”. obviously they were never actually talking about health, they were talking about skinniness. but i found it so interesting they used “manage health” as a nicer term to body shame idols.
20:22 let’s not forget how badly this also impacts male idols!!!! Jin and Jimin from BTS struggled with being “overweight” and went on extreme diets to be thin, have abs, etc and have come and and talked about how it was mentally damaging
It makes me so sad that these idols are forced to eat so little but work so hard. They have no internal fuel to keep them going, and hearing about them passing out on stage out or during practice is just heartbreaking. People who work out a lot, eat a lot because they are burning so many calories. Working that hard but replenishing nothing is dangerous. But they are considered "replaceable" so the people doing this to them don't care. Its a horrible cycle.
ik, im a BTS fan (because my mom is crazy about them lol) and we were watching the show on disney+ with Jimin and Jungkook and jimin looked so skinny it’s insane!! and people would call him fat.?? its insane
Everyone has abs, they just become visible when you train and increase the muscle size or are so skinny they are visible either way.
Sunghoon from enhypen gained some (healthy( weight and was instantly ridiculed by his face being too round to the point where he lost a lot of weight and hides his face a lot with his hair. Niki is only 18 and talked so openly about basically starving himself. Seonghwa from ateez openly talked about his image issues and his unhealthy dieting, making it a point to atiny to not do that. But earlier this year he mentions dieting again so it seems like he still struggles with it :/ felix from skz in general worries me because he often looks very thin in the face and 'gaunt'.
Yessss, I remember watching the video, of the boys eating, jim was pushing his food around, “acting” like he was eating. You could see he was so sad and hungry. Same with the strays, they make comments on Felix and hy being so thin.
I visited Taiwan recently on a school trip and so many people made comments about me. I am objectively fat, but the only compliments they could make for me was that I was nice and helpful. I was constantly reminded that I am not attractive to people, even across the world. In the US, i’m made fun of for being bigger and internationally, it was backhanded comments.
i really want to travel to different countries, but im SO scared of travelling to east asian countries for this exact reason😭
Ahh as a Taiwanese girl , growing up I have the same experience with yours😢
You'd have a heart attack if you were black. Whewwwwwww
Going to taiwan and getting called elephant legs 😭 i think i was like 13 at the time, 5’5 and 115 pounds
@@shaunathompson1576 WOW. I have no words. “How to give someone an eating disorder 101”
I’m actually getting super scared because I’ve been noticing women’s sizes in America have been getting a LOT smaller recently too. I bought some clothes from hot topic and forever 21 and I even sized up but when I put them on they were about the same size (even smaller) than a skirt I bought from Japan. I’m really concerned because they were XLs and all the shirts looked SO SO tiny like you would have to have no chest to fit. I’m not sure if it’s because of the recent weight loss standards here in America coming back or the fact that more kids are buying adult clothes now, but I’m really concerned reguardless
I think it has more to do with cutting manufacturing prices. which is made worse by the fact, that it all still costs the same or even more than before. smaller sizes = less material to use, therefore less money to pay. It's also why things like hats and gloves are more often sold in one size now.
Are you sure? I think sizes have been getting larger especially kids sizes.
America has a weight issue but it’s not being underweight….
America has a horrible obesity problem
@exactly... as horrible as anor is ...Science as shown one is significantly worse than the other. America could benefit from the asian mindset not the other way around
When she brought up the hate for “plus sized” K-pop members I immediately thought abt the difference in shaming with male and female idols because I’ve noticed the difference between how fan are happy when male artists gain weight while female artists are back to back shamed for how they look
"Wow! You're part Japanese?! So Lucky" dude, I can't marry someone of the same sex in my dad's country but I can marry an ANIME CHARACTER
no exactly what are they thinking 💀💀💀
Naahh ☠️ thats messed up
As a Brazilian, it's so educational to see Asian girls talking about this issue :) keep doing it ❤
I was underweight for a long time due to my anxiety and my friend who has struggled with B.E.D used to constantly comment on my body, even after I finally became the average weight which harmed my self esteem, but I have always tried to remain healthy and secure. I really appreciate this video.
same happened to me, as a child I was chubby and people called me miss piggy lol 😂 I wasn’t bothered by it but once I became very skinny they started calling me a child and not womanly enough. That certainly got on my nerves cause wtf is it?? This or that, make up your mind.
when I was in a hospital, many girls were younger than me (around 9) and they always praised me for being skinny and pale and at the time I was really happy about it but now I think about their ages and I'm just so sad that they thought a sick person was the ideal. When I check all my friend's instagrams, they're using filters to make their skin lighter, thought about this while watching this video.
In the hospital 😭
21:55 Wendy from Red Velvet literally said this once about watching mukbangs making her feel full when she was basically starving herself and I was like girl... please just no
oh no. I know many people with ed who said the same
The skinny praise is so real though. Even when I was actively trying to gain weight, the number of “I wish I was as skinny as you” comments just made it that much harder to feel like it was worth trying to improve. Also the sick pride I still get to this day if I’ve gone a long time without eating - it’s just not something I need strangers reinforcing.
emily is not pregnant but she ALWAYS delivers
HELP LMAO 💀
Hey I commented that like 5 months ago on a different video!
If I have to see this unoriginal bs as the top comment on one more video..💀💀
@@exessen1684 GIRL i didnt think this would get popular 😭😭 i guess someones gotta put it on every vid 😍😍
This joke is so dead omfg
I find it interesting that some cultures view restrictive EDs as having discipline and control. When I had a restrictive ED it definitely started as a way for me to control something in my life, but it very quickly spiraled into something that I had no control over. When I was in the depths of restricting was truly when I felt like I had the least control and the weakest willpower. In this day, choosing to eat and fuel your body when beauty norms say otherwise is really the most disciplined and in-control that you can be
Beauty Standards here in Asia is very toxic.. Someone I know got severely bullied by being a bit chubby and brownish.. Another friend of mine always wanted to wear a very tight belt at the waist to force a hour glass figure..
Thank you for saying "fat legends", I feel kind of weird about the INSISTENCE of people to just call me "plus size" "curvy" or worse "goddess sized". Like, omg, I'm fat...it is ok. It is ok to say fat. We all have fat. I would literally rather have to go into a store called "Moo Cow Fat Girl Oink Oink" that go into a store that called me "Curvy Goddess Moon", it feels weirdly condescending and it makes it seem like "fat" is a bad word.
BAHAQHHA SORRY CURVY GODDESS MOON MADE ME LAUGH
@user-bb3oe6wg5j lol, I swear that I have seen things like "sized for a queen" like ma'am.... I'm not a bed, I don't need queen sized. "Full figured" meh, "Diva sized"?? What? Diva?? Telling me my body could compete with Mariah Carey's persona is a hilarious way to try and compliment me, like why???
I know how "fat" is a word that just exists as a body type but growing up Southeast Asian, society really made that word ring as insulting as calling someone a "fag".
I'm not fat by any means and I wish to unlearn all this stigma for years now
Well some of us actually are curvy and not fat but I get it
Moomoo fat girl oink oink fucking made me howl 💀
emily i actually love you so much for the constant content warnings, i don’t struggle with eds but some topics are super triggering for me (specifically sa) and i hate when ppl talk abt it without warnings
when i was in japan and went to shibuya 109, i found a store with rlly cute dresses that I loved so i started to browse. the associate working there saw me, walked up to me, looked me up and down, and very kindly said, "we carry only one size."
i am a size 2 US. she was letting me know that i was too fat to fit the clothes in her store 🤣 so yeah, body standards go crazy there.
If a size 2 is fat, then the rest of us are whole-ass planets.
I vote for being Neptune😅@@clairexuan5130
No matter your weight or size, being healthy and happy should be all that matters
That's the best, cutest comment here I
But the weight matters when it comes to health. I don't understand your point 😅
@@afdm2107Just saying some people are naturally large. Sometimes they can’t get rid of that “extra” weight even though they’re already healthy. Same thing with some who are skinny
I cannot agree with you more with this topic. I grew up as a plus-size child in south-east asia and had more body hair than others because of genetics. I suffered a lot of self-comparing and depression because every girl around me looked nothing like me or had the same experiences as me. My grandma, were mainly the source of my trauma, my main memories of her as she raised me is when she scolded me for being too "fat" and she got angry at me when the "Large" sizes when they are literally small in america. I lost weight and I did notice so many people called me more beautiful which shows how much people in certain places of asia care about beauty standards. I now have a healthier mindset that to love myself and take care of myself without starving myself for beauty because I know every body is different.
the fact that those idols go through this even before they hit 20s :((
It's worth mentioning that Twice's Jeongyeon's weight gain was due to being on steroid medications following a spinal disc herniation and subsequent surgery. I've been on steroids for an extended time before due to a swelling behind my eyes causing exophthalmos, and it wreaked havok on my weight and mood. I can only imagine what she was going through, I'm certain she was working as hard as ever staying skinny during that time. The fact that she was shamed and continues to be shamed about it is absolutely foul and disgusting. We should want our idols to be healthy, not skinny. They're not synonymous whatsoever.
this!!!!!!! i also think its such an interesting point to what emily was saying about how restriction is glorified. a lot of the shaming towards jeongyeon seemed to be implying (if not directly saying) that her weight gain/fluctuation was because of a lack of "self control". it felt like there was absolutely no sympathy towards the fact that she went through major surgery and was taking medication that wasnt just effecting her weight (not that anyone needs to explain any change to their body EVER). i remember seeing them in concert in 2022 and how nervous and timid she seemed when the camera was on her sometimes, i cant even imagine how she must have felt, having what seems like the whole world looking at your body and judging your worth based on something out of your control.
This video was really well done. I am a fat woman who actually lived in China as a young child. I absolutely loved it, but in this day and age, I genuinely don’t think I’d go back, and the shock of my weight being so unacceptable in that context is a big reason.
I struggled with anorexia through most of my twenties, oftentimes eating nothing or next to nothing, and exercising in extremis, exacerbating a joint problem which turned out to be arthritis, which has made me into someone who isn’t even fully mobile anymore by age 30. I started using an injectable weight loss medication, and it caused me such severe stomach complications that I can barely eat food even five years later. Even with all my struggling, and all my self control, the best I could get to was ‘kinda chubby’, and I wrecked my metabolism and damaged my already fragile joints irreparably to do it. All chasing a goal of aesthetics, more or less.
The truth is some people just can’t look the same as the mainstream ideal. Does that mean we have to glorify fatness? Nope. I do wish I could be a healthy medium weight even now. But at the same time, I think there should be more honest conversations like the one in this video about how the obsession with skinniness isn’t actually coming from a place of goodwill and a desire to promote health either.
Good job on the video, and I think your skits were hilarious. I appreciate the care you took to clarify your position throughout, though, I didn’t find anything you said offensive or insensitive.
Loving your enraged responses to the body shaming. “Why don’t you shit in a bowl and eat it.” God bless, I’m using that one
WAKE UP EVERYONE
OMG YOU
IM UP 🔥🔥
I HAVE AWAKENED!!!
IM AWAKE
BABE IM AWAKE WHAT IS IT
My mom would always hate having to travel to Japan for work. Just for the fact that the food was so lacking. Nothing against Japanese food but my mom hated how small all of the portions were, small amounts of vegetables etc.. she came home once so frustrated and said “everyone is so malnourished! And that’s normal!” She would have no energy; my mom also eats very healthy and is a healthy weight.
My aunt is have Japanese and moved there and married a Japanese man and she’s become so sickly thin since being there. She was always skinny before and somehow she’s lost more weight.
It’s so interesting to see how accepted it is there. When I went for my aunts wedding I was so hungry; but I was in high school and didn’t really think about it much haha. But boy was a fat giant walking around in Tokyo! lol
The small portions might have something to do with the fact that Japanese people tend to be short on average, meaning that they require less calories per day.
On average, Japanese women are only around 5’2”/158 cm to 5’3”/160 cm; Japanese men aren’t very tall on average either, as they average at around 5’7”/170 cm to 5’8”/173 cm.
I’m a woman who’s only 5’3.5”, so short in western countries, but average in Asia. Because I’m short, my maintenance is only around 1,400 calories per day-that’s not a lot. I either have to eat tiny portion sizes or skip meals and take dietary supplements if I want to maintain my weight.
it is beyond absurd clothing stores just casually making the sizes ridiculously smaller (and only women clothes? tf). that really makes these standards even worse. it got me thinking though, will this force people to learn how to tailor?
Letting clothing out is usually not possible because you can't just add more fabric. Clothes used to be made with larger margins so they could be taken out or in as needed, but now the excess has been trimmed away for higher profit, and home tailors can no longer let clothes out. Making larger clothes smaller, by contrast, is quite easy. Making your own clothing from scratch is unintuitively quite expensive, because the fabric you can buy is priced higher than the fabric the factories buy.
@@Ella-g2myou can add more fabric it just would look different. Maybe they should start a trend of taking out the seams of jeans and inserting a different color to fill the gaps.
Or just making their own clothes.
why i've started learning to sew
This is absolutely insane. I knew about the weight criteria for idols, but I never EVER thought the company would just be allowed to monitor the idol's food like that! That's literal starvation. I'm so sorry to everyone in Korea who lives under these standards, and even more so these poor idols. The way one of them boasted about the weight chart and thought it was "amazing"? Mental illness. It's horrible
The skits are absolutely sending ME
My Korean mom (who’s mostly lived in Korea) is still struggling with her own body image and toxic standards integrated into her brain but she doesn’t realize it. I was underweight my whole life until recently, due to puberty at 17, my weight somewhat became a normal BMI (5’2, 110lbs). I still can’t fit into some of the Korean (one-size-fits-all) clothing by the way. She called me fat because I weigh more than her now. She’s taller than me. It’s fucking insane. And as she was already manipulating me my whole life, it almost got to me and I started believing that I was fat? But I got away from her and now it’s obvious who’s obsessed with the unimportant stuff. The thing is, we are the first string of generations to realize it’s bullshit, and unfortunately the older generation’s women got very much brainwashed without anyone telling them it was wrong. But I’m hoping we can break the cycle even just for ourselves, because it’s really not that serious and you could do so much without having to worry about stupid societal standards. By the way, I got diagnosed with severe depression & anxiety along with having a bunch of other symptoms due to my mom’s abuse and now she doesn’t even ask how I’m doing. How I’m feeling. How I’m sleeping. She straight up analyzes my face and body seconds after seeing me. After months of silence. Just unsolicited comments lmao so yeah what happened to hi, hello we’ll never know… but we do need to be kind to each other and support those who are going through these issues because we are aware. And just mind your own business. Even if you looked like Aphrodite, (the goddess of beauty didn’t fit the modern standards by the way so what are we chasing,) regardless of who you are, it would still be fucking rude to tell people how they look and how they should gain/lose weight, or whatever. Humanity is dead smh
저는 한국 남자고 키는 175cm 몸무게는 47kg (102lb) 이지만
이 쓰레기 국가는 저를 현역병으로 징집핮니다 😂😂
my mum's side is from bolivia and i found some of the things you said about east asian society resonated with me - culture there is very blunt (and i think its the same for a lot of latin america), its sooo common to say 'you've lost/gained weight' and talk about staying skinny in normal conversation. it messed me up a bit especially when i lost weight and like something you said i received lots and lots of praise there from family friends saying 'wow you're so much skinnier now!' like thanks? i know they're not trying to be rude but... what does that mean for what i looked like before? this was a really good topic to tackle i think, thank you!
fat shaming in the west has such a sinister origin too. Larger bodied with soft curves were coveted for a long time because it was a status symbol, like you had enough money to eat and eat well. but when we started enslaving people from Africa and saw that some of them were naturally curvy or bigger than we were expecting, suddenly the trend changed. it became a standard to be skinny because it meant you had self-control and “virtue”, while being curvy or fat meant meant you were “gluttonous” or a “savage”.
Emily’s broken Korean is killing me as a Korean, the message still got across lmao
i love your ability to take a serious topic and still find ways to blend humor into the video
I’m an eating disorder therapist and I love this video and the attention you’re bringing to this topic. I do want to make a quick note though that when you compare the “two extremes” and say that having a restrictive eating disorder is just as unhealthy as being “morbidly obese” it’s just two sides of the spectrum, restriction vs indulgence that’s not totally accurate. There are multiple reasons a person might be on the largest end of the spectrum of fatness, it could be genetics, epigenetics, a health condition that causes weight gain, or an eating disorder (or a combo or something else). What people don’t realize is that people who gain weight due to an eating disorder generally have RESTRICTIVE eating disorders as well. This is because when you lose a significant amount of weight in a short period of time (usually through restriction) your body’s set point can artificially increase, and when you try to return to normal eating patterns or begin binge behaviors in response to being in state of starvation, you gain more weight than you initially lost, which creates a pattern of weight cycling. So someone who is on the thinnest end of the spectrum from an ED and someone who is on the fattest end of the spectrum of an ED are actually on the same end of the spectrum when it comes to their relationship with food. Most people outside the ED field don’t understand this (actually a lot of people IN the ED field also don’t which is really upsetting) so it’s not your fault for having this misconception, but it felt important to share. Thank you for talking about such an important topic, I hope this comment came off as helpful/educational and not like I was being an asshole (hard to convey tone on the internet).
I am 1m68 tall and wear US size 4. For clothes from Local Vietnamese brand stores, I am obese. And the guys around me tell me that I have to lose weight below 45kg (under 100lb) to fit the beauty standard , but with that weight it will make me look sick 😢
I am 1.75.5 meter tall and weigh around 72kilogram. People often compliment me how I have the body of a model and can wear just about anything. Here in Belgium I feel the beauty standard isn't so skinny.
You sure those guys aren't just saying that, because their own girlfriend lied to them about their real weight?
You are not obese. At your height, being below 45kg would make you dangerously underweight. I'm talking about potential organ failure underweight. 😨Ignore those idiots please, just tell them you don't want organ failure, infertility, muscle wasting or irreversible osteoporosis, that can come with being that underweight.😊
Hi im 175cm man in SKorea and I olny weigh 47kg (102lb)
But my motherfucking country says I must be a soldier 😂
@@bloody_heil I recommend you see a doctor, you weigh too little.😮 Especially if you struggle to gain weight. You might have a health problem.
For some reason I failed to register “skinniness” as a word so for about two seconds I thought the title was referring to east asian peoples’ obsession with having skin
This made me cackle when I was drinking water and I almost choked 💀
Who the hell wants skin? I peel mine off regularly. I get a lot of looks, so I KNOW I look good.
As a pretty overweight East Asian, this is sooo relatable. My parents would complain how fat I was then proceed to feed me a bunch of food that were often not that healthy. My dad constantly tells me I need to lose weight and has suggested I just eat an apple a day like several women he worked with in China did to lose weight. He has also told me that strictly because of my weight I wouldn’t be able to find a job, especially not in asia if I for some reason wanted to apply there(from the US). My mom is more lowkey but is constantly sending me articles and videos about diet fads and what she’s doing to keep in shape. It makes up like half the stuff she texts me about.
whats even more unfortunate is that I've had several other family members develop EDs because of this as they currently live in east asia. I have a cousin who ended up in the hospital more than once because she said she needed to lose weight for her job as a sales assistant. One of my aunts used to take diet pills when she was younger to lose weight despite only being slightly chubbier in her cheeks.
Blockberry creative is fucking crazy. Doing that to yeojin, she was 14 when she debuted… taking away her food when she was around a teenager is especially evil, starving is going to be engrained into her.
Also I do remember Loona members joking about having to sneak snacks all the time for each other, make me feel so bad 😭😭
27:51 im sorry the "Xièxiè fatty" with the smile killed me lmaoooooo
Same 😭
Lol thanks fatty 😂
I grew up taking Chinese both mandarin and Cantonese I did not use google 😂
27:01 this skit took me tf out lmfao, not the lil baby overalls and a bracelet for a waist chain 🥲😭😂
video starts at 0:01 you’re welcome
thanks 🙏🙏
Thank you so much!!
Ty ur a legend
Thank you so much for this! You are doing the lord's work with this comment.
this comment is so true! i'd like to add on to your point that the video ends at 28:42
I wish that body trends would stop and we could just arrive at a healthy middle.
No extremes to either side. Bodies aren’t made for neither starvation nor constant overload.
or or, just crazy idea. Instead we shouldn't demonise, but normalise that people just have different bodies, create system / society that won't shame them either way, give them all the information and accesses to health care ( plus a system that allows people to breath instead of constantly stressing) and just let people be decide how they want to live, and be the way they are. Some people are naturally smaller, that's fine, some a bigger. For a variety of reason. No one else's problem.
Also: being overweight is necessarily unhealthy, nor is being "underweight" . there are lot of things that factor into this. And unhealthy dieting is one of the worst things you can do to your body, that does included many diets overweight people do to loose weight. Not to mention a lot of the stress that comes with it.
@@fee6362 I did not demonise people with different bodies.
Yes, there is variety in non-ill bodies with healthy habits. But the range isn’t Eugenia Cooney to Tess Holiday. Yes, there should be no shaming. I am not aware that I shamed anyone in my response.
And it is indeed my colleagues’ and my problem in healthcare. We have to import parts for prosthetics now because people keep exceeding the very high weight limit of EU prosthetic parts.
And being overweight is indeed unhealthy, EVEN IF IT’S MUSCLES. The “bumper discs” in your joints aren’t made for excessive weight. (It would also be incredibly unhealthy to constantly carry around a heavy backpack 24/7.)
This isn’t about morals, it’s about basic physiology.
But we absolutely agree on crash diets being shit.
People should adopt healthy habits and a healthy diet.
I wish my patients would have gotten the memo, there’s so many that destroyed themselves with bad habits like bad diets or smoking leading to amputations.
Again, to drive my point home, we shouldn’t shame people. But I do want them to be healthy.
@@EmpressCosplay I agree, and those examples are two very extremes.
We should also mention that at least in Eugenia's case, she also has a ED, that's very well known.
I also see your point, I don't know your what you encounter. And it is public health issue, though people must be able to make decisions for themselves. ( I also don't know where you from, which play into what you experience, an such)
I think there is a lot of that plays into it that's overlooked. But I understand that sadly, there are people who like to pretend, or like to believe false things, because they already feel trapped.
I understand what you mean, but the way you worded it, originally is bit unclear, and language that's often used in blaming way.
I think that has to do with the fact that many of those people try to look, like they are not just trying to find something look down on other and make them selves feel better, instead of every look at the bigger picture.
This is my first time seeing this channel and I subscribed like.... Immediately.
1) the skits are hilarious
2) you have amazing takes
2) as a previous idol trainee and mixed white / asian person living in SK I can confirm the condescending granny insults, the insanely small sizes (impossible for tall people), and pressure on idols and trainees. Right now as an independent idol I'm pushing for healthier bodies, so seeing this video made me sosososoososo happy. Thank you!!! ❤
As someone with an ED thank you for this video. You communicated a lot of important points a lot of creators either fail to share or don’t share properly. I love your content and I hope you know how amazing you are ❤
I'm Korean Canadian and this is so true! My mom and aunt (funny how it's always the "women") think it's a greeting to comment on my weight. They don't think it's a toxic part of the so-called culture.
if you’re struggling; yes, it’s a negative thing, ik your disorder tells you your illness is good, but it is destroying you inside out. you got this, it’s okay to get better! late to this vid but i’m so gladd i don’t have anorexia anymore, i feel so bad for teens on tiktok especially rn.
This is such a big issue… but the “Build a bear” took me out😭🤣
wake up babs, emily uploaded
A friend of mine who grew up in Japan often mentioned she struggled with the Dutch culture of directness.
It is often said Dutch culture could almost be considered "rude".
That same friend once looked me straight in the eyes and said: maybe you should skip the cake. You're getting fat.
I was absolutely floored by the rudeness! But the weird thing is, she meant well???
The skit with the hair tie is giving Class Of 09
Everyone with dark hair in a ponytail is Nicole now. I hate weeaboos