PRETTY GIRL PROBLEMS: Dangers Of The Halo Effect | Pretty Privilege
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ต.ค. 2024
- What happens when pretty privilege becomes toxic? What are pretty girl problems, and how can we navigate them?
Drop a comment to share your opinion :)
xo
Tinuola
PRETTY HURTS: The Dangers Of HALO EFFECT | Pretty Privilege Problems, Pretty Girl problems
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*Disclaimer;
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Hey, this is a good video :) I liked the way you talked about the topics and the quality of the video is good. But tbh in my opinion the sexual harassment part should have gotten more attention. For me it's the main Problem about the pretty privilege.
Thanks Louisa for sharing.🤍
I didn’t know how bad pretty girls have to deal with this, but I’m SO glad people are speaking up!
I hate when people think just pretty young girls are S. A. Or abuse victims. If a man wants a young girl or to abuse a girl they are not going for looks. They are going for vulnerability
note she didn't say only pretty girls. the video is ABOUT pretty privilege, hence why it was brought up but nobody said 'only pretty girls experience abuse'...
That's very true. That's really dismissing just an average little girl
Sometimes people just want to have you in their circle for the sake of it not cos they genuinely care about you. Thanks for sharing
Ikr 😞
@@WhizQueen exactly. Once they get over the attraction, you will then find out if they geniunely care for u. Its not a flex 😒
As an attractive woman, I learned over time that the sheer mental and emotional labor of vetting men to figure out whether they were genuinely interested in ME or only looking to use me as a trophy to increase their own status was simply not worth it. I opted out of ever seeking relationships and stayed off of dating sites. Thus the only relationships I've been in are the ones that came right into my path, and started as solid friendships first. I will never respect a man that lies to women to get them into bed-- EVEN if he were to (snort) "change his ways" after "falling in love" with me. Then you have the ones that prey on attractive, independent women for the sole purpose of ruining our lives. They are also persona non grata in my world. Since men seem to love being predatory especially around very attractive women, I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than with a man that only wants me for my looks. I suspect that's why a lot of beautiful women are single. Men have ruined dating so bad that many of us are just opting out altogether.
Wow, thank you for sharing this!!
I think the hook up culture has also made things worse😞
@@worldadventuretravel this is very very true.
There are some good points, but I think the idea of pretty women being more at danger of domestic or sexual violence is overstated. Women who are seen as less desirable are often just as much, if not more frequently, victims of abuse.
They can be seen as easy targets because "they probably have low self-esteem since no one likes them and they're desperate for attention" in the eyes of abusers. Anyone can be abused for a variety of reasons, and I don't think people are abused for being pretty so much as they might get more (male, sexual) attention in general which increases the risk of abuse since they're exposed more to interested men in general.
It also depends on the nature of the mistreatment. Pretty women are more likely to be catcalled (although "ugly" women are often yelled at for being ugly, it happens) but abuse is about control and not attraction.
“..abuse is about control, not attraction”. 👏🏾
You’ve made a very valid point. Love it!
Very very true
Very insightful. I hope pretty women run into this video and understand why they're going through certain things. None of these things have ever happened to me, but I'm glad I'm less bitter now to the point where I can genuinely sympathize with pretty women and also want their safety (I've always hated that pretty women can just get anything they want, be with who they want, all these benefits, meanwhile we less attractive women have to work for anything we want)
Great video! This popped up on my homepage and I'm glad I watched.
The discernment is the downside of pretty privilege I see the most, especially when it comes to guy friends. I am pursuing a legal career and sing in choirs as a hobby, and sometimes it's hard to tell whether guys are trying to be my friend for reasons other than my appearance. I definitely feel like some guys try to play the "long game" with me by becoming my friend in hopes that down the line, they'll have the opportunity to finally sleep with me or date me in some way -- maybe I'll become vulnerable in some way like you said, or I'll become attracted to them, or they'll finally muster the courage to share their feelings :/
Thanks for sharing your experience Brianna.🤍
In my opinion, most male friends want something in the end. But that’s not a problem, if you know how to navigate around that. Discernment comes with noticing patterns and being attentive to the little details.
Also, every woman’s body is valuable, and only us can choose what we let in.
Ok but this is true. I’ve been called pretty most of my life. I’ve been pointed out in class as an example of a “pretty feminine woman” more than once. I have very low self esteem though. But your points are true. I have a lot of trauma occurring from the opposite sex : (
I've experienced this pretty privilege thing from both sides so I'm definitely gonna say that it's true
if u doubt it's real go ask someone who either had a glow up, glow down or someone who got experience with it
Now look, I'm not a ugly woman, but we're not going to sit up here and make it seem like it's the ugly friends fault for distancing herself from the pretty friend. Would you rather have her be mean to you or be disrespectful?? No no because if it was the other way around, you would distance yourself too! It's the most logical thing to do. They have to protect their self-esteem and their self-image also so I don't fall the less attractive women for distancing herself from her friends. Maybe she wants to find friends that's on her caliber so she don't worry I have to worry about feeling bad or feeling guilty for how she looks every time she goes out in public with her pretty friend.
Interesting😆
@@Tinuola 😢😢 I really feel bad for them. Hey but you want to know what? Did you know I was actually the friend quite a few times that didn't get hollered at and sat on the sidelines? Oh yes! The friends that I was with, look like they were from the trailer park and two of my friends have buck teeth and their names were both Jessica I I am a very well put together woman ever since I was 12 years old I've been very well put together, have my own natural hair and I'm just naturally a pretty girl, but these chicks that I was with can go out in a long oversized t-shirt with a messy ponytail and they will get hit on and I wouldn't. And they were nowhere as good-looking as me. It was mostly because they were white.
wow thanks for sharing! It’s definitely tricky to navigate. I suspect the men approaching your friends had their racial preference too. So that isn’t necessarily bcus you’re the ‘ugly friend’…or…idk😅
@@Tinuola yeah I had somebody tell me in a joking way you're not ugly, you're just the wrong race LOL I was like Wow!
You told nothing but the truth💯
Thank you!
Your content is fire, and you are absolutely gorgeous. 💯 new subscriber!
Thank you for your kind words and welcome to the community!🤗🥳
Awwhh you look so much like Issa Rae
I get this comment a lot. Maybe we are related😆
The worst part is grooming…
I attracted more men at my 12-14 than now at 20 ☠️
Not here to say you wrong for how you feel but hear me out. In my case as an unattractive woman, I would rather filter through men then have no options at all. I'm 26 and I had never been asked on a date or had any guy try to talk to me. I feel like crap when other women share their dating stories and I have none to share.
When you mention that women can get jealous, you cannot really blame them. However I never been mean to a woman because she is pretty but I see why others may feel a way. Because of my looks, women do not want to be my friend so I have maybe 2 friends.
Society as a whole treat unattractive people terribly. I would do anything to be treated like a human being. I think that is why people catfish ( I dont catfish.) As humans, we are suppose to have social connections and when you do not have that, it can do something to the mind. For example, think about older people in nursing homes. I think they lose their mind because they have noone talk to or visit them.
Thank you for this comment bosslady! There could be other factors as to why
you don't get approached (not to dismiss your take), but our community plays a huge role! In terms of looking attractive, it has never been easier for most women to look pretty. I know there's a lot of pressure to conform to the popular beauty standard, but you can always enhance your natural beauty, without going extreme. I share more about that on this channel, check out this video; th-cam.com/video/HZCPYTl7vG4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=6UZd1Nde3U3FIzZp and stay subscribed!♥
@@bossladybad9279 hey girl! Maybe because of my bart Simpson pic it doesn't looks like it but as someone who's on the other side (and has been considered pretty all the time ig) you're not treated like a person either! In my experience, attracting weirdos is extremely dangerous as fuck (I don't say this doesn't happens to average ppl but in my case it's on another level according to my friends). I'm so sorry you feel that way about your dating life, and without knowing you have you ever considered your personality? Are you shy? Introverted? I met girls who weren't actually ugly just with a very introverted personality and since they didn't go outside they never got asked!
Btw, I wish you the best luck!
@@Yadejameenpaz263 I'm a very animated bubbly person but because people look at me like im crazy or either they will flat out ignore me, I found myself very quiet.
So for a while I thought I was an introvert but I'm actually not. I like to talk to people but again people could careless about what I have to say.
Another reason why I think people dont like me is because they think I'm slow. Why? Who knows but I never been in slow classes and did well in school. One person that called me that told me because I was quiet. Another told me because I wear helmet like- unbrushed wigs and looked upkept. It is true because since I do not get no attention, I just gave up on self care. I have been told by peers they would not hang with me because of that. However I do have moments where I will dress up and I look good and I post nothing but good looking pics on Facebook, but I still get no likes or men in my dms. Sorry I got long winded.
I am an attractive latina women and i hate it
Does Pretty Privilege Matter? th-cam.com/video/UwWC33cNOZE/w-d-xo.html
😊 hey hot chocolate I loved that. Great videos.
Thank you🥰🤗🫶🏽
Ain't she hot chocolate though! She's beautiful
Also, what if your pretty and never had pretty privilege?? Yall look at me, im def pretty, but never had anything happen except get out of a ticket.
I find it interesting that some pretty girls don’t know how to tap into the pretty privilege (btw I can relate).😆
You actually have to LEARN how to use your pretty privilege, especially as a dark skin BW.
I’ll share more about this in a future video, stay subscribed🫶🏽
@@Tinuola thank you so much I look forward to the information. I'm not even really sure if that applies to me anymore because I'm 40 so people will not look at me the same anymore. But when I was growing up, my mom had very very low self-esteem and she didn't teach me a lot of things so I had no clue on how to use my beauty. I didn't know until I became older
40 is the new 20!😆 Truth is, it’s never too late for a woman to tap into her OWN beauty. Like fine wine, getting older means more experience, charisma and peace with navigating life.🤍
Btw, I’ll be dropping a new video on pretty privilege this Sunday.
You're definitely not ugly , but You're also not striking, so you're pretty much average ( in society's eyes ) & that's why you don't receive pretty privilege & that's ok ! 80% of the world is average not everyone can be insanely beautiful/ attractive & look like a super model . Plus age is also a huge factor! U mentioned that you're 40 Unless you look like kim k or bernice burgos who are also in their 40's you probably won't be receiving any type of pretty privilege ❤.
@@Angel.50 I'm definitely pretty. I'm not what you say"striking" but I an a pr9girl that doesn't look 40. And if course I'm not a kim K cause we are completely different people from different backgrounds, and race.
When I was 20ish guys would try to pimp me out. I wouldn’t say I was model beautiful, but I certainly wasn’t hard to look at and appeared far younger than I was (13-16). I was groomed as a child and subconsciously learned that if I gained a lot of weight I was less likely to be used or looked at sexually. At 30 I decided I would take better care of myself and as soon as I dropped the weight I was sexually harassed, stalked and treated differently by my friends. I gained the weight back quickly and don’t experience those particular problems atm. I’ve become a hermit, suffer panic attacks in public and in general, avoid my problems by eating.
Pretty privilege is a thing, but it’s never been to my benefit
Amanda thank you so much for sharing.🙏🏾 I can only imagine how hard it must have been having such experience from a young age.
If you don’t mind me asking, have you ever tried therapy or any healing treatments? It can help with the emotional eating and panic.
We all have some level of damage to heal from, and I personally have been using a lot of professional help lately.
@@Tinuola Thank you. I do have a therapist and honestly, she has helped me a great deal. We do a mix of cognitive and dialectical therapy as well as medication to help.
Some days are better than others but I’ve seen a lot of improvement since I first started seeing a therapist.
It’s been a long haul, but often I find it’s the small things we do everyday that make up the big picture.
@@SuitableMeatbag wow this is so wholesome. Thank you!🤗🤍