So glad I found this channel. I’m African American, but people think I’m Ethiopian. The mean stares from other women are REAL. It used to make me feel bad, but now it just makes me laugh. I’m no longer going to make myself small to appease insecure women.
@@Had4519 it’s rough! Other women label you as conceited when you’re just minding your business. Or they’re always trying to find fault in you. It’s sad.
It’s weird to me when they stare and stare and then act like they don’t want to talk to you when you speak…. Well stop looking in my face.. huge eyeroll
Yes I love complimenting fellow pretty girl club members when I see them in the store ! I saw a teenage girl at target she was so adorable! We both complimented eachother lol 😂
I saw this girl the other day.. and she was so pretty .. I said girl you are beautiful… she smile and said you’re conceited because we look alike… and I thought about it and we did!!! Which is weird because I don’t usually look at myself and think pretty but people literally say it to me and it feels weird
People stare at me all the time & it CREEPS ME OUT!!! I hate being stared at. It is unsettling & I find it to be rude. Staring comes across as sketchy & disrespectful. I dress down most of the time & still get stares. People are on some thirsty, creepy, predatory sh!t. I just want to be left alone.
I'm a black woman and I have big long curly hair. I will never forget this time these women were walking by where I was sitting. They were staring and one of them SCREAMED "that's a nice wig she has on." I knew they said it to downplay my beauty but I found it so pathetic how we as women treat each other. I hate to sound dramatic but I felt sorry for them.
I had a lady accuse me that my hair was fake (I have 3b/3c curls). She couldn’t fathom that 1. Real curls exist, 2. That I actually like my hair because surely I should hate it? She just kept going and saying I’ve never seen hair or real hair like that?! I’ve never been more irritated in my life. In the end I just got up and left and thought there’s no point trying to convince her.
That’s her way to take the attention off of you to give herself attention. But insecurity is impressive to other insecure people. Intelligent and classy people will see her as being obnoxious / ignorant.
Also, being pretty you feel this pressure to be nice to everyone, its exhausting because ppl think you are mean. I had an ex once say before we spoke he just assumed I was some pretty mean girl and I said wait why, he said he didnt know. Anyway, Trying to appease to ppl and smiling and being nice it blaaaa..tiring....now I dont care, I wear my lipstick and do my own cute thing.
yessssss omg! I feel like some people get SO ANGRY when an actual pretty girl gets even more validation. i feel like thats why some people will purposely ignore you when youre pretty. they dont want to give you any more validation 😂
I’ve caught”ex friends”rolling their eyes at me NUMEROUS times like if I pull out a mirror and put on lipstick..or fix my hair. Ridiculous. I’m so over it.
I find that extremely weird when folks stare or give the eye roll. When I see other pretty women I may compliment them. Sometimes it might be on an outfit or even a hair style that I like. I'll glance and then compliment. They stand out and I go about my way. ❤
The staring definitely gives me a confidence boost but I also developed social anxiety because of it going back to grade school. People have always stared at me like I'm an alien 😂
yes at first it used to give me social anxiety like is something wrong with me? am i deformed? is there something in my teeth? but now i just embrace it because life is too short to worry about what others think of me. also I just smile at people if i see them looking at me.
This is so validating… I never considered myself beautiful but I can totally relate to this. My eyes were really opened when I dated this guy and the amount of attention he got for being with ME said it all. Men and little boys would dap him up, give him fist bumps and head nods… he said we were at Walmart and as soon as this man turned the corner, he stopped in his tracks and his mouth fell open. Plus all of the dirty looks from women… when I look in the mirror I can clearly see my flaws, so some of the attention and stares ignite my social anxiety. I find myself dressing down, or wearing a mask to become invisible. Thank you for this video, it’s healing ❤
As a 49-year-old black woman in good shape, well dressed, yes, I get stared at and people walk up and compliment me. When people stare at you, STARE BACK AT THEM!
I remember I was talking to a guy who went out of his way to let me know that 1. I’m not light skin (in about Rihanna color) 2. He was not jealous of me 3) I was skinny and that wasn’t his type… mind you he’s always looking at me and my outfits and liked how I looked everyday.
Omg I had an unambiguous black guy try to randomly tell me that he doesn’t date LS girls because they’re crazy, and that he had a fully black cousin who was lighter than me 😂 I’m fenty 300-310. he was trying so hard to humble me 😂 later he admitted that he was jealous that I would be taken on dates for free and that men had to pay ☠️
It took me over 20 years to accept the stares. This is a daily experience for beautiful women. It used to be to be very uncomfortable but you learn to accept that you’re gorgeous which is not THAT COMMON in everyday settings. It does boost my confidence when I’m feeling down about my life though..with all the constant stares I’m like well at least God made be beautiful. 🙏🏽 That’s something to be grateful for 😅🙏🏽
I find that there are two types of looks. The first, of “oh wow, she’s so pretty.” And it’s more of a look of admiration, usually from someone who is confident and likely pretty as well. The second, of “oh, she’s so pretty. I wish I was pretty like that. She probably thinks she’s all that, so I don’t like her.” Usually this look comes from someone who is insecure, not as pretty, and therefore view you as competition. Or even if they are pretty, they are insecure, and, jealous of other women. Me, I fall into the former category of admiring pretty girls, when I see them, and looking at them with a smile. But then again, I’ve always been more of an Uplifter than someone who speak to break people down.
I have the comparison looks, the eye rolls, the "grip man closer"/block him from seeing me, the is your hair real instead of just complimenting. I've had a checkout woman give me a compliment about my hair and a jealous woman behind me made a comment saying otherwise. There's no doubt in my mind, being shapely and naturally pretty has always been a reason for women to hate me before they even get to know me. I hid it a lot when I was younger.
This is so true. I had to change churches a year ago due to the constant stares and aggression from some girls at a Bible study. You would think that church would be a safe space but no. It can happen everywhere which is exhausting🤷🏾♀️. Thanks for posting this sis! Stay pretty!! ❤
Whew it is exhausting, I was walking down the isle at work and one coworker jump up and shouted “This is not a fashion show” I was so embarrassed but I get it now.
What’s even crazier is for me, most of the time the insecure girl is equally or even more attractive but they still choose to be mean… it’s just sad honestly.
I was in Five Guys yesterday and it was this elderly white couple in front of me. The wife kept turning around looking back at me…no words just eyeing me. As soon as her husband glanced back at me ….ion know why but baby girl was hugged under her man tight. And she kept looking back at me. Baby what am I gonna do with a grandpa except take his money. Ew. 🤮
For me, it's always been a comparison/ inspiration thing. When I see a pretty woman, I don't have any bad feelings towards her, but I always question myself, like "why can't I look like that, why can't I be that?" And then I imagine what it would be like to be her. Since I have been working on myself that has shifted more towards inspiration, where I realize that being beautiful is a choice, and it requires you to have discipline and put effort into yourself. Every now and then when I am at the gym and I see another girl with a better body than me, I immediately start to feel bad, but then I remember, "Rome was not built in a day," and I know my time will come when I finally can look how I feel on the inside. Anyways, sorry for the long post!
I remember a story where a woman was jumped while getting some chicken wings simply because she was beautiful! They were jealous of her. It’s a very lonely, scary world when you’re beautiful.
It’s crazy, I used to hangout more and what stopped me was my so called friends getting upset that I was well put together. Hair cute outfits etc. it got so ridiculous when we would make plans they would quickly say I’m only wearing jeans and a Tshirt though. Like ok I didn’t ask what you were wearing lol or they’d hawk eye their bfs to see if they were looking at me. I definitely stopped going out. Now I only have two friends that ask what I’m wearing and try to match my vibe which I appreciate. And the stares! My god I always feel like I must have stains on my clothes 😂 I rarely get compliments just weird looks and plenty of attitude smh. Anyway, I feel seen here. Thank you ❤
Omgg i finally dont feel crazyy anymore! Everywhere i go i get the craziest looks! My husband finally noticed 2 weekend's ago at a restaurant a girl straight up stared at me looking me up and down, i then made eye contact with her and just stared at her locking eye contact for like 5 seconds 😂 then she made the ugliest face and walked away lol!! My husband seen the whole thing and finally believes me. I hate going out places for this very reason.
I feel you. It's sad but I kind of don't like going out much because of how people act. My husband always invites me to his outings with co workers but I'm hesitant because the girls act mean and the guys act scared to acknowledge my presence. I like to go out and have fun but I always feel isolated or on guard now. I know i shouldn't let others make me feel that way but it's hard having fun with people who act weird like that. One thing I appreciate about my husband is that he peeps the hate I receive and is very protective of me. Sometimes he sees it before I do. Lol
Lmao I was in Vegas with my husband and his guyfriends one of them had a gf and she asked me if my hair was real I said yes and I gave worn hair extensions for years also. She looked down and disappointed in herself lol
6:39 This is so true. At my workplace, I started wearing a kinky straight wig and I got compliments by some of my coworkers. Days later as I continue wearing it, one coworker randomly asked me if it was my real hair as I was just walking around the workplace minding my own business.
omg wow! im not surprised! i remember one time i came into work with one of my many wigs. that day i had a very bright blonde curly wig on (like literally taylor swifts hair color). i then realized that my blonde wig was more vibrant than my white blonde coworkers hair lol. then when we had a finance meeting later someone complimented my hair and the white lady was like "thats not your hair is it?" LMAO 🤣 its as if people just HAVE to know your beauty secrets so they can try to use the tips for themselves
As a “pretty girl” I love to give compliments to other pretty girls but when they are surrounded by lots of people it’s intimidating to go up to them so I stare😢. But on the other hand i can’t take a compliment and people always come up to me and tell me that I’m pretty but due to my upbringing it’s hard to believe. 😔
I like this perspective on why people stare. It can be a good thing but honestly I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember. I don’t mind the little glances but when people just blatantly stare without looking away, it creeps me out. You would think that at some point it’s something you’d get used to, but it doesn’t make me feel comfortable. I’ve had girls roll their eyes at me when all I did was walk in the room. I never understood it because I don’t think I’m the prettiest girl. There are plenty of other pretty girls so why am I getting this type of response but I learned over time that it’s not just your beauty, it’s your aura, your femininity, your confidence, and the way you carry yourself. Some of us just naturally stand out without meaning to and it draws a lot of people to us. We get attention whether it’s wanted or not. Sometimes I just don’t want to be bothered. I’ve never cared for the attention because I have an introverted side to me so there were times I just wanted to be in the background but would still stand out. Then you have those insecure people who feel the need to humble you. I think the thing about being beautiful is that you attract everyone so you have to be selective about who you allow to have access to you. Whether that’s access to your time, your energy, your space. I can see how the stares would make someone feel self conscious. I know it makes me feel that way at times.
I've noticed catty behavior due to my picture on the Teams app at work. I noticed when ppl see me at the zoom meeting, they like wow you really like that. 😂😂😂
OMG! Yes! I had the same experience with my job.😅 I work remotely for a brokerage firm. I've been there for a few months and I haven't been to the actual office yet. The only one who had seen me was the funds manager who hired me. Apparently, he told the ladies at the office that he had hired a "gorgeous" new broker. OMG! Why did he do that?!😩🤦 When I signed onto the zoom meeting, which hadn't started yet, everyone was chatting with eachother. Then, you could've heard a pin drop as soon as I turned my camera on. Now, my photo is attached to my emails, so they've all seen my picture via email correspondence. But when I turned that camera on, it was like I was in a damned twilight zone.🥴😳 Then, one of the ladies finally broke the silence and said, "Oh. You really do look like your picture." As if they thought I had photo-shopped it or something. Then, the deuche funds manager, who is a MARRIED MAN, is just sitting there grinning. These m€n are such sh*t starters sometimes.🤭 Anyway, I decided on that day that I wouldn't be attending any in-office functions unless they were absolutely mandatory. Those women already feel some type of way about me, and our childish manager is excited about seeing some potential drama amongst the women.🙄
@@sophiam9886I work remotely like you. We also use Teams. I work in government and I do not post my picture up in Teams and we dont have to show our faces in meetings. Like you, I also have never attended any person meetings unless they are mandatory other than that I do not attend. No can do. My coworkers have no clue what I look like. I refuse to deal with that mess. I never go to any in person meetings and dont plan on going and only if it is mandatory. I dont like socializing with coworkers.
Omgosh! Same! I had a nice picture of myself on teams and i wasnt feeling the energy i was getting so i took it down and i put a picture of my cat up! Never will i ever use my picture for a work profile again😅
Honestly, it’s best to react to situations like a public figure / celebrity. Because you are in a way. So either you ignore it or acknowledge it politely.
I’m white, I have short blonde hair, and I look like Twiggy. Especially from women, but also younger men I feel that jealousy and hatred a lot. A lot. Especially younger men go out of their way to put me down.
Try being the prettiest sister amongst a group of girls that share the same mother, but different fathers. I’m the oldest and have a different father from my two sisters (they share the same father). My father is Puerto Rican and their father is black American. I went through hell growing up with my mother, sisters, aunts, and grandmother. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I understood they was mean to me because they are jealous. My son was bragging about my hair at thanksgiving gathering and my sister started crying and showing him pictures of IG models with long hair. She’s such a weirdo.
my exwife's dad had 3 baby mothers and she was the middle kid. her sister was younger and not attractive at all, so the mother absolutely hated my exwife
They be staring hard but ain't nobody giving them the attention they want. I ignore, go on with my life and they just keep staring hoping to have a piece of my vibe.
Aww I know how you feel. Im determined not to continue to let it stop me from going out and enjoying myself. Im going to put on my cutest sexiest outfits and have fun. Let them be mad😂
The stares and snarls make me so uncomfortable along with the comments made about my hair. I have really long hair and constantly get weird unecessary comments from women about "cutting it off" or how "hard it must be to manage" ..it never ends. They even observe and stare at what you eat.
What about the people ( especially men) that see you often and are literally always staring at you but never say anything? It drives me crazy cause the stares are so obvious
Idc as long as they dont talk to me , Im in third world country here they might insult you on street , slap your butt , block the road , talk to you , become passive agressive , or even stalker type .. My worst fear is attracting a stalker 😂
This channel made me see that I really used to go out of my way to prove that I am humble about my looks in an effort to not seem like I support colorism but celebrating my God given appearance is not wrong!!! My darkskin exotical grandmother (she has two black parents but with some possible admixture) always told me how beautiful I am and warned me about jealousy from others as she is extremely beautiful as well. Walking out into the world, I ALWAYS get a compliment. I have never gone a week in my life without receiving a compliment, mostly for my hair but when I wear a fake pony or bun up my hair I am then complimented for my smile or skin. A few years ago a roommate (UABW) told me that most people dont get to experience that. That a compliment is a rare occurrence, let along stares… This is the first time I have heard online discourse about the shared experiences with the general staring or knowing that Black men will catcall or stare, and all the attention we get our way. Discussing this online in the past would have never gotten anywhere since we get dismissed so fast. In IRL, i have only discussed this occurrence with close friends where I am seen as an actual human being and individual and not being accused of putting myself on a pedestal. Thank you for this safe place to discuss our experiences. It is hard to constantly sort the genuine compliments from the creepy stares from the backhanded compliments and everything in between. We did not ask to be in the constant state of awareness of others’ energy, but if we discuss this online, this is what we “deserve” since we want the “preferential treatment”. Yes, i selected my phenotype to receive preferential treatment 🙄. Lastly, since reclaiming the word “exotical” I’ve really been feelin’ myself🥰💕
Yet everytime I call myself beautiful I get told that I am ugly. I get bullied so bad because sometimes just because I am beautiful. I have also noticed that some people have less patience with me because they feel that a pretty girl like me gets everything handed to me.
Thank you for this video ❤️ I’ve been needing someone to say this out loud. No one will admit that they are truly this insecure, jealous and disgusting. I’ve had my days when I may not have felt super pretty, but I’ve never dreamed of trying to pick someone else apart to feel better. That’s SO weird and sad. ALSO, I don’t believe any of the stares are with good intentions to “copy” your beauty. Truthfully, no one needs to ask you about what you do to emulate you. If you like my eye colors, go get contacts. If you like my hair texture, buy one similar. It’s unnecessary to try to pull you apart just to copy you. That’s BS.
@@ExoticalsUnited Thank you! I needed to vent lol. I can’t wait to hear your input. I just experienced the “stare” yesterday for the first time from an acquaintance. These people are so delusional to think they can study you and somehow become you……..as if they are EVER gonna be on your level 🙄 When they should be fixing the things they don’t like about themselves instead!
Humans are naturally attracted to beautiful things. Women stare at butterflies and pick red roses. Babies stare at pretty (faces) and can also sense beauty (spirits). Learned in art school that it's the symmetry that attracts the eye, and it's totally ok. Beauty is inspiring. Beyond that, hate is a choice.
right! thats why i like having this space because we can finally talk about things that no one wants to admit. i feel like we cant talk about this stuff in real life because people take it like we are bragging or trying to say we are better than them
@@ExoticalsUnited the gym they are going to look because it shows we are working on out fitness aka improving out stock which that’s is what they are trying to do by being there. It’s creepy everywhere like at the mall. Last weekend I was at Lululemon and this white girl was just staring at me and what I was buying. She a heavier girl but was grilling me because the clothes I bought were all size 2 to 4. I could feel her energy it was very unsettling.
I had an older friend who noticed this in my life as well and she used to just tell me, "People stare for two reasons; 1. You're ugly or 2. You're pretty." Plain and simple. 😂I said well damn. At this point in my life I'm used to it. Men women and children do it but I KNOW I have light in me so there's that too. That's the main reason. I'm full of light😆
I once had a frenemy that would only point out when guys that were not-so-aesthetically-pleasing to the eye would stare at me. I told her to stop because it made me uncomfortable and gave me anxiety to which she ignored and continued to do it (my God was she a hater) 🙄 But now that I’m older I’ve graduated to a new level of petty where I will stare back and we can both be uncomfortable in this space. 😂
I’ve been stared at my whole life! It’s something I never felt comfortable talking about but it exists in my world…at 45 I’ve just gotten used to it to it-accepted it…happens due to jealousy or admiration for sure
YOU ARE DEEPER THEN BEAUTIFUL, A MIRROR DOES NOT REFLECT THE DEPTHS OF YOU ! VEIW YOURSELF IN THE IMAGE OF WHICH WATER REFLECTS YOU TO BE(IF ITS POSSIBLE). CELEBRATE YOU ALL !
I ask that but its not from a hate place , its like is your hair real , it looks unbelivably amazing 😮, I might say it looks so beautiful, There r positive n negative reactions , not everyones a hater , some r admirers some r haters
I got your video recommended and I realised that being an Indian I felt like Indian guys stare at everyone. Even though I get stares from random people almost everyday, I still don't feel like I'm pretty or special in any way.
Yeah, the dirty looks have increased after being a mom. Going to indoor playgrounds, I get tons of frowns from other moms, even pretty ones themselves! How dare I remain thin, slim in the waistline, productive and energetic after pregnancy, giving birth, and caring for my toddler? Especially after 30? You’re right - everything comes down to comparison. While I never judge them, they channel that comparison, judging themselves for “letting themselves go,” not staying fit, being tired, and seeing their husbands glancing at me. Like in Olivia Rodrigo’s song, “their beauty is not my like,” and I’m not here to make anyone feel bad when they’re doing that to themselves.
I can totally relate to this video. In my freshmen year of high school there's was this girl who was in one of my classes and she would STARE the LIFE OUTTA ME!! Her havening naturally big bug eyes didn't make it any better. I was VERY introverted, and barley talked to anyone. I would be minding my own business and would randomly look up and she would be there staring at me. I didn't know what made me so interesting that she would just stare but i just brushed it off. As her maybe having a staring problem. Other than that, our interactions were cool just brief conversation. But one day I was in class and my teacher was playing a game on the board so i moved closer so i could see. I sat in front of her, and she jerked and moved away from me saying "hell naw" like i was some germ or something. The kids who were sitting at the table with her laughed. I was so confused even though we weren't friends i thought we were cool. I ignored her comments because i knew how i could get in confrontations. But I didn't know what i did!?! After a while she stopped making comments when people stopped reacting to her but would STILL STARE!! Now me and her have art together, we have assigned seats, and she sits with me. For a min I thought she was jealous but i couldn't understand a reason for her too be. Now that school is back i have to deal with her any advice or your take about the situation?
she definitley sounds like she is threatened by your appearance. Honestly I would say something to her 😭 but since you're an introvert I guess you can just keep ignoring her and keep being your beautiful self!
@@nilaja5380 Thank you so much for your positive and wise feedback! I can totally relate to people pleasing in order to get others to like me. What you explained i did a lot in my past. But now I've come to the realization that whatever problem people have with me is their problem and not mine. But thank you again stay blessed and pretty!!💞💖
I love the stares , you’re not making me uncomfortable you’re making me feel like a goddess.✨ It took me a long time to get to this point. However, days when I’m not in the mood I stare right back act their asses and I don’t let up. You want a staring match? Let’s go👁️. The way they flinch and turn their head around so quick 💨😂
I’m tall, slim, long hair, dress nice, wear a little makeup, but people look away when I walk past them. Both men and women. It looks like they go out of their way to not acknovledge me. It hurts, because it made me believe I must be hideous. I was bullied when growing up, I used to be a little chubby. My confidence is rock bottom. I never get stares, people look away or look down. I see them looking at other women. I’m never approached, I might be ugly, I dont know. I’m definetly invisible 😅
Lmao I wanna to grocery nearby looked messed up 😭🤣🤣people start like what u looking at . Idk people randomly make eye contact with me even at everywhere I go . I worked with this girl she started at me 24 hours with attitude nd one day I asked co- worker Lmao the whole time she mad cause she think I will take her boyfriend 🤦♀️ sis I ‘m living freely I hv no Energy for negative thoughts . She nd I are friends now nd cool .
I LOVE this channel. Last year something traumatic happened to me and it completely ruined my confidence. My supposed “best friend” had already been making snide remarks toward me but this occurrence gave her more fuel for her not-so-subtle insults. Especially after I found a bf (she’s perpetually single and I guess she assumed the same would happen to me). It took me a while to come to terms with her being jealous of me and finally cut her off. The last straw for me was her making remarks about my weight (I gained stress weight bc of events and also started college which does more stress) while we were at the gym (she’s a lot heavier than me also…). She constantly tried to humble me and this channel is helping me remember who I am and will always be ; a pretty ass girl!
When I was young I used to get this alot and yes mean jealous women are a trip they will stare you down then roll their eyes etc I'm older now so those days are in the past for me now.
Omg i have ppl stare at me for no reason many times and I am MGM. Some nasty looks and some with curious look. I have anxiety and I am on the autism spectrum. Some do roll eyes. This is from people of many colors.. Staring is SOO uncomfortable to me. 😖
People always ask me if my hair is real 😂 like they think black girls hair can be long 🙄especially your own black folks. And people do be looking at me a lot they’ll never tell me I’m pretty on my face they just stare at me and some times make me keep wiping my face thinking there’s something on my face. I’m already tall 5’7 and skinny so they see me a lot.
I’ve had to deal with this all of my life, I’ve even had to deal with it from my relatives 🙄 every time I’d come around for the holidays they would just sit there and stare like they’ve never seen me before and when I’d say hello 👋🏿 I’d get no response 🙄 they’d just continue to stare. I also have a dark skinned friend that only hangs around with light skinned black women and recently we’ve become estranged and she will randomly send old pictures of me because she wants us to start hanging out again and when she called me on FaceTime she kept asking me to turn the camera on so she could see me 🤔 we’ve been friends for 13 years but now that I’m older I’ve realized that she is colorist.
@@blasiankiki7831me too and I was just a child, receiving hate from my adult cousins, it was so confusing because I was met with so many micro aggressions because they knew that they really didn’t have a reason to hate me but for other than what I looked like. I just don’t come around them anymore, my peace is more important.
You know what’s interesting I just realized that me being heavier allows me to kind of be invisible when I walk in lot a room Not that heavier women aren’t beautiful but a lot of men tend to gravitate to smaller women initially until they get wind of my personality then it’s back to business 🤷🏽♀️ But what I’m saying is that I’m actually realizing how women don’t just not like me for no reason….or feel some type a way because I’m cool with their man …. They don’t trip as much … but before … I would have enemies I ain’t even know about Being heavier has really allowed me PEACE without dudes coming at me all the time …& I Lowkey LOVE that❤❤❤
Ppl stare at me EVERYWHERE I go, & in my honest opinion I’m just an average looking non-mixed black woman! I can’t determine if it’s bcuz they think I’m funny looking or if I just have something on that looks nice & modest, or just my hair(& I’m not the type to wear unnatural exotic colors in my hair) ! But i just can NEVER put my finger on it. 🤣
I know myself I’m the admiration type woman and I’m confident to go with respect and mannerable approach to tell a woman she beautiful I don’t care what race or color I’m woman empowerment advocate. It’s been times mostly women again no matter the race or color I always been compliment by women. I just wish women would stop trying to compete with other women
i recently started working as a patient care tech at a pretty large hospital in my hometown. this is in a suburban town that is predominantly white. yes, my make up is done, hair is laid, and my femininity is potent. the stares i get from people especially the nurses is very unsettling. they’re piercing stares and they won’t even speak which makes it more uncomfy lol. i think i may have some issues working on my unit, simply bc of my blackness and attractiveness. i’m glad i came across your video bc it may help me to understand how to navigate these types of women, especially white women in the workplace.
People stare at me all the time. But folks sometimes like to gaslight me like I'm crazy and it's all in my head. I am AA but tend to look VERY racially ambiguous depending on how I style my hair.
Omg I get asked this ALOT. In a way, I view it as a compliment. Like my hair looks so nice and shiny (shout out to olive oil + leave in conditioner) they have to think its fake hair. I also won't lie, when UABW made me feel like I'm "no better than them". I used to be very jealous of mixed girls ( UABW only view light skin looser curl girls as mixed). They even looked similar to me but my lens was very skewed man. Now, when I see women whose beauty I want to emulate in myself I just say " OMG SHE'S FUTURE ME." It makes me feel so good about myself plus self hate is a very tiring job so im quitting.
Exactly. There’s nothing wrong about admitting when your own beauty standard is different than yourself. Just become your beauty standard! lol I want to be a size 0 that is my standard for my body. So whenever I see someone that size I’m like Omg I can’t wait until my body looks like that!
I look at beautiful people and if I feel the person is approachable, I tell the person that they’re beautiful. Usually they say I made their day and they get happy. Some people are more awkward.
Sometimes when I’m fed up and in a mood, I’ll stare back at a death stare and don’t break eye contact. It makes them uncomfortable and they look away 😂
Girl this has happened to me my whole life. When i was 14 boys started noticing me. Not because of my body cause i didnt grow into it until later adulthood but because i dyed my hair and it was thick beauty and healthy .i alsi had beautiful skin and never had acne etc one of my classmates had the nerve to ask me if my hair is real, mind you i have looser curly textured hair and you can clearly see my real hair color growing out of my head. I was appalled. 😅Girls were drawn to me cause halo effect but a lot of girls were jealous. Dont get me wrong i still have my struggles but i carry myself like a runway model and people look at me like so. Mindset really is key. Ill admit coming from both sides of envy and being envied by other women ive dealt with it and understand it however its about handling it the right way. Its wrong to hate another girl for her beauty. It isnt something she can control she was born that way
I compl agree. A lot people examine me. Especially for the saying black don't crack. I never thought of it as jealousy, more as curiosity I get it now, makes sense.If I do stare, I acknowledge the person. Everyone is beautiful.
I love the attention that I receive, but at the same time I hate it. Oh yeah by the way I love your channel I feel like I can relate to it so much xoxo
I've gotten stares by little black girls who are intrigued with my features. There was an older dsbm who was walking very slowly by at at the ymca while I was working online while my grandmother was doing aerobics, he was very creepy to me.
I’m used to the stares from ugly people and haters but what about when it comes from another beautiful woman? Sometimes I get weird energy from a woman who looks good too and it’s like they get mad they’re not the hottest thing in the room😂 but I don’t even be worried about that stuff I’m just living my life and walked in the room, now we beefing? Lol
Yes girl I’ve dealt with the same. They see you as a threat pretty much. I had one girl who would try to jump in front of me in group photos and the other girls in the group had to tell her to move out of my way. We had just met and she was pretty herself so I didn’t understand it. She wanted to be the pretty one in the group and then I came along so yeah the insecure ones see you as competition. They don’t want to share the spot light lol. I don’t think that way so it took me time to understand it myself.
Thank you for creating this channel. I am so tired of the WORLD ascribing everything BAD and evil to beautiful women, yet, all women spend their earnings trying to look good. The envy and jealousy is "through the roof".
I always pray to God for protection from envy, malice or evil. But i have a natural resting bitch face. I hope other women dont identify my face as hateful. I naturally look a bit stressed. I dont ever roll my eyes at people though.
I don't care if people are jealous. Stares and looks are a boost to me.
Exactly
Love this
Yes mam ! 🎉
😂❤
So glad I found this channel. I’m African American, but people think I’m Ethiopian. The mean stares from other women are REAL. It used to make me feel bad, but now it just makes me laugh. I’m no longer going to make myself small to appease insecure women.
I relate to this completely except my Dad’s side has Somali Heritage. So same camp. Your unique experience os my own too. Thank you for sharing.
Exactly 😂
@@Had4519 it’s rough! Other women label you as conceited when you’re just minding your business. Or they’re always trying to find fault in you. It’s sad.
You probably aren't a pure black America if you look Ethiopian
@ssh-jq5ov Yes!!! It’s incredibly annoying. Something I personally find myself truly struggle with often.
People waiting on you to make eye contact so they can roll their eyes at you are pure comedy.
It’s weird to me when they stare and stare and then act like they don’t want to talk to you when you speak…. Well stop looking in my face.. huge eyeroll
This!
Right 😂😂😂
And I’m the one who has rolled my eyes from being stared at. Like dang! Lol.
It’s so hurtful when they do this like I have crippling anxiety bc of this ESPECIALLY in the church and the gym and at work! Even from white women
I love when you see someone beautiful, and you both end up finding each other beautiful when you tell each other.🥰
Yes I love complimenting fellow pretty girl club members when I see them in the store ! I saw a teenage girl at target she was so adorable! We both complimented eachother lol 😂
I saw this girl the other day.. and she was so pretty .. I said girl you are beautiful… she smile and said you’re conceited because we look alike… and I thought about it and we did!!! Which is weird because I don’t usually look at myself and think pretty but people literally say it to me and it feels weird
😄💖
People stare at me all the time & it CREEPS ME OUT!!! I hate being stared at. It is unsettling & I find it to be rude. Staring comes across as sketchy & disrespectful. I dress down most of the time & still get stares. People are on some thirsty, creepy, predatory sh!t. I just want to be left alone.
💯💯
Yes!
I feel the same exact way
say it again girl. say it again. Just left alone. Why can't they understand that?
@@l.a.perrotte9908 because they are dumb, insecure & evil.
I'm a black woman and I have big long curly hair. I will never forget this time these women were walking by where I was sitting. They were staring and one of them SCREAMED "that's a nice wig she has on." I knew they said it to downplay my beauty but I found it so pathetic how we as women treat each other. I hate to sound dramatic but I felt sorry for them.
Right ! people are crazy
@@FolaAdetola-su1elr u dumb
I had a lady accuse me that my hair was fake (I have 3b/3c curls). She couldn’t fathom that 1. Real curls exist, 2. That I actually like my hair because surely I should hate it? She just kept going and saying I’ve never seen hair or real hair like that?! I’ve never been more irritated in my life. In the end I just got up and left and thought there’s no point trying to convince her.
That’s her way to take the attention off of you to give herself attention. But insecurity is impressive to other insecure people. Intelligent and classy people will see her as being obnoxious / ignorant.
If their mouths don’t say it, their eyes surely will! 💅🏽
This!
Yes, I get this alot❤!!
Sometimes people just stand out!
exactly!
Also, being pretty you feel this pressure to be nice to everyone, its exhausting because ppl think you are mean. I had an ex once say before we spoke he just assumed I was some pretty mean girl and I said wait why, he said he didnt know. Anyway, Trying to appease to ppl and smiling and being nice it blaaaa..tiring....now I dont care, I wear my lipstick and do my own cute thing.
True , i think it could be stereotype ?
It’s like they hate to give a real pretty girl validation. I love and appreciate the ones who come up and give compliments though
yessssss omg! I feel like some people get SO ANGRY when an actual pretty girl gets even more validation. i feel like thats why some people will purposely ignore you when youre pretty. they dont want to give you any more validation 😂
Thank the Heavens for this space for women who experience similar things. I was feeling alone in this drama for a long time 😂
yes! I have more pretty privilege videos coming soon!
@@ExoticalsUnited love to hear it!
I’ve caught”ex friends”rolling their eyes at me NUMEROUS times like if I pull out a mirror and put on lipstick..or fix my hair. Ridiculous. I’m so over it.
Thé energy you have to put into focusing on someone that much
I find that extremely weird when folks stare or give the eye roll. When I see other pretty women I may compliment them. Sometimes it might be on an outfit or even a hair style that I like. I'll glance and then compliment. They stand out and I go about my way. ❤
Right ! A truly confident woman doesn’t mind complimenting or befriending another pretty girl
Yes i compliment too,
Those that eyeroll you or make bad comments to make you insecure are not my type of ppl , ugh hate those types
The staring definitely gives me a confidence boost but I also developed social anxiety because of it going back to grade school. People have always stared at me like I'm an alien 😂
yes at first it used to give me social anxiety like is something wrong with me? am i deformed? is there something in my teeth? but now i just embrace it because life is too short to worry about what others think of me. also I just smile at people if i see them looking at me.
This is so validating… I never considered myself beautiful but I can totally relate to this. My eyes were really opened when I dated this guy and the amount of attention he got for being with ME said it all. Men and little boys would dap him up, give him fist bumps and head nods… he said we were at Walmart and as soon as this man turned the corner, he stopped in his tracks and his mouth fell open. Plus all of the dirty looks from women… when I look in the mirror I can clearly see my flaws, so some of the attention and stares ignite my social anxiety. I find myself dressing down, or wearing a mask to become invisible. Thank you for this video, it’s healing ❤
It’s refreshing to see other pretty women. It’s hard carrying the weight in every room 😭.
😂💯
It really is refreshing! I love seeing other pretty women 😂❤
i agree !
Bahahahhaha
When both of y'all get hated on together 😂
As a 49-year-old black woman in good shape, well dressed, yes, I get stared at and people walk up and compliment me.
When people stare at you, STARE BACK AT THEM!
Exactly 😂
I remember I was talking to a guy who went out of his way to let me know that 1. I’m not light skin (in about Rihanna color) 2. He was not jealous of me 3) I was skinny and that wasn’t his type… mind you he’s always looking at me and my outfits and liked how I looked everyday.
Omg I had an unambiguous black guy try to randomly tell me that he doesn’t date LS girls because they’re crazy, and that he had a fully black cousin who was lighter than me 😂 I’m fenty 300-310. he was trying so hard to humble me 😂 later he admitted that he was jealous that I would be taken on dates for free and that men had to pay ☠️
It took me over 20 years to accept the stares. This is a daily experience for beautiful women. It used to be to be very uncomfortable but you learn to accept that you’re gorgeous which is not THAT COMMON in everyday settings. It does boost my confidence when I’m feeling down about my life though..with all the constant stares I’m like well at least God made be beautiful. 🙏🏽 That’s something to be grateful for 😅🙏🏽
Im 27 very shy maybe ill own it ,
I hv like banging body too on top of cute face lol
But im 4 feet , but still a baddie 😅😂
Hi, I have a question. Do you get the stares if you dress down or wear no makeup ? Should we always be very elegant and glamourous ? 🤔
@Kazouchan I look homeless sometimes and get Stared at more 😂 even flirted with
@@yoursismeya " homeless "😂
I find that there are two types of looks. The first, of “oh wow, she’s so pretty.” And it’s more of a look of admiration, usually from someone who is confident and likely pretty as well. The second, of “oh, she’s so pretty. I wish I was pretty like that. She probably thinks she’s all that, so I don’t like her.” Usually this look comes from someone who is insecure, not as pretty, and therefore view you as competition. Or even if they are pretty, they are insecure, and, jealous of other women. Me, I fall into the former category of admiring pretty girls, when I see them, and looking at them with a smile. But then again, I’ve always been more of an Uplifter than someone who speak to break people down.
Right ! I just look at girls and smile at them, or I walk right up to them and I’m like you’re so pretty!
Yes same me too i look n smile or compliment
Some will hate you if you look good
Facts. I’m older and that really throws people off when they find out my age. It’s like . No way you’re that pretty at almost 40. 😂
Yes! I can’t wait until I’m almost 40 for this reason! I’m excited to get older because I’m gonna look good
@@ExoticalsUnitedheck yeah you will! 40 doesn’t mean we have to be “ugly” now lol.
This is 10 times worse as a woman of colour? And well spoken? They literally start glitching 😂😂😂😂.
I turned 40 in Sep and found that I get better looking and more confident with age.
Love it!
I have the comparison looks, the eye rolls, the "grip man closer"/block him from seeing me, the is your hair real instead of just complimenting. I've had a checkout woman give me a compliment about my hair and a jealous woman behind me made a comment saying otherwise. There's no doubt in my mind, being shapely and naturally pretty has always been a reason for women to hate me before they even get to know me. I hid it a lot when I was younger.
This is so true. I had to change churches a year ago due to the constant stares and aggression from some girls at a Bible study. You would think that church would be a safe space but no. It can happen everywhere which is exhausting🤷🏾♀️. Thanks for posting this sis! Stay pretty!! ❤
Whew it is exhausting, I was walking down the isle at work and one coworker jump up and shouted “This is not a fashion show” I was so embarrassed but I get it now.
What’s even crazier is for me, most of the time the insecure girl is equally or even more attractive but they still choose to be mean… it’s just sad honestly.
I was standing in line once and the girl infront of me turned her whole body around and stared at me the whole time
😂😂😂😂
That's insane😮
I was in Five Guys yesterday and it was this elderly white couple in front of me. The wife kept turning around looking back at me…no words just eyeing me. As soon as her husband glanced back at me ….ion know why but baby girl was hugged under her man tight. And she kept looking back at me. Baby what am I gonna do with a grandpa except take his money. Ew. 🤮
For me, it's always been a comparison/ inspiration thing. When I see a pretty woman, I don't have any bad feelings towards her, but I always question myself, like "why can't I look like that, why can't I be that?" And then I imagine what it would be like to be her. Since I have been working on myself that has shifted more towards inspiration, where I realize that being beautiful is a choice, and it requires you to have discipline and put effort into yourself. Every now and then when I am at the gym and I see another girl with a better body than me, I immediately start to feel bad, but then I remember, "Rome was not built in a day," and I know my time will come when I finally can look how I feel on the inside. Anyways, sorry for the long post!
I remember a story where a woman was jumped while getting some chicken wings simply because she was beautiful! They were jealous of her. It’s a very lonely, scary world when you’re beautiful.
Is the story on the internet ?
yes thats why im glad we at least have an online space where we can congregate
Link to the story? Please
...3 words. License to carry😂😂
Carry Mace! I encourage all women, get some mace!!
STARES ALL OF THE TIME WHEN I GO OUT!
It’s crazy, I used to hangout more and what stopped me was my so called friends getting upset that I was well put together. Hair cute outfits etc. it got so ridiculous when we would make plans they would quickly say I’m only wearing jeans and a Tshirt though. Like ok I didn’t ask what you were wearing lol or they’d hawk eye their bfs to see if they were looking at me. I definitely stopped going out. Now I only have two friends that ask what I’m wearing and try to match my vibe which I appreciate. And the stares! My god I always feel like I must have stains on my clothes 😂 I rarely get compliments just weird looks and plenty of attitude smh. Anyway, I feel seen here. Thank you ❤
Omgg i finally dont feel crazyy anymore! Everywhere i go i get the craziest looks! My husband finally noticed 2 weekend's ago at a restaurant a girl straight up stared at me looking me up and down, i then made eye contact with her and just stared at her locking eye contact for like 5 seconds 😂 then she made the ugliest face and walked away lol!! My husband seen the whole thing and finally believes me. I hate going out places for this very reason.
Yes i also dont feel crazy 😅😂
I feel you. It's sad but I kind of don't like going out much because of how people act. My husband always invites me to his outings with co workers but I'm hesitant because the girls act mean and the guys act scared to acknowledge my presence. I like to go out and have fun but I always feel isolated or on guard now. I know i shouldn't let others make me feel that way but it's hard having fun with people who act weird like that.
One thing I appreciate about my husband is that he peeps the hate I receive and is very protective of me. Sometimes he sees it before I do. Lol
Lmao I was in Vegas with my husband and his guyfriends one of them had a gf and she asked me if my hair was real I said yes and I gave worn hair extensions for years also. She looked down and disappointed in herself lol
My daughters had many of the problems you talk about. Now I understand them better. Thanks
6:39 This is so true. At my workplace, I started wearing a kinky straight wig and I got compliments by some of my coworkers. Days later as I continue wearing it, one coworker randomly asked me if it was my real hair as I was just walking around the workplace minding my own business.
omg wow! im not surprised! i remember one time i came into work with one of my many wigs. that day i had a very bright blonde curly wig on (like literally taylor swifts hair color). i then realized that my blonde wig was more vibrant than my white blonde coworkers hair lol. then when we had a finance meeting later someone complimented my hair and the white lady was like "thats not your hair is it?" LMAO 🤣 its as if people just HAVE to know your beauty secrets so they can try to use the tips for themselves
All my life people have asked if my real hair was fake and when I tell them no some have asked to put their hands in my hair..: um hell no
It was probably a black person who asked.
@@loiswebster2171 Actually, they were hispanic.
I hate it when they come up and invade my space and stand right beside me. I leave . I csn feel the hate
Yes at a batroom, restaurants n stuff
I stare a pretty women because I admire beauty! xoxo
Same! Women are the flowers of the world 🌎. I LOVE looking at/observing flowers, just by being 🌸
That's creepy? ,okay seeing for like sometime? ,but just keep staring???
As a “pretty girl” I love to give compliments to other pretty girls but when they are surrounded by lots of people it’s intimidating to go up to them so I stare😢. But on the other hand i can’t take a compliment and people always come up to me and tell me that I’m pretty but due to my upbringing it’s hard to believe. 😔
That’s ok! I usually look at girls And smile to show that I am being nice !
@@ExoticalsUnited :)
I like this perspective on why people stare. It can be a good thing but honestly I’ve dealt with this for as long as I can remember.
I don’t mind the little glances but when people just blatantly stare without looking away, it creeps me out. You would think that at some point it’s something you’d get used to, but it doesn’t make me feel comfortable.
I’ve had girls roll their eyes at me when all I did was walk in the room. I never understood it because I don’t think I’m the prettiest girl.
There are plenty of other pretty girls so why am I getting this type of response but I learned over time that it’s not just your beauty, it’s your aura, your femininity, your confidence, and the way you carry yourself.
Some of us just naturally stand out without meaning to and it draws a lot of people to us. We get attention whether it’s wanted or not. Sometimes I just don’t want to be bothered.
I’ve never cared for the attention because I have an introverted side to me so there were times I just wanted to be in the background but would still stand out. Then you have those insecure people who feel the need to humble you.
I think the thing about being beautiful is that you attract everyone so you have to be selective about who you allow to have access to you. Whether that’s access to your time, your energy, your space.
I can see how the stares would make someone feel self conscious. I know it makes me feel that way at times.
I've noticed catty behavior due to my picture on the Teams app at work. I noticed when ppl see me at the zoom meeting, they like wow you really like that. 😂😂😂
Omg yes! People get jealous over freakin profile pictures 😂😂😂
OMG! Yes! I had the same experience with my job.😅 I work remotely for a brokerage firm. I've been there for a few months and I haven't been to the actual office yet. The only one who had seen me was the funds manager who hired me. Apparently, he told the ladies at the office that he had hired a "gorgeous" new broker. OMG! Why did he do that?!😩🤦
When I signed onto the zoom meeting, which hadn't started yet, everyone was chatting with eachother. Then, you could've heard a pin drop as soon as I turned my camera on. Now, my photo is attached to my emails, so they've all seen my picture via email correspondence. But when I turned that camera on, it was like I was in a damned twilight zone.🥴😳 Then, one of the ladies finally broke the silence and said, "Oh. You really do look like your picture." As if they thought I had photo-shopped it or something.
Then, the deuche funds manager, who is a MARRIED MAN, is just sitting there grinning. These m€n are such sh*t starters sometimes.🤭 Anyway, I decided on that day that I wouldn't be attending any in-office functions unless they were absolutely mandatory. Those women already feel some type of way about me, and our childish manager is excited about seeing some potential drama amongst the women.🙄
@@sophiam9886I work remotely like you. We also use Teams. I work in government and I do not post my picture up in Teams and we dont have to show our faces in meetings. Like you, I also have never attended any person meetings unless they are mandatory other than that I do not attend. No can do. My coworkers have no clue what I look like. I refuse to deal with that mess. I never go to any in person meetings and dont plan on going and only if it is mandatory. I dont like socializing with coworkers.
Omgosh! Same! I had a nice picture of myself on teams and i wasnt feeling the energy i was getting so i took it down and i put a picture of my cat up! Never will i ever use my picture for a work profile again😅
Honestly, it’s best to react to situations like a public figure / celebrity. Because you are in a way. So either you ignore it or acknowledge it politely.
I’m white, I have short blonde hair, and I look like Twiggy. Especially from women, but also younger men I feel that jealousy and hatred a lot. A lot. Especially younger men go out of their way to put me down.
Yes they’re trying to humble you because they know they don’t have sexual access to you
Try being the prettiest sister amongst a group of girls that share the same mother, but different fathers. I’m the oldest and have a different father from my two sisters (they share the same father). My father is Puerto Rican and their father is black American. I went through hell growing up with my mother, sisters, aunts, and grandmother. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I understood they was mean to me because they are jealous. My son was bragging about my hair at thanksgiving gathering and my sister started crying and showing him pictures of IG models with long hair. She’s such a weirdo.
my exwife's dad had 3 baby mothers and she was the middle kid. her sister was younger and not attractive at all, so the mother absolutely hated my exwife
BECAUSE WE MAKE PEOPLE FEEL JOY! OR OUR CONFIDENCE PERPLEX THEM!
That too! ✨️💛✨️It's also jealousy sometimes, though.
They be staring hard but ain't nobody giving them the attention they want.
I ignore, go on with my life and they just keep staring hoping to have a piece of my vibe.
Damn, whenever i see someone that's pretty, I tell them or cheer for them on the sidelines.
Exactly!
Thankyou. My husband thinks im crazy i dont ever really leave the house. We feel the eyes we meet the stares. Its so annoying/uncomfertable.
Girl me too!
Hugs😢
Aww I know how you feel. Im determined not to continue to let it stop me from going out and enjoying myself. Im going to put on my cutest sexiest outfits and have fun. Let them be mad😂
I go through this, I lowkey have trauma from this lol. People are envious.
Right, a lot of stares cause social anxiety
@@ExoticalsUnited that part! horrible social anxiety 😣😣
I hv serious trauma too
The stares and snarls make me so uncomfortable along with the comments made about my hair. I have really long hair and constantly get weird unecessary comments from women about "cutting it off" or how "hard it must be to manage" ..it never ends. They even observe and stare at what you eat.
What about the people ( especially men) that see you often and are literally always staring at you but never say anything? It drives me crazy cause the stares are so obvious
Idc as long as they dont talk to me ,
Im in third world country here they might insult you on street , slap your butt , block the road , talk to you , become passive agressive , or even stalker type ..
My worst fear is attracting a stalker 😂
Been stared at my whole life but some folks who are intimidated act like I'm not even there lol
Exactly !
This!!! This happens all the time lol
Yes! People will talk to my husband, friends, even my kids like I'm not there. Lol. They avoid eye contact
This channel made me see that I really used to go out of my way to prove that I am humble about my looks in an effort to not seem like I support colorism but celebrating my God given appearance is not wrong!!!
My darkskin exotical grandmother (she has two black parents but with some possible admixture) always told me how beautiful I am and warned me about jealousy from others as she is extremely beautiful as well. Walking out into the world, I ALWAYS get a compliment. I have never gone a week in my life without receiving a compliment, mostly for my hair but when I wear a fake pony or bun up my hair I am then complimented for my smile or skin. A few years ago a roommate (UABW) told me that most people dont get to experience that. That a compliment is a rare occurrence, let along stares…
This is the first time I have heard online discourse about the shared experiences with the general staring or knowing that Black men will catcall or stare, and all the attention we get our way. Discussing this online in the past would have never gotten anywhere since we get dismissed so fast. In IRL, i have only discussed this occurrence with close friends where I am seen as an actual human being and individual and not being accused of putting myself on a pedestal. Thank you for this safe place to discuss our experiences. It is hard to constantly sort the genuine compliments from the creepy stares from the backhanded compliments and everything in between. We did not ask to be in the constant state of awareness of others’ energy, but if we discuss this online, this is what we “deserve” since we want the “preferential treatment”. Yes, i selected my phenotype to receive preferential treatment 🙄. Lastly, since reclaiming the word “exotical” I’ve really been feelin’ myself🥰💕
Yet everytime I call myself beautiful I get told that I am ugly. I get bullied so bad because sometimes just because I am beautiful. I have also noticed that some people have less patience with me because they feel that a pretty girl like me gets everything handed to me.
You literally look like a doll, so ignore those that don’t know how to appreciate beauty
Thank you for this video ❤️ I’ve been needing someone to say this out loud. No one will admit that they are truly this insecure, jealous and disgusting. I’ve had my days when I may not have felt super pretty, but I’ve never dreamed of trying to pick someone else apart to feel better. That’s SO weird and sad. ALSO, I don’t believe any of the stares are with good intentions to “copy” your beauty. Truthfully, no one needs to ask you about what you do to emulate you. If you like my eye colors, go get contacts. If you like my hair texture, buy one similar. It’s unnecessary to try to pull you apart just to copy you. That’s BS.
yes i have a video coming up about why pretty women can attract toxic friendships too
@@ExoticalsUnited Thank you! I needed to vent lol. I can’t wait to hear your input. I just experienced the “stare” yesterday for the first time from an acquaintance. These people are so delusional to think they can study you and somehow become you……..as if they are EVER gonna be on your level 🙄 When they should be fixing the things they don’t like about themselves instead!
Humans are naturally attracted to beautiful things. Women stare at butterflies and pick red roses. Babies stare at pretty (faces) and can also sense beauty (spirits). Learned in art school that it's the symmetry that attracts the eye, and it's totally ok. Beauty is inspiring. Beyond that, hate is a choice.
The most crazy thing is when you feel people staring at you in the distance and then you look up and meet eyes 🫥
I always wondered this but who do you ask without seeming pretentious. It has always been an honest question. Thank you for covering this topic.
right! thats why i like having this space because we can finally talk about things that no one wants to admit. i feel like we cant talk about this stuff in real life because people take it like we are bragging or trying to say we are better than them
Exactly
Story of my life but most times it’s creepy not flattering.
Yes like guys at the gym omg 😷
@@ExoticalsUnited the gym they are going to look because it shows we are working on out fitness aka improving out stock which that’s is what they are trying to do by being there.
It’s creepy everywhere like at the mall. Last weekend I was at Lululemon and this white girl was just staring at me and what I was buying. She a heavier girl but was grilling me because the clothes I bought were all size 2 to 4.
I could feel her energy it was very unsettling.
People stare at me so hard that even when I make it known like “hey, I see you staring…like it’s enough now” they don’t care, they stare harder 😭
I know you hear it a lot but you are extremely gorgeous
😂😂😂
@@thesevenkingswelove9554 awwwe thank youu!!! 💗🫶🏾
@@thesevenkingswelove9554 thank youuuu!!! 💗💗💗
I had an older friend who noticed this in my life as well and she used to just tell me, "People stare for two reasons; 1. You're ugly or 2. You're pretty." Plain and simple. 😂I said well damn. At this point in my life I'm used to it. Men women and children do it but I KNOW I have light in me so there's that too. That's the main reason. I'm full of light😆
I once had a frenemy that would only point out when guys that were not-so-aesthetically-pleasing to the eye would stare at me. I told her to stop because it made me uncomfortable and gave me anxiety to which she ignored and continued to do it (my God was she a hater) 🙄 But now that I’m older I’ve graduated to a new level of petty where I will stare back and we can both be uncomfortable in this space. 😂
I’ve been stared at my whole life! It’s something I never felt comfortable talking about but it exists in my world…at 45 I’ve just gotten used to it to it-accepted it…happens due to jealousy or admiration for sure
omg yes! i feel like we cant talk about this topic without being accused of being concieted.
You’re super gorgeous I see why they stare lol
It’s a very weird feeling and even tho I never get used to it… I just ignore it
@@kiathevixxenthank you so much and so are YOU! ❤
@@TracyShereee no problem love and thank you 🥰
YOU ARE DEEPER THEN BEAUTIFUL, A MIRROR DOES NOT REFLECT THE DEPTHS OF YOU ! VEIW YOURSELF IN THE IMAGE OF WHICH WATER REFLECTS YOU TO BE(IF ITS POSSIBLE). CELEBRATE YOU ALL !
Omg yess people stare at me all the time especially on the train & it’s mostly white women and sometimes they stare so hard it’s lowkey annoying to me
Yesss , they do !😂
I hate the question is your hair real!
right! 😂😂 why does it matter?
I ask that but its not from a hate place , its like is your hair real , it looks unbelivably amazing 😮,
I might say it looks so beautiful,
There r positive n negative reactions , not everyones a hater , some r admirers some r haters
I wear sunglasses and/or a mask out in public. Less problems so far. But men are still creeps. 😩😩
Omg yes, i used to use a mask as a form of protection as well 😂
@@ExoticalsUnited 😂😂 You know about it! 🌹
Staring is rude. I’m always like 🤨 wtf you want?
Lately I have been doing this and its been working like a charm 😂
Yep!
same lol
I got your video recommended and I realised that being an Indian I felt like Indian guys stare at everyone. Even though I get stares from random people almost everyday, I still don't feel like I'm pretty or special in any way.
Hi fellow Indian girl here :)) yes Indian guys stare at everyone but you are genuinely so pretty ( i saw ur profile) lol don’t humble yourself
Yeah, the dirty looks have increased after being a mom. Going to indoor playgrounds, I get tons of frowns from other moms, even pretty ones themselves!
How dare I remain thin, slim in the waistline, productive and energetic after pregnancy, giving birth, and caring for my toddler? Especially after 30?
You’re right - everything comes down to comparison. While I never judge them, they channel that comparison, judging themselves for “letting themselves go,” not staying fit, being tired, and seeing their husbands glancing at me.
Like in Olivia Rodrigo’s song, “their beauty is not my like,” and I’m not here to make anyone feel bad when they’re doing that to themselves.
I can totally relate to this video. In my freshmen year of high school there's was this girl who was in one of my classes and she would STARE the LIFE OUTTA ME!! Her havening naturally big bug eyes didn't make it any better. I was VERY introverted, and barley talked to anyone. I would be minding my own business and would randomly look up and she would be there staring at me. I didn't know what made me so interesting that she would just stare but i just brushed it off. As her maybe having a staring problem. Other than that, our interactions were cool just brief conversation. But one day I was in class and my teacher was playing a game on the board so i moved closer so i could see. I sat in front of her, and she jerked and moved away from me saying "hell naw" like i was some germ or something. The kids who were sitting at the table with her laughed. I was so confused even though we weren't friends i thought we were cool. I ignored her comments because i knew how i could get in confrontations. But I didn't know what i did!?! After a while she stopped making comments when people stopped reacting to her but would STILL STARE!! Now me and her have art together, we have assigned seats, and she sits with me. For a min I thought she was jealous but i couldn't understand a reason for her too be. Now that school is back i have to deal with her any advice or your take about the situation?
she definitley sounds like she is threatened by your appearance. Honestly I would say something to her 😭 but since you're an introvert I guess you can just keep ignoring her and keep being your beautiful self!
@@nilaja5380 Thank you so much for your positive and wise feedback! I can totally relate to people pleasing in order to get others to like me. What you explained i did a lot in my past. But now I've come to the realization that whatever problem people have with me is their problem and not mine. But thank you again stay blessed and pretty!!💞💖
I love the stares , you’re not making me uncomfortable you’re making me feel like a goddess.✨ It took me a long time to get to this point.
However, days when I’m not in the mood I stare right back act their asses and I don’t let up. You want a staring match? Let’s go👁️. The way they flinch and turn their head around so quick 💨😂
This so me😂
😂😂😂😂
I’m tall, slim, long hair, dress nice, wear a little makeup, but people look away when I walk past them. Both men and women. It looks like they go out of their way to not acknovledge me. It hurts, because it made me believe I must be hideous. I was bullied when growing up, I used to be a little chubby. My confidence is rock bottom. I never get stares, people look away or look down. I see them looking at other women. I’m never approached, I might be ugly, I dont know. I’m definetly invisible 😅
I wear sunglasses to avoid this. No, I just love them. 😂❤
Lmao I wanna to grocery nearby looked messed up 😭🤣🤣people start like what u looking at . Idk people randomly make eye contact with me even at everywhere I go . I worked with this girl she started at me 24 hours with attitude nd one day I asked co- worker Lmao the whole time she mad cause she think I will take her boyfriend 🤦♀️ sis I ‘m living freely I hv no Energy for negative thoughts . She nd I are friends now nd cool .
I LOVE this channel. Last year something traumatic happened to me and it completely ruined my confidence. My supposed “best friend” had already been making snide remarks toward me but this occurrence gave her more fuel for her not-so-subtle insults. Especially after I found a bf (she’s perpetually single and I guess she assumed the same would happen to me). It took me a while to come to terms with her being jealous of me and finally cut her off. The last straw for me was her making remarks about my weight (I gained stress weight bc of events and also started college which does more stress) while we were at the gym (she’s a lot heavier than me also…). She constantly tried to humble me and this channel is helping me remember who I am and will always be ; a pretty ass girl!
When I was young I used to get this alot and yes mean jealous women are a trip they will stare you down then roll their eyes etc I'm older now so those days are in the past for me now.
I appreciate your Insight. Most of my life I've been trying to blend in and now I see there's a whole other way to look at it.Thanks
Omg i have ppl stare at me for no reason many times and I am MGM. Some nasty looks and some with curious look. I have anxiety and I am on the autism spectrum. Some do roll eyes. This is from people of many colors.. Staring is SOO uncomfortable to me. 😖
People always ask me if my hair is real 😂 like they think black girls hair can be long 🙄especially your own black folks. And people do be looking at me a lot they’ll never tell me I’m pretty on my face they just stare at me and some times make me keep wiping my face thinking there’s something on my face. I’m already tall 5’7 and skinny so they see me a lot.
Yes omg !
10k baby 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉. You better act up!!!!!!!❤❤❤
Yes! The exoticals have United ! we’re not going anywhere baby! we are popping in the algorithm now ! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
I’ve had to deal with this all of my life, I’ve even had to deal with it from my relatives 🙄 every time I’d come around for the holidays they would just sit there and stare like they’ve never seen me before and when I’d say hello 👋🏿 I’d get no response 🙄 they’d just continue to stare. I also have a dark skinned friend that only hangs around with light skinned black women and recently we’ve become estranged and she will randomly send old pictures of me because she wants us to start hanging out again and when she called me on FaceTime she kept asking me to turn the camera on so she could see me 🤔 we’ve been friends for 13 years but now that I’m older I’ve realized that she is colorist.
I have dealt with funny attitudes from people in my own family and it’s not a good feeling . I don’t care about the stranger stares
@@blasiankiki7831me too and I was just a child, receiving hate from my adult cousins, it was so confusing because I was met with so many micro aggressions because they knew that they really didn’t have a reason to hate me but for other than what I looked like. I just don’t come around them anymore, my peace is more important.
You know what’s interesting
I just realized that me being heavier allows me to kind of be invisible when I walk in lot a room
Not that heavier women aren’t beautiful but a lot of men tend to gravitate to smaller women initially until they get wind of my personality then it’s back to business 🤷🏽♀️
But what I’m saying is that I’m actually realizing how women don’t just not like me for no reason….or feel some type a way because I’m cool with their man …. They don’t trip as much … but before … I would have enemies I ain’t even know about
Being heavier has really allowed me PEACE without dudes coming at me all the time …& I Lowkey LOVE that❤❤❤
it's crazy...I try to be mindful of that, even though I get insecure about looks as well. But how can you be so rude to make others uncomfortable??
Ppl stare at me EVERYWHERE I go, & in my honest opinion I’m just an average looking non-mixed black woman! I can’t determine if it’s bcuz they think I’m funny looking or if I just have something on that looks nice & modest, or just my hair(& I’m not the type to wear unnatural exotic colors in my hair) !
But i just can NEVER put my finger on it. 🤣
I’ve received a lot of hate for being a brown skin with wavy hair
I know myself I’m the admiration type woman and I’m confident to go with respect and mannerable approach to tell a woman she beautiful I don’t care what race or color I’m woman empowerment advocate. It’s been times mostly women again no matter the race or color I always been compliment by women. I just wish women would stop trying to compete with other women
i recently started working as a patient care tech at a pretty large hospital in my hometown. this is in a suburban town that is predominantly white. yes, my make up is done, hair is laid, and my femininity is potent. the stares i get from people especially the nurses is very unsettling. they’re piercing stares and they won’t even speak which makes it more uncomfy lol. i think i may have some issues working on my unit, simply bc of my blackness and attractiveness. i’m glad i came across your video bc it may help me to understand how to navigate these types of women, especially white women in the workplace.
People stare at me all the time. But folks sometimes like to gaslight me like I'm crazy and it's all in my head. I am AA but tend to look VERY racially ambiguous depending on how I style my hair.
Right !
People don't stare at me but I'm watching😂
Omg I get asked this ALOT. In a way, I view it as a compliment. Like my hair looks so nice and shiny (shout out to olive oil + leave in conditioner) they have to think its fake hair.
I also won't lie, when UABW made me feel like I'm "no better than them". I used to be very jealous of mixed girls ( UABW only view light skin looser curl girls as mixed). They even looked similar to me but my lens was very skewed man. Now, when I see women whose beauty I want to emulate in myself I just say " OMG SHE'S FUTURE ME." It makes me feel so good about myself plus self hate is a very tiring job so im quitting.
Exactly. There’s nothing wrong about admitting when your own beauty standard is different than yourself. Just become your beauty standard! lol I want to be a size 0 that is my standard for my body. So whenever I see someone that size I’m like Omg I can’t wait until my body looks like that!
I look at beautiful people and if I feel the person is approachable, I tell the person that they’re beautiful. Usually they say I made their day and they get happy. Some people are more awkward.
Yup
Sometimes when I’m fed up and in a mood, I’ll stare back at a death stare and don’t break eye contact. It makes them uncomfortable and they look away 😂
Yes, sometimes i stare back and sometimes i ignore them or say hello sometimes. Like GOODBYE
Girl this has happened to me my whole life. When i was 14 boys started noticing me. Not because of my body cause i didnt grow into it until later adulthood but because i dyed my hair and it was thick beauty and healthy .i alsi had beautiful skin and never had acne etc one of my classmates had the nerve to ask me if my hair is real, mind you i have looser curly textured hair and you can clearly see my real hair color growing out of my head. I was appalled. 😅Girls were drawn to me cause halo effect but a lot of girls were jealous. Dont get me wrong i still have my struggles but i carry myself like a runway model and people look at me like so. Mindset really is key. Ill admit coming from both sides of envy and being envied by other women ive dealt with it and understand it however its about handling it the right way. Its wrong to hate another girl for her beauty. It isnt something she can control she was born that way
Tried to tell my mixie daughter this, so I'm sending her this video! Maybe you can explain it better than me!
Don't put this bullshit on her brain.
I compl agree. A lot people examine me. Especially for the saying black don't crack. I never thought of it as jealousy, more as curiosity
I get it now, makes sense.If I do stare, I acknowledge the person. Everyone is beautiful.
I love the attention that I receive, but at the same time I hate it. Oh yeah by the way I love your channel I feel like I can relate to it so much xoxo
Yay! Thanks for watching beautiful!
I've gotten stares by little black girls who are intrigued with my features. There was an older dsbm who was walking very slowly by at at the ymca while I was working online while my grandmother was doing aerobics, he was very creepy to me.
omg yes!
stay safe.
I’m used to the stares from ugly people and haters but what about when it comes from another beautiful woman? Sometimes I get weird energy from a woman who looks good too and it’s like they get mad they’re not the hottest thing in the room😂 but I don’t even be worried about that stuff I’m just living my life and walked in the room, now we beefing? Lol
Yes I mentioned that. Those are the women who are comparing themselves to you and sizing you up
@@ExoticalsUnited ahh yes you did. Ok so more haters, gotcha.
Yes girl I’ve dealt with the same. They see you as a threat pretty much. I had one girl who would try to jump in front of me in group photos and the other girls in the group had to tell her to move out of my way. We had just met and she was pretty herself so I didn’t understand it. She wanted to be the pretty one in the group and then I came along so yeah the insecure ones see you as competition. They don’t want to share the spot light lol. I don’t think that way so it took me time to understand it myself.
at this point i just take it as a compliment 😂 it used to make me feel hella weird but now that i’m more confident about myself i just smile 😊
Thank you for creating this channel. I am so tired of the WORLD ascribing everything BAD and evil to beautiful women, yet, all women spend their earnings trying to look good. The envy and jealousy is "through the roof".
I always pray to God for protection from envy, malice or evil. But i have a natural resting bitch face. I hope other women dont identify my face as hateful. I naturally look a bit stressed. I dont ever roll my eyes at people though.