I'm Scared About My Father-In-Law's Financial Future
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2021
- I'm Scared About My Father-In-Law's Financial Future
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Dave’s pause then saying “I think you’re more upset about this than anybody else on the planet” was perfect
I'll be fair to the father-in-law, if he's only paying $250 a month rent, why would he buy a house? Yes a house helps you build wealth, however, you're not going to buy a house for $250 a month
Well it is 250 a month for a trailer so.. Not very fancy
@@Juhiss93 it doesn't matter if it is fancy or not. Apparently is fancy enough for the father-in-law enough so that he will actually live there. At the end of the day, for cheap enough rent I would stay at a less than ideal place instead of buying. It is a financial calculation after all
I think she said he wasn't going to be able to live in the $250 a month place anymore and was talking about buying a house.
250 a month won’t even cover my taxes and insurance so 250 it is I’d love to have a home for 250 a months it sounds like a joke and that number is unreal 250 a month Come on man
@@catrinlewis939 that might be so, but she was critical of him for having lived somewhere for $250 a month for two or three decades instead of buying a house. I am going to humbly suggest that if you are able to lose somewhere for multiple decades for $250 that you should live there instead of buying. You should have plenty of money to save at that point. I don't know how much she made, I don't know how much he frittered away. All I can guarantee is there's no way he could have purchased a house for $250 a month. And there's no guarantee that he would have kept up with say a $800 a month mortgage. I do know that he had $550 a month savings that he should have been able to salt away.
My whole point is I think she is being critical of the wrong thing. I don't blame the father-in-law for renting for $250 a month. He found a great deal, apparently he was comfortable living there. That being said, he should have been able to easily save hundreds of dollars a month. That is what I would criticize him for not that he rented for 20 or 30 years. He would have been an idiot not to rent.
The man is paying $250 a month to rent a house. $90k over 30 years … he doesn’t need to be making gains on his investments because his cost of living is NOTHING
I agree ,he is fine,
She isn't worried about the old man. She's worried that she's going to have to support him.
selfish reasons.
Same thing on this level.
@@petecheng1 why is that selfish?
@@petecheng1 Her father-in-law is a grown up. It's not her responsibility to take care of him when he pays the consequences of his own mistakes.
@@petecheng1 uh, there's nothing selfish about worrying that a relative might jeopardize your own future.
he hasn't ask you for a penny, let him live his life... 68 with cancer... give him a break. and relax.
He’s doing better than 50% of Americans who cant even cover a 1k emergency
@Magnus Red c’mon the media wouldn’t lie about that.
@Magnus Red not fake at all. I think I saw where over half the country has less than $400 in the bank
I have a 1 million dollar emergency fund.
Amen!
Low bar to clear honestly. We need higher standards as a society.
$250 a month rent? I would have been a millionaire before the age of 25. A total steal.
There are some people I've seen getting on this woman's case, but she is not judging her father-in-law for the way he lives his life. She is worried she and her husband will have to support him because he has made financial decisions that worry her.
Thinking the same. Basic reality. I wouldnt want that either.
He's not your child.. don't worry about him. He's not your problem to deal with. You're not his savior or protector should he go broke.
He's not my problem...so I'm worried sick about him!
But it WILL be her problem when he’s old and sick and unable to care for himself, guess who’s job it will now be? HERS. She will be spending all her time cleaning up after him, doing his meds, making room for him in her house.
I'm guessing the dad doesn't even WANT this lady's help.
Karens know they have to impose on others, regardless of what anyone else wants.
I think he’s assuming that once he blows through his money, he will guilt his son and daughter in law into letting him live with them and support him.
@@hollyb6885 why would she assume this?
@@imveryhungry112 I didn’t say “she” is assuming.
The caller makes $130k a year, is broke and concerned about a family member. Come on man!
She really needs to stay in her own lane.If she and her DH are in a financial mess, she needs to focus on that. She's overly emotional about something that's not a huge concern of hers. Dave is giving good advice here.
Some callers man i swear lol
@@matthewgardner2144 Except that a financially needy parent tends to become the child's problem once the money runs out.
@@lynnebucher6537 She's financially needy herself. They have income, but negative NW.
Right and the father in law is doing better than she is,he is living a good life 👍🏿
100K in the bank + $1500(average) in social security every month is not that bad.
randomsup3r, I could appreciate $1,500 per month, but in a paid-for house.
@@jdstep97 That's the point the caller was making. He frittered away a lot of money during the 20 years he had $250/month rent payments.
What, are you kidding me! Inflation is going to eat 100K
Parents will YOLO away their money then drag down their kids financially
AKA, Asian parents.
Srsly, they literally all have done this to anyone I know who is Asian.
you poor kid
$250/month is a steal for rent. Property taxes and maintenance might be close to that amount a month if he buys.
He still has money in the bank and sounds like he can afford his lifestyle. He probably shouldn't have that many cars but if he has 100k in the bank it should cover it.
I pay $250 at Home Depot for general maintenance items every month
Dave says it’s hard to watch someone you love do … She’s not calling out of concern for father-in-law. She is worried her husband is going to agree to support his dad, and it will torpedo her dreams. Her discussion should be with the husband about setting boundaries on how much to help dad.
Exactly. this is all about her.
Maybe he doesn't even need help. He seems like he's doing ok.
@@eckankar7756Why should someone give up their hope, dreams, fun, etc because some fool can't manage their money or didn't prepare to save for the future? I agree with her.
Most adults 30-40 are getting ready to deal with this problem
What problem is that exactly?
Welp not a problem until you want to retire but your parent need help financially.
@@lowtolerancelevel3776 boomers who spent every dime they had and never saved for retirement... not necessarily this call because he sounds like he is genuinely living within his means, but SHE isn't happy with his life.
parents mooching off their kids
I worry about this also. Parsnts running out of money is a concern
He's staying in a $250/month apartment. Seems like he understands his living situation. His SS check likely pays for his rent and food.
She also said he's losing the apartment and will be staying in a trailer until he "figures it out".
and Guns.
My man has his priorities straight. Gotta buy a gun to protect them jet skies.
Exactly!! Smart man
You scared 😳 but is your father in law scared he thinks he living has best life 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Other people's finances aren't our responsibility. Unless you already signed the POA. So don't sign the POA!
“One of the most painful things that we all go through as adults is watching people we care about be stupid.
Cause you can’t make them not be stupid.”
I love Dave.
He's an adult... Stop being co-dependent....
@@snatchinitback4635 Look at life in a mirror, not a magnifying glass.
A pathological relationship with a mood altering substance or ACTIVITY
that brings about life damaging consequences.
Step back and let the future happen.
My wife and I collect ~$4700/mo in SSA, plus we have pensions.
We have no retirement savings, and do very well.
People rarely account for it in our retirement plans but statistically speaking, many of us will have to take care of our parents.
Disingenuous fake non-millionaire alert, no one wants to hear your "advice"
Dude I see you in every video I watch
Spam
@@tigerak02 Fake non-millionaire? That’s a double negative.
A one bedroom apartment in my neighborhood is $2000 a month
That’s cute, in Sydney Australia I use to pay $730 a week
Prob renting land for a trailer home
@@callumsmith338 wow. I live in LA. That’s expensive
Hi Dave! Not only did you help us get debt free we just sold our home and bought a tiny house lot in Nathrop Colorado. Now we’re able to invest the rest of the proceeds and look forward to a nice retirement of travel and outdoor adventures! We love our community in Chateau Chaparral and can’t thank you enough for your program! Now we’re loving life instead of just hanging on.
I’ve had this worry once before too, about my own father-in-law, he loves giving money away to scammers from dating sites. At this point if he goes broke and starts asking us for help we’re dead to him. I’m sorry but someone at that age and older should’ve set themselves up for the rest of their lives. That is not your responsibility or your husbands obligation. Morally it’s right to take care of family members but not when they’re irresponsible.
I love listening to those shows, we learn so much! About finances and about LIFE in general
This lady needs to mind her own business. I have been married for almost 16 years. I do not know how much money my 70 year old in laws have in their retirement. If I asked, I would be disowned.
She is concerned that she and her husband are going to end up supporting him if he runs out of money. That is understandable to me.
I think the guy is doing fantastic. "It's not my problem" but you are making it your problem. He is doing just fine doing his thing as he should and maybe take him out for some BBQ on the weekends and enjoy your life with your hubby.
Thank you ,may be she is jealous 😜
Take him to the local area trailer parks in lovely Ocala and point out the window, he may be okay with that. Single men don't need to own a home, he can live in a car it's not impossible.
I don't think this lady is being selfish, I think she has some real worry. I would be worried too if I was working FOUR JOBS to pay for myself to live, and on top of it had to worry about now having to support my husband's father. That being said, just have a straight conversation with him and let him know you cannot afford to support him. My mom sold her house about ten years ago because she couldn't afford to keep it up once my step father died, and she didn't want to do all the work involved. A year ago she talked to me stating she was thinking about selling her almost paid off condo to buy a house with her companion, who is older than her, but he is in good health supposedly. I sat her down and said, you can buy a house if you want with this man, you are a grownup after all, , as long as you understand that if something happens or you or his health goes downhill I will not I CANNOT take care of two houses, so you will be on your own to keep it up, including the snow blowing and yard work. I haven't heard a word about it since and she is still living happily in her easy to maintain condo. I think the best approach is to not be bossy, or tell them what to do, but to make it clear what you will not do.
Not sure why people getting on her case at all. Its a genuine worry. Who wouldnt be?
Can relate; my pop inherited an fortune and gave it away to buddies. Would not consider any professional advice.
My Dad gave it to his caregiver until I stopped it
5:11 Ken loading up for his response 🤣😂🤣
Have to love those In-laws.
She needs to take care of herself and let him be.
This is her and her husband's business only if the FIL is secretly expecting them to foot all his bills once he spends all his savings and his SSI isn't enough to pay for his lodging and care. They need to sit down with him and (gently, tactfully) find out what his plan is.
He's 67. If he's anything like my grandfather he's riding out his final days. He has some money, how is he a failure?
She said social security
SSI is disability for folks who do not have a work history
An 8.5 percent return on investments isn't good? Serious question
is it just me or is this father in law doing ok for himself and as long as he gets social security and pension from now till the day he dies he will not have any issues?
He sounds fine. Caller (she) should pay attention to her own life. Dave is knocking him because he isn't doing Dave's plan.
I agree 100%!! My thing is as long as you are getting ss and he has a pension of some sort he will be fine. You don’t need millions to retire comfortably. I would not by a house if I were him just rent a cheap trailer or a small one bedroom apartment and live my life to the fullest.
No , I feel the same way
@@Ria24Ria exactly , some people just like living simple and it's fine,he is not asking her for anything.
How is he irresponsible? She wants him to stop spending his money so they can have more to inherent. The husband isn't worried bcus he loves his dad more than his dad's money. She should have been calling to get advice on her own financial hole they got themselves in.
I don't agree with her. He's doing alright
Apartment complexes don't generally allow free storage (or any storage) for spare cars, cycles, boats etc.
He'd have to pare down all those toys...
This lady sounds like a Karen. Let him live his life.
And then don’t help him one cent when he asks
She sounds like she checks all the blocks for a Grade A Karen. Middle aged, whiny voice, judges how a man lives his life while being in serious debt herself. All she needs is to be overweight & have the haircut, which I’m sure she has those too.
@@tcgtpl When she said "he thinks buying a gun is a good investment" I knew it was going to be good.... He sounds smart.
@@tcgtpl I can only imagine what you look like and the issues in your life, since you think you have someone you have never met figured out, and you even know what they look like. Unbelievable
@@tcgtpl omg 😂🤣 the imagery is so spot on. Nailed it.
She sounds self righteous, judgmental, and full of her own debt. Study to mind your own business.
YES! Hallmark could have a HUGE success on their hands! The Dave Ramsey Card collection! 🤣🤣🤣
Bad advice to tell someone to possibly enable their in law.
Tell him as nicely as possible, that you’re going to leave him to twist in the wind. If he hasn’t been convinced by now that he has to be better with money, he isn’t gonna.
I've learned NOT to take other grown people concern on top of mine. People need to feel consequences to wake up, don't be an enabler by trying to save someone when you yourself need saving.
In most states it is the children’s responsibility to take care of the parents. I my brother and I took over my dads finances because we didn’t want to be responsible for his final care. Nursing homes are $5000 a month. I am not going to ruin my chances of retirement
@@gtbigdog3507 I applaud you for being wise and doing what's right for your parents.
@@jesuslovesyou916 there is a lot of hard decisions to make when your parents are near the end of life. I spent six months caring for my mom when she had pancreatic cancer. I wouldn’t wish that on my enemies
Boundaries.
$250 a month for rent? id be rich if thats how much my rent was!
Prob renting land for a trailer home
Worry about yourself not your father inlaw
he's not their problem.... he'll have to figure it out on his own.
Lately all households on Ramsey make over 100k / yr.
Yes I noticed that also...everyone is rich these days....
Probably lives in CA or NY with high cost of living.
100k for a couple is pretty easily achievable working at a factory in most areas
don't take him in have the talk now. tell your husband you are NOT taking him in EVER... never ever ever. let your husband know under no circumstances in this world his father ever will live with you in your house. and you have to do what ever you can NOW knowing he CANNOT EVER stay here to prevent it from from happy. its on you now to help him im protecting our immediate family by preventing this, now you need to help your dad handle his business
What if your son told you this when you are old?
@@labornurse i would tell him your right ill do anything to fix this. and boy i will never live with you lord willing and ill never ask im dad i take care of you unless something happends where we come together as a family
Mind your business, stay in your lane. This father inlaw is living below his means and has $100k in savings that sounds like a disciplined man to me, he hasn't asked you for a cent, so mind your business.
Exactly!!!
Wonder how her own parents are doing?
Could that be the problem? this situation is lopsided? hubby refused to help her parents in the past, but now wants to take in FIL? hmmm...
Love the Dave Ramsey card idea 😂🤣
Yeah daddy just enjoy his life! He has 100 K, he could live in a trailer paid it all and just pay utilities he will be fine I’m sure he get some type of Social Security or pension or something enjoy your life Pops!!!
Just let him live his life
Eew, horrible reciprocation. Tried saving it at the end but their faces said it all while she talked.
68 is late to change. But if he has got 100 k, he is not a looser
100k is absolutely nothing these days.
It might buy a house, but then what will he pay for food, insurance, car related expenses, medical for example?
He’s failed to build financial foundations in his life.
I have that and I’m a loser
@@callumsmith338 if you live within your means you will be just fine. I can’t believe you think people you only have 100 k are losers. Most people don’t have that saved up. As long as you have ss coming in and no debt you make your expenses and bills.
@@callumsmith338 You don't need a PILE of money.
My wife and I are +$100K/yr in pensions.
She needs to leave her father-in-law alone and get on with getting rid of their debt. Too bad they did’t ask her how much debt her and her husband have.
I wonder about people who think their kids will take care of them. He isn’t going to change.
Why take care of him, its clear he wasted all his money on vehicles. Let him deal with the consequences.
I'm sure this caller is freaking out because FIL is losing his $250/month housing and doesn't have money sense or much for assets and is likely to end up broke and living with her.
No shame in renting and home ownership isn't for everyone.
Dad will probably be okay.
She’s doing my head in 😂
Karen called again
😂😂😂😂😂
This reminds me of when we rewrote our wills. We asked our adult children, "What do you think of this idea?" They all gave the same answer, "It's your money. Do whatever you want." Well, we kept the real and personal property and about a million-and-a-half in cash and marketable securities in case we later need long-term care but after that did what we thought best.
Also, Dave mentioned about when people we care about are stupid. Who hasn't been stupid? Finally, they're talking like this old guy is being stupid. Maybe has lots of resources and income; they don't seem to know.
She's going to end up losing her career nursing this old guy
You don't worry about it and when he has problems, gee Dad, I'm sorry to hear that. And yeah maybe you can buy groceries once in a while. And that's it.
I wouldn’t take care of someone else parents who clearly are making bad decisions
Lady, mind your own business!! At 68 he is still young, He is an adult and a lot more responsible than you.
* one does not simply use one's retirement savings to find an overseas holiday *
The woman was really over-reacting. It's someone elses life, not hers. If he's paying $250 in rent, he's not doing to badly and it sounds like he just likes his lifestyle the way it is, just except him instead of rejecting him so much. Why would he come live with them if his rent is so cheap?
They're working the baby steps and he has 100k cash.,.... Who's the real winner? People his age call crying all the time they don't have ANY MONEY and he has 100k in the bank. I live in FL and work in insurance. People literally buy houses at 80 with a 30 year mortgage. She needs to relax.
What's everyones opinion of having another personality on each show instead of just Dave? I'm kind of torn.
I like when it’s JUST DAVE
no it's not selfish . the man needs to behave. simple
Another Christina that gets overly worked up and cant calm down. Relax Christina, your father in law just had cancer treatment.... let him live his life a little.. and you should just focus more on yours.. we never know what tomorrow will bring good or bad. life is way to short so give your family a hug and try to let go of trying to control everything. I hope you find some comfort , relaxation and refreshment in the coming day! Best wishes to you and yours!!!
It's like a dog protecting it's food bowl when another dog visits. I don't think she is so concerned about her FIL as she's building a case so he won't interfere in her quality of life down the road. She so oddly laughs through this whole conversation.
Eckanker, spot on!
Karen needs to mind her own business. For all she knows, he's debt free...and his rent is only $250! Meanwhile, she has alot of debt. Dave should be giving her advice about HER situation. The old man is probably doing just fine.
Right,he is doing better than she is
If you had asked how much social security he gets plus his pension--he might be OKAY. If he should need help in 20 years then I would ask--whatever is family for? If they are doing so well --they should help him since they have a good relationship. He is still relatively young and it may be 20 years before he would need anything and he is not asking them for help now anyway. Until he does....she should MYOB.
She doesn't like her father-in-law.
Can’t even imagine how it must feel to rent a trailer with no AC in the middle of the summer in FL. No thanks.
Another 67 year old who NOW wants to buy a house. Idiotic !! People.... SMH
You are so perfect talk nice he a grown up you did thing right did you
you say it's not your problem but yet you are making it your problem with all your anxiety and everything else. Let your husband handle it and wash your hands of him. Not your problem.
Sounds like she wants to control him
She is worried about nothing. It’s not communal property. I would stay out of it. It has nothing to do with her.
Too bad she didn't say how much his monthly income is. If he has a pension on top of his social security he is probably fine.
He sounds fine. Caller (she) should pay attention to her own life.
Her father-in-law doesn't need help and hasn't asked for it.. You can't make someone else do anything. He is allowed to do what he wants. Her father-in-law is in a better position than my in-laws. My in-laws have mortgage payments, car payments and no savings. If/when our parents health fails they can move in with us and after that the nursing home will take their social security. I'm just trying to contribute to my retirement fund so I don't wind up in the same situation as them. My in-laws are of a generation where they don't ask for help. We will, of course help if needed but for now they are fine.
3:55 She answers her own question.
Did she just say renting a house for 250 😱
Trailer?
Yes yes yes I can't control anyone
I gotta side with the FIL, sounds like he is living pretty well with plenty in the bank.
That father-in-law sounds like my parents. :(
Money is made for spending. It's his money.
You raise your parents the best you can. Then you have to let them make their own mistakes.
She sounds like one of those ppl who look down upon others who don't own homes. Get over yourself lady. $100K saved up? He's doing fine.
Lol at his age? I'd be embarrassed to be half his age with the same amount of money.
Facts, I can’t stand ppl like that. Everyone has a different path, and everyone has different dreams wether you like it or not.
@@grindmodepaul6145 omg thank you! Say it louder for the idiots at the back lol