In-laws Are Moving In With Us!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ค. 2016
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Never, ever, ever, ever move in-laws into your home! They will ruin everything!
Lol, I get the impression this comment comes from a position of experience.
Dont do it.
You will angry about everything.
Trash, shower, kitchen time, house care.
I been there.
This is too true
Soooo true..especially if you're OCD 😂
I am angry already. My mom is living with us , she watches our kids. My relationship with her is not stable she doesn’t respect me and does whatever she wants with my kids even though I tell her no. I love her so much but don’t know what to do
Yeah we are looking for a house and we were offered to move in with in-laws if we don't find a house prior to the lease ending. Yeah my gut says no. I would rather just extend the lease.
True!
Don't do it they will destroy marriage
SAME I’m miserable
Me too it will be two years in March and I’m so done. Plus he lives rent free and gets 2k monthly from his pension plus VA
I am tired sad 😞
Thank You. We got an offer to move in with her parents if we can't find a house. My gut is saying no. I think it would destroy our marriage.
They can find someone to rent to them. They just being lazy and clingy. I love my mother but we can't live together. Grown folks need their own space.
We let our inlaws move in To save money, instead they spent all their money because they didn't have to pay rent. Now we are trying to get them out, yet they feel we are obligated to keep them here.
Give them a deadline and tell them you want them out by then. If they don't move, start the eviction process.
I hope since you've posted, you have no in-laws in your home. Ugh!
Jesus Mary and Joseph
@@TettyBoyFloyd They are from the Philippines, so yeah to them, kids are their retirement plan!
@@Takedownman Can confirm. Here in the Philippines you are obligated to carry your parents even if they are still able. People shame those that cannot help their parents eventhough the child cannot even help themselves.
“No” is one of the most powerful words one can learn to use.
🎯
It’s also a complete sentence.
Under the most honest presumptions about "we won't live with you that long," it could turn into years. Also understand, if they move in with you your privacy ends and it doesn't come back.
Don't do it!!!! Keep the relationship with in laws separate.!!! Be strong, this is your home. It will be a nightmare!
If the "Outlaws" are sitting on 150k, why can't they get s place of their own? I think they are just being cheap! Don't do it!!!
I don't think they're "outlaws" because outlaws are wanted!!!
Charge them room and board, not cheap either. And like Dave said. Have a written agreement of the moveout date. Even if they don't want to sign an agreement inform them of when they will have to leave.
they haven't sold the house yet
Yeah just don't do that.Sincerely,Every rational married couple ever
I hear these calls and THANK THE LORD my in laws and parents are financially stable in their retirement!
That's the best way to be. I want my kids to enjoy seeing and visiting me.
I’m worried mine won’t and it sucks
My in laws are destroying my relationship.
You need to stand up and show your partner who's Boss
I would not do it! Once they move in, it's gonna take a "mule kick" to get them out! Just saying?
Debra Williams Exactly. . .
Reginald Dove i don’t know how u can have $150k equity and file bankruptcy?
Mule kick lol love it
Love the term “mule kick”
It’s miserabke
DONT LET THEM MOVE IN.
Even with an old felony , bankruptcy , there is housing for them.
They can pass background check.
I have an aunt that always say 'all grown folks need their own place' so... wtbs I would not let my parents or my in laws live with me OK!! they move in and start thinking they can put their 2 cents in on the way you live your life and run your house. no! you can not stay.
Eylon Amara yes so true!!! 👏🏼
I would never let n laws move in with me.I don't care how desperate their situation.That's like a marriage train wreck just waiting to happen.I like my n laws but from a distance...........
AMEN. There's a reason I moved out of my parents house to begin with. Forget in-laws, wouldn't even be my own parents.
NO don’t do it, Mitch! In-laws are insufferable
EXACTLY! stay for 3 months and they're still sitting there? oh no...I'd tell them to get the F out of my house! Can't afford rent somewhere? Go get a 2nd job. Amazing how many people can't afford rent and would rather live off of other people instead of getting a 2nd job!
No it never works. Unless every single person is 100% on board it's not a good idea. And even then it's not necessarily a good idea. Typically it's harder when it's the parents or in-laws moving in with the adult children. It's a whole change in the dynamic of the relationship because I the parents have to realize that the children as the owners of the home are in charge or the children have to give over control of their home to their parents. Neither change is likely to be easy.
I’d let my mother in-law move in with us. My father in-law and his wife can pound dirt.
"Just temporarily"....hahahahahaahaha
I know. Temporarily my a$$.
if they are getting 150,000 from their house they can get a small condo or trailer
Especially in phoenix
Temporary will turn into three years, and then they will squeeze two more years out of you. Just say “No”.
I largely agree with Dave here. I would say it is a lose and lose situation to let the in-laws move in with you. You will resent them since they have the money to get their own place and your life will constantly be upended to suit their desires.
Yes, mine sold their home and cabin and my husband moved all of them in without my knowing. All between them because they needed help. He could go to thei separate place to help with dad.
This guy needs to put his foot down. It's his house, and they don't get to move in just because they 'want' to, which is exactly the impression I get from this call.
My mother in law moved in for "maybe 90 days until she can get settled elsewhere" almost a year and a half ago. Any time I talk about an exit strategy, she cries and says she's working in it. She tries to find a place for a week and the moment passes and we have the same talk 60 days later.
Put her stuff on the porch and change the locks. She WILL find something really quick.
Is she still there now?
Kick her out
She will only leave in a coffin.....
Currently going through this... I regret making the decision for my mother-in-law to live with us it has been 5+ years!
he shouldnt do it..it could be end of his marriage!!!
It's simple. Just tell your in-laws no, they can't live with you.
something smells fishy! Are you willing to evict them if they don't leave? If not, expect them to stay forever.
The problem is you end up paying their half of the bills! True Story
So true man I'm dealing with this situation right now
@@ShadowBane0513 Are you still?
@@whytho2714 No we had to kick them out it was for there own good they have their own place now.
@@ShadowBane0513👏🏾👏🏾
Don't do it. My fiancé is very family oriented and I love his folks, but I've made it clear before we are even living together that I won't allow either his or my folks to move in with us unless there was some kind of disaster. I don't think they'd want to anyway, we all enjoy visiting each other but I have a very demanding job so quiet time and privacy is essential for me. Your marriage should be more important than someone else's money if they've failed to live within their means, albeit that isn't a concern with our families. It's best to avoid getting into the situation where someone has to say "Either they go or I go".
We were presented an offer to move in with my wife's parents if we could not find a house before our lease is up but honestly my gut is screaming NOOOO!! Ha ha. Yeah I think I will just extend the lease. Ha ha
@@STMARTIN009 Two years and lots more family gatherings later, I still feel the same way. We adore our families, who I should add are not rich but live wisely, and want to to keep it that way lol.
Depends on the situation. We had the financial means to build a separate in law apartment, and it works great. Our situation was somewhat unique given the fact my FIL needed medical care, and my wife is a nurse, but overall its the best decision we ever made for that circumstance. My wife and I couldn't live with ourselves knowing one of our parents was stuck in a nursing home. I personally think its awful how we have treated elderly in this country. Families should make sacrifices for each other and be there to care for those they love in their times of need, but admittedly that seems to be different than the situation at hand.
@@cw6410It’s great that you have the resources and a separate space for your in-laws. Which means you & your wife still have your privacy. Most average families doesn’t have that luxury & have limited space with their own family. Plus your wife is a nurse. Some people don’t have the time or energy after getting off from work to take care of their elderly parents in addition to taking care of their own children. You have a right to your opinion, but it doesn’t mean someone who puts their parent in a nursing home is a horrible person. Everyone’s situation is different and we don’t know their full circumstances. The other part is some parents may be mean and nasty & demanding, overbearing, that would lead to a toxic environment for their children to take them in. So don’t judge anyone who put their parents in a nursing home .
Don't do it Mitch!!!
yeah everything changes ... my inlaws moved in and OMG ... I hate it ...
Me too
It’s miserable
I think the caller didn't tell what is really going on.
Yeah something isn't right. They filed bankruptcy a few years ago, yet they have $150k equity in their home? Doesn't make sense. . .
Scott Warren
Nate G01 they don't take your home when you file bankruptcy
He's trying to get close to his father's in laws wife.
It's messy indeed!!
With $150,000, they can make this transition on their own.
They can rent a motel room for a month to buy a new place.
Good advise Dave. When I got out of the Army my brother in law said on the phone that I should come and live with he and my sister. He said that he would help me get into school as well. I thought that everyone understood that I had to live in the state for a year and get residency before going to school and that I would live with them because that is what he said on the phone.
When I got there it was a whole different story. I was treated like an uninvited welsher. Apparently that is the impression that he and my sister gave to other members of the family as well. I found a job right away after moving in which was the plan but they really made living with them and working at the same time hard. They wanted me to babysit all the time I wasn't working which left me no time to prepare to go back to work. In a really unkind way my brother in law let me know that he wanted me to go and get an apartment which I did. My sister made it clear that she still wanted to help me with school though. Come to find out her idea of helping me with school was to invite me over to study and then leave me with her kids who she had taught to really disrespect me while she went out to shop and run errands.
They really messed me up and I would have been much better of without them promising support that I planned on and then pulling out that support. They then acted as though they had done a lot to help me and wanted to be treated as if they had actually done what they had originally said they would do. Everyone they knew thought that I was a deadbeat and I finally had enough of them and completely cut them out of my life. They probably think that I was horrible to them and tell people a very different story.
Do what Dave says and get everything with family in writing and if they don't like it or you can't agree on things then don't live together. If you don't it could destroy relationships.
morlandoemtp
Sometimes family's need scapegoats. My family triangulated others in the family into their disputes with me. My options were to be dominated or to try to fight all of their lies and drama with them and everyone they knew or to break away entirely. I broke away and it was the best thing I have ever done. I didn't realize how much they tracked what I was trying to do and worked to torpedo my efforts until they were out of my life entirely. If you are still hearing about it then the family members you still talk to may be doing you more harm than you realize. Good luck.
Drogo Baggins I hear about it like once a year. I can handle that.
Sorry!
Drogo Baggins that is exactly why I never ever moved back to NYC when I got out of the Army. I toughed it out with my kids right here in the Fort Bragg area. I use to go home enough to know that I wasn’t like my family anymore. I was completely different from them because my entire lifestyle had changed and I’m so glad I stayed put. I went through some hard times but I made it. Plus, I tell people that it’s harder to go back home unless there is a military facility close by. People really don’t know the benefits there are for Veterans. As long as you did 24 months in the Army, you are entitled to a VA ID card and medical care. I got out on a disability. I recently found out through the VA that I have diabetes, which is not part of my disability. I would be dead right now if I were a civilian. I get my meds for $15. I got my blood pressure machine, diabetes machine plus the stuff I need with it for FREE. I don’t have to worry about health insurance. I was able to get all of my medical care for FREE. If you have not already done it. Go to your local VA, get your ID card and go through the process of getting everything done. If it’s in your medical records while you were in, you can file for disability. The local colleges have FREE business classes for Veterans. There is so much stuff available for us but people just don’t use them. You don’t need anyone to help you get into school. You could go to the VA office within the schools and they will tell you exactly what to do. They will even help you.
I learned a long time ago to never ever rely on family. My situation was my daughter using my husband and me to watch her kids. She went back to Ohio to chase her deadbeat husband. He thought the car that I purchased for her to drive was in her name. Um 😐 NO! The car was in my name so when she decided to leave, she had to leave the car behind. She kept on posting on social media about “her” car. He really thought that it was her car and so did he until they got a reality check. We miss our grandkids but we’re able to do what we want to.
I'm so sorry they did that to you!
Don't do it.
Mitch, grow some balls. tell the in-laws, I don't want you to live with me. It's too weird.
Going through a bankruptcy means many landlords will not rent to them as they can not pass a credit check.
The parents 100% want to be taken care of and the Dad (FIL) doesnt want to work anymore. I would urge this couple to not do it. It will end with the FIL quitting his job and the couple will have to financially support her parents for the rest of her life. I am in this same situation with my husbands parents. So while I am taking care of us and our children and my husbands parents. It's one thing to take care of the elderly - when they are old and their bodies no longer work. It's another thing to take care of grown adults who dont want to work anymore.
Either they are A) Planning to be freeloaders (Even if they do pay rent there are things that will be hard to separate like food, electricity, internet, etc) B)Or they are smothering kind of people. I could imagine mother in law is wanting to spend all the time with the grandkids and with her daughter and be all up in their business all the time.
Do Not Do It. You will regret it.
my in laws are living with us so they can take care of my kids while me and the wife work full time. yes they take care of the kids but theres no privacy
And that destroys marriages.
I tried that deal, and it was 💩 for me.
Hope it works out for you! 🤷♂️
Dave, Don't you get REALLY sick when your callers say ..." yeah BUT "... LOL
I know this is about 6-7 years old but in Phoenix there's a lot of nice 55+ adult communities with one & two bedrooms for different rentals prices...and since this was years ago they would have gotten a place for $700-$800 a month.
So no, don't let them move in, it would be different if sickly and needed help but it doesn't seem the case.
If it’s only temporary like three or four months charge them about $1000 a month rent refundable a week after they move out. If they don’t move out you have $4000 to remove them legally.
The in-laws may not be able to pass a credit check in order to rent an apartment.
go to a landlord and offer to pay the lease. why wouldn't they take that.
Get an Airbnb, hotel ect There are other options! He never mentioned if his wife has siblings too. They are selling their home, so they need to figure out their next steps. These are able bodied people! I would tell them NO! They will get upset and will get over it especially since they have grandchildren. Never allow family to push their personal problems on you and evade your personal space if you enjoy your freedom! Moving them in will be the worst thing you can do, because it will be difficult to ask them to move out because they will guilt trip their adult child.
It’s been over 3years for us. I don’t think they are ever leaving. I hope my marriage can outlast them.
I'm thinking that the in-laws want to hide the profit of the house. Can one keep all this money while still going through bankruptcy????
Same thing I said in another reply!
Yes you can keep your primary home during a bankruptcy.
My inlaws wanted to move in for a few months..... 5 years ago. Now we have a terrible relationship and my wife and I are considering divorce.
did you guys manage to let them go?
@historiqueafricaine1225 I am divorced. They still live with her, but I am much happier. It did not end well.
@nkellbe11 I'm really sorry to hear that, we are supposed to cut the umbilical cord with our parents once we get married
Here's the rental agreement : In-laws move in, take over, Mitch needs to be grateful for the opportunity.
Yeap. My mother in law stayed with us for a couple of months. I literally felt like I was a guest in my own home. She moved in and took over. She finally left after a few months. I already told my husband if that happens again, then I will move out and they can pay all the bills. It was a nightmare.
If the in-laws move in, be prepared to move out. Preferably to another state
No! No! Do Not Do This!! You will regret this--it will be bad!!
If your parents are older, respectful with good boundaries and have unconditional love for you I have no problem. When those factors are missing it's a disaster
Don't do it!
Your comment is my current situation. They help cook and clean and watch the kids while we work. I don't ask them for money either. How dare I? Lol they took care of me till the age of 18.
@@amaglupay I agree with you. In many countries, extended family live together. My bro has been married for years and his inlaws fit like a glove with my family. Inlaws watching kids is cheaper then daycare. I do not have kids or a hubby...yet.
I'm Asian and it's kind of weird how North Americans view their parents in some cases. If ur parents need help I believe u should do all u can to help without ruining your way of life. This is of course if your parent supported you and were a presence in ur life. I still live with my parents not because I can't live somewhere else, but rather I'm able to save on rent and give my parents rent that I would typically give to someone else. Keep the money within your family if you can. If it's for life choices, do your thing don't let your parents be a deterrent .
The problem is people often change when they move in. You see sides to them you never saw before. I have several friends who have moved their parents or In-laws in and it became a nightmare.
DON'T DO IT!!! It does NOT work. It ruined my marriage and things have never been the same between my husband and myself. DON"T DO IT!!
Run screaming into the night!!!!
Run screaming in the night is right 🤣 eventually everybody will end up fighting and causing hard problems it ain't worth it
Got a job lined up and $150k cash in their pocket. No reason to move in the adult kids unless the kids are 100% all in enthusiastically.
My in-laws moved in 3 mths ago with 2 dogs. My husband and I have been fighting everyday because they are so nasty! They have 2 dogs and they have ruined my office! What do I do? They have not given me a penny..
if you rent don't renew your lease and find a new, smaller place "sorry no room, you'll have X time to find your own place", if you own then your hubby will have to man up and ask them to leave and since they have not paid anything as far as rent for 3 months they should have plenty to move out and put deposits down etc. Good Luck and sorry about the office.
Go to the court house and file an eviction notice. And tell hubby they go or I go.
And yes if you rent moved when the lease is up
That is not ok. Kick them out.
Even if they paid rent it would not be worth it
Stand Strong... SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!!! God Almighty.
rebellious man Lol.... your comment is so dramatic 🙄
Great advice
The clear agreement that matters is between he and his wife, which is the hardest to get.
🤣 I love this guy. “What’s your exit strategy?”
Moving in because of the grandchildren ..... what were they planning on doing with them?
How about help raise them. Smh
more like raise them in "their" image, not the parents
From personal experience. Raise them, as parents, and shame you for doing things they didn't.
@@MJ-cu1nw Isn't that the parents job?
It's an excuse to invite themselves. The real reason is financial.
I don't know how it worked out, bit I had my mother in law stay with us for 6 months I almost got a divorce, 1st month was ok then her nasty personality came out. She paid for nothing and on top she wanted money for living expenses.
When I do eventually ask my girlfriend to marry this is not happening. This is a deal breaker 😬
I see DIVORCE in his future. ...
My parents would love to live near us, but in an apartment. They don't want to live with us. I think this guy is being pushed by his wife.
Tell them to get a condo.
Dave ditch these vague callers! they are ruining your show!
Half video is wasted by Dave trying to get info, if this was not made so vague, Dave would spend more time giving a solution, that would make the video more informative.
Father and law has been living with us for almost 2 years. When he moved into our home initially, he was on hard times and my wife said "she would talk to him if he was living with us for more than 6 months". I'm trying to get this guy out of here, but it is hellish and he tries to always do things "his way" and gets upset when you don't do things the way he wants. it truly is miserable and a trap to have any of your in laws live with you imo.
Too blessed or stressed , awesome 😀
I'm picking up on Dave's vibe in this conversation. But he didn't quien on the item that my b******* detector chimed on. How does someone have $150,000 in equity 2 years after a bankruptcy? Me thinks somebody is not being very straightforward in this family's conversations.
Son of Liberty you don’t have to sell your home in Bk
This guys sounds SUPER confused, like he doesn’t have all the info. It seems he hasn’t sat down and talked this through w his family. People, do YOUR homework first, then call Dave as a last resort. At least have the facts/info straight BEFORE you call him. Let’s be grown-ups here.
Dave keeps asking about the FIL getting a job. Is MIL totally useless?
The bankruptcy will prohibit them from renting from a place where they check your credit history. So it’s not so much about the money as it is who would rent to them with a bankruptcy. But...either way...don’t do it. Keeping the peace in your home is your first priority
He didn’t say how long ago that they filed bankruptcy. Plenty of people are able to rent who filed bankruptcy years ago. Plus another option is to rent an Airbnb for 2-3 months. These people do not need to move in. The other thing is do they have other children or siblings they can move in with . Sometimes parents like to choose certain children to move in with. I would just tell them NO! Let them figure out their own living arrangements! They haven’t been evicted or house foreclosed. The house is for sale, so these people have ample time to figure out a plan that doesn’t include moving in with their daughter. Anytime family causes you this type of stress by asking to move in with them , throw off their plans by telling them NO! See how quickly they will figure out what to do to survive! It’s not his problem if they don’t have an emergency situation, Periodt. ! Throw that ball back in their court!
Family first..sometimes people need help and dont see how lending a hand is a bad thing, just establish some rules.
I bet the in-laws are still living with them.
I bet he's a cuck 😬
I wouldn't let them stay at all for any amount of time. After dinner it's time to drop them off at home. The SECOND you let them in for more than a night you are going to have squatters. It doesn't matter if they are family - they need to live and pay their way in another residence.
If they have nowhere else to go or financially can not afford to live on their own then it is the right thing to do. Either way, it will not be good and your own marriage will suffer.
Money for food will end up coming out of your pocket remember
And feeling obligated to eat dinner with them every night and then being in your business and knowing every little thing you do will drive you insane! Absolutely no privacy. Doesn't matter how nice they are and how much they try to be considerate. Two separate adult families / couples should not live together. It will ruin your marriage because it is miserable to live like that!
The thumbnail for this video says it all!
In-laws mom's dad's only when they need money is when we're loved after that you're out
you have to qualify for a rental with a credit check and if they have a bankruptcy they can't. Maybe with a as soon as the house is sold they move maybe ? they may be only there a couple months till they find something
Only if it's life or death circumstances....they would HAVE to be working their way OUT as they move in. No longer than 60 days...MAX.
My inlaws moved in - my life ended
Thank God I have great in laws
I do too, but I don't want to live with them!
I see all comments saying don’t do it but , my husband says he will look for a house to rent and go move in with them mean while, because they are visiting but when they visit they spend like 2 months here and they are gunna go back and coming back but I don’t want them too, not because they are annoying or anything but I like my space and going through the house with out talking to anybody Iknow I’m stupid…some will say let your husband rent them a house but I don’t want them to think they are going to rent out a house because I don’t want them there
DONT DO IT!!!!
Nope! They need to redirect them to someone else’s house or a nice affordable apartment complex.
Could you pay their hotel for 2 months and then say they should have work enough to rent house and make rent? Would that work? These situations are so hard and I always feel for everyone in them. But also at what point do people say no becsuse it is too far to cover mortgage? Lending money for 2 months rent allows time but keeps separation and then there is no awkwardness of move out.
No privacy.....ruined marriage.
Just say NO!!!
I'd much rather give my in laws 500 extra to keep them away! The worst thing parents can do is become a burden to their kids.
NO WAY!
Don't do it!
Don’t do it !!!
Run. 2 Weeks, then hotel, rental, buy house. Good bye!
Don't do it!!!!
In my view, it makes sense to have generational families under the same roof. But one person must be able to act as generational manager with prior consent by each person living there. This allows understanding and acceptance by all. Examples are parking, cooking and cleaning with the alternative to buy out those jobs. Naturally money and even privacy concerns are there too. And especially the agreed method to resolve disagreements such as judge and jury selection
That sounds good, but my biggest issue was my MIL trying to compete with me for her son’s love. It really took a toll on my marriage. She passed several years ago and we are trying to restore our life together.
@@mominthe209 I recommend hiring several sessions with a licensed Marriage and Family Counselor. I bought ten sessions to help me with a bi polar wife. Time and money well spent.
Don’t do it!!!!
No they can live in an efficiency until they find suitable housing. This son in law is leaving something out of this story.
Don't charge them rent. They will feel entitled.
Don’t do this. It will become a nightmare. No no and no
This sounds so foul