The fog was thick as peanut butter. I’m still amazed I found my way out, because at the time, I had no idea I was even in it. Coverts are the most manipulative and cunning narcissists there are. I congratulate anyone that had the fortitude and courage to break free. That is one incredible accomplishment, one I know I will never top in my lifetime.
I was with her for 20 years, had no clue who she really was, that mask completely fell the night before I moved and I saw a demon with black eyes and a demonic smirk.
I was in a relationship for 10 years with a covert narc. Then I managed to discard him and moved away and try to heal my self. Listen to multiple videos of NPD, co-dependency etc and healing me. I lived about 4 years as a singel woman. Of course he wasn't singel one second that time. Then his mother died and he hoovered me in again (I hadn't got NC to him that time - my mistake) for about 2 years but I understand a LOT more at that time cause I have got help with all that knowledge about NPD etc (by this videos most from Andrew here and Dr Ramani etc) so that 2 years I was more awake and it ended up that I discarded him once again - like I already has done before. This time it was for god! I even was more aware of my self and block him everywhere as we say: I got completely in NC. Even his Flying Monkeys and a lots of friends we had together. Then times fly away: I was living a good life for my self. But last February year 2023 I got a call from one of the narc's 6 children: That he had died. He died alone in his flat at 55 years old in massive of injury from his alcohol addiction. To be honest with You all - I don't wan't anybody to die but I can tell You one thing: I was relieved! Soon - in a couple of weeks - it has got 1 year since he died. I still feel relieved. The grief I had before I have already done those years before when I left him and when I understood that he was a Covert NPD. Now? I'm living in peace and harmony. Take care everyone of You and I hope You can get away from those toxic people cause You can get a much more and better life without those people. I promise You and Because You Are ALL worth it 🙏
I don't call it a relationship anymore, I call it a sick 9 year game that she brought an innocent baby/child into. Trusting and believing someone who pretends to love you doesn't make you stupid, nor does it make them clever, it makes them evil and sadistic.
@@Antweak83 same, if I don't play her games, or meet her ridiculous demands she stops me seeing my son, I'm sorry you are going through this. Just remember they are deeply miserable and full of anxiety deep down everyday, they will destroy every relationship they have, this fact makes me feel better.
When my ex started to behave really poorly, and kept disappearing for weeks on end, claiming he was looking after a sick uncle miles away, he also claimed he was suffering from depression, and wanted to get away. I said I would go to counselling with him. He snapped at me saying he didn’t want any help!! . Looking back now, as I never actually met this uncle, he was probably with the new supply, devaluing me, and preparing to discard me. They have no intention of introspection, no regrets for treating people like dirt, and the worst for me is all of the pathological lies . He could lie, look straight into my eyes, and not flinch. Really sad to think we genuinely loved and wanted great things for these demonic people, who try to destroy us from the inside out
My heart goes out to you. I asked my ex narc if he might go to therapy with me at one point and he said maybe. Then he spent the next couple of months telling me I should go to therapy because I wasn't handling life as he thought I should be. I soon realized that there was something seriously off. It took me in the direction of learning about narcissism. 7 months later I went no contact.
My ex-narc was a HABITUAL LIAR. I couldn't believe one word he would say. He would leave me home with his DEMENTIA FATHER, who I later found out was also narcissistic. I had plan to move out. The one sided relationship got WORSE. He started talking and treated me like I was nothing. So I waited until he went out of town and with the help of family I moved out, PRAISE JESUS!!! I started putting the pieces of the puzzle together. What he texted on one device showed up on another device. All his secret rendez vous, his MULTIPLE SUPPLIES, He even video him having sex with other women. I THANK GOD I didn't contract any STDs.
My ex did this too - his excuse was always some version of he was having doubts about our relationship or was feeling scared like we were getting too close and he needed some time to himself. It could be a day, once it was about a week. He always came back with an elaborate story about how he had taken the time to think and was surer than ever about us. It was always sudden and not related to any issue we were having. After he discarded me for the final time (he created a weekend of extreme chaos and then left) - later he told me my “mental issues” (none except being normal) drove him away to seek safety 🙄. As time went on, women came out of the woodwork telling me he had been with them, including he took a coworker of mine on a weekend cruise! With the final discard he had another girlfriend and I found out they were engaged! It was hell breaking the trauma bond and I’d never risk losing my peace of mind drama free life!
The only emotion she showed when she came to pick up her stuff was when she set my house key on the table, and then it hit me, she was only upset about losing the house, my house, and whatever opportunity came along with that. She didn't care about losing me at all. She just cared about the benefits that came from being in a relationship with me.
If you want to spend the rest of your life trying to work out the tricks of the narcissist. Stay with them. The only cost will be your youth, patience, energy, faith in people, any money, possessions, sanity, peace and love...Is anyone worth that. We all know the answer..Run !!
No, it certainly wasn't the relationship I thought it was. Each and every day, it got worse, and I was devalued more and more, little by little. It finally came to the point when the mask didn’t slip, it came all the way off and he flung it 50 ft. away! LOL But seriously, I saw the true ugliness of Satan himself as he gaslighted me, falsely accused me, and had his rage fit. By that time, I had an idea of what I was dealing with, so I didn’t try to defend, justify, or explain. As he stormed away, I said to myself, GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE. NO CONTACT, NO HOOVERS ACCEPTED, JUST PUTTING IN THE WORK EVERY DAY for the past 4 months as I go through the healing process down the road to indifference. Thank you so much, Andrew. NAMASTE❤
Yup! Loved it!! I reach the top of the mountain! Everyone will heal in their own time. It’s very hard to move through/ navigate cognitive dissonance! Give yourself grace, be nice to yourself, let go of the self talk and don’t believe you are low, you will be so high up (and stable) on top of the mountain. It takes work. It’s like taking a class, you gotta put in the work. You are not alone.
Having him be in the middle of cussing me up and down to have the phone ring and him answer in a completely normal, upbeat tone, then going right back to the ugliness when the call was over…
Thank you Andrew. You have just told the story of my past 20 year relationship!! He slowly took away my independence, finances and self belief along with me being the one who did everything for him. I finally built the strength to leave him 2 years ago . Last year I was asked out on a date by a 'charming ' man who I clicked with straight away ( so I thought), but sadly he wasn't who I thought he was either. After finding your channel and learning about narcissism I SAW what these men had found in me. I've left that relationship now, it was hard as the trauma bond was strong, but your video's have been and still are helping me every day.❤
Its funny my friend was seeing a therapist who was able to predict the next move of the x narcissist boyfriend.She was amazed she would say to me how does he know. His next move? And be so correct,?I told her the world is a stage,,they see the same behavior over and over again. Funny when Andrew said world,i was writing it out😊 syncrosity. Amazing !!!.@@louannpietruszynski4543
When I pulled on the thread of my parent's narcissism, I realized that it ran through (almost) *all* of my relationships. While I was in my last defacto relationship I used to wonder why I didn't feel any closer to her as time passed, there was no depth to her -she did not share how she felt -at all -ever. It was like living with a stranger and I always sensed that she was still playing -and then ~she was. She could leave so easily because she'd never arrived! I now realize that her discarding me was a merciful early release. I wish everyone the full recovery of everything these "relationships". ☮💜
I so relate to that, exactly the same way it was with my now estranged husband who won't sign the divorce papers... go figure! It's drug out over a year and he is the one who did many mini-discards, and two holiday-wrecking-major-discards... leaving for months - but I didn't, and won't, take any more of his pathetic hoover attempts. I told him the next time he walked away, it would be the LAST time he put me through that level of hell. I've kept true to my words. It helps that this man possesses ZERO empathy, is incapable of loving, and has such a strong sense of entitlement coupled with the victim mentality that he could not offer ANYTHING that anyone in their right mind could hold onto to justify "giving it one more chance." And it is so true what they say - he walked out the first time five months into the marriage. I didn't know what hit me. I took him back after almost 3 months, and it only gets worse!!!!! The devaluation, the abuse, the financial exploitation and in my case, the sexual abuse...all of it just got worse.
Our entire marriage spanned 3 years and it's AMAZING the amount of DAMAGE he created... my attorney looked at me and said "he was a wrecking ball that blew through your life leaving so much wreckage" - he tried, and nearly destroyed everything I spent twenty years building within my business. It's unfathomable how these kinds of people act as a cancer in every facet of your life..... they truly are LEECHING CANCEROUS CELLS
Yes Dear Andrew. It all hurts still when I think back on it. My life feels dull now but I can breathe in peace of mind. I am grateful to have had you for my mentor thru my awakening process. Thank you ❤
If I have to play games with a toxic and narcissistic individual AGAIN I will continue to stay single. Stable healthy relationships take work, but nothing like the meat grinder lifestyle of narcissistic abusive relationship/marriage. I have been in the position of being financially trapped with no way out, or the ability to raise my two children at the time. I am not, nor ever will be wealthy, and that is OK, but I don't want to be at the mercy of an unmerciful person again. Nor do I want "a sugar daddy " who will control my every waking moment.
@lourdesecheverria6209 yes, peace of mind and joy in knowing you are free from the abuse. You can breathe deeply and no longer have to hold your breath in fear.💨🙏❤️ 😊
When I catched them looking at me sideways the evil look of hatred they give you I think sometimes they don't realize they are making that face the mask slipping when you catch them off guard once they do their face going back to normal is like they were possessed for a moment
The ex is on oxygen and still smoking. The rescuer in me wants to bring him soup. But watching Andrew Video reminded me: I am not a doctor nor a nurse. He is a grown man and he is the smartest person on earth. Almost jump back into the fire. Thank You Andrew. Namaste 🙏
Yes, the narcissist definitely does not want help. They want to do what they want to do. Period. They will only do something someone else wants if it benefits them. They wanted you on the sidelines taking care of everything, acting like things were fine to the outside world & never calling them out. I remember reading things & getting lightbulb moments as to who exactly the narcissist was. It is shocking. You want to believe that this can't be true, that this couldn't be who they are. But the truth is staring you right in the face. They are users & liars. Devious manipulators. That is how they are with everyone. When you reach the pinnacle of indifference & heal, it will be crystal clear who the narcissist is. Their behavior will no longer be an enigma. And like Andrew said, you will be a changed person. For the better. And you won't ever see the world in the same way again. I am healed. It definitely takes time. Really listen to Andrew. Utilize the tools & knowledge he gives. He is an excellent teacher. Take everything on your heart to God in prayer. You got this. Just give it time. Excellent video Andrew☀️. All truth. I resonate with it all. Love the rainbow prisms🌈 of sunlight shining over the hill top. So beautiful🙂☀️ Have a good night🙂 God bless ☀️
Hear, hear to everything Andrew imparted in this stellar video - and to everything you expressed here in your response. It all directly resonates with me 100%, as well! Namaste. 🙏🏼
Yes they are fakers and takers……but as you heal and get to the top of the mt of indifference you see who they are/were so clearly its shocking….grateful to be out of it almost a year…so much change and clarity……thank god for this channel and the wisdom
The family always comes first. Siblings will never turn on you. No, family no longer comes first. And, siblings will turn on you, especially if they can work at it together. I learned the hard way that I come first, second, and third.
My heart goes out to all the folks in long term relationships with a narcissist. My marriage lasted 4 yrs and only a year and a half under the same room because I raised hell at all the gaslighting. Yes I was in love with her.. And this is the first time I have said that past tense I thank God. She tried to Hoover for the first time and I sent one of your videos Andy and a few comments that were actually nice. What did she do? Blocked me lol.. I have her blocking me I don’t care one way or the other and get stronger every day. She is too toxic to communicate in a healthy fashion and went away. That’s fine there is only a tiny part of me that feels anything for that mask. Once that trauma bond has been seriously fractured it’s like a wound that puss runs out of but it quickly starts you coming to life and loving yourself. I am so glad this is behind me and I will know to NEVER ignore red flags of dysfunctional people. I don’t HAVE to be just anybody’s friend I have standards of kindness and listening and adulthood. Keep it up Mr.Andrew🎉
Exactly. However, infrequently horrible things were done. Mostly he hid it from me but even the world who saw it was in denial. After all, he said things about me to pave the way for me running away, which he expected to happen. These are dangerous people.
Absolutely. Hollywood could never ever replicate my story. Even Hollywood will never produce a movie that shows this truth. How the human race produced someone without an iota of conscience I will never understand Thank you Andrew for your wisdom. I need to hear you often because I keep forgetting
Thank you for your videos and wisdom, Andrew. I just got out of a relationship with a woman who is a major narc. We have a 1,5 year old daugther and my ex has had a depression all the way through my daughters life. I had to do everything, work, take care of our daughter though the nights, morning, then work and then back to take my daughter, weekends etc. I helped my ex with therapy, paid for all through the last 1,5 year.. Then when I ended the relationship, she leaves and goes to a crisis center for women with our daughter and acuse me of being violent. Right now I am fighting with all that I can. I have a good paying job and can afford a good lawyer, but this is the worst thing I have experiences in my life. I have not seen my daughter for 2+ weeks now. I have listened to a lot of your videos and they give me hope and understanding of that went on in the relationship. All the best from me ❤❤
Absolutely right Andrew 🎯 i was blindsided because first i didn't have the education on narcissism and second my ex narc husband is a different type of a narcissist than my mother was. So he wasn't acting like her. He is a covert and my mother was a classic narc. So i had no way of putting two and two together. But now i know and if it is in the cards for me to share my life with someone again someday well i have all the tools and the person will be the opposit of them. Have a wonderful evening coach ❤❤😊
It’s amazing that some therapists aren’t wise to narcissists , when you go to couples therapy, or even your own individual therapy… You can seek out therapists with experience or expertise with narcissists or with domestic abuse… There are more and more of them… it makes a big difference:)
Love should not be this ugly situation. We are abused over and over with their manipulative, lying, and deceptive behavior, and we took it all and then some. They will never admit to it or apologize. Just get out and say goodbye to them.
My life has seen several unbelievable ‘miracles’ The one I am so grateful for was when God rescued me from my narcissistic wife I tried and tried , and almost went broke until i was discarded. The miracles continued with a good therapist, a good lawyer, and then a no nonsense judge My life soared. Living with a narcissist is very stressful and I became very sick The miracles continued with a full recovery The lesson: recognize the dysfunction in your relationship. Your mental and physical health are at stake. Get out NOW.
Listen to Andrew when he says cut with all flying monkeys. Today i ran into my "trusted" neighbour/friend who ive been having coffee/lunches with. She said she ran into my narcex and spoke to him. She suggested maybe me and narcex could be friends one day!?! I said to her how can anyone be friends with someone who had them arrested and carted away in a police paddy wagon!?!?? Anyhow, im ✂️ ng every flying monkey from my life because they are indeed under the spell of a master manipulator 😡
I have experienced just about everything that you pointed out in this exceptional video. I am Italian on my mother's side. I learned early on that what I saw. I did not see. When you are a child, the mold is set. My grandfather had colon cancer. The immediate family knew it,however, he was told he had diverticulitis. for fear of the dreaded word cancer being exposed. I now know that with your teachings and this incredible community that I had stayed in 2 Narc Marriages because the behaviors were familiar to me from my childhood. The pieces of the puzzle are almost complete. Many thanks. ❤🙏💯☮️👍
I am currently in the second scenario, a 55 year old housewife dependent on the narcissist money, he is a doctor. Shocking his emotional abuse and drinking, yet can go and care for others. I need all the courage to get away. I just wish I’d acted on the red flags when my daughter was born 20 years ago. I want to run to the hills and yes this ageing narcissist is all that you have described at the end of your video. That part is so troubling.
You just described the rage fits of throwing things and the fear when they are driving the car in a rage and how terrified i was many times in the car. Even when i told him after he stopped the car the last time i was in it with him that he scared me, he didnt even apologise and said the guy on the road he sped up towards ‘deserved it’. Completely invalidating my fear when he did it. I never told any one until now about his car rages and they are shocked.
She told me if I didn’t kill my dog by Friday….I loved my dog more than her….he passed at home with me, he saved me from her….without my dog, I probably would have moved in with her and started a business. He saved me from the narcissist even in his dying days. She just said good! This is what YOU wanted was to put a dying dog ahead of me….😥 You’re right, no empathy or love, how can another human treat a human like this? Thank you for being out there and putting these videos up, they help me heal and learn about these evil, hateful people.
This was just so spot on about what happens when your go to therapy…. you are teamed up on. The finger is pointed at you as the source of the marital problems. Thank-you Andrew
Count it all joy my brother when you fall into various Temptations for the trying of your faith worketh patience and patience when it has its perfect way is wonderful
Hey Andrew I had enough of my narcissistic wife getting very sick of her beating me down can’t do this anymore I know you help all of us I tried everything not working now she’s hiding all of our money in her own account leaving me with nothing can’t live like this anymore I would rather be not here 😢 thank you for all your help 🙏💔✌️
Hi Andrew how are you? Well I am talking to someone right now and she has to deal with rude customers at her job I told her that I'm sorry that she has to go through this but things will get better I know what it's like to deal with rude people but they're never going to change
"somebodys gotta work around here" was the response when I shared my disappointed about him working every day after we got married , had our first child and was not working outside the home.
I can share on the topic of thearapy. Exactly what you said, I was shocked when she said me and the thearpist were picking on her like her Mom did. Right there I knew it was not me with the problem. I had the feeling that I could get out of this mess but I did not have the strength to do so. This was years before I finally made the break. I can identify with any of you who are like this now! The great thing is that I can look back on it now without feeling all that pain again! Always have the best wishes for you all. Thanks Andrew...
He stressed me out and upset me so much toward the end. I was completely spent. I miss him, but I'm incredibly angry and hurt. Thank you for the video, Andrew. I'm very slowly healing because of your content.
Projection of what I wanted to see, willing to deny my interests for those of others. It was like quitting smoking: took 3 times to go no contact, just like the political cult I is was in for 4 years. Lucky I have anything left.
Yes you pull away hoping they might change, and then when you return they ramp up the disrespect and it makes it even worse! Like you cant believe the nitemare wont end. I went for my first counselling appointment today, its arrived at the right time now Im figuring this out more.
Religious instruction is so simple honest and truth it has been removed from schools. I believe things were better or at least some had an opportunity to explore right living.
I was all in. Money was only a tool to get needs met. I am a professional and he worked lawn care. So, I earned the bulk of it. But honest to GOD! He is a black hole! 👍 Yep that one tried to take me out. Oh well, at least I remember to choose ME first now. ❤
Whoa! Very powerful video✨ Your videos are going to be helping people all around the world🌎I now sincerely think I’m one of the fortunate ones to be out of the toxic relationship with your help‼️I’m grateful for all of your empowering, supportive and encouraging help❤️
Wow this is a very powerful video! Listen to every word! Andrew you are so correct and discerning on every behavior detail! I am so grateful for the information you have enlightened us here on the channel. I have been passing this information onto my high school grandchildren who are experiencing manipulation from people their age and adults who try to abuse them verbally, emotionally etc.
I can most easily emotionally ditch these ***tards but still lament an irreplaceable possession stolen. Anyway, Andrew, you mentioned Hollywood. An awful lot of narcissism there! I must admit to being a William Holden fan though (Sunset Boulevard, Love is a Many Splendored Thing, Stalag 17, Breezy, Wild Rovers, etc.)
OH MY GOODNESS... You Are right. I watched a lot of Hollywood movies of that same Era, in my teenage years and I had no clue that they revolved around narcissistic personalities. We were educated after all, but we just didn't know that we were being educated to think that this was "normal" relational behavior. No wonder society is so messed up.💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡
Andrew I appreciate all your videos I have been going to therapy for a year as my wife took my kids and just moved the whole marriage was me running as hard as I could while she was absent or just a spectator 17 years later she just left ? You are right on so much of what you describe is what happened. This is the worst thing I ever faced so confusing and painful but starting to see the truth thank you for taking the time to help, I appreciate you.
At first, I couldn't figure out what was going on. I asked God to show what kind of person he was! And he did! Things started to unravel very quickly. In about 2 months, I realized that I was dealing with a narcissistic/toxic person. I was starting to distinct myself from him (emotionally detaching). And then I found out that he was cheating and lying to me. I WAS DONE after that Blocked/No Contact! The best decision I ever made in my life... You can do it to we all are strong 💪. Walk away and keep it moving....
I asked chat GPT how many narcs were in the world and it estimated between 1 and 6 percent. If it’s 6, that translates to roughly 480 million people. At first I thought they should all have to go to Antarctica, but I wouldn’t want them to mess with the penguins. One of the moons of Saturn or Jupiter would be good. Preferably one with no underground ocean. Don’t want them getting supply on unsuspecting aquatic life.
The fog was thick as peanut butter. I’m still amazed I found my way out, because at the time, I had no idea I was even in it. Coverts are the most manipulative and cunning narcissists there are. I congratulate anyone that had the fortitude and courage to break free. That is one incredible accomplishment, one I know I will never top in my lifetime.
💯💯😌🙏☀️
Totally agree. They are so good at hiding who they are, and messing with your head
I was with her for 20 years, had no clue who she really was, that mask completely fell the night before I moved and I saw a demon with black eyes and a demonic smirk.
It is a power greater than ourselves that guides us to the freedom we were always meant to have. Blessings to you!❤
I was in a relationship for 10 years with a covert narc. Then I managed to discard him and moved away and try to heal my self. Listen to multiple videos of NPD, co-dependency etc and healing me. I lived about 4 years as a singel woman. Of course he wasn't singel one second that time. Then his mother died and he hoovered me in again (I hadn't got NC to him that time - my mistake) for about 2 years but I understand a LOT more at that time cause I have got help with all that knowledge about NPD etc (by this videos most from Andrew here and Dr Ramani etc) so that 2 years I was more awake and it ended up that I discarded him once again - like I already has done before. This time it was for god! I even was more aware of my self and block him everywhere as we say: I got completely in NC. Even his Flying Monkeys and a lots of friends we had together.
Then times fly away: I was living a good life for my self. But last February year 2023 I got a call from one of the narc's 6 children: That he had died. He died alone in his flat at 55 years old in massive of injury from his alcohol addiction. To be honest with You all - I don't wan't anybody to die but I can tell You one thing: I was relieved!
Soon - in a couple of weeks - it has got 1 year since he died. I still feel relieved. The grief I had before I have already done those years before when I left him and when I understood that he was a Covert NPD.
Now? I'm living in peace and harmony.
Take care everyone of You and I hope You can get away from those toxic people cause You can get a much more and better life without those people.
I promise You and Because You Are ALL worth it 🙏
I don't call it a relationship anymore, I call it a sick 9 year game that she brought an innocent baby/child into.
Trusting and believing someone who pretends to love you doesn't make you stupid, nor does it make them clever, it makes them evil and sadistic.
I'm in the same boat. That monster has my children and is punishing them by keeping them from me.
@@Antweak83 same, if I don't play her games, or meet her ridiculous demands she stops me seeing my son, I'm sorry you are going through this. Just remember they are deeply miserable and full of anxiety deep down everyday, they will destroy every relationship they have, this fact makes me feel better.
When my ex started to behave really poorly, and kept disappearing for weeks on end, claiming he was looking after a sick uncle miles away, he also claimed he was suffering from depression, and wanted to get away. I said I would go to counselling with him. He snapped at me saying he didn’t want any help!! . Looking back now, as I never actually met this uncle, he was probably with the new supply, devaluing me, and preparing to discard me. They have no intention of introspection, no regrets for treating people like dirt, and the worst for me is all of the pathological lies . He could lie, look straight into my eyes, and not flinch. Really sad to think we genuinely loved and wanted great things for these demonic people, who try to destroy us from the inside out
My heart goes out to you. I asked my ex narc if he might go to therapy with me at one point and he said maybe. Then he spent the next couple of months telling me I should go to therapy because I wasn't handling life as he thought I should be. I soon realized that there was something seriously off. It took me in the direction of learning about narcissism. 7 months later I went no contact.
My ex-narc was a HABITUAL LIAR. I couldn't believe one word he would say. He would leave me home with his DEMENTIA FATHER, who I later found out was also narcissistic. I had plan to move out. The one sided relationship got WORSE. He started talking and treated me like I was nothing. So I waited until he went out of town and with the help of family I moved out, PRAISE JESUS!!! I started putting the pieces of the puzzle together. What he texted on one device showed up on another device. All his secret rendez vous, his MULTIPLE SUPPLIES, He even video him having sex with other women. I THANK GOD I didn't contract any STDs.
@@tammywatts6221 I'm so sorry you've been through such a horrific situation 😢
My ex did this too - his excuse was always some version of he was having doubts about our relationship or was feeling scared like we were getting too close and he needed some time to himself. It could be a day, once it was about a week. He always came back with an elaborate story about how he had taken the time to think and was surer than ever about us. It was always sudden and not related to any issue we were having. After he discarded me for the final time (he created a weekend of extreme chaos and then left) - later he told me my “mental issues” (none except being normal) drove him away to seek safety 🙄. As time went on, women came out of the woodwork telling me he had been with them, including he took a coworker of mine on a weekend cruise! With the final discard he had another girlfriend and I found out they were engaged! It was hell breaking the trauma bond and I’d never risk losing my peace of mind drama free life!
@@tammywatts6221 you have had one lucky escape. Well done 👏
The only emotion she showed when she came to pick up her stuff was when she set my house key on the table, and then it hit me, she was only upset about losing the house, my house, and whatever opportunity came along with that. She didn't care about losing me at all. She just cared about the benefits that came from being in a relationship with me.
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Pretending to be one person while covertly sabotaging you behind your back. 🌞❤💪
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Yes this happened to me...
Always, you may not know it is going on, but it is !!
They don’t want help! Narcissists Don’t want help! They provoke and pressure and push buttons on their empath victims 🙄
If you want to spend the rest of your life trying to work out the tricks of the narcissist. Stay with them.
The only cost will be your youth, patience, energy, faith in people, any money, possessions, sanity, peace and love...Is anyone worth that. We all know the answer..Run !!
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There were red flags,behind the red flags..
The beautiful rays of the sun are shining brightly on you, my friend. ❤️☀️✨️
☀️🙌🙏
No, it certainly wasn't the relationship I thought it was. Each and every day, it got worse, and I was devalued more and more, little by little. It finally came to the point when the mask didn’t slip, it came all the way off and he flung it 50 ft. away! LOL
But seriously, I saw the true ugliness of Satan himself as he gaslighted me, falsely accused me, and had his rage fit. By that time, I had an idea of what I was dealing with, so I didn’t try to defend, justify, or explain. As he stormed away, I said to myself, GOOD BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
NO CONTACT, NO HOOVERS ACCEPTED, JUST PUTTING IN THE WORK EVERY DAY for the past 4 months as I go through the healing process down the road to indifference. Thank you so much, Andrew. NAMASTE❤
Welcome 😌😌🙏❤️
Yup! Loved it!! I reach the top of the mountain! Everyone will heal in their own time. It’s very hard to move through/ navigate cognitive dissonance! Give yourself grace, be nice to yourself, let go of the self talk and don’t believe you are low, you will be so high up (and stable) on top of the mountain. It takes work. It’s like taking a class, you gotta put in the work. You are not alone.
Having him be in the middle of cussing me up and down to have the phone ring and him answer in a completely normal, upbeat tone, then going right back to the ugliness when the call was over…
I experienced the narcissist's change in behavior too. It was so ugly and it shook me up. 🙏
That is a narc alright! Sounds just like my ex. Blessings!
Same here.His mother was the same.They put on an act.And so mean.
Amazing
Thank you Andrew.
You have just told the story of my past 20 year relationship!!
He slowly took away my independence, finances and self belief along with me being the one who did everything for him.
I finally built the strength to leave him 2 years ago .
Last year I was asked out on a date by a 'charming ' man who I clicked with straight away ( so I thought), but sadly he wasn't who I thought he was either.
After finding your channel and learning about narcissism I SAW what these men had found in me.
I've left that relationship now, it was hard as the trauma bond was strong, but your video's have been and still are helping me every day.❤
The weirdest 😳 thing about Narcissistic relationships is all of us dated married orl engaged with the same person ,yes strange 🤔...
That is why it's a demon spirit,,let's say multiples of legions
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik yep, demonic imprint handed down through generations
Demon seeds 😵💫👹
It’s really creepy and true 🧐
Its funny my friend was seeing a therapist who was able to predict the next move of the x narcissist boyfriend.She was amazed she would say to me how does he know. His next move? And be so correct,?I told her the world is a stage,,they see the same behavior over and over again. Funny when Andrew said world,i was writing it out😊 syncrosity. Amazing !!!.@@louannpietruszynski4543
When I pulled on the thread of my parent's narcissism, I realized that it ran through (almost) *all* of my relationships. While I was in my last defacto relationship I used to wonder why I didn't feel any closer to her as time passed, there was no depth to her -she did not share how she felt -at all -ever. It was like living with a stranger and I always sensed that she was still playing -and then ~she was. She could leave so easily because she'd never arrived! I now realize that her discarding me was a merciful early release. I wish everyone the full recovery of everything these "relationships". ☮💜
I so relate to that, exactly the same way it was with my now estranged husband who won't sign the divorce papers... go figure! It's drug out over a year and he is the one who did many mini-discards, and two holiday-wrecking-major-discards... leaving for months - but I didn't, and won't, take any more of his pathetic hoover attempts. I told him the next time he walked away, it would be the LAST time he put me through that level of hell. I've kept true to my words. It helps that this man possesses ZERO empathy, is incapable of loving, and has such a strong sense of entitlement coupled with the victim mentality that he could not offer ANYTHING that anyone in their right mind could hold onto to justify "giving it one more chance." And it is so true what they say - he walked out the first time five months into the marriage. I didn't know what hit me. I took him back after almost 3 months, and it only gets worse!!!!! The devaluation, the abuse, the financial exploitation and in my case, the sexual abuse...all of it just got worse.
Our entire marriage spanned 3 years and it's AMAZING the amount of DAMAGE he created... my attorney looked at me and said "he was a wrecking ball that blew through your life leaving so much wreckage" - he tried, and nearly destroyed everything I spent twenty years building within my business. It's unfathomable how these kinds of people act as a cancer in every facet of your life..... they truly are LEECHING CANCEROUS CELLS
Run like hell, and don't look back. Stay safe and well tribe. Always thank you, Andrew.❣️
Yes Dear Andrew.
It all hurts still when I think back on it.
My life feels dull now but I can breathe in peace of mind.
I am grateful to have had you for my mentor thru my awakening process. Thank you ❤
All of Andrew’s videos are spot on but for me, this is one of the top three if not the best - all of it so true, he knows what he’s talking about!
😌😌🙏
If I have to play games with a toxic and narcissistic individual AGAIN I will continue to stay single. Stable healthy relationships take work, but nothing like the meat grinder lifestyle of narcissistic abusive relationship/marriage.
I have been in the position of being financially trapped with no way out, or the ability to raise my two children at the time. I am not, nor ever will be wealthy, and that is OK, but I don't want to be at the mercy of an unmerciful person again. Nor do I want "a sugar daddy " who will control my every waking moment.
Yeah, because in relationships with sane humans, they give back. All the narcissist does is take and take and take and take and take some more.
Your wealth is the freedom and the joy of being free to "just be" and have peace of mind and will. Blessings!❤
@@philippians4410 true...and when all you have left is your heart and soul, you (I) have to guard (protect) it from the evil that exists in the world.
@lourdesecheverria6209 yes, peace of mind and joy in knowing you are free from the abuse. You can breathe deeply and no longer have to hold your breath in fear.💨🙏❤️ 😊
When I catched them looking at me sideways the evil look of hatred they give you I think sometimes they don't realize they are making that face the mask slipping when you catch them off guard once they do their face going back to normal is like they were possessed for a moment
The ex is on oxygen and still smoking. The rescuer in me wants to bring him soup. But watching Andrew Video reminded me: I am not a doctor nor a nurse. He is a grown man and he is the smartest person on earth. Almost jump back into the fire. Thank You Andrew. Namaste 🙏
Namaste..😌🙏🙌
Yes, the narcissist definitely does not want help. They want to do what they want to do. Period. They will only do something someone else wants if it benefits them. They wanted you on the sidelines taking care of everything, acting like things were fine to the outside world & never calling them out. I remember reading things & getting lightbulb moments as to who exactly the narcissist was. It is shocking. You want to believe that this can't be true, that this couldn't be who they are. But the truth is staring you right in the face. They are users & liars. Devious manipulators. That is how they are with everyone. When you reach the pinnacle of indifference & heal, it will be crystal clear who the narcissist is. Their behavior will no longer be an enigma. And like Andrew said, you will be a changed person. For the better. And you won't ever see the world in the same way again. I am healed. It definitely takes time. Really listen to Andrew. Utilize the tools & knowledge he gives. He is an excellent teacher. Take everything on your heart to God in prayer. You got this. Just give it time. Excellent video Andrew☀️. All truth. I resonate with it all. Love the rainbow prisms🌈 of sunlight shining over the hill top. So beautiful🙂☀️ Have a good night🙂 God bless ☀️
Thank you for sharing 😌💯🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You're welcome 🙂
They do not want help. They are perfect. Everyone else is the problem.
Hear, hear to everything Andrew imparted in this stellar video - and to everything you expressed here in your response. It all directly resonates with me 100%, as well! Namaste. 🙏🏼
OMG. He had the money and he tried to make me his slave; I was a true, paid hoop jumper. You have really helped me.
Yes they are fakers and takers……but as you heal and get to the top of the mt of indifference you see who they are/were so clearly its shocking….grateful to be out of it almost a year…so much change and clarity……thank god for this channel and the wisdom
⛰️🌲❤️☀️
God loves you and so do I very much
One's inherent goodness, honesty, generosity of spirit - it's all exploited. In stages.
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The family always comes first. Siblings will never turn on you. No, family no longer comes first. And, siblings will turn on you, especially if they can work at it together. I learned the hard way that I come first, second, and third.
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Yes! And do not ever feel like you need to explain or apologize for it. My family is not my biological family. Blessings!❤❤
My heart goes out to all the folks in long term relationships with a narcissist.
My marriage lasted 4 yrs and only a year and a half under the same room because I raised hell at all the gaslighting. Yes I was in love with her.. And this is the first time I have said that past tense I thank God. She tried to Hoover for the first time and I sent one of your videos Andy and a few comments that were actually nice. What did she do? Blocked me lol.. I have her blocking me I don’t care one way or the other and get stronger every day. She is too toxic to communicate in a healthy fashion and went away. That’s fine there is only a tiny part of me that feels anything for that mask. Once that trauma bond has been seriously fractured it’s like a wound that puss runs out of but it quickly starts you coming to life and loving yourself.
I am so glad this is behind me and I will know to NEVER ignore red flags of dysfunctional people. I don’t HAVE to be just anybody’s friend I have standards of kindness and listening and adulthood.
Keep it up Mr.Andrew🎉
Exactly. However, infrequently horrible things were done. Mostly he hid it from me but even the world who saw it was in denial. After all, he said things about me to pave the way for me running away, which he expected to happen. These are dangerous people.
We all Deserve much better ,,💡💗💗💗💗💗💗keep on the Healing path everyone,,peace,joy,and an Abundant Life lies Ahead,,🌺🌼☘️
🌷🦋🌸🌺🌻🌹🪷🕊️🙏🏻❤️☀️
…above and beyond what we could ask or think…
thank you flowerpower and Andrew ❤️☀️🙏🏻🌷
Thanks for your kindness🌺🌼☘️🕊️🕊️🕯️🕯️✨🕊️🕯️
You really do have to go through it to understand it for sure...
✨☀️Heaven’s radiant light beautified this message. ❤️🙏
Absolutely. Hollywood could never ever replicate my story. Even Hollywood will never produce a movie that shows this truth. How the human race produced someone without an iota of conscience I will never understand
Thank you Andrew for your wisdom. I need to hear you often because I keep forgetting
Welcome..🙏😌💯
Is not the "human race" is a spiritual way and has nothing to do with "humans". Understand that so that you can be FREE.
Thank you for your videos and wisdom, Andrew. I just got out of a relationship with a woman who is a major narc. We have a 1,5 year old daugther and my ex has had a depression all the way through my daughters life. I had to do everything, work, take care of our daughter though the nights, morning, then work and then back to take my daughter, weekends etc. I helped my ex with therapy, paid for all through the last 1,5 year.. Then when I ended the relationship, she leaves and goes to a crisis center for women with our daughter and acuse me of being violent. Right now I am fighting with all that I can. I have a good paying job and can afford a good lawyer, but this is the worst thing I have experiences in my life. I have not seen my daughter for 2+ weeks now. I have listened to a lot of your videos and they give me hope and understanding of that went on in the relationship. All the best from me ❤❤
Good afternoon Andrew and everyone❤ Stay strong it will get better don’t ever give up 🙏❤️❤️❤️☺️
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I wish I didn't have all these medical challenges now, and I regret putting 35 years into him. Get out. Stay out.❣️
I was told…….. hush up…… because this is family talk 🙄 And…….. don’t ere your dirty laundry
In other words: My Narcissist husband warned me not to talk about what happens with in our family. Hush up……….🙄🤦♀️🙈
Absolutely right Andrew 🎯 i was blindsided because first i didn't have the education on narcissism and second my ex narc husband is a different type of a narcissist than my mother was. So he wasn't acting like her. He is a covert and my mother was a classic narc. So i had no way of putting two and two together. But now i know and if it is in the cards for me to share my life with someone again someday well i have all the tools and the person will be the opposit of them. Have a wonderful evening coach ❤❤😊
Thanks to Andrew, we do have the tools to be successful in any type of relationship and stear clear of narcs. You got this 👍 💪 😊
@@marybarton5651 thanks Mary 💖🙌🙏
I was so much walking on eggshells I had no idea where to turn.
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It’s amazing that some therapists aren’t wise to narcissists , when you go to couples therapy, or even your own individual therapy…
You can seek out therapists with experience or expertise with narcissists or with domestic abuse…
There are more and more of them… it makes a big difference:)
I am sure Andrew has the experience and the expertise on narcissistic. Hint!
Love should not be this ugly situation. We are abused over and over with their manipulative, lying, and deceptive behavior, and we took it all and then some. They will never admit to it or apologize. Just get out and say goodbye to them.
That was my learning path. I had to go though what I went though to get where I’m going
My life has seen several unbelievable ‘miracles’
The one I am so grateful for was when God rescued me from my narcissistic wife
I tried and tried , and almost went broke until i was discarded.
The miracles continued with a good therapist, a good lawyer, and then a no nonsense judge
My life soared.
Living with a narcissist is very stressful and I became very sick
The miracles continued with a full recovery
The lesson: recognize the dysfunction in your relationship. Your mental and physical health are at stake. Get out NOW.
😌😌🙏💯
Listen to Andrew when he says cut with all flying monkeys. Today i ran into my "trusted" neighbour/friend who ive been having coffee/lunches with. She said she ran into my narcex and spoke to him. She suggested maybe me and narcex could be friends one day!?! I said to her how can anyone be friends with someone who had them arrested and carted away in a police paddy wagon!?!?? Anyhow, im ✂️ ng every flying monkey from my life because they are indeed under the spell of a master manipulator 😡
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I have experienced just about everything that you pointed out in this exceptional video. I am Italian on my mother's side. I learned early on that what I saw. I did not see. When you are a child, the mold is set. My grandfather had colon cancer. The immediate family knew it,however, he was told he had diverticulitis. for fear of the dreaded word cancer being exposed. I now know that with your teachings and this incredible community that I had stayed in 2 Narc Marriages because the behaviors were familiar to me from my childhood. The pieces of the puzzle are almost complete. Many thanks. ❤🙏💯☮️👍
I am currently in the second scenario, a 55 year old housewife dependent on the narcissist money, he is a doctor. Shocking his emotional abuse and drinking, yet can go and care for others. I need all the courage to get away. I just wish I’d acted on the red flags when my daughter was born 20 years ago. I want to run to the hills and yes this ageing narcissist is all that you have described at the end of your video. That part is so troubling.
Have a plan and execute. Safety first 🙏❤💪
Wow 😎👌……! You’ve spoken my former existence with my former Nar husband 🤦♀️
You just described the rage fits of throwing things and the fear when they are driving the car in a rage and how terrified i was many times in the car. Even when i told him after he stopped the car the last time i was in it with him that he scared me, he didnt even apologise and said the guy on the road he sped up towards ‘deserved it’. Completely invalidating my fear when he did it. I never told any one until now about his car rages and they are shocked.
Hello Big brother.
Is not been a plecent Journey to b honnest with u from the bottom.
Thanks so much buddy for shide some ligth on us.
Great job PAL.
When I told him he needed help, he said; “ we’ll work on you first “
lol.
💯💯😌
She told me if I didn’t kill my dog by Friday….I loved my dog more than her….he passed at home with me, he saved me from her….without my dog, I probably would have moved in with her and started a business.
He saved me from the narcissist even in his dying days.
She just said good! This is what YOU wanted was to put a dying dog ahead of me….😥
You’re right, no empathy or love, how can another human treat a human like this?
Thank you for being out there and putting these videos up, they help me heal and learn about these evil, hateful people.
Welcome 😌😌🙏
I’m so sorry about your pup 🥹If my pets don’t like someone, there is the door!
In the end we will know Who's Fake...Who's True..and Who would risk it all for you..
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It was a fantasy it was all fake u be thinking it’s true but it’s a false reality. And thx for your msg and content it’s much appreciated ❤
Since no narcissists my life is so much more happier and balanced🙏🙏🌻🌻Thanks Andrew! Hope you will have a nice and blessed day!🙏🙏
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This was such a grand illusion.
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This was just so spot on about what happens when your go to therapy…. you are teamed up on. The finger is pointed at you as the source of the marital problems. Thank-you Andrew
Welcome 😌😌🙏
Nohe drained me of myself no one around family might of ... You figure it out
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Accountability is the key. The trauma bond is real. ❤️
Wisdom is experience with understanding and knowledge. ❤Thank you Andrew and community!❤
Count it all joy my brother when you fall into various Temptations for the trying of your faith worketh patience and patience when it has its perfect way is wonderful
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Support👍🕊️🕊️🕊️💗💗💗💗💗
Hey Andrew I had enough of my narcissistic wife getting very sick of her beating me down can’t do this anymore I know you help all of us I tried everything not working now she’s hiding all of our money in her own account leaving me with nothing can’t live like this anymore I would rather be not here 😢 thank you for all your help 🙏💔✌️
Welcome..😌😌🙏
Thank you so much for this video! God bless you too, and everyone who needs this 😊🙏🏻🌼
Hi Andrew how are you? Well I am talking to someone right now and she has to deal with rude customers at her job I told her that I'm sorry that she has to go through this but things will get better I know what it's like to deal with rude people but they're never going to change
One of his faves was "It s your choice".
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I have enough, I've done enough, and I am enough
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"somebodys gotta work around here" was the response when I shared my disappointed about him working every day after we got married , had our first child and was not working outside the home.
I can share on the topic of thearapy. Exactly what you said, I was shocked when she said me and the thearpist were picking on her like her Mom did. Right there I knew it was not me with the problem. I had the feeling that I could get out of this mess but I did not have the strength to do so. This was years before I finally made the break. I can identify with any of you who are like this now! The great thing is that I can look back on it now without feeling all that pain again! Always have the best wishes for you all. Thanks Andrew...
6:33 Great message ❤!
Thank you Andrew❤
Welcome 🙏😌❤️
Thank You Very Much Andrew❤🙏
Love it! Completely living it.
💯💯😌
Thank you for the wisdom Andrew! ❤
He stressed me out and upset me so much toward the end. I was completely spent.
I miss him, but I'm incredibly angry and hurt.
Thank you for the video, Andrew. I'm very slowly healing because of your content.
Great video Andrew ! Yes it's the Era of Accountability. No more excuses ! Enough is enough !!! Thank you !!
Projection of what I wanted to see, willing to deny my interests for those of others. It was like quitting smoking: took 3 times to go no contact, just like the political cult I is was in for 4 years. Lucky I have anything left.
Yes you pull away hoping they might change, and then when you return they ramp up the disrespect and it makes it even worse! Like you cant believe the nitemare wont end. I went for my first counselling appointment today, its arrived at the right time now Im figuring this out more.
They teach nothing about the real world at school.
MONEY AND THE LAW ....... Not Taught At School ....... etc .
@@budgieburger595 They teach just enough shit so you will be an obedient slave to an evil corrupt system.
Don’t delete my comments.
It’s not on
Religious instruction is so simple honest and truth it has been removed from schools. I believe things were better or at least some had an opportunity to explore right living.
I was all in. Money was only a tool to get needs met. I am a professional and he worked lawn care. So, I earned the bulk of it. But honest to GOD! He is a black hole! 👍 Yep that one tried to take me out.
Oh well, at least I remember to choose ME first now.
❤
Blessings still watching and healing with your videos. Thank you Andrew.....always
Thanks Andrew 🙄💕
Whoa!
Very powerful video✨
Your videos are going to be helping people all around the world🌎I now sincerely think I’m one of the fortunate ones to be out of the toxic relationship with your help‼️I’m grateful for all of your empowering, supportive and encouraging help❤️
😌😌🙏🙌
I could never be with the narc again ..don’t ever want to see him, but I’m still angry at him hopefully in time it will subside
I am version 3.0 and rising up like a phoenix! It was nearly the fall of me but I can clearly see the wood for the trees. Thank you!
Wow this is a very powerful video! Listen to every word! Andrew you are so correct and discerning on every behavior detail! I am so grateful for the information you have enlightened us here on the channel. I have been passing this information onto my high school grandchildren who are experiencing manipulation from people their age and adults who try to abuse them verbally, emotionally etc.
I can most easily emotionally ditch these ***tards but still lament an irreplaceable possession stolen.
Anyway, Andrew, you mentioned Hollywood. An awful lot of narcissism there! I must admit to being a William Holden fan though (Sunset Boulevard, Love is a Many Splendored Thing, Stalag 17, Breezy, Wild Rovers, etc.)
OH MY GOODNESS... You Are right. I watched a lot of Hollywood movies of that same Era, in my teenage years and I had no clue that they revolved around narcissistic personalities. We were educated after all, but we just didn't know that we were being educated to think that this was "normal" relational behavior. No wonder society is so messed up.💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡💡
You can't "know" anyone if you don't know yourself. Know who you are before you give yourself away to others. Blessings! ❤❤
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Good point, I wasn’t in tune with myself when I met the creeps.
Thank you that's where I messed up , 25 years ago. ❤
@@mss80308 💖
@@mss80308 💖
Hi Andrew. Perfect video. Thank you ❤
Mine was actually on POF and made sure I knew.
Im accustomed to men that love and respect women. I love and respect good men
Andrew I appreciate all your videos I have been going to therapy for a year as my wife took my kids and just moved the whole marriage was me running as hard as I could while she was absent or just a spectator 17 years later she just left ? You are right on so much of what you describe is what happened. This is the worst thing I ever faced so confusing and painful but starting to see the truth thank you for taking the time to help, I appreciate you.
🎉thank you
At first, I couldn't figure out what was going on. I asked God to show what kind of person he was! And he did! Things started to unravel very quickly. In about 2 months, I realized that I was dealing with a narcissistic/toxic person. I was starting to distinct myself from him (emotionally detaching). And then I found out that he was cheating and lying to me. I WAS DONE after that Blocked/No Contact! The best decision I ever made in my life... You can do it to we all are strong 💪. Walk away and keep it moving....
The rainbow light loves your sight😎
❤Andrew back ,again, true!😅
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It’s always the same just another day,always making me move to serve him,no matter what,has no feelings for me with my bad legs😎
I asked chat GPT how many narcs were in the world and it estimated between 1 and 6 percent. If it’s 6, that translates to roughly 480 million people. At first I thought they should all have to go to Antarctica, but I wouldn’t want them to mess with the penguins. One of the moons of Saturn or Jupiter would be good. Preferably one with no underground ocean. Don’t want them getting supply on unsuspecting aquatic life.
Namaste Andrew 🙏🏼☀️😊
When your with a narcissist your in an open relationship, they just forget to tell you
Thank you Andrew!! ❤❤❤
❤Thank you Andrew ❤️🙏😘