Excellent information! Validating a child's feeling is vital for personal growth and individuality. It is a shame that my parents failed me as a child. Now I have to reprogram myself. The process is going to be long but I want to take the journey for my personal growth.
I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s iPhones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr James was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020
This came right on time. I fought really hard not to end it all last night because I realized this about myself but can’t figure a way out. I feel like life is not meant to be lived by everyone. It seems like narcissists thrive while draining the life out of others. I don’t even know what to do or who I actually am anymore and no amount of therapy or talking is gonna fix it. Your videos are always helpful as to figuring out what’s actually going on with me. The crazy part is my parents don’t even do this to me anymore but the effects from them doing it in childhood carried over and now I’m stuck
Yes, that's soo lol me.My parentenemy's lol parents/enemy's died of old age, my siblenemy's lol siblings/enemy's have caught the narcopathic narc/psychopathic bug lol. I don't blame you, I've made minimal improvement.
The fact that you didn't go through with it last night is a win. I still live with my narcs, and just recently cut off another major narc who was a long-time love interest, and I'm grieving the loss. I was going to therapy, journaling, trying to talk to friends, nothing was working anymore. I used to be on medication but came off of it years ago. But my suicidal ideations pushed me to the point of not functioning and I had to fold and say that maybe I need to get back on medication. Thankfully, the psychiatrist I have now actually knows what they are doing, and was able to diagnose me accordingly. It's still a fight for me, and my physical symptoms have found other ways to manifest so I have to battle those. Do you have a safety plan in place for the ideations?
sleepbaby17 yep I keep telling myself you made it through another night so just keep pushing through. But I’m glad you found a psychiatrist that that actually knows what they’re doing. As far as a plan, the only one I have is a way out if it has to come to it
Please listen to me when I say the worth of your life is immeasurable! You are gold and never accept anyone telling you anything less! You’re a survivor and that’s why you were able to survive last night! Please keep fighting to live every single day! You’re an inspiration!! I sincerely wish you all the best !❤️
Discovering the Narcissistic Father thank you so much for the message but you are the true inspiration. By making these videos, you’re inspiring us all to keep going by helping us realize we’re not crazy and stronger than we can imagine. ❤️
Girl, I wish this video should go viral! This video resolve why i feel that heaviness inside of me all my life, wow!! I basically just descovered that tonight!
Thank you. My parents are master invalidators, it gives them a sense of power. By invalidating me, passing judgement on my feelings, telling me what to feel, that I'll understand later as a parent, that I'm ungrateful, they think they're "raising" me or "teaching" me. They do it SYSTEMATICALLY. I'm trying to learn to self-validate. It's so hard, learning from scratch as you say. I have no basis. I have a hard time identifying feelings... Long journey ahead...
Omg I just found this channel after my dad did something that crossed a line now that I'm an adult and I know now that I was not wrong my entire childhood......you are describing my childhood and to finally feel validation means so much!
I feel my family consisted mostly of narcs vying for power over one another, trying to make flying monkeys of each other. 1 cousin and myself were the scapegoats, punching bags to take frustration out on. They sadistically planned my destruction, ie, I was not allowed to get school supplies for a science project, nor go to the library(this was selfish of me) but then criticized for getting a bad grade(A- somehow still). I would ask to cut the grass but would be told how selfish that is, making them do work such as drive to get some gas. So I would then go and play or study. Then they would come stomping in yelling about how I ran away from my chore of cutting grass, which there still is no gas for the mower. I then am put on restriction and what little toys I had were taken away. I said my head hurts. They said "Children can't get headaches. Children get fevers. Adults get headaches." Then I would be punished for lying. I have 100,000's of such examples, unfortunately.
Love your passion in this one. I think in a way I always knew who I was, but I became afraid of expressing it, like who I was wasn't good enough. For me it wasn't just my parents, but I was picked on and bullied by other kids...seemed like I always had a target on my back. I was so sensitive, I took it all to heart, and I didn't have any skills for handling it or standing up for myself. Now that I'm on the healing journey, lately I've been beating myself up for getting stuck somewhat in feeling angry, but then I realized that I suppressed my anger for over 30 years, so I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself for feeling it now.
Sorry to hear. I'm pretty sure I just realized I have aspergers at 40 while going through this experience so I can relate to being bullied because people don't get you.
This is so true. It took a long time for me to realize this is what happened to me and why it took so long for me to truly understand who I am, what I believe, and how I feel.
I literally had this entire conversation with my narc ex-fiance that I was still in love with. Over the years his patterns were becoming more and more obvious, and invalidation was one of his favorite tactics. I would say, "when this happens, I feel this way" his reply always was l, "you shouldn't feel that way" full stop. And I would say well I do, and on a loop he would just keep saying "you shouldn't feel that way." Without giving any cause or reason why I shouldn't, he would just repeat over and over again, "you shouldn't feel that way. You should feel this other way." I started my No Contact journey with him a few days ago. He couldn't even wait for 24hrs before he was reaching out demanding that I give him money to get somewhere, and then tried to guilt-trip me when I didn't reply saying that I was selfish for the bringing about the consequences that would happen to him because of him not getting the money. I was disgusted...
sleepbaby17 I swear the shit is exhausting! Keep your head up and keep ignoring it. Don’t let him guilt you into anything. I’ve cut off most of my family on both sides because of this. Making me feel stupid for not taking care of them or acknowledging them, but when I need the acknowledgement, they’re nowhere to be found.
@@carlab30 nowhere to be found at all. I've cut off pretty much my mother's family. I still live with one of the narc, and she loves to walk past me with her nose in the air to further "discard" me. Smh... I can't catch a break
Noble Phantazm mine told me I had a demon in me and I was crazy and I would believe it because I was a child and he said it so much that I thought it might actually be true.
my mom is a co dependant... she treats me like: adult, child, husband. very confusing. when I disagree. I'm a kid when I'm needy. I'm an adult. when she's needy, I'm husband.
Thank you.. for verbally breaking all of this down like you did.. I’ve never looked at things this way and have always jus blamed myself and it makes more sense now why.. I always jus want to die. This helps me.. so much. Thank you again. Take care .
Thank you for this video. I really have been learning about this after an extremely abusive marriage. I’ve had the opportunity to speak with my father a lot about the situation and his reaction to it was so strange apart from everybody else’s. It was feeling like the marriage where he was telling me my feelings were wrong and I am misunderstanding and I don’t know what’s happening etc. when I said to him I feel more comfortable speaking with my friends about it because you don’t understand me. He said to me, that’s terrible, how would you feel if your daughter said to you her friends understand her better. I really thought about that comment and I said I would want to understand why she felt more comfort from her friends than with me, what was it that I was doing that was making her feel this way and I’d want to learn from it so I can adjust myself and understand her point of view. He literally saw it as an insult and that I was completely wrong in my feeling and my incorrect feeling hurt his feeling. And he didn’t understand that but I understand completely. Thank you for explaining it so well!
A boy and his father go camping/hunting, the boy always knew the 'step father' didn't like him infact he told him so on occasion. The boy always wanted the love that he never felt he got, he wanted to be accepted to be loved, to feel a part of the family, the way the boy thought life should be. That boy wanted to make his dad happy, proud to be his father but... he wasn't, always he felt defective, because he'd always been told so , he was autistic after many years diagnosed but therefore never repairable..... When that day his dad shot a deer, although unfortunately the deer didn't go out with out a fight it ran down a deep canyon evading the boy and his father. The boy looked at the terrain thinking there might be a better way than the way they came. But the father screamed at him "what the fuck are you doing?!? get down there!!!" the boy didn't even grab his bow, he got on the 4 wheeler and rode as fast as he could down the mountain the boy crashed around 200yards down the mountain ( and not the father's fault but the boy's) crushed his pelvis, he couldn't walk or even really sit...The boy tried yelling and screaming for help but nobody came, in and out of consciousness he laid, red ants were crawling all over him, he knew his life was in serious jeopardy as his hip filled with blood. The boy laid for a long time until he said "I have to help my self" he scooted down to the mangled 4 wheeler luckily it was on its side and facing downward. Then the boy saw the father who was furious and angry the boy was "screwing around" (which the boy did do) but the boy said im hurt bad hurt bad but his father was angry because of the adrenaline of shooting the deer, but the father in an epic fashion backs up the steep terrain (and why the reason that boy drives backward for fun) the boy was taken to the bar where his father met with his mom he was transfered into her vehicle and this because his injury wasn't something that was interesting or importance to his father, and his father could go back and find the deer. The boy doesn't remember so much after that as it was a long drive. But the boy does remember the dr.'s and nurses looking more and more concerned at the screens laying on top of that cold hard mri table wondering what was going to happen and while nurses kept poking and prodding him to stay awake, when the boys mother came out and met with the Dr. The boy laid and heard the mother vaguely tell the Dr. How accident had transpired and the question raised where was his father? .. looking for his deer. the look on the dr. and what the Dr. said will haunt that boy forever "you need to get him here NOW! your son is dying" the dr. Leaves and the boys mother turns and says "I wonder how much this is gonna cost us" ... the boy waited days to get surgery until he was stable enough to do so. IM TELLING EVERYONE NOW THIS IS WHY I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE AND THE FUCKING REASON I STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE. STOP YOUR DAMN SPECULATION. That day i think i died inside you can fuck off if you don't like it. That day i knew that the love I seek... 'the love I needed' I would never find and that idea of it was bullshit .. the things you do, the things you say can impact a life and the repercussions of that lasts a lifetime.
This is so true for me I feel like I have start my whole life over cause I don't know who the heck I am at all.
Started this journey 2 years ago and i keep learning more
You can get through this
Excellent information! Validating a child's feeling is vital for personal growth and individuality. It is a shame that my parents failed me as a child. Now I have to reprogram myself. The process is going to be long but I want to take the journey for my personal growth.
I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s iPhones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr James was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020
This came right on time. I fought really hard not to end it all last night because I realized this about myself but can’t figure a way out. I feel like life is not meant to be lived by everyone. It seems like narcissists thrive while draining the life out of others. I don’t even know what to do or who I actually am anymore and no amount of therapy or talking is gonna fix it. Your videos are always helpful as to figuring out what’s actually going on with me. The crazy part is my parents don’t even do this to me anymore but the effects from them doing it in childhood carried over and now I’m stuck
Yes, that's soo lol me.My parentenemy's lol parents/enemy's died of old age, my siblenemy's lol siblings/enemy's have caught the narcopathic narc/psychopathic bug lol. I don't blame you, I've made minimal improvement.
The fact that you didn't go through with it last night is a win. I still live with my narcs, and just recently cut off another major narc who was a long-time love interest, and I'm grieving the loss.
I was going to therapy, journaling, trying to talk to friends, nothing was working anymore. I used to be on medication but came off of it years ago. But my suicidal ideations pushed me to the point of not functioning and I had to fold and say that maybe I need to get back on medication.
Thankfully, the psychiatrist I have now actually knows what they are doing, and was able to diagnose me accordingly. It's still a fight for me, and my physical symptoms have found other ways to manifest so I have to battle those.
Do you have a safety plan in place for the ideations?
sleepbaby17 yep I keep telling myself you made it through another night so just keep pushing through. But I’m glad you found a psychiatrist that that actually knows what they’re doing. As far as a plan, the only one I have is a way out if it has to come to it
Please listen to me when I say the worth of your life is immeasurable! You are gold and never accept anyone telling you anything less! You’re a survivor and that’s why you were able to survive last night! Please keep fighting to live every single day! You’re an inspiration!! I sincerely wish you all the best !❤️
Discovering the Narcissistic Father thank you so much for the message but you are the true inspiration. By making these videos, you’re inspiring us all to keep going by helping us realize we’re not crazy and stronger than we can imagine. ❤️
Girl, I wish this video should go viral! This video resolve why i feel that heaviness inside of me all my life, wow!! I basically just descovered that tonight!
Wow!!!! I’m glad I could help!!! And Awww thank you
Thank you. My parents are master invalidators, it gives them a sense of power. By invalidating me, passing judgement on my feelings, telling me what to feel, that I'll understand later as a parent, that I'm ungrateful, they think they're "raising" me or "teaching" me. They do it SYSTEMATICALLY. I'm trying to learn to self-validate. It's so hard, learning from scratch as you say. I have no basis. I have a hard time identifying feelings... Long journey ahead...
Sorry to hear. This one hits the nail on the head for me. And the gaslighting is ridiculous.
Omg I just found this channel after my dad did something that crossed a line now that I'm an adult and I know now that I was not wrong my entire childhood......you are describing my childhood and to finally feel validation means so much!
Your videos are so great
Wow speechless 😶 thank you 😊
I feel my family consisted mostly of narcs vying for power over one another, trying to make flying monkeys of each other. 1 cousin and myself were the scapegoats, punching bags to take frustration out on.
They sadistically planned my destruction, ie, I was not allowed to get school supplies for a science project, nor go to the library(this was selfish of me) but then criticized for getting a bad grade(A- somehow still).
I would ask to cut the grass but would be told how selfish that is, making them do work such as drive to get some gas. So I would then go and play or study. Then they would come stomping in yelling about how I ran away from my chore of cutting grass, which there still is no gas for the mower. I then am put on restriction and what little toys I had were taken away.
I said my head hurts. They said "Children can't get headaches. Children get fevers. Adults get headaches." Then I would be punished for lying.
I have 100,000's of such examples, unfortunately.
Love your passion in this one. I think in a way I always knew who I was, but I became afraid of expressing it, like who I was wasn't good enough. For me it wasn't just my parents, but I was picked on and bullied by other kids...seemed like I always had a target on my back. I was so sensitive, I took it all to heart, and I didn't have any skills for handling it or standing up for myself. Now that I'm on the healing journey, lately I've been beating myself up for getting stuck somewhat in feeling angry, but then I realized that I suppressed my anger for over 30 years, so I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself for feeling it now.
Sorry to hear. I'm pretty sure I just realized I have aspergers at 40 while going through this experience so I can relate to being bullied because people don't get you.
This is so true. It took a long time for me to realize this is what happened to me and why it took so long for me to truly understand who I am, what I believe, and how I feel.
I literally had this entire conversation with my narc ex-fiance that I was still in love with. Over the years his patterns were becoming more and more obvious, and invalidation was one of his favorite tactics. I would say, "when this happens, I feel this way" his reply always was l, "you shouldn't feel that way" full stop.
And I would say well I do, and on a loop he would just keep saying "you shouldn't feel that way." Without giving any cause or reason why I shouldn't, he would just repeat over and over again, "you shouldn't feel that way. You should feel this other way."
I started my No Contact journey with him a few days ago. He couldn't even wait for 24hrs before he was reaching out demanding that I give him money to get somewhere, and then tried to guilt-trip me when I didn't reply saying that I was selfish for the bringing about the consequences that would happen to him because of him not getting the money. I was disgusted...
sleepbaby17 I swear the shit is exhausting! Keep your head up and keep ignoring it. Don’t let him guilt you into anything. I’ve cut off most of my family on both sides because of this. Making me feel stupid for not taking care of them or acknowledging them, but when I need the acknowledgement, they’re nowhere to be found.
@@carlab30 nowhere to be found at all. I've cut off pretty much my mother's family. I still live with one of the narc, and she loves to walk past me with her nose in the air to further "discard" me. Smh... I can't catch a break
Noble Phantazm mine told me I had a demon in me and I was crazy and I would believe it because I was a child and he said it so much that I thought it might actually be true.
Sorry to hear. Constant invalidation and gaslighting will bring your self esteem to non existent. It sucks.
They can also force you to believe that you don’t have the right to feel any kind of negative way.
🗣🗣FACTS!!!
Wow thank you
Aww, I love the education, you're comments back at me and encouragement.Take care, thanks again and you're welcome.
my mom is a co dependant...
she treats me like:
adult, child, husband.
very confusing.
when I disagree. I'm a kid
when I'm needy. I'm an adult.
when she's needy, I'm husband.
You’re absolutely amazing. Thank you
Wow day made thank you ❤️
Great, great insghts! Again! Bravo!
Wow all I can say is thank you
You nailed this⚘❤
Thank you.
You’re very welcome ☺️
Thank you ........
Thank you.. for verbally breaking all of this down like you did.. I’ve never looked at things this way and have always jus blamed myself and it makes more sense now why.. I always jus want to die. This helps me.. so much. Thank you again. Take care .
Thank you for this video. I really have been learning about this after an extremely abusive marriage. I’ve had the opportunity to speak with my father a lot about the situation and his reaction to it was so strange apart from everybody else’s. It was feeling like the marriage where he was telling me my feelings were wrong and I am misunderstanding and I don’t know what’s happening etc. when I said to him I feel more comfortable speaking with my friends about it because you don’t understand me. He said to me, that’s terrible, how would you feel if your daughter said to you her friends understand her better.
I really thought about that comment and I said I would want to understand why she felt more comfort from her friends than with me, what was it that I was doing that was making her feel this way and I’d want to learn from it so I can adjust myself and understand her point of view. He literally saw it as an insult and that I was completely wrong in my feeling and my incorrect feeling hurt his feeling.
And he didn’t understand that but I understand completely. Thank you for explaining it so well!
Preach sis!🙌🏾♥️♥️♥️
You rock!
Awww thank you soooo much 🥰
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666 You got it! I love your response back to me, good stuff right there.
A boy and his father go camping/hunting, the boy always knew the 'step father' didn't like him infact he told him so on occasion. The boy always wanted the love that he never felt he got, he wanted to be accepted to be loved, to feel a part of the family, the way the boy thought life should be. That boy wanted to make his dad happy, proud to be his father but... he wasn't, always he felt defective, because he'd always been told so , he was autistic after many years diagnosed but therefore never repairable..... When that day his dad shot a deer, although unfortunately the deer didn't go out with out a fight it ran down a deep canyon evading the boy and his father. The boy looked at the terrain thinking there might be a better way than the way they came. But the father screamed at him "what the fuck are you doing?!? get down there!!!" the boy didn't even grab his bow, he got on the 4 wheeler and rode as fast as he could down the mountain the boy crashed around 200yards down the mountain ( and not the father's fault but the boy's) crushed his pelvis, he couldn't walk or even really sit...The boy tried yelling and screaming for help but nobody came, in and out of consciousness he laid, red ants were crawling all over him, he knew his life was in serious jeopardy as his hip filled with blood. The boy laid for a long time until he said "I have to help my self" he scooted down to the mangled 4 wheeler luckily it was on its side and facing downward. Then the boy saw the father who was furious and angry the boy was "screwing around" (which the boy did do) but the boy said im hurt bad hurt bad but his father was angry because of the adrenaline of shooting the deer, but the father in an epic fashion backs up the steep terrain (and why the reason that boy drives backward for fun) the boy was taken to the bar where his father met with his mom he was transfered into her vehicle and this because his injury wasn't something that was interesting or importance to his father, and his father could go back and find the deer. The boy doesn't remember so much after that as it was a long drive. But the boy does remember the dr.'s and nurses looking more and more concerned at the screens laying on top of that cold hard mri table wondering what was going to happen and while nurses kept poking and prodding him to stay awake, when the boys mother came out and met with the Dr. The boy laid and heard the mother vaguely tell the Dr. How accident had transpired and the question raised where was his father? .. looking for his deer. the look on the dr. and what the Dr. said will haunt that boy forever "you need to get him here NOW! your son is dying" the dr. Leaves and the boys mother turns and says "I wonder how much this is gonna cost us" ... the boy waited days to get surgery until he was stable enough to do so. IM TELLING EVERYONE NOW THIS IS WHY I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE AND THE FUCKING REASON I STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE. STOP YOUR DAMN SPECULATION. That day i think i died inside you can fuck off if you don't like it. That day i knew that the love I seek... 'the love I needed' I would never find and that idea of it was bullshit .. the things you do, the things you say can impact a life and the repercussions of that lasts a lifetime.
thank you so much for this 🥺
You’re welcome ❤️