Therapist Reacts To: A&W by Lana Del Rey - TRIGGER WARNING
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2023
- Trigger Warning - this video contains content that may cause a physical or mental reaction due to the discussion of sexual assault. Please take care of yourselves and use discretion.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault or sexual abuse, please know that there are supports available to you.
RAINN
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Hours: Available 24 hours
1-800-656-4673
Chat online at online.rainn.org
www.rainn.org/articles/sexual...
Victims of crime have rights that depend on the laws of the location (state, territory, tribe) where the crime occurred. Some of the laws that might apply to you if a person has committed the crime of sexual assault against you include:
Availability of a forensic exam (rape kit) at no cost to you
Confidential access to victim advocates
Time limits (statute of limitations) on certain legal actions
Mandated reporting of the assault if you are a vulnerable person (child or elder adult)
Confidential communication with service providers
Testing or storage of evidence kits
Possible financial compensation for you as a crime victim
It is also a good idea to contact a rape crisis center in the area where you were assaulted since they should be familiar with the laws that apply in their area. RAINN maintains an excellent database of state laws that can help you to understand what rights you have.
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Lana has turned her trauma into art
Very beautiful and meaningful art.
From lithium cane poetry
As Carrie Fisher said take your broken heart and make art
why tho... none of those songs are hits. it's a memoir, not a music album
@@kittycat1887 why would you want hits, when you could have something in-depth? Something that can leave an impact on someone’s thoughts for a long time to come?
You know she's a good therapist as she picked up immediately what Lana was trying to say at the 1st line
🤍🤍🤍
This is what I thought!
which is pretty obvious...
It was that part for me! I had to immediately subscribe! I hate my ignorance/privilege from being a male because the kart wheel line has flown right over my head until today. There are so many things we as men take for granted and never have to think or worry about simply because we are men, yet from young ages, women are forced to bear that burden of not only being self aware but aware of how they are perceived by everyone else, but especially men and that’s terrible and I’m sorry.
I love how there’s so much intentionality in Lana’s Penmanship and also sonically with how she collaborated with the producers to put you in a certain mood or to evoke certain emotions through the instrumentation! ❤️
I loved this reaction, it’s the best one I’ve seen so far as to understanding the lyrics and Lana’s frame of mind. Bravo! Can’t wait to watch more! 🙌🏾
true :( finally knowing what this song is actually about and being able to relate it to the things i lived as a child r*pe victim completely broke me
Finally someone understands that lana isn't just poet or aesthetic and she can understand what's the meaning of lana's lyric
truth :)
That song is so heartbreaking. She's not just damaged, she's gone. Done for. Testify in a rape case? What's the point? And then along comes Jimmy. Del Rey is a force. Thanks for this.
welcome. sending you love
In her song "Ultraviolence" her abusive lover is "Jim", I wonder if he and this "Jimmy" are the same person?
"Jim told me that, he hit me and it felt like a kiss"
"Jim brought me back, reminded me of when we were kids"
"Jim taught me that, loving him was never enough"
@@SaVanityVan she is Jimmy
@@SaVanityVan Lana has said in the past that sometimes she's singing about drugs when it seems like she's singing about a man. "Jimmy" could be code for that, for example it could be short for Jim Beam. Lana has struggled with alcohol addiction since she was 14 years old. She has also mentioned always singing about the same guy but that's the guy from Video Games, Born To Die and Blue Jeans and in none of those songs does she mention a Jim or Jimmy.
@Josefine Bliss I think that guy died of an overdose.
I love how a therapist has better understanding of what Lana wanted to say than any poet or person whos reaction video I watched! Thank you for such a good react !
Wow! Thank you for the compliment 🤍
agreed. the soulless reactions on here about the dumb aesthetics or whatever about her song, instead of the actual dark message, were making me cynical. But this lady here truly FEELS the song
@@mendwithmereshe nods to the 2015 movie The Diary of a Teenage Girl, which is a film about a 15 year old who begins an affair with her mother’s boyfriend. She questions whether she is like the main character of the movie.
for real. I was flabbergasted I mean I've blindly listened to that song so many times and she knew what it meant from the first few words like..
Was the poet a man?
I LOVE that finally someone understands the depths of Lana's lyrics without accusing her of "romanticising" things like so many others have - this is her experience, and she's talking about it. Your analysis is completely on point, I love it.
That teenage diary and forensic files connection is GENIUS
she's brilliant
i didn’t get that part
@@fairoadiaryteenage diary of a girl i’m assuming talks about innocent teenage girls and forensic files talked about people with messed minds. lana was saying she should’ve watched forensic files to understand she wasn’t the problem, but instead she watched teenage diary of a girl and it made her feel dirty and like she lost her innocence
@@cheeseconsumer3000Teenage diary of a girl is actually about a 15 year old girl who starts a sexual affair with her mothers 35 year old boyfriend..... it adds a lot of context to this verse
@@cheeseconsumer3000you don’t need to assume what it’s about though, if you haven’t seen it you could look it up…
it sounds like she's talking about using casual sex as a way of trying to fill that void in her heart where love should be. sounds like she's using casual sex as a form of self-harm. too many young women have had this experience.
this is right on point!
Also man
YES
Is it weird as a guy to relate to this lol specifically to the epidemic of casual gay sex
@@desireandfire No sure why that would be weird at all. A lot of gay men feel this way when hooking up and the ones that don’t feel like an “outcast”
I desperately wanted a breast reduction when I was a teenager. I couldn't feel safe in my body and I was constantly harrassed at school for being "underdressed" (cleavage) according to dress code. The truth was that I came from a poor family and grew up in a trailer- my sister and I could only afford to wear hand-me-downs from my older sisters. When I was a teenager, I would be sexually assaulted by a adult man (graduate of my high school, someone who I thought was my friend) who would later be imprisoned for an aggravated charge of doing to his ex wife exactly what he did to me. I always felt shame for not reporting what happened to me... Maybe I could've protected her. He came from a wealthy family, and I was scared. I knew nobody would believe me and my dad told me I shouldn't have been hanging out with him anyway.
Great analysis. Makes me feel less alone when I see how much sexualization and objectification happens to all women and girls. Sharing our stories is important and powerful. Thanks for taking the time to read mine. ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I totally agree that we all need to so we don’t feel so isolated. I feel you about how you felt about your body and the shame when you never asked to be perused by this man or anyone. Please be gentle with yourself around not reporting it. It is more complex than anyone realizes. Feeling scared and then being from a lower socioeconomic status are valid reasons to feel afraid to report. If we talk about it more and if more support is given, especially in cases with such major power dynamics at play, I hope it can help the next person. You have no idea who may read your comment right now and feel the same feelings and feel less alone because of it. Thank you for sharing 🤍
Jim Morrison
Thank you for grasping how dark the second half is! I feel like it's obviously lyrically the "lighter" half of the song given the dark content in the first half, but the warped and chaotic energy and uncomfortable sounds in the second half are just as telling.
Absolutely. It really captured that chaotic feeling
When I was a teen I had a lot of tragic, traumatic experiences including a SA, and because I didn't have the tools to handle it emotionally I spiraled out of control. I turned to substances and men and anything else that would give me a sense of control- all while knowing the reality was that I had none. And the way the second half sounds is the same way the spiral felt.
@@TheAutbomb I can relate..
It sounds like someone who's finally given up. It's so sad. & a vibe lol. Lana is magic.
@@TheAutbomb that’s exactly what i feel too! The ending was anger and the official downfall/spiral out of control. I fucking love this song.
"in her delivery of these lines, Lana interpolates the 1959 song “Shimmy Shimmy KO KO Bop” which is about a man being entranced by an exotic woman (and her dancing). This is most likely meant as innuendo given the sexual themes that are discussed in “A&W.” "
Lana doesn’t explain who Jimmy is but she has aforementioned his name in her pervious June 2014 track “Ultraviolence,” where he’s seen as abusive
pleaaaaaaaaaase more lana
Yeah she did in the latest interview she said Jim Beam is Jimmy
She's named various men "Jim and Jimmy" throughout her discography. At least 10 songs have the name Jim or Jimmy in the lyrics including songs from her Lizzy Grant era. They aren't all the same Jim or Jimmy. She also uses Bill, John, Joe, "K" from For K. (Drive By) and For K part 2 an other pseudonyms to represent the men in her life. "K" is about a former boyfriend named Josh Kemp. He's talked about their relationship, there are some chats between them, he's shared photos of them and he's been to concerts. He's the one from Video Games. Lana has said she had kind of given up the pursuit of being a singer and devoted her time to him and enjoying just watching him play video games.
i thought jimmy was jimmy gnecco, like the one she wrote the song jimmy gnecco about
Jim Beam whiskey
@@mrsa1322 That one, yes. Since she named him and he's a real person, that song was directly about him. The rest are pseudonyms. I'm sure there was an original Jimmy, probably from her teen years.
what is so interesting to me about lana is that she started out as like “americas sweet heart” sugar daddies and expensive night life and her music now is reclaiming herself and telling her own stories. love lana!!
Right.
the movie she was referencing "diary of a teenage girl" is actually very dark, if you watch it or know what its about it definitely adds more context to the theme of the song & what shes singing about. i recommend watching it (only if you are able to handle it, huge trigger warning for on screen CSA & victim blaming)
It is very dark! Very similar to what Lolita talks about. Where the moms bf SA the daughter. As someone whose been in a similar situation I def think Lanas not just randomly saying this stuff.
thank you for letting me know!
The movie was inspired by a graphic novel with the same name by the artist Phoebe Gloeckner. It become way more darker if you think that these stories are someway inspired by the real life of the author. Great book and great drawings by really really raw and hard to handle.
omg im reading it rn and i just realized what you said is right 😭😭
@@ckay8191how come the girl in the diary of a teenage girl was SA? the girl initiated it, she wanted it. it's just she doesn't know much about what she's doing because she's too young. I will never invalidate someone's desire regardless of age. Their feelings matter too.They ended up liking what they started doing it (in the movie)
MANNN. Her interpretation made me so aware of how I feel towards this song and how I relate to it. I mean, this is of course a story of how women feel, but as a g*y man, sometimes it feels like romance is NOT allowed for us, so you should take any kind of "affection" because that's how much you're gonna get. So you just give in. This just hit me harder than before.
Truly I thought I was the only person that felt that way! I feel like someone who values you emotionally connection is strongly frowned upon. You take what you can get :(
that’s what i thought too for gay men when listening to this
... how angry men weaponize their self-pity and abuse other people 😒
I’m a girl that’s has grown up experiencing so much rejection from others, even from my dad. That it hit me so hard because in this point of my life I’m really considering just give in and have anything near as affection with anyone that I don’t care if they use me
It’s so interesting that people who are romantically involved with men universally end up feeling this way, even if they are men
You interpreted this song so much deeper than I've thought of when I was listening to it, I teared up when you were sharing your story as I relate to it. This is an amazing review, thank you! I hope you do more Lana's songs.
You are SO welcome! More to come 🤍
Yes! I have been listening to this song for months now but this video actually made me realise what lana meant.
The line about no one believing her that she didn't want it is so gut wrenching. I've always admired that Lana owns her sensuality and knows she's beautiful, she always made me feel like it was okay. But to hear her call out that no matter what she says everyone will assume she wanted it all based on her looks and her confidence? Devastating.
It's Lana's voice that does it. Her voice is one of a kind. You can hear and feel the emotion and pain in her voice as she sings. It's an incredible talent that very few singers actually have.
Thank you so much. As a survivor myself, the second half of the song is completely warped. Makes me feel how I felt when I was coping with my trauma with drugs and alcohol. Your reaction is spot on.
Thank you for sharing this and the second part really gives that chaotic with substance use vibe which can be the few things to drown out trauma. It isn’t the way to handle trauma but I don’t judge anyone that hasn’t been there. It’s so hard to cope for so many reasons. Sending you 🤍
Absolutely xx
Thank you for sharing ! Makes me understand the song more!! Lana makes such complex and hauntingly beautiful songs
Her songs are deep and meaningful and her voice is so unique!
Agreed!
I like how your knowledge as a therapist also informs your perspective in the meaning behind the poetry in the song! Killer insights
Thank you and thank you for watching!!
"it's not about someone to love me anymore" hits right in the spot for me.
Last night I hooked up with a guy I'm acquaintance with around 2AM. He had fun , he came 3 times. What did I do? I didn't get off, I didn't want to. I was distracted the whole time and only tried to make him feel good, gave in. Heck I wasn't even horny.
If he knew I was sitting in the bathroom for hours with a blade to slit my wrists just few hours ago.......sex isn't to feel good or feel loved. It's just a way to harm myself farther. My head still hurts and I feel as broken as always.
"If I told you that I was raped
Do you really think that anybody would think
I didn't ask for it? I didn't ask for it
I won't testify, I already fucked up my story"
I regularly engage myself in various risky sexual things. I'm open about my sexuality. A whore. Will people even believe that a "promiscuous" woman can be assaulted? My clothes, flirting, how I look .... Those are at fault. I feel like I've ruined my chance of being believed by being a whore. I was raped a few too many times. As a child with age still in the single digits, by a stranger,by family members, by one boyfriend I ever had.... I don't even count getting groped as SA for me anymore. I've accepted that I can't testify.
Anyways, in short , I resonated with this song a lot. My interpretations are different because that's how I resonate.
This comment just gutted me. Age in the single digits makes me want to hurt someone for you. You are speaking the truth. It doesn’t matter what you have done any way sexually, you are a special being that deserves to give consent. Your body is yours alone. I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t help but I am.
We are here for you whatever you decide to do or or not do. The most important thing is your healing.
Sending love xx
It hurts so much to hear, but I understand it(
I did it to myself so many times and I didn’t understand why I was doing it, I fucked in the back seat with people I barely knew who I didn’t like at all, I went to the apartment of the first person I met, I sucked one guy on a long-distance bus, and tinder and became my arena
At the very beginning, I told some of them my story (I don’t know why), but they will listen to anything just waiting for you to finish and it will be possible to fuck you, they are glad to meet such a girl who is ready for anything and never think about how is she, they like to think that you are just having fun and love sex, even if you never cum and almost never enjoy
I tried to use sex as a universal panacea to feel cool and in demand, drown out loneliness and create the illusion of closeness, but the process itself did not bring me anything positive, I learned not to feel (almost) anything, because I'm used to that they don’t hear my “no”, I’m used to being yelled at and humiliated by my father, I’m used to my mother not against it when some man wants to fuck me, I was 16 when people more than twice my age involved me in incest orgies , and although now it seems that it could have been refused, I was just embarrassed and ashamed to refuse then, they definitely persuaded me to do this, but it still seems to me that I did it and it was my own fault
Happy I found someone that can really understand what Lana meant . It takes a lot of courage to get out of your mind and try to understand people without placing judgment . As a survivor of sexual abuse this song makes me feels so understood and it’s kind of comforting. on the second part of the song, when the beat changes and she starts phrasing with a different rhythm, it sounds a lot like she’s crying. Well it sounds a lot like when I cry after having nightmares of people running in a chase after me. Is despair and tireness. I wish I had a therapist like you. I haven’t been able to find someone that can really help.
I confused but hope you are doing well
i’ve never seen someone have such a clear understanding of song lyrics like even i can barely understand certain things lana sings about unless i rlly sit and listen to the lyrics themselves she’s just listening to the song and immediately understanding what’s going on..that’s a talent fr
Wow, thank you! I feel like I’ve found my calling :)
this was such an incredible and well-worded review of the song, i need every lana fan to watch. it’s so easy for me to listen to only the production of a song but this really spelled it out for me. especially the cartwheel line, i’d registered the loss of innocence before but had never thought about how it could be exposing to flip. the detail!! the song really is the depression of wanting out and then the mania of just saying “fuck it” and giving in. such an important song.
It is so important. Thank you for the kind words and I’ll be doing more Lana soon 🤍
More Lana, please.
Will do!!!
yes plsss
Not sure if it's good or bad I can relate to LanaDelRey so much but I love her no matter what. ❤Such an amazing song.
@@mendwithmere thanks for what you do! please consider lana del rey’s blue banisters & chemtrails albums 💚🌊
@@mendwithmere please do the grants
oh my god you hit it right home with the "looking like a sidepiece at 33" part. back in 2019 she was in a relationship with a guy who she believed she could finally settle down with and have a family, but she found out he was already engaged to someone else and had been hiding it from her the whole time. loved this video!
Thank you, I didn't know that and now see things way deeper, thank you!
thank you for the love and watching!
Omg who was the guy who was already engaged?
Imagine hiding Lana Del Rey. I mean, you shouldn’t hide anyone it’s a terrible thing to do, but what the absolute fuck
Was it the guy from live pd??
As a fellow therapist and HUGE Lana fan, I loved hearing your take on this song. Lana’s music is super emotional, absolutely beautiful, but also haunting. This has quickly become one of my favorite Lana songs, and I’m so thankful for you sharing your insights!
It's so good to finally see a mental health professional analyse Lana's lyrics, and shed light on how she weaves in dark stories from her life. The public and music critics never acknowledge the sheer amount of trauma Lana has been through. Instead, they judge her on her public persona alone. People often forget that artists are only human, and being rich and famous does not mean they are immune to mistreatment and life's hardships. Writing music is their way of processing their feelings, and sharing that music is an act of incredible vulnerability.
Lana references a film in the line “Watching Teenage Diary of a Girl wondering what went wrong”Teenage Diary of a Girl is a dark coming of age film where the 15 year old protagonist naively tries to seduce her mothers boyfriend and he takes advantage of her repeatedly. It’s well acted and well written but graphic and disturbing. It’s worth a watch if you can stomach those themes. The film by no means glorifies what happens to the girl but rather serves as a commentary on girlhood, the trials of growing up too fast, and loss of innocence
Every Lana album tells a story. You need to listen to all of her discography.
I def will!
I absolutely adore this woman for opening up and sharing he own personal story to help us understand.
Also on the part where she says “I already fucked up my story” I think it speaks on the fact that she was sexually active so since that was known she felt that her validity on saying she was taken advantage of would be tossed because people would uphold and highlight her history. So there would always be a blurred line between her consensual relationships and crimes of her being taken advantage of/non consensual
It shouldn't matter though if someone has a history of being promiscuous they should still be taken seriously
That was an intense reaction. I'm a newbie to Lana's world, so still haven't listened to a lot of her music or know her story that well. She's deep. A true poet. The guy Lana is referring to is most likely a TV cop she was dating who, unbeknownst to her, was engaged at the time he and Lana were together. It sounds like Lana thought he was 'the one' and was understandably crushed to learn she was a "side piece". To promote DYKTTATUOB, Lana put up one and only billboard in, of all places, Tulsa, OK (the guy's hometown); she simply said, "It's personal"... I find it curious that you loved Born To Die but haven't listened to Lana since then. Anyway, I'm glad I stumbled upon your channel. Looking forward to more Lana reactions. Be well🥰
Thank you for sharing this and I’m glad she’s putting little Easter eggs out there. That’s horrible about learning he was engaged. What a POS. I haven’t listen to more Lana bc I’ve been going through stuff and I swear she makes me feel too much bc it hits so close to home. I’m gonna keep doing the reactions to her! 🤍
@@mendwithmere Hits too close to home. I hear you🥰. From what I can tell, Lana seems genuinely kind, gracious, and generous to almost everyone--especially to her fans. There's a great Tik Tok comparing and contrasting how Lana Interacts with her fans (hugs, kisses) vs. Adam Levine (another POS) et al. (pushes, punches). A fun thing she does is reference other songs in a lot of her own songs: In Part 2 of "A&W", she sings "Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko Bop" (a 1959 song by Little Anthony and the Imperials) before it morphs into "Jimmy, Jimmy Coco Puff". She also has a LOT of unreleased material of studio quality (Some people speculate that Lana herself is the leaker..). I still haven't listened to Ultraviolence, but have two unreleased gems from that era ("Yes To Heaven" and "Dragonslayer") on my Spotify playlist. There's a lot for you to react to!😊 (I see you react to Taylor, as well.). I just subscribed. Looking forward to being on this Lana journey😊
Thank you for mentioning the goddess Fiona Apple. She definitely needs more credit.
I'm so excited you have started your Lana series. 🙌🏾
I LOVE Fiona. I’ve been a fan since the start when I was in middle school thinking I related to “sleep to dream”
Her writing is incredible - and she was so young when Tidal was written.
this video kinda broke me. i had to pause several times to just think and cry. you phrased what she was singing about so beautifully and logically and that made me think about my own messed up experiences as a woman especially with older men and society. i've been a huge fan of lana's music since 2012 and i've heard this song so many times but didn't really open it up like you did, thank you. also, can you be my therapist? 🥺
i feel this. and yea is she taking clients?? lol
Ok, I've always liked Lana, but when I first heard this song I became a fanatic. This song actually scared me; it was like hearing a truth i wasn't ready to hear.
Lana never knew the path she would have to walk when she first put out Born to Die / Paradise. she really did build up not just a person of a daddy lover but also a woman child that can be kept and owned. even tho she did become more empowered in the Lust for Life era, she was already well down the path in her personal life as well. Norman F Rockwell was catastrophic, because it captured the latest relationship with a somewhat involved man that eventually left her to marry someone else. she let herself be used as part of the persona, but it had real world consequences as we are now seeing in A&W. and for such a family oriented person, the breakdown of her relationship with her mother is a major call for help.
absolutely, thank you for sharing
This is so insightful. I love it. You’re a real one.
You couldn't be more wrong. But seems like you already set up a narrative about her.
Woooow
@@rumelakar624 ok, then what’s your take
I had a breast reduction at 18.. the way boys and men treated me frightened me. I was hyper sexualized since I was a child so I got the reduction and felt immensely comforted. Because men were constantly trying to kidnap me, chased me, raped at 14, etc. I find most mens thinking is repulsive and they are unable to look at women as autonomous human beings. They are so perverted in their thinking. The reduction allowed me to heal and to not be such a problem for men to leave me alone. I’m obsessed with Lana because her haunting lyrics are so honest and relatable.
Yesss you analyzed this one pretty perfectly, even the second part which most people don’t point out that she’s playing into that role and unironically sounds a lot like her born to die album.
It totally gave me that vibe too. Thank you for the love
If you don't know anything about music, don't comment@@mendwithmere
Jack Antonoff, the producer of this song, calls Lana “Jimmy” as a nickname, so part of me feels like the second part of the song is her falling into the narrative people created for her and her spiraling. Jack’s great at producing instrumentals that reflect their lyrics (Hard Feelings by Lorde is a great example) so I feel that’s the narrative the second half of the song was trying to shape
I love what she represents,boldness and freedom in being a woman and to hear a song like this from her...:(
it's so sad
Now that’s good content- reaction videos with in depth psychological analysis of music. I feel that there’s a lot to this subject that most people seem to overlook- lots of things being sung in a more abstract, unconscious aspect that’s fascinating and devastating. specially in what Lana does. That’s how you know she’s a real artist
Also a fun fact - a lot of this album was written based on Jung’s active imagination, also through automatic singing, so yeah she’s definitely saying a lot.
@@davilynch8611 ooooo loving this
she's a genius
This is a great and fitting analysis. This song also hit me quite hard, it's the way she casually describes everything which accurately mirrors such an experience within a societal context. No one cares what you went through, just move on. Not everyone's like that but many people don't even want to deal with the shadow side of life at all. And they look at you weird when you do.
Exactly!
Perfekt beschrieben 👍🏼
Daniela Mondstein,
I so deeply relate to, specifically, that last sentiment.
That others are quite capable of feeling disturbed by, even offended by, •your• traumatic experience, often, •in spite of• the fact that you didn't even force them to know about it.
Frequently, it is their own idle search for something novel and potentially titillating and/or morbid that brought them into contact with your story in the first place. Then, regardless of whether you freely or reluctantly shared it, •you• are held to account for 'forcing' them to think or feel more deeply than they would have liked, about subjects •they• judge to be too 'intense', too heavy, or too dark.
I have lost count of the number of times (especially when I was much younger), where I was literally 'accused' of subjecting people to the horrors of my answers to their incessant and seemingly inescapable questions.
I was frequently told that I had become the cause of nightmares in whole households of mainly women and girls, who just couldn't seem to shut up about me.
Like I was the original campfire story or urban legend or the consequence of a frightening cautionary tale, instead of being my own mystified self, instead of just being another parents' child.
I think sometimes people forget you are a person who is in the middle of living a life, not an anecdote or a joke or a juicy piece of gossip.
And if you have enough experiences like that, it can make you very much more aware of your shadow self.
And if you are in touch with your own darkness, sometimes you will be treated like you're virulent, a contagion, a vector, or a seed-cell of harmful elements that contaminate innocence, when more often than not, it was •your innocence• that was corrupted and it was done so against your will.
Exactly!!!
I was raped at 17 and my boyfriend died (he comite sui-ide)5 months later, I had to learn to live with those two things, I didn't testify either because I'm a trans girl so it would be worse i think, because most of us work in prostitution so they would say: "you asked for it" "was it your client?" Or at least I thought so. Now i have 19 and i'm very, very happy, in this 2 years i learn a lot of things and yeah... Excellent video, I love you.
She really understands the message lana was trying to send and depicted the lyrics so well
“Your mom called, I told her youre f’ing up big time” I think this song is about many instances that she was taken advantage of. Like a “life flashed before my eyes” type of moment because the “American Whore” character she created as a cope mechanism… she’s killing it and confronting the reality of it all. So with that lyric, this person who was taking advantage of her was turning everyone she loved and who loved her (family) against her by telling them all the negative things she was doing during the spiral of her coming to this current point of ending the American whore persona. They wanted to make her dependent on them for love although they made her feel like a side piece until they wanted s*x
This song is an absolute masterpiece. The correlation between the title A&W being an old Americana brand (which Lana is image as an artist is heavily influenced by) and the rebranding of the acronym in this song to American Whore and how A&W is also a drive through restaurant and Lana using that as a way to describe men walking all over her sexually. Not only this but the first half of the song is very sad and traumatized and then if almost as if during the instrumental the song starts to change as a reference to Lana’s behavior changing from sad to rebellious and then it goes onto again another famous old Americana song that is rebranded to tell a darker deeper meaning while keeping the rebellious attitude. Lana is such a genius song writer
Love your videos Mere!! I also think Lana is referencing her recent weight gain when she says “the shape of my body” (I mean, she looks perfect and amazing but is no longer Hollywoods standard of “thin”), and feeling that she wouldn’t be believed about sexual assault is due to the unbelievable amount of criticism she’s gotten over the years. She has been labeled as “anti-feminist”, which is insane to me!
Whaaaaat? I swear people talk shit just to be talking shit. I didn’t know about this but going to look more into it. Thank you for watching the videos! Means so much
okay but if she is referring to this song about her weight and referring to being 33 this can only mean 2 things bc she is about to be 38 in June. She has either written this song now referring to being 33 or she wrote it and is just now publishing it and either way she wasn't overweight at 33
i was curious about that too
I definitely get the feel that her comment about being a sidepiece at 33 is only referencingher age. It often seems that when men cheat on their significant other, that they do it with younger women. And by society's standards age 33 isn't "young" enough.
well, she herself said "Feminism is just not an interesting concept." Granted that quote is from 2014, but LDR herself rolled her eyes and scoffed at the notion of feminism.... I'm the hugest LDR fan, but it's disappointing to hear her express such anti-woman sentiments to say the least.
Truly one of her best songs of all time. Somehow this song feels like it IS Lana. It is probably my favorite song right now, so hauntingly beautiful.
this was a really great insight into the song and the meanings. I'm forwarding to my 12 year old daughter, she is going thru the utterly disgusting experience of dealing with middle school boys saying horrifying things and making incredibly inappropriate comments at school. it totally changed the way she dresses and how she expresses herself. it is heartbreaking to see.
Holy crap this was dark , but your breakdown was amazing and Lana has always affected me the same way. As much as I love her music I have to pick when I can mentally handle it. Thanks for being soo vulnerable it will help soo many people ❤️
can we talk about how the playful youth plays a big part of the narrative and then just the “your mom called” part pops up and makes me thinks about how we were all scared as a kid like if we did something bad what our mom would do or say like… she say’s she doesn’t care and it doesn’t really matter anymore more but “your mom called” and in the beginning she said “haven’t seen my mother in a long time” maybe to avoid shame or guilt!!!??!????!? GOD I LOVE LANA SO MUCH
yesssssssss
As a guy who experienced SA this song hits hard cause I was also affected by my puberty when men saw me differently, I was a bit curvy… I never expected that something like that would happen to a guy, but it does. People are disgusting.
💔
Also, you are the first therapist I have come across that seems to genuinely care about people, that’s my intuition anyway. I gave up on therapy a long time ago because I was so alienated by the process and the people that I knew didn’t really care. I partially understand why professional boundaries are a thing but at the core of most issues it’s the lack of anyone who genuinely cares or empathises with you that sets you on the wrong path in life. Much like this song so beautifully illustrates.
I’m so glad you could feel that. I do genuinely care and I’ve also given up on therapy a time or two 😂 bc of similar feelings
I agree with you, she seems to be someone who cares
Yes, Fiona Apple! She writes from the crushed up bits of the soul, the temper, and the heart. She does it so, eloquently- in lyrics and delivery. Please cover Fiona Apple. I agree that this song is in the same ‘category’ (for lack of a better word 😕)
it's coming :)
When I first listened to a&w I cried I don’t know as a single woman in her 20’s who’s dealt with being SA’d, undervalued by men, and being someone with boobs just existing in the world being sexualized for existing, the lyrics spoke to me. It’s one of my most played songs of 2023, I can listen to it without crying now but wow lana truly blew my mind. I love her so much!
Tell me why i've listened to this song A LOT, knowing the meaning. BUT watching your reactions and references to it just made me cry and truly get into the mentality of this song and the art that Lana made here.
I am watching Daisy Jones, and the six, and one of the bandmembers is complaining about Daisy’s legs and how they’re distracting and daisy looks at him and says” you know it’s not my job not turn you on right” and I’ve never felt a line more!
Hell yes!!!
Isn't this all of us?? I made my husband listen to this song as a way to describe the experience of growing up as a girl.
Hey! Didn't expect to see your comment here too, fellow INFJ ^_^ I was thinking the same thing, I wanted to send this video to my ISTP boyfriend because this song can also describe the experiences of most teenage girls growing up. Sigh. I feel bad for Lana and hope she gets the help and healing she deserves.
@@blancheb3533 Oh my gosh!! I've been thinking about you! Haha! We hang around the same parts of the internet, I bet! If you do send it to him, let me know what he thinks (if that's not too invasive). I'm so glad to "see" you again!
I think it is all of us. Lana is telling our story, the young girls we were, how these things shaped us growing up. I love her for ir❤
I couldn't have said it better myself! Lana Del Rey's voice is truly angelic. She has this ethereal quality to her vocals that just transports you to another world. It's no wonder why her music resonates with so many people. Her voice is like a soothing melody that touches the soul. 🎶✨
Lana del rey writes her life story in many of her songs and it cuts deeper and harder because it did that to her. Don't forget for a bunch of years all Media and the music industry brutally criticized her in every single possible way. She just now is coming into being in a happier place.
i think the zipper sound in the second half of the song is very interesting, especially considering the whole theme of the song and how the zipper can be associated with that whole theme
The zipper sound? I didn't pick up on that, intersting.
The way she barely enunciates the word rape too, she doesn’t feel like she’s allowed to say the word or call it assault because she’s been promiscuous. I didn’t even hear it the first time I listened to it
i’ve never been more intrigued with a commentary video before, actually my first time hearing this song in full.. and i’m crying. thank you for interpreting this song the way you did, i would have not known the full meaning
Thank you so much for the analysis. This song explores some really triggering and uncomfortable topics so I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Lana’s music always has a way of making you get in your feelings which is amazing but can be really heavy at times. New sub 💖
Thank you so much for subscribing!! More Lana to come. I’ve been hesitant bc image does evoke so much!
My cousins as young kids had to testify in court against their father over things that were done to them and I feel terrible every time I think about it. It was put with names in their city newspaper and they had to move because of everyone knowing what happened and talking about it and making fun of it. People are so mean and they don't understand how bad words hurt other people.
that is absolutely awful. I hope they have gotten some healing.
My god, I hope they have all the support they need and that whoever did that get their asses sued.
I just watched this video and your video on Did You Know... and I'm so floored at how you actually hear the emotion behind the words and composition of her songs upon first listen, it really shows how both empathetic and knowledgable you must be as a therapist! I think everything you said about this song is so spot on and important for people to consider. Best regards from a new subscriber.
thank you for subscribing and these kind words!
As soon as I heard this song, I was hooked (it seems to be about me)
The second part is just a consequence of that experience of sexualized abuse at an early age that is mentioned in the first, you use sex as a cure for everything, but only hurt yourself more and more with it
WOW, I have listened to this song a bunch of times but you make these songs so much sadder than they already are by breaking them down like this. devastating! but she is an amazing lyricist and so relatable to Women everywhere.
I have goosebumps!!! Because of the song and because of your unraveling of the lyrics.
I love your reactions! You give such amazing perspectives❤
I'm from Brazil and I ended up meeting you through Lana, your interpretation is amazing, please if you can analyze her wildflower wildfire, it talks a lot about her relationship problem with her mother, you are an amazing woman ❤
Brazil! Yes, I will def analyze
Me neither
I had a therapist who, when I opened up about being assaulted in college, 1) told me it didnt count as SA because it wasnt r*pe. 2) said i shouldve expected a college boy to do that and i was being naive, and 3) told me it was too late to press charges and it would never hold up in court (i never said i wanted to press charges. Never even implied it. I literally had just told her what happened.)
I sat there sobbing, being retraumatized, as she said all these things to me. At the end of the session she said, "do you want to make another appointment or are you done?" I made the appointment because i always resort to a fawning trauma repsonse. Then i called the office later to cancel and never went back. It took me like 3 years after that to finally have the courage to see any therapist again.
My brother (who's an addiction counselor) wanted me to report her. But it was the same thing for me as reporting an SA. It would've just put me through hell and would most likely amount to nothing. I dont even remember her name now.
(In that same session i was telling her i just found out i was pregnant and was terrified because i almost died having my first. She told me i shouldve closed my legs).
This is the reality women live in the US. Mine is not an isolated incident. Literally trained therapists arent even guarenteed safe people.
Thank you Mere for the emotional labor you give to us, who arent even your patients.
Love the reaction! Hope to see more Lana soon. FYI, cocoa puff is a slang term for a cocaine laced cigarette.
Oh really? Thanks for letting me know and watching!
I used to love those coco puffs
This song legit had me sobbing when I was reading the lyrics while listening to it
As a Lana fan and a first time watcher of your video, it was magical how you got what she wanted to say in the first line. You're a fan, I can tell. Thank you so much for this insightful video. I hope those who are doubters of Lana - or at the very least, those who don't get her - get to see your videos. Thank you!
that's EXACTLY what i thought when i heard the song for the first time. the way she talks about the loss of her innocence and not feeling valued or respected because of her appearance is something that i related to for a long time in my life when i was younger, and i could feel what she was trying to transmit during every second of the song... this has to be one of my favorite lana's songs because i have the feeling that it's telling everything i couldn't tell when i had the chance.
I am a huge lana fan and love her so much.
This song made so much more sense and is more important for me because i have a one year old daughter.
She is an infant and people have already been telling me to cover her up, not to have her diaper free ever, trying to make her nose thinner and eyebrows better.
I got so triggered that i fought to hell with all of them and cut ties.
I am trying really hard to raise my daughter so she doesn't go through what i and my mom went through. I hope i succeed.
Thank you so much for this video. Your words mean a lot to me ❤
I love your take on this !! It’s shown me other parts that I didn’t realize when I heard this song but a part that really stuck out to me is when she mentions her broken relationship with her mother and how that could’ve led her to unhealthy coping mechanisms like seeking that love and validation from men and then immediately feeling immense guilt and pain from it
I loved your analysis and thank you for being so vulnerable about your experiences! I hope it didn't hurt too much. Take care of yourself! ❤
This song broke me. I relate so much
you're really on point interpreting this song
So relieved that I am
Thank you for talking about important things like these
You are welcome. I could have gone deeper in how much I relate to the song but I’m easing into sharing. Thank you for the love 🤍
This is the best reaction I've seen, you got everything she was communicating. She's so incredible as a writter you need to do more of her song ! It would be amazing 🤩 Greetings from Argentina
I'm really glad you didn't skip over the part about rape - a lot of reviews of this album have used euphemisms etc and kinda been too scared to address it I guess? I'm a guy so I don't know what it's like to be objectified in the same way as women are. But I love Lana and these lyrics are so frank they feel like a punch in the face. I think it's her best record yet (and I really didn't think it was humanly possible to top NFR! tbh) - thank you for this x
this is the first video of yours i found and i’m sold, please PLEASE do more lana reactions, especially from the new album 😭🖤 this is such a beautiful album and quite possibly her most personal to date so i’d love to hear more insight from you.
thank you so much and yes, i'lll be doing more :)
Your analysis is truly amazing. This song is such a mind twist and you nailed it from the beginning. Have always loved your videos, but this one blew me away. Kudos!
thank you!
I am so glad I came across this… the first time I listened to the song it actually triggered me a little I cried (I’m a csa warrior) and immediately related to the first couple lines. I also feel like jimmy maybe uses lana to get high (using her physically and emotionally it seems) but I also feel like she encapsulated the entire culture of girlhood and womanhood in the American culture and society. To me the end of the song sounds like she realized what he was doing, hence she told his mom he’s fucking up big time 😂 love that lyric lolll It’s like a giant cultural critique on rape culture while also being such a personal story. I think there’s so much to relate to and I’m so glad to see someone talking about the deeper meanings behind her poetry like this 🤌✨ she will forever make art of her life
she's amazing. thank you so much for sharing and I'm sending you love
Im so very sorry you had to go through that at 12 or even at all. I’m sorry. Your story really got to me and I just hope you’re much better in life now. I mean I don’t know you personally, so I just hope you’re okay physically and mentally.
Again, I’m sorry you had to go through that. :/
thank you for such kind words. I am doing really well now so please don't worry about me. I feel lucky because many women go through much worse but pain is relative and it helps that you wrote this to me. Thank you.
You do such an amazing job breaking down these songs. I’ve already listened to them dozens of times and haven’t understood some of the lyrics until you explained them lol.
Thank you for sharing your story mere, it helps me feel like I’m not alone. And for doing an amazing job at breaking down Lana’s music!❤️☮️
Ever since I fist heard this song I felt like I could relate to it, but I had no idea why. Listing to you explain your thoughts about the song makes me realize it's because this is how I think about myself and my life, and I know others probably feel the same way.
This song tore me up……Big time. I developed around the same time too. It was awful and humiliating and gave me a complex that still haunts me today. I died my blond hair black in high school to try not to look so “sexy”.
Kim! I feel you!!
This hit me hard.
I testified at 21 for what happened to me when I was 20. I wasn’t the “perfect victim” and he was found not guilty. My world shattered more than it already had by then. I didn’t sound like the innocent, childlike, sweet, young woman that people expect to see after being assaulted. I was angry, I was bitter, I was a hurricane. And it wasn’t the “right” way to testify in front of a jury.
so much of ldr’s tracks resonates with my entire life since 2012 as i’m sure it does many of her listeners. this was very interesting to listen to, tyfs 💚
yess!! always yes to more Lana and Fiona
Yes yes!!
this was an amazing interpretation and it brought tears to my eyes multiple times. Reading the comments, it breaks my heart how many of us relate to this song :(
Thank you for this great analysis. It made me appreciate this track even more than I already did. It's so personal and vulnerable
This is superb. First time encountering a therapist like decoding Lana's piece. I really want to understand her for the longest time. Thanks for the help!✨
I love Lana.. her songs are so poetic and beautiful. I relate to them on a level that not many people understand.
I'm 40 and I did a cartwheel the other day.
Good woman
really really loved your interpretation of the second half, i was in tears for most of this review cause of how much you were putting into words exactly how i felt😭
thank you!