Therapist Reacts To: Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it by LDR
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ค. 2023
- You voted and here you go! Wow, very VERY complex. I'm still thinking about this song constantly. Can't wait to hear all your thoughts!!!
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![Lana Del Rey - Hope Is a Dangerous Thing [Live at the Hollywood Bowl - October 10th, 2019]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QmL13LSlG5Q/mqdefault.jpg)
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My favorite lyric in this song is “don’t ask if I’m happy, you know that I’m not but at best I can say I’m not sad” and that’s how I feel a lot of the time
When Lana says "I'm not" it is a clear allusion to Sylvia Plath: "I am me, I am myself..." relating her depression with Sylvia's, but saying the opposite of the phrase: "I am not me " parting with the writer's tragic story because Lana is a woman who still has hope.
absolutely! she does this in wildflower wildfire too - she says "i turn, but i learn" instead of "i turn and burn" (a quote from lady lazarus)
During listing her new album I though when she sings "black narcissist" and in the next verse "she couldn't care less" she talks about her mother.
Same.
I totally see that
I'm so glad someone else has said this as I've thought these lines refer to her mother for a good while now. Even more so as the last lines in the verse that precede it are about missing her dad.
Yes. I grew up with a narcissistic mother figure and I definitely have strong associations with being plagued and chastised for not being “female” enough, for not being as good of a woman as her, having a weak constitution etc. i don’t know if this is by any means typical of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship, but I relate extremely hard to this song for that reason. I also think abusing alcohol can be a way to detach from these demands, so addiction kinda goes hand in hand with it.
She is talking about Azalea Banks and the feud she had with her, Azalea acuse Lana of being racist because Lana call out kanye West for supporting Trump when he was running for presidency.
So happy you decided to react to this. NFR lived on my car stereo for a good solid year. Still can't believe Lana didn't win the Grammy for album of the year
It is so good. I don’t get the Grammys sometimes
She was robbed. NFR! is one of the best albums of all time. It was on repeat for me for over two years
if you listen to her older albums, lana sings about toxic men, toxic relationship, and self destruction with a sense of passivity and even romanticization (with lyrics like “He hit me and it felt like a kiss” and songs like Cola which is most likely about her past with Harvey Weinstein) People have deemed her a “bad feminist” and a bad example for women throughout her entire career (in a recent interview she talked about how someone literally threw a book about feminism at her when they saw her in public in the early ‘10s.) I think Lana feels some sort of guilt and shame for this and it really shows in this song. However, during an interview in the LFL era she cried about how she didn’t know what she wrote was wrong, she was just writing what she knew and that type of love is all she knew at the time. It’s sad really.
He hit me and developed like a kiss. You're probably right in that it's a metaphor for an abusive relationship, but it might not be so literal (might be🤷♀️). It's a song from the 60s by The Crystals
@@nissawilliams67 well in the same song she says “he hit me and it felt like true love” so it can be both
she has an unreleased song where she sings “he hits me because he loves me”
she never meant to seem anti feminist she was really just telling her story…
She was singing about what she knew
I think I remember when this song came out she said that there are so many meanings within the lyrics that no one but her knows about. Like you may never be able to decipher exactly what the words mean for her but they can mean something to you.
Love this approach. I’m still trying the unlearn my desire to always “get it right”
I love that because I respect her experience but I have my own personal ways to interpret this one so that's really cool.
I find that to be true with a lot of her music. I can't personally relate to the struggles with abusive men and drugs Lana has dealt with, yet I find personal meaning in them still somehow; it's strange but amazing that she manages to do that. I can relate to her having a bad relationship with a parent though, so the "calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, hi Dad" in this one gets to me a lot
Yep and she said the same thing years ago on a radio show with, I think, Annie Mac. She was talking about adding lyrics that mean something only to her. She talked about 13 Beaches and the lyric, "Underneath the pines." You can search those keywords and find it pretty easily. She said in Hope when she talks about saying, "Hi Dad" she really was just saying "Hi" to her Dad. Simple as that :-)
"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
-- Emily Dickinson
Lana saying “got this black narcissist off my back” has always been interpreted as depression to me. There’s a very popular video on TH-cam where the “black dog” weighing a man down is used as an analogy for depression. It also makes sense in the context as depression involves hopelessness however, Lana is saying she still has hope.
this is my absolute favorite song from lana. i even wrote a whole essay about it in high school. truly an amazing song. each time i listen, i take a different meaning to it.
I want to read it!!
i wanna read it too!!
please I need to read it!
In addition to cataloging her personal struggles, I think the lines “There's a new revolution, a loud evolution that I saw/Born of confusion and quiet collusion of which mostly I've known/A modern day woman with a weak constitution” (and the whole album NFR) denotes the cultural undercurrent of being an AMERICAN woman at this time. This came out during the reign of, arguably, a “goddamn man child” (opening lines of NFR). I think her choice of words such as “collusion” “revolution, loud evolution” “weak constitution” are VERY intentional. The double meaning of “weak constitution” not protecting the rights of modern day women is certainly adding to her malaise. And much of Sylvia Plath’s writing about alienation was in conversation with the expected role of her to be the perfect all-American 1950s housewife (she writes about “sticky pearls”; Lana references debutantes in pink dresses).
“Gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off” makes me think of A&W (there’s that American word again). Getting fucked up, lowering your inhibitions to lesson the pain, only to find that you’ve invited more abuse and trauma in (“monsters under my bed”), and as a woman it’s considered your fault. Good girls are diligent, chaste, would never show a crack in the facade. Basically it’s all set up to make it nearly impossible to thrive (DYKTATUOB) but despite that, maybe TO spite that, she has hope. Because for all the Americana fetishism she is accused of, she’s showing us that she has no illusions about what our country is, what it’s become, and an idyllic Rockwell painting over the mantelpiece it is not.
Great analysis, made me see these lyrics in a much more universal and political light which I didn’t notice before. Only the song The Greatest from NFR struck me as a heartbreaking eulogy for America and, in broader sense, the world, and for those reasons it was my favourite song on the album, but now I just want to listen to it again and look for these kinds of personal-becoming-universal metaphors in other songs, there’s so much to unpack in her lyrics 💜
I always felt like, "serving up God." , :Hello, it's the most famous woman" ...was referring to AA or NA.
After listening to Ocean Boulevard the, "black narcissist" line feels like it's about her mother.
I’ve been thinking about her mother with that line too!
What is AA or NA, what does it stands for? pls
@@thienhanguyen1194 Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, rehab programs for addicts
@@thienhanguyen1194 Alcoholics Anonymous & Narcotics Anonymous
back when this song came out (2019) it was alleged "black narcissist" was a dig at rapper azealia banks who she had public beef with in like 2017. so lana clarified that that's a metaphor for her shadow, her dark side basically, so mere's interpretation is on point! :)
This is the ultimate BPD song. I listen to this song every time I'm having a bad mental health day.
When I was 18 I was obsessed with Sylvia Plath. I read her poetry and The Bell Jar remains one of my favourite novels. Lana incapsulates her trauma in this song, recognizes the similarities in herself and yet emphasize that she is stronger and different - its relatable to me. This song will forever mean so much to me and what it means to be myself and be free.
Only just now watching this did I realize she changed the second the line “writing in blood on the walls cause the ink in my pen don’t look good in my notepad” to “writing in blood on your walls cause the ink in my pen don’t look good in my pad”. I think her changing “the walls” to “your walls” and “notepad” to “pad” is significant. She says before that second line, “gatekeeper carelessly tossing the keys on my nights off”. I think maybe this is referencing her finally getting the help she needs. She built up so many defenses but she’s reached a point where she’s ready to let others in and ask for help. Also pad could reference a home and pen could reference an enclosure. So maybe it’s a double entendre, saying her home feels like a prison. It reminds me of the Yellow Wallpaper. Writing on “your” walls is like a cry for help.
I loved this reaction of yours ❤ I always interprated "the black narcissist" as a destructive part of Lana's personality: the depression, the addictions, the suicidal thoughts and a "gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights of" as the nights when she feels week and those issues come back, because she's not guarding herself on those nights. I appreciate your input about Sylvia Plath, in many reactions to this song that I saw ppl were unfamiliar with her and did't cought the meaning while this is an important part for interprating this song.
Thank you for taking the time to analyze Lana's songs. So many reactors just skate past the surface level of the words without bothering to go deeper into them. You do a wonderful job!!!❤❤❤
Blood on the wall could be a reference to another poet who took his own life, but before on the same day wrote a poem ''Goodbye, my friend, goodbye'' in his blood from his veins because he was out of ink (Jesenjin)
the way everybody got scared when this was released, there was even a trend where everybody said we loved her because most people thought she was retiring
that's like every LDR album cycle lol. she has a song called Swan Song and she brought up "signing off" on "The greatest" as well
You’re right about ‘the black narcissist’. It is the dark version of herself.
that was my first instinct
yess, but i think lana should have been more careful with her words, if she had said "dark narcissist" this wouldn't been something brought up
@@gabrielbecker1911 Yes, but if you know Lana and her writing style she very often uses colors to represent and symbolize what she’s singing about. It’s right on par with how she’s always written her lyrics.
@@gabrielbecker1911so she should change her lyrics to stop people from jumping to the assumption that she’s racist? maybe people should think about it for longer than two seconds and research if they’re still confused, she cleared this up so long ago.
@@gabrielbecker1911 Poetry doesn't work that way
This is my FAVOURITE song by Lana, so happy to see you react to it!
it’s a really complex and beautiful one! Lana is such a talent
actually the black narcissist line is about a person, it’s about her mother and about how she used parties and drinks as an escape of her mother’s narcissistic abuse. i think “modern day woman with a weak constitution” relates to the idea of her post “question for the culture” which rubs ppl the wrong way bc she mentioned 3 black women among the 5 women she mentioned as an example but she was talking about how even if feminism is a good thing and a necessity for the society to become equal, the feminist community still treats fragility as a bad thing for women, like, radical feminism considers ultra femininity as some kind of weakness so i guess it’s just her saying the same thing as the question for the culture post, but now in a poetic way, it’s maybe her trying to say “i can be a feminist and also be a fragile, broken and rebuilt person, i wanna be included in this group of strong people, i can be strong even if i’m fragile”. i could be wrong tho, it’s just an interpretation
Hardly any blk woman was mentioned in question for the culture. It's mostly biracial women
i’m loving all these lana reactions! she has SO MUCH to show and there are so many great things and meanings on her lyrics that most people tend to overlook! she talks about past and personal experiences in her own language with her own codes and references and even if we don’t get everything we still feel involved and find a meaning for ourselves is magical
Im interpreting it as her seeing two sides of her self. The battle within herself. Good and bad. The dark triad!
i think that when she says that she writes with blood on the walls it could be a reference to the Manson Family and like, the madness hope gives you (if i don’t remember wrong, this feeling appearance in Shawshank Redemption too). So, basically, the madness having hope can give you, but she still has it❤️
This song was one of the first that I truly connected to her with…. As a recovering addict myself, it often feels like having hope IS a dangerous thing. I grew up with a pessimistic parent, and in my 30s I’ve just recently in the last couple years after 4 years of therapy and 8 years clean, I am seeing things so much differently. It’s okay to have dreams or goals or hope! I have been terrified of failure and terrified of success for a very long time. Stuck in one spot. Lost myself for a long time and now I’m becoming the woman that I always have been and didn’t realize it until the fog and blurred vision dissipated. 🖤
"Hope is a dangerous thing to have, but I have it. I HAVE IT"
So happy you’re reacting to this it’s one of my fave Lana songs
It’s so complex!
Thank you for doing these, I really appreciate your work ❤ greetings from Finland 🇫🇮!
Also: “she couldn’t care less and I never cared more” -I feel it’s either her mother OR alter of herself bc “monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off, A gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off” (the other her isn’t taking good care of her.)
But yeah that’s how I see it.
Simply a beautiful poem, she so deep, sweet and hard to listen to...
Yes, I agree
Your thoughts on the weak constitution lyric alluding to women's health issue made me think about Fingertips, when she says she may not be fit to carry a child...
"Maybe if I'd get less stressed if I was tested less like
All of these debutantes
Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts"
I have the sensation that's about sex and other traumas, sexual debut, idk, maybe she had some bad experiences being a young woman, and then you just have all the other debuts that are just worried with "smiling in pink dresses", but her head already knows that life is not about all of that, they have the easy fun while she struggles in her mind with a lot of things.
Lana has an unreleased song named "Driving in Cars with Boys" that has a happy tune but I think it also has sadness in it because of the lyrics. It has two lines that I just associated with "Hope [...]" because of your reaction. One is "They think I'm dangerous, they think I'm really bad, I'm just making up for what I never had, go out every night whenever I feel sad". The other one is "[...]drinking in the white noise [...], I spent my whole life wasted in bars with boys".
I like this reaction because you really made me understand the parts of the lyrics that hadn't made sense to me from this song, relating it to AA and with partying to get away from your dark side. I already loved the song for the phrases I did understand, but now I love it even more. I can relate with it because I've struggled with mental health issues, and it was in my darkest phases that I used to party the most, drink the most, and let's say "hang out" the most with boys. I was trying to fool myself into thinking I was happy. I still like having fun, but now I don't do it out of "making up for what I never had...whenever I feel sad", which also changes the whole experience of it, like, now it's actual fun, not covering up with a mask.
Thanks for another great video! I'm hitting the like button on each of your videos I've been watching :)
I feel like it's that desperation for love. When we don't get it from family, we confuse people wanting our bodies with love.
I click the like button before even watching the whole video just because I genuinely appreciate your efforts in deciphering Lana's songs, no matter which one. I'm a psychologist myself and the fact of how a song gives rise to multiple interpretations with so much content and references is something that I find fascinating, that's what makes her music art.
I think that this line with "gatekeeper" could be refering to the time when some crazy fans broke to her house years ago. One of them took her two cars ("dropping the keys") and another one stayed at her basement for a few days. This could be one of the monsters under her bed she couldn't fight off - she could be still scared for her life as she's famous. That's why she bought truck in the middle of the night. That's why she drives between few cities and stays at the hotels (one of the reasons I think).
I think LDR is expressing how it is to be like in the industry when you are an artist. You sell yourself, it is soul destroying, you are a brand but eventually you see who you need to be as an artist. Women and true artists go through this.
Love your insights about lana's songs! The line about the gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys... I thougt was comfermed (sry dont know how to spell it, not my firtst language) to be about the time someone broke into her house because the gatekeeper didnt close the gate and she said it was a very traumatic expience
I love your interpretations of this song! it always reminds me of 'Écriture féminine' and the notion that women write in white. exploring how a woman's actions are criticised and focused on rather than our words and opinions.
Rewatching every single one of your Lana reactions just to say that you are amazing and I love you
In her song heroin, she mentions writing on her walls in blood, so it could definitely be about addiction.
That’s a Manson reference I think, she mentions Manson in it and the Family wrote in blood on their victims walls
I recently discovered your videos and I truly enjoy them so much. Your perspective on things is so unique, it’s so soothing and calming to watch your content. Lots of love
My favorite Lana song💙
It’s so good
IM SO HAPPY YOU ARE REACTING TO NORMAN ROCKWELL!!! YOU MUSE SEE MARINERS APARTMENT COMPLEX AND CINNAMON GIRL
This song really reminds me of a feeling I have sometimes, a desire to be weak, to just stop fighting, to be an obedient housewife, not a feminist, not a fighter. Maybe gatekeep can be in relation to that? Instead of not wanting to conform it's wanting to conform, wanting to give up and be a 1950's stereotype and there's these gatekeeping on what being a modern woman is, and that's such a strong person who would never be tempted to give up her own autonomy just to be at peace for a while. For me, this song sounds like she's talking about this feeling of being a bad feminist. Even Sylvia Plath is a feminist icon from the 1950's, so, it just make sense to hear this song like this to me.
The moment I saw you posted for I clicked, this song I so incredibly close for me, when my mom left and I love you for reacting to this thank you so much 💖
there are so many beautiful interpretations here. to me it's about her relationship with life and death. not knowing how to deal with mental problems in a healthy way, she just shakes her ass to not get sucked in into that depressed state of mind.
i love your energy in this video, you seem so vibrant! also love the analysis, keep up the great work!!
I just love your reactions so much! The way your face changes when the lyrics get heavy/controversial.
Also another amazing analysis! I love how deep you go into every song you listen to.
Been watching a lot of your Lana reactions recently and i just love your perspective on them, it has made listening to these songs even more heartfelt! Wishing you so much good karma!
Love it! Your editing is so good as well and funny!
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG, thank you, Mere, so much for this video 💗
A lot of Fundy Christian schools are located in Church basements. I attended one. I always felt she was regerencing religious trauma there.
Amazing video, as per usual, with intuitive interpretations and wisdom. As an aside, I love your wallpaper. Your interior decor is superb, Mere. Love it, keep leaning into inspiration. Best, Beth 💕
This is my all time favorite Lana song! I'm so glad you reviewed it. ❤(Keep up the good work, you bring a smile onto my face every time I see you upload)
Lana is something else.💛🧡
wake up mere posted
Hahahah this cracks me up so much, I don’t know why 😂♥️
I really love your reactions and insights
wow i agree so much on the AA part because she says 'spilling my guts with the bowey bums' which bowery bums means disaffected alcholics so it would make sense
Omg I missed that but yes!
I believe you're correct of the "black narcissist" line. That is also a name of a movie so Lana being the poet that she is, I think she's making that reference.
Fun fact: this song was initially called "Sylvia Plath"
I wish she kept that title
6:43 - Im glad you pointed this out. Alcohol has played a huge part in lana’s life, even though she’s been sober for some time.
When it comes with music, you can hear her sing about it in NFR, Blue Banisters and Ocean Blvd with more depth
I can’t wait to listen to more of her works around this topic!
I just love this song ❤️ And i love your reactions!!!!
Pink dresses on white yachts is a reference from the bell jar
this is the first ever Lana song i heard. and i immediatly felt so touched.
I have hope for you! ❤ Great analysis.
YES BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONEEE
I loved this! 🥺❤️
my favorite lana song
Welcome!!
I see this song as a fuck you to depression because I can really relate when I'm smoking or drinking with people is the only way I can get the black narcissist (meaning depression) off of my back
I think the “black Narcissist” part she is talking about her mother. Is very well known that lana doesn’t have a good relationship with her mother.
THANK YOU for this T.T
TRIGGERING WARNER⚠️: In the A&W song, she mentions a phrase like, "watching a teenage girl's diary thinking about what went wrong", this film she mentions tells a story in which the underage protagonist has an affair with her MOTHER's boyfriend, but he hits on her and she seeks acceptance and love from him. As she so often cites her bad relationship with her mother, I can't help but associate the line "shaking my ass is the only thing that gets this black narcissist off my back" with her mother's boyfriend after her parents divorced, and " she couldn't care less and I couldn't care more" like her mother's lack of attitude, and it's a guess, but what if Lana's mother's boyfriend tried to hits on her and her mother even blamed the Lana for this, showing what a great narcissist her mother is and explaining her bad relationship with her daughter. This is not the first case where a narcissistic mother treats her daughter as competition and is jealous of her with her partners. And the "hope" she cites is to take her own life, because of the pain of living with an abuser and a mother who blames you for being abused
love this insightful analysis! you are an amazing human!! edit -- i've been really journalling and reflecting on this song. and this song give me full permission slip to give me hope that i always needed and always wanted - back to myself, me trusting my body, me reconnecting back to my body no matter what. breaking the intergenerational cycle of violence in my lineage (i grew up from a really narcisisisitic abusive, physically abusive and emotionally abusive upbringing) and its like recently i realised it's okay to say no non-violently, and it's okay to set non-violent boundaries with family, friends, allies, etc. and to remind myself when enough is enough is a daily homework for me hahha
just loved this
Slay with Mere tbh 😌💅⚔️
love this song!!! happy to see ur reaction !!!
So glad you enjoy them!!
OMG OKAY SO HER BEING OUT ON THE TOWN IN A WHITE NIGHTGOWN AND THE GATEKEEPER DROPPING KEYS..SHES LOCKED UP IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL AND NOW SHES LITERALLY GOING AROUND THE TOWN
I really love your videos!! I'm always happy when you post, especially reacting to lana❤❤
Awww so glad you love them!!
love your reactions
Thank you!
Her masterpiece❤
Love the new background
im so happy you did this one! just so you know theres loads of lana songs, there's heavier ones but theres also fun ones if you just want to vibe with us sometimes lol.
When she says "church basement romances" it's because she was in a sort of a cult amd she ended up being something with the leader
this has been my fav song of hers for like the past six months
im loving these lana vids 💗
I think the line “black narcissist” refers to “Black Narcissus” which was a 40s psychological film about nuns, celibacy and sex
My favourite song ever. Love your thoughts on it
I hope the next reaction is going to be "Wildflower wildfire"
NFR is a ride
I also think off to the races would be amazing as well as it was inspired by Lolita. And the ride music video from a therapists’s point of view would be freaking amazing. I’d love to see them. If you’re not too tired or anything. I can’t imagine being a single mom and then also having people ask you for these videos. lol Would gladly pay for a patreon to watch you!
Thank you. I love lana even more after this. ❤
I love you Mere!!!
so exciting for this one
♥️♥️♥️
I thought the “triad” was always referring to like the God, father, Holy Spirit- “serving up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad”. When she sings about “spilling my guts with the Bowery bums” maybe referred to some type of volunteer work she did before becoming famous, and she felt fulfilled in giving back this way due to her things she was facing- they helped her and she helped them. I remember reading an interview a looong time ago where she said if she wasn’t a singer she would be a social worker somewhere.
As an adult. I still think there’s monsters under my bed.
love this, could you do candy necklace next?
Wildflower Wildfire next!!
Please do whole album❤
eita que essa bate forte demais.
The black narcissist was a reference to her mother
Love the video as always, today you really really remind me of Florence welch :)