I understand that everyone grieves differently and I too have lost a baby but the way you have acted with such nonchalance and appeared more focused on making videos singing and doing your makeup in the hospital and making kissy faces is bizarre. Then you stand there in a body shot and make that face with the hand motion around your stomach? Either you are looking at this loss as relief and as a payday or you are severely sick and out of touch with reality. How could you be so vain after the loss of a baby? You need to sit in your grief and stop using it for video titles to get views.
@heyvanessamartin Your sick! The titles are these videos and the utter lack of any emotion is not normal... I think the her comment above was right.. you find this ad a relief. And that's ok bit say that so we can understand you better and not see you as heartless
You Understand nothing! Have you had a stillborn baby? Have you had a child die? Have you ever been in shock? Have you experienced sudden & unexpected death of a baby? Have a heart❤
She needs to grieve however she feels she needs to grieve. It might not be how YOU grieve...but that doesn't make it weird and I don't think the title of anything really matters...isn't it the content held within the bounds of the title? Like a book or a movie or a TH-cam vlog?
Vanessa would you please not put dead on your headlines as this is very triggering for some who have lost loved one who would love to watch your videos and support you. Can you use still birth or passed away. Im not telling you what to do but have watched all your videos and would love to support you still but it is very triggering and harsh to see dead on you posts. I am praying your doing ok and please take care of yourself ❤
THANK YOU!!! That’s what I’ve been trying to say and I’m getting ripped apart for it! It’s a horrible way to refer to any person’s passing, but especially a baby’s!
I agree. However, I question if this is where we may not know everything about her. It’s possible she is on the Autism spectrum and be a high functioning “Autistic “ as sometimes people with this diagnosis may seem very direct and shockingly cavalier. I maybe wrong but given so much of her content has been really wonderful but when it comes to emotional or socially sensitive topics she does not seem to understand the way her approach maybe viewed by the general public. I could be very much off base but I’m hoping it’s something like this vs just being cold and indifferent.
@@Julianasmom for anyone who is grieving themselves the titles are very harsh and id never want to hear my loved one is dead, passed on, passed away is much nicer as dead sounds like you hated the loved on who passed on and have no heart towards them. Its very triggering for me but i must not be the only one. Like i said i cant tell anyone what to do but just suggest they use a different way of saying their loved one passed away.
@@Melaine-u8eI’m autistic with lower support needs and we don’t sugarcoat things I will agree with that. I understand people being shocked by the title of the video and maybe because V is still in shock and struggling to navigate her new reality - her choice of words could be her way of trying to accept this by versing it as the reality it is. Her baby is dead and I can’t begin to imagine there is a correct way to behave, or process that as we are all unique. V is showing the rollercoaster of emotions this situation brings, and if she has a moment where she smiles or poses for the camera I don’t think we should deep it or judge. We don’t see all 24 hours of her day, this is just a segment. Women need to lift women up and not tear each other down. Her videos could help others experiencing similar.
Honestly I’m sorry for your loss but your titles are horrible. Capitalizing off the death of a baby is just wrong. Plus putting your toddler through your trauma is sad. Please stop
I’m not capitalizing off of my babies death. I’m a vlogger who has made videos for a little while now and my channel is monetized as a whole. I’m making the same amount as if it was any other video. You don’t see the numbers. I have always shared my real life regardless if it bothers people.
When children are involved in "vlogging" it is always an issue with child exploitation as they have no choice nor ability to give informed consent to be on camera. Children draw in easy views. With these titles, since the stillbirth (rest in peace sweetheart), and the way the vlogs are being marketed, it is absolutely capitalizing off of the loss of the baby. There's no two ways around it unfortunately.
@heyvanessamartin I'm not trying to come off as sounding judgemental. I'm just a realist and call things for what they are. In all honesty I have enjoyed watching you grow your channel and employ your techniques to help generate conversations, etc. I feel immeasurably sorry for your loss. To answer your question, whenever there is monetary gain involved, there is difference. I personally, do not share my young one on social media. I share in private messages with trusted friends and family (who are few and far between). Not telling anyone else what they should or should not do it's not my place. We're just out here having conversations...which will benefit your channel any way. In my heart it is my hope that you would consider looking into grief councelling. That would be a cool journey to follow. ❤
Sorry but I disagree, sharing her child here and there is just her vlogging her life... nothing wrong with that, she doesnt show every little thing of her... and some people benefit from grief counselling and some dont... some have other ways of releasing... I never went to grief councelling for the death of my father and still in denial and grief for 4 years now.. didn't get counselling because I have childhood trauma from them... so some people cope differently... at least she is releasing instead of bottling up which isnt good.... and I love that she is her real authentic self and doesnt hide the good and the ugly, she expresses her inner most emotions so others who are going through the same thing can relate and not feel alone.
You seriously need time to grieve and not in this way. Your ex is not going to come back. Ask your mum to stay. Penelope does not need to be included on YT; this will be around forever.
I share this with love. As someone who had deep emotional trauma as a young child (I found my mother dead in the bathtub when I was three and my dad was not home) and was left with a parent who didn't properly know how to handle the situation due to shock, grief and his own lifetime of difficulties and trauma, I strongly suggest grief councelling for you and little Penelope. They will help you and they will help you help Penelope. Please consider the following: Very young children shouldn’t be required to have empathy for their parents because their brains are still developing, and they lack the emotional and cognitive maturity to fully understand or take responsibility for others’ feelings. 1. Developmental Limitations: Young children are naturally egocentric. Their primary focus is on their own needs and experiences because they’re still learning how to navigate and understand the world. Empathy requires perspective-taking, which typically develops later in childhood. 2. Emotional Safety: Requiring a child to meet a parent’s emotional needs can place an undue burden on them, creating a dynamic where they feel responsible for the parent’s happiness. This can hinder their own emotional growth and lead to issues like guilt or anxiety. 3. Parent-Child Role: The parent-child relationship should focus on the parent providing support, guidance, and love to the child. Reversing this dynamic may lead to unhealthy relational patterns and neglect the child’s own developmental needs. 4. Empathy is Modeled, Not Demanded: Children learn empathy by observing and experiencing it from their caregivers. When parents model empathy, kindness, and understanding, children naturally begin to develop these traits over time. Allowing children the space to develop at their own pace ensures their emotional health and creates a foundation for genuine, healthy relationships in the future. Sending prayers. Despite grief Penelope still needs you, and this role, if reversed, will hinder her development. I know because I know. ❤
@heyvanessamartin I understand this perspective, but displaying such a deep level of grief in front of her and thereby pulling her through it with you is causing her to feel as though that is the right thing to do. I went through this as a child. Children think in very simple terms. They internalize absolutely everything. I mean no harm, no hate. A grief councellor will help you help Penelope. Despite the horrible thing you've had to face, and my heart truly hurts for you, Penelope needs to be kept protected and buffered from the trauma. A simple understanding is all a little one can digest. They cannot fathom such grief. I can only suggest grief councelling for you both. This sort of method of grieving with her is damaging her sense of emotional safety. ❤️
Penelope has such an advanced vocabulary! You've done a wonderful job teaching her. She's only 2 years old and can carry on a conversation with an adult. Wow!!❤Still praying for healing!🙏
Sorry for what happened. But please keep your daughter in mind. She doesn't need to perhaps suffer from nightmares because she is worried for you. Its also upsetting for your daughter! It will take a lot of time. Talking to someone may help you!
@@maayna baby is NOT responsible for comforting her. She is her baby’s mother. Imagine how confusing it is for a baby to watch her mom fall apart??? She needs to deal with her grief with adult support (therapy) and stop traumatizing her child. Period.
@shari102476 I am sorry but she isn't traumatizing the child, she is holding her at bed time and she cried because of the sweet prayer and what her daughter said along with the grief, is shenot allowed to cry in front of her daughter? Children sence when we are sad and naturally comfort us by saying "it's okay mommy, don't be sad". That doesn't traumatize the child... it shows how Penelope hasempathy for her mom, nothing will happen to her, if anything it will make her more loving and caring and learn to speak out about her sadness insteadof holding it in and know that if sheis sad, mommy is there to comfort her... you guys put too much bs in it.
Ughhh im trying so hard to be respectful and understanding but this is getting more and more awkward. I just don't know how I could bring myself to doing something like this. I've been through a lot of traumatic experiences in my life never a still birth but I have had ectopic pregnancies and other issues. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child I carried full term however I also can't imagine making money off my experiences let alone something like this. Obviously she's making money off of this and she knows it. As long as everyone is watching, engaging, she's getting rich off her dead baby. I can barely bring myself to say that don't know how she can title her videos like that.
That is if any of this is actually true. But she also talks about being a single mom and how hard it is when she intentionally had a baby with a dude that she knew wouldn't stick around. I don't know how much of all of this is true
I don’t think she should be crying & talking in front of Penelope this way. I’m sad for that little girl. I would not even think of Vlogging in the hospital or at home after delivering my baby still birth baby. I guess this is how she is grieving. It also blows my mind that she did not want to see her baby or hold her…it’s very sad I just don’t know how she is recording herself.
I want to say…. I don’t think the negative comments are to hurt you but rather strangers concerned for you, your well being, your mental health. We aren’t living your life but from the moments you post and share with us it doesn’t look like anything negative or traumatic has happened, maybe it’s denial, maybe you’re choosing to share the “normal” moments from your day, but we are not shown the real, raw, heartbreaking emotions that we (strangers) are feeling for YOU and this awful outcome. After all, many of us have been here for the past 9 months along side you. I know how badly I struggled with the baby blues after delivery and can’t even imagine what you’re going through with the hormone shift PLUS having a loss of a child. Big hugs to you Vanessa! ❤
This!!!! I commented on this video and got so much hate for it. My comment wasn't meant to be mean. I genuinely don't understand her and how's she's dealing with this in the way she is!!
@@ThatsCass when a mother loses a child saying anything negative at all is just plain wrong. did your mother not teach you if you got nothing nice to say dont say it. you dont kick others when they are down.
I feel for any mother who has lost a child no matter whether it breathed the breath of life or not...that being said.. just reading the title of this video made me feel nauseated, still I watched about the first 5 minutes if even that. I could not watch anymore.😔
@@heyvanessamartinI truly hope that isn’t the case. Your mom seems very involved in your life. Is she not concerned in your mental health from such a traumatic experience? I know when my brother in law took his life 🔫 to the head in front of my sister, niece (age 5) and nephews (age 3 & 1) I fought for many months for them to get in therapy even though my sister didn’t think she needed it. Over a year later she did go and her only regret today is she didn’t go to therapy sooner. I had my first therapy appointment last year at 38 from childhood trauma and wish so badly I could go back and have many more years of therapy detangling all the trauma. It’s your life and ultimately you make your own decisions. However I will say I once couldn’t see how therapy could be so beneficial until I used it myself. Best of luck to you and just don’t go too long keeping things bottled up because you never know when they’ll come out in the form of depression, anxiety and more.
@@melaniebatmanThere is grief and there is detachment. Grief doesn't look just like anything. There are different reactions to trauma and only one of them is grief. Grief is a healthy way to navigate trauma and it progresses through fairly distinct stages. Grief can be totally avoided and haunt a person for a life time. Detachment is the first stage of avoidant grief.
I thought you said you were 36 weeks and five days pregnant. When I started watching you. You said Penelope slept in the bedroom and you slept on the couch. Now you're saying you are sleeping on a mattress on the floor and it was difficult for you to get up. Someone sent you money to get a head board and frame? I'm saying this out😊 of kindness and very concerned. Honey you have got to get some grief counseling. I lost my son. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God and a good therapist. I know I don't know you personally. I'm extremely worried an about you. I'm sending major prayers and love your way..
When I first went to my prenatal apt that the Doctor first saw high blood pressure, I was 35 weeks and 5 days on that day. When there was no heart beat detected I was 36 weeks and 6 days. When I first moved into my apartment Penelope slept in her crib in the bedroom and I slept on my mattress in the living room. I’ve rearranged a few times. Now she has outgrown her crib for a few months now and cosleeps with me in the bedroom we now share. I am getting a grief counsellor. I have professionals, friends and family all supporting me. The only people worried about my mental health are strangers on TH-cam.
@@heyvanessamartinI am saying this kindly and with concern. I have watched silently for awhile. So I am not new to your channel There is good reason us TH-cam people are concerned. The titles, the blood drop, talking bluntly about dead baby in title really comes across crazy and insane ( I use these words in their true form not being mean. We are all seeing the same thing and clearly so many of us are feeling the same sort of way. So please just look at this from an outside perspective. Maybe you will be able to see what we are all seeing. Prayers to you
@@Colleen4376I don't know what you see as crazy and insane, I see authentic, real. She doesn't have to hide the fact of what it is... your looking too much into something and making up a conspiracy theory... maybe go watch other people that fit your narrative...noone asked you to watch her videos, you made that choice on your own free will honey.
@@Colleen4376 speak for yourself lady! You do not represent all the youtube viewers! Maybe you got the problem being so worried about someone you watch on TH-cam!
I am new to channel, I care , there are positive but the level of buying in her grief is concerning. I lost a baby but i never experienced that level of self care nor would I waht to. It is concerning her level of portraying herself after losing a baby. We have lost a level of privacy on social media. She really is very concerned with her looks after losing a baby. Something isnt right.
Everyone grieves differently, she is choosing to share to bring awareness to others going through the same... we need to normalize these things like grief,mental health, addiction because someones unfortunately heartbreaking experience could help another person going through it, it's making a community to help each other through the hardship of life. I dont see anything concerning about it.
Dude? If she wants to roller skate her way through Iceland dressed as Bluey and only communicating in barks to grieve? That is valid. People grieve differently. Incidentally, self-care should be a HUGE thing after something like this...whatever it looks like to that person (if it isn't illegal or actively harming somebody--and I don't think a little more debt is a big harm after what she's faced). I'm sorry for your loss and I hope however you have been grieving it has been helpful to you and brought you to a better place, but just because her reaction is to engage in behavior that perhaps you yourself didn't engage in during the aftermath of your loss does not mean something is wrong. She is facing this her own way and that's the only way ANYBODY can face anything--on their own terms. Maybe focusing on looks is a way of focusing on EXTERIOR life (the superficial and light--like skincare) rather than INTERIOR life (like sitting here and actively replaying every minute of the last couple weeks aloud to us and what one thing might have changed the whole outcome which people are prone to do when faced with a traumatic outcome to a situation like this) which is probably a LOT harder to deal with right now. When people aren't okay? They tend to fall back into old patterns that are comforting. Habits. Shopping is a thing for her. It's no different than comfort eating or anything else addictive. It gives a dopamine hit and I'm guessing her brain and body (still hormonally off at this stage) REALLY need that just to get through the day. She isn't stupid and she has recognized her own habits. I think, right now, worrying about whether you spent some money on jewelry from Amazon or something or bought a couple outfits seems pretty trivial in comparison to losing a baby. It must feel almost pointless and laughable to think about another $100 of debt weighed against the death of a child. Like...maybe consider you and she might grieve and handle things differently before making a comment like this.
I hope you don’t acknowledge or pay mind to negative comments , live your truth and don’t even acknowledge any negative comments , I hope things get better sorry for your loss 💗
@@christinelinder4954wtf?! Are you actually serious? How is praying an invasion of privacy? Most people pray together in Church in front of others, sometimes strangers... would you go and please tell them that their privacy is being invaded? I see many Church videos of people praying.... what the actual eff....
Please stop traumatizing your toddler. She doesn’t need to see you breakdown like that. I know you are suffering but don’t put this adult pain on your child. She has no idea what death is and doesn’t need to learn this way. I’ll be praying for you.😊
@ common sense tells a person to not have mental breakdowns in front of a child. Listen back to what you are saying to her. Do that in front of a therapist not a child. It’s unfair to put that weight on her.
mariaparker OMG IF HER DAUGHTER IS THERE, AND SHE IS CRYING WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO DO. IT SHOWS HER DAUGHTER AT A YOUNG AGE TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS. WHAT SHE IS SUPPOSE TO DO RUN, AND HIDE WITH HER DAUGHTER RIGHT THERE! I DISAGREE WITH YOU, AND YOUR NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! SO SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE FAKE BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER IS THERE, OR REAL! HER DAUGHTER IS VERY SMART, AND UNDERTANDS A LOT FOR HER AGE.
This is an incredibly tough situation to be in. We all grieve differently. The problem is, you could have demonitized this, use a less sensational thumbnail and posted trigger warnings. You didn't. And that can put off a lot of people. I wish we live in a world where we all agree on every thing. But we do not. This is the other side of oversharing. Take the good with the bad. Penelope is a sweet and smart girl. That said, you shouldn't really be relying on your toddler for emotional support and regulation. She's only learning to manage her own, and here you are treating her like a friend instead of your child. She didn't choose to be born and it's tough navigating motherhood while in grief, but you chose this. You are the adult, not Penelope. My mom also had a stillbirth when I was 4. And I remembered her being catatonic for weeks and when she finally "woke up", she would randomly cry to me or start lashing out. I was very anxious and blamed myself for what's going on. I was so scared that I would lose my mother. It took years of self-reflection and healing to get over that. If you really feel like crying, try your best to do it away from Penelope.
Sorry but you cant control when you are going to cry while grieving... it's the hormones and the grief... you cant just say "okay eyes, dont cry because your daughter is here", and it is perfectly healthy for her to show her emotions and they are bonding through comfort, that will teach her daughter to never hide her feelings, that it is normal and okay to cry and that she always has mommy to hug her and comfort her when sad...
@@maayn For her child she really should. I get that you are all being sympathetic to Vanessa because this is a tough time. but between her and Penelope, she's the adult. If she can grab her phone to record this, she sure as heck can calm herself enough to step away and bawl her eyes out. Toddlers learn through observation, if her mother can't control herself, how will she be able to manage her own? And no, it's not healthy at all to show this to a child. She's not her friend. While I hate to compare us to animals since we are humans after all, a toddler's brain is similar to a baby monkey, they're both immature and if their primary caregiver is breaking apart, it can trigger subconscious fears for their survival, even if they can't name it yet. No wonder we have so many dysfunctional adults when we have people like you who expect the same ftom a child. Just look at the comment section praising Vanessa for letting Penelope see this 🤔
@@justashton255 No, it's not that. It's the lack of reading comprehension lol. You did not understand what I said at all. Crazy that we have the same expectation in toddlers when we can't even do the same for ourselves. Didn't she just say she didn't insist on Penelope wearing a coat, short walk and no coats in car seats anyway because she didn't want a meltdown? She doesn't even want to deal with a meltdown but her child is expected to be her mother's emotional support? Lmao. Two things can be true. She can grieve, but she can learn to not use her child for emotional support. Not giving this woman (who got herself pregnant by the same man who refused to stay for Penelope, continues to stay in debt but orders DoorDash, lets Penelope stay in the same daycare she got hurt, and now monetizing her daughter's death for TH-cam anymore views 🫡
I'm sorry but is she not allowed to self care? Haveyou gone mad? Does she have to look like a depressed dirty hobo? Does grief have a face? Maybe she shoukdn't go out even? Maybe just stay in bed all day, not eat, not shower... give me a break, it is actually healthy and theraputic for her to have self care after all the trauma she went through...
You and Miss P are in my prayers. Big hugs to you both ❤ God is with you all. I also love a good smoothie with almond butter, I sometimes add chocolate protein powder and black coffee to it. So good!
My heart breaks for you, you are such an amazing momma. Lots of love, i know how hard it is to cry in front of your baby but you are teaching her its ok to feel your emotions and what a strong woman is!! Xoxo
I try to never cry in front of her. But we cosleep and it was in the middle of our prayers and I just couldn’t keep it in for a minute or 2. It’s normal and healthy I think.
@heyvanessamartin i know emotions happen, I co slept with both my girls. Hold her tight don't worry about these horrible comments you grieve the way you need to.
I get that everyone has a right to grieve how they feel but you’d never catch me when my parents died making a video saying “14 year old orphan grieving through double motorcycle accident.” Stop.
@ My channel as a whole is monetized and it has been long before my baby died. I also happen to share my real life. Don’t like it or support it then don’t watch.
@@HiStuartWard not trolling. I was a subscriber and watched her videos. This has just not been in. But whatever, this is all engagement for her and will only benefit.
Thankfully I didn’t do an autopsy, but they offered for my son but his OBVIOUS cause of death was umbilical cord strangulation 😭 and I just want to put my love and prayers to 1 mom from another ♥️, nessa ❤
I would do the same as Vanessa, let's not tell a person that they have to do things a certain way just because society says it isnt "normal" or because what you think is wrong just because you wouldnt behave the same... you are probably the type of person that follows trends and does everything you think would impress others and not be your authentic self.... geez.... herlife, her choice... don't like it, leave!
Apparently if a women presents with pre eclampsia the protocol is 35 weeks and above, immediate induction. this just blows my mind seriously. i would deff talk to a lawyer. cause the thing is is, what about the other mothers and babies that this doctor might see is he gonna screw up again and again? so it could help prevent more deaths. as for the doctors outsourcing of the ultrasound story that also is weird to me, let alone not keeping u in for monitoring. like why wouldnt he of just ordered the ultrasound to be done at the hospital in the first place when you were so acute. not sure i believe that story.
Glad you posted I'm so sorry for your loss it is hard you just got to keep your head up and keep going even though it can be so overwhelming it's rough but I am infuriated at some of these comments how people can be so cruel it's sad people can be that miserable don't watch but I always love watching your video's just take it day by day and take care of yourself much love to you and Penelope ❤
Hi Vanessa, I can't imagine how your feeling both emotionally and physically. I imagine its helpful to vlog and making content is helpful for the healing process. I love that you are doing what is best for you and your bravery in sharing your life during this tragedy is inspiring. ❤
Some people will find fault no matter what. To begin with it was Vanessa getting pregnant while single, shopping at a food bank, having an amazon wish list, telling her daughter she loved her too much, talking in a baby voice to Penelope...and now the way she is dealing with her still born baby...even if she shows her grief she's attacked. She's psycho, on the spectrum, making money out of her traumatic experience..so she can't win no matter what she does.
There is nothing weird or unusual or inappropriate about Ms. Martins behavior. So quick are a few to throw in their 2 cents of negativity when they are paying nothing to observe someones reality and have the shield of the screen to spit their vitriol! Cowards they be.
Literally, all my nurses, Doctors, psychologists have all said to me that there is nothing wrong with the way I am grieving. I understand it affects others but that’s their decision to click on my videos or decide to subscribe or not. I’m sharing my raw and real life experience and that doesn’t mean every single detail. It is what it is.
Vanessa here is my prayer for you 🙏 Dear Heavenly Father I come before your throne of Grace I ask you to continue to give Vanessa your peace that passes all understanding, give her your strength and comfort, wrap her in your loving arms. May she feel your presence so strong surrounding her . Give her some extra Love as she deals with this great loss. In Jesus Mighty and Holy Name I pray Amen🙏 Love you my sweet sister in Christ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
What hospital are you going too where you are what part of Canada 🇨🇦 do you live in I'm originally from Moncton New Brunswick but I'm now living in Toronto Ontario for over 20 years now since 2000
@@heyvanessamartinplease be so careful about telling people on this public platform your location. You really don’t know who you are talking to in this day and age. You are so trusting I would hate to see anything happen to you . I don’t want to scare you. It’s just a caring word of advice ❤
@@heyvanessamartinYou are doing a great job with Penelope. Seeing you cry a little bit is not going to hurt her, she probably won’t even remember this. But it will teach her empathy and to not be afraid to show emotions. Most of your time spent with her is cheerful. She is learning that people have all kinds of feelings and that is ok.
Penelope looked so cute in those little blue boots!! So much cuteness! I'm so happy that you two have each other. I think it's a great idea for you and your mom to get a place together! How perfect is that!? Something to definitely look forward to. Continuing to pray for you as you move forward into this year....
I'm heartbroken by all the mean comments that people are leaving due to not understanding your grieving process, and that's exactly what it is, YOUR grieving process. 💔💔I have never been through something like this, so I would never even begin to understand how it affects someone nor would I ever judge someone who is going through it for how they choose to cope with the situation especially when they are doing the best they can. I'm praying for you mama! I pray that you find peace and comfort in your circumstances and I pray that you see the goodness of God even when things are not good at all in this season of your life and may it always remind you that joy comes in the morning. Darkness does not last forever, storms do not last forever; joy comes in the morning! God bless you mama!❤❤
@jennawoytovich4388 we also need to remember we only see a very small part of the day. However she copes it is her journey and all we can do is support her not judge.
There’s a small club of them that have been leaving her hateful comments for a long time now. Since before the baby. But at this point it’s just became diabolical.
@@cathycarriere Literally, and we probably mainly see the better moments of each day! So yes, I agree we just need to be supportive in her time of need!😊
The title is disturbing and blunt. The shot of the crib is upsetting. I know you wanted your baby, but you seem disconnected from what happened. If youre sad and just pretending to be ok for youtube thats not healthy in my opinion. Maybe take a break from these videos and try to work through all the emotions.
Vanessa, I love the Bible verses you have been sharing! I'm studying the Gospel of Mark right now. I went through John about 10 days ago. It helps us humans so much! I wanted to say that I believe God is going to bless you! Keep your focus on HIM and your beloved family! Lots of Love sweet lady! 💜
@@heyvanessamartin I hope you had a good day! I did :) Made some healthy cookies with dates. You make really healthy delicious meals! I have some Pavoi jewelry, and it is quite good quality with decent pricing! ❤
People making horrible comments to you but are still watching you is bewildering to me. Pay them no mind. You grieve how you want to grieve ❤this is your life. People who make bad comments usually don’t feel good about themselves. You are strong for not only you but for Penelope ❤
@ no problem. Anytime. Being ridiculed for grieving is disgusting; shame on them. Because in all honesty everyone in life goes through grief and no one should be put down because of it.
Leave Vanessa alone. If you haven't been in her shoes, you have no right to judge her. Penelope knew she was having a baby sister, now she's not. Its better Vanessa explained SOMETHING to her. As someone who has been where she is, lost someone crucial in my family at Penelope's age, AND deals with death daily as a career, I say Vanessa is doing great. 💛
Good afternoon Vanessa ❤ glad you’re on the road to recovery from everything. One day at a time. Here for you always from one native to another xoxo. I’m from the Mohawk nation south of Montreal.
Vanessa, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so thankful you're still alive. I know of a local woman that passed away from this at birth. Also, the negative comments come from people that are unhappy (underneath) & think they have to put others down to feel better. You keep doing you & what works for you sweet Momma. I lost my adult son a few years ago & I was pretty strong at first. I don't cry in front of others either. His little boys were more important than me and they needed comfort. Also, even though I've been taking an antidepressant for years, I really think the Lord held me together. I immersed myself in His word & KLOVE Radio to comfort me. Praying for you. Grandma Kim❤️
You are wrong, most of the people commenting on the over use of TH-cam to garner sympathy abandoned are not unhappy, they just don't like seeing the internet abuse of the viewers sympathies for profit. I'm sure every single one of us feel sympathy for her loss but do we want to be depressed every day with the videos that seem to be more about content than her loss? I don't think so. I am sure that it will take some time for her to recover from the loss, if ever but it is her loss and most of us will try to offer support and comfort for a while but enough is enough. Time to pray in private and ask the Lord for strength to get through this in private as well.
The bible tells us "when you pray, go into your closet and pray; do not do as the hypocrite that prays in the street". We are suppose to show our faith and testify for Jesus but that should be done by our actions not by verbal preaching.
So sorry for your loss, Vanessa ❤️ you’re a wonderful mom to Penelope and this is all normal. Ignore the hate, process how you need. Penelope is the sweetest. Much, much love from TO, Canada ❤️❤️❤️
I feel bad because there is no mention of support from friends, neighbors or work colleagues for her. They could help with a meal train, get groceries and bring them up to her apartment, take Penelope to and from daycare and just visit. Maybe she does have that and did not share it. It means a lot when people rally around for support. Strangers on social media are not the same.
I have support from friends, family and coworkers. They’ve all reached out to me directly. I don’t want help from others besides family and I hope to eventually let more people in as the year goes on.
With all respect Vanessa, as a fan of your channel, i feel you would benefit from taking a wee break for yourself away from social media- youtube , what you have experienced is very traumatic and you need to recover away from comments and likes. Much love & respect to you ❤❤
Im such a big supporter of you. Thanks for sharing your grief, your Bible verses, and your life with us. ❤❤❤ Try your best to ignore these haters. Let the first one without sin cast the first stone or whatever. 🙏🙏🙏 You are amazing, strong, and beautiful. I wish you and Penelope all the best!
Oh my heart breaks for you. Your doing so great with how you are handling your own grief. Dont let others take this away from you. Im so sorry your going through this pain. Thoughts and prayers sent to you and your family ❤❤❤
Aww Vanessa, it’s good to let those emotions out. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that we were concerned with how much you were holding in. You are so strong. One day at a time, vlog and journal and pray all that you need to ❤ take all the time in the world you need! I wish I could just give you a big hug, make you a meal, and just be there. Big hugs 🤗 to you girl. I just know that God has big plans for you, and one day you will complete your lovely little family. It’ll all make sense with time
It seems as though you should have someone staying with you for company and support. Perhaps your Mother is with you outside filming. I certainly hopes so. Also, early days, you look great and don’t need to worry about your weight.
The situation is heartbreaking, I dont pretend to know what that feels like, its just some of this behavior comes across as very insensitive. Everyone grieves differently, but constant selfies and fussing about her weight gain is really disturbing after such a extreme loss
I'm so glad you are able to find small moments of joy right now. your grief is your own, and anyone who has anything negative to say, simply, doesn't understand true love ❤
Jesus has Pricilla , I have no doubt. She is in heaven getting the absolute best care a child can have. One day you will see her. My father in law lived with us and he and I talked a lot about heaven. I told him all about a book I read “ Heaven is for real “ by Colton Burpo. He was age 3 almost 4 when his appendix burst . Colton comes back after a near death experience. He was literally deceased several minutes. He told one story about his sister in heaven and how she played with him and that her hair is dark not like his sister in earth but that they look almost a like. Well. Colton Burpo was a toddler basically kind of becoming a little pre schooler. He had no idea his mother had a miscarriage. But Colton met her ! She’s waiting on her parents to join her one day in heaven. She doesn’t have a name yet because they didn’t name her. Colton said she’s waiting for their parents to get to heaven to name her. He told all kind of stuff he had no way of knowing about. HEAVEN IS FOR REAL ! They made a movie about him but the book is so much better. Please watch it , read it. I’ve read probably 50 books on NDE. And I believe that people sometimes go to heaven after death but are turned back because they are still needed on earth 🌍 I never understood why my father in law loved for me to tell him about Colton meeting his sister in heaven. Until we went through all of the paperwork in his home. There it was. His mother had a still born daughter. She is buried in Germany. There is a contract in the papers stating that her grave will be maintained for ever. My father in law was happy because he knew that he would finally meet his sister. I know of another amazing book about that. I’ll find the name and let you know. Fred loved that story too. It’s an incredible story! I had an experience at age 5 and that is another reason I know heaven is real. Your little girl is in the best place. I know being on earth and with your mom & sister is wonderful but we must trust Jesus in knowing what is better. Maybe there was something he saved her from, this was so much better for her for all we know. But we must believe that. Jesus has our best interest at all times. And if a child is in trouble he’s there or he sends an Angel. I was holding my 6 month old daughter in a plane crash in 1985, I mean no fuel , no landing gear at a closed airport due to Fog. No runway lights just Belly down. my wing hit first. I was jolted in every direction clinging to my tiny baby. I thought I was going to die that night. I had began to intercede over my daughter, praying she would survive. I heard prayers In Every language. There were almost 300 of us on that flight. ✈️ I really want to write a book because the crash was not nearly the story, it’s so much more. Jesus was there. I have never felt so much love & joy as I did that night in knowing I was about to meet Jesus. I literally had no fear. Nothing on earth can compare to the pure joy and love of Jesus. And I had not died yet. Just imagine the absolute purest love and complete unconditional love that Jesus gave Pricilla as she was carried by the Angels. Because Angels do greet us as we go through the pearly gates. She was carry on street of pure gold. Can you imagine now the care she is receiving. And she knows you and her sister and all her family are sad but she doesn’t want you to feel sad . She’s safe ! She loves all of you. Time doesn’t exist in heaven so to her she will see you very soon. This is where faith comes in. It’s hard to have faith sometimes. But imagine the joy you will experience one day when you get to be with her . Live a full wonderful life here on earth and your little girl will be waiting on you. She’s not sad , she is happy because she knows you’re coming. 60, 70 , 80 years is nothing in heaven. You will pick up with her just like there was no separation. JEREMIAH 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you , before you were born I set you apart : I appointed you as a profit to all Nations. Jesus/ Yeshua knew Pricilla before she was placed in your womb. That’s why Jesus is our first love 💕. He loves us first. You don’t ever need to worry. Your precious little girl is with our first love. She will want for nothing. Although she wants her mother And her sister to her it want be long at all before she is with you again. 2 Peter 3:8 But , Beloved, Be not ignorant of this one thing . That one day is with the Lord as 1000 years as 1 day. God is not bound by days , no time exists to him or in heaven. Don’t wait or rush , feel no limits due to time. God knows the plan and purpose he has for you. ❤
Yes!!!! Thank you. Priscilla was taken straight to the very best place. That is the only reason I have a certain level of peace through this. I am grieving but I also am confident she is with Jesus and I will see her again. I can’t wait for that day ❤️
Hi Vanessa! I commented yesterday without reading all these negative comments. I worked labor and delivery for many years. Fetal demise was absolutely the most devastating part of my job. No women or families respond in the same way. It is a very unexpected outcome in a pregnancy. There is no preparing for such a heartbreaking outcome. Please ignore comments telling you how to feel or behave. Do whatever you need to do. The grief process is long and unpredictable. Like I said .. hold on tight and be kind to yourself. The memory box is a wonderful gift. When/if you r ready it is a blessing to have. We treated our babies with so much love while preparing the box. I promise you she was loved and respected by all that cared for her. Much love Venessa 🩷
@@karenknight9565 excellent professional comment. Coming from a labor and delivery nurse. You’ve undoubtedly been with families grieving, seeing a myriad of grief, it’s extremely subjective. This group of people posting on every video, with heartbreaking commentary, I can’t fathom doing that. I resonated with your comment, thank you. Vanessa if you read this, please know my thoughts have been with you and Penelope. You’re a strong, smart woman, you live your life for God, laying your head on His shoulder will help while trusting His Plan. Take care, do self care, and know you have many people who care for you.❤️
Yall wanted to see her grieve so bad well there you go. Dont go complaining that she showed her emotions!!! Vanessa im here to be a true supporter and follower. The start of this one broke my whole heart for you! You are strong for yoir sweet pea,❤ you seem like such a wonderful and patient mother❤ keep on going❤
In Canada, healthcare is free but it’s not the fastest and they do make mistakes. I had a spine MRI that showed lesions on my spine but the clinic forgot to send the results to my doctor and my doctor forgot to do a follow up. She told me if she doesnt reach out to me, it’s because the MRI was negative and everything was fine so I thought that’s what it was. But my neck pain kept getting worse and worse so I made an another appointment and that’s when we found out the mistakes. And now I need surgery on my freakin spine that I should have had one year and a half ago! It’s crazy. My doc said I could sue but I have yet to talk to a medical lawyer. It’s very frustrating, Im very empathetic towards your medical situation because the cost was your baby’s life! That’s not fair! 😢 ❤
Everyone grieves in their own way, but the titles and blood emoji could be very triggering to someone who also dealt with this situation. Tell your story, but please just be aware of others too ❤
I am seeing so many stupid comments. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I had three small children when my son passed away and there was simply no way for them NOT to see me grieve. Counseling is a great idea however these comments are WAY off and quite frankly sound so stupid. let your child see that feelings are real rather it be grief, anger, sadness....ect, You are raising her in the real world. Things don't always make mommy's happy. Be honest with her. You are doing the best you can so ignore these trolls.
thank you for sharing these moments with us-I pray that you start to heal from the HELLP syndrome , your body has been through so much and you are a wonderful , caring mother to your little girl. God Bless
Vanessa, please this is becoming very concerning. Please get help if u are feeling overwhelmed and maybe your depression and meds need to be looked at for the severe amount of possible post partum depression you are presenting with .As well the are meds that can be add on meds if your depression meds are not working as well due to your body's trying to move it's way back to normal. I have had severe depression since I was 20 and it remains controlled with the highest dose of my antidepressants. I get it. But it does present that some of your words and title remain disturbing to others. Please get help or reach out for assistance from your physician or lines of communication offering u to speak to a counsellor regarding your depression. No hate no JUDGEMENT here but look after yourself 1st as Penelope needs you.god bless👱🏻♀️🩺🏩😷❤️❤️❤️🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🙏🙏🙏🙏🏩
She removed the “dead baby” from the title and put up a new title. The “dead baby” title was very upsetting to me. Her videos are becoming more and more outrageous. The posing in front of the camera and showing her belly was not needed.
A woman who went through a pregnancy, and whose body may have changed.....looking at her body and belly is realistic, authentic, and relevant to her situation. And ppl her age making duck lips is just what they do. It's not that serious that she squeezed her lower belly. It's her life, and her feelings that count. We are bystanders by choice. If you don't like it, don't watch.
Didn’t have the camera on? Because you couldn’t produce any fake tears.🙄that was so pathetic.. if people can’t see how fake that was there is something wrong with them.
Why do you have to be so mean. She lost her baby she can do and feel how she pleases. If you don’t like what’s posted then scroll on and no need to leave hate comments. Everyone grieves differently. Ignore the hate Vanessa ❤
Vanessa, I’m reading some of these comments and it is truly a shame to read these disrespectful, judgmental comments. This is how I view it: I’ve been through difficult things in life (miscarriage, abusive relationships, bullying, parents divorce, family deaths with different causes, etc) and through each difficult phase I went through, I grieved differently. With my miscarriage, I felt angry, self destructive, and so much guilt. I turned all of these feelings inwards. I hated and blamed myself even for the smallest things. With my aunt’s death (died by suicide), I was in shock and only wanted to focus on the good memories I had with her. I couldn’t stand seeing anyone cry about her death. I didn’t want to cry in front of others. My whole point here is: grief is different for everyone. Sometimes the brain goes into overdrive and tries to forget about the trauma by keeping busy with other thoughts and things to do. This is all shocking and very new to you. Grief comes in stages. Also, you will have people along your grief journey that will say some questionable and insensitive things. These comments can be painful, I know. Focus on those that are supportive of you. I hope this helps.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel like I’m trying to block it out but I also do let myself feel the emotions in the night when I’m alone. It hurts so much. ❤️❤️❤️
@@heyvanessamartinabsolutely. During the day, we try to busy ourselves as much as possible to block out the pain. We are setting a shield up to protect ourselves. When my grandfather died when I was 10 years old, I actually became interested in how death was and how people grieve. It’s interesting how life works sometimes.
@@heyvanessamartinI get it. When my husband was going through cancer I would cry in the shower. I’d go through the motions of the day as normally as I could because I couldn’t control what was happening but I could control how I reacted. And that created a sense of normalcy that I needed to deal rationally with the situation and care for my family. So you do what gives you the strength to get through. I wish I could moderate and delete and block the negativity coming at you.
I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP TRYING TO TELL THIS WOMAN HOW TO LIVE HER LIFE AND WHAT DO AND HOW TO GRIEVE ETC. just because someones way of life does not match yours doesnt mean they have to change for you. Dont like it then dont watch it so simple.
I usually never comment on any videos! But the down right hate towards this woman! Who may i remind you is a mother, a daughter, and so many other titles! Now she is a mother who lost a child! Don't be so worried about her video titles or views or any of the other nonsense some of you have chosen to criticize her for! SHE LOST A CHILD!!! Nobody forces anyone to watch her channel! Where has people's compassion and sympathy gone these days?? Some of you should be ashamed of yourself!
I find it bewildering that people are leaving comments on your 'odd behaviour' or the way in which you process and grieve what has happened, people deal with trauma in so many different ways, and on top of that trying to hold it all together and be a lone parent at the same time... Some people just have no idea and clearly no compassion.... I'm a single mother myself, so from one single mother to another - you are doing great Vanessa and don't let anyone have you believe different ❤ I will keep praying for you and your family and I wish you all nothing but the best in your grieving and healing journey 🙏🏻❤
I would never try to tell anyone how to deal with their grief! I understand the grief of losing loved ones but what I do not understand filming yourself at the lowest points in your life subsisting on you tube. It's one thing to let your viewers know what happened but to continue posting videos of crying and keep telling your child that the baby died over and over is just not right. For one thing some things should be private for another, the display of years and grief soon becomes a ploy for sympathy and is depressing to most viewers. I don't mean to be a hater and I do sympathise with your loss but stop using it for content, that is actually dispicable. Also using the bible and faith as another ploy to garner attention is also being over done. When you overdo anything, it works against what it should be.
@@mabelregimal5407 the baby did die. thats a fact. and the fact that vanessa is open about that with penelope is actually a beautiful and responsible thing. vanessa is telling penelope the truth. go and get a life.
@@mabelregimal5407 the only thing that is despicable here is your lack of empathy towards others, not everyone will react to something the way you would, just because you can't understand or relate to why someone chooses to act the way they do doesn't mean you have the right to be so rude and cruel to someone who is already going through something so hard. If you have such a problem with these videos go watch someone else who aligns more with what you want to see instead.
I understand that everyone grieves differently and I too have lost a baby but the way you have acted with such nonchalance and appeared more focused on making videos singing and doing your makeup in the hospital and making kissy faces is bizarre. Then you stand there in a body shot and make that face with the hand motion around your stomach? Either you are looking at this loss as relief and as a payday or you are severely sick and out of touch with reality. How could you be so vain after the loss of a baby? You need to sit in your grief and stop using it for video titles to get views.
You understand but…
@@heyvanessamartin your behaviour isn’t understandable. It’s barely tolerable. You’re humiliating yourself.
@@sarahdoherty8581 Actually it is understandable to hundreds of people. No humiliation here.
@heyvanessamartin Your sick! The titles are these videos and the utter lack of any emotion is not normal... I think the her comment above was right.. you find this ad a relief. And that's ok bit say that so we can understand you better and not see you as heartless
You Understand nothing! Have you had a stillborn baby? Have you had a child die? Have you ever been in shock? Have you experienced sudden & unexpected death of a baby? Have a heart❤
She needs to grieve in private not on TH-cam. Its very weird and all her titles on her videos are a little much
I suggest you not watch my channel.
@@heyvanessamartinI 100% agree with your comment Vanessa ^_^ Some people don't get it....
Yall mad if she doesnt show her grief and yall mad if she does JUST DONT WATCH. Obviously you dont enjoy wTching so dont
She needs to grieve however she feels she needs to grieve. It might not be how YOU grieve...but that doesn't make it weird and I don't think the title of anything really matters...isn't it the content held within the bounds of the title? Like a book or a movie or a TH-cam vlog?
Vanessa would you please not put dead on your headlines as this is very triggering for some who have lost loved one who would love to watch your videos and support you. Can you use still birth or passed away. Im not telling you what to do but have watched all your videos and would love to support you still but it is very triggering and harsh to see dead on you posts. I am praying your doing ok and please take care of yourself ❤
THANK YOU!!! That’s what I’ve been trying to say and I’m getting ripped apart for it! It’s a horrible way to refer to any person’s passing, but especially a baby’s!
I agree. However, I question if this is where we may not know everything about her. It’s possible she is on the Autism spectrum and be a high functioning “Autistic “ as sometimes people with this diagnosis may seem very direct and shockingly cavalier. I maybe wrong but given so much of her content has been really wonderful but when it comes to emotional or socially sensitive topics she does not seem to understand the way her approach maybe viewed by the general public. I could be very much off base but I’m hoping it’s something like this vs just being cold and indifferent.
@@Julianasmom for anyone who is grieving themselves the titles are very harsh and id never want to hear my loved one is dead, passed on, passed away is much nicer as dead sounds like you hated the loved on who passed on and have no heart towards them. Its very triggering for me but i must not be the only one. Like i said i cant tell anyone what to do but just suggest they use a different way of saying their loved one passed away.
@@Melaine-u8eI’m autistic with lower support needs and we don’t sugarcoat things I will agree with that. I understand people being shocked by the title of the video and maybe because V is still in shock and struggling to navigate her new reality - her choice of words could be her way of trying to accept this by versing it as the reality it is. Her baby is dead and I can’t begin to imagine there is a correct way to behave, or process that as we are all unique. V is showing the rollercoaster of emotions this situation brings, and if she has a moment where she smiles or poses for the camera I don’t think we should deep it or judge. We don’t see all 24 hours of her day, this is just a segment. Women need to lift women up and not tear each other down. Her videos could help others experiencing similar.
Honestly I’m sorry for your loss but your titles are horrible. Capitalizing off the death of a baby is just wrong. Plus putting your toddler through your trauma is sad. Please stop
I’m not capitalizing off of my babies death. I’m a vlogger who has made videos for a little while now and my channel is monetized as a whole. I’m making the same amount as if it was any other video. You don’t see the numbers. I have always shared my real life regardless if it bothers people.
When children are involved in "vlogging" it is always an issue with child exploitation as they have no choice nor ability to give informed consent to be on camera. Children draw in easy views. With these titles, since the stillbirth (rest in peace sweetheart), and the way the vlogs are being marketed, it is absolutely capitalizing off of the loss of the baby. There's no two ways around it unfortunately.
What’s the difference of children being on parents public social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook?
@heyvanessamartin I'm not trying to come off as sounding judgemental. I'm just a realist and call things for what they are. In all honesty I have enjoyed watching you grow your channel and employ your techniques to help generate conversations, etc. I feel immeasurably sorry for your loss. To answer your question, whenever there is monetary gain involved, there is difference. I personally, do not share my young one on social media. I share in private messages with trusted friends and family (who are few and far between). Not telling anyone else what they should or should not do it's not my place. We're just out here having conversations...which will benefit your channel any way. In my heart it is my hope that you would consider looking into grief councelling. That would be a cool journey to follow. ❤
Sorry but I disagree, sharing her child here and there is just her vlogging her life... nothing wrong with that, she doesnt show every little thing of her... and some people benefit from grief counselling and some dont... some have other ways of releasing... I never went to grief councelling for the death of my father and still in denial and grief for 4 years now.. didn't get counselling because I have childhood trauma from them... so some people cope differently... at least she is releasing instead of bottling up which isnt good.... and I love that she is her real authentic self and doesnt hide the good and the ugly, she expresses her inner most emotions so others who are going through the same thing can relate and not feel alone.
You seriously need time to grieve and not in this way. Your ex is not going to come back. Ask your mum to stay. Penelope does not need to be included on YT; this will be around forever.
I’ll decide
I haven't heard V say she wants him back. 😮
Not your life, not your choice.
I share this with love. As someone who had deep emotional trauma as a young child (I found my mother dead in the bathtub when I was three and my dad was not home) and was left with a parent who didn't properly know how to handle the situation due to shock, grief and his own lifetime of difficulties and trauma, I strongly suggest grief councelling for you and little Penelope. They will help you and they will help you help Penelope. Please consider the following:
Very young children shouldn’t be required to have empathy for their parents because their brains are still developing, and they lack the emotional and cognitive maturity to fully understand or take responsibility for others’ feelings.
1. Developmental Limitations:
Young children are naturally egocentric. Their primary focus is on their own needs and experiences because they’re still learning how to navigate and understand the world. Empathy requires perspective-taking, which typically develops later in childhood.
2. Emotional Safety:
Requiring a child to meet a parent’s emotional needs can place an undue burden on them, creating a dynamic where they feel responsible for the parent’s happiness. This can hinder their own emotional growth and lead to issues like guilt or anxiety.
3. Parent-Child Role:
The parent-child relationship should focus on the parent providing support, guidance, and love to the child. Reversing this dynamic may lead to unhealthy relational patterns and neglect the child’s own developmental needs.
4. Empathy is Modeled, Not Demanded:
Children learn empathy by observing and experiencing it from their caregivers. When parents model empathy, kindness, and understanding, children naturally begin to develop these traits over time.
Allowing children the space to develop at their own pace ensures their emotional health and creates a foundation for genuine, healthy relationships in the future.
Sending prayers. Despite grief Penelope still needs you, and this role, if reversed, will hinder her development. I know because I know. ❤
Penelope is not required to have empathy for me.
@@heyvanessamartin you would never have ''expectations'' of penelope vanessa. ignore this above comment seriously.
@heyvanessamartin I understand this perspective, but displaying such a deep level of grief in front of her and thereby pulling her through it with you is causing her to feel as though that is the right thing to do. I went through this as a child. Children think in very simple terms. They internalize absolutely everything. I mean no harm, no hate. A grief councellor will help you help Penelope. Despite the horrible thing you've had to face, and my heart truly hurts for you, Penelope needs to be kept protected and buffered from the trauma. A simple understanding is all a little one can digest. They cannot fathom such grief. I can only suggest grief councelling for you both. This sort of method of grieving with her is damaging her sense of emotional safety. ❤️
This is A LOT for this toddler to go through and I'm not sure how healthy it is...
Praying for this situation
Penelope has such an advanced vocabulary! You've done a wonderful job teaching her. She's only 2 years old and can carry on a conversation with an adult. Wow!!❤Still praying for healing!🙏
Thank you! She is my little smartie ❤️❤️
Why does Penelope go to daycare if she doesn't work?
I work 2 full time jobs
Sorry for what happened. But please keep your daughter in mind. She doesn't need to perhaps suffer from nightmares because she is worried for you. Its also upsetting for your daughter! It will take a lot of time. Talking to someone may help you!
I highly doubt she will have nightmares just because her mom is crying and they are comforting each other..
@@maayna baby is NOT responsible for comforting her. She is her baby’s mother. Imagine how confusing it is for a baby to watch her mom fall apart??? She needs to deal with her grief with adult support (therapy) and stop traumatizing her child. Period.
@shari102476 I am sorry but she isn't traumatizing the child, she is holding her at bed time and she cried because of the sweet prayer and what her daughter said along with the grief, is shenot allowed to cry in front of her daughter? Children sence when we are sad and naturally comfort us by saying "it's okay mommy, don't be sad". That doesn't traumatize the child... it shows how Penelope hasempathy for her mom, nothing will happen to her, if anything it will make her more loving and caring and learn to speak out about her sadness insteadof holding it in and know that if sheis sad, mommy is there to comfort her... you guys put too much bs in it.
OK DR. SPOCK!!!
Ughhh im trying so hard to be respectful and understanding but this is getting more and more awkward. I just don't know how I could bring myself to doing something like this. I've been through a lot of traumatic experiences in my life never a still birth but I have had ectopic pregnancies and other issues. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child I carried full term however I also can't imagine making money off my experiences let alone something like this. Obviously she's making money off of this and she knows it. As long as everyone is watching, engaging, she's getting rich off her dead baby. I can barely bring myself to say that don't know how she can title her videos like that.
That’s why not all of us are vloggers on TH-cam.
That is if any of this is actually true. But she also talks about being a single mom and how hard it is when she intentionally had a baby with a dude that she knew wouldn't stick around. I don't know how much of all of this is true
Guys if this upsets you, don’t watch her videos. People grieve differently.
I don’t think she should be crying & talking in front of Penelope this way. I’m sad for that little girl. I would not even think of Vlogging in the hospital or at home after delivering my baby still birth baby. I guess this is how she is grieving. It also blows my mind that she did not want to see her baby or hold her…it’s very sad I just don’t know how she is recording herself.
deborahmercier IF I HAD A STILL BIRTH I WOULD NOT WANT TO HOLD MY DEAD BABY EITHER IT IS TO PAINFUL.
I want to say…. I don’t think the negative comments are to hurt you but rather strangers concerned for you, your well being, your mental health. We aren’t living your life but from the moments you post and share with us it doesn’t look like anything negative or traumatic has happened, maybe it’s denial, maybe you’re choosing to share the “normal” moments from your day, but we are not shown the real, raw, heartbreaking emotions that we (strangers) are feeling for YOU and this awful outcome. After all, many of us have been here for the past 9 months along side you.
I know how badly I struggled with the baby blues after delivery and can’t even imagine what you’re going through with the hormone shift PLUS having a loss of a child. Big hugs to you Vanessa! ❤
This!!!! I commented on this video and got so much hate for it. My comment wasn't meant to be mean. I genuinely don't understand her and how's she's dealing with this in the way she is!!
I tried to share a small clip of me crying with Penelope in the night and I was told I’m fake and not authentic.
@@ThatsCass your comments are mean and you know it. now your trying to back track in some weird way. just get lost.
@@ThatsCass when a mother loses a child saying anything negative at all is just plain wrong. did your mother not teach you if you got nothing nice to say dont say it. you dont kick others when they are down.
@@ThatsCass but if you do not understand that is your problem!
I feel for any mother who has lost a child no matter whether it breathed the breath of life or not...that being said.. just reading the title of this video made me feel nauseated, still I watched about the first 5 minutes if even that. I could not watch anymore.😔
Hey Vanessa, always here for you girl…keeping you in my thoughts & prayers❤
❤️❤️❤️
Are any of the professionals involved in your care concerned for your mental health? I think it’s important you are monitored too. No hate with this ❤
No one is concerned about my mental health besides strangers on TH-cam.
@@heyvanessamartinI truly hope that isn’t the case. Your mom seems very involved in your life. Is she not concerned in your mental health from such a traumatic experience? I know when my brother in law took his life 🔫 to the head in front of my sister, niece (age 5) and nephews (age 3 & 1) I fought for many months for them to get in therapy even though my sister didn’t think she needed it. Over a year later she did go and her only regret today is she didn’t go to therapy sooner. I had my first therapy appointment last year at 38 from childhood trauma and wish so badly I could go back and have many more years of therapy detangling all the trauma. It’s your life and ultimately you make your own decisions. However I will say I once couldn’t see how therapy could be so beneficial until I used it myself. Best of luck to you and just don’t go too long keeping things bottled up because you never know when they’ll come out in the form of depression, anxiety and more.
@@kristy_1986 I never said I’m not getting therapy. I’m looking into finding a grief, infant loss therapist.
Excuse me but she is grieving-she has just lost her baby girl and everything is appropriate. This is what grief looks like.
@@melaniebatmanThere is grief and there is detachment. Grief doesn't look just like anything. There are different reactions to trauma and only one of them is grief. Grief is a healthy way to navigate trauma and it progresses through fairly distinct stages. Grief can be totally avoided and haunt a person for a life time. Detachment is the first stage of avoidant grief.
I thought you said you were 36 weeks and five days pregnant. When I started watching you. You said Penelope slept in the bedroom and you slept on the couch. Now you're saying you are sleeping on a mattress on the floor and it was difficult for you to get up. Someone sent you money to get a head board and frame? I'm saying this out😊 of kindness and very concerned. Honey you have got to get some grief counseling. I lost my son. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God and a good therapist. I know I don't know you personally. I'm extremely worried an about you. I'm sending major prayers and love your way..
When I first went to my prenatal apt that the Doctor first saw high blood pressure, I was 35 weeks and 5 days on that day. When there was no heart beat detected I was 36 weeks and 6 days. When I first moved into my apartment Penelope slept in her crib in the bedroom and I slept on my mattress in the living room. I’ve rearranged a few times. Now she has outgrown her crib for a few months now and cosleeps with me in the bedroom we now share. I am getting a grief counsellor. I have professionals, friends and family all supporting me. The only people worried about my mental health are strangers on TH-cam.
@@heyvanessamartinI am saying this kindly and with concern. I have watched silently for awhile. So I am not new to your channel
There is good reason us TH-cam people are concerned. The titles, the blood drop, talking bluntly about dead baby in title really comes across crazy and insane ( I use these words in their true form not being mean. We are all seeing the same thing and clearly so many of us are feeling the same sort of way. So please just look at this from an outside perspective. Maybe you will be able to see what we are all seeing. Prayers to you
@@Colleen4376I don't know what you see as crazy and insane, I see authentic, real. She doesn't have to hide the fact of what it is... your looking too much into something and making up a conspiracy theory... maybe go watch other people that fit your narrative...noone asked you to watch her videos, you made that choice on your own free will honey.
@@Colleen4376 speak for yourself lady! You do not represent all the youtube viewers! Maybe you got the problem being so worried about someone you watch on TH-cam!
@@Colleen4376have you ever considered not watching?
I am new to channel, I care , there are positive but the level of buying in her grief is concerning. I lost a baby but i never experienced that level of self care nor would I waht to. It is concerning her level of portraying herself after losing a baby. We have lost a level of privacy on social media. She really is very concerned with her looks after losing a baby. Something isnt right.
It’s right for me
Everyone grieves differently, she is choosing to share to bring awareness to others going through the same... we need to normalize these things like grief,mental health, addiction because someones unfortunately heartbreaking experience could help another person going through it, it's making a community to help each other through the hardship of life. I dont see anything concerning about it.
Everyone’s grief journey is different.
Dude? If she wants to roller skate her way through Iceland dressed as Bluey and only communicating in barks to grieve? That is valid. People grieve differently. Incidentally, self-care should be a HUGE thing after something like this...whatever it looks like to that person (if it isn't illegal or actively harming somebody--and I don't think a little more debt is a big harm after what she's faced). I'm sorry for your loss and I hope however you have been grieving it has been helpful to you and brought you to a better place, but just because her reaction is to engage in behavior that perhaps you yourself didn't engage in during the aftermath of your loss does not mean something is wrong. She is facing this her own way and that's the only way ANYBODY can face anything--on their own terms. Maybe focusing on looks is a way of focusing on EXTERIOR life (the superficial and light--like skincare) rather than INTERIOR life (like sitting here and actively replaying every minute of the last couple weeks aloud to us and what one thing might have changed the whole outcome which people are prone to do when faced with a traumatic outcome to a situation like this) which is probably a LOT harder to deal with right now. When people aren't okay? They tend to fall back into old patterns that are comforting. Habits. Shopping is a thing for her. It's no different than comfort eating or anything else addictive. It gives a dopamine hit and I'm guessing her brain and body (still hormonally off at this stage) REALLY need that just to get through the day. She isn't stupid and she has recognized her own habits. I think, right now, worrying about whether you spent some money on jewelry from Amazon or something or bought a couple outfits seems pretty trivial in comparison to losing a baby. It must feel almost pointless and laughable to think about another $100 of debt weighed against the death of a child. Like...maybe consider you and she might grieve and handle things differently before making a comment like this.
@@HarleyQuinn-wo9wc THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING!!! 🙌🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️
I hope you don’t acknowledge or pay mind to negative comments , live your truth and don’t even acknowledge any negative comments , I hope things get better sorry for your loss 💗
Very weird video! Scary even!😢
How so?
@@heyvanessamartinsecretly recording your daughters prayers was pretty creepy. That’s a huge invasion of privacy.
It was my prayer with my toddler. I wanted to share during a time when I released some pain since I’m being called a liar, fake and inauthentic.
@ you wouldn’t use such vulgar and click bait titles if you were actually concerned what people thought of you.
@@christinelinder4954wtf?! Are you actually serious? How is praying an invasion of privacy? Most people pray together in Church in front of others, sometimes strangers... would you go and please tell them that their privacy is being invaded? I see many Church videos of people praying.... what the actual eff....
Please stop traumatizing your toddler. She doesn’t need to see you breakdown like that. I know you are suffering but don’t put this adult pain on your child. She has no idea what death is and doesn’t need to learn this way. I’ll be praying for you.😊
It’s normal and healthy to show emotion to my toddler sometimes. As per my medical professionals etc. and common sense.
@ common sense tells a person to not have mental breakdowns in front of a child. Listen back to what you are saying to her. Do that in front of a therapist not a child. It’s unfair to put that weight on her.
Disagree.
She just lost a baby you heartless she can't control emotions right now@@mariaparker318
mariaparker OMG IF HER DAUGHTER IS THERE, AND SHE IS CRYING WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO DO. IT SHOWS HER DAUGHTER AT A YOUNG AGE TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONS. WHAT SHE IS SUPPOSE TO DO RUN, AND HIDE WITH HER DAUGHTER RIGHT THERE! I DISAGREE WITH YOU, AND YOUR NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! SO SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE FAKE BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER IS THERE, OR REAL! HER DAUGHTER IS VERY SMART, AND UNDERTANDS A LOT FOR HER AGE.
This is an incredibly tough situation to be in. We all grieve differently. The problem is, you could have demonitized this, use a less sensational thumbnail and posted trigger warnings. You didn't. And that can put off a lot of people. I wish we live in a world where we all agree on every thing. But we do not. This is the other side of oversharing. Take the good with the bad.
Penelope is a sweet and smart girl. That said, you shouldn't really be relying on your toddler for emotional support and regulation. She's only learning to manage her own, and here you are treating her like a friend instead of your child. She didn't choose to be born and it's tough navigating motherhood while in grief, but you chose this. You are the adult, not Penelope.
My mom also had a stillbirth when I was 4. And I remembered her being catatonic for weeks and when she finally "woke up", she would randomly cry to me or start lashing out. I was very anxious and blamed myself for what's going on. I was so scared that I would lose my mother. It took years of self-reflection and healing to get over that. If you really feel like crying, try your best to do it away from Penelope.
Sorry but you cant control when you are going to cry while grieving... it's the hormones and the grief... you cant just say "okay eyes, dont cry because your daughter is here", and it is perfectly healthy for her to show her emotions and they are bonding through comfort, that will teach her daughter to never hide her feelings, that it is normal and okay to cry and that she always has mommy to hug her and comfort her when sad...
P.s.: not everyone experiences the same thing even in similar situations, we are all different andthat is the beauty of it.
@@maayn For her child she really should. I get that you are all being sympathetic to Vanessa because this is a tough time. but between her and Penelope, she's the adult. If she can grab her phone to record this, she sure as heck can calm herself enough to step away and bawl her eyes out. Toddlers learn through observation, if her mother can't control herself, how will she be able to manage her own?
And no, it's not healthy at all to show this to a child. She's not her friend. While I hate to compare us to animals since we are humans after all, a toddler's brain is similar to a baby monkey, they're both immature and if their primary caregiver is breaking apart, it can trigger subconscious fears for their survival, even if they can't name it yet. No wonder we have so many dysfunctional adults when we have people like you who expect the same ftom a child. Just look at the comment section praising Vanessa for letting Penelope see this 🤔
Hiding emotions is exactly what was wrong with previous generations. Mental health openness is what's healthy, this includes crying
@@justashton255 No, it's not that. It's the lack of reading comprehension lol. You did not understand what I said at all. Crazy that we have the same expectation in toddlers when we can't even do the same for ourselves. Didn't she just say she didn't insist on Penelope wearing a coat, short walk and no coats in car seats anyway because she didn't want a meltdown? She doesn't even want to deal with a meltdown but her child is expected to be her mother's emotional support? Lmao. Two things can be true. She can grieve, but she can learn to not use her child for emotional support.
Not giving this woman (who got herself pregnant by the same man who refused to stay for Penelope, continues to stay in debt but orders DoorDash, lets Penelope stay in the same daycare she got hurt, and now monetizing her daughter's death for TH-cam anymore views 🫡
I understand you are heart broken but your videos are a little much. I have noticed that you have gotten your nails done twice since the baby passed.
My nails have been done once since baby died.
I'm sorry but is she not allowed to self care? Haveyou gone mad? Does she have to look like a depressed dirty hobo? Does grief have a face? Maybe she shoukdn't go out even? Maybe just stay in bed all day, not eat, not shower... give me a break, it is actually healthy and theraputic for her to have self care after all the trauma she went through...
Im unsubbing . These videos have been very off putting. Very strange behavior ,and titles for a "grieving " mom
Sorry to see you go.
Exactly what I’ve been saying
You and Miss P are in my prayers. Big hugs to you both ❤ God is with you all. I also love a good smoothie with almond butter, I sometimes add chocolate protein powder and black coffee to it. So good!
Yummy!!
My heart breaks for you, you are such an amazing momma. Lots of love, i know how hard it is to cry in front of your baby but you are teaching her its ok to feel your emotions and what a strong woman is!! Xoxo
I try to never cry in front of her. But we cosleep and it was in the middle of our prayers and I just couldn’t keep it in for a minute or 2. It’s normal and healthy I think.
@heyvanessamartin i know emotions happen, I co slept with both my girls. Hold her tight don't worry about these horrible comments you grieve the way you need to.
I get that everyone has a right to grieve how they feel but you’d never catch me when my parents died making a video saying “14 year old orphan grieving through double motorcycle accident.” Stop.
That’s why not all of us are vloggers on TH-cam.
@@heyvanessamartin true. Not all of us want to monetize the death of family. Got it.
@ My channel as a whole is monetized and it has been long before my baby died. I also happen to share my real life. Don’t like it or support it then don’t watch.
But we will catch you as an adult trolling people. Good look.
@@HiStuartWard not trolling. I was a subscriber and watched her videos. This has just not been in. But whatever, this is all engagement for her and will only benefit.
Thankfully I didn’t do an autopsy, but they offered for my son but his OBVIOUS cause of death was umbilical cord strangulation 😭 and I just want to put my love and prayers to 1 mom from another ♥️, nessa ❤
Her wittle "it's ok" oh honey!! She's a gem!! That intro hurt my heart as a mom!!
I caught that little voice saying “it’s ok” and it touched my heart as well! Sweet little Penelope!
She putting on shows now like who does that in a Drs office
I do
I would
Lots of ppl
Wait until you find out about nurse tok…. 😌
I would do the same as Vanessa, let's not tell a person that they have to do things a certain way just because society says it isnt "normal" or because what you think is wrong just because you wouldnt behave the same... you are probably the type of person that follows trends and does everything you think would impress others and not be your authentic self.... geez.... herlife, her choice... don't like it, leave!
Hi Vanessa, glad you have such a beautiful little girl to help you through these sad days. ❤
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Apparently if a women presents with pre eclampsia the protocol is 35 weeks and above, immediate induction. this just blows my mind seriously. i would deff talk to a lawyer. cause the thing is is, what about the other mothers and babies that this doctor might see is he gonna screw up again and again? so it could help prevent more deaths. as for the doctors outsourcing of the ultrasound story that also is weird to me, let alone not keeping u in for monitoring. like why wouldnt he of just ordered the ultrasound to be done at the hospital in the first place when you were so acute. not sure i believe that story.
@@sophietrethewey373 Yep.
@heyvanessamartin exactly what I said !
Glad you posted I'm so sorry for your loss it is hard you just got to keep your head up and keep going even though it can be so overwhelming it's rough but I am infuriated at some of these comments how people can be so cruel it's sad people can be that miserable don't watch but I always love watching your video's just take it day by day and take care of yourself much love to you and Penelope ❤
Thank you ❤️
Hi Vanessa, I can't imagine how your feeling both emotionally and physically. I imagine its helpful to vlog and making content is helpful for the healing process. I love that you are doing what is best for you and your bravery in sharing your life during this tragedy is inspiring. ❤
Thank you so much ❤️
Some people will find fault no matter what. To begin with it was Vanessa getting pregnant while single, shopping at a food bank, having an amazon wish list, telling her daughter she loved her too much, talking in a baby voice to Penelope...and now the way she is dealing with her still born baby...even if she shows her grief she's attacked. She's psycho, on the spectrum, making money out of her traumatic experience..so she can't win no matter what she does.
100%
Love You Girl! ❤💐
I totally relate to fatigue with having chronic iron deficiency anemia- get iron infusions periodically- takes a few days to start feeling better❤
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, I can't imagine the pain you are going through, keeping you and your beautiful little girl in my prayers ❤🙏
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
There is nothing weird or unusual or inappropriate about Ms. Martins behavior. So quick are a few to throw in their 2 cents of negativity when they are paying nothing to observe someones reality and have the shield of the screen to spit their vitriol! Cowards they be.
Literally, all my nurses, Doctors, psychologists have all said to me that there is nothing wrong with the way I am grieving. I understand it affects others but that’s their decision to click on my videos or decide to subscribe or not. I’m sharing my raw and real life experience and that doesn’t mean every single detail. It is what it is.
Vanessa here is my prayer for you 🙏
Dear Heavenly Father I come before your throne of Grace I ask you to continue to give Vanessa your peace that passes all understanding, give her your strength and comfort, wrap her in your loving arms. May she feel your presence so strong surrounding her . Give her some extra Love as she deals with this great loss. In Jesus Mighty and Holy Name I pray Amen🙏 Love you my sweet sister in Christ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much ❤️
What hospital are you going too where you are what part of Canada 🇨🇦 do you live in I'm originally from Moncton New Brunswick but I'm now living in Toronto Ontario for over 20 years now since 2000
I’m in Kamloops, BC
@heyvanessamartin did you grow up there or did you move there from somewhere else just wondering that's all
@@heyvanessamartinplease be so careful about telling people on this public platform your location. You really don’t know who you are talking to in this day and age. You are so trusting I would hate to see anything happen to you . I don’t want to scare you. It’s just a caring word of advice ❤
You're doing so well taking care of Penelope through this loss ❤ Stay strong 🙏🏼 xx
❤️❤️
@@heyvanessamartinYou are doing a great job with Penelope. Seeing you cry a little bit is not going to hurt her, she probably won’t even remember this. But it will teach her empathy and to not be afraid to show emotions. Most of your time spent with her is cheerful. She is learning that people have all kinds of feelings and that is ok.
Penelope looked so cute in those little blue boots!! So much cuteness! I'm so happy that you two have each other. I think it's a great idea for you and your mom to get a place together! How perfect is that!? Something to definitely look forward to. Continuing to pray for you as you move forward into this year....
I'm heartbroken by all the mean comments that people are leaving due to not understanding your grieving process, and that's exactly what it is, YOUR grieving process. 💔💔I have never been through something like this, so I would never even begin to understand how it affects someone nor would I ever judge someone who is going through it for how they choose to cope with the situation especially when they are doing the best they can. I'm praying for you mama! I pray that you find peace and comfort in your circumstances and I pray that you see the goodness of God even when things are not good at all in this season of your life and may it always remind you that joy comes in the morning. Darkness does not last forever, storms do not last forever; joy comes in the morning! God bless you mama!❤❤
Thank you ❤️❤️
@jennawoytovich4388 we also need to remember we only see a very small part of the day. However she copes it is her journey and all we can do is support her not judge.
There’s a small club of them that have been leaving her hateful comments for a long time now. Since before the baby. But at this point it’s just became diabolical.
@@heyvanessamartin You are so welcome!❤
@@cathycarriere Literally, and we probably mainly see the better moments of each day! So yes, I agree we just need to be supportive in her time of need!😊
Oh heavens give the girl a break !
You keep doing whatever you want Vanessa
Penelope is just the cutest little girl bless her 🩷
The title is disturbing and blunt. The shot of the crib is upsetting. I know you wanted your baby, but you seem disconnected from what happened. If youre sad and just pretending to be ok for youtube thats not healthy in my opinion. Maybe take a break from these videos and try to work through all the emotions.
Or simply just dont watch?
@maayn I'm going to take that advice.
@@Cath49 Praise the lord, byebye 👋
@@maayn How Christian of you.
@@Cath49 Sorry to disappoint you but i'm not Christian.
Vanessa do u have ur family around u.god blessx
Yes
Vanessa, I love the Bible verses you have been sharing! I'm studying the Gospel of Mark right now. I went through John about 10 days ago. It helps us humans so much! I wanted to say that I believe God is going to bless you! Keep your focus on HIM and your beloved family! Lots of Love sweet lady! 💜
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
@@heyvanessamartin I hope you had a good day! I did :) Made some healthy cookies with dates. You make really healthy delicious meals! I have some Pavoi jewelry, and it is quite good quality with decent pricing! ❤
Penelope is so sweet when she said it's ok when you were crying
She’s the sweetest ❤️❤️
People making horrible comments to you but are still watching you is bewildering to me. Pay them no mind. You grieve how you want to grieve ❤this is your life. People who make bad comments usually don’t feel good about themselves. You are strong for not only you but for Penelope ❤
Thank you for understanding ❤️
@ no problem. Anytime. Being ridiculed for grieving is disgusting; shame on them. Because in all honesty everyone in life goes through grief and no one should be put down because of it.
@@rebeccaalexander5606the point being she’s not grieving
Sending love and prayers for you and both your girls. ❤🙏
❤️❤️
Leave Vanessa alone. If you haven't been in her shoes, you have no right to judge her. Penelope knew she was having a baby sister, now she's not. Its better Vanessa explained SOMETHING to her. As someone who has been where she is, lost someone crucial in my family at Penelope's age, AND deals with death daily as a career, I say Vanessa is doing great. 💛
Thank you ❤️❤️
Good afternoon Vanessa ❤ glad you’re on the road to recovery from everything. One day at a time. Here for you always from one native to another xoxo. I’m from the Mohawk nation south of Montreal.
Thank you ❤️ that’s so cool
Vanessa, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so thankful you're still alive. I know of a local woman that passed away from this at birth. Also, the negative comments come from people that are unhappy (underneath) & think they have to put others down to feel better. You keep doing you & what works for you sweet Momma. I lost my adult son a few years ago & I was pretty strong at first. I don't cry in front of others either. His little boys were more important than me and they needed comfort. Also, even though I've been taking an antidepressant for years, I really think the Lord held me together. I immersed myself in His word & KLOVE Radio to comfort me. Praying for you. Grandma Kim❤️
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
You are wrong, most of the people commenting on the over use of TH-cam to garner sympathy abandoned are not unhappy, they just don't like seeing the internet abuse of the viewers sympathies for profit. I'm sure every single one of us feel sympathy for her loss but do we want to be depressed every day with the videos that seem to be more about content than her loss? I don't think so. I am sure that it will take some time for her to recover from the loss, if ever but it is her loss and most of us will try to offer support and comfort for a while but enough is enough. Time to pray in private and ask the Lord for strength to get through this in private as well.
The bible tells us "when you pray, go into your closet and pray; do not do as the hypocrite that prays in the street". We are suppose to show our faith and testify for Jesus but that should be done by our actions not by verbal preaching.
So sorry for your loss, Vanessa ❤️ you’re a wonderful mom to Penelope and this is all normal. Ignore the hate, process how you need. Penelope is the sweetest. Much, much love from TO, Canada ❤️❤️❤️
I feel bad because there is no mention of support from friends, neighbors or work colleagues for her. They could help with a meal train, get groceries and bring them up to her apartment, take Penelope to and from daycare and just visit.
Maybe she does have that and did not share it.
It means a lot when people rally around for support.
Strangers on social media are not the same.
I have support from friends, family and coworkers. They’ve all reached out to me directly. I don’t want help from others besides family and I hope to eventually let more people in as the year goes on.
Take care of yourself, Vanessa! thanks for the upload❤
❤️❤️
In a couple of months she will be pregnant again , she needs the money 💰
I would love that!!!!
With all respect Vanessa, as a fan of your channel, i feel you would benefit from taking a wee break for yourself away from social media- youtube , what you have experienced is very traumatic and you need to recover away from comments and likes. Much love & respect to you ❤❤
Love from 🏴❤
I am a medium double double girly too! ❤ yum yum
❤️❤️
Im such a big supporter of you. Thanks for sharing your grief, your Bible verses, and your life with us. ❤❤❤ Try your best to ignore these haters. Let the first one without sin cast the first stone or whatever. 🙏🙏🙏 You are amazing, strong, and beautiful. I wish you and Penelope all the best!
Thank you ❤️
Oh my heart breaks for you. Your doing so great with how you are handling your own grief. Dont let others take this away from you. Im so sorry your going through this pain. Thoughts and prayers sent to you and your family ❤❤❤
❤️❤️❤️
Hello I think you are a little odd
Thank you
I think you are odd to comment that...
Aww Vanessa, it’s good to let those emotions out. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that we were concerned with how much you were holding in. You are so strong. One day at a time, vlog and journal and pray all that you need to ❤ take all the time in the world you need! I wish I could just give you a big hug, make you a meal, and just be there. Big hugs 🤗 to you girl. I just know that God has big plans for you, and one day you will complete your lovely little family. It’ll all make sense with time
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
It seems as though you should have someone staying with you for company and support. Perhaps your Mother is with you outside filming. I certainly hopes so. Also, early days, you look great and don’t need to worry about your weight.
Oh yes my mom comes over daily if not we go to her house. FaceTime with dad and sister daily. ❤️
@ So pleased to hear that. I felt someone should have been with you at the hospital. I imagine night times are the most difficult. From the uk
Very disturbing.
This is weird
How so?
@Maria-my8ns then keep your opinion to yourself and don’t watch it?
You're weird. 😅
A mother loving her babies is weird to you? With your miserable self. You need Jesus, sweetie.
This is raw grief. Be kind.
The situation is heartbreaking, I dont pretend to know what that feels like, its just some of this behavior comes across as very insensitive. Everyone grieves differently, but constant selfies and fussing about her weight gain is really disturbing after such a extreme loss
Everyone grieves differently. No but.
This is very weird
The beginning is heart wrenching.😢😢
❤️❤️❤️
I hope the iron infusions help you feel better soon.
Thank you ❤️
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad you are able to find small moments of joy right now. your grief is your own, and anyone who has anything negative to say, simply, doesn't understand true love ❤
Thank you ❤️
Hugs to you, Vanessa, you have a beautiful little girl who gives you strength
❤️❤️
Jesus has Pricilla , I have no doubt. She is in heaven getting the absolute best care a child can have. One day you will see her. My father in law lived with us and he and I talked a lot about heaven. I told him all about a book I read “ Heaven is for real “ by Colton Burpo. He was age 3 almost 4 when his appendix burst . Colton comes back after a near death experience. He was literally deceased several minutes. He told one story about his sister in heaven and how she played with him and that her hair is dark not like his sister in earth but that they look almost a like. Well. Colton Burpo was a toddler basically kind of becoming a little pre schooler. He had no idea his mother had a miscarriage. But Colton met her ! She’s waiting on her parents to join her one day in heaven. She doesn’t have a name yet because they didn’t name her. Colton said she’s waiting for their parents to get to heaven to name her. He told all kind of stuff he had no way of knowing about. HEAVEN IS FOR REAL ! They made a movie about him but the book is so much better. Please watch it , read it. I’ve read probably 50 books on NDE. And I believe that people sometimes go to heaven after death but are turned back because they are still needed on earth 🌍 I never understood why my father in law loved for me to tell him about Colton meeting his sister in heaven. Until we went through all of the paperwork in his home. There it was. His mother had a still born daughter. She is buried in Germany. There is a contract in the papers stating that her grave will be maintained for ever. My father in law was happy because he knew that he would finally meet his sister. I know of another amazing book about that. I’ll find the name and let you know. Fred loved that story too. It’s an incredible story!
I had an experience at age 5 and that is another reason I know heaven is real. Your little girl is in the best place. I know being on earth and with your mom & sister is wonderful but we must trust Jesus in knowing what is better. Maybe there was something he saved her from, this was so much better for her for all we know. But we must believe that. Jesus has our best interest at all times. And if a child is in trouble he’s there or he sends an Angel.
I was holding my 6 month old daughter in a plane crash in 1985, I mean no fuel , no landing gear at a closed airport due to Fog. No runway lights just Belly down. my wing hit first. I was jolted in every direction clinging to my tiny baby. I thought I was going to die that night. I had began to intercede over my daughter, praying she would survive. I heard prayers In Every language.
There were almost 300 of us on that flight. ✈️ I really want to write a book because the crash was not nearly the story, it’s so much more. Jesus was there. I have never felt so much love & joy as I did that night in knowing I was about to meet Jesus. I literally had no fear. Nothing on earth can compare to the pure joy and love of Jesus. And I had not died yet. Just imagine the absolute purest love and complete unconditional love that Jesus gave Pricilla as she was carried by the Angels. Because Angels do greet us as we go through the pearly gates. She was carry on street of pure gold. Can you imagine now the care she is receiving. And she knows you and her sister and all her family are sad but she doesn’t want you to feel sad . She’s safe ! She loves all of you. Time doesn’t exist in heaven so to her she will see you very soon. This is where faith comes in. It’s hard to have faith sometimes. But imagine the joy you will experience one day when you get to be with her . Live a full wonderful life here on earth and your little girl will be waiting on you. She’s not sad , she is happy because she knows you’re coming.
60, 70 , 80 years is nothing in heaven. You will pick up with her just like there was no separation.
JEREMIAH 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you , before you were born I set you
apart : I appointed you as a profit to all Nations.
Jesus/ Yeshua knew Pricilla before she was placed in your womb. That’s why Jesus is our first
love 💕. He loves us first. You don’t ever need to worry.
Your precious little girl is with our first love. She will want for nothing. Although she wants her mother And her sister to her it want be long at all before she is with you again.
2 Peter 3:8 But , Beloved, Be not ignorant of this one thing . That one day is with the Lord as 1000 years as 1 day.
God is not bound by days , no time exists to him or in heaven. Don’t wait or rush , feel no limits due to time. God knows the plan and purpose he has for you. ❤
Yes!!!! Thank you. Priscilla was taken straight to the very best place. That is the only reason I have a certain level of peace through this. I am grieving but I also am confident she is with Jesus and I will see her again. I can’t wait for that day ❤️
I think she going through some kind mental health problems
Who isn’t?
Hi Vanessa! I commented yesterday without reading all these negative comments. I worked labor and delivery for many years. Fetal demise was absolutely the most devastating part of my job. No women or families respond in the same way. It is a very unexpected outcome in a pregnancy. There is no preparing for such a heartbreaking outcome. Please ignore comments telling you how to feel or behave. Do whatever you need to do. The grief process is long and unpredictable. Like I said .. hold on tight and be kind to yourself. The memory box is a wonderful gift. When/if you r ready it is a blessing to have. We treated our babies with so much love while preparing the box. I promise you she was loved and respected by all that cared for her. Much love Venessa 🩷
@@karenknight9565 excellent professional comment. Coming from a labor and delivery nurse. You’ve undoubtedly been with families grieving, seeing a myriad of grief, it’s extremely subjective. This group of people posting on every video, with heartbreaking commentary, I can’t fathom doing that. I resonated with your comment, thank you.
Vanessa if you read this, please know my thoughts have been with you and Penelope. You’re a strong, smart woman, you live your life for God, laying your head on His shoulder will help while trusting His Plan. Take care, do self care, and know you have many people who care for you.❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️❤️❤️
Yall wanted to see her grieve so bad well there you go. Dont go complaining that she showed her emotions!!! Vanessa im here to be a true supporter and follower. The start of this one broke my whole heart for you! You are strong for yoir sweet pea,❤ you seem like such a wonderful and patient mother❤ keep on going❤
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
Lots of love being sent to you and Penelope, big hugs ❤ xx
I am so sorry ❤.
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Thanks for sharing Vanessa!!! ❤️
Thanks for watching ❤️❤️
@ keep rising above the negativity. Your supporters got your back!!
So sorry 😞 sending prayers and healing ❤️🩹
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Thinking of you, please take care of yourself and little sweetie Penelope❤️
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Praying for you friend! 🤍 beautiful prayer in the beginning 🥲
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In Canada, healthcare is free but it’s not the fastest and they do make mistakes. I had a spine MRI that showed lesions on my spine but the clinic forgot to send the results to my doctor and my doctor forgot to do a follow up. She told me if she doesnt reach out to me, it’s because the MRI was negative and everything was fine so I thought that’s what it was. But my neck pain kept getting worse and worse so I made an another appointment and that’s when we found out the mistakes. And now I need surgery on my freakin spine that I should have had one year and a half ago! It’s crazy. My doc said I could sue but I have yet to talk to a medical lawyer. It’s very frustrating, Im very empathetic towards your medical situation because the cost was your baby’s life! That’s not fair! 😢 ❤
Wow. So sad
Everyone grieves in their own way, but the titles and blood emoji could be very triggering to someone who also dealt with this situation. Tell your story, but please just be aware of others too ❤
I think people are responsible for their own triggers and themselves
Tey going on anti depressent pills to get the edge off hope this helps❤
screw that. I'd need xanax
Been on them for years
@heyvanessamartin did they ever work for you ?
@@cheryaltry5346 Yes absolutely they work. I’ve tried to come off slowly with my Doctor and it’s pretty wild how hard it was
I am seeing so many stupid comments. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I had three small children when my son passed away and there was simply no way for them NOT to see me grieve. Counseling is a great idea however these comments are WAY off and quite frankly sound so stupid. let your child see that feelings are real rather it be grief, anger, sadness....ect, You are raising her in the real world. Things don't always make mommy's happy. Be honest with her. You are doing the best you can so ignore these trolls.
100% thank you ❤️
I’m so very sorry 😢 ❤
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thank you for sharing these moments with us-I pray that you start to heal from the HELLP syndrome , your body has been through so much and you are a wonderful , caring mother to your little girl. God Bless
Vanessa, please this is becoming very concerning. Please get help if u are feeling overwhelmed and maybe your depression and meds need to be looked at for the severe amount of possible post partum depression you are presenting with .As well the are meds that can be add on meds if your depression meds are not working as well due to your body's trying to move it's way back to normal. I have had severe depression since I was 20 and it remains controlled with the highest dose of my antidepressants. I get it. But it does present that some of your words and title remain disturbing to others. Please get help or reach out for assistance from your physician or lines of communication offering u to speak to a counsellor regarding your depression. No hate no JUDGEMENT here but look after yourself 1st as Penelope needs you.god bless👱🏻♀️🩺🏩😷❤️❤️❤️🩺🩺🩺🩺🩺🙏🙏🙏🙏🏩
She removed the “dead baby” from the title and put up a new title. The “dead baby” title was very upsetting to me. Her videos are becoming more and more outrageous. The posing in front of the camera and showing her belly was not needed.
My title never changed and the “dead baby” is on the thumbnail of the video. Please don’t feel you need to watch my content if it upsets you.
A woman who went through a pregnancy, and whose body may have changed.....looking at her body and belly is realistic, authentic, and relevant to her situation. And ppl her age making duck lips is just what they do. It's not that serious that she squeezed her lower belly. It's her life, and her feelings that count. We are bystanders by choice. If you don't like it, don't watch.
Take care sweet lady love ❤️ hugs 🤗 from Scotland 🏴
Thank you ❤️❤️
Why do people have to be nasty she needs love so does her little girl sending healind prayers to them both .
😢😢😢
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Didn’t have the camera on? Because you couldn’t produce any fake tears.🙄that was so pathetic.. if people can’t see how fake that was there is something wrong with them.
Something wrong with you
Youre a nasty person
Like I do totally agree it’s very strange the lack of emotions
@@JustLee69 nope
Why do you have to be so mean. She lost her baby she can do and feel how she pleases. If you don’t like what’s posted then scroll on and no need to leave hate comments. Everyone grieves differently. Ignore the hate Vanessa ❤
Love you guys, take care each day Mama and Penelope :) ❤
Thank you ❤️❤️
Hi Vanessa. Good to see you.❤ That blue shirt is such a pretty color.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Those haters will get their karma.
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Vanessa,
I’m reading some of these comments and it is truly a shame to read these disrespectful, judgmental comments. This is how I view it:
I’ve been through difficult things in life (miscarriage, abusive relationships, bullying, parents divorce, family deaths with different causes, etc) and through each difficult phase I went through, I grieved differently. With my miscarriage, I felt angry, self destructive, and so much guilt. I turned all of these feelings inwards. I hated and blamed myself even for the smallest things. With my aunt’s death (died by suicide), I was in shock and only wanted to focus on the good memories I had with her. I couldn’t stand seeing anyone cry about her death. I didn’t want to cry in front of others. My whole point here is: grief is different for everyone. Sometimes the brain goes into overdrive and tries to forget about the trauma by keeping busy with other thoughts and things to do. This is all shocking and very new to you. Grief comes in stages. Also, you will have people along your grief journey that will say some questionable and insensitive things. These comments can be painful, I know. Focus on those that are supportive of you. I hope this helps.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel like I’m trying to block it out but I also do let myself feel the emotions in the night when I’m alone. It hurts so much. ❤️❤️❤️
@@heyvanessamartinabsolutely. During the day, we try to busy ourselves as much as possible to block out the pain. We are setting a shield up to protect ourselves. When my grandfather died when I was 10 years old, I actually became interested in how death was and how people grieve. It’s interesting how life works sometimes.
@@heyvanessamartinI get it. When my husband was going through cancer I would cry in the shower. I’d go through the motions of the day as normally as I could because I couldn’t control what was happening but I could control how I reacted. And that created a sense of normalcy that I needed to deal rationally with the situation and care for my family. So you do what gives you the strength to get through. I wish I could moderate and delete and block the negativity coming at you.
I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP TRYING TO TELL THIS WOMAN HOW TO LIVE HER LIFE AND WHAT DO AND HOW TO GRIEVE ETC. just because someones way of life does not match yours doesnt mean they have to change for you. Dont like it then dont watch it so simple.
I usually never comment on any videos! But the down right hate towards this woman! Who may i remind you is a mother, a daughter, and so many other titles! Now she is a mother who lost a child! Don't be so worried about her video titles or views or any of the other nonsense some of you have chosen to criticize her for! SHE LOST A CHILD!!! Nobody forces anyone to watch her channel! Where has people's compassion and sympathy gone these days?? Some of you should be ashamed of yourself!
Thank you ❤️
I find it bewildering that people are leaving comments on your 'odd behaviour' or the way in which you process and grieve what has happened, people deal with trauma in so many different ways, and on top of that trying to hold it all together and be a lone parent at the same time... Some people just have no idea and clearly no compassion.... I'm a single mother myself, so from one single mother to another - you are doing great Vanessa and don't let anyone have you believe different ❤ I will keep praying for you and your family and I wish you all nothing but the best in your grieving and healing journey 🙏🏻❤
Thank you so much for understanding ❤️❤️
I would never try to tell anyone how to deal with their grief! I understand the grief of losing loved ones but what I do not understand filming yourself at the lowest points in your life subsisting on you tube. It's one thing to let your viewers know what happened but to continue posting videos of crying and keep telling your child that the baby died over and over is just not right. For one thing some things should be private for another, the display of years and grief soon becomes a ploy for sympathy and is depressing to most viewers.
I don't mean to be a hater and I do sympathise with your loss but stop using it for content, that is actually dispicable. Also using the bible and faith as another ploy to garner attention is also being over done. When you overdo anything, it works against what it should be.
@ It hasn’t even been 2 weeks yet. I’ll continue to focus on healthy things as I navigate this. Watch or don’t that’s your choice.
@@mabelregimal5407 the baby did die. thats a fact. and the fact that vanessa is open about that with penelope is actually a beautiful and responsible thing. vanessa is telling penelope the truth. go and get a life.
@@mabelregimal5407 the only thing that is despicable here is your lack of empathy towards others, not everyone will react to something the way you would, just because you can't understand or relate to why someone chooses to act the way they do doesn't mean you have the right to be so rude and cruel to someone who is already going through something so hard. If you have such a problem with these videos go watch someone else who aligns more with what you want to see instead.