How to be Successful as an Introvert
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ส.ค. 2024
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My introversion is so advanced, I didn't notice we were in lockdown a few years ago, other than reading about it in the news.
Are you serious or joking? That would be extremely-advanced introversion.
@@LittleMew133 Half joking. Obviously I noticed stores and restaurants closed, and having to schedule my grocery shopping ahead of time with the store, but my day to day barely changed. I was WFH full time, and my hobbies are either solo activities or outdoors(language learning, music mixing, hiking/camping)
Yeah made no change in my social life. Cause i have none
haha!! I feel you. As an introvert too, lockdown made NO difference in my life other than of course, pandemic related changes, like wearing a mask, social distancing at stores, etc. People I know from school were crying and miserable about not being able to go out an socialize, but we introverts had it easy.
@@LittleMew133 same but living with parents when they don't understand or respect your energy is kinda hard
There's one thing that's very important for introverted people to achieve: ACCEPTANCE.
This video has been very informative as to not make it sound like that introversion is a bad thing. On the contrary, intoversion has - typically - some very nice traits coming along with it, like self-reflection, analysis and problem-solving skills. I have been introverted my whole life. I was always the cast-out in groups, be to myself often, etc... childhood issues confirmed, mostly. HOWEVER: I never minded (is that a word?). I just accept myself for who I am. When it's my best friends birthday (who's an extrovert), I will go there, for two hours or so, early when it's not too crowded - and then I'm out. I've done my social duty, he's happy and I didn't die. And in the professional field it is quite literally the same. I don't need to socialize a lot becuase my skill-sets speak for myself and my career path (also programmer, fyi) on paper raises enough questions for other people to lead conversations. Just recently I've joined a developing team of 10 people who - for the most part - are rather extroverted, at least compared to the average programmers. And even though I'm still new, I do NOT attend ALL company events. I go to the ones where we're with OUR team in activity-related events, but I skip the ones where we're just drinking/dining or where the whole company is present (u know, like xmas parties, summer fests, etc...). And THAT'S OK. While I was asked a question about this once by one co-worker, I explained it to him and he understands, no pressure.
Most introverts put more pressure on themselfes than society would ever dare to. It's just not needed. At this point in time people know about introversion and extroversion and they are generally more accepting of either. So if other people accept, accept yourself, too.
PS: love the caption "You're introverting wrong"
I explain why I don't like parties, I say I don't drink, I don't dance and music is too loud to have a conversation. People understand and the pressure to attend to events is lifted.
High-key wished I went the programming route, because business route needs a lot of networking and that's just not me really.
Hmm, now I wanna be a programmer and work remotely 💀
Agreed. Being a UX'er has been pretty challenging for my introverted self
Damn, your comment was really eye-opening for me. Thank you.
Oh my god, so hard as an introvert in a job that requires me having 20 meeting a day and talk to 564 people. Why did I do this to myself
Whoa, that's more than two meetings per hour!
Sounds excessive but it could be a good opportinuty to really build those social muscles
Try to change your job.
I had that probelm with my internship. Too many meetings, talking to people.
a psychologist once told me that introverts sometimes put themselves unconsciously in more social situations in order to learn how to behave in this kind of environment
One thing that doesn't help the introvert/extrovert conversation is the conflation of acting more outgoing with being more extroverted. As an introvert, when you choose to talk to people, you're not choosing to "become more extroverted"; you're just choosing to talk to people. I think using the two phrases interchangeably really muddies the waters.
There were a lot of good tips and a lot of actionable insights in the video though! Thanks Tina.
I think too many people conflate introversion with social anxiety.
Yeah. People don’t understand that.
Throughout my early schooling years I always had immense anxiety flare ups on my way to school.
I would always eat by myself and NEVER talk to anyone. When school was over and kids would be playing I would wait for my dad to pick me up by just walking around the entire school in a circle avoiding conversation not that anyone would try to talk to me - I had no friends.
When I became a teenager I would often eat lunch quickly somewhere alone then go sit in the bathroom by myself until the lunch period ended
I was the same. in our cases, our environment was a significant factor too
My ex-boyfriend is an extroverted and he just goes to places and meets people easily without a reason.. He couldn't understand why it doesn't work for me. Actually he couldn't understand me at all. I am an introverted person, I can't go anywhere without at least minimally planning it first, it's not easy for me to randomly speak to people, normally I need to have a purpose to even speak to someone... I can't grasp crowds very well, and I have always tried to be myself instead of going with the crowd, mostly because I don't feel comfortable in it and I don't understand people's group motivations. He does grasps crowds easily even when there's no ideas in his head, he just feels were people are headed easily without even trying and goes with it without questioning. It's very different to be an extrovert or introvert.. I wish that would be more understood in our society. Extroverts are more chilled around people, are better party makers, are better at easing people and are good at understanding people's momentary motivations and desires.. Introverts are more goal oriented people, are more perfectionists, more sensitive to the environment and to their feelings and to other people's feelings, they are better at observing details but also the whole picture of a situation. So it is a very different mindset, I wish I would know this when I was younger...
She described my whole childhood in one video... 😭Schools don't really show you how to play to your strengths.
Nope.
I never thought about working remote for a country whose culture values introversion more, great idea
Pls- i am so bad at small talk that i always end up having to overshare just to keep the convo going and not make it awkward. Thanks for this video, Tina! You're always realistic with your content (and also relatable)!
I tried becoming extroverted and got PTSD from the ringing of my phone, because it would not. stop. ringing. I HATED people trying to contact me all hours of the day and even worse, I had to spend an hour almost. every. day. calling people up and talking to them. I HATED it.
I'm an artist and the year I had to do all that bullshit, my art suffered because I was to anxious to even make art. That experience has solidified the decision to NOT use my phone in my art business. People aren't considerate of time now that a cell phone gives you access to someone 24/7 and I REFUSE to entertain anyone but family and a select few people calling me before 10 am and past 6 pm. I can't do that again. Fuck that.
I’m so glad you addressed that being an introvert is not wrong! I can’t tell you how much I despise the stigma surrounding being an introvert.
I’m glad to see you back at it again, missed the Tina humor these past couple of days lol 🎉🎉
Being personable and charismatic isn't exclusive to extroverts. Everyone needs to practise it.
Reading Quiet helped me a ton. Not so much for understanding myself, but how to deal with extroverts. The tips and advice in your video are solid for understanding oneself, but we have to deal with those extroverts. Learning how is equally as important.
Im reading it right now. Quite good 👍
Have you watched her Ted talk?
@@rashedulkabir6227 Have you? Can you share the info and your thoughts?
@@LittleMew133 yeah, It was good.
40 year old here in a support job. this video changed me. often find myself not being a fit in the role where everyone is taking a lot to everyone else. spent almost a decade. i realize my time is well spent in more of developer job. thanks tina. always learn something from your videos.
Nice video! I'm a musician and consider myself an introvert. I can talk to crowds and sing in front of them, and as soon as I finish playing or take a break, I hide from people. One person told me once that I was a fake introvert because of playing in front of people. Found a work from home job, which I love! Keep up Tina with your amazing videos, you encourage people!
what job did u find?
"You don't have to actually know more to be a leader."
One look at our current politicians should have made that painfully obvious
LOL v true
i relate SO much . i'm starting a new job in a new field next week and have been googling "how to make eye contact" "how to politely ask for help" LOLOL . i'm nervous because the firm i'm working at seems like a place full of extroverts and they do a lot of social events :/ i can understand why some companies/types of work make u do a lot of social activities but oftentimes it feels so forced and like they're just trying to copy corporate fads ughhhhh for no reason . thanks for making this vid, it's really helpful to see someone as intelligent and accomplished as to have dealt with these things !!!
I can relate so much! Good luck with your new job!
@@clemensmueller3884 thank you so much !! :-)
12:00 with remote work being so prevalent now, remote work is really good for introverts now because it allows you to have so much control over the stimulation around you the environment and set when your times are..
Oh girl Tina! You feel me. You literally spoke every single thing which I’m facing at my current workplace rn! Work from office almost looks like a horror show to me and being called out as an introvert feels like a curse word.
But yeah, I’m not alone and you just made it clear how we can turn in into our advantage! Thanks girl!
Thanks! It's a big relief that wishing for a remote job as an introvert is ok. In a way (please don't get me wrong) the pandemic was a blessing.
I love WFH. Get rid of all the awkward water-cooler interactions that a desperate extrovert coworker forced upon me.
@@LittleMew133 exactly.
I really like to watch Tina’s content because I can relate a lot of life experiences through her videos, compared to some youtubers that brand themselves as successful, highly productive and always motivated persons. Tina’s way to present the point of views is professional and she is a good presenter. What I like the most about her content is that she shares her insecurity and lack of motivation moments, and show the audience how she overcomes the struggle she faced in daily lives. She is a person I look up to and want to learn from.
I couldn't agree more Ruz Zz. In showing her vulnerabilities, Tina gives people the confidence to push past their own insecurities. She does that for me.
They put me to say the opening words for a play there was 200 students. Being an introvert I've put a lot of well just to stand there and do this and I was so focused on reading didnt raised my head from the paper and didnt move for 5 min, and then when i was done i realized the teacher was telling me the whole time that the mic was turned off but i couldn't hear him cause i was so focused that i got detached from reality by then my soul was already dead and everybody was laughing , he asked me to turn it on and i had to read all that opening again while being emotionally damaged.
I understand you, I'm trying to recover with the emotional damage i had from public speech classes and similar cringe situstions i was by far the worst student lol laughing so that i don't cry
😅😅
@@wiwisjxkalnz Ikr but I promise you that time takes the cringe off of it and only leaves the humor.
Sorry my guy but that is quite hilarious tho
@@TheNinjatsu Being an introvert sure doesn't help but I myself would lean more to the extrovert side and I can tell you that I also don't like making a fool out of myself in front of a large group of people and I don't like speaking in front of crowds anyway so I would be scared shitless too lol.
OMG the cases in this video is so relatable to me. I remember I used to look at my introversion as a character flaw. Now I just enjoy being lonely and hangout with myself. I lacked acceptance of my introversion then…
Shout-out to all introverts/extraverts all around the world:
Just Accept yourself as who you are!
Yeah, it may sound too cliché however it works in the way of better life😚
Hahahhaa i'm an introvert and about to start data science career. Thank youu. This motivates me. ❤️
I think I developed a certain anxiety because of the internship I had. Up to this day I feel anxious everytime I hear the notification sound of Discord. Even though my internship ended some months ago. Don't know why. But I didn't like the environment in the company, too loud. Too many people talking at the same time. I would reduce my launch time so I could work more because it was the only moment I were alone (in the days I would work in the offcie). The discord part is beacuse it was the communication channel for working realted stuff when I was working at home.
Still can't bring myself to go back to teaching after my past experience. The thought of going into a classroom still gives me anxiety.
Please consider doing a video on practical ‘step-by-step’ guidance on how to present your findings as a data professional. For example, for every presentation I must lead, I ask myself these questions, I am sure not to overlook these steps, I make sure I know XYZ about the data, etc. I struggle with preparing for meetings with C-Suite. I always wonder, “What, exactly, should I say to them?”. Real world examples are always helpful. Thank you so much for your work.
this reminds me of myself so much. I'm trying to be more extroverted because networking is so crucial for career and personal development, especially after a certain age. The worst thing I've done was when I'd see an acquaintance from afar and instead of saying hi I'd make a detour or pretend I didnt' see them.
I started watching your channel few days ago because I was interested in exploring the career path of a data analyst and eventually be a data scientist like you.. I thought I'll just watch one or two just to get some good information on how I should navigate my way to my new career, but I really enjoyed hearing and watching you! Keep doing what you are doing! Just subscribed!
Thank you for making this video! I'm an introvert who's interested in a career in data analytics and I've been looking at the 365 Data Science course. This video touched on so many topics that I've been looking in to. The study about introverts/extroverts and their levels of reactivity is fascinating. (Side note: 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron, while not directly about introversion, is an interesting read) Also, your kitty is adorable.
People say the dumbest things about introversion sometimes. I am working on my divemaster qualification and someone asked me how I can talk to people about diving if I'm am introvert.
All I could think to say is "It's not like I'm a mute."
Just say "with telepathy".
I'm an introvert and I just realised I've been taking some of the steps you've talked about in my work without knowing it ;-D But this really helped me to not feel bad about my choices!
As an introvert, i try to make a point by making other people speak for me. I.E., i am making a point and will ask for another person to share a short sentence. Makes you seem like a considerate leader and delegator.
I love your videos, there’s always something from you that pops up in my timeline exactly when I need to hear it !
so helpful!! i’m very introverted, and i’ve struggled to know what direction i should take my career. my current job is not difficult technically, but it can be highly-interactive which is exhausting for me. i need work that has some interaction, but mostly solo work. this video was so helpful to give me criteria for my next position and general career direcgion! thank you!
Well this explains a lot, when I was a baby my mum said I was the worst cryer, and I was so sensitive to touch and sound that even at the age of eleven on my birthday I burst into tears when a balloon popped near me. Now as a teen, I’m very overwhelmed all the time at school, because there’s so many people and sometimes I try neutralise my anxiety with ear plugs so I can half pretend that I’m not in a room with people. It probably looks like I just hate everyone, but I don’t, i love my friends, i just can’t be surrounded by so many people that I don’t know for that long lol.
Hello Tina.I have been your follower for 1 years.Your videos really helped me.Now I became a data scientist at a bank.You helped me go through depression and lowest point of life.
Hello Tina, this is exactly the video I needed at this point of time, I about to start the corporate culture and am shuffling about trying to get to know more about my strengths and weaknesses to improve and utilise this video has plenty of info about the same ❤
Are you going to start your career as a software engineer?
I've been thinking the same thing. I definitely do enjoy going much deeper and tackly obstacles. Most other people rather just do surface stuff and make work-around stuff in obstacles.
It is really informative video! I’d say from my personal experience that I used to be extroverted person but for so many factors I feel I’m more leaning towards introversion for few years now. I think that trying to change yourself to fit in isn’t helpful at all. It is more of understanding ourselves and being able to choose what you can accept in your life and what you can’t.
Man.That's so relatable.Seems like my own life.
I just found your Channel and let me tell you, i feel like I've found my lost sister. I couldnt relate more to the described situations, and besides that your productivity videos are great, and you just seems so genuine ❤
it took me years before I stopped beating myself up for being an introvert.
Another important thing to mention is that you do not need to tell yourself I am introverted all the time because no one is 100% extroverted or introverted. It also depends on the situation a lot too.
Good points! It is interesting how extroversion is usually seen as positive while introversion as negative.
There are advantages and disadvantages in both traits but introverts usually punish themselves more often for the disadvantages and tend to disregard the positive aspects. And of course do not push too much yourself to be something you are not! 😄
Carlos.-
Perfect!!!!!!!
I relate to the part going to the bathroom before interviews. I feel you.
I'm a software engineer and it's hard for me to count how much times i was in office since 2020. Four maybe?
I'm sure that ability to not spend my time and energy going to work and smalltalk with ppl heavily improves my ability to solve problems.
If i have things to do - i can spend many hours doing it with almost no interruptions, and if i have not - this time would be killed anyway.
i wanna add because it wasnt really talked about. but the original definitions of intro and extra version when it was originally coined as terms was referring to how people take in and process their environment. it wasnt necessarily a term for how sociable someone is! of course, these words are free to take on their new meanings too as its a great way to distinguish that quality. but its mostly a means of how people tend to perceive the world around them as well! introverts prefer introspection and taking in observations of their environment while extraverts tend to assert their action and expression in interpreting their environment.
i am a pretty sociable introvert. i love to meet new people and learn about them, but i do have my limits and get drained. im not feigning it when i am enthusiastic/talkative/assertive with people. which makes me come off as "ambiverted" and like you said, there are different contexts and all. i think being introverted is great! not to be ashamed of and never once thought it would hinder my success, i've been told im very observant and intuitive and i think that's great qualities of being an introvert.
Tina I love content like this -- it is also funny yet informative at the same time!
Thank you for these tips, Tina! These would help me, as you said, take advantage of my traits as an introvert 🏞
Much love to you, Tina! ❤️
It'll become good again! 🌸
What can really guide you through is the power of ambition!
I like your video👍
I'm an ambivert, I totally enjoy settings where the group of people is small (10 or less) I like to share knowledge, specially in meetings with a few people. When I'm in larger groups I inmediately became quiet, it's like when there's no extroverts I became one, but if there's one, I tend more to listen than speak.
gosh totally relate. I know I’m awkward and self conscious but rly couldn’t stop thinking abt it. I laughed so hard at the orientation part cuz I went to my master cohorts orientation and a drink, and that was litro it. Nothing about the ppl tho, they are nice. I’m just judging myself so hard and rly don’t want to be in a situation with more than four ppl that I don’t know very well😢
That guy is so stupid 😃 don't take his words.
Very insightful. I also think the distinction is super important
The stronger fight or flight response in introverts this makes so much sense it's kinda mind blowing
But at the same time it makes me feel supirior from an evolutionary standpoint
That's what I was thinking. lol
girl! All those things you did I used to do too 😭 life is hard out here for us introverts
Finland is a great country for extremely introverts too
Finland prime minister is extroverted.
@@rashedulkabir6227 introverts party too
The most introverted thing I've seen is (not me) someone take an hour train ride to a gathering, walk inside, immediately decide there was too much energy in the room and go back home
I enjoy your videos so much. It is great not to feel so alone. :)
I agree, you seem a very shy person, and it is the major obstacle. How to get over that? Try to talk to strangers, it is very difficult at beginning, but than you do more that, then easier it becomes.
networking still strikes me as "making connections as means to an end". haven't found an explanation to improve my comfort with the word so far
I can relate to that really hard... it's litterally some of the worst experiences i've had in my life
I agreeeee!! I am always sitting in silence next to people at tables :(
I think the statistics about the top execs are mostly (60%) extraverts are not exactly correct. Many well-known execs I can think of at the top of my head are all introverts. At SOME points in time, they may ACT more out-going but that doesn't change the fact that they probably prefer solitude over large crowds most of the time.
I love your cat, always looking for camera angle 😄
Always love your new videos! Gotta keep grinding haha, Can't wait for your future content!
Yeah, omg! "Ok, let's pair up!?", "Hey everyone, I want everyone to come on up and tell me about yourself..."
I adapted... however still dread that stuff.
Thank you this is so helpful :) so well structured and very informative
How do you survive interviews as an introvert?
I am currently working as a Data Scientist at a startup that is running out of money. I already had 20+ interviews the last months. For many of them I was qualified, however is still didn't get any offer. I really feel like, i cannot live up to expectations of an interview, although I try to compensate as much as I can. But at least for german business culture I don't seem like a fit. Your thoughts about east asia business culture made me think. Maybe that would work out better for me...
that experiment makes so much sense!!! i was always told that i screamed ALL of the time as a baby and i have a rather quiet although slightly less introverted friend who almost as loud. I'm such an antisocial introvert now...
You are a very intelligent young woman! Very wise beyond your years.
Thanks Tina ... the first step is self acceptance to not drag yourself into an overstimulated environment which simply doesn't suit you and will make you feel burned out
Great video. Based on some research I've done, there is extreme overlap between introversion and mild ASD to the point where they might really be the same thing. You mentioned practicing eye contact and facial expressions, overstimulation, and the genetic component. I think that people with ASD commonly develop social anxiety due to the inability to relate to others naturally starting from a young age. Society changes labels over time and what was once a personality trait is now sometimes being called a disorder but it has been working the same way forever.
everyone wants to be aspie
Everything makes sense 😭 when I was a child I would cry a lotttt and was very clingy. But I’m the opposite now; an introvert who hides their emotion. Vice-versa goes to my older sister, when she was born she didn’t cry. She was a very quiet and obedient child. But now she’s extroverted and talks a lottt. My family wonders why we turned out this way, ig the answer is stimulation sensitivity.
Another thing, when we play kahoot in class I almost never win; it’s always the extroverts. I get pressured during the countdown and second guess myself. But when exam time comes, I place first 😅😅
Well if you want to know why it’s because you cried a lot and your parents ignored it so you learned subconsciously that letting out our emotions was bad. Your sister obviously never really cried to begin with so she never was conditioned into hiding her emotions. This isn’t bullshit pseudoscience either it’s how early attachment styles are formed.
I love your personality! much love to you
Thank you so much for your videos! I was wheezing at the “America is an extroverted country” clip😂😂
So relatable. Glad to know I'm not the only one but also sorry for all of us guys 😂
Who ever saw the thumbnail… you are not wrong the way you are. You are not introverting wrong or anything. It’s best to be nothing BUT yourself. Don’t listen to ppl who make you feel uncomfortable to be yourself.
So helpful 🤩🙏🏽 thank you!
I get overwhelmed when am around many people for a long time and at home they think am moody but honestly I enjoy my own company I don't mean to offend people it's just me.
My first and probably the last prom experience: college freshman year, Christmas. I was dragged to the event and decided to just stand in the corner, right before the trash cans where my high school classmate was volunteering as a helper there. Next thing I knew I was collecting bottles from wasted men and women.
Imagine being an introvert working in the hospitality industry. :|
Honestly, it was fine, my soft skills are definitely 11/10. You really learn how to "turn on the switch", but also gain tougher skin. Thankfully I moved out of Operations into more introverted-like roles like Business Support, Finance, Revenue, and now a Corporate Business Analyst. I found the best communications skills are:
1. Debating
2. Explaining
3. Presenting
4. Soft Skills
I really do have superb soft skills, I'm a strong presenter, however I definitely lack the ability to explain on-and-on. Like imagine doing a Zoom call with 20 people, and I'm the only one talking for the entire time... it's like presenting but for longer. I learned not to say If you have any questions let me know throughout the call VERSUS "Any questions?" waits in 10 seconds of awkward silence as you hear a baby or dog bark. I dislike that.
Debating is definitely the highest communication skill you can acquire. I understand why speech and debate is important, and why lawyers are the way they are. Also by debate, I don't mean the ability to argue, but to really ask questions that challenge the business processes and you can go into a back and forth on use cases, if cases, and scenario cases. Usually us introverts will listen, learn, absorb, rather than contribute.
BUT contributing = visibility which is important for any type of review, assessment, and impact being felt. (Also depends on your position, this may not matter at all.)
Would love to hear your inputs on how to finish and keep working on big lengthy projects, creative projects and personal projects.
For few very talented people, being introverted could help them to be very focus to do what they want.
i have noticed that extroverted people are more loved by other people like i have an extroverted friend that adopted me(not really) and like when there is girls they always like talk to him and laugh and stuff, but the only time i talked to a girl is when she told me im weird because i never talk
Presenting information, networking, and mentorship and promotion.
Honestly, your videos are so damn helpful 🙏
Thank you so much for this video ♥♥♥♥
I have done the bathroom thing like a lot
hi tina! i was wondering if i could get some advice from you: im struggling to choose whether to do a-levels (academic route) or a vocational course (more practical). i’ve always done pretty well academically, and a-levels would widen my options for the future since im not 100% sure what i want to do yet. however, a-levels are significantly harder academic-wise. a vocational course would be a change in learning environment and more focused on the creative industry (the only field that has sparked my interest so far). however, it narrows down my options for the future since the course only focuses on one field. im not expecting you to choose for me, but if you could justify which one sounds like the better option in your eyes, that would be so much appreciated!! :)
Being introverted can be a huge advantage
Her cat: I agree! 2:17
Okay that experiment with babies is so accurate! I was a loud baby and now I have responding to texts😭
I always try to put on a “charismatic” personality when I have to do presentations. It’s working but also exhausting
I knew it
I suck at being introvert
The financial part of extrovert making more money than introvert, that's always not the case. It can be the opposite as well. Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Michael Dell...in fact most introverts are richer than the extroverts. Dan Pena said it himself who is a trillionaire and is a introvert as well.
Bill Gates did not say that he is an introvert.
Ok but can we really talk about the difference/distinction between being introverted and having social anxiety? I think you can embrace things about being introverted but having social anxiety is more of a big problem. Does being introverted necessarily imply that you’ll likely have social anxiety? Also, I’ve never met an extrovert who dealt with this.
For example, this year I was hyping myself up to go to my company’s annual Christmas party. None of the coworkers I knew were there and I am also a very young female employee working in finance. I got all the way to the restaurant but when I realized that my company had booked a private room for the event my sense of dread compounded and I literally turned around and went home. So yeah… social anxiety has sometimes been debilitating for my professional life.
I chose to work in a call center…less interaction with people. Also got tired of people telling me to smile when I’m actually cringing when the next person in line came up to the register. Forcing myself to interact with people made me miserable. I hid at home to recharge for the next day. I hate the reason that caused “remote” work but it was a God send for me. I know how to be social able but the stress of a crowd puts me on edge.
Lol Orientations are hell🔥
please make more videos like this