magic items that completely backfired
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0:00 USELESS Magic items
0:25 Sorcerers, man...
0:43 Blank Character sheets
1:07 Drinking age
1:22 Dwelf
2:07 Vicious Mockery
2:38 DragonHeir: Silent Gods
3:41 Faulty magic items
5:00 6yo DM
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The bagpipes of invisibility have an obvious fix. Just have them stop working when the players cast silence. When they ask why, "You're invisible to anything that can hear the bagpipes."
well now you have the bagpipes of the false hydra 😐
@@creativeusername5535 "When you examine the bagpipes more closely, the bag is pale leather that's been dyed in the bright patterns you see, and the pipes are carved from the bones of some great beast."
Even better if the pipes are carved like the heads of a hydra!
@@AtrusOranis Ooohhh, I like _that._ Yes, I think we have an excellent item here with these tweaks.
*Bagpipes of the False Hydra:* The drone of this set of pipes is carved in the image of a disquietingly smooth-headed hydra, bone-pale skin and obsidian cabochons for eyes certainly make for a distinctive appearance. _A bard who lost their whole party to a False Hydra comissioned these pipes from its remains when it was finally vanquished. If you listen carefully, you can hear the faint echoes of a dirge in the notes, regardless of what melody the current piper might be playing._
*Game Effect:* While playing these pipes, anyone who succeeds at an auditory perception roll to detect you, automatically fails all visual perception rolls to locate you. The False Hydra's ability to make listeners ignore its cries is beyond the powers of this item, so they still know you're present, they simply don't know your exact location.
Silence the bagpipes of invisibility, and get a second set of normal bagpipes that you can have one of your other players play while running around the place as a distraction.
You said "can hear bagpipes", you never said it had to be the bagpipes of invisibility.
Then again, if I was a DM, I'd put an area limit to it - the bagpipes of invisibility ALSO have to be able to hear the other set of bagpipes. The soul residing in it/God who blessed it/sorcerer who enchanted it was a trickster, and so they put in a loophole that was somewhat obvious (to them), only for it to turn into a still very limited loophole - you get rewarded for the trick, but they still trick you.
The dagger of paranoia:
It is a normal +1 dagger, but when picked up, the word "Doom" appears on the blade. The DM is then given free reign to ask periodically if the player is using/carrying the dagger of paranoia, ask if they're sure, and then roll some random dice.
If discarded, the dagger returns in a day.
Y e e s let the mindgames floww
For clarity, the Dagger of Paranoia is actually quite unremarkable in every aspect, other than the fact that it somehow always comes back in a day of being discarded and reads "Doom". It simply gives the holder a constant feeling of unease and that's it.
Cause of death?
Dooooom!
....They have stab wounds!
*hides dagger behind back* Doooom!
I
LOVE
THIS
It’s origin is it’s a common novelty toy for wizards.
The bow that shoots when you're blackout drunk is a sacred treasure of the Dwarven people
Not because of the bow, mind you, but the fact it's located near some booze that would actually make a (real - I have to add this in since they're looking over my shoulder) Dwarf wobbly.
Well I would say a Dwelf could use it pretty good huh?
It gives major Venti energy and I love that
"I don't have a clue how they accomplished it, but the fucking dwarves turn the bow into a life-seeking missile launcher." -prominent knife-eared philosopher.
The Bow of Rai Cho!
Those cultists fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never hire Adventurers to do a job discretely," but only slightly less well-known is "Never let a captured Bard speak!"
*discreetly, meaning in secret or without disclosing to anyone else. Discretely is closer to exactly, or in a measured manner.
But yes, it's a pretty common trope in fantasy that if you capture someone who casts speech-based spells, you never EVER take their gag off lol
another is "never let the bard talk to the dragon". As soon as I heard it was a bard in the story, my first thought was "he's gonna seduce it, isn't he?"
classes you should never let speak: bard, rogue, sorcerer, warlock, wizard(wizards tend to run diplomacy due to high intelligence but not always, so you could pretty much barter your way out of a situation XD). I think there was at least one more but I do not remember.
I thought the most famous was "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known was: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!
@@rifflerunderhill7006 I was giving the Dnd version.
*Player:* But I'm wearing a Ring of Jumping!
*DM:* It isn't a Ring of _Landing~_
...Kid ain't wrong...
Flashbacks to the scrolls of Icarian Flight.
it's true as well. the jumping skill or athletics or whatever it's called only partially reduces fall damage, so if you're up high, you're still taking damage XD
Order Of The Stick
@@nathanielbass771 Indeed, if you want to jump you had best go with monk or invest in ring of feather falling to go with your ring of jumping, sure that uses two of your slots (gag, I fucking hate how few magic item slots you have in 5e) but you won't take fall damage, that or get access to first level spell slots and make sure you save one for feather fall, at least it isn't concentration. Other options with a more lenient GM is to make some sort of easily carried and deployed glider so when you are up high you just take that out before jumping and as long as there is enough room to glide you are good.
@@ShiningDarknes and feather fall is a very specific spell too compared to something like mage armor. It'd probably be easier to go on a quest to buy a level one item, a wand or ANYTHING of featherfall, than it would be to splash a multi-class just for that spell XD not to mention you have to make up various reasons to fit the lore of your character (ex, wizards aren't just born overnight, you'd have to find a spell-book or study for years) and then even if you do splash, you have to meet the class's casting requirements (no negative intelligence wizard orc XD )
Oh no, not the faulty magic items, like the shield of fire protection, just a sprinkler with a handle
I mean... I'll take it
How about a rod of fish caching: just a normal fishing rod but the string is invisible
@@xcreepercrafterx8016 invisible string by itself is great for traps and stealth stealing. I can't say it's faulty :D
@@dexteritymaster Maybe anything hooked on it becomes invisible
hey but Shape Water tho
Ring of Miner Invisibility. Everybody thinks it's Minor Invisibility, but it only turns you invisible if you are carrying stones and ore.
_Don't_ give that to Kobolds!
@@aralornwolf3140 GIMIE IT!
not to be confused with the other ring of minor invisibility, you are only invisiable as long as you are under 18
@@cymikgaming1266 not to be confused with minor invisibility were you're only invisible to children
@@user-sh5qw8hq5mor the one that makes all creatures under the age of 18 invisible to the wearer.
Vicious Mockery is one of my all-time favorite spells, for the sheer meme-ery of it.
Bard: "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!":
Rampaging Orc Warlord: * Fucking Dies *
*turns to army* “Now go or I shall taunt you a second time”
My friend play a bard that just wizard with a MLG sunglasses and a big gold chain of SWAG
And he literally deleted a evil warlock by saying "You cring bro!"
My disney princess parody bard told all the demons/devils in the nine hells how adorable/kind they were.
I fart in your general direction!
I blow my nose at you, you wipers of other people's bottoms!
I once saw this hilarious video about this stupid item,
The DM at the beginning of the game gives the players a magical sword that one shots any enemy, or so they thought.
What it actually did is send the enemy to the final dungeon battle.
That IS unironically a Very interesting Idea to put It in the game
I think Johny razer had that idea
Wouldn't it end up having the enemies kill each other?
@@thalaseamyst3934 that’s up to the DM really
@@Ttkwyt true on that but since when do the enemies have a single faction. Not to mention feral creatures. Please do note I didn't play DnD but I had fun listening to stories.
A Dwelf walks into a tavern and the barkeep just fucking quits on the spot
they would run out of liquor
I think for a flask of infinite liquor.
@@cymikgaming1266but wait, if they're a combination of the worst traits of elfs and dwarves (and elves are known for not being that much of a drinking race) they'd pass out after one beer.
@@mishagaming1075 A hard alcoholic who can't stomach any beer 💀
@@leo-haotoo little alcohol in beer. I wonder what can be done with a character that has a minimum alcohol content on all ingested drinks, othervise they pass out.
Speaking of faulty magic items, in Baldur’s Gate 3 there’s a pair of boots that will electrify any puddle you step in, but it doesn’t protect you from taking damage from standing on electrified surfaces.
Oddly enough, you can find a ring that makes you resistant to lightning damage, and makes it so you can't get electrocuted. There's also a whole host of items that basically grant buffs whenever you get charged up with electricity--In addition to the attack and damage bonus you would get from having charges. For a while, I used a robe that gave defensive bonuses, a circlet that gave extra hit points, and a staff that granted extra charges.
@@AyeNeNAy I know, I made a whole build around it.
@@GusCraft460 thats absolutely perfect, making a build out of what i assume is a joke object
I love those boots. Playing with a group, they made me wear them cause they thought it'd be funny. It's been funny for me, not for them. They are very weary of puddles now xD
@@KIxYOSHI2077 fun fact, lightning chromatic orb creates puddles and electrifies them.
I was in a dnd game and the normal wizard in our party (we call him normal wizard because he claims to be normal) received a magical contract by a powerful wizard and signing it will grant you power at the cost of his soul.
The powerful wizard - "You are destined to sign this contract and become ME!"
the normal wizard *rips up the contact*
Until the paper reconstructed itself
powerful wizard - "YOU ARE DESTINED TO SIGN THIS CONTRACT".
normal wizard - "omg! how did it do that?"
powerful wizard "because its your destiny".
normal wizard then - "Can I do that if I sign?"
Powerful wizard - "well...no, its just the contract that does that"
Normal wizard - "oh, how did you make it then?"
Powerful wizard - "Destiny made it, it was destined that you will sign and the will of the world states you will sign this".
Normal wizard - "So if I create a contract myself that someone was destined to sign, it will become indestructible paper?"
Powerful wizard - "Er.. wait... no... This isn't supposed to be the area you focus on, its the contract itself!"
Normal wizard - "So for some reason I tear it up and sometimes its instant and other times its not, why is that?"
Powerful wizard - "In order to correct the mistake that led you astray from signing, no one must see it".
Normal wizard - "So what your telling me is it only reconstructs itself if no one sees it?"
Powerful wizard - "Correct"
Normal wizard - "So its an auto detection device that allows me to know if ANYONE is watching me when it comes to any divination spell or eyesight?"
Powerful wizard - "errrr I guess?"
Normal wizard - "Neat" *walks away not signing*
Powerfull Wizard:wait a minute How did this happen we are smarter than this
The Will of the worlds:apparently not
The flail made of aloe will just hurt but you will never die... there are uses for things like that. Like getting people to talk.
"Where is the secret entrance located?!"
"I aint snitchin"
*Gets whacked by aloe flail*
"Jokes on you, I don't care if I die!"
"Oh, you ain't dying. You're just gonna get hurt many, many times."
There's a rule anyone in a fantasy world should stick by "Never piss of a healer"
Also it would really burn the undead. I mean it deals damage and it deals more damage.
@@andrewengnell6004 That was probably the intended purpose. A flail of undead-whacking. Double damage to undead.
hurting but never dying is great for the other type of dungeon master
Staff of Minor Wound: a long staff of smooth wood, capped with a knot of gnarled thorns. Exposed skin that comes into contact with the top of the staff takes 1d4 piercing damage.
Also known as a pointy stick.
Brick of greater concussion: It's a brick that gives people a concussion if you throw it at their head
@@lucykitsune4619 Hey, guaranteed concussion no matter the strength is pretty good!
Druids with Shillelagh be like:
@@lucykitsune4619featured in the Percy Jackson series, excellent against people who can fly.
I had a player defeat an army with a bag of infinite marbles.
When the evil army started to siege the city, instead of fighting them off the walls, he retreated to the castle keep. On his way he successfully damaged the buildings around him without collapsing them.
Upon reaching the keep, he simply waited for the army to approach and launched his infinite marbles at the enemy. Roll for effectiveness. Nat 20
Entire army slips and when the trolls go to grab something as they fall, they grab the unstable buildings, bringing the entire city down on the army.
I had a lot of fun with a bag of 1,000 ball bearings during a campaign once. needless to say I need a bag of infinite marbles
That is absolutely hilarious
"We did it Patrick, we saved the city"
*entire city collapsed in the background*
@@pablopereyra7126 nice! Time to get outta here
It's funny how much a bag of marbles comes up in games like this. I know of an actual play podcast where a bunch of marbles in a bag of holding was used in the final battle at the end of the game.
Backpipes of invisibility sounds like a great item for a war-bard. Someone who needs to play music and keep up morale, but doesn't want to be seen by his enemies. Imagine a scottish ghost, haunting the castle, playing the pipes
Yeah, imagine a rampaging army of invisible fighters, terrifying
The sorcerer one is funny as they aren't _supposed_ to be limited to having magical ancestors. You could just get magic via a contract, or just with contact of a specific type of magic. And I totally believe the reason for this is certain people lying that "Oh ya I'm like 1/16 dragon which is where the magic comes from." instead of the lamer "I just randomly got the power to use magic after getting hit by a stray spell".
It also inadvertently discourages people(characters) from trying to jump in the way of spells and magic in an attempt to get magic.
I like what one web comic I read where just about everyone possesses mana. There's two types of people that use it. Mages using their magic for ranged attacks and augmenters who envelop their bodies to improve their attacks, speed or defence.
I had a goblin divine soul sorcerer once whose entire backstory was essentially "A trickster god thought it would be HILARIOUS if a goblin were given the gift of magic."
You think about it sorcerers are the D&D character that is the most likely to get the comics superhero treatment. Our mild mannered coach man was giving a lift to some adventures when they where attacked by the cult of doooom. As the fight progressed the artifact that the adventures had captured fell to the ground bathing the coachmen in cosmic rays turning him into the sorcerer Harold!
@@josephkasmarcik2895 Pretty much. You could easily tract down actual super-heroes that match certain subclasses.
The scene you described could work for either Aberrant Mind or Divine Soul right off the bat. Depends on what you think Cosmic energy is considered.
Isn’t getting magic via contract sorta Warlock’s whole thing?
I did a play on the deck of many things once. It was the deck of many thing. Yes you read that correctly. The deck of many THING. I intended it to be a joke item for camping and making camp fires. Players could draw from the deck as many times as they wanted but it only produced one thing for the draw. You can have it produce whatever you want as the DM but I had it set to produce only fatwood tinder for starting camp fires..... That was a big mistake.... welcome to the arsonists deck of cards. On more than a few occasions they just drew until they had an unholy amount of fatwood to set on fire for unsuspecting victims, homes, ect.
I gave my party a deck of many things with a partially custom set of cards. In the 5 years we played, not a single bad card was drawn by them out of the 21 cards the deck had in total. there were 9 good, 3 neutral, and 9 bad cards and every single time they drew a card, they got a good card, but whenever they managed to get an npc to pull from it, the npc got the bad card, and no, i didn't pick the cards for them, they were physical cards that i just put on the table for them to pick one at random.
I remember this dragon born mage I made once yes I know, but work with me on this it’ll make sense. So anyway the dragon born I made specialized in fire, and ice. He had the good aspects of one, and the really messed up aspect, and half decent aspects of the other. Being a dragon born didn’t really help him much in being anything special other than having really strong affinities for fire, and ice. Well anyway one of the weird things that wasn’t my idea the dm being a jerk because I had really high charisma, and because of my spieces made me a great dragon detector because anything with draconic blood would be attracted to me for some odd reason. One of my team mates used me as a deterrent for other stuff because one of the perks is that I had a high body temp making me great for cold weather, but had one place not saying where that earned the named blue balls. And anytime someone would hit on said team mate, or fought an enemy I was forced to cast the spell blue balls leaving enemies retreating with their ice cubes.
I'm playing a Wizard/Bard multiclass who's heavily inspired off the idea of a stage magician, and coming up with insults for Vicious Mockery is my favorite part of the character.
*To the tune of "Hallelujah"*
I thought I saw a Gelatinous Cube
Or maybe it was an Orcish Rube
But turns out, it waaaas...
Your mother
Did a double take, no three, no four,
Puked up my guts, ran out the door,
Cause, my gods, she was hella ugly
I gave my players a really funny item called "hors of horning" wich just gives advantage on oportunity atacks, then they got into a fight in a really small hall (about 25 ft wide) and the druid casted enlarge on the barbarian with the horns and the artificer used its magic item that let it cast "gust of wind" wich made all the bandits generate oportunity attacks like, 3 turns in a row. The encounter was suposed to be hard and it ended up lasting less than time it made me make the fucking item.
Although fun, forced movement usually doesnt trigger opportunity attacks.
Im not going to poop on your party because the situation sounds hilarious, but yeah, for next time if it seems too OP keep it in mind.
@@coreylemon Ur right, I looked it up at the moment but i just thought that it was super funny so I let it slide and told them right after.
@@koda_1 Nobody likes a rules lawyer when it ruins the fun, so I don't blame you for your ruling.
Also, gotta give respect for giving an item that gives advantage on opportunity attacks when there are meta builds based nearly entirely around it.
The fact that your players haven't tried to exploit it beyond having fun in a wind tunnel tells me that they're good eggs lol
Thanks!
One of my favorite dnd stories will still always be the orc rogue who was invisible because as he put it, 'the only people who admit they can see me are those who want to die first and the most painfully'
So the Eldritch horror strategy for remaining invisible.
Do you really _want_ to admit that something like that can exist? Do you _want_ to remember? Best to assume that it's a trick of the light, and forget all about it.
Drizzt's panther's name is quite ironic when you really think about it. Guenhwyvar is an archaic form of Guinevere, which translates to "white" and "fair". Guen is a black panther. I love the irony, and I'm sad it took me this long to realize it.
My ex pronounced it goo-en-hi-var. I just about died laughing.
The one guy in my group I swear is a psychopath. He tried to take apart a mirror that was fixtured into the wall and used it as a trap since anything that touched the mirror got stuck inside and died. And he found a journal that if you ripped out the pages, they would reconstruct themselves making an infinite amount of paper. So he tried to find ways of exploiting this like tearing apart the book to make walls of journals or making someone swallow a page to see if a book would grow inside them. Our DM had him lose the book after he suggested tearing apart the book and letting it float in space to see if it would just keep repairing itself infinitely to the point that the weight fell in on itself to create a singularity.
2:42 "you know what the worst thing about DnD is? Other people"
best ad read EVER.
I have literally done a Halloween campaign where you discover your stats as you go.
The idea was that the players lost their memories due to some lovecraftian stuff going on. They just woke up around some kind of ritual circle with no idea whether they had caused the problem or were trying to fix it. All they knew was that everything in the manor was trying to kill them and they really needed to find an exit.
I just imagine an archer with the bow that only aims when he's drunk panicking and asking his companions for booze in a frenzy at the start of a fight and them asking why he wants to drink now, not knowing the bow thing 😂
This guy needs a jug of alchemy.
Ring of Invisibility - put on the ring and the ring turns perfectly invisible...but the rest of you is still very visible.
I was in an dnd campaign in which a villain died because of a joe mama joke. Basically our whole group was fighting, he's almost dead. Bard was screaming, because she had a curse and was a half goat (dont ask...) and our posh vampire-wizard guy (don't know how to say it in english) killed him by saing: "Your mother enjoys time alone with mature gentleman-goats which seem to have enough gold for everyone." Basically he called the mother of the villain a golddigger and a sugar baby... And the villain died because of it.
hemomancer?
Do you think you could describe it? Vampire might be the right word since they're usually fancy in western depictions, but I vaguely remember that word being used more generally for undead in other places so I'm not sure.
Bard: You're*
Enemy: *literally dies of shame*
Twin bagpipe of resonant invisibility! To gain invisibility, both have to be:
• played together
• played by equally competent musicians
• played in a specific harmonious chord
Muting debuffs invisibility
or muting it grants everyone in the vicinity invisibility, even the enemies
@@elysianblues oh shit
My players once entered a mad artificer's workshop full of his failed magic inventions.
Ring of teleportation. It teleports without the wearer.
Permanent immovable rod. It has no off button, and was already activated in the most inconvenient location in the workshop halfway blocking a door.
The fork of spooning. A fork you can eat soup with.
The sword of firgel bain. +2 against firgels. No one knows what a firgel is. I much later home brewed a firgel for them. The sudden excitement as they recognized the name.
Party dagger. A dagger that creates an illustration of confetti or candy in place of blood when stabbing.
Boots to speed. Once a turn, spend an action clicking the heals to gain an action.
And many more silly items.
I NEED the fork of spooning.
5:00 The Ring of Jumping not being the Ring of Landing is unironically a well-made item.
that ring of jumping reminds me of the wizard in morrowind that dies in front of you. Had atletics scrolls I think, but not landing scrolls :D though young kid is wayy too young to know that one to be related
you can save him. but he isnt interested in conversation.
They could land, but the problem is that you jump so high and so far that the scroll wears off just before you hit the ground.
@TheOriginalJphyper you either need to hit water, or use another scroll to survive. They're very handy for speedruns.
I don't D&D, but my go-to idea for a joke item is a spell that can open locks ... but only when you already have the matching key.
It's a key that can open any lock, but only once. Now your item in combination, chaos ensues.
@@lusterlessnova3199 I like to phrase the exploit like this:
NPC: "But if you already have the key...?"
Mage: "Clearly, you have never owned many keys."
(In other words, the spell effectively searches your available keys and applies the correct one if you have it)
Easy fix, get a Smith to make a very large amount of different keys, when you go to a lock you're bound to have a matching key. Requires a bit of cash but should be a easy fix.
@@BananaBoy-bp9qd If this were how locks and keys worked, your house would only be secure from 99% of the population and the last 1% would rob you constantly
The useless magic item: A cup that could produce an effectively unlimited amount of any non-magical liquid at room temperature that was not outright destructive (no acid).
They used it to bribe ravens with horse blood (because while blood of sentients and magical creatures is magical, blood of animals is not). They accidentally poisoned the BBEG with mercury. Accidentally, because they were trying to just cool down a wall of stone that he was melting through with hellfire by using a channel in it to pour the mercury on the other side. But the heat vaporized the mercury. But when I mentioned the mercury, one of them rolled an alchemy check, rolled quite badly, and decided to use orange juice as coolant instead. Didn't really matter at that point, the mercury vapours knocked the guy unconscious and he drowned in orange juice.
The blank character sheet would be a problem for spellcasters. Even if you know you are a Wizard, how do you know which 6 spells you start with. Or more, if you start past level 1.
Ring of Jumping: I have just made a magical pair of boots that have a similar effect. They do negate damage from using them to slam into things, but not damage from falling back after their momentum is spent.
"I cast an spell" and a random spell that you know goes off. That or you get a blank spell book and can add that many spells to your spell book for free
Sorcerers would just cast and be surprised at the spells that come out. Wizard on the other hand would have to decipher the spellbook they find in their bag.
The player calls for a random spell. DM calls for an appropriately sized dice to be rolled. The player then needs to figure out the spell biased on the effects.
Imagine arriving in the afterlife and when asked How you died you answer with "my mortal enemies accidentally drowned me in Orange juice"
Do not give me that item. I promise you that I will abuse it beyond measure. It is exactly what my twisted mind and chaotic heart would cause epic confusion with.
0:20 The bagpipes of invisibility gave me an idea for a useful item: When the bagpipes are played, every Ally of the holder (not the holder itself), who can clearly hear the bagpipes, gets granted invisibility and see invisibility against other targets of the magical effects of this item. (So your army doesn't run into each other.)
Normal bagpipes grant invisibility within a 600 m (2000 ft.) radius, Greater bagpipes grant invisibility within 900 m. Those bagpipes are audible with a DC 10 Perception check at double the range (1200 m/1800 m), getting harder with a +5DC for each additional range increment (+600 m/+900 m).
I have always had a problem with magical items that grant a bonus to allies of the user. How does the item know who is an ally? Is this a "detect enemy" item as well?
I would rather say that when the user starts playing a piece of music, everyone who can hear it will be "infused" by it. Once that piece of music is completed, let's say after 10 minutes or so, the bard can restart the same piece of music. And from that point, everyone who had been "infused" becomes invisible to others. This only works as long as the music is CONTINUOUSLY played on the bagpipes.
When Zac teaches me more about D&D than literally anything else and also doesn't make it confusing as hell.
I wasn't playing DND this was Star War RP ten years ago. We heisted our part jedi party member, our party's ship out of imperial impound, and I stole a imperial troop transport ship to boot. It was flawless, too flawless. We started paying less attention to the game in front of us and started talking about stealing cars IRL from the car lot down the road. It was getting serious until I completely bombed two consecutive Pilot Ship checks and one Use Computer check and smacked my ship straight into the turret I was blocking shots for the party's ship with the big ass troop carrier I stole. I crashed and died mostly because the party RPed that it looked like I deliberately crashed into the turret and "it was what he (me) wanted" laughter and gameply ensued and IRL crime was avoided. Just saying, maybe those hijinks on the table top are a good thing.
That bard was CLEVER
Now that was a proper bard player.
The flail made from aloe leaves... I played an alchemist, convincing my GM to let me make clay spheres filled with various potions, which I would sling at my companions to buff them. Yes, you WILL take an automatic 1 damage to HP from the pot hitting you and breaking, but you can get a 1d8+3 Cure Light Wounds effect! And since I was an ally and usually slinging them from behind, I always got to hit them flat-footed!
The Blank character sheet is basically death road to Canada stats in D & D. Would probably transfer well and be super fun.
Faulty magic item: the lute of silence, enchanted to cause silence when played, cursed to bind to your hands when played
critical failed roll when playing curses you with silence or the binding curse is transferred from hands to lips making you unable to remove it from your mouth
Our dm put in an item called the helmet of forgetfulness. It’s a helmet that once you don it you forget why and roll a wisdom save to take it off. We always failed and took it off. Was a lot of fun to mess with people with the thing though.
yep with vicious mockery a bard can wipe out a level one party with a yo momma joke. "yo momma so ugly her dildo went limp!" the wizard explodes the rogue incinerates and the warrior falls on his own sword.
i mean for the warrior it'd probably take 2...
I will now perform John Cage's 4'33" on the bagpipes of invisibility
HA!
4:14 accents are a hell of a thing, it took me a moment to realize he said SIX cultists.
I don't think his accent is the issue here.
@@LadyVineXIII To be fair, that IS how sorcerers are made, so.....
I made a... Slightly... Useless item. It was a Calliope, essentially a large pipeorgan on wheels. A bard could play it and get bonuses to his range... BUT it took an action to unpack and an action to pack, and it had to be stationary when played.
Could be situationally good if defending some sort of fortification from an attack.
@@Gamebuster exactly!
It also changed the "Song of Rest" to "Song of Jubilation", where /instead/ of getting extra hit dice if a character spends them on a short rest to heal up, all friendlies within range get temporary hit points.
In addition to Age and Species, they'd probably also ask for weight and profession 😆
Never really had someone play a Barbarian or a Fighter that can't drink, and usually the heavier the character the more they think they can handle.
And well... The 25 year old Gnome wizard vs. the 64 year old Orc Barbarian in a bar feels done and dusted 😅
4:57 that is actually a great bit. Nice improvisation from the bard, and nice of the dm for letting it work.
One of the characters in a fantasy series I'm writing uses, in one scene, runes and paper to make an enchanted war hammer that works as an actual weapon capable of killing someone.
0:10 if it's flammable, it's useful.
Ironically, I have a "Drunken Archer" build that the bow that requires you to be black-out drunk to use would be perfect for. Its essentially the Monk Class using the Way of the Drunken Master, but using a Shortbow as a Monk Weapon (Thanks to the Dedicated Weapon Feature from Tasha's). Using his high movement to stumble drunkenly around the battlefield while wildly, yet surprisingly accurately shooting off his bow, and occasionally getting a couple slaps in with Flurry of Blows, before drunkenly stumbling away and wildly shooting his bow some more.
I want to know how often casts Vicious Mockery and then quotes Monty Python "You're mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!' *NPC spontaneously combusts*
Counterspell: your*
That dnd game would've been dangerous to me as a kid lol. I really wanted to play DND as a kid and my parents had found some online game that was like similar or something in like world building or maybe it was actually DND idr honestly. What I do remember is I was dying constantly because I was like 8 I was no help and my parents I think had told me to stay in one town so I didn't get lost lmao. Cue me logging in all the time when the couldn't play And just walking around. I even had favorite areas that because I wasn't good at remembering routes one of my favorite things was to remember the route to some random spot that I loved.
I was in a blank character sheet game. I figured out my race and class, even my background, pretty quick, needed some guidance for subrace though. Nobody else even got close, they had so many hints I was biting my tongue for two thirds of the hints aside from pointing out the obvious.
The Bagpipes of invisibility would be my go to prank. Need to sneak in somewhere, have the bard play "Epic Sax Guy" theme on bagpipes while running around to create a diversion for the rest of your party to simply walk in through the front door.
That one bow would be great for a Dwarven Archer.
Dwarven Drunken Master Monk archer. :D
My sorcerer has filled a notebook page with insults to use when casting vicious mockery. I love the immersion.
1:16 my DM did this in our last session.
Always love the stories where players get out of situations that should definitely end in their deaths by either incredibly creative wordplay or a smart use for a spell
I had a Bard talk her way out of a sacrifice. In that exact way. We ended the session early because we were laughing so hard. It was glorious.
4:55 that dragon is me.
Thats something i would do if i was a dragon with a cult. Unfortunately, i dont have a cult, so i cannot do this.
That implies that you are a dragon.
@@twobladedswordsandmauls2120 *Was
As the bard of my party I had to talk down an ancient dragon at one point (had no idea how we were meant to deal with it since it was obviously too hard to fight). I went into this great speech to the book loving dragon about allowing "our stories to continue". DM goes "sure I guess we'll see, roll it." "Sure, nat 20 so that means 32?" ... We had a dragon friend after that.
We had some kind of leather canteen that could produce any liquid that we wanted. We never used it for any real purpose other than spicing up our breaks by saying that we use it to produce chickfila sauce
a bards ultima move ' NO U " anyone in ear shot dead and just out of reaches ear drums explode.
Ok, I’m definitely borrowing the drinking age bit.
btw, the best part is when you have a moment where the background music of a scene in dnd switches genre as fast as player turns. i literally once had an encounter that ranged from the harry potter theme on my end as my gunslinger found out that he could do magic, to resident evil horror theme as our other gunslinger got wrangled by his own shadow as zombies drew closer, to kill bill as our prussian officer turned out to be very good at slicing zombies in pieces, to dance dance revolution as our miner continued to get attacked three times a turn over 4 turns and not get hit by a single attack, even though he literally had nothing buffing his evasion rate. it was insane.
The bagpipes of invisibility are not a stealth item. They are an agro item.
You are alone in the clearing. Suddenly, you hear martial music coming toward you. Still alone, you look around wildly, trying to find the source of the droning martial tune. Suddenly, the barbarian appears, having made his performance check and swinging his battle axe at advantage. Roll for initiative and to beat intimidation!
Some friends and I actually played a oneshot campaign based on the idea of having amnesiac characters and filling out your character sheets as you play. It was such an awesome and chaotic game!! An evil circus ring master stole our memories. After defeating said ring master, we took over running the circus as business partners.
I played Trail, a dumb as rocks but lovable Druid Dragonborn with a Wisdom modifier of -2. He kept wild shaping into a cat when he got scared, and was haunted by a ghost he could see but not hear who kept trying to actually help us through furious ghost charades.
4:11 reminds me of the classic:
"Surrender!"
"You wish to surrender to me? Very well I accept."
The bard doing the reverse Uno on the six cultists will live free on my head from now on LOL
The one where players learn about their characters only from the DM, and how the NPC's act around them sounds pretty epic, a campaign like that could work.
"I like you." The green dragon takes the treasure and the bard and floes off.
A week later, the party still mourns the bard at the local tavern, the tavern door opens and the exhaisted looking bit grinning bard strolls in...
"I have fixed the dragon problem!"
"You slew the dragon?! By yourself?!"
"Slew?... Wait, the problem wasn't dragon under-population?"
Oh no my bag of bagging which is just a normal bag
Gotta love his "Jeeeesus CHRIST!"
1:54 upon hearing that my mind went straight to 🎵"Fantasy Costco! where all your dreams come true (got a deal for you!)"🎵
I played a Tabaxi monk in a one shot and while exploring a dungeon I accidently set off a boulder trap... I out ran the boulder trap straight across the map into an ambush of goblins or orcs or something (I forget what they were), out ran them and back to the party... it was definitely a Benny Hill moment lol...
I created a tool used for extracting information in AD&D 2E. It was a small rusty dagger enchanted with the Heal spell and the Permanence spell on top of it. It would tear a jagged cut that was healed almost immediately afterward, but the person being questioned still definitely felt the pain of that cut.
Assuming there was some guy who didn't need to breathe (probably not likely, but imagine for a second that it is), then they could play the bagpipes of invisibility and make any enemy think they're going crazy.
And you could also probably just give the illusion of a real life soundtrack to your party fighting, if they'd rather do that.
Oxventure did a take on the "blank character sheets" thing. DM made the character sheets and put like scratch off stickers or something on them. As they needed to role or use an ability, they would scratch off the respective sticker. Caveat wa instead of spell slots you could use each spell slot or ability twice but once you scratched it you were committed to using it. They did cheese it a little bit by targeting a tree and using several abilities in hopes of finding a healing spell for a severely injured party member.
I would acctually like to use backpipes of invisibility on one thing and one thing only: " playing suddenly boss fight music to unsuspecting victims, they would not know what is going on and (in some kind of weird universe) they would freak out because there is enemy near by (but acctually is not) " 😁🤘
“Jesus fucking CHRIST”
My exact thoughts
0:24 Probably should've added a caveat that the bagpipes bypass Silence cause they're just that obnoxious and loud XD
Amnesia style is my favorite way to introduce players to new game systems so they don't have to worry about building a character or learning everything before play.
Bagpipes of Invisibility would be TERRIFYING! Imagine you're in a forest or glen, minding your own business, and you suddenly hear wailing music coming from NOWHERE! And as it gets closer, it gets louder, and you STILL CAN'T SEE THE SOURCE!
"The pipes have their uses: they rally the men and spook the foe."--Brin Milo, _Gaunt's Ghosts_
The fact I’ve seen this entire video through separate shorts says something about me but I’d rather not take a moment to think about it
If I was a bard with vicious mockery I’d go for the “mind goblins” or “sugondeez”
5:22 , I have reached a conclusion
The mission impossible theme plays when the party or group is making the sneaky entrance into whatever fort/lair/castle they’re sneaking into
The pink panther theme plays when they’ve gotten past all the guards and traps and probably are having some banter (or any conversation) with someone high up who doesn’t know they ARENT supposed to be there, whilst trying to get to the tresure (or an object they need to retrieve)
The benny hill theme plays the the party has secured their treasure, but something went wrong and now they are making a run for it while every one of the guards is chasing them down the hall
The bard and the cultists never fail to get me good
2:34 oh I am going to add this to the next high level campaign I run for D&D. 😂
That dragon cult one was brilliant
I just walked into this video randomly, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, moltobene
Mug of endless ale that only refills when you’re near blackout drunk already to keep the party goin. The bender mug.
the bagpipes can technically be fixed via not working due to breathing, and the brass knuckles could be fixed via rubber gloves (assuming they exist)
Thank you making this video 😂😂😂
knowing my dnd group with heists it's more like "BFG Division" throughout the entire session
"We will defeat you evil bard!"
"No u"
*dies*
I said this in the shorts version, but it bears repeating.
"Look, a dragonborn!"
dragonborn: "WHERE?!"
I had made a joke about a goblin having a dagger that becomes a sword, not some sort of transformation, just it slides out. Like one of those cheap, plastic lightsabers. The players loved it so much, that they grabbed it.
Now the bard has that as his weapon, but he doesn’t have any other weapons.