1. Sexual details about your past partner. 2. Things you hate about yourself. 3. Insecurities about the relationship. Sabotaging conversations. 4. Judgement thoughts. 5. Shame stories. Be kind. Delicate. Timing, building trust. Can my partner receive this w/o sabotaging the relationship. Everyone wants to be loveable and likeable.
As a woman, I don't share ANYTHING about myself with men. I believe in letting the relationship flow and grow on a natural basis. I also do not believe in going to bed with anyone. I've had so many women grow frustrated because they went there too quickly, only to realize things about the guy they would've known had they waited. Trust is something that needs to be tested with time. That's the reason I allow a good friendship without expecting anything because I'm not giving up anything valuable such as information and my body. To me, it's pretty simple. I don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete
When a guy says the v word in front me and tells me he has 20K hours of experience, very obvious he is full of himself and doesn’t know a thing but bs 🤦♀️
@@3313xx Firstly, there are plenty of things to talk about other than stuff that he doesn't deserve to know right away. Trust takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. People in general usually get to know me on a more natural basis. I'm just not a talker in that regard. The person who posted this video is simply saying don't give up too much too quickly - and I agree with that. If a man has patience, he'll understand that. He'll allow things to grow on their own. If someone insists that I'm not allowing him to get to know me, that means he doesn't have the patience I would require. Stand on your beliefs or fall for anything is my motto
Rule # one today. Don't date using texting! Insist on everything being done face to face or at least over the phone. You need to hear at least the voice. Insist on using the phone only with video and texting only to say you are safe (traveling). You need to touch, smell and see a person to really get to know them.
I had a relationship where all we did was to text . There was no communication when we were in person . He spoke , but about himself & never deep conversations .
Be careful ladies...men at this age are looking for a nurse with a purse...caregiver that's fine if you've been married for fifty years not with someone you've known for a year...my opinion
I used to own a German restaurant and have a medical background and lived in a 5000 sf home I had just built. I was 60 at the time and got 4 marriage proposals in one year and only dated one of them briefly.😂
@@JonathonAslay Most of which I have encountered in my later life did. Even those who were very well off. Nobody at that age wants to load down more problems and wants to make sure that issues are manageable in the long run. So it is understandable but still not desirable for the most part.
Yes Diane they are looking what they can get from yu they are not to really take care of yu in all aspects I’m want someone to take care of me and help me of course I will too but don’t want to be used it’s mutual these men pretend someone yu want they can be fake liars manipulating users be aware ladies it’s not easy nowadays lord of users convinient for them only
You are so right! I have men vet me little comments like do you rent or own? What car do you drine what year? You can feel the user mentality energy. I can't get away from them quick enough. I'd rather be alone then wish l was. I have my grown daughter and furkids and my friends. I'm good unless a easy going kind non player man comes along.
I've shared all of these things with my partner and he still loves me. He has also shared his deep, dark thoughts with me. He knows about my sexual history and I know his. He knows how I hate my tummy and wish I was thinner and he reassures me that he loves my body. He knows im insecure and worry about him meeting someone else..he reassures me, that no one else could ever have the chemistry we have. Basically, if a man is INTO YOU you dont have to censor yourself or what you say. Maybe not censoring yourself and being open is a good way of weeding out the shit ones. I "overshared" with a guy before him, and he dumped me. Iam so glad I did, because if I had've kept these things inside, he might have stayed and I would not have met my current man, who is much more suitable in every way. We share things, including the bad stuff, if I have a problem he is my rock and I'm his.
Nope...being open is an in for a narcissist, cause they replicate you. Telling a man about your sexual past can be a huge turnoff. Plus it's nobody's business. Some things should be kept private. Women nowadays think they owe men all their private secrets. A lady is not supposed to discuss such things. No offense, but this man is giving you good advice, from a non biased standpoint. This is valuable. It's good that your man is supportive, but for most men, this stuff can be a turnoff.
My friend lost her husband. She has had men asking her out and about the third date they ask her if the home is hers and paid off. If she has money saved and if her husband had a large insurance when he past away. She tells them I married him and insured him so in case he slipped on a banana peel. Because I was famous for dropping pens, banana peels, marble on the floor and not picking them up. Next time they call. She tells them she has found a younger man.
I found that a lot of guys are seeking money......i am now very happily married to my second husband .....he wanted responsible but did not expect millionaire
What nobody ever talks about is that you can meet the greatest man of the world, and then something can happen and he can become the worst. My ex had a stroke which changed his personality, and he became abusive. Before that, he was amazing. No amount of therapy in the world is going to get me over thinking every relationship I have could also become Jekyll and Hyde. Yes I'll die alone, but I won't die by someone else's hand.
I knew someone in this situation years ago. They were young with a young family and he was going to lose his livelihood due to blindness. He had glaucoma and was a pilot and became extremely bitter. They divorced and she got much support. ( This happened in the 60’s) . She was my kindergarten teacher and received much moral support from our community at the time. He just bitched constantly and NOTHING could make him happy. I think she just had to get the kids away from him and she wasn’t able to sue for child support and he became estranged from his children. She remarried to a widower with 4 children around the same ages as her children as 2 of his were twins. They became the popular Brady bunch family in our community after that. All the children were well liked but her oldest daughter did suffer from an eating disorder later. Feel she probably suffered childhood trauma with her father’s giving up attitude which led to feelings of rejection I’m sure. My mother is an RN and one of her common sayings is” Sometimes life is just hard. “ All we can really do is make the best out of the cards we’re dealt as not everything can be controlled and happy. Believe she was about 5 or six and her sister was one year younger than her when the parents divorced. The stepdad didn’t come along til she was 15 so she went a decade without much of a father figure in her household but don’t know if she had any caring uncles or even a stay in touch grandfather to model as a caring male in her life but if she did I know it wasn’t something most people would have known about
I'm still married to a passive-ggressive covert narcissist and recently separated. We've been married for 8 years. And put it this way, I'm trying to heal from psychologically, emotionally, verbal and financial abuse.
I lived through this for 30 yrs. He died from cancer 6 months ago and it has taken those 6 months just to find the land mines he buried deep in my psyche, but it’s far better than the abuse. You can do this!!
First and foremost l, one has to work on discernment. We need to know what we are dealing with before opening up our lives to someone. This is imperative for the protection of our self esteem and integrity. There is NOTHING worse than giving up your pearls to swine!
Being too open to others can lead to being stabbed in the back when the relationship ends. And, that goes for friendships as well as relationships. There is much to be said for taking little baby steps, and maintaining one's independence. We never truly know another, and some folk don't even know themselves. Trust needs to be earned. One can be honest without revealing all. And, somethings should be ' taken with a grain of salt.' Meeting potential partners in situations where there is time to observe eachother on a regular basis before entering into an intimate relationship allows both parties to see eachother as they really are and to discover if their values are compatible. Being single has its benefits.
Please, stop saying women don't care about looks! Nonsense. I need to be attracted to a man in order to want anything to do with him. The emotional connection is just salt to the soup.
Yeah-I agree with you. Unfortunately, most men, including Jonathon, tend to assume that women are incapable of experiencing attraction and having sexual appetites. Men don't realize that if women aren't attracted to them it's literally because they're not attracted to the guy. And if the woman isn't interested in sex-it means she doesn't want to fake the big 'o'. The man isn't being attentive to her needs. That's the biggest reason why talking about previous sexual experiences can have a long term benefit to a happy and stable relationship. But men shoot themselves in the foot because of their ridiculous egos and need to believe that their new girlfriend is 'pure.' Men refuse to learn how to be equal in the bedroom or everywhere else in the relationship. And then the relationship ends within 2-3 years, if not sooner, or they just settle on being in an unhappy marriage if they get married in their late 40s or 50s.
There is a difference between insecurity and secrets. If you are 40 and older you have done things that you are NOT proud of. That is life. You learned from it and moved on. Sexual experiences are different with every partner. Let it go. Insecurities are human and should be shared but at the right moment and only to what applies.
I have always felt that I had to be perfect, flawless for a nice guy to be interested in me. Now, thanks to you, I understand where that feeling came from and I have dealt with it. I am positive about myself now and more confident. The belief I had stemmed out from things my dad would say that made me feel imperfect. Thank you Jonathan. 🙂
I love how you are right to the point and not sugarcoating the truth about relationships. It’s definitely frustrating trying to find someone who have values and morals. I believe most ppl these days have lost respect for one another.
I absolutely agree that these topics are only safe in a well-developed relationship with a mature partner. Some topics are toxic whatever the answer. With my late beloved I didn't answer his curiosity about how many sexual partners I'd had, told him that topic is nothing but insecurity-producing, and didn't want that info from him either. He seemed content to leave it alone after that.
To me there's only one reason to ask, and it's because the man has an issue with women who've been around. But it's fine for men to get around lol. Yeah I don't see a point in answering that either. And I don't think experience is a bad thing.
The most important thing is to be yourself, true love doesn't need any strategies. Say what you want to say and share what you want to share with your loved one. If it is meant to be, it will be.
This all makes so much sense - I wasted so much time doing the same thing over and again, expecting a different outcome. I now have a far better understanding of what emotional intimacy means… I am learning to say no and think about what I really want from a relationship. I’m worth much more than the crumbs I’ve been getting over the years. Thank you so much. 🙏😊
I felt great with the last guy, on third date I put in that for sex to happen I wanted to be in a relationship. He ghosted me, pulled back so fast. I called him on it, he refused to say he did, I let him know we're still friends but we don't talk at all anymore. I do want more from someone, than friends with benefits. And ghosting someone is so childish. If you can't be there, be honest about things.
People (Men) who ghost are cowards. Like the phrase goes “a good man is hard to find.” If someone ghosts you, see it as a Blessing. Stay strong, it’s not easy.
Thank you! Women need to stop tiptoeing around men thinking if we’re “easy going” and lovable that it will endear us to our man of interest. Nope! It just sets us to being used. Set boundaries and create tests, and when they fail…Believe it!
I agree that if it’s material to the relationship it’s good to talk about, otherwise there’s no need to get into the specifics of other relationships. We all go through things and grow and learn and change. Doesn’t make us bad people, just makes us human.
My friend said her BF kept lamenting how "perfect" she was all the time. During their 2 yr relationship, she discovered he was seeing another woman! So what's this about being perfect then?? She obviously wasn't perfect enough for him. Red flag: no discussion about living together or marriage. Thanks to Jonathan, we're now taught to look at his actions, not words! This guy's words were a lot of poppycock!!
Love books! I consumed self-help books after my divorce like crazy. I had two long-term relationships and therapy has also helped tremendously!! Every book you recommend I plan to read.❤️ Great suggestions!
I am confident in keeping certain experiences to myself unless I feel they inhibit me from functioning fully emotionally. Otherwise, we are adults w lives, loves, choices and trauma - I accept men for where they are at. I neither feel need to nurse, fix, bless or prop up a man. But, I would love to walk beside a man through life and build a soft landing for us both. In time, it will happen 🤗
I like how you're so "real world" about relationships! And that's from your Coaching. You get to confront these real situations going on out there! It's wild...
Being vulnerable, transparent, honest and relationship oriented, does NOT mean being stupid! Some things are personal, in the past experiences, that need to remain just there. In the past! Now, that being said, if what we'd like to share, exceptionaly has the potential to grow an already "commited relationship", then things might be different. As long as one operates with "caution" and "discernement"...
@Dr Chris Grayson Vous avez à suivre des cours d'anglais car votre orthographe laisse à désirer. Et votre scam est des plus évident aussi. Trouvez vous un emploi honnête dans votre propre pays et arrêtez de scammer les gens dans le mien!!!
Listening to YOU for 5 years. Dated & had 2 short relationships. I met my fiance Aug 5 22. I feel the very best with Geoff & He with me. Wedding is this August. Thank You for helping me Grow Learn & Love Me. Most importantly know who I needed
OMG! YES! I use humor ALL THE TIME to deflect from uncomfortable situations. Whether it be emotional things, or just awkward situations. I find it works really well to avoid dark topics or going places emotionally that scare the crap out of me. lol
#4-Anyone who sleeps with someone who thinks they're going to convince them to get in a relationship later may as well buy a sunny spot in Alaska. It should be clear FIRST.
I don’t think so I married both my first husbands and we were intimate right away. I don’t agree with this first one died and the second one we were I was married for a long time to each.
Maybe men should quit using women for sex when they know they never want a relationship with her. To me that is on them, men fooling women and using them for sex!
Celibacy is the only way to win on the dating scene. Or as a mature woman who actually wants to have sex, its good to be empowered to actually chose the man for this and become the milf or a cougar for the strong younger lover. Always think about your situation from the position of victory. Never the victim.
My cousin plus she is my best friend has been single by choice all her life. Never wanted children or marriage. So she goes out with some of her men friends because they are good in bed. Others are lousy as she puts it but are great to spend the day golfing or walking. She says not all her men friends want to go put the bed to use.
As a 66 year old woman, I have achieved emotional maturity and I know what I want and need. What I want and need now is a complete 180 from what I wanted when I was 20 or even 30! What Jonathan needs to do is the 5 things men need to do and don’t do when separated or newly divorced!! They are in NO position to jump into relationships! Jonathan concentrate on this. It’s rampant out there.
I think people are so bold to talk about things that we used to blush thinking about talking about. I know my mom talked about holding hands being a big deal 60 years ago. How far we have come! Well, maybe fallen?
Hey Johnathan. A great mention for girls from you, my last relationship (12yrs) for the first 10 months of our relationship he introduced me to MEN, as his girlfriend., but to WOMEN., I was his “FRIEND”, there became a breakdown of our relationship and when I told him the root was his difference of his description of me to the relationship, depending on who he was introducing me to., and that was indeed the root of our problem, once aware he changed his speak. Subconsciously I’m sure he was purposefully doing this. But once there was a descion he had to make which would make or break the relationship., his choice was to correct his title of me.
@@shelleysaville8732 I wonder if it is because they’re subconsciously (or consciously) keeping the other woman in their mind as a potential partner or option in case it doesn’t work out with you, his “friend” , and not wanting the other woman to know that he’s already in a committed relationship with you?
Your videos are of great value. Thank you! I have used the term "emotionally constipated" to describe my ex husband. My picker is broken and I find myself afraid to get back out there to meet men. I desire a long term relationship... marriage or cohabitating. My last 12 yr relationship was with a man who was never going to commit. He told me he thought I would be fun so decided to date me. I thought I could change that because I'm so wonderful 🙄 It sure took me a long time to see and acknowledge that this wasn't going to change. Thank you for what you do.
Your channel is so calming. It’s gives the “come as you are” feeling. Thank you for sharing about your personal experience and your insights. I’m sorry for your loss. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. Have a good day, I hope you’ll enjoy your day! 😛
i don’t like to always talk on phone because i typically talk all day at work, i like text and in person texting is fine throughout the day but i love in person
AMEN Jonathan ❤ I love how you are so real and down to earth. Tell it like it is. No bs. Wish we could clone you so we could all have a good man at least once in our life. 😊
I enjoyed watching your program. You do make me chuckle. People are very funny for sure. I am so sorry for your loss and admire how you can talk about him. I suppose most of us do feel like we could have been better parents and we try to figure out what we did wrong. Well, do we really have a blueprint to follow?? I was a parent at age 23. Did I have training to be a good parent? Heck no, who does? All I had to go on was how I was raised. My parents were not perfect. Dad had the idea that women did not need an education and mom believed that a woman needed it to survive independently. Of course, I followed my mom's idea, as I knew what it was like to be raised in a home when one is struggling just to put food on the table. I raised my daughter to know she had to have college to survive in this world. She became a nurse even while raising two daughters. I'm very proud of her today.
I've heard the one thing you must never tell a man is that you weren't faithful in a committed relationship. Doesn't matter the reason, the circumstances, whether you were in high school and immature, whether your partner was away in the military, etc. He will think once a cheater always a cheater.
I’m at the end of my divorce, and I just met a very nice man, and have had some really nice conversations in person. He understands I have a disability and really doesn’t care that I have extra weight on my body - mostly from my meds and all the steroid shots I’ve been on. I’m not sure I want a relationship yet, but want to find out more about him - I could change my mind depending what I learn lol.
Hi I am an empath . Every man I have ever dated has asked me to marry him . I have never been wealthy or gorgeous but I am beautiful and not average. I have the ability to connect with people and can sense peoples feelings . Never wanted a man who can’t communicate in a sincere way. Now I am at an age where sex is not important to me but sincere companionship and intelligent conversation are paramount. I may decide to stay single and devote myself to helping others . My life has been spent as a caregiver . So caring is #1. Wishing you all success in your life .God bless ❤
Preferences is essential knowledge is essential to be understood & accepted. Her mechanics. Secrets. Trust is best interests for her well being before . During. & AFTER & FUTURE HEALTH. WHOLEBODY!!.
You just validated my joke that meeting anyone at this age is about evaluating compatible baggage. It's either divorced, mental or still clueless. Different ball game than younger for sure.
When an ex was trying to be my 'friend' after he broke up with me, he hinted what would I think if he dressed as a woman? High heels, stockings etc? I freaked out then he backtracked and said a woman wanted him to dress that way, and he said no. I blocked him, and thought I had a lucky escape. Always felt he was hiding something big from me but not that.
Don’t tell a potential partner anything you might regret because you might and probably would blame a potential breakup on telling him too much. Still tongue in a wise head ❤ Heartbreak Can be avoided! It is forever a miracle to me that relationships actually get to exist! I have liberated myself from the need to be in a relationship thus I am in the enviable position of rejoicing in the good relationships of those fortunate few couples whom I happen to know.
In regards to not sharing your insecurities and character flaws I think it's a good thing to do as long as you also follow up with the fact that you accept yourself fully the way that you are and love yourself the way that you are and realize you are all on a journey. Of course deeper in the relationship seriously, if you can't be real you're not with the right person
IDK... when to share a "shame" story.... some things never need to be shared if you are not getting married. Think, if this relationship fails... what is this person going to "blah blah blah" about you ? TRUST is a thing, but idk... Just thinking out loud.
I've wasted 17 yrs on a narcissist he openly says he only cares about himself were in Thailand again he says the only reason he keeps me around is bc his family loves me he's56 very well off and only gives himself credit meanwhile I've allowed myself to give up my career family... Everything I don't even know how to start over at my age I thank God I've found your messages Ive been made to think to choose "the Love I think I deserve"
😂thought u said pecker he is so use to having handfuls of partners in front of my face I'm supposed to be in my"prime" safety first is my motto and everything in moderation but I know toxicity so now what we are fake then behind closed doors...
Oh how I loved the insight seminars I attended. Completely changed my life in a huge way. The Cocktail Party exercise completely chanced my life. I was forever chsnged by Insight Seminars.
Why do I have to read lots of books to understand when others do just fine without it😢 I have too many other things to do in my life. It’s too much to have to make this a whole hobby. It seems like this should be much easier🤔if it’s not easy, maybe it’s not meant to be…
Mr J. Aslay: you are genius! Your online webinars are super incredibly. I did not you exist unfortunately. If I knew you do the sort of online podcasts/lectures, I would join your TH-cam channel straight away. Thank you so much for what you do. It is super interesting, you are very approachable and speak in the matter, that it is understandable for everyone (regardless of their education, race, age, gender etc). Thank you!
Itold a guy one time I was dating for 3 months and told him that I don’t have playtime workout a relationship… he told me that he would never get into a relationship with a women he doesn’t have playtime with. He was crystal clear!!
Amazing video, Jonathon! Thank you btw for being so transparent about yourself, it’s one of the reasons I love your content so much. FYI “Tuesdays With Morrie” was written by Mitch Albom (writer from the Detroit Free Press)- one of my favourite books! I think you’d mentioned that Malcolm Gladwell wrote it. 🤗
If I had a daughter I would install confidence in her. I would get her to educate and save money for security. To be healthy and look after skin and figure. Not to give body away and stay single unless they find a quality man!
So…, my experience is that I only had committed, monogamous relationships with men I‘m not initially attracted to…. However: these commitments represented a betrayal, as these men who only represented a compromise to me were never the ones being loyal, true, or cared about my needs…. Therefore, I‘m over this „dating the smaller guy“ … if I‘m not really attracted to a man physically, chances are it’s only downhill from there… usually there is no grand improvement or finale from there. I was alone in all these compromise-relationships and I am alone all the time now… unless a man is truly I‘m looking for, I have no incentive to settle!!!
it was a instant connection we felt twice with seeing each other for first two time to paths crossing years later-We started dating and hit it off I was first women he publicly announced on FB he was with. We ended up married 5 months in and my kids gained a stepdad. Later I lost my mom and I did neglect him for 6 mths we ended up divorced but still when it came time for me to move out he didn’t want us to go. 5 years now we still live together but half the time I don’t know where we stand and I can walk out anytime he says the word- He tells me he doesn’t want us to leave that I need to just let things take it’s course?? My years are flying by and I want someone to share my life with! One minute he wants me the next he’s cold. I don’t know which way to go but he’s not the man I married and fell in love with And I don’t see that man coming back anytime soon-Btw we are not even friends on Facebook bc he says I would read into comments or likes ..he has broken my trust before-to me and maybe I am wrong but I think he wants a double life.
Get out now, run do not walk. You need to cut the cord. I lived with my husband for several years after the divorce and I can tell you it is a big mistake.
After one month on Match, again no Match. Not for lack of effort. In the meantime, I watch your videos. Most live too far or want to have fun, no rush for a relationship.
@@JonathonAslay very few, and nobody I would want. I did initiate over 25 emails. Some of those lived over an hour away due to lack of men in my area. I may have gotten maybe one email back but then it fizzled out. So after 1 month, I have nobody to pursue a relationship with.
@Libby Novotny I was doing the free week trials every few months. Got a great offer and tried. I agree. Finding someone not easy. I have willing to relocate on my profile too.
yeah I don't believe in having intimate relations with anyone but who you see a relationship forming and it often upset me at a man trying to get me into bed. It puts me off trying to date at all. I'm not interested in sleeping around.Also, I've met men who I was interested in me who slept with someone else while getting to know me, that hurt. If men don't like that themselves well it is one rule for them another for women? It's like they jeopardise it before it's begun, can't they keep it in their pants if they like you? obviously not enough.
Great video ! I really like your content and advice. 💝 Also I have been in situations where there were men that first were unsure and you could think they were emotionally constipated. Then they turn around. Anyway, I also think sharing details is a societal thing, here in Sweden we are very open and I´m kind of used to people sharing a lot of intimate details and I don´t really have problem sharing that either.
True Jonathon about the height thing, it's one thing we can't change is our height. I am 5"9 and have often dated men my height or even a little shorter.
I am old now and wish I had the mind I have now when I was young. I haven't dated in decades, and it was a laughable endeavor even then. Sounds like people still need help not to sound like an idiot now. Good luck young people and just enjoy your moments.
I am grateful that cell phones were not a thing when I met my husband. We would either meet or talk on the phone for hours. We have been together 36 years now. I even tell my kids, sister and girlfriend that I prefer to meet or a phone conversation. I am not a texting fan. I can text but that is my last choice. 😁
If it doesn't enter into my thoughts I don't share it. The past is gone, looking forward is where we should be looking. You have plenty of time to lament life's mistakes when you are on your death bed where you won't bore people with it.
When a man complains about an ex when on a date, I have that person scratched off. So I don't complain or take time away from them. It's one on one time. Don't bring in a 3rd
Yes this resonates with me. I want to know what you think; if you're dating a person and you've been dating let's say 5 months due to long distance (6 hrs) and you learn they have medical conditions and they don't show any interest in helping themselves. Examples would be eating healthier and exercise. I was brutally honest with him and did have a conversation about it but I never saw him take any initiative to do anything about it. He didn't take me serious until I ended it.
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Nurse with a purse! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
1. Sexual details about your past partner.
2. Things you hate about yourself.
3. Insecurities about the relationship. Sabotaging conversations.
4. Judgement thoughts.
5. Shame stories.
Be kind. Delicate. Timing, building trust. Can my partner receive this w/o sabotaging the relationship.
Everyone wants to be loveable and likeable.
Exactly
@@JonathonAslay 🌷✨😊
No
thanks so much for the notes 🎉
Thank you for your information. It helps alot.
As a woman, I don't share ANYTHING about myself with men. I believe in letting the relationship flow and grow on a natural basis. I also do not believe in going to bed with anyone. I've had so many women grow frustrated because they went there too quickly, only to realize things about the guy they would've known had they waited. Trust is something that needs to be tested with time.
That's the reason I allow a good friendship without expecting anything because I'm not giving up anything valuable such as information and my body. To me, it's pretty simple. I don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete
When a guy says the v word in front me and tells me he has 20K hours of experience, very obvious he is full of himself and doesn’t know a thing but bs 🤦♀️
how would you even be friends though without sharing anything about yourself? seems a bit extreme... like what do you talk about?
@@3313xx Firstly, there are plenty of things to talk about other than stuff that he doesn't deserve to know right away. Trust takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. People in general usually get to know me on a more natural basis. I'm just not a talker in that regard. The person who posted this video is simply saying don't give up too much too quickly - and I agree with that.
If a man has patience, he'll understand that. He'll allow things to grow on their own. If someone insists that I'm not allowing him to get to know me, that means he doesn't have the patience I would require. Stand on your beliefs or fall for anything is my motto
Right on! Im the same way. You have all the marks of high self-esteem. You know your value and self-worth. Don't settle for less!
@@utubefreshie thanks!!!
Rule # one today.
Don't date using texting!
Insist on everything being done face to face or at least over the phone. You need to hear at least the voice. Insist on using the phone only with video and texting only to say you are safe (traveling).
You need to touch, smell and see a person to really get to know them.
Exactly
So agree
Amen👏
I had a relationship where all we did was to text . There was no communication when we were in person . He spoke , but about himself & never deep conversations .
@@teresapetersen1690 You did NOT have a relationship. You socialized a bit.
Be careful ladies...men at this age are looking for a nurse with a purse...caregiver that's fine if you've been married for fifty years not with someone you've known for a year...my opinion
Only some men do...
I used to own a German restaurant and have a medical background and lived in a 5000 sf home I had just built.
I was 60 at the time and got 4 marriage proposals in one year and only dated one of them briefly.😂
@@JonathonAslay Most of which I have encountered in my later life did.
Even those who were very well off.
Nobody at that age wants to load down more problems and wants to make sure that issues are manageable in the long run.
So it is understandable but still not desirable for the most part.
Yes Diane they are looking what they can get from yu they are not to really take care of yu in all aspects I’m want someone to take care of me and help me of course I will too but don’t want to be used it’s mutual these men pretend someone yu want they can be fake liars manipulating users be aware ladies it’s not easy nowadays lord of users convinient for them only
You are so right! I have men vet me little comments like do you rent or own? What car do you drine what year? You can feel the user mentality energy. I can't get away from them quick enough. I'd rather be alone then wish l was. I have my grown daughter and furkids and my friends. I'm good unless a easy going kind non player man comes along.
I've shared all of these things with my partner and he still loves me. He has also shared his deep, dark thoughts with me. He knows about my sexual history and I know his. He knows how I hate my tummy and wish I was thinner and he reassures me that he loves my body. He knows im insecure and worry about him meeting someone else..he reassures me, that no one else could ever have the chemistry we have. Basically, if a man is INTO YOU you dont have to censor yourself or what you say. Maybe not censoring yourself and being open is a good way of weeding out the shit ones.
I "overshared" with a guy before him, and he dumped me. Iam so glad I did, because if I had've kept these things inside, he might have stayed and I would not have met my current man, who is much more suitable in every way.
We share things, including the bad stuff, if I have a problem he is my rock and I'm his.
U r extremely fortunate to have a true love to treasure forever.May God bless you both ❤
Lucky punk 😇
This is a beautiful alternative perspective to this video thank you for sharing
Nope...being open is an in for a narcissist, cause they replicate you. Telling a man about your sexual past can be a huge turnoff. Plus it's nobody's business. Some things should be kept private. Women nowadays think they owe men all their private secrets. A lady is not supposed to discuss such things. No offense, but this man is giving you good advice, from a non biased standpoint. This is valuable. It's good that your man is supportive, but for most men, this stuff can be a turnoff.
Yes
My friend lost her husband. She has had men asking her out and about the third date they ask her if the home is hers and paid off. If she has money saved and if her husband had a large insurance when he past away. She tells them I married him and insured him so in case he slipped on a banana peel. Because I was famous for dropping pens, banana peels, marble on the floor and not picking them up. Next time they call. She tells them she has found a younger man.
I found that a lot of guys are seeking money......i am now very happily married to my second husband .....he wanted responsible but did not expect millionaire
Ha! Ha! Great comebacks!!
That is hilarious and wonderful!
A sad state of affairs
I dated a guy who was very interested in the fact that I had a “real job” with a “401k.” He was unusually interested in my finances. Next!
What nobody ever talks about is that you can meet the greatest man of the world, and then something can happen and he can become the worst. My ex had a stroke which changed his personality, and he became abusive. Before that, he was amazing. No amount of therapy in the world is going to get me over thinking every relationship I have could also become Jekyll and Hyde. Yes I'll die alone, but I won't die by someone else's hand.
Hugs
This happened to my husband. It was a nightmare.
Sorry to hear that but don’t give up on love! With each relationship we learn a lot about ourselves and as long as we are alive we are learning.
Hugs. This can happen.
I knew someone in this situation years ago. They were young with a young family and he was going to lose his livelihood due to blindness. He had glaucoma and was a pilot and became extremely bitter. They divorced and she got much support. ( This happened in the 60’s) . She was my kindergarten teacher and received much moral support from our community at the time. He just bitched constantly and NOTHING could make him happy. I think she just had to get the kids away from him and she wasn’t able to sue for child support and he became estranged from his children. She remarried to a widower with 4 children around the same ages as her children as 2 of his were twins. They became the popular Brady bunch family in our community after that. All the children were well liked but her oldest daughter did suffer from an eating disorder later. Feel she probably suffered childhood trauma with her father’s giving up attitude which led to feelings of rejection I’m sure. My mother is an RN and one of her common sayings is” Sometimes life is just hard. “ All we can really do is make the best out of the cards we’re dealt as not everything can be controlled and happy. Believe she was about 5 or six and her sister was one year younger than her when the parents divorced. The stepdad didn’t come along til she was 15 so she went a decade without much of a father figure in her household but don’t know if she had any caring uncles or even a stay in touch grandfather to model as a caring male in her life but if she did I know it wasn’t something most people would have known about
*Understanding what to keep private is essential for a successful relationship. Let's embrace this advice and protect our personal boundaries.*
Right to be CHOOSEY. SELECTIVITY IS ESSENTIAL!!!
I'm still married to a passive-ggressive covert narcissist and recently separated. We've been married for 8 years. And put it this way, I'm trying to heal from psychologically, emotionally, verbal and financial abuse.
Get out as soon as possible. Good therapist.
I suggest checking out books about the damaging effects of cults in addition to any self help or psychology books you read.
I lived through this for 30 yrs. He died from cancer 6 months ago and it has taken those 6 months just to find the land mines he buried deep in my psyche, but it’s far better than the abuse. You can do this!!
Answer: NEVER tell a man about previous sex experiences unless you want to hear about it every time you disagree about something.
First and foremost l, one has to work on discernment. We need to know what we are dealing with before opening up our lives to someone. This is imperative for the protection of our self esteem and integrity. There is NOTHING worse than giving up your pearls to swine!
Being too open to others can lead to being stabbed in the back when the relationship ends. And, that goes for friendships as well as relationships. There is much to be said for taking little baby steps, and maintaining one's independence. We never truly know another, and some folk don't even know themselves. Trust needs to be earned. One can be honest without revealing all. And, somethings should be ' taken with a grain of salt.' Meeting potential partners in situations where there is time to observe eachother on a regular basis before entering into an intimate relationship allows both parties to see eachother as they really are and to discover if their values are compatible. Being single has its benefits.
Please, stop saying women don't care about looks! Nonsense. I need to be attracted to a man in order to want anything to do with him. The emotional connection is just salt to the soup.
Yeah-I agree with you. Unfortunately, most men, including Jonathon, tend to assume that women are incapable of experiencing attraction and having sexual appetites. Men don't realize that if women aren't attracted to them it's literally because they're not attracted to the guy. And if the woman isn't interested in sex-it means she doesn't want to fake the big 'o'. The man isn't being attentive to her needs. That's the biggest reason why talking about previous sexual experiences can have a long term benefit to a happy and stable relationship. But men shoot themselves in the foot because of their ridiculous egos and need to believe that their new girlfriend is 'pure.' Men refuse to learn how to be equal in the bedroom or everywhere else in the relationship. And then the relationship ends within 2-3 years, if not sooner, or they just settle on being in an unhappy marriage if they get married in their late 40s or 50s.
Amen
Absolutely! Great comment’
There is a difference between insecurity and secrets.
If you are 40 and older you have done things that you are NOT proud of.
That is life. You learned from it and moved on.
Sexual experiences are different with every partner. Let it go.
Insecurities are human and should be shared but at the right moment and only to what applies.
Indeed...
thank you
I have always felt that I had to be perfect, flawless for a nice guy to be interested in me. Now, thanks to you, I understand where that feeling came from and I have dealt with it. I am positive about myself now and more confident. The belief I had stemmed out from things my dad would say that made me feel imperfect. Thank you Jonathan. 🙂
You are so welcome
I love how you are right to the point and not sugarcoating the truth about relationships. It’s definitely frustrating trying to find someone who have values and morals. I believe most ppl these days have lost respect for one another.
I absolutely agree that these topics are only safe in a well-developed relationship with a mature partner. Some topics are toxic whatever the answer. With my late beloved I didn't answer his curiosity about how many sexual partners I'd had, told him that topic is nothing but insecurity-producing, and didn't want that info from him either. He seemed content to leave it alone after that.
Exactly
To me there's only one reason to ask, and it's because the man has an issue with women who've been around. But it's fine for men to get around lol. Yeah I don't see a point in answering that either. And I don't think experience is a bad thing.
You are absolutely not offensive, women need to hear these things!!! DONT GIVE OUT YOUR V SO EASILY!!!
The most important thing is to be yourself, true love doesn't need any strategies. Say what you want to say and share what you want to share with your loved one. If it is meant to be, it will be.
This all makes so much sense - I wasted so much time doing the same thing over and again, expecting a different outcome. I now have a far better understanding of what emotional intimacy means… I am learning to say no and think about what I really want from a relationship. I’m worth much more than the crumbs I’ve been getting over the years. Thank you so much. 🙏😊
I felt great with the last guy, on third date I put in that for sex to happen I wanted to be in a relationship. He ghosted me, pulled back so fast. I called him on it, he refused to say he did, I let him know we're still friends but we don't talk at all anymore. I do want more from someone, than friends with benefits. And ghosting someone is so childish. If you can't be there, be honest about things.
Bravo - well said!❤
People (Men) who ghost are cowards. Like the phrase goes “a good man is hard to find.” If someone ghosts you, see it as a Blessing.
Stay strong, it’s not easy.
Thank you! Women need to stop tiptoeing around men thinking if we’re “easy going” and lovable that it will endear us to our man of interest. Nope! It just sets us to being used. Set boundaries and create tests, and when they fail…Believe it!
Amen Jonathan
I agree that if it’s material to the relationship it’s good to talk about, otherwise there’s no need to get into the specifics of other relationships. We all go through things and grow and learn and change. Doesn’t make us bad people, just makes us human.
Exactly
My friend said her BF kept lamenting how "perfect" she was all the time. During their 2 yr relationship, she discovered he was seeing another woman! So what's this about being perfect then?? She obviously wasn't perfect enough for him. Red flag: no discussion about living together or marriage. Thanks to Jonathan, we're now taught to look at his actions, not words! This guy's words were a lot of poppycock!!
Exactly
Yes perfectly described my recent boyfriend, so emotionally constipated with his ego. 🙄
Thank you …I’m dating a shorter guy that adores me & checks all the boxes except for height. Gonna start thinking of him as a navy seal 🔥
Yay!
😂😂
Love books! I consumed self-help books after my divorce like crazy. I had two long-term relationships and therapy has also helped tremendously!! Every book you recommend I plan to read.❤️ Great suggestions!
I am confident in keeping certain experiences to myself unless I feel they inhibit me from functioning fully emotionally. Otherwise, we are adults w lives, loves, choices and trauma - I accept men for where they are at. I neither feel need to nurse, fix, bless or prop up a man. But, I would love to walk beside a man through life and build a soft landing for us both. In time, it will happen 🤗
I like how you're so "real world" about relationships! And that's from your Coaching. You get to confront these real situations going on out there! It's wild...
Yes! Thank you!
Being vulnerable, transparent, honest and relationship oriented, does NOT mean being stupid! Some things are personal, in the past experiences, that need to remain just there. In the past! Now, that being said, if what we'd like to share, exceptionaly has the potential to grow an already "commited relationship", then things might be different. As long as one operates with "caution" and "discernement"...
@Dr Chris Grayson Vous avez à suivre des cours d'anglais car votre orthographe laisse à désirer. Et votre scam est des plus évident aussi. Trouvez vous un emploi honnête dans votre propre pays et arrêtez de scammer les gens dans le mien!!!
Listening to YOU for 5 years. Dated & had 2 short relationships. I met my fiance Aug 5 22. I feel the very best with Geoff & He with me. Wedding is this August. Thank You for helping me Grow Learn & Love Me. Most importantly know who I needed
That's too soon...one year of dating? Slow it down, tell him you want to postpone the wedding till next August and cancel this one.
OMG! YES! I use humor ALL THE TIME to deflect from uncomfortable situations. Whether it be emotional things, or just awkward situations. I find it works really well to avoid dark topics or going places emotionally that scare the crap out of me. lol
#4-Anyone who sleeps with someone who thinks they're going to convince them to get in a relationship later may as well buy a sunny spot in Alaska. It should be clear FIRST.
Lol
I don’t think so I married both my first husbands and we were intimate right away. I don’t agree with this first one died and the second one we were I was married for a long time to each.
Men only think with one thing. And it's not their brain!
Maybe men should quit using women for sex when they know they never want a relationship with her. To me that is on them, men fooling women and using them for sex!
That's why I teach women how to spot the users in my private coaching program 🙏
Celibacy is the only way to win on the dating scene. Or as a mature woman who actually wants to have sex, its good to be empowered to actually chose the man for this and become the milf or a cougar for the strong younger lover. Always think about your situation from the position of victory. Never the victim.
@@hgfw9295
So very true!
@@hgfw9295 i decided to become celibate almost a year ago, it was most beautiful thing i have ever done for myself
My cousin plus she is my best friend has been single by choice all her life. Never wanted children or marriage. So she goes out with some of her men friends because they are good in bed. Others are lousy as she puts it but are great to spend the day golfing or walking. She says not all her men friends want to go put the bed to use.
As a 66 year old woman, I have achieved emotional maturity and I know what I want and need. What I want and need now is a complete 180 from what I wanted when I was 20 or even 30! What Jonathan needs to do is the 5 things men need to do and don’t do when separated or newly divorced!! They are in NO position to jump into relationships! Jonathan concentrate on this. It’s rampant out there.
AMEN to #1! All this talk about “body count” is SO confusing! How does this even come up in conversation? It’s no one’s business.
Because rarely do we meet virgins
@@JonathonAslay yea at our age??!? 🤣🤣🤣
I think people are so bold to talk about things that we used to blush thinking about talking about. I know my mom talked about holding hands being a big deal 60 years ago. How far we have come!
Well, maybe fallen?
So glad you admitted of about 80% of people online have challenges and are "ego-centric". That's what I have found, too.
Hey Johnathan. A great mention for girls from you, my last relationship (12yrs) for the first 10 months of our relationship he introduced me to MEN, as his girlfriend., but to WOMEN., I was his “FRIEND”, there became a breakdown of our relationship and when I told him the root was his difference of his description of me to the relationship, depending on who he was introducing me to., and that was indeed the root of our problem, once aware he changed his speak. Subconsciously I’m sure he was purposefully doing this. But once there was a descion he had to make which would make or break the relationship., his choice was to correct his title of me.
That's great
Would like to know what Jonathan thinks about this & why do men do this ?
@@shelleysaville8732 I wonder if it is because they’re subconsciously (or consciously) keeping the other woman in their mind as a potential partner or option in case it doesn’t work out with you, his “friend” , and not wanting the other woman to know that he’s already in a committed relationship with you?
Players often use the term "friend" as a cover for "friends with benes". Blow their cover and walk away.
Wow...interesting! You are smart to clue in on that!
Your videos are of great value. Thank you! I have used the term "emotionally constipated" to describe my ex husband. My picker is broken and I find myself afraid to get back out there to meet men. I desire a long term relationship... marriage or cohabitating. My last 12 yr relationship was with a man who was never going to commit. He told me he thought I would be fun so decided to date me. I thought I could change that because I'm so wonderful 🙄 It sure took me a long time to see and acknowledge that this wasn't going to change. Thank you for what you do.
Your channel is so calming. It’s gives the “come as you are” feeling. Thank you for sharing about your personal experience and your insights. I’m sorry for your loss. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. Have a good day, I hope you’ll enjoy your day! 😛
i don’t like to always talk on phone because i typically talk all day at work, i like text and in person texting is fine throughout the day but i love in person
Me too...
Only share about your emotional insecurities with a professional cousellor or similar. Words learned the hard way. Take heed.
Indeed, I should never be distespectful to anyone !...You are a very communicative man ! I listen sometimes from DK !
AMEN Jonathan ❤ I love how you are so real and down to earth. Tell it like it is. No bs. Wish we could clone you so we could all have a good man at least once in our life. 😊
Texting is the Worst communication resource!! You don't know the Tone of something being said? Whatever happened to this world, people?🤔
Exactly!!!
Mystery is an important pard of seduction, it’s never seductive to be an open book…
Seduction leads to short-lived experiences
I enjoyed watching your program. You do make me chuckle. People are very funny for sure. I am so sorry for your loss and admire how you can talk about him. I suppose most of us do feel like we could have been better parents and we try to figure out what we did wrong. Well, do we really have a blueprint to follow?? I was a parent at age 23. Did I have training to be a good parent? Heck no, who does? All I had to go on was how I was raised. My parents were not perfect. Dad had the idea that women did not need an education and mom believed that a woman needed it to survive independently. Of course, I followed my mom's idea, as I knew what it was like to be raised in a home when one is struggling just to put food on the table. I raised my daughter to know she had to have college to survive in this world. She became a nurse even while raising two daughters. I'm very proud of her today.
I've heard the one thing you must never tell a man is that you weren't faithful in a committed relationship. Doesn't matter the reason, the circumstances, whether you were in high school and immature, whether your partner was away in the military, etc. He will think once a cheater always a cheater.
Everyone has a past...
BECAUSE THE RIGHT PERSON, we share everything. I know the words he does it say eludes to. But all discussed from the jump
I’m at the end of my divorce, and I just met a very nice man, and have had some really nice conversations in person. He understands I have a disability and really doesn’t care that I have extra weight on my body - mostly from my meds and all the steroid shots I’ve been on. I’m not sure I want a relationship yet, but want to find out more about him - I could change my mind depending what I learn lol.
Hi I am an empath . Every man I have ever dated has asked me to marry him . I have never been wealthy or gorgeous but I am beautiful and not average. I have the ability to connect with people and can sense peoples feelings . Never wanted a man who can’t communicate in a sincere way. Now I am at an age where sex is not important to me but sincere companionship and intelligent conversation are paramount. I may decide to stay single and devote myself to helping others . My life has been spent as a caregiver . So caring is #1. Wishing you all success in your life .God bless ❤
LOL! When you said "broken picker" I thought you said "broken pecker". 😁 Great video. Thanks!
Lol
Lol, me too right at first 😅
Preferences is essential knowledge is essential to be understood & accepted. Her mechanics. Secrets. Trust is best interests for her well being before . During. & AFTER & FUTURE HEALTH. WHOLEBODY!!.
You just validated my joke that meeting anyone at this age is about evaluating compatible baggage. It's either divorced, mental or still clueless. Different ball game than younger for sure.
Exactly!
When an ex was trying to be my 'friend' after he broke up with me, he hinted what would I think if he dressed as a woman? High heels, stockings etc? I freaked out then he backtracked and said a woman wanted him to dress that way, and he said no. I blocked him, and thought I had a lucky escape. Always felt he was hiding something big from me but not that.
yikes
@@eesynopsis7393 Yep can you imagine lol
He had a gross fetish. Good on you for blocking him
Don’t tell a potential partner anything you might regret because you might and probably would blame a potential breakup on telling him too much. Still tongue in a wise head ❤ Heartbreak Can be avoided! It is forever a miracle to me that relationships actually get to exist! I have liberated myself from the need to be in a relationship thus I am in the enviable position of rejoicing in the good relationships of those fortunate few couples whom I happen to know.
In regards to not sharing your insecurities and character flaws I think it's a good thing to do as long as you also follow up with the fact that you accept yourself fully the way that you are and love yourself the way that you are and realize you are all on a journey. Of course deeper in the relationship seriously, if you can't be real you're not with the right person
Ohhh yes!! I read the "Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer when I first separated. Amazing read!! It helped me begin the inner healing. ❤
IDK... when to share a "shame" story.... some things never need to be shared if you are not getting married. Think, if this relationship fails... what is this person going to "blah blah blah" about you ? TRUST is a thing, but idk... Just thinking out loud.
I've wasted 17 yrs on a narcissist he openly says he only cares about himself were in Thailand again he says the only reason he keeps me around is bc his family loves me he's56 very well off and only gives himself credit meanwhile I've allowed myself to give up my career family... Everything I don't even know how to start over at my age I thank God I've found your messages Ive been made to think to choose "the Love I think I deserve"
😂thought u said pecker he is so use to having handfuls of partners in front of my face I'm supposed to be in my"prime" safety first is my motto and everything in moderation but I know toxicity so now what we are fake then behind closed doors...
Oh how I loved the insight seminars I attended. Completely changed my life in a huge way. The Cocktail Party exercise completely chanced my life. I was forever chsnged by Insight Seminars.
Wonderful!
Why do I have to read lots of books to understand when others do just fine without it😢 I have too many other things to do in my life. It’s too much to have to make this a whole hobby. It seems like this should be much easier🤔if it’s not easy, maybe it’s not meant to be…
Some only ask for conversation sake.They are truly not interested in an answer.
Mr J. Aslay: you are genius! Your online webinars are super incredibly. I did not you exist unfortunately. If I knew you do the sort of online podcasts/lectures, I would join your TH-cam channel straight away. Thank you so much for what you do. It is super interesting, you are very approachable and speak in the matter, that it is understandable for everyone (regardless of their education, race, age, gender etc).
Thank you!
WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you share this video with friends?
Thanks a million for your program. I listen to it after midnight when I have nothing to distract me and I can think about what you said.
You're very welcome
Itold a guy one time I was dating for 3 months and told him that I don’t have playtime workout a relationship… he told me that he would never get into a relationship with a women he doesn’t have playtime with. He was crystal clear!!
i have purchased all the books you suggested, in audible format.
👍🏼
I LOVE BEING SINGLE ❤
Mature adult minded is best !!! Emotional vs Logical maturity . Good SENSE. Yes?😮
Open only when in a strong relationship
Amazing video, Jonathon! Thank you btw for being so transparent about yourself, it’s one of the reasons I love your content so much.
FYI “Tuesdays With Morrie” was written by Mitch Albom (writer from the Detroit Free Press)- one of my favourite books! I think you’d mentioned that Malcolm Gladwell wrote it. 🤗
My bad, you're correct... thanks 🙏
If I had a daughter I would install confidence in her. I would get her to educate and save money for security. To be healthy and look after skin and figure. Not to give body away and stay single unless they find a quality man!
We are brainwashed to think there is someone out there for everyone though.
So…, my experience is that I only had committed, monogamous relationships with men I‘m not initially attracted to…. However: these commitments represented a betrayal, as these men who only represented a compromise to me were never the ones being loyal, true, or cared about my needs….
Therefore, I‘m over this „dating the smaller guy“ … if I‘m not really attracted to a man physically, chances are it’s only downhill from there… usually there is no grand improvement or finale from there.
I was alone in all these compromise-relationships and I am alone all the time now… unless a man is truly I‘m looking for, I have no incentive to settle!!!
it was a instant connection we felt twice with seeing each other for first two time to paths crossing years later-We started dating and hit it off I was first women he publicly announced on FB he was with. We ended up married 5 months in and my kids gained a stepdad. Later I lost my mom and I did neglect him for 6 mths we ended up divorced but still when it came time for me to move out he didn’t want us to go. 5 years now we still live together but half the time I don’t know where we stand and I can walk out anytime he says the word- He tells me he doesn’t want us to leave that I need to just let things take it’s course?? My years are flying by and I want someone to share my life with! One minute he wants me the next he’s cold. I don’t know which way to go but he’s not the man I married and fell in love with And I don’t see that man coming back anytime soon-Btw we are not even friends on Facebook bc he says I would read into comments or likes ..he has broken my trust before-to me and maybe I am wrong but I think he wants a double life.
Get out now, run do not walk. You need to cut the cord. I lived with my husband for several years after the divorce and I can tell you it is a big mistake.
@@stephanie7572 I don’t understand why he’s breadcrumbed me all this time and for what reason
I’ve been listening to you for quite a few weeks now. Been very helpful and insightful. Thank you!
You are so welcome
After one month on Match, again no Match. Not for lack of effort. In the meantime, I watch your videos. Most live too far or want to have fun, no rush for a relationship.
How many messages did you get?
@@JonathonAslay very few, and nobody I would want. I did initiate over 25 emails. Some of those lived over an hour away due to lack of men in my area. I may have gotten maybe one email back but then it fizzled out. So after 1 month, I have nobody to pursue a relationship with.
i went on match for free , did not want to spend money. So hard to find an older guy where I live not a populated state!
@Libby Novotny I was doing the free week trials every few months. Got a great offer and tried. I agree. Finding someone not easy. I have willing to relocate on my profile too.
Nothing worse than “throwing pearls before swine!”
'. Emotionally constipated ? ' very interesting..😏😏
I like how you show your vulnerability...it makes you real!
I often told someone too much and they used it against me so now I don't know what or when to share something?
yeah I don't believe in having intimate relations with anyone but who you see a relationship forming and it often upset me at a man trying to get me into bed. It puts me off trying to date at all. I'm not interested in sleeping around.Also, I've met men who I was interested in me who slept with someone else while getting to know me, that hurt. If men don't like that themselves well it is one rule for them another for women? It's like they jeopardise it before it's begun, can't they keep it in their pants if they like you? obviously not enough.
Wow l can't imagine what you have been through, l only just found your videos. You beam wisdom and love, thank you
I've been through a lot...
Great video ! I really like your content and advice. 💝 Also I have been in situations where there were men that first were unsure and you could think they were emotionally constipated. Then they turn around. Anyway, I also think sharing details is a societal thing, here in Sweden we are very open and I´m kind of used to people sharing a lot of intimate details and I don´t really have problem sharing that either.
The sensitive information can be used against you if they are narcissistic
True Jonathon about the height thing, it's one thing we can't change is our height. I am 5"9 and have often dated men my height or even a little shorter.
If he asks -- especially if he asks -- about fmr lovers DO NOT answer. Just don't.
Thanks Jonathon you just woke me up.
You definitely don’t want to talk about sex with your past partners this goes for men and women
Yes
Is SHAME a Fear ?? Self love is not FEAR. 😊 REST AT EASE.
I am old now and wish I had the mind I have now when I was young. I haven't dated in decades, and it was a laughable endeavor even then. Sounds like people still need help not to sound like an idiot now. Good luck young people and just enjoy your moments.
I am grateful that cell phones were not a thing when I met my husband. We would either meet or talk on the phone for hours. We have been together 36 years now. I even tell my kids, sister and girlfriend that I prefer to meet or a phone conversation. I am not a texting fan. I can text but that is my last choice. 😁
If a man offered you a bouquet of RED FLAGS AND CRUMBS...RUN! 😂
Lol
If it doesn't enter into my thoughts I don't share it. The past is gone, looking forward is where we should be looking. You have plenty of time to lament life's mistakes when you are on your death bed where you won't bore people with it.
When a man complains about an ex when on a date, I have that person scratched off.
So I don't complain or take time away from them. It's one on one time. Don't bring in a 3rd
Exactly
I needed to hear rhis. Thank you.
This was a great talk. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
If you can't be your real self with your spouse then you aren't really married.
Yes this resonates with me. I want to know what you think; if you're dating a person and you've been dating let's say 5 months due to long distance (6 hrs) and you learn they have medical conditions and they don't show any interest in helping themselves. Examples would be eating healthier and exercise. I was brutally honest with him and did have a conversation about it but I never saw him take any initiative to do anything about it. He didn't take me serious until I ended it.
I learned a lot from this video! Wish I knew this info years ago.
Glad it was helpful!