Intimacy and physical touch are 2 different things. You can have physical touch and no intimacy. Its a lonely marriage when your spouse is not intimate trust me.
This is what i am experiencing with my husband. I don’t believe in the love languages either. People can have numerous love languages in my opinion so 🤷♀️
There are three parts to intimacy within the context of marriage. There is the spiritual, the emotional and the physical. Taking away any one of those will erode the intimacy from the other areas. Physical touch is most definitely part of intimacy. I think you’re getting confused with a booty call
Nearly 4 and it's so insane because we get along like best buddies and used to have a wonderful physical life. I don't want to leave but it's like torture and I feel like it's gotten to the point that it may be that I have to admit that I'm not strong enough to go on like this.
26 years of marriage with him on the road as a truck driver only home weekends. Myself being so lonely raising two sons and never sharing the really really hard issues of raising them in fear of him stressing out and him dieting from an accident while driving on Ice. He left me a long time ago. I don’t know what to do anymore. There is to m
In life you have to remember this you can't enforce your rules, your comfort to someone else, life is about accepting the struggle and just move on. Unfortunately we live in a world were most the time we can't live at our fullest according how we want
As man i can say, if my wife/gf wont let me touch her, BUT also dont want to talk about it with me i would just leave idgaf. Thats the same all women should do when the husband/bf is doing that shit
Imagine being a Christian believing you can’t divorce unless they hit you or cheat… just imagine. What then. I don’t even want to leave I just want him to go back to being him…
If someone is immature not to touch his wife and denied her regularly intimacy and connection and this man is okay with breaking her heart because his having “personal” issues he can’t share, then it is time to move on. And give him exactly what he deserves and needs: plenty of space and time so that he grows up by his lonesome self while she rebuilds her life away from Peter Pan. If you have kids, having a poor role model for a husband is not what any woman deserves, and her children deserve a better role model for a father. Just saying.
Honestly these relationships need Jesus in them. That's all there is to it. The devil wants you in bed before marriage and out of the bed during marriage.
@Viva Europa That is really what I am looking for in advice. Thanks. If someone finds themselves in this kind of situation, what can they ask Jesus for? Do they give their husband the space he asks for? How do they avoid the their own reaction of retaliating, while still giving space and focusing on themselves and building their own confidence back up? I've been in this for the long haul for a long time. It's been harder then I thought it would be.
30 years and not once have I ever rejected her. I can literally say I've never been too tired, never had a headache, and never wasn't in the mood. You get my point...
My husband kiss me everytime he leaves home and he holds my hand when we go to bed.Thats it.He have never said i look nice or look hot or anything like that.He is really hard to talk to. Growing up i lived with my mum.She was emotional abusive.She just sat there knitting.Never eye contact,short answers and could be silent for days.I could ask her and she looked at me and i would start to cry.I moved out as 16 yr living in a house with drug addicts or on the street.I was traumatised and was on drugs for yrs.Finally sober i am finding this guy that its the male version of my mother!I am in therapy now to build up some strenght so i can leave .We are just living together. We used to have sex but i got so tired of saying not so hard and not so fast.And when sex isnt good i dont care having sex.He never reach out to me so now we can go months without.They say you will find a partner that is like your parents and for my case its like that
I’m devastated. I can’t get through to my husband. We have been married for three years and are HS sweethearts that met up after 30years. Fell in love again or at least I did. Something recently changed. He is now my roommate. Thank you for this video. I feel more informed.
Porn is a huge part of why men dont want sex or even want to please you. When you do have sex he gets please and you get nothing. I've tried everything, I'm tired of the bikini photos, adding women friends who post seductive photos. Sad that stupid love languages don't cover the real problem...PORN.
Be careful about bolting if you have a roof over your head.you have supers,house,security.if their is no drugs or alcoholic issues.keep yourselves fresh and attractive.and stay together.the grass is not greener out in the wide world.im in my 60s and renting and working hard just to eat and pay rent.all because of a husband who had a mid life crises at 40.i took ill and he couldnt face it.i was off work for 6 months and he couldn't stand by me.
I got married 3 years before, at first everything was normal but we never got intimate after the day we got to know about my pregnancy , it's been over 2.5 years now.. he lost interest in me completely.. not even physical touch, affection, not even hugs..i tried a lot but nothing is arousing him towards me
It's okay. He isn't interested. You should understand this. I would say if you are open enough find someone who adores you and gives you what he doesn't.
Once I discovered my wife was cheating, I lost all interest in her. When she finally confronted me, I told her what I knew about her activities and made it clear I was there only for the kids (youngest was 13 at the time). She left the home, which was the best outcome for me.
It's best to be single it's peace of mind cos some men are a lot of work and I believe it's because a lot of them are not brought up by their fathers who are supposed to be great mentors and teach them how to treat the women in their lives. Every relationship thrive on communication so if men have difficulty communicating then what's the point being in a relationship with them it's too much work for a woman always trying to baby a grown ass man when she has kids to take care of. Men should rise up to be the leaders their wives need and not be babies
SHOUT IT from the mountain top!!! Women want 'real men' who are not boys in a man's body, who have courage, who are strong overall, who will communicate about the relationship (not sports/news/politics ALL THE TIME), who will HELP raise their own children, who will LEAD like a real leader, and who are not SELFISHHHHHHHH to the hilt! And who will actually love/die for their wife. Most men want a TON of RESPECT, but where is the SELFLESS LOVE for the wives??????
I just think at this point my husband is in denial about the lack of. We talked about it many times and it always turns to an argument. He says so put him down as a man. I try to talk to him to try to figure out where is the disconnect but get no where. Before he would make excuses for it because of his Heath situation and says he would try to get help. But I don’t know what came of it. It’s so frustrating because i literally tell him I need that from him but i feel like I get dismissed. He makes no effort to try but will have a list of reason why he couldn’t. I so fed up with always feeling rejected
@@kittyphillips2475 it's just over 4 years for me. Cannot help feeling like this is wrong... but I feel it's right for my kids... and he claims complete love always. Actions are crap. Just enough to look like he's perfect... he's crafty and careful but the pain only builds.
My husband is a sex /porn addict. He was bored before the ink was dry on our marriage license. I knew something was really wrong in the beginning, but he would look me straight in the eyes and lie and lie. Over time I had to finagle him just to get some intimacy. Other times he would act enthusiastic, but it was only an act. In the last year together, we had sex only 7 times. He couldn't look at my face ever. When I was a much younger woman I never knew this could happen, let alone to me. I used to be a red blooded woman, now all of that is dead and gone.
Been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an age gap, I'm 27 while he is 35 with a child already. And he always says hes going to open up one day but it only seems to get worse. He says he loves and cares for me, but now even sex is a problem. I try to make myself look nice, get my hair done, new clothing, I'm in great shape , and I barely get a glance. He blames his actions on him being so behind in life. Not sure if it's worth waiting anymore time.
Hey there, It looks like he has a lot of self work to do. I know hard hard It is to open up when you have so many suppressed emotions and insecurities that aren't being adressed.
@@CozyCowPooper whoa wait... I'm sure that's what he meant... girl you need to take care of yourself too... keep looking, keep researching and trying... but do not lose yourself. Find friends, distractions - positive ones. So you can bring more of yourself home to your family. Try not to expect and overnight changes. Happiness is infectious... how to get there for you will be your own task... but do not stop searching for the answer with the best feeling.
4 years 🤣 I’ve tried everything, making myself attractive, communicate , cook clean obey him I’ve tried everything and I asked him at the end babe please share with me what’s the problem , and his answer was my problem is YOU 🥺 . What should I do in this case?
I am so physically lonely in my marriage. I have no doubt that my husband adores me, but physical touch just isn’t important to him - like it never occurs to him as a possibility. I don’t know how to fill that very real void.
The 4th possibility he's cheating as it turned out he was getting everything he needed outside of the home so when he came home he was too tired and couldn't get it up
Lol you just said it out loud exactly the biggest truth in your life and still not getting it.HE WAS GETTING EVERYTHING HE NEEDED OUTSIDE OF THE HOME,why he was not getting it at home is my question! In this case that he cheated on you is just on you lady nobody else. Look into the mirror and blame yourself nobody else. Or better said,just congratulate yourself how you just achieved exactly what you wanted and now want to act like a victim. Even the stupid can see that.
Me and my husband are not in good terms for more than two weeks. I don't know how to manage my relationship. Iam only suffering this man for my children.
@bigboy11271 i stopped advancing 15 years ago. I had been rejected so many times that I said "that's it" I will never again pursue this woman for my needs. So sex has been strictly on her terms since then. There have been 7 sexual experiences in 15 years. That's about once every 2 years. I'm nearing a decision on this . She is in therapy to try to fix it. I have my doubts
You speak so clearly and straight to the point, everything you say makes sense. Thank you. In laws can also lead to you not wanting to touch your partner
Yes, after 24 yrs of verbal abuse, I have said I never want to see him mummy anymore as they are enmeshed, not wanting to hurt him or stop him from seeing her, but rather protecting myself from her rudeness. He has recoiled, instead of the usual touch, hugging etc scary!!
I am married 24 years together with him 30 years and he has told me he loved me only twice. I read about something called intimacy anorexia and that’s what he has. He doesn’t wanna have sex with me so we haven’t had sex in seven years because I gained about 80 pounds. I just lost 65 pounds and he still doesn’t complement me or try to have sex with me.
Hi Lynn, First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing your story. Also, congratulations on your weight loss journey, that is AMAZING! I say that to bring up this point, do not put your own happiness and success in the hands of another individual. If you do, they have the ability to nurture it or crush it. Be proud of yourself for your achievements. I would recommend putting yourself back on the pedestal and focusing a little more on your own personal happiness. - Coach Danny
He has issues not you, focus on yourself and you are not been selfish when you do love yourself loose wait for you and your health not for him obviously you can't make him happy and you can't make him happy so happy yourself
Dont forget its a thing what goes both ways! When the men gets rejected by her woman constantly dont blame on him when going to sleep with other woman.
My husband touched 2 times by his own choice, but now its been 8 months always I pull him, he dont even cuddle at night. I am dying inside, why, why he is not touching me ? 😭
my husband is the same Hes never been the type to just reach out in bed, even though he seemed to more when we were sexually active But ever since he lost his ability, (about two whole years now) NOTHIING AT ALL So me, knowing that he was never the touchy type, I decided to never reach over to his side of the bed But then, stupid me, after two years I rolled over and put my arm around him and he was so stiff and unresponsive Its a horrible feeling Im dead sure that Ill never do it again Its very demeaning even though its your partner, it still made me feel embarrassed or desperate even though I wasnt trying to initiate sex
Societal pressures to quash any kind of masculine behaviour as it is deemed toxic has a large part to play. I always waited for my (feminist) wife to initiate as I didn't want to make any kind of unwanted advance and end up being labelled creepy, pervy or straight up sex mad which is the default feminine response to a mans natural sexual behaviour these days. So instead, I worked my arse off to show her how much I loved her. We're divorced now, basically because I didn't worship her crotch enough. Oh well... At least I have peace now, I won't be heading back to the plantation ever again. Well done ladies, you've collectively made men afraid to be men then wonder why you don't get regularly pounced on in the bedroom. Slow clap..... Great work girls, way to ruin literally everything! .
@@akashganga7844 I know it kills you from inside if you have an unemotional husband..I have been living with one for last 20 years..it is demeaning for a wife to beg to her husband for loving and touching and trust me when I say that you won't get any by begging also...if you don't hv kids I would strongly suggest to divorce him and find a person who is really interested in loving you and living with you...don't stay....these people don't change....and if kids are there you can't leave but you will be dying a slow death everyday and they still don't change....leave him girl
Thank you Danny for advise. I discovered thru experience your reason for a man coldness are all true. Especially if he’s interested or involved with 3rd party.
My husbands 3rd party is his mum, who verbally abuses me and after 24 yrs, I have said I no longer want to see her. I'm scared now cause I've always been forced to see her no matter her disrespectful attitude towards me. I got sick in the process and am trying to heal myself but him pulling away is showing me he chooses his mum over me.
If i have a husband that doesn't "touch" me, then what's the point to stay in such a marriage or relationship ? I'd rather be single then staying in a celibate marriage/rrlationship. If something is bothering you, we should be able to talk about it. That's why I'm your wife, so I have to help you find a solution together. Don't you want that ? Then very soon our paths will part !
I’ve been married 50 years and I know my husband is board with me sexually. I’ve tried to keep him interested but it gets harder all the time. I just don’t know what to do about him. He treats me like a sister more than a wife. No hugs or kisses. I have kept myself in good shape, my hair is nice, I consider myself attractive but he just is dead. Should I just let it go?
My husband constantly tells me he wants freedom and independence and it hurts my feelings. I just want him to spend more time with me. He tells me to be independent. I didn't get married to be independent. What should we do we've been married for 10 yrs I'm worried and don't want to divorce.
I think he likes to spend funtime with friends There's nothing wrong in it My girlfriend also wants spend most of times with me but we can't do it Bcz I like to play cricket with my friends So I think your husband HV some addcition towards playing or conversations with friends You both should do conversation about it(sorry for bad English) It's my third language
my partner never touched me for years, we never argued…i later discovered he was getting his needs met elsewhere ( escorts). i ended the relationship after 12 years of wasted life. betrayed
Less than a year into our marriage and I already feel like he doesn't want me anymore. We had a baby together last year, in November, but all the entire year his physical affection has dwindled. If his love language, but he gradually stopped trying to be intimate with me. I've tried to initiate with him, I get rejected. He never initiates or even tries anymore. He gives me compliments that fall on deaf ears because he does not act like he's attracted to me. I feel he just wants a roommate for company, not a friend and lover. Not a real marriage. I always let him do things his way, I don't badger or nitpick. We both have our own way if doing things, like the dishes, and I just let him be. He knows that I respect him, but I'm sick of the lack of intimacy. It's gotten to the point where I frequently have dreams about it at night.😢
My husband just tells me it isn’t his love language. He does acts of services for me, which is nice but that’s all i get no touch really. Kiss here and there but that’s it.
The point of knowing love languages is so you can love the other one how they feel loved and you can tell them how to love you. If his love language is act of service, great! Do it for him! If yours is physical touch then he should do it for you! He is using love language to justify selfishness instead of loving effectively and consciously.
Yes he does acts of service for me. Not thY I don't appreciate it but it's not how I feel loved. He doesn't kiss me or touch me no hugs and no sex if I don't initiate any of it. It was not like this when we were dating.
I'm with you Tina and mine is acts of service too. I never ever get touched. It's horrible and I have asked him and told him what I'd like. I get a peck every now then. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Ill say this to any woman, micromanaging your man and being bossy is a surefire way to turn him off. My wife is the "corporate" type and she micromanages me and it makes me go so limp. Its from asking me "do you have everything?" to "did you shut the door?" "Did you close the cabinet?". It makes you feel like you're married to your mom. Just be soft ladies. I dont know why its so hard, but dont be that kind of wife. If you see something that needs to be adjusted, just do it yourself. Only ask your husband to do something big, like help move something or pay for something or drive you somewhere.
Watching I was losing hope of finding advice. I know my man loves me & we have a good relationship. 15 years, no fights, no arguments that lasted over a few hours, no infidelity. Our communication is strong, and we have a lot of trust. He just doesn’t touch me unless he’s actively seeking sex. He falls under the love language category & I’m glad you included it. Now, I’m going to finish the video & hopefully find some ideas on how I can adjust to it or not take it personally.
I have asked for a divorce several times. He calls me stupid and he is going to take care of me. We havent had close contact in the last 16 years and we have been together 33 years. I can number the times of close contact on my fingers and toes. He got to where he used close contact as a reward if I did something he wanted...
Ironically we argue less than we ever have . I’ve asked him why one month ago he suddenly stopped sleeping with me especially as we had just purchased a new bed. His answer was incredulous as he says he doesn’t like sleeping in beds ! So I asked him outright , is it because you prefer not to sleep with me . Is reply was , no. I’m not so concerned why he doesn’t sleep with me , I’m concerned about his ridiculous reasons lol
My husband said his love language is physical touch, but it is not happening. He did cheat year 3 of marriage. Counseling was interesting and not in a good way. He was using online atforms to hook up. Now we are year 8. This is his 3rd marriage. I think this flame is burning out.
We're so sorry to hear about this. If you need to speak with a coach one on one, I would highly suggest you do so with this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ -HC Team
Hi Carol, Thank you so much for sharing. I would recommend the following two things: 1. Have a conversation with your partner about the lack of intimacy and try to understand why it has faded. 2. Take the lead. I know that rejection can be scary but sometimes we have to show our partner exactly what it is we want or like. If none of these work for you, I would recommend taking a step back and evaluating the relationship. Is this something that is fulfilling? Is it meeting your needs/expectations? Is there any unresolved conflict that is resulting in lack of intimacy? External stressors? etc. - Coach Danny
Between the alcohol, his addictions, his lies and lack of remembering anything ( seriously ) I’m married to a ghost. I would love information about no sex, no touch, alcoholism and no connection.
If the spiritual connection is not from our God Almighty creator of heaven and earth and everything in it, do not get into it. It is evil and it may create more problems than you already have. Trust God only because He will hear your prayer if you have faith in Him. God bless you and give you peace that comes from Him.
So we literally stop having frequent sex before we got married and I’m feeling like it’s forced at this point we haven’t made it a year and it’s like I’m really sad like you won’t let me leave but you won’t touch me either something has to give because I haven’t taken anything from him out our relationship and he knows I’m intimate
Going through this. He said it's because I don't listen I'm trying but when I do things right ,something else irritates him. I don't dress up because we never go anywhere. I just feel like it'll be better to add a sexual partner for me so I don't bother him. We always argue. I shut down and feel so bad that I cut my face to feel better. I'm confused and don't know what to do
Hi Ericka, thank you so much for sharing your story. Self-inflicted harm is a very serious matter. I would highly recommend seeking a licensed psychotherapist to help you explore your emotions/situation. You can click on the following link to find a therapist in your are: www.psychologytoday.com - Coach Danny
My boyfriend has been with me for over 3 years. since i had a miscarriage, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because he is afraid that we have abby and miscarriage again. After 3 months, no sex is happening because he says he is tired and I know we are equally tired. after 5 months we were joking and I asked my boyfriend why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. He said that I'm not as sexy as I used to be. My belly is getting bigger and my body is no longer sexy. At first I was hurt but I asked myself if it's normal for men to prefer a sexy body. My boyfriend is nice, he never cheats on me. I saw his phone, social media and also his colleagues, he always picked me up after my work. please help me to explain to me this situation.
I stopped the video when he said “No.1 he is going through something” women often get blamed on communication when menu go through something that can’t be communicated
I agree with you. Women are also going through something. Rejection,sadness,etc when there is no intimacy. You can try communicate with your husband's but if they are not willing to put the work in as well,what can you do. A relationship needs both parties to put in the work .
I have a problem with intimate touching because my spouse rarely has sex with me. Hugging, touching, kissing has all become more difficult for me because it reminds me that we're not having sex. Every touch and every intimate moment is poisoned for me because I know they have walls up and are not completely comfortable being with me physically. We're talking through it. There are a lot of details I'm leaving out, but I avoid touch because I feel like I'm being treated like a teddy bear, not like a husband.
Hi what happens if that is going on for over 5 years. Does he still need time. He Shows others more love languages than his wife. Yes there are kids and he ignore them as well. 🤷♀️
My husband used to touch me a lot now he hardly touches me when I talk to him about it he tells me sorry and he does be affectionate for a few days then he go back to the way it was before I don't know what is the problem then when we are intimate he hardly touches me also I'm a very affectionate person is there something I can do to help get it the way it used to be we have also decided to go get counseling for other issues
@@Bell-wh4vm then he needs to get the F on… he not being held hostage… see proves my point males make shit difficult, and want to see agony… it ain’t even that type of party. He just don’t love himself other than that he is a deranged individual. Who does that? Other than sadistic fakes.
She didn't want s-x, and I didn't want to be miserable. I stopped doing all the things that caused me to desire it. That included touching, etc. Bear in mind, I wasn't trying to punish her. I just focused on what I could change - my behavior.
Been patient for 6 plus years. Ive communicated how i feel throughout that time. Ive asked what he needs from me. All i get is that im pretty much the perfect wife and he doesnt know why he doesnt give me the attention and love that i deserve. Thing is he STOPPED being affectionate ... so he knows how to. Just doesn't. Tired of communicating it . At this poit im done of living without affection. I tried from the very beginning to nip it in the butt ... he never took me serious. Now we're here .. now that im done he finally gets it.
Nah, he is just sleeping with your friends and is a narcissist. Don't buy it ladies. They want you to feel bad about yourself. Don't waste your time. It's cruel. Find someone who adores you.
Can someone please give me advice on my situation. I’m 26, no kids, very few sexual partners in my past & medium to high sex drive, fit body, work full time and pay all my own bills, I’m college educated and my boyfriend who I have been with for 2 years has always had an issue having sex with me. It’s been 27 days now on this particular streak and I feel very hurt. I do all of the sexy things that people say to do and still he doesn’t want me
Id argue that men don’t want to speak because everything we want to say would upset her, especially if she’s our stressor. Anything we bring up is just going to be blown up and would turn into an argument. And then, when women want to do nothing but talk and bicker, it fosters further anxiety and stress 🤷🏼♂️ 100% Truth
Hi Nick., Just a small thought, What about having therapy both alone and with your spouse! My husband, has refused any form of help, therapy or counselling or cognitive behavioural skills! He’s rejected God to😢 He wasn’t allowed to speak as a Child/ he had Extremely Over Strict Parents! He was not taught Boundaries! I’m still around., but not sure for how much longer! Every one says there’s nil more I can do for him! He has to now Try to help himself! Bless you! 🙏🏻
Such true. My wife is like that. No matter how good i am there is always (And if need create a situation to be)something to complain or get angry about.
Well I'm a woman, and I keep bringing stuff up because it's not fixed... I feel my guy would like it if I just smiled regardless of what he is doing that's hurtful... I think things would be much better if he also took the time and energy to notice when something is off acá then assessed it.... That way I wouldn't have to complain... My point is, take charge, educate your wife i on how to communicate respectfully... Get o the problem before she does... Dunno. My two cents
I really appreciate this video! I would really like to be able to get more info on this or be able to talk to someone. I also feel like I can relate to most of the things you said. I have talked to my husband many times and he says he gets where I’m coming from, but then after a few days or a week he’s unconsciously doing the same things again. Also Im the only relationship he has had in his life (32yo) so I feel like a lot of time it’s just the simple fact that relationship stiff is over all new to him.
I'm glad the video was helpful for you. I understand what you're going through. ⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373 Coach Natalie
Well this is BS. Ladies your husband/long term boyfriend is not touching you anymore because he is sick of the rejection. It’s that simple. He has most likely gotten to the paint where he would rather not try to touch you then get pushed away because you are to busy or sweaty or tired. It’s not because he has something else on his mind. It’s years packed on years of getting shot down and being treated like a room mate.
My boyfriend treats me like a roommate. It's only me initiating. Now, after a last brutal rejection where he literally threw me off the bed, I stopped initiating. Now I want to cheat on him or break up. Talking to him hasn't worked.
Well, I have a tendency of shutting down and going off and living my own life when I am repeatedly rejected as someone else said here why try anymore? Every time it is brought up. I am punished and attacked for very gently expressing my feelings. This is a second marriage and I feel very duped. He was completely different when we were dating. His adult son moved in with us and that made things very difficult and I think honestly there’s just a ton of resentment he’s not willing to let go of.
I am an Indian women … I am married from last 5 years and my husband doesn’t find me attractive bcz f my weight .. I live in usa n doesn’t dressed up like sexy women .. though I wear jeans n dress but doesn’t look good in that dress .. From last 5 years he is asking me to loose weight , put lipstic , dolled up … I don’t understand why this craziness.. I literally cry every day bcz now every 1 is asking me for child n I don’t hv ans for this … on my ovulation time also v usually fight bcz he comes for sex n watch xvideos .. I feel so irritated..
What if he always has some sort of reason as to why when you ask. I can’t help but assume he isnt into me … he’s a lovely man I al,ost would prefer him to say he’s gay at this point
From personal experience i dont understand why anyone is so hung up about not having sex. For me it was and is the biggest letdown in life. Alot of hype but no real reward. That with my wifes lack of interest in it really lends to the thought its nothing amazing. Or i just suck at it and have no feeling. Any thoughts
@@idwtbam smh so her partner is saying that she really hurt him physically and emotionally and your response is to go to a domestic violence shelter because she’s the one being abused??????? Smh
@@beach_boy1141 A guy who "makes you cheat" is a cuck. A woman who was also into that sort of thing wouldn't feel guilty. That's manipulated behavior. Along with the "it's your fault..." yeah, he's an abuser. If you can't see that, then you're likely in a toxic relationship yourself. I'd suggest you find love in yourself and then perhaps elsewhere.
@@idwtbam I think u misunderstood what she was saying. She is blaming the man for her going out and cheating. I could be wrong but I don’t think he physically forced her to cheat. She decided to cheat and blames it on the man. Would u have that same energy if a man was having sex and affection withheld from him would u call the woman a abuser? Would you say the man was forced to cheat if he went looking elsewhere while still in the relationship? Would u say he should be in a domestic violence shelter?
Wanted to say thanks for advice well let me say my husband and I have be together for 30+ yes.He is my bestfriend but he hasn't kissed or touched me for going on 5 yes.Its strange and makes me feel ugly.Thanks for a little vent.
So coddle him like a baby? Men need to grow up. Why is it always the women need to be understanding and try to coax them into being human? Then when we do they accuse us of trying to control them or are needy and they want to be left alone. It’s exhausting.
My husband hasn’t touched me in almost 10 years. He had a medical emergency that resulted in him having a portion of his colon removed and that left him with a colostomy. I have been supportive. I have assured him that I still find him attractive and want a physical relationship. I have backed off and gave him space. I’m pretty sure I have tried to be as supportive as I can possibly be. He is (or was, it’s been so long I don’t know for sure anymore) able to get an erection. Around five years ago I was having a really hard time dealing with feeling rejected and unloved and told him I was going to start having sex again whether he was a participant or not, it worked fine twice in a week after saying that, but he hasn’t touched me since. We are roommates at this point. Empty nesters and I took the empty room as soon as our youngest moved out. He is always short tempered and seems annoyed with me just being around. Is there hope for our relationship or will I be lonely and depressed for the rest of my life?
Hi there, Thank you so much for sharing this with us. We're sorry to hear about the difficult situation you have to go through! I know our coaches can help you with this but they would need to have a complete understanding of your situation before giving you proper advice. I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with us using this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ -HC Team
Im 36w pregnant today It’s been 3+ weeks for us He still hugs & kisses me Says I love you Everytime I bring up seggs I get ignored 😢 Idk what to think other than I’m not attractive anymore & he only loves me as a person. I really wanna have it a few times before baby comes because it’ll go even longer
We dont argue, we are well. Just he is workaholic because of his strict boss. But for 7 years of marriage he lost his passion he doesnt want sex, only once a month. I dont know what to do anymore. He told me that its not my fault. And i have to be patient. But nothing changed. He just try to keep me happy in other things so i will not divorce him. But this is unfair for me....
Hi there! We're so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your husband. I know our coaches would love to help you with this issue. I would highly suggest you book a coaching call with one of our coaches so they can help you through this issue. Please use this link to view our coaching rates and sessions: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ -HC Team
If sex or physical touch isn't his love language, then he shouldn't con you into marriage. You have vows. How dare anyone sentence a person into a lifeless, loveless existence. It's despicable.
If you are still fielding questions on this topic…My situation is reversed in that it’s my wife that has changed. Before marriage neither of us could get enough of the other. Of course I expected the excitement, frequency of and the intensity to drop after marriage. Honeymoon stage ending, it happens. We wanted a child together so we tried and there came a time that I had to go to my doctor to get that little pill to help me at times. Fast forward to after our son was born and when the change occurred. First 7-8 months after I didn’t even try to start the highest level of intimacy because her body had to heal. I was denied. (Shorten the story) Two years later I asked her to go to counseling, she did-2times. My love language is physical touch hers is acts of service. Our son is 13 now and the denial of physical touch is literally that she doesn’t want me to touch her at all. No hugs, no holding hands, not even in the bed we share when I sleep. I’m a side sleeper and have chronic pain so I turn over frequently, apparently one night I woke her when my arm and hand was touching her back. We now have a pillow wall between us to stop that. I could go on and on but the jest is she has drastically changed. Even her closest and lifelong friends say that she isn’t the same person they knew. So that’s where I am. I have initiated many changes of myself, small steps to get us back to where we were. She point blank told me that if I was changing in hopes that she will give in that I was wasting my time. So here I am, I have the woman that I love right in front of me and all I can do is serve her without touching her. I have started calling her my sunshine, from the classic song. She doesn’t realize I’m sending a message because she doesn’t know what the song is really about.,. Any advice?
Maybe it's a health/ hormonal issue... If there's such a drastic change after childbirth, it could be that.... Document yourself and keep your eyes open... Sleeping, eating patterns hair, nails etc
He did not have sex for 2 years and i found out the massage women in his whatsapp.. then he wanted sex all the sudden and all the sudden opened up about what i said about him and his family to his brother's wife has hurt him a lot... anyways after apology also he did have sex but now again no sex i feel devastated... he said he never cheated on me and all but i feel confused with him
1. The husband creates an environment where the wife cannot prioritize her physical appearance. 2. The husband makes the wife and entire family unhappy.
Just a comment to help with engagement... The gentleman doing this video does not seem to understand just how simple and straightforward men are. Instead of skirting the issue, why not tell your audience the truth? Eliminate every problem within your control, then look to your man as the problem. It is a great way to live....
What if for 6 years he initiated everything and after 6 years he fell out of love & now it has to be me for the last 2 months initiating everything. I never get rejected but takes a tow to start every single time
Intimacy and physical touch are 2 different things. You can have physical touch and no intimacy. Its a lonely marriage when your spouse is not intimate trust me.
This is what i am experiencing with my husband. I don’t believe in the love languages either. People can have numerous love languages in my opinion so 🤷♀️
Would you agree or disagree with intimacy and sex are different?
There are three parts to intimacy within the context of marriage. There is the spiritual, the emotional and the physical. Taking away any one of those will erode the intimacy from the other areas. Physical touch is most definitely part of intimacy. I think you’re getting confused with a booty call
So so true it's totally a lonely marriage! I'm going through it and it sucks!😢
You guys might consider the love triangle- intimacy, commitment, and passion. All are needed for a healthy relationship.
8 yrs of empathy and patience is no longer going through something..it's a narcissistic symptom.
Nearly 4 and it's so insane because we get along like best buddies and used to have a wonderful physical life. I don't want to leave but it's like torture and I feel like it's gotten to the point that it may be that I have to admit that I'm not strong enough to go on like this.
How is it narcissistic
I’d rather have a divorce than live the rest of my life pining for touch or affection… It’s a deal breaker for me…
Same
Same!
26 years of marriage with him on the road as a truck driver only home weekends. Myself being so lonely raising two sons and never sharing the really really hard issues of raising them in fear of him stressing out and him dieting from an accident while driving on Ice.
He left me a long time ago.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
There is to m
In life you have to remember this you can't enforce your rules, your comfort to someone else, life is about accepting the struggle and just move on. Unfortunately we live in a world were most the time we can't live at our fullest according how we want
If he refused to say it
We never get to know a person no matter how long you have been together. Believe me
I keep telling people that!!!…
100% agreed!!
That's what my great grandma used to say..true facts!
You can go your whole life without even knowing yourself.
Yup! People change
As man i can say, if my wife/gf wont let me touch her, BUT also dont want to talk about it with me i would just leave idgaf. Thats the same all women should do when the husband/bf is doing that shit
Imagine being a Christian believing you can’t divorce unless they hit you or cheat… just imagine. What then. I don’t even want to leave I just want him to go back to being him…
Thank you for the support and your honesty.
And if you’ve been married for 50 years and he haven’t touched you for over a year. Should I leave him? When I need him or turn to another man?
If someone is immature not to touch his wife and denied her regularly intimacy and connection and this man is okay with breaking her heart because his having “personal” issues he can’t share, then it is time to move on. And give him exactly what he deserves and needs: plenty of space and time so that he grows up by his lonesome self while she rebuilds her life away from Peter Pan. If you have kids, having a poor role model for a husband is not what any woman deserves, and her children deserve a better role model for a father. Just saying.
Honestly these relationships need Jesus in them. That's all there is to it. The devil wants you in bed before marriage and out of the bed during marriage.
Typical female answer.
Correct
@Viva Europa That is really what I am looking for in advice. Thanks. If someone finds themselves in this kind of situation, what can they ask Jesus for? Do they give their husband the space he asks for? How do they avoid the their own reaction of retaliating, while still giving space and focusing on themselves and building their own confidence back up? I've been in this for the long haul for a long time. It's been harder then I thought it would be.
Calling someone insecure for not sleeping with you? Huh...
20 years and I feel alone and rejected
19 faithful years to find out he's been cheating for 4 years !!! UGGH I'm sick and done
I'm right there with you sebrina.
30 years and not once have I ever rejected her. I can literally say I've never been too tired, never had a headache, and never wasn't in the mood. You get my point...
Me too. 32 years. I’m tired. I’m done.
This is how I feel.
My husband kiss me everytime he leaves home and he holds my hand when we go to bed.Thats it.He have never said i look nice or look hot or anything like that.He is really hard to talk to.
Growing up i lived with my mum.She was emotional abusive.She just sat there knitting.Never eye contact,short answers and could be silent for days.I could ask her and she looked at me and i would start to cry.I moved out as 16 yr living in a house with drug addicts or on the street.I was traumatised and was on drugs for yrs.Finally sober i am finding this guy that its the male version of my mother!I am in therapy now to build up some strenght so i can leave .We are just living together.
We used to have sex but i got so tired of saying not so hard and not so fast.And when sex isnt good i dont care having sex.He never reach out to me so now we can go months without.They say you will find a partner that is like your parents and for my case its like that
People do not know what they actually have..
I’m devastated. I can’t get through to my husband. We have been married for three years and are HS sweethearts that met up after 30years. Fell in love again or at least I did. Something recently changed. He is now my roommate. Thank you for this video. I feel more informed.
You're not alone.
Same here
I am so sorry. I hope things are better now
Same 😢
It’s heartbreaking to go through it makes you feel repulsive
The one big problem you forgot to mention is porn! It changes their brains and they don't want true love making intimacy with a real woman!
Can you explain why? I'm dealing with this😔
Porn is a huge part of why men dont want sex or even want to please you. When you do have sex he gets please and you get nothing. I've tried everything, I'm tired of the bikini photos, adding women friends who post seductive photos. Sad that stupid love languages don't cover the real problem...PORN.
Yessss!!!
Be careful about bolting if you have a roof over your head.you have supers,house,security.if their is no drugs or alcoholic issues.keep yourselves fresh and attractive.and stay together.the grass is not greener out in the wide world.im in my 60s and renting and working hard just to eat and pay rent.all because of a husband who had a mid life crises at 40.i took ill and he couldnt face it.i was off work for 6 months and he couldn't stand by me.
I got married 3 years before, at first everything was normal but we never got intimate after the day we got to know about my pregnancy , it's been over 2.5 years now.. he lost interest in me completely.. not even physical touch, affection, not even hugs..i tried a lot but nothing is arousing him towards me
It's okay. He isn't interested. You should understand this. I would say if you are open enough find someone who adores you and gives you what he doesn't.
Did your body change?
Amazing how he turned it around and made it about her.
Because it is.
@@annabanana2623 🎯
Because it is.
Once I discovered my wife was cheating, I lost all interest in her. When she finally confronted me, I told her what I knew about her activities and made it clear I was there only for the kids (youngest was 13 at the time). She left the home, which was the best outcome for me.
It's best to be single it's peace of mind cos some men are a lot of work and I believe it's because a lot of them are not brought up by their fathers who are supposed to be great mentors and teach them how to treat the women in their lives. Every relationship thrive on communication so if men have difficulty communicating then what's the point being in a relationship with them it's too much work for a woman always trying to baby a grown ass man when she has kids to take care of. Men should rise up to be the leaders their wives need and not be babies
Preach it, sister! And the church said, "Amen"
100 % agree!!!🤦♀️
So true
1000% Agreed. It’s all about mentoring.
SHOUT IT from the mountain top!!! Women want 'real men' who are not boys in a man's body, who have courage, who are strong overall, who will communicate about the relationship (not sports/news/politics ALL THE TIME), who will HELP raise their own children, who will LEAD like a real leader, and who are not SELFISHHHHHHHH to the hilt! And who will actually love/die for their wife. Most men want a TON of RESPECT, but where is the SELFLESS LOVE for the wives??????
My husband hasn't touched me in a long time but expects me to touch him we've talked and he just says he isn't in the mood
I just got told over Christmas that my long term boyfriend doesnt like my body. He wants me to buy boobs.... I showed him the door.
I just think at this point my husband is in denial about the lack of. We talked about it many times and it always turns to an argument. He says so put him down as a man. I try to talk to him to try to figure out where is the disconnect but get no where. Before he would make excuses for it because of his Heath situation and says he would try to get help. But I don’t know what came of it. It’s so frustrating because i literally tell him I need that from him but i feel like I get dismissed. He makes no effort to try but will have a list of reason why he couldn’t.
I so fed up with always feeling rejected
When you have been rejected for so long, why try ?
This struck my soul.😞
The truth!!!!!
😞 exactly, married 5yrs, and I get nothing but hopeless and lonely.
Because we love them?? The commitment means something to us.
@@kittyphillips2475 it's just over 4 years for me. Cannot help feeling like this is wrong... but I feel it's right for my kids... and he claims complete love always. Actions are crap. Just enough to look like he's perfect... he's crafty and careful but the pain only builds.
My husband is a sex /porn addict. He was bored before the ink was dry on our marriage license.
I knew something was really wrong in the beginning, but he would look me straight in the eyes and lie and lie. Over time I had to finagle him just to get some intimacy. Other times he would act enthusiastic, but it was only an act. In the last year together, we had sex only 7 times. He couldn't look at my face ever.
When I was a much younger woman I never knew this could happen, let alone to me. I used to be a red blooded woman, now all of that is dead and gone.
Same with my husband 😢
Been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an age gap, I'm 27 while he is 35 with a child already. And he always says hes going to open up one day but it only seems to get worse. He says he loves and cares for me, but now even sex is a problem. I try to make myself look nice, get my hair done, new clothing, I'm in great shape , and I barely get a glance. He blames his actions on him being so behind in life. Not sure if it's worth waiting anymore time.
Hey there,
It looks like he has a lot of self work to do. I know hard hard It is to open up when you have so many suppressed emotions and insecurities that aren't being adressed.
@@HappilyCommitted yes I completely agree, years of heart break I guess did that to him. Thank you, I'll keep giving him my all. 🖤🖤🖤
@@CozyCowPooper whoa wait... I'm sure that's what he meant... girl you need to take care of yourself too... keep looking, keep researching and trying... but do not lose yourself. Find friends, distractions - positive ones. So you can bring more of yourself home to your family. Try not to expect and overnight changes. Happiness is infectious... how to get there for you will be your own task... but do not stop searching for the answer with the best feeling.
It’s not…. Mine did all of that stuff and stillnothing no change forget it!
Get out now, it doesn’t get better, it gets worse
4 years 🤣 I’ve tried everything, making myself attractive, communicate , cook clean obey him I’ve tried everything and I asked him at the end babe please share with me what’s the problem , and his answer was my problem is YOU 🥺 . What should I do in this case?
If you’re an independent and a choice to live without him then leaaaaavvveee ! For your best future!
Katy if you are a believer of Christ I'd really try to get him in church.
What if we have a baby ?
Same
This comment is 2 years old. Are you still together and touching each other?
I am so physically lonely in my marriage. I have no doubt that my husband adores me, but physical touch just isn’t important to him - like it never occurs to him as a possibility. I don’t know how to fill that very real void.
The 4th possibility he's cheating as it turned out he was getting everything he needed outside of the home so when he came home he was too tired and couldn't get it up
Lol you just said it out loud exactly the biggest truth in your life and still not getting it.HE WAS GETTING EVERYTHING HE NEEDED OUTSIDE OF THE HOME,why he was not getting it at home is my question! In this case that he cheated on you is just on you lady nobody else. Look into the mirror and blame yourself nobody else. Or better said,just congratulate yourself how you just achieved exactly what you wanted and now want to act like a victim. Even the stupid can see that.
Me and my husband are not in good terms for more than two weeks. I don't know how to manage my relationship. Iam only suffering this man for my children.
After 20 years of my wife rejecting my advances…guess what I stopped advancing! She finally got what she had shaped for so long.
@bigboy11271 i stopped advancing 15 years ago. I had been rejected so many times that I said "that's it" I will never again pursue this woman for my needs. So sex has been strictly on her terms since then. There have been 7 sexual experiences in 15 years. That's about once every 2 years. I'm nearing a decision on this . She is in therapy to try to fix it. I have my doubts
You speak so clearly and straight to the point, everything you say makes sense. Thank you. In laws can also lead to you not wanting to touch your partner
Yes, after 24 yrs of verbal abuse, I have said I never want to see him mummy anymore as they are enmeshed, not wanting to hurt him or stop him from seeing her, but rather protecting myself from her rudeness. He has recoiled, instead of the usual touch, hugging etc scary!!
I am married 24 years together with him 30 years and he has told me he loved me only twice. I read about something called intimacy anorexia and that’s what he has. He doesn’t wanna have sex with me so we haven’t had sex in seven years because I gained about 80 pounds. I just lost 65 pounds and he still doesn’t complement me or try to have sex with me.
Hi Lynn,
First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing your story. Also, congratulations on your weight loss journey, that is AMAZING! I say that to bring up this point, do not put your own happiness and success in the hands of another individual. If you do, they have the ability to nurture it or crush it. Be proud of yourself for your achievements. I would recommend putting yourself back on the pedestal and focusing a little more on your own personal happiness.
- Coach Danny
@@HappilyCommitted thank you
He has issues not you, focus on yourself and you are not been selfish when you do love yourself loose wait for you and your health not for him obviously you can't make him happy and you can't make him happy so happy yourself
Damn, I’ve lost 20lbs and he hasn’t mentioned it. I was trying to lose 50lbs in hopes that he might notice me 😭
You deserve more than that. It’s time to consider leaving him. You shouldn’t have to beg your spouse to notice you.
Don’t get mad when the affair happens then 😏
Dont forget its a thing what goes both ways! When the men gets rejected by her woman constantly dont blame on him when going to sleep with other woman.
My husband touched 2 times by his own choice, but now its been 8 months always I pull him, he dont even cuddle at night. I am dying inside, why, why he is not touching me ? 😭
my husband is the same Hes never been the type to just reach out in bed, even though he seemed to more when we were sexually active But ever since he lost his ability, (about two whole years now) NOTHIING AT ALL So me, knowing that he was never the touchy type, I decided to never reach over to his side of the bed But then, stupid me, after two years I rolled over and put my arm around him and he was so stiff and unresponsive Its a horrible feeling Im dead sure that Ill never do it again Its very demeaning even though its your partner, it still made me feel embarrassed or desperate even though I wasnt trying to initiate sex
@@marcoacosta2917 yeah its not an easy feeling, heart cry out, feel separation, and feel very left out, as if Only I am having any lack.
Societal pressures to quash any kind of masculine behaviour as it is deemed toxic has a large part to play. I always waited for my (feminist) wife to initiate as I didn't want to make any kind of unwanted advance and end up being labelled creepy, pervy or straight up sex mad which is the default feminine response to a mans natural sexual behaviour these days. So instead, I worked my arse off to show her how much I loved her. We're divorced now, basically because I didn't worship her crotch enough. Oh well... At least I have peace now, I won't be heading back to the plantation ever again. Well done ladies, you've collectively made men afraid to be men then wonder why you don't get regularly pounced on in the bedroom. Slow clap..... Great work girls, way to ruin literally everything! .
@@akashganga7844 I know it kills you from inside if you have an unemotional husband..I have been living with one for last 20 years..it is demeaning for a wife to beg to her husband for loving and touching and trust me when I say that you won't get any by begging also...if you don't hv kids I would strongly suggest to divorce him and find a person who is really interested in loving you and living with you...don't stay....these people don't change....and if kids are there you can't leave but you will be dying a slow death everyday and they still don't change....leave him girl
@@akashganga7844 Try to take him to church and bring Jesus into the center of it.
Thank you Danny for advise. I discovered thru experience your reason for a man coldness are all true. Especially if he’s interested or involved with 3rd party.
I appreciate your feedback, Jam. Thank you for watching!
Coach Danny
My husbands 3rd party is his mum, who verbally abuses me and after 24 yrs, I have said I no longer want to see her. I'm scared now cause I've always been forced to see her no matter her disrespectful attitude towards me. I got sick in the process and am trying to heal myself but him pulling away is showing me he chooses his mum over me.
@@reneedwards1082 He is nice person, always love your parents
20 years married and 10 years of no touch or intimacy
If i have a husband that doesn't "touch" me, then what's the point to stay in such a marriage or relationship ? I'd rather be single then staying in a celibate marriage/rrlationship. If something is bothering you, we should be able to talk about it. That's why I'm your wife, so I have to help you find a solution together. Don't you want that ? Then very soon our paths will part !
I’ve been married 50 years and I know my husband is board with me sexually. I’ve tried to keep him interested but it gets harder all the time. I just don’t know what to do about him. He treats me like a sister more than a wife. No hugs or kisses. I have kept myself in good shape, my hair is nice, I consider myself attractive but he just is dead. Should I just let it go?
That's exactly my situation!! 🥺 I still don't know what to do....
I totally understand! You're not alone.
You need someone to make you feel love
After a certain age the pee pee just wants to sleep all the time.
I am on that situation
My husband constantly tells me he wants freedom and independence and it hurts my feelings. I just want him to spend more time with me. He tells me to be independent. I didn't get married to be independent. What should we do we've been married for 10 yrs I'm worried and don't want to divorce.
I think he likes to spend funtime with friends
There's nothing wrong in it
My girlfriend also wants spend most of times with me but we can't do it
Bcz I like to play cricket with my friends
So I think your husband HV some addcition towards playing or conversations with friends
You both should do conversation about it(sorry for bad English)
It's my third language
My exact problems. We are married for 14 years
my partner never touched me for years, we never argued…i later discovered he was getting his needs met elsewhere ( escorts). i ended the relationship after 12 years of wasted life. betrayed
Women love Narcs. Narcs don't want to have sex with "mommy." That is the reason sometimes.
As a man, I can say this is accurate af 🤔 female narc use sex to manipulate n male narc use pushing away tactic
Less than a year into our marriage and I already feel like he doesn't want me anymore. We had a baby together last year, in November, but all the entire year his physical affection has dwindled. If his love language, but he gradually stopped trying to be intimate with me. I've tried to initiate with him, I get rejected. He never initiates or even tries anymore. He gives me compliments that fall on deaf ears because he does not act like he's attracted to me. I feel he just wants a roommate for company, not a friend and lover. Not a real marriage.
I always let him do things his way, I don't badger or nitpick. We both have our own way if doing things, like the dishes, and I just let him be. He knows that I respect him, but I'm sick of the lack of intimacy. It's gotten to the point where I frequently have dreams about it at night.😢
My husband just tells me it isn’t his love language. He does acts of services for me, which is nice but that’s all i get no touch really. Kiss here and there but that’s it.
I am kind of in the same boat. Married for 31 years, he is not a great communicater as well.
The point of knowing love languages is so you can love the other one how they feel loved and you can tell them how to love you. If his love language is act of service, great! Do it for him! If yours is physical touch then he should do it for you! He is using love language to justify selfishness instead of loving effectively and consciously.
@Hard knocks Montage true! He is not sexually attracted to you.
Yes he does acts of service for me. Not thY I don't appreciate it but it's not how I feel loved. He doesn't kiss me or touch me no hugs and no sex if I don't initiate any of it. It was not like this when we were dating.
I'm with you Tina and mine is acts of service too. I never ever get touched. It's horrible and I have asked him and told him what I'd like. I get a peck every now then. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Ill say this to any woman, micromanaging your man and being bossy is a surefire way to turn him off. My wife is the "corporate" type and she micromanages me and it makes me go so limp. Its from asking me "do you have everything?" to "did you shut the door?" "Did you close the cabinet?". It makes you feel like you're married to your mom. Just be soft ladies. I dont know why its so hard, but dont be that kind of wife. If you see something that needs to be adjusted, just do it yourself. Only ask your husband to do something big, like help move something or pay for something or drive you somewhere.
Thank you
Have you tried closing the cabinets like an adult would?
I feel mine started after I found out he had an affair. And he is still watching poem and lying about it.
Mine does this when there is a third party in the picture-a guilty conscience. It his tell
Watching I was losing hope of finding advice. I know my man loves me & we have a good relationship. 15 years, no fights, no arguments that lasted over a few hours, no infidelity. Our communication is strong, and we have a lot of trust.
He just doesn’t touch me unless he’s actively seeking sex. He falls under the love language category & I’m glad you included it. Now, I’m going to finish the video & hopefully find some ideas on how I can adjust to it or not take it personally.
Are you sure he's not cheating? Unfortunately happy people cheat sometimes.... He might be getting his affections to someone else... Hopefully not❤️
Do not assume there is no infidelity. Just be cautious and look for the markers.
You ever thought that the wife…. been doing this for yrs and the husband…just gives up. Oh no you have to show me affection…but I don’t have too….
Talking of my current situation. Loneliness in a marriage. Lord help us
I have asked for a divorce several times. He calls me stupid and he is going to take care of me. We havent had close contact in the last 16 years and we have been together 33 years. I can number the times of close contact on my fingers and toes. He got to where he used close contact as a reward if I did something he wanted...
Ironically we argue less than we ever have . I’ve asked him why one month ago he suddenly stopped sleeping with me especially as we had just purchased a new bed. His answer was incredulous as he says he doesn’t like sleeping in beds !
So I asked him outright , is it because you prefer not to sleep with me . Is reply was , no.
I’m not so concerned why he doesn’t sleep with me , I’m concerned about his ridiculous reasons lol
This was too funny lol !!!!
I think mine is being unfaithful.
Thank you for reaching out, Linda.
⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373
Coach Danny
Intuition
Have things gotten better?
My husband said his love language is physical touch, but it is not happening. He did cheat year 3 of marriage. Counseling was interesting and not in a good way. He was using online atforms to hook up. Now we are year 8. This is his 3rd marriage. I think this flame is burning out.
We're so sorry to hear about this. If you need to speak with a coach one on one, I would highly suggest you do so with this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/
-HC Team
What about husband doesnt want to talk
I'm not receiving any intimacy or affection. It sucks
Hi Carol,
Thank you so much for sharing. I would recommend the following two things:
1. Have a conversation with your partner about the lack of intimacy and try to understand why it has faded.
2. Take the lead. I know that rejection can be scary but sometimes we have to show our partner exactly what it is we want or like.
If none of these work for you, I would recommend taking a step back and evaluating the relationship. Is this something that is fulfilling? Is it meeting your needs/expectations? Is there any unresolved conflict that is resulting in lack of intimacy? External stressors? etc.
- Coach Danny
Between the alcohol, his addictions, his lies and lack of remembering anything ( seriously ) I’m married to a ghost.
I would love information about no sex, no touch, alcoholism and no connection.
@Alex Nelson Yes please Alex!
If the spiritual connection is not from our God Almighty creator of heaven and earth and everything in it, do not get into it. It is evil and it may create more problems than you already have. Trust God only because He will hear your prayer if you have faith in Him. God bless you and give you peace that comes from Him.
You are so amazing Danny!! I just want to thank you bc I feel I am understanding my husband so much better after watching your videos.
Hi Jessica! Thank you so much for the kind words. I am glad you feel like you are connecting with your husband more. :)
- Coach Danny
So we literally stop having frequent sex before we got married and I’m feeling like it’s forced at this point we haven’t made it a year and it’s like I’m really sad like you won’t let me leave but you won’t touch me either something has to give because I haven’t taken anything from him out our relationship and he knows I’m intimate
It should be a crime. Mine can do without it and is not ever affectionate her never ever touch me first. It should be a crime. Good luck to you.
Going through this. He said it's because I don't listen I'm trying but when I do things right ,something else irritates him. I don't dress up because we never go anywhere. I just feel like it'll be better to add a sexual partner for me so I don't bother him. We always argue. I shut down and feel so bad that I cut my face to feel better. I'm confused and don't know what to do
Hi Ericka, thank you so much for sharing your story. Self-inflicted harm is a very serious matter. I would highly recommend seeking a licensed psychotherapist to help you explore your emotions/situation. You can click on the following link to find a therapist in your are: www.psychologytoday.com
- Coach Danny
I think u pointed out very important parts about a man and I agree with your responses this is so true.
My boyfriend has been with me for over 3 years. since i had a miscarriage, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because he is afraid that we have abby and miscarriage again. After 3 months, no sex is happening because he says he is tired and I know we are equally tired. after 5 months we were joking and I asked my boyfriend why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. He said that I'm not as sexy as I used to be. My belly is getting bigger and my body is no longer sexy. At first I was hurt but I asked myself if it's normal for men to prefer a sexy body. My boyfriend is nice, he never cheats on me. I saw his phone, social media and also his colleagues, he always picked me up after my work. please help me to explain to me this situation.
What to do if he doesnt want to communicate in the first place on any issues ?
5 years and every verbal abuse under the sun.
I stopped the video when he said “No.1 he is going through something” women often get blamed on communication when menu go through something that can’t be communicated
I agree with you. Women are also going through something. Rejection,sadness,etc when there is no intimacy. You can try communicate with your husband's but if they are not willing to put the work in as well,what can you do. A relationship needs both parties to put in the work .
I've been sexual neglected for 23 yrs
Get out of that neglectful relationship.
I have a problem with intimate touching because my spouse rarely has sex with me. Hugging, touching, kissing has all become more difficult for me because it reminds me that we're not having sex. Every touch and every intimate moment is poisoned for me because I know they have walls up and are not completely comfortable being with me physically. We're talking through it. There are a lot of details I'm leaving out, but I avoid touch because I feel like I'm being treated like a teddy bear, not like a husband.
Same thing happened with me any solution???
Hi what happens if that is going on for over 5 years. Does he still need time. He
Shows others more love languages than his wife. Yes there are kids and he ignore them as well. 🤷♀️
My husband used to touch me a lot now he hardly touches me when I talk to him about it he tells me sorry and he does be affectionate for a few days then he go back to the way it was before I don't know what is the problem then when we are intimate he hardly touches me also I'm a very affectionate person is there something I can do to help get it the way it used to be we have also decided to go get counseling for other issues
This This is very much my experience as well although therapy hasn't helped us I went shortly after we got back from the honeymoon
Simple he is not attracted to you
@@Bell-wh4vm then he needs to get the F on… he not being held hostage… see proves my point males make shit difficult, and want to see agony… it ain’t even that type of party. He just don’t love himself other than that he is a deranged individual. Who does that? Other than sadistic fakes.
@@brunosmine3132 You guys should go to church and get prayer for it and Godly advice. King Jesus is the answer😇
@@vivaeuropa Chill out with the god speak. Not everyone wants to follow an imaginary person. Too many of us believe in Science and facts.
She didn't want s-x, and I didn't want to be miserable. I stopped doing all the things that caused me to desire it. That included touching, etc. Bear in mind, I wasn't trying to punish her. I just focused on what I could change - my behavior.
Been patient for 6 plus years. Ive communicated how i feel throughout that time. Ive asked what he needs from me. All i get is that im pretty much the perfect wife and he doesnt know why he doesnt give me the attention and love that i deserve.
Thing is he STOPPED being affectionate ... so he knows how to. Just doesn't.
Tired of communicating it . At this poit im done of living without affection. I tried from the very beginning to nip it in the butt ... he never took me serious. Now we're here .. now that im done he finally gets it.
5 love languages read for work but had husband take the quiz. We have the same love languages.
Nah, he is just sleeping with your friends and is a narcissist. Don't buy it ladies. They want you to feel bad about yourself. Don't waste your time. It's cruel. Find someone who adores you.
Oh he directly tells me the reason he is not physically or emotionally affectionate is because of my actions that he does not agree with.
Can someone please give me advice on my situation. I’m 26, no kids, very few sexual partners in my past & medium to high sex drive, fit body, work full time and pay all my own bills, I’m college educated and my boyfriend who I have been with for 2 years has always had an issue having sex with me. It’s been 27 days now on this particular streak and I feel very hurt. I do all of the sexy things that people say to do and still he doesn’t want me
He's either not that into you, he's not into women at all, or he has a lower libido than you and doesn't require sex as frequently as you do.
Id argue that men don’t want to speak because everything we want to say would upset her, especially if she’s our stressor. Anything we bring up is just going to be blown up and would turn into an argument. And then, when women want to do nothing but talk and bicker, it fosters further anxiety and stress 🤷🏼♂️
100% Truth
Hi Nick., Just a small thought, What about having therapy both alone and with your spouse!
My husband, has refused any form of help, therapy or counselling or cognitive behavioural skills!
He’s rejected God to😢
He wasn’t allowed to speak as a Child/ he had Extremely Over Strict Parents!
He was not taught Boundaries!
I’m still around., but not sure for how much longer!
Every one says there’s nil more I can do for him!
He has to now Try to help himself!
Bless you! 🙏🏻
Such true. My wife is like that. No matter how good i am there is always (And if need create a situation to be)something to complain or get angry about.
Well I'm a woman, and I keep bringing stuff up because it's not fixed... I feel my guy would like it if I just smiled regardless of what he is doing that's hurtful... I think things would be much better if he also took the time and energy to notice when something is off acá then assessed it.... That way I wouldn't have to complain... My point is, take charge, educate your wife i on how to communicate respectfully... Get o the problem before she does... Dunno. My two cents
I shut down emotionally when my wife cheated on me. Took me a long time to touch her again.
I have never touched her again because she caught herpes and sypholis on her first outing, so I missed that bullet.
I really appreciate this video! I would really like to be able to get more info on this or be able to talk to someone. I also feel like I can relate to most of the things you said. I have talked to my husband many times and he says he gets where I’m coming from, but then after a few days or a week he’s unconsciously doing the same things again.
Also Im the only relationship he has had in his life (32yo) so I feel like a lot of time it’s just the simple fact that relationship stiff is over all new to him.
I'm glad the video was helpful for you. I understand what you're going through. ⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373
Coach Natalie
Following because I feel the same.
Me too
Hy
At least you get a few days.
Well this is BS. Ladies your husband/long term boyfriend is not touching you anymore because he is sick of the rejection. It’s that simple. He has most likely gotten to the paint where he would rather not try to touch you then get pushed away because you are to busy or sweaty or tired. It’s not because he has something else on his mind. It’s years packed on years of getting shot down and being treated like a room mate.
It sounds like he wasn't good at the job to begin with. 🤷♂️
My boyfriend treats me like a roommate. It's only me initiating. Now, after a last brutal rejection where he literally threw me off the bed, I stopped initiating. Now I want to cheat on him or break up. Talking to him hasn't worked.
Best response 😅
I’ve never rejected
Well, I have a tendency of shutting down and going off and living my own life when I am repeatedly rejected as someone else said here why try anymore? Every time it is brought up. I am punished and attacked for very gently expressing my feelings. This is a second marriage and I feel very duped. He was completely different when we were dating. His adult son moved in with us and that made things very difficult and I think honestly there’s just a ton of resentment he’s not willing to let go of.
I am an Indian women … I am married from last 5 years and my husband doesn’t find me attractive bcz f my weight .. I live in usa n doesn’t dressed up like sexy women .. though I wear jeans n dress but doesn’t look good in that dress .. From last 5 years he is asking me to loose weight , put lipstic , dolled up … I don’t understand why this craziness.. I literally cry every day bcz now every 1 is asking me for child n I don’t hv ans for this … on my ovulation time also v usually fight bcz he comes for sex n watch xvideos .. I feel so irritated..
What if he always has some sort of reason as to why when you ask. I can’t help but assume he isnt into me … he’s a lovely man I al,ost would prefer him to say he’s gay at this point
From personal experience i dont understand why anyone is so hung up about not having sex. For me it was and is the biggest letdown in life. Alot of hype but no real reward. That with my wifes lack of interest in it really lends to the thought its nothing amazing. Or i just suck at it and have no feeling. Any thoughts
Well, my husband of 24 years was gay, is gay and was gay when he married me.
Thank you so much for sharing, really needed to hear this!
I'm glad the video was helpful, Demetha.
Coach Danny
Thank you 🙏🏼 I needed to hear this. Never heard of the love language.
Thank you so much for watching! We're always happy to help with the content we post on our channel.
He said that you killed all of my senses and said its all of your fault.he made me to cheat on him and feel guilty
You're in an abusive relationship. Seek a DV shelter
@@idwtbam smh so her partner is saying that she really hurt him physically and emotionally and your response is to go to a domestic violence shelter because she’s the one being abused???????
Smh
@@beach_boy1141 A guy who "makes you cheat" is a cuck. A woman who was also into that sort of thing wouldn't feel guilty. That's manipulated behavior. Along with the "it's your fault..." yeah, he's an abuser. If you can't see that, then you're likely in a toxic relationship yourself. I'd suggest you find love in yourself and then perhaps elsewhere.
@@idwtbam I think u misunderstood what she was saying. She is blaming the man for her going out and cheating. I could be wrong but I don’t think he physically forced her to cheat. She decided to cheat and blames it on the man. Would u have that same energy if a man was having sex and affection withheld from him would u call the woman a abuser? Would you say the man was forced to cheat if he went looking elsewhere while still in the relationship? Would u say he should be in a domestic violence shelter?
Just get out. Feel no remorse.
Wanted to say thanks for advice well let me say my husband and I have be together for 30+ yes.He is my bestfriend but he hasn't kissed or touched me for going on 5 yes.Its strange and makes me feel ugly.Thanks for a little vent.
It's suppose to be 30+ Years.
So helpful! Thank you so much for this video! 🙏
You're so welcome!
I have tried to ask my husband what he prefers as a love language and his response is that there is no such thing
i am afraid jesus is not HIS saviour...he cannot be helped.
So coddle him like a baby? Men need to grow up. Why is it always the women need to be understanding and try to coax them into being human? Then when we do they accuse us of trying to control them or are needy and they want to be left alone. It’s exhausting.
How about making a video titled, ''My wife does not want me to touch her or want intimacy''! It's not always the husband's fault.
My husband hasn’t touched me in almost 10 years. He had a medical emergency that resulted in him having a portion of his colon removed and that left him with a colostomy. I have been supportive. I have assured him that I still find him attractive and want a physical relationship. I have backed off and gave him space. I’m pretty sure I have tried to be as supportive as I can possibly be. He is (or was, it’s been so long I don’t know for sure anymore) able to get an erection. Around five years ago I was having a really hard time dealing with feeling rejected and unloved and told him I was going to start having sex again whether he was a participant or not, it worked fine twice in a week after saying that, but he hasn’t touched me since. We are roommates at this point. Empty nesters and I took the empty room as soon as our youngest moved out. He is always short tempered and seems annoyed with me just being around. Is there hope for our relationship or will I be lonely and depressed for the rest of my life?
Hi there,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. We're sorry to hear about the difficult situation you have to go through! I know our coaches can help you with this but they would need to have a complete understanding of your situation before giving you proper advice. I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with us using this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/
-HC Team
Dr's. Can certainly do a colon hook up directly. No need for colostomy
Who were you having sex with?
I don't touch my wife because she shut me down a million times.... But hey, she's a great roomie and i just play video games and wait to die.
🤣🤣
Damn lol
Ouch lol !
I did laugh so much your comment, really,you are so funny.
Many western women use their personality as a form of contraception
Im 36w pregnant today
It’s been 3+ weeks for us
He still hugs & kisses me
Says I love you
Everytime I bring up seggs I get ignored 😢
Idk what to think other than I’m not attractive anymore & he only loves me as a person. I really wanna have it a few times before baby comes because it’ll go even longer
when your partner is cheating and being sneaky, and lying and you ignore me while I'm trying to communicate, yeah I wouldn't touch you either.
It's because we feel like we are not validated as men, so we get cold.
We dont argue, we are well. Just he is workaholic because of his strict boss. But for 7 years of marriage he lost his passion he doesnt want sex, only once a month. I dont know what to do anymore. He told me that its not my fault. And i have to be patient. But nothing changed. He just try to keep me happy in other things so i will not divorce him. But this is unfair for me....
Hi there! We're so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your husband. I know our coaches would love to help you with this issue. I would highly suggest you book a coaching call with one of our coaches so they can help you through this issue. Please use this link to view our coaching rates and sessions: happilycommitted.com/coaching/
-HC Team
Do you initiate anything? Surprise him? Create an erotic atmosphere?
When I read you correctly, he is of good will but being a workaholic sets you on plan B. So you need to become plan A. Not easy but doable.
If sex or physical touch isn't his love language, then he shouldn't con you into marriage. You have vows. How dare anyone sentence a person into a lifeless, loveless existence. It's despicable.
If you are still fielding questions on this topic…My situation is reversed in that it’s my wife that has changed.
Before marriage neither of us could get enough of the other. Of course I expected the excitement, frequency of and the intensity to drop after marriage. Honeymoon stage ending, it happens.
We wanted a child together so we tried and there came a time that I had to go to my doctor to get that little pill to help me at times.
Fast forward to after our son was born and when the change occurred. First 7-8 months after I didn’t even try to start the highest level of intimacy because her body had to heal. I was denied. (Shorten the story) Two years later I asked her to go to counseling, she did-2times. My love language is physical touch hers is acts of service. Our son is 13 now and the denial of physical touch is literally that she doesn’t want me to touch her at all. No hugs, no holding hands, not even in the bed we share when I sleep. I’m a side sleeper and have chronic pain so I turn over frequently, apparently one night I woke her when my arm and hand was touching her back. We now have a pillow wall between us to stop that.
I could go on and on but the jest is she has drastically changed. Even her closest and lifelong friends say that she isn’t the same person they knew.
So that’s where I am. I have initiated many changes of myself, small steps to get us back to where we were. She point blank told me that if I was changing in hopes that she will give in that I was wasting my time.
So here I am, I have the woman that I love right in front of me and all I can do is serve her without touching her.
I have started calling her my sunshine, from the classic song. She doesn’t realize I’m sending a message because she doesn’t know what the song is really about.,.
Any advice?
Divorce her
Maybe it's a health/ hormonal issue... If there's such a drastic change after childbirth, it could be that.... Document yourself and keep your eyes open... Sleeping, eating patterns hair, nails etc
He did not have sex for 2 years and i found out the massage women in his whatsapp.. then he wanted sex all the sudden and all the sudden opened up about what i said about him and his family to his brother's wife has hurt him a lot... anyways after apology also he did have sex but now again no sex i feel devastated... he said he never cheated on me and all but i feel confused with him
Why your husband isn’t touching you.
1. You stopped prioritizing your physical appearance
2. He’s unhappy (you belittle him, disrespect him, nag, a revue etc.)
3. You stopped prioritizing your physical appearance
You’re welcome!
1. The husband creates an environment where the wife cannot prioritize her physical appearance.
2. The husband makes the wife and entire family unhappy.
@@TomikaKelly 3. You stopped prioritizing your physical appearance.
Just a comment to help with engagement... The gentleman doing this video does not seem to understand just how simple and straightforward men are.
Instead of skirting the issue, why not tell your audience the truth? Eliminate every problem within your control, then look to your man as the problem.
It is a great way to live....
What if for 6 years he initiated everything and after 6 years he fell out of love & now it has to be me for the last 2 months initiating everything. I never get rejected but takes a tow to start every single time