Intimacy and physical touch are 2 different things. You can have physical touch and no intimacy. Its a lonely marriage when your spouse is not intimate trust me.
This is what i am experiencing with my husband. I don’t believe in the love languages either. People can have numerous love languages in my opinion so 🤷♀️
There are three parts to intimacy within the context of marriage. There is the spiritual, the emotional and the physical. Taking away any one of those will erode the intimacy from the other areas. Physical touch is most definitely part of intimacy. I think you’re getting confused with a booty call
Nearly 4 and it's so insane because we get along like best buddies and used to have a wonderful physical life. I don't want to leave but it's like torture and I feel like it's gotten to the point that it may be that I have to admit that I'm not strong enough to go on like this.
26 years of marriage with him on the road as a truck driver only home weekends. Myself being so lonely raising two sons and never sharing the really really hard issues of raising them in fear of him stressing out and him dieting from an accident while driving on Ice. He left me a long time ago. I don’t know what to do anymore. There is to m
In life you have to remember this you can't enforce your rules, your comfort to someone else, life is about accepting the struggle and just move on. Unfortunately we live in a world were most the time we can't live at our fullest according how we want
Be careful about bolting if you have a roof over your head.you have supers,house,security.if their is no drugs or alcoholic issues.keep yourselves fresh and attractive.and stay together.the grass is not greener out in the wide world.im in my 60s and renting and working hard just to eat and pay rent.all because of a husband who had a mid life crises at 40.i took ill and he couldnt face it.i was off work for 6 months and he couldn't stand by me.
As man i can say, if my wife/gf wont let me touch her, BUT also dont want to talk about it with me i would just leave idgaf. Thats the same all women should do when the husband/bf is doing that shit
Imagine being a Christian believing you can’t divorce unless they hit you or cheat… just imagine. What then. I don’t even want to leave I just want him to go back to being him…
My husband is a sex /porn addict. He was bored before the ink was dry on our marriage license. I knew something was really wrong in the beginning, but he would look me straight in the eyes and lie and lie. Over time I had to finagle him just to get some intimacy. Other times he would act enthusiastic, but it was only an act. In the last year together, we had sex only 7 times. He couldn't look at my face ever. When I was a much younger woman I never knew this could happen, let alone to me. I used to be a red blooded woman, now all of that is dead and gone.
Exactly…, why these coaches aren’t talking about this . Porn equals all the other problems . It is the mother and father of all marriage problems including deceitful behaviour , and even their physical body changes
Porn is a huge part of why men dont want sex or even want to please you. When you do have sex he gets please and you get nothing. I've tried everything, I'm tired of the bikini photos, adding women friends who post seductive photos. Sad that stupid love languages don't cover the real problem...PORN.
It's best to be single it's peace of mind cos some men are a lot of work and I believe it's because a lot of them are not brought up by their fathers who are supposed to be great mentors and teach them how to treat the women in their lives. Every relationship thrive on communication so if men have difficulty communicating then what's the point being in a relationship with them it's too much work for a woman always trying to baby a grown ass man when she has kids to take care of. Men should rise up to be the leaders their wives need and not be babies
SHOUT IT from the mountain top!!! Women want 'real men' who are not boys in a man's body, who have courage, who are strong overall, who will communicate about the relationship (not sports/news/politics ALL THE TIME), who will HELP raise their own children, who will LEAD like a real leader, and who are not SELFISHHHHHHHH to the hilt! And who will actually love/die for their wife. Most men want a TON of RESPECT, but where is the SELFLESS LOVE for the wives??????
If i have a husband that doesn't "touch" me, then what's the point to stay in such a marriage or relationship ? I'd rather be single then staying in a celibate marriage/rrlationship. If something is bothering you, we should be able to talk about it. That's why I'm your wife, so I have to help you find a solution together. Don't you want that ? Then very soon our paths will part !
@@kittyphillips2475 it's just over 4 years for me. Cannot help feeling like this is wrong... but I feel it's right for my kids... and he claims complete love always. Actions are crap. Just enough to look like he's perfect... he's crafty and careful but the pain only builds.
4 years 🤣 I’ve tried everything, making myself attractive, communicate , cook clean obey him I’ve tried everything and I asked him at the end babe please share with me what’s the problem , and his answer was my problem is YOU 🥺 . What should I do in this case?
The 4th possibility he's cheating as it turned out he was getting everything he needed outside of the home so when he came home he was too tired and couldn't get it up
I just think at this point my husband is in denial about the lack of. We talked about it many times and it always turns to an argument. He says so put him down as a man. I try to talk to him to try to figure out where is the disconnect but get no where. Before he would make excuses for it because of his Heath situation and says he would try to get help. But I don’t know what came of it. It’s so frustrating because i literally tell him I need that from him but i feel like I get dismissed. He makes no effort to try but will have a list of reason why he couldn’t. I so fed up with always feeling rejected
My husband kiss me everytime he leaves home and he holds my hand when we go to bed.Thats it.He have never said i look nice or look hot or anything like that.He is really hard to talk to. Growing up i lived with my mum.She was emotional abusive.She just sat there knitting.Never eye contact,short answers and could be silent for days.I could ask her and she looked at me and i would start to cry.I moved out as 16 yr living in a house with drug addicts or on the street.I was traumatised and was on drugs for yrs.Finally sober i am finding this guy that its the male version of my mother!I am in therapy now to build up some strenght so i can leave .We are just living together. We used to have sex but i got so tired of saying not so hard and not so fast.And when sex isnt good i dont care having sex.He never reach out to me so now we can go months without.They say you will find a partner that is like your parents and for my case its like that
I got married 3 years before, at first everything was normal but we never got intimate after the day we got to know about my pregnancy , it's been over 2.5 years now.. he lost interest in me completely.. not even physical touch, affection, not even hugs..i tried a lot but nothing is arousing him towards me
It's okay. He isn't interested. You should understand this. I would say if you are open enough find someone who adores you and gives you what he doesn't.
Thank you Danny for advise. I discovered thru experience your reason for a man coldness are all true. Especially if he’s interested or involved with 3rd party.
My husbands 3rd party is his mum, who verbally abuses me and after 24 yrs, I have said I no longer want to see her. I'm scared now cause I've always been forced to see her no matter her disrespectful attitude towards me. I got sick in the process and am trying to heal myself but him pulling away is showing me he chooses his mum over me.
30 years and not once have I ever rejected her. I can literally say I've never been too tired, never had a headache, and never wasn't in the mood. You get my point...
You speak so clearly and straight to the point, everything you say makes sense. Thank you. In laws can also lead to you not wanting to touch your partner
Yes, after 24 yrs of verbal abuse, I have said I never want to see him mummy anymore as they are enmeshed, not wanting to hurt him or stop him from seeing her, but rather protecting myself from her rudeness. He has recoiled, instead of the usual touch, hugging etc scary!!
My husband touched 2 times by his own choice, but now its been 8 months always I pull him, he dont even cuddle at night. I am dying inside, why, why he is not touching me ? 😭
my husband is the same Hes never been the type to just reach out in bed, even though he seemed to more when we were sexually active But ever since he lost his ability, (about two whole years now) NOTHIING AT ALL So me, knowing that he was never the touchy type, I decided to never reach over to his side of the bed But then, stupid me, after two years I rolled over and put my arm around him and he was so stiff and unresponsive Its a horrible feeling Im dead sure that Ill never do it again Its very demeaning even though its your partner, it still made me feel embarrassed or desperate even though I wasnt trying to initiate sex
Societal pressures to quash any kind of masculine behaviour as it is deemed toxic has a large part to play. I always waited for my (feminist) wife to initiate as I didn't want to make any kind of unwanted advance and end up being labelled creepy, pervy or straight up sex mad which is the default feminine response to a mans natural sexual behaviour these days. So instead, I worked my arse off to show her how much I loved her. We're divorced now, basically because I didn't worship her crotch enough. Oh well... At least I have peace now, I won't be heading back to the plantation ever again. Well done ladies, you've collectively made men afraid to be men then wonder why you don't get regularly pounced on in the bedroom. Slow clap..... Great work girls, way to ruin literally everything! .
@@akashganga7844 I know it kills you from inside if you have an unemotional husband..I have been living with one for last 20 years..it is demeaning for a wife to beg to her husband for loving and touching and trust me when I say that you won't get any by begging also...if you don't hv kids I would strongly suggest to divorce him and find a person who is really interested in loving you and living with you...don't stay....these people don't change....and if kids are there you can't leave but you will be dying a slow death everyday and they still don't change....leave him girl
I am so physically lonely in my marriage. I have no doubt that my husband adores me, but physical touch just isn’t important to him - like it never occurs to him as a possibility. I don’t know how to fill that very real void.
Been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an age gap, I'm 27 while he is 35 with a child already. And he always says hes going to open up one day but it only seems to get worse. He says he loves and cares for me, but now even sex is a problem. I try to make myself look nice, get my hair done, new clothing, I'm in great shape , and I barely get a glance. He blames his actions on him being so behind in life. Not sure if it's worth waiting anymore time.
Hey there, It looks like he has a lot of self work to do. I know hard hard It is to open up when you have so many suppressed emotions and insecurities that aren't being adressed.
@@CozyCowPooper whoa wait... I'm sure that's what he meant... girl you need to take care of yourself too... keep looking, keep researching and trying... but do not lose yourself. Find friends, distractions - positive ones. So you can bring more of yourself home to your family. Try not to expect and overnight changes. Happiness is infectious... how to get there for you will be your own task... but do not stop searching for the answer with the best feeling.
My husband just tells me it isn’t his love language. He does acts of services for me, which is nice but that’s all i get no touch really. Kiss here and there but that’s it.
The point of knowing love languages is so you can love the other one how they feel loved and you can tell them how to love you. If his love language is act of service, great! Do it for him! If yours is physical touch then he should do it for you! He is using love language to justify selfishness instead of loving effectively and consciously.
Yes he does acts of service for me. Not thY I don't appreciate it but it's not how I feel loved. He doesn't kiss me or touch me no hugs and no sex if I don't initiate any of it. It was not like this when we were dating.
I'm with you Tina and mine is acts of service too. I never ever get touched. It's horrible and I have asked him and told him what I'd like. I get a peck every now then. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I am married 24 years together with him 30 years and he has told me he loved me only twice. I read about something called intimacy anorexia and that’s what he has. He doesn’t wanna have sex with me so we haven’t had sex in seven years because I gained about 80 pounds. I just lost 65 pounds and he still doesn’t complement me or try to have sex with me.
Hi Lynn, First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing your story. Also, congratulations on your weight loss journey, that is AMAZING! I say that to bring up this point, do not put your own happiness and success in the hands of another individual. If you do, they have the ability to nurture it or crush it. Be proud of yourself for your achievements. I would recommend putting yourself back on the pedestal and focusing a little more on your own personal happiness. - Coach Danny
He has issues not you, focus on yourself and you are not been selfish when you do love yourself loose wait for you and your health not for him obviously you can't make him happy and you can't make him happy so happy yourself
Ironically we argue less than we ever have . I’ve asked him why one month ago he suddenly stopped sleeping with me especially as we had just purchased a new bed. His answer was incredulous as he says he doesn’t like sleeping in beds ! So I asked him outright , is it because you prefer not to sleep with me . Is reply was , no. I’m not so concerned why he doesn’t sleep with me , I’m concerned about his ridiculous reasons lol
Hi Carol, Thank you so much for sharing. I would recommend the following two things: 1. Have a conversation with your partner about the lack of intimacy and try to understand why it has faded. 2. Take the lead. I know that rejection can be scary but sometimes we have to show our partner exactly what it is we want or like. If none of these work for you, I would recommend taking a step back and evaluating the relationship. Is this something that is fulfilling? Is it meeting your needs/expectations? Is there any unresolved conflict that is resulting in lack of intimacy? External stressors? etc. - Coach Danny
I have asked for a divorce several times. He calls me stupid and he is going to take care of me. We havent had close contact in the last 16 years and we have been together 33 years. I can number the times of close contact on my fingers and toes. He got to where he used close contact as a reward if I did something he wanted...
Going through this. He said it's because I don't listen I'm trying but when I do things right ,something else irritates him. I don't dress up because we never go anywhere. I just feel like it'll be better to add a sexual partner for me so I don't bother him. We always argue. I shut down and feel so bad that I cut my face to feel better. I'm confused and don't know what to do
Hi Ericka, thank you so much for sharing your story. Self-inflicted harm is a very serious matter. I would highly recommend seeking a licensed psychotherapist to help you explore your emotions/situation. You can click on the following link to find a therapist in your are: www.psychologytoday.com - Coach Danny
My husband said his love language is physical touch, but it is not happening. He did cheat year 3 of marriage. Counseling was interesting and not in a good way. He was using online atforms to hook up. Now we are year 8. This is his 3rd marriage. I think this flame is burning out.
We're so sorry to hear about this. If you need to speak with a coach one on one, I would highly suggest you do so with this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ -HC Team
Between the alcohol, his addictions, his lies and lack of remembering anything ( seriously ) I’m married to a ghost. I would love information about no sex, no touch, alcoholism and no connection.
If the spiritual connection is not from our God Almighty creator of heaven and earth and everything in it, do not get into it. It is evil and it may create more problems than you already have. Trust God only because He will hear your prayer if you have faith in Him. God bless you and give you peace that comes from Him.
Hi what happens if that is going on for over 5 years. Does he still need time. He Shows others more love languages than his wife. Yes there are kids and he ignore them as well. 🤷♀️
Id argue that men don’t want to speak because everything we want to say would upset her, especially if she’s our stressor. Anything we bring up is just going to be blown up and would turn into an argument. And then, when women want to do nothing but talk and bicker, it fosters further anxiety and stress 🤷🏼♂️ 100% Truth
Hi Nick., Just a small thought, What about having therapy both alone and with your spouse! My husband, has refused any form of help, therapy or counselling or cognitive behavioural skills! He’s rejected God to😢 He wasn’t allowed to speak as a Child/ he had Extremely Over Strict Parents! He was not taught Boundaries! I’m still around., but not sure for how much longer! Every one says there’s nil more I can do for him! He has to now Try to help himself! Bless you! 🙏🏻
Such true. My wife is like that. No matter how good i am there is always (And if need create a situation to be)something to complain or get angry about.
Well I'm a woman, and I keep bringing stuff up because it's not fixed... I feel my guy would like it if I just smiled regardless of what he is doing that's hurtful... I think things would be much better if he also took the time and energy to notice when something is off acá then assessed it.... That way I wouldn't have to complain... My point is, take charge, educate your wife i on how to communicate respectfully... Get o the problem before she does... Dunno. My two cents
Well this is BS. Ladies your husband/long term boyfriend is not touching you anymore because he is sick of the rejection. It’s that simple. He has most likely gotten to the paint where he would rather not try to touch you then get pushed away because you are to busy or sweaty or tired. It’s not because he has something else on his mind. It’s years packed on years of getting shot down and being treated like a room mate.
My boyfriend treats me like a roommate. It's only me initiating. Now, after a last brutal rejection where he literally threw me off the bed, I stopped initiating. Now I want to cheat on him or break up. Talking to him hasn't worked.
my partner never touched me for years, we never argued…i later discovered he was getting his needs met elsewhere ( escorts). i ended the relationship after 12 years of wasted life. betrayed
What if he always has some sort of reason as to why when you ask. I can’t help but assume he isnt into me … he’s a lovely man I al,ost would prefer him to say he’s gay at this point
I have a problem with intimate touching because my spouse rarely has sex with me. Hugging, touching, kissing has all become more difficult for me because it reminds me that we're not having sex. Every touch and every intimate moment is poisoned for me because I know they have walls up and are not completely comfortable being with me physically. We're talking through it. There are a lot of details I'm leaving out, but I avoid touch because I feel like I'm being treated like a teddy bear, not like a husband.
Ill say this to any woman, micromanaging your man and being bossy is a surefire way to turn him off. My wife is the "corporate" type and she micromanages me and it makes me go so limp. Its from asking me "do you have everything?" to "did you shut the door?" "Did you close the cabinet?". It makes you feel like you're married to your mom. Just be soft ladies. I dont know why its so hard, but dont be that kind of wife. If you see something that needs to be adjusted, just do it yourself. Only ask your husband to do something big, like help move something or pay for something or drive you somewhere.
My husband used to touch me a lot now he hardly touches me when I talk to him about it he tells me sorry and he does be affectionate for a few days then he go back to the way it was before I don't know what is the problem then when we are intimate he hardly touches me also I'm a very affectionate person is there something I can do to help get it the way it used to be we have also decided to go get counseling for other issues
@@Bell-wh4vm then he needs to get the F on… he not being held hostage… see proves my point males make shit difficult, and want to see agony… it ain’t even that type of party. He just don’t love himself other than that he is a deranged individual. Who does that? Other than sadistic fakes.
Well, I have a tendency of shutting down and going off and living my own life when I am repeatedly rejected as someone else said here why try anymore? Every time it is brought up. I am punished and attacked for very gently expressing my feelings. This is a second marriage and I feel very duped. He was completely different when we were dating. His adult son moved in with us and that made things very difficult and I think honestly there’s just a ton of resentment he’s not willing to let go of.
My boyfriend has been with me for over 3 years. since i had a miscarriage, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because he is afraid that we have abby and miscarriage again. After 3 months, no sex is happening because he says he is tired and I know we are equally tired. after 5 months we were joking and I asked my boyfriend why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. He said that I'm not as sexy as I used to be. My belly is getting bigger and my body is no longer sexy. At first I was hurt but I asked myself if it's normal for men to prefer a sexy body. My boyfriend is nice, he never cheats on me. I saw his phone, social media and also his colleagues, he always picked me up after my work. please help me to explain to me this situation.
1. The husband creates an environment where the wife cannot prioritize her physical appearance. 2. The husband makes the wife and entire family unhappy.
I am an Indian women … I am married from last 5 years and my husband doesn’t find me attractive bcz f my weight .. I live in usa n doesn’t dressed up like sexy women .. though I wear jeans n dress but doesn’t look good in that dress .. From last 5 years he is asking me to loose weight , put lipstic , dolled up … I don’t understand why this craziness.. I literally cry every day bcz now every 1 is asking me for child n I don’t hv ans for this … on my ovulation time also v usually fight bcz he comes for sex n watch xvideos .. I feel so irritated..
From personal experience i dont understand why anyone is so hung up about not having sex. For me it was and is the biggest letdown in life. Alot of hype but no real reward. That with my wifes lack of interest in it really lends to the thought its nothing amazing. Or i just suck at it and have no feeling. Any thoughts
So coddle him like a baby? Men need to grow up. Why is it always the women need to be understanding and try to coax them into being human? Then when we do they accuse us of trying to control them or are needy and they want to be left alone. It’s exhausting.
Im 36w pregnant today It’s been 3+ weeks for us He still hugs & kisses me Says I love you Everytime I bring up seggs I get ignored 😢 Idk what to think other than I’m not attractive anymore & he only loves me as a person. I really wanna have it a few times before baby comes because it’ll go even longer
Can someone please give me advice on my situation. I’m 26, no kids, very few sexual partners in my past & medium to high sex drive, fit body, work full time and pay all my own bills, I’m college educated and my boyfriend who I have been with for 2 years has always had an issue having sex with me. It’s been 27 days now on this particular streak and I feel very hurt. I do all of the sexy things that people say to do and still he doesn’t want me
Been patient for 6 plus years. Ive communicated how i feel throughout that time. Ive asked what he needs from me. All i get is that im pretty much the perfect wife and he doesnt know why he doesnt give me the attention and love that i deserve. Thing is he STOPPED being affectionate ... so he knows how to. Just doesn't. Tired of communicating it . At this poit im done of living without affection. I tried from the very beginning to nip it in the butt ... he never took me serious. Now we're here .. now that im done he finally gets it.
If you are still fielding questions on this topic…My situation is reversed in that it’s my wife that has changed. Before marriage neither of us could get enough of the other. Of course I expected the excitement, frequency of and the intensity to drop after marriage. Honeymoon stage ending, it happens. We wanted a child together so we tried and there came a time that I had to go to my doctor to get that little pill to help me at times. Fast forward to after our son was born and when the change occurred. First 7-8 months after I didn’t even try to start the highest level of intimacy because her body had to heal. I was denied. (Shorten the story) Two years later I asked her to go to counseling, she did-2times. My love language is physical touch hers is acts of service. Our son is 13 now and the denial of physical touch is literally that she doesn’t want me to touch her at all. No hugs, no holding hands, not even in the bed we share when I sleep. I’m a side sleeper and have chronic pain so I turn over frequently, apparently one night I woke her when my arm and hand was touching her back. We now have a pillow wall between us to stop that. I could go on and on but the jest is she has drastically changed. Even her closest and lifelong friends say that she isn’t the same person they knew. So that’s where I am. I have initiated many changes of myself, small steps to get us back to where we were. She point blank told me that if I was changing in hopes that she will give in that I was wasting my time. So here I am, I have the woman that I love right in front of me and all I can do is serve her without touching her. I have started calling her my sunshine, from the classic song. She doesn’t realize I’m sending a message because she doesn’t know what the song is really about.,. Any advice?
Maybe it's a health/ hormonal issue... If there's such a drastic change after childbirth, it could be that.... Document yourself and keep your eyes open... Sleeping, eating patterns hair, nails etc
You mean porn! Seems to be a big problem in most relationship's, 0 communication for the entire relationship only sex in the beginning 2 1/2 years of his porn addiction and no sex or intimacy no communication no kind talking nothing it's ugh and no he does what he sants while I walk on eggshells
I never control him at all. In fact we barely speak about anything. I don’t lash out he does. I think I hurt his ego years ago when I wanted more sexual satisfaction and said so cause I was having hormone imbalances and needed it a the time. Since then he’s not been interested.
So what if it seems to be just his personality? I’m 23 years old and married to my husband also 23 years old for about 5 years. He has never been into kissing me.. I try to make out with him but he only does it for seconds and then stops. There have been times when I try being cute and kiss all over his face and he will literally push my away, like a child! He’s always done this and im just now realizing how much I don’t like that about him. I want to kiss! What can I do???
Iam desperate your channel has helped me my partner does not understand about contacting him even i throws my arms and legs around him he can not bare the touch and he flics me off he only he wants to hug in the m😢ning and l feel resentment 😢!!
17 years i don't get any intimacy, physically emotionally or conversationally. No hugs or kisses. Sex is a pointless waste of my time. He gets off but doesn't care if i do or not really. Pays no attention to me really. I should leave but im the breadwinner and he wouldn't survive without my money. Also i don't want that for my kids coz he is a good dad
If you are the breadwinner, then I can make an assumption that you probably have some issue with trying to have control over everything. You probably unintentionally micromanage your husband because you're so use to having responsibilities rest on your shoulders. You probably even feel like you're the leader simply because you make more. And that's making him not want to have sex with you. You probably aren't soft enough in your attitude towards your husband. You probably even come off as masculine. You aren't being flirty, playful, and cute. No man will reject sex and intimacy without a reason.
3 years detached from me n found his been seeing other women ? He apolged n said sorry can we start again seems have no problem txting phoning eyeing other women ? Cheating but wen i confronted him got abusive angary n said he happy for us live as married but no sex ?? Can i live in sexless marriage ? Been told im too daft with him door mat ??
Ive neem seening a dude for 4mo now. Met him Mom and kid. Ue opens doors and is helpful without being asked. Compliments me all the time. If je uears a concern in my viice he notices it and wants to talk about it. He is very protective if me when we are together and we soend time together. Wont touch me. And whenever I ask anout it ue offers some excuse that ouns sometning on me. Like that I am busy with work. Ir I have to much going on. Or give it dome more weeks till ky kid graduates and I habe more time. Always an excuse that leaves it him being cinsiderate of ME. But that aint it. Not sure what it is tho.
He makes the excuse its work, I've asked many times, I try to communicate, its always the same old saying!! He will always make it a Saturday date night we go out evening and usually end up making love, but last 3 weeks it hasn't, i know its not long, but I do overthink, I did lose it one weekend why a Saturday, when he couldn't perform, I then apologise but he took that apologise, but not apologise or tell me why? we are usually great day to day but never in a week its never random??? Hes making work be the problem. 3 weeks not done, he fell asleep watching the Tv on out date nite before even thinking about sex?? I do feel rejected I kept calm, this time I was calm, hes always been that way from the being at weekends only??? 😣 when I instigated it, he was too tired never did it AGAIN?? Rejected I felt was awful, feeling😔🥰 he goes on how beautiful I am hes a great supporter, I've worked hard on myself lost weight and slimmer so why? I make that effort, I put make up on etc!! To look good I feel great but still humble, kind and respectable, caring, always and I praise when credit is due like. He does me to. Hes sacrificing hes work on our relationship if that what it is???🥺🤔
Yep mine was addicted to pain killers so he had ED. never felt it was my fault because I know Im attractive and men wanna have sex with me . Got divorced and Im a lot happier.
Intimacy and physical touch are 2 different things. You can have physical touch and no intimacy. Its a lonely marriage when your spouse is not intimate trust me.
This is what i am experiencing with my husband. I don’t believe in the love languages either. People can have numerous love languages in my opinion so 🤷♀️
Would you agree or disagree with intimacy and sex are different?
There are three parts to intimacy within the context of marriage. There is the spiritual, the emotional and the physical. Taking away any one of those will erode the intimacy from the other areas. Physical touch is most definitely part of intimacy. I think you’re getting confused with a booty call
So so true it's totally a lonely marriage! I'm going through it and it sucks!😢
You guys might consider the love triangle- intimacy, commitment, and passion. All are needed for a healthy relationship.
8 yrs of empathy and patience is no longer going through something..it's a narcissistic symptom.
Nearly 4 and it's so insane because we get along like best buddies and used to have a wonderful physical life. I don't want to leave but it's like torture and I feel like it's gotten to the point that it may be that I have to admit that I'm not strong enough to go on like this.
I’d rather have a divorce than live the rest of my life pining for touch or affection… It’s a deal breaker for me…
Same
Same!
26 years of marriage with him on the road as a truck driver only home weekends. Myself being so lonely raising two sons and never sharing the really really hard issues of raising them in fear of him stressing out and him dieting from an accident while driving on Ice.
He left me a long time ago.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
There is to m
In life you have to remember this you can't enforce your rules, your comfort to someone else, life is about accepting the struggle and just move on. Unfortunately we live in a world were most the time we can't live at our fullest according how we want
If he refused to say it
We never get to know a person no matter how long you have been together. Believe me
I keep telling people that!!!…
100% agreed!!
That's what my great grandma used to say..true facts!
You can go your whole life without even knowing yourself.
Yup! People change
Be careful about bolting if you have a roof over your head.you have supers,house,security.if their is no drugs or alcoholic issues.keep yourselves fresh and attractive.and stay together.the grass is not greener out in the wide world.im in my 60s and renting and working hard just to eat and pay rent.all because of a husband who had a mid life crises at 40.i took ill and he couldnt face it.i was off work for 6 months and he couldn't stand by me.
As man i can say, if my wife/gf wont let me touch her, BUT also dont want to talk about it with me i would just leave idgaf. Thats the same all women should do when the husband/bf is doing that shit
Imagine being a Christian believing you can’t divorce unless they hit you or cheat… just imagine. What then. I don’t even want to leave I just want him to go back to being him…
Thank you for the support and your honesty.
And if you’ve been married for 50 years and he haven’t touched you for over a year. Should I leave him? When I need him or turn to another man?
Why don’t you adress porn as a huge reason this men can’t be with their wives healthily.
My husband is a sex /porn addict. He was bored before the ink was dry on our marriage license.
I knew something was really wrong in the beginning, but he would look me straight in the eyes and lie and lie. Over time I had to finagle him just to get some intimacy. Other times he would act enthusiastic, but it was only an act. In the last year together, we had sex only 7 times. He couldn't look at my face ever.
When I was a much younger woman I never knew this could happen, let alone to me. I used to be a red blooded woman, now all of that is dead and gone.
The one big problem you forgot to mention is porn! It changes their brains and they don't want true love making intimacy with a real woman!
Can you explain why? I'm dealing with this😔
Exactly…, why these coaches aren’t talking about this . Porn equals all the other problems . It is the mother and father of all marriage problems including deceitful behaviour , and even their physical body changes
Porn is a huge part of why men dont want sex or even want to please you. When you do have sex he gets please and you get nothing. I've tried everything, I'm tired of the bikini photos, adding women friends who post seductive photos. Sad that stupid love languages don't cover the real problem...PORN.
Yessss!!!
After 20 years of my wife rejecting my advances…guess what I stopped advancing! She finally got what she had shaped for so long.
It's best to be single it's peace of mind cos some men are a lot of work and I believe it's because a lot of them are not brought up by their fathers who are supposed to be great mentors and teach them how to treat the women in their lives. Every relationship thrive on communication so if men have difficulty communicating then what's the point being in a relationship with them it's too much work for a woman always trying to baby a grown ass man when she has kids to take care of. Men should rise up to be the leaders their wives need and not be babies
Preach it, sister! And the church said, "Amen"
100 % agree!!!🤦♀️
So true
1000% Agreed. It’s all about mentoring.
SHOUT IT from the mountain top!!! Women want 'real men' who are not boys in a man's body, who have courage, who are strong overall, who will communicate about the relationship (not sports/news/politics ALL THE TIME), who will HELP raise their own children, who will LEAD like a real leader, and who are not SELFISHHHHHHHH to the hilt! And who will actually love/die for their wife. Most men want a TON of RESPECT, but where is the SELFLESS LOVE for the wives??????
If i have a husband that doesn't "touch" me, then what's the point to stay in such a marriage or relationship ? I'd rather be single then staying in a celibate marriage/rrlationship. If something is bothering you, we should be able to talk about it. That's why I'm your wife, so I have to help you find a solution together. Don't you want that ? Then very soon our paths will part !
When you have been rejected for so long, why try ?
This struck my soul.😞
The truth!!!!!
😞 exactly, married 5yrs, and I get nothing but hopeless and lonely.
Because we love them?? The commitment means something to us.
@@kittyphillips2475 it's just over 4 years for me. Cannot help feeling like this is wrong... but I feel it's right for my kids... and he claims complete love always. Actions are crap. Just enough to look like he's perfect... he's crafty and careful but the pain only builds.
4 years 🤣 I’ve tried everything, making myself attractive, communicate , cook clean obey him I’ve tried everything and I asked him at the end babe please share with me what’s the problem , and his answer was my problem is YOU 🥺 . What should I do in this case?
If you’re an independent and a choice to live without him then leaaaaavvveee ! For your best future!
Katy if you are a believer of Christ I'd really try to get him in church.
What if we have a baby ?
The 4th possibility he's cheating as it turned out he was getting everything he needed outside of the home so when he came home he was too tired and couldn't get it up
I just think at this point my husband is in denial about the lack of. We talked about it many times and it always turns to an argument. He says so put him down as a man. I try to talk to him to try to figure out where is the disconnect but get no where. Before he would make excuses for it because of his Heath situation and says he would try to get help. But I don’t know what came of it. It’s so frustrating because i literally tell him I need that from him but i feel like I get dismissed. He makes no effort to try but will have a list of reason why he couldn’t.
I so fed up with always feeling rejected
My husband kiss me everytime he leaves home and he holds my hand when we go to bed.Thats it.He have never said i look nice or look hot or anything like that.He is really hard to talk to.
Growing up i lived with my mum.She was emotional abusive.She just sat there knitting.Never eye contact,short answers and could be silent for days.I could ask her and she looked at me and i would start to cry.I moved out as 16 yr living in a house with drug addicts or on the street.I was traumatised and was on drugs for yrs.Finally sober i am finding this guy that its the male version of my mother!I am in therapy now to build up some strenght so i can leave .We are just living together.
We used to have sex but i got so tired of saying not so hard and not so fast.And when sex isnt good i dont care having sex.He never reach out to me so now we can go months without.They say you will find a partner that is like your parents and for my case its like that
People do not know what they actually have..
I got married 3 years before, at first everything was normal but we never got intimate after the day we got to know about my pregnancy , it's been over 2.5 years now.. he lost interest in me completely.. not even physical touch, affection, not even hugs..i tried a lot but nothing is arousing him towards me
It's okay. He isn't interested. You should understand this. I would say if you are open enough find someone who adores you and gives you what he doesn't.
Did your body change?
Don’t get mad when the affair happens then 😏
Thank you Danny for advise. I discovered thru experience your reason for a man coldness are all true. Especially if he’s interested or involved with 3rd party.
I appreciate your feedback, Jam. Thank you for watching!
Coach Danny
My husbands 3rd party is his mum, who verbally abuses me and after 24 yrs, I have said I no longer want to see her. I'm scared now cause I've always been forced to see her no matter her disrespectful attitude towards me. I got sick in the process and am trying to heal myself but him pulling away is showing me he chooses his mum over me.
@@reneedwards1082 He is nice person, always love your parents
20 years married and 10 years of no touch or intimacy
20 years and I feel alone and rejected
19 faithful years to find out he's been cheating for 4 years !!! UGGH I'm sick and done
I'm right there with you sebrina.
30 years and not once have I ever rejected her. I can literally say I've never been too tired, never had a headache, and never wasn't in the mood. You get my point...
Me too. 32 years. I’m tired. I’m done.
This is how I feel.
You speak so clearly and straight to the point, everything you say makes sense. Thank you. In laws can also lead to you not wanting to touch your partner
Yes, after 24 yrs of verbal abuse, I have said I never want to see him mummy anymore as they are enmeshed, not wanting to hurt him or stop him from seeing her, but rather protecting myself from her rudeness. He has recoiled, instead of the usual touch, hugging etc scary!!
My husband touched 2 times by his own choice, but now its been 8 months always I pull him, he dont even cuddle at night. I am dying inside, why, why he is not touching me ? 😭
my husband is the same Hes never been the type to just reach out in bed, even though he seemed to more when we were sexually active But ever since he lost his ability, (about two whole years now) NOTHIING AT ALL So me, knowing that he was never the touchy type, I decided to never reach over to his side of the bed But then, stupid me, after two years I rolled over and put my arm around him and he was so stiff and unresponsive Its a horrible feeling Im dead sure that Ill never do it again Its very demeaning even though its your partner, it still made me feel embarrassed or desperate even though I wasnt trying to initiate sex
@@marcoacosta2917 yeah its not an easy feeling, heart cry out, feel separation, and feel very left out, as if Only I am having any lack.
Societal pressures to quash any kind of masculine behaviour as it is deemed toxic has a large part to play. I always waited for my (feminist) wife to initiate as I didn't want to make any kind of unwanted advance and end up being labelled creepy, pervy or straight up sex mad which is the default feminine response to a mans natural sexual behaviour these days. So instead, I worked my arse off to show her how much I loved her. We're divorced now, basically because I didn't worship her crotch enough. Oh well... At least I have peace now, I won't be heading back to the plantation ever again. Well done ladies, you've collectively made men afraid to be men then wonder why you don't get regularly pounced on in the bedroom. Slow clap..... Great work girls, way to ruin literally everything! .
@@akashganga7844 I know it kills you from inside if you have an unemotional husband..I have been living with one for last 20 years..it is demeaning for a wife to beg to her husband for loving and touching and trust me when I say that you won't get any by begging also...if you don't hv kids I would strongly suggest to divorce him and find a person who is really interested in loving you and living with you...don't stay....these people don't change....and if kids are there you can't leave but you will be dying a slow death everyday and they still don't change....leave him girl
@@akashganga7844 Try to take him to church and bring Jesus into the center of it.
I am so physically lonely in my marriage. I have no doubt that my husband adores me, but physical touch just isn’t important to him - like it never occurs to him as a possibility. I don’t know how to fill that very real void.
Mine does this when there is a third party in the picture-a guilty conscience. It his tell
You ever thought that the wife…. been doing this for yrs and the husband…just gives up. Oh no you have to show me affection…but I don’t have too….
Been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We have an age gap, I'm 27 while he is 35 with a child already. And he always says hes going to open up one day but it only seems to get worse. He says he loves and cares for me, but now even sex is a problem. I try to make myself look nice, get my hair done, new clothing, I'm in great shape , and I barely get a glance. He blames his actions on him being so behind in life. Not sure if it's worth waiting anymore time.
Hey there,
It looks like he has a lot of self work to do. I know hard hard It is to open up when you have so many suppressed emotions and insecurities that aren't being adressed.
@@HappilyCommitted yes I completely agree, years of heart break I guess did that to him. Thank you, I'll keep giving him my all. 🖤🖤🖤
@@CozyCowPooper whoa wait... I'm sure that's what he meant... girl you need to take care of yourself too... keep looking, keep researching and trying... but do not lose yourself. Find friends, distractions - positive ones. So you can bring more of yourself home to your family. Try not to expect and overnight changes. Happiness is infectious... how to get there for you will be your own task... but do not stop searching for the answer with the best feeling.
It’s not…. Mine did all of that stuff and stillnothing no change forget it!
Get out now, it doesn’t get better, it gets worse
My husband just tells me it isn’t his love language. He does acts of services for me, which is nice but that’s all i get no touch really. Kiss here and there but that’s it.
I am kind of in the same boat. Married for 31 years, he is not a great communicater as well.
The point of knowing love languages is so you can love the other one how they feel loved and you can tell them how to love you. If his love language is act of service, great! Do it for him! If yours is physical touch then he should do it for you! He is using love language to justify selfishness instead of loving effectively and consciously.
@Hard knocks Montage true! He is not sexually attracted to you.
Yes he does acts of service for me. Not thY I don't appreciate it but it's not how I feel loved. He doesn't kiss me or touch me no hugs and no sex if I don't initiate any of it. It was not like this when we were dating.
I'm with you Tina and mine is acts of service too. I never ever get touched. It's horrible and I have asked him and told him what I'd like. I get a peck every now then. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I am married 24 years together with him 30 years and he has told me he loved me only twice. I read about something called intimacy anorexia and that’s what he has. He doesn’t wanna have sex with me so we haven’t had sex in seven years because I gained about 80 pounds. I just lost 65 pounds and he still doesn’t complement me or try to have sex with me.
Hi Lynn,
First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing your story. Also, congratulations on your weight loss journey, that is AMAZING! I say that to bring up this point, do not put your own happiness and success in the hands of another individual. If you do, they have the ability to nurture it or crush it. Be proud of yourself for your achievements. I would recommend putting yourself back on the pedestal and focusing a little more on your own personal happiness.
- Coach Danny
@@HappilyCommitted thank you
He has issues not you, focus on yourself and you are not been selfish when you do love yourself loose wait for you and your health not for him obviously you can't make him happy and you can't make him happy so happy yourself
Damn, I’ve lost 20lbs and he hasn’t mentioned it. I was trying to lose 50lbs in hopes that he might notice me 😭
You deserve more than that. It’s time to consider leaving him. You shouldn’t have to beg your spouse to notice you.
I feel mine started after I found out he had an affair. And he is still watching poem and lying about it.
I think mine is being unfaithful.
Thank you for reaching out, Linda.
⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373
Coach Danny
Intuition
Have things gotten better?
Ironically we argue less than we ever have . I’ve asked him why one month ago he suddenly stopped sleeping with me especially as we had just purchased a new bed. His answer was incredulous as he says he doesn’t like sleeping in beds !
So I asked him outright , is it because you prefer not to sleep with me . Is reply was , no.
I’m not so concerned why he doesn’t sleep with me , I’m concerned about his ridiculous reasons lol
This was too funny lol !!!!
What about husband doesnt want to talk
Women love Narcs. Narcs don't want to have sex with "mommy." That is the reason sometimes.
As a man, I can say this is accurate af 🤔 female narc use sex to manipulate n male narc use pushing away tactic
I'm not receiving any intimacy or affection. It sucks
Hi Carol,
Thank you so much for sharing. I would recommend the following two things:
1. Have a conversation with your partner about the lack of intimacy and try to understand why it has faded.
2. Take the lead. I know that rejection can be scary but sometimes we have to show our partner exactly what it is we want or like.
If none of these work for you, I would recommend taking a step back and evaluating the relationship. Is this something that is fulfilling? Is it meeting your needs/expectations? Is there any unresolved conflict that is resulting in lack of intimacy? External stressors? etc.
- Coach Danny
5 love languages read for work but had husband take the quiz. We have the same love languages.
5 years and every verbal abuse under the sun.
I have asked for a divorce several times. He calls me stupid and he is going to take care of me. We havent had close contact in the last 16 years and we have been together 33 years. I can number the times of close contact on my fingers and toes. He got to where he used close contact as a reward if I did something he wanted...
You are so amazing Danny!! I just want to thank you bc I feel I am understanding my husband so much better after watching your videos.
Hi Jessica! Thank you so much for the kind words. I am glad you feel like you are connecting with your husband more. :)
- Coach Danny
Going through this. He said it's because I don't listen I'm trying but when I do things right ,something else irritates him. I don't dress up because we never go anywhere. I just feel like it'll be better to add a sexual partner for me so I don't bother him. We always argue. I shut down and feel so bad that I cut my face to feel better. I'm confused and don't know what to do
Hi Ericka, thank you so much for sharing your story. Self-inflicted harm is a very serious matter. I would highly recommend seeking a licensed psychotherapist to help you explore your emotions/situation. You can click on the following link to find a therapist in your are: www.psychologytoday.com
- Coach Danny
I think u pointed out very important parts about a man and I agree with your responses this is so true.
My husband said his love language is physical touch, but it is not happening. He did cheat year 3 of marriage. Counseling was interesting and not in a good way. He was using online atforms to hook up. Now we are year 8. This is his 3rd marriage. I think this flame is burning out.
We're so sorry to hear about this. If you need to speak with a coach one on one, I would highly suggest you do so with this link: happilycommitted.com/coaching/
-HC Team
Between the alcohol, his addictions, his lies and lack of remembering anything ( seriously ) I’m married to a ghost.
I would love information about no sex, no touch, alcoholism and no connection.
@Alex Nelson Yes please Alex!
If the spiritual connection is not from our God Almighty creator of heaven and earth and everything in it, do not get into it. It is evil and it may create more problems than you already have. Trust God only because He will hear your prayer if you have faith in Him. God bless you and give you peace that comes from Him.
Hi what happens if that is going on for over 5 years. Does he still need time. He
Shows others more love languages than his wife. Yes there are kids and he ignore them as well. 🤷♀️
Id argue that men don’t want to speak because everything we want to say would upset her, especially if she’s our stressor. Anything we bring up is just going to be blown up and would turn into an argument. And then, when women want to do nothing but talk and bicker, it fosters further anxiety and stress 🤷🏼♂️
100% Truth
Hi Nick., Just a small thought, What about having therapy both alone and with your spouse!
My husband, has refused any form of help, therapy or counselling or cognitive behavioural skills!
He’s rejected God to😢
He wasn’t allowed to speak as a Child/ he had Extremely Over Strict Parents!
He was not taught Boundaries!
I’m still around., but not sure for how much longer!
Every one says there’s nil more I can do for him!
He has to now Try to help himself!
Bless you! 🙏🏻
Such true. My wife is like that. No matter how good i am there is always (And if need create a situation to be)something to complain or get angry about.
Well I'm a woman, and I keep bringing stuff up because it's not fixed... I feel my guy would like it if I just smiled regardless of what he is doing that's hurtful... I think things would be much better if he also took the time and energy to notice when something is off acá then assessed it.... That way I wouldn't have to complain... My point is, take charge, educate your wife i on how to communicate respectfully... Get o the problem before she does... Dunno. My two cents
Well this is BS. Ladies your husband/long term boyfriend is not touching you anymore because he is sick of the rejection. It’s that simple. He has most likely gotten to the paint where he would rather not try to touch you then get pushed away because you are to busy or sweaty or tired. It’s not because he has something else on his mind. It’s years packed on years of getting shot down and being treated like a room mate.
It sounds like he wasn't good at the job to begin with. 🤷♂️
My boyfriend treats me like a roommate. It's only me initiating. Now, after a last brutal rejection where he literally threw me off the bed, I stopped initiating. Now I want to cheat on him or break up. Talking to him hasn't worked.
Best response 😅
I’ve never rejected
my partner never touched me for years, we never argued…i later discovered he was getting his needs met elsewhere ( escorts). i ended the relationship after 12 years of wasted life. betrayed
What if he always has some sort of reason as to why when you ask. I can’t help but assume he isnt into me … he’s a lovely man I al,ost would prefer him to say he’s gay at this point
I have a problem with intimate touching because my spouse rarely has sex with me. Hugging, touching, kissing has all become more difficult for me because it reminds me that we're not having sex. Every touch and every intimate moment is poisoned for me because I know they have walls up and are not completely comfortable being with me physically. We're talking through it. There are a lot of details I'm leaving out, but I avoid touch because I feel like I'm being treated like a teddy bear, not like a husband.
Same thing happened with me any solution???
Ill say this to any woman, micromanaging your man and being bossy is a surefire way to turn him off. My wife is the "corporate" type and she micromanages me and it makes me go so limp. Its from asking me "do you have everything?" to "did you shut the door?" "Did you close the cabinet?". It makes you feel like you're married to your mom. Just be soft ladies. I dont know why its so hard, but dont be that kind of wife. If you see something that needs to be adjusted, just do it yourself. Only ask your husband to do something big, like help move something or pay for something or drive you somewhere.
Thank you
Have you tried closing the cabinets like an adult would?
My husband used to touch me a lot now he hardly touches me when I talk to him about it he tells me sorry and he does be affectionate for a few days then he go back to the way it was before I don't know what is the problem then when we are intimate he hardly touches me also I'm a very affectionate person is there something I can do to help get it the way it used to be we have also decided to go get counseling for other issues
This This is very much my experience as well although therapy hasn't helped us I went shortly after we got back from the honeymoon
Simple he is not attracted to you
@@Bell-wh4vm then he needs to get the F on… he not being held hostage… see proves my point males make shit difficult, and want to see agony… it ain’t even that type of party. He just don’t love himself other than that he is a deranged individual. Who does that? Other than sadistic fakes.
@@brunosmine3132 You guys should go to church and get prayer for it and Godly advice. King Jesus is the answer😇
@@vivaeuropa Chill out with the god speak. Not everyone wants to follow an imaginary person. Too many of us believe in Science and facts.
I don't touch my wife because she shut me down a million times.... But hey, she's a great roomie and i just play video games and wait to die.
🤣🤣
Damn lol
Ouch lol !
I did laugh so much your comment, really,you are so funny.
Many western women use their personality as a form of contraception
I'll give you #4. He's on the down low.
Well, I have a tendency of shutting down and going off and living my own life when I am repeatedly rejected as someone else said here why try anymore? Every time it is brought up. I am punished and attacked for very gently expressing my feelings. This is a second marriage and I feel very duped. He was completely different when we were dating. His adult son moved in with us and that made things very difficult and I think honestly there’s just a ton of resentment he’s not willing to let go of.
So helpful! Thank you so much for this video! 🙏
You're so welcome!
My boyfriend has been with me for over 3 years. since i had a miscarriage, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore because he is afraid that we have abby and miscarriage again. After 3 months, no sex is happening because he says he is tired and I know we are equally tired. after 5 months we were joking and I asked my boyfriend why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. He said that I'm not as sexy as I used to be. My belly is getting bigger and my body is no longer sexy. At first I was hurt but I asked myself if it's normal for men to prefer a sexy body. My boyfriend is nice, he never cheats on me. I saw his phone, social media and also his colleagues, he always picked me up after my work. please help me to explain to me this situation.
Why your husband isn’t touching you.
1. You stopped prioritizing your physical appearance
2. He’s unhappy (you belittle him, disrespect him, nag, a revue etc.)
3. You stopped prioritizing your physical appearance
You’re welcome!
1. The husband creates an environment where the wife cannot prioritize her physical appearance.
2. The husband makes the wife and entire family unhappy.
I shut down emotionally when my wife cheated on me. Took me a long time to touch her again.
I have never touched her again because she caught herpes and sypholis on her first outing, so I missed that bullet.
What to do if he doesnt want to communicate in the first place on any issues ?
I am an Indian women … I am married from last 5 years and my husband doesn’t find me attractive bcz f my weight .. I live in usa n doesn’t dressed up like sexy women .. though I wear jeans n dress but doesn’t look good in that dress .. From last 5 years he is asking me to loose weight , put lipstic , dolled up … I don’t understand why this craziness.. I literally cry every day bcz now every 1 is asking me for child n I don’t hv ans for this … on my ovulation time also v usually fight bcz he comes for sex n watch xvideos .. I feel so irritated..
Or doesn't want to touch
From personal experience i dont understand why anyone is so hung up about not having sex. For me it was and is the biggest letdown in life. Alot of hype but no real reward. That with my wifes lack of interest in it really lends to the thought its nothing amazing. Or i just suck at it and have no feeling. Any thoughts
Well, my husband of 24 years was gay, is gay and was gay when he married me.
What about saying"let's talk about our sex life" and then "this is important to me"
Remember to speak as his equal
So coddle him like a baby? Men need to grow up. Why is it always the women need to be understanding and try to coax them into being human? Then when we do they accuse us of trying to control them or are needy and they want to be left alone. It’s exhausting.
It just doesn't feel as good or exciting as my past lovers.
Im 36w pregnant today
It’s been 3+ weeks for us
He still hugs & kisses me
Says I love you
Everytime I bring up seggs I get ignored 😢
Idk what to think other than I’m not attractive anymore & he only loves me as a person. I really wanna have it a few times before baby comes because it’ll go even longer
Can someone please give me advice on my situation. I’m 26, no kids, very few sexual partners in my past & medium to high sex drive, fit body, work full time and pay all my own bills, I’m college educated and my boyfriend who I have been with for 2 years has always had an issue having sex with me. It’s been 27 days now on this particular streak and I feel very hurt. I do all of the sexy things that people say to do and still he doesn’t want me
He's either not that into you, he's not into women at all, or he has a lower libido than you and doesn't require sex as frequently as you do.
Been patient for 6 plus years. Ive communicated how i feel throughout that time. Ive asked what he needs from me. All i get is that im pretty much the perfect wife and he doesnt know why he doesnt give me the attention and love that i deserve.
Thing is he STOPPED being affectionate ... so he knows how to. Just doesn't.
Tired of communicating it . At this poit im done of living without affection. I tried from the very beginning to nip it in the butt ... he never took me serious. Now we're here .. now that im done he finally gets it.
Interesting. Keep it up Chaddy.
Father’s days is like 17th on the list for being celebrated.
thank you for this
You're welcome, Ly. Thank you for watching!
Coach Danny
This is so helpful
I don't think our mother's and grannies had the attitudes of today's women. I wonder why🤔
FEMINISM
Western women are toxic.
Thank you for sharing it
You're welcome!
Coach Danny
If you are still fielding questions on this topic…My situation is reversed in that it’s my wife that has changed.
Before marriage neither of us could get enough of the other. Of course I expected the excitement, frequency of and the intensity to drop after marriage. Honeymoon stage ending, it happens.
We wanted a child together so we tried and there came a time that I had to go to my doctor to get that little pill to help me at times.
Fast forward to after our son was born and when the change occurred. First 7-8 months after I didn’t even try to start the highest level of intimacy because her body had to heal. I was denied. (Shorten the story) Two years later I asked her to go to counseling, she did-2times. My love language is physical touch hers is acts of service. Our son is 13 now and the denial of physical touch is literally that she doesn’t want me to touch her at all. No hugs, no holding hands, not even in the bed we share when I sleep. I’m a side sleeper and have chronic pain so I turn over frequently, apparently one night I woke her when my arm and hand was touching her back. We now have a pillow wall between us to stop that.
I could go on and on but the jest is she has drastically changed. Even her closest and lifelong friends say that she isn’t the same person they knew.
So that’s where I am. I have initiated many changes of myself, small steps to get us back to where we were. She point blank told me that if I was changing in hopes that she will give in that I was wasting my time.
So here I am, I have the woman that I love right in front of me and all I can do is serve her without touching her.
I have started calling her my sunshine, from the classic song. She doesn’t realize I’m sending a message because she doesn’t know what the song is really about.,.
Any advice?
Divorce her
Maybe it's a health/ hormonal issue... If there's such a drastic change after childbirth, it could be that.... Document yourself and keep your eyes open... Sleeping, eating patterns hair, nails etc
when your partner is cheating and being sneaky, and lying and you ignore me while I'm trying to communicate, yeah I wouldn't touch you either.
Hard to bring back the normal sexual intimacy to a partner who suffered psychiatrical problem and is on medical for life time maintenance....
What if they have put on so much weight they can't get a position and are embarrassed about themselves ?
You mean porn! Seems to be a big problem in most relationship's, 0 communication for the entire relationship only sex in the beginning 2 1/2 years of his porn addiction and no sex or intimacy no communication no kind talking nothing it's ugh and no he does what he sants while I walk on eggshells
Mines way worse than that
I never control him at all. In fact we barely speak about anything. I don’t lash out he does. I think I hurt his ego years ago when I wanted more sexual satisfaction and said so cause I was having hormone imbalances and needed it a the time. Since then he’s not been interested.
What did "more sexual satisfaction " entail to you?
Reason why we need lovers. Once they say no you call your lover
Thank you so much but I don’t understand my man
Right but meet can do all those little things to us too and we can be stressed too but god for bid if we say no 🙄 double standard
or he could be watching pornography....and lack of intimacy has nothing to do with you.
So what if it seems to be just his personality? I’m 23 years old and married to my husband also 23 years old for about 5 years. He has never been into kissing me.. I try to make out with him but he only does it for seconds and then stops. There have been times when I try being cute and kiss all over his face and he will literally push my away, like a child! He’s always done this and im just now realizing how much I don’t like that about him. I want to kiss! What can I do???
I guess it’s really not his love language but it definitely is mine…
Iam desperate your channel has helped me my partner does not understand about contacting him even i throws my arms and legs around him he can not bare the touch and he flics me off he only he wants to hug in the m😢ning and l feel resentment 😢!!
17 years i don't get any intimacy, physically emotionally or conversationally. No hugs or kisses. Sex is a pointless waste of my time. He gets off but doesn't care if i do or not really. Pays no attention to me really. I should leave but im the breadwinner and he wouldn't survive without my money. Also i don't want that for my kids coz he is a good dad
You are an enabler. 🙃🤷♀️
And you settle for that?
@@TomikaKellyHow do you know?
If you are the breadwinner, then I can make an assumption that you probably have some issue with trying to have control over everything. You probably unintentionally micromanage your husband because you're so use to having responsibilities rest on your shoulders. You probably even feel like you're the leader simply because you make more. And that's making him not want to have sex with you. You probably aren't soft enough in your attitude towards your husband. You probably even come off as masculine. You aren't being flirty, playful, and cute. No man will reject sex and intimacy without a reason.
3 years detached from me n found his been seeing other women ? He apolged n said sorry can we start again seems have no problem txting phoning eyeing other women ? Cheating but wen i confronted him got abusive angary n said he happy for us live as married but no sex ?? Can i live in sexless marriage ? Been told im too daft with him door mat ??
True?! that’s my husband with me. He never a touch me unless I touch him. First !! he being like that as he he can older I guess.
I’ve gone through this hard time
thank u
you are very welcome!
- Coach Danny
Ive neem seening a dude for 4mo now. Met him Mom and kid. Ue opens doors and is helpful without being asked. Compliments me all the time. If je uears a concern in my viice he notices it and wants to talk about it. He is very protective if me when we are together and we soend time together. Wont touch me.
And whenever I ask anout it ue offers some excuse that ouns sometning on me. Like that I am busy with work. Ir I have to much going on. Or give it dome more weeks till ky kid graduates and I habe more time. Always an excuse that leaves it him being cinsiderate of ME. But that aint it. Not sure what it is tho.
He makes the excuse its work, I've asked many times, I try to communicate, its always the same old saying!! He will always make it a Saturday date night we go out evening and usually end up making love, but last 3 weeks it hasn't, i know its not long, but I do overthink, I did lose it one weekend why a Saturday, when he couldn't perform, I then apologise but he took that apologise, but not apologise or tell me why? we are usually great day to day but never in a week its never random??? Hes making work be the problem. 3 weeks not done, he fell asleep watching the Tv on out date nite before even thinking about sex?? I do feel rejected I kept calm, this time I was calm, hes always been that way from the being at weekends only??? 😣 when I instigated it, he was too tired never did it AGAIN?? Rejected I felt was awful, feeling😔🥰 he goes on how beautiful I am hes a great supporter, I've worked hard on myself lost weight and slimmer so why? I make that effort, I put make up on etc!! To look good I feel great but still humble, kind and respectable, caring, always and I praise when credit is due like. He does me to. Hes sacrificing hes work on our relationship if that what it is???🥺🤔
All this is fine but what if your spouse just walks away when you try to speak to him. It never used to be like this.
My husband does the same, I’ll be talking to him and he will be looking right at me and shut the door in my face.
Hard life
My partner have erectile dysfunction so we didn't sex for a few months now but still we love each other hugging and kissing and im also quirky to him
55 years with him I think he has ED
Yep mine was addicted to pain killers so he had ED. never felt it was my fault because I know Im attractive and men wanna have sex with me .
Got divorced and Im a lot happier.