Growing old: The unbearable lightness of ageing | Jane Caro | TEDxSouthBank
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2015
- Ageing is a gift, according to Jane Caro. In this funny, insightful and at times challenging TEDx talk she encourages us all to embrace ageing.
Jane Caro has a low boredom threshold and so wears many hats; including author, novelist, lecturer, mentor, social commentator, columnist, workshop facilitator, speaker, broadcaster and award winning advertising writer. The common thread running through her career is a delight in words and a talent for using them to connect with other people. @JaneCaro
@TEDxSouthBank
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Worked for almost 40 years. I'm 71 and I adore being invisible to both men and women. No one gives a hoot about who I am, how I look or what I say and I feel the same about them. I'm a stranger in this land of old age, but I'm settling right in and plan to sparkle like champagne until the end.
Sally That's lovely:)
So with you there, Sally!
I feel the same. I am 62, and feel and see myself aging. Undoubtedly there is a benefit to doing and saying what you please. ☺️
my experience too about being invisible - a childhood dream and now it is here at 73
Sparkle bright girl!
As a 72-year-old male of the species, I can't say I understand how the female feels. I know we age differently, both physically and mentally. But I do have a beautiful 71-year-old wife who has shown me how to age gracefully. I didn't realize how much she means to me until last August when I almost lost her. Thanks to the skills of one of the top heart surgeons in the country and 4 bypasses, she is still in my arms at the end of the day and I still start my day looking into those big, beautiful blue eyes! As I said earlier, she gets more beautiful each day. Of course, maybe it's just that my eyes are traveling in time and I see her as she was at 22 when we got married. But, no, she IS beautiful and smart and kind and giving beyond measure and her grandchildren worship her, as do our children and I. I think the granddaughters just tolerate me. The eldest, who is 16 (her sister is 10), reminds me once in a while that I am getting older, but never says that about grandma! But just when I think my grandchildren are ready to put the old guy out to pasture, they put my favorite movie in the DVD player, grab some pillows, soft drinks and a big bowl of popcorn and snuggle up to me on the couch. With the heads of the two most beautiful girls on the planet resting on my shoulders, I know I am one of the luckiest old guys on the planet! And I know I am truly blessed and God is giving me a glimpse of heaven.
This comment really touched me. I’m still quite young, but I really do admire old people. They’ve went through so much challenges, experiences, and all that.. that I just admire how some of them have endured and overcome so many challenges in life. God Bless you, have a good day
That's beautiful,you are truly blessed
Your family is very lucky to have such a wonderful caring husband, father and grandfather. You have given them a beautiful and great gift.
Age 42 ....3 kids ....one grandkid and I was in crisis till I watched this. Old age was my biggest fear.I LOVE THIS! Growing old gracefully has to be better than aging skint in a cage made by society and the media. Thank you!
I turned 52 today & it's fantastic! (I have to say I LOVED being 45! I finally "fit" in my skin.)
I'm free of so many "burdens" now. It's a great stage stage of life.
Sit back & enjoy it! Never lament another birthday. Don't waste time on dread. Enjoy the freedoms aging offers you.
There is more to life than worrying about your age!
Na Noir, it gets better, too. Have fun, enjoy your life :D
@@werebilbyj4449 don't worry about it, embrace aging instead.
I’m 42 now, under depression.
Because of the aging thing .
Worried about my period go away
I don’t understand why this has only less than 60k viewers after 3 years. Every person can benefit from watching and listening to Mrs. Caro.
I loved this talk and agree with most of what she said, cheers. I am 84yrs young and feel great. I get more respect now with this white hair than I ever had before in my life. I did what I was put here to do and now I am free. Thank you God!
Faye Faraldo..I envy you. I am 67 and still don't know why I am here.
No it NOT great 👎🤮
I get no more respect now as a senior citizen than I did as a younger woman. Not that I got much respect as a younger woman. My grandsons love me but I am not sure my children do. I do not know my purpose for being here and if it weren’t for my young grandsons, I would have no further use to be on this earth.
Great fun and so true. It's refreshing to hear from a competent, articulate woman celebrating her age and owning it for the achievement it is. All us "middle aged" oldies should all be acting our age and enjoying every minute instead of mourning a youth that was often not all that great.
I'm only 20 but watching this makes me feel alot better about aging
You're a long, long way from being old, so don't worry about aging, just try to learn as much as possible, from the wisest of those who've lived long, in the meantime...
I would have also advised my twenty year old self (although much less was known then on the topic) to learn the meaning of 'personality disorder' because you'll be amazed at what that will do for you, your choice of marital partner etc.
Dear Kingstix, please enjoy being young if you can, it does come with its own set of challenges so you don't need to add worrying about aging to it. Enjoy being young, full of hope and if you are lucky, healthy. We do all age but you will have time enough later to worry about it. Viva la vida.
Youre already old. Look at all the 14yos around you
Dont buy balloons,and flowers
Literally why I’m here
When I reached 70 years old, I thought this can't be 70. I'm not stooped over, arthritic, filled with aches and pains and I don't shuffle along when i walk. WOW, was I happy to be 70. How the heck did I get here ? I figured that it had to do with me telling myself when I was 25 years old that I needed to change my attitude and become a happy, upbeat, positive person. It worked ! I was also inspired by two more ideas. 1) life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. 2) Barbra Streisand quoted someone who said, a life without love or passion is no life at all. I believe both. I am now 72 years old and l still look forward to everyday. I learn something new everyday,( whether I want to or not : ) ). With the internet, google earth, webcams etc, you can connect with the world. I wonder what new technology will come next. I can hardly wait. I have decided it is time to learn another language. I have chosen Italian because it sounds like a very lyrical language and mostly because I watched an Italian movie on youtube, with English subtitles, and it drove me nuts to have to read the subtitles to understand the movie. Wish me luck with that. I have discovered that what goes on in your body depends mostly on what is going on between your ears. Be good to yourself. Be true to who you are and NEVER lose your inner child.
👍 at 67 I agree with much of what is said. Humorous and wise.
I hope I can be a positive person like you as well.I am nineteen and I already feel sad because I am getting older and because I am afraid of how my life is going to be from now on and about how is going to change.I hope you can give me an advice and also good luck with learning Italian!!
I just love you! 🤗
What brothers me most is all my friends are dead or dying. I am only 73.
S.L.S
Thank you so much. I need it this today. I wish in my 70s I be like you
She is fantastic! I'm 48, 2 Daughters, a Grandson and separated and I'm loving it.
Jane Caro, I love your attitude to growing old! You are a funny lady who makes a lot of sense!
Where you on TV?
😂 I can’t see how this is a Ted Talk... she sounds like someone on the comedy stage circuit. She’s like an inspirational comedian, she has her own brand... brilliant!
Was thinking the same while attempting to watch this 'routine'...
it's aweful
What a breath of fresh air this lady is. I couldn't agree with her more, and the bonus was that she made me laugh. Thank you Jane Caro.
Fantastic.. I'm heading for 70 and I just loved this talk..right on and FUNNY.
My son is her age and my daughter two years older! We still refer to them as the kids! Me, I'm having fun and have been singing and swinging for 45 years since I got sober! Yay!
Am 53 & was gonna have some Botox until I just watched you, Now I feel more empowered thanks 😊
Tbh you look beatiful without it.
Not tryna lie but I thouht you were in your 40's ^^'.
You gotta be kidding, there's plenty of 20 year olds who look worse than you.
Love this talk. I always say, "Old is what you get if you're lucky."
Beautifully said! 👍😁
not lucky, I hate it.
Lmao cope
I totally agree with her! The older I get, the happier I get. I am 49. Sure, I liked being skinnier but I would not want to be younger again. I have come to far to go backward. Besides, what is gone is not that big of a deal to me because I love who I am overall now. I think there is a lot of truth in the fact that people who don't age well are missing something inside, loving themselves. When you love yourself, you really do let go of all of those other limitations of worrying about how you look or how others perceive you. The MOST important thing to me is not how others perceive me, but how how I perceive myself. :-)
A
I'm 48... and ENTIRELT agree with you... Well said..
I've been mentally struggling recently with the idea of what the rest of life will being with it. This talk has inspired me and helped me immensely. I plan to rewatch this regularly. I wish the best to everyone on their journeys! Thank you to this lovely woman♡
67 feel great. Perfect bloodwork and the best love life ever🔥
Most comments I have noticed are people from 20-50. Where are the old people? You are very fortunate; I did pretty well up to age 68 (now 71). I was pretty healthy except for my back issues which began in my 30's. Since then I have had 5 back surgeries, both knees replaced, a tricep repair, an ulcer, fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, esophageal reflux, carpal tunnel(now hands are numb), sleep apnea, idiopathic neuropathy, migraine headaches, allergies, degenerative disc disease, AFIB, osteoarthritis, and a rheumatoid-like arthritis (my body is rejecting the available meds). My blood work had always been good, or corrected with meds. I had a wonderful career and planned to work until age 70, then Covid came and I got the vaccinations. Within a week I was in bed and could barely move, my neurological system was reacting to the shots. I could no longer walk, developed lymphedema,had 10 falls due to reactions to medications, was hospitalized twice with cellulitis due to lymphedema, was in rehab twice, lost bladder and bowel control for a few years, During that 18-20 month period it was one battle after another. I now know I won't get better and my quality of life is dwindling. I really enjoyed my 50's through early 60's! I am currently unable to tend to my lawn & flower beds, clean my house, cooking has become difficult, I cannot eat or drink before I leave the house for PT, doctor appts, or socializing for fear of accidents. I am merely existing, and it is extremely discouraging!
Omg funny and truthful. I am 49 and things are looking different in my face. I was feeling pretty bad about myself because until this year i looked so so much younger than my age. My sweet heart died last year and the sadness has aged me and i was feeling bad. Thank you for this
Jane Caro, Thank you So Very Much for this talk...You have Inspired me to actually grab Life by the horns, and Live to the Best of my abilities from This moment on ! I'm 55 and 3 quarters, and have m.s, and have been starting to 'Wallow' but Not Any More ! This is the kick up the bum I Really Needed !
I really enjoyed this talk, Jane is very funny, and lots rang true. But she does not speak for every aging woman. She jokes about having children, but she doesn't realize how lucky she is to have been able to have them. She is married/coupled, and doesn't have to worry about her looks because she doesn't have to worry about finding a partner at her age. Being invisible is great if you aren't single and alone. I am invisible when I go shopping for electronics, when I am waiting to be seated in a restaurant (where I am given the worst table most of the time), and I am invisible to all men anywhere near my age. Aging is a very different experience when you are a single woman.
Thats so true. Good point
What a lovely presentation. I loved it
I absolutely loved this talk ❤ Thank you for reminding me to enjoy life before it's too late. Cheers 🍸
Love the honesty ! Thank you for a good laugh :-).
I love her outlook and she's so right on about everything.
Ah Jane - that was fantastic. Thanks for letting me know about it. Also, it's not too bad getting older as a man. I find myself using the word 'content' to describe my life rather than 'worried'. As a fellow 57 and a half year old, I salute you!!
Standing ovations are rare on Ted. This one's a gem and a keeper.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.. my god you have put everything in perspective. ..I resonated with everything you said...it's all so true..what an absolute joy it was to listen to you...
Thank you so much for your wonderful, uplifting talk. My brother passed away at age 52 from pancreatic cancer. He taught all of us, his family and his friends, an important lesson as he faced his illness with grace and courage: Live until the end. XXOO :)
I wish I could knock out a public talk in your strength therefore you have done a great service .Thankyou. X
Thankyou Ted for giving.
Thanks for that - you are a sweetheart!!
Excellent talk. Seize the day!
I’m 57.5. This was perfect and timely! Thank you!
2 munutes in and I love this woman.
"No one is looking at me anymore"
HURRAH! I hope that I am virtually INVISIBLE! No longer a candidate for MEASURING UP to some unreachable and ever changing standard imposed by people who might consider those things for THEMSELVES but are so entitled that it never crossed their minds that they do not measure up to the standards that they impose,
I am learning as much as I learned at any other stage of my life (and that is A LOT) and I love it.
I earned every wrinkle! They are mine and I am keeping them.
I love my life- I finally learned that it mattered and I SURVIVED IT! HAhahahahahhhaaaa!
The saddest thing for most women is that they spend their lives living someone else's life. 2 people living one life is one too many and that leaves NO ONE living your own life. EMBRACE your life before it is gone.
BRAVO! This irreverent talk is funny and right on! This lady surely "wears purple".
The most important thing I have realized is this: NO ONE GETS OUT OF LIFE ALIVE! Enjoy it!
fabulous &courageous -- love her!!!
Loving the talk... not sure if someone else has already mentioned this, but like humans, female killer whales stop giving birth by about 40, but can live into their 90s. Short finned Pilot Whales also go through menopause. So... the comment about only humans going through menopause is inaccurate. Small piece of trivia ;-)
Be nice & helpful to the elder folks cuz one day when you get there, youll be wishing for people to be nice,helpful to you .
love this!!! coincidentally, I am 57-1/2 and feeling great!!
Best talk I've heard in a long time! Thank you for this!
I need to watch this every day.
NO.
Absolutely bloody brilliant - I’m 59 and love it 😍
What an amazing message! So true Jane! So true! Well done!
The best talk on ageing I think I've seen. Thank you so much!
Thank you I am enjoying your talk and am 70--Brava!
This was amazing, thank you so much. 💖💖💖
"It wont be petty but it will be real" - Yes! Exactly!! Excellent
Thank you so much for putting aging in perspective.
I am so glad I came across this today! I really needed it.
I would say not having a period anymore is THE best thing about menopause ☺️
Sorry at age 57 and a half she is NOT past middle age! Life is divided into four seasons reflecting the actual seasons of nature. From newborn to 25 is the Spring of one's life, from 25 to 50 is the Summer of one's life, from 50 to 75 is the Fall of one's life and over 75 to 100 plus is the Winter of one's life! The middle age years though are basically from 40 to 70, one's 40s, 50s and 60s. So technically, she's middle middle age! One is as old as they feel...pushing 70 and feel young at heart like I'm still in my 30s and 40s! Age is just a number though. To life, to life, to life, l'chaim from Fiddler on the Roof.
You're sweet but... That's splitting hairs quite a bit. Our society, Western society, it's not so polite and that's what she was, in essence, flipping off. But, I agree... You're only as old as you feel and the older I get, the younger I feel in many ways; like, naivety. Which just makes me want to learn more, faster. When I look in the mirror, however, that's when I know I have more of society's narrative to destroy inside my own because I'm not feeling younger there by any stretch. 😉🌸
Where'd you get those age figures and what 'seasons' they correspond to? How can you say 75-100 is the 'winter' of one's life, when the majority of the population across the board is typically dead before 75? I don't think you can apply such specific age ranges to seasons without considering the Country we may be talking about, the person's socio-economic status, gender, etc. In South Sudan, the 'winter' of a man's life is probably what.... 50-60? In Japan, the 'winter' of a woman's life is probably what.... 80-110?
I'll never her plastic surgery because when I'm older I want to look at my face and remember my mom, that would make me so happy❤ I admire and love her a lot
I totally agree, brilliant talk!
Absolutely awesome. Loved it
I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
Just lovely......very good Tedx. Thank you!
I am 37, entering premenopause, and have been feeling quite low lately. I never realized how much we suffer, truly suffer, as we age! I thought I was ok with it...pshhh yea right. I thank you, thank you for reminding me its not all bad. I needed this more than I can say.
Right there with you - you’re not alone luv ♥️
There isnt a huge difference in aging from your 20s and 30s but once you get in your 40s, thats when aging really starts to accelerate.
@@bretts5571 I'm in my 60's and haven't noticed any speeding up of aging.
@@catherinebirch2399 It all depends on how you take care of yourself. When I was in my 20s, people used to say, you can do that now but when your in your 30s everything starts to go. I'm 38 and haven't lost any strength, speed, or any other abilities yet. Eventually time will catch-up to me, but it seems that aging is largely dependent on how well we take care of ourselves. I've found from my friends who are now in their 40s, things really "hit you" once you stop caring and let yourself go. It is not so much age as it is not caring.
@@bretts5571 I haven't found this to be true for me. It definitely isn't down to genetics in my case. I think that if you take good care of yourself you will be rewarded with slower aging.
I disagree with the loss of beauty, you ARE beautiful, as are all women, no matter what their age.
not to men though.
Philip Agtuca Not to young men. On the flip side, old women aren't attracted to young men. Sure, there are exceptions on both sides, I'm speaking in general. Old people have more life experience and I find them to be very interesting. Being young was great but I'm very comfortable being 66.
Phillip, are you going to leave your wife when she gets 50? People like you are not capable of real relationships.
Plenty of attractive women over 50 and 60. Kim Catrall , Helen Mirren, Susan Saradon. Jlo is pushing 50. So I agree beauty is not about age.
maggie wood Thank you! I love a handsome silver fox. Fortunately my husband falls into that category!!🐺
I loved the talk so very very very much! Thank you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Love this woman! xxx
brilliant, loved every moment of this
Yes indeed. Getting old is a privilege! We really do need to claim this precious phase of life. Yeah! No more worrying about a bunch of silly things and the body image face thing - so exhausting!!
Keeping it real what a change great to hear some one who is so positive
Her accent + her words = the best Ted Talk I've ever seen!!
Looooove her honesty!!!!!
Love this talk. Funny, true. Thanks!!!!!
Yes! What a woman! And Australian! Yay!
Getting older has its perks but the one thing I miss about being younger is my stability. In the past few years, I have fallen quite a few times.
Good talk! Charismatic speaker with a good mindset who will never be invisible! She'll be invited and included. Big birthday looming and I want to read books that will put me in the right frame of mine to own it. I wouldn't mind being my age if 50 year old women were better at staying in groups. They say the population is ageing but where are they all? Why is everybody 30!?
I wish there was another talk such as this one except for the aging male perspective.
I'd enjoy that, too!
Send link
Well! hmmm.....I am now 67 but when ı was 57 and a half ı didnt feel ANY aspects of aging and nor did ı look aged...but now ı am 67...ten years later and now ı FEEL old. And whilst ı concur on most of the issues raised, ı dont think Jane Caro fully understands ageing. For example, now ı can hardly walk in the mornings as ı have arthritis especially in my feet....so moving around is a struggle. Its de-energising and sometimes depressing. But at 57 , ı felt no effects at all. The business about periods and men ogling you etc ...yes its a relief but now at the age of 67 much of the time ı feel ignored or not worth being bothered with......this is not good. I sometimes have to really assert myself for my voice to be heard...much more than when ı was younger. I dont like being invisible...and why should we be invisible?....and who are we not to let our light shine as Nelson Mandela said. I do feel now that the west does not really respect aging folks or their voices especially in this media driven technological age. Did I respect and listen to my elders when ı was younger? yes ı did....but it would have been good if information was as prolific on ageing as becoming pregnant.
.ı!m sorry....!!! BUT.....ı have just read most of the captions and replies here......just how many of you have known someone have a heart attack before 50? or a stroke?.....leaving them incapacitated?.......just two of MANY things which can happen to you. lucky the older people who have commented and still feel sprightly......I dont look my age at all,despite arthritis ,and that is not down to anything ı have done...it just is...in fact I am the worlds worst at beauty regimes.....and ı smoke like a chimney . ı have known other sufferers who have never touched a cigarette too! ı know a sufferer who had arthritis at 17 also .THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GO ME AND YOU. IT JUST İS........the luck of the draw.
I agree with you. I am 61 years old, and am enjoying my life more now than ever before! Getting old is so freeing.
How can it be?
@@mitch5222 I no longer worry about what people "think" of me. I wear clothes I feel comfortable in- whether they are on trend or not. I'm not a homeowner so I don't worry about costly home repair bills. Our cars aren't new, but we own them. They get us around and our insurance bills are low. I'm 65 and retired, so there's no more work stress. My income is less now, but so are my needs. I have all the material possessions I need, so I only buy things occasionally. I have more time to walk, read, sit by the ocean, have breakfast with a friend, spend time with my husband. Every Monday my older sister and I I babysit our 2.5 year old grand nephew. Neither of us has a grandchild. We get to play and laugh with him for hours, and when he naps my sister and I enjoy our time talking.
My husband and I were both married and divorced before we met. We found each other in our late 40s, and are still deeply in love. The love and respect we have for each other frees us to be ourselves and feel secure in our relationship. Our children are adults and are making good lives for themselves, so no worries there.
I have never enjoyed and appreciated life more than I do now. My mind is at peace. My life is good. I am content. If I had to get "old" to feel this way, so be it. I will treasure every moment I have left.
I love what she says about people who feel the need to get cosmetic surgery...and about the idea of physical aging, and accepting it instead of fighting it, which is only futile. It's true that a 50 y/o who had a facelift doesn't kid anyone. They don't look younger. They just look like a 50 y/o who had a facelift.
I love this! Thank you!
Teresa Bass 👍🏻
How are you doing by the way
I agree- we have earned every bag and wrinkle! It is a privilege to past all the expectations of society, and find who really are!
Love your talk dear
Thank you.
That talk can only work on women in their 20-30s. When you actually get 40-45 or older - you don’t find your periods annoying, quite the contrary. And you are not happy about being invisible. I agree with the “better to feel good, than to look good” part though. That one is indeed a revelation you make only once you reached a certain age.
Ive found that unless I look good I dont feel good-and Im certainly not alone-every cosmetic practitioner will say that aging has made their patients depressed and that they feel so much better after surgery/treatment. Its just an undeniable reality for many people- if no one else felt this way there wouldnt be an anti aging industry-yet were constantly made to feel guilty for caring about how we look.
Really loved this hilarious lady! So true too!!
Best talk I’ve herd in a while
LOVE this!!!
I’m 62 and aging has been horrible. Extreme fatigue, loss of purpose and meaning, friends.
Everything about this is so relevant to my life😁♥️
I grew up around family much , much older than me. I’m the youngest in my family now in my late fifties. Getting older is OK up to a point, then it’s only pain and increasing limitation. Getting old is no fun. It’s how you cope that matters.
She is funny! Great talk and outlook.
Im 30 but at around 28 it truly hit me. I had been aware of my mortality my whole life and lived accordingly (auhenticity) but being old seemed so far away. 21 to 29 went by fast but no regrets.
I’m 27 now but yes I feel the same (even had a slight bit of death-anxiety) it scares me how quickly the last 7 years have shot past
I’m 57&11 months and I’m fighting it!!!!
Thanx Jane Caro
I'm from the UK & about 127 Years old give or take!,
I still have all My Hair & all My Teeth, I keep both in Very nice Cases!.
Equal opportunity aches and pains. Amen 🙏!
The talk is amazing
You’re fantastic!
This was amazing
Fantastic talk.
Ageing is all in our minds....you feel old and you ARE old, feel young and content and that's what you are.
Love you, you inspire me
Brilliant, thank you
Crying from laughing. Just great.
Brilliant! 💚
I’ve done all the stuff, the big developmental tasks of life. Education, career, travel, love, happy marriage, home, kids. I’m 51. The rest is icing on the cake as far as I’m concerned. I could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t feel “ripped off” or that it was unfair.
@@morganderrick6912 everything is wonderful. Going on my first cruise for 21st anniversary.
Lori C good to know that Tori
What are you celebrating?
21st anniversary of what
@@morganderrick6912 marriage