Dare to Question Why We Are So Afraid of Getting Older: Scilla Elworthy at TEDxMarrakesh 2012
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
- SCILLA ELWORTHY is the founder of the Oxford Research Group, a non-governmental Organisation she set up in 1982 to develop effective dialogue between nuclear weapons policy-makers worldwide and their critics. She served as its executive director from 1982 until 2003, when she left that role in order to set up Peace Direct, a charity supporting local peace builders in conflict areas. From 2005 she was adviser to Peter Gabriel, Desmond Tutu and Richard Branson in setting up The Elders. She is a member of the World Future Council and the International Task Force on Preventive Diplomacy. She has been nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Price and in 2003 she was awarded the Niwano Peace Prize for her work with the Oxford Research Group.
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In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Back in 2002, I won an award from a writing contest with just this simple quote: "I am a firm believer in life after youth"
Brilliant!
Where can we find it?
@@joannahzamora, it was called "A Brief Letter From The Heart" and was hosted by the Japanese. I don't know if it is anywhere to be found, all these years later.
Excellent!!
That is a fabulous way to put it🙌
Is not the fear of getting old per see, it is the fear of being vulnerable, poor and abused. The fear of being lonely and forgotten and a stranger to everyone. That's the real fear.
@barb lee "Mental and physical capacity" are controlled, to a large extent, by the choices we make in life decades before ... choices regarding what we eat, how much we exercise, the folks that we choose to surround ourselves with. If we make wise choices regarding these things, we build a foundation of good physical and mental health. As we age, the benefits derived from the strong foundation become more and more obvious. Good choices in these areas are parallel to "saving for retirement" (financially); keep making "regular deposits" in this account and years down the road you will be "wealthy" (physical/emotional health) beyond belief.
So very well said
I think your comment is less about fear and more about these 5 words in my head..
Are we having fun yet?
@Thomas casidy UNTRUE...
@barb lee True...
I am 61 years young - I care not what I look like, though I "look quite good" - only because I exercise daily, eat well and engage in spiritual activities (and I am an artist). If I die tomorrow, I'm good with that. In the meantime, I will continue to live a "life of service", shining my light wherever I can. I have no children and my husband just passed away - I'm on my own... and that is fine. I will continue to move forward on the path that I feel is right for me, with the knowledge that all will be well. FEAR is a plague that I do not wish to invite...
Karla Elvis I like your attitude. So sorry about your loss, but sounds like you are moving forward with your life.🙂
I so applaud this reply. Bravo!!!
You are still young and on your second journey in life. Enjoy..
Good for you, I'm 30 and only hope to have your attitude when I'm that age
@@gstylez0107 You can, but it is no accident; start now by "investing in yourself" via making good choices regarding the food you eat, the amount that you exercise, and the people that you surround yourself with.
I am 83 and never in my life did I have the courage to be my self I am so sorry about that and that is so sad.
❤️
You can start right now ✨🧚🏼♂️💫🌸 I believe in YOU!!
I am 58, but I know what you mean. Sometimes, in the middle of the night - I feel like i am suffocating. And I am already thinking that this is it for me. And it will not happen for me during this lifetime. And it's been a wasted life for sure.
TheAllie321 You can be yourself now it is again possible try and you will be so happy and in peace with yourself 👍😊 every thing can be change if you really want believe in you trust you
How was the life in ur younger times?
My issue with growing older is how people start treating you different, like you're weak or useless, unneeded. I don't look, in the mirror, the way I do in my head (like I'm still in the 20s/30s), people don't treat me the way they did when I was in my 20s/30s. It's almost like an out of body experience, my mentality doesn't match up with how I look, feel, or how I'm treated by others.
I am 77, and getting older is a blessing. Death comes at all ages, and even before birth.
Getting older chronologically is a blessing, not getting older biologically.
Exactly!! Not everyone is privileged to grow old!
You're right, people die in the middle of their youth. We have two choices, die young or get the chance to grow old.
@korpen3770 Finally someone who says it how it is.
We are afraid because we can't fit in our society with how much it loves youthful - not necessarily useful people. Because of invisibility. There would be less fear if we lived in an elder respecting society.
I see what you are saying but the way i feel when we get older we might look at all the young ones like kids. I am 32 and see all these 20 year olds and they are kids to me lol Someone in there 50s or 60 might see me as just a kid lol kinda how it is and you will fit in there will be older people too.
+Andy Holcroft right on andy I agree.
I agree Shannon
I moved to Asia last year, aged 54. I Less of this ageism...
so you are afraid because of what they patriarchy think???? Lol who cares what they think??? have some self respect
I've only just turned 24 and I'm panicking about being old. I think I need to chill a bit
I am 27 and going bald!
17 and I'm worried
Jack Budgen I’m 15 and worried
Yeah. You youngn's need to chill.
Gangi Films When I was in high school, my algebra teacher was 22 and bald. He was very smart and he was also cute and pretty popular. 😉
I’m 16 years young but I watch videos like this because I’m scared to get older but hearing all your stories makes me so happy to see that I will be happy if I stop worrying so much . this woman is so beautiful.
I'm almost 25 and trust me, you've got a lot of time. Spend it, appreciate every second. Hang on to your friendships. Best of luck.
I never put much thought into getting older or dying until my children unexpectedly tragically died... and the world kept moving forward without them in it. It's not so much the dying or being dead... it's the fear of ceasing to exist and going out of this world alone, that is my constant interruption in my mind.
💔
It's my birthday today and I'm upset about it, this talk helped me.
I didn’t think as deeply before.. but I’m 28 now and suddenly I realize that I’m about to transition to 30 which seems so old to me. I can never go back to those youthful years and the thought of it freaks me out like nothing else. Getting old is the most terrifying thing we go through as humans. What a weird life.. I hope as I get older I’ll accept it, but at the moment I’m not okay
27 and right there with ya
STILL SO YOUNG ! EVEN MM , QUITE YOUTHFUL AND VIBRANT STILL WAS ONLY 35
I'm 28 in the same situation. I feel you.
I hope I loved being old as the times goes
I’m 59, going on 60 in a couple months. 29 was my hardest birthday by far. Because it meant the last year of youth. But I’m here to tell you…..it only gets better, My Dear
@@cinditrautmann7228 you are so sweet 😊
for me, ageing is just another reminder that time has passed, we don't get a second chance, and death is coming whether you're fulfilled and ready or your'e not
this is depressing
no matter how much money you have, you'll never defy the law of nature .....aging is real and whether you like it or not you'll get old and die eventually no matter how young you're now .....life is a cycle of birth, living and death.
Death can come AT ANY age.
From all NDE worldwide now we don't die...only our bodies do! Our spirits and souls live on! And I think we do get a second chance. Life is just Life University with lots of lessons to learn and if we don't learn certain lessons,guess what? We have to come back and learn once again! Have no fear...even though I've never had a NDE, I have seen signs from the Other side...we're never alone! Peace, love and namaste~
but maybe your next life is more exciting then this one, you dont know
"When we are useful... that emptiness disappears". There is so much wisdom in this Ted talk. I'm 25 and I'm terrified of growing older. This speech gives me great hope that I can feel peace, happiness, and worth no matter what my age and appearance is. That there is so much that I'm meant for that has nothing to do with my appearance. Thank you for this- I needed it.
Enjoy being 25 and never worry about aging. None of us know if we will be here tomorrow, next week or next year. You will regret wasting your youth worrying about aging. Aging is not nice, but it is a long way away from 25. Enjoy every minute and do not waste a moment of it. Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere but gives you something to do. Dont just exist LIVE.
I remember being terrified at 25 too ... I also remember looking back at 30, 40, 50 and 60 saying to myself, "damn! I looked great!" I've finally stopped looking back and now appreciate today and look forward to tomorrow. I am active, vibrant and always learning and growing (at 63). Don't let society set your standards - create your own. Stay off social media BS (it will increase your anxiety!). Stay active and engaged and be interested in other people. Spend time in nature and laugh ... life is truly beautiful and if you feel that it will exude from you at any age : ) xxoo
Yowee, google for the u-curve of happiness and you will know that there is nothing to be afraid of, except your own fears and beliefs
yowee1234 hey are you 30 now?
yowee1234 omg are you 30? You are 30+10 = 40 omg only 10 years after that you’re unable to be active!!!!
There's no denying that youth is beauty, but there are many other things that are also beautiful that many of us don't notice as readily. Scilla's message, that there's beauty in energy, vitality, purpose, authenticity, and talent, is a breath of fresh air. She's beautiful too.
I'm 23 and I'm afraid of getting old because I won't be able to fend more myself. Right now I'm on top of the world. I don't need anyone, but one day I will be old and tired. One day I will be fragile and weak.
Thats why you appreciate it so much though, isnt it?
If people at age 20-29 are afraid of getting old it just shows how much this society puts value on youth and it's a problem. I can understand 29 though lot of younger people get so scared of turning 30.
For me aging comes with being ignored in society and it comes with health problems and it comes with feeling like you hadn’t achieved enough and never getting second chances I always had the idea that you can start over but you really can’t after a certain age .
I'm afraid of getting old because of getting fragile and dying!
Well, eat proper food and get daily exercise
just look at your parents any you ll know whats coming im most cases
Me too
I don’t know why I found this comment so funny. yeah I think the same too but like 😂😂
Everybody dies one day. Only when you embrace reality and accept it’s beyond your control, will you finally live a better life.
She hit the nail on the head with the fear of invisibility. I'm a photographer that started out as a model. I get invited to shoots still, but not as a model. I'm relegated to a position BEHIND the camera, capturing the beauty of other people instead of having a photographer capture MY attractiveness. That bothers me to no end.
It's about time the world sees more modeling agencies that focus on only the seniors.....that'd be so great!!!
But somehow you're expected to laugh it off and say that it doesnt bother you. Just because SOME people arent bothered by it, doesnt mean that everyone isnt, but somehow because a minority think ageing is wonderful, the rest of us are expected to go along with it and get judged and criticised if we dare speak up and tell the truth about how we really feel about it
Absolutely amazing speech. Since I've turned twenty i started freaking out seeing wrinkles on my young faces. I am afraid of aging. Everybody is but we don't talk about it enough, and we aren't taught how to live with it. People prefer to remove eveey sign of growing older with bigger or smaller medical surgeries. Thank you madame for this fantastic presentation. You are an inspiration❤
Society is quick to judge and dismiss people as old and 'past it' .
I turned 46 and started to feel invisible. Suddenly, people are no longer nice to me, just cold "Yes ma'm", official cold voices, treat me like "elderly" which really caught me off gard because I wasn't expecting that this soon. It's like suddenly I am no longer person that deserves kindness or attention. But that is not even the worst. Worst is health decline which is also sudden and unexpected, then final aknowledgment that I am single and alone and will probably stay that way, that my carer is where it is, and nowhere close I wanted it to be and what i worked so hard for. It's devastating.
I am turning 40 years soon and it feels weird..the effects of aging are ravaging my body too and the loneliness and invisibility doesn't make matters any easier..making things worse is the fact that friends and family members are dying right, left and center..the fact that younger guys call me an "O.G" or " uncle" just gives me the chills..aging is definitely not for sissies!!!
@@issamanganga7681 so true. But there is no real acceptable alternative so we have to adjust. I dunno this sudden transition is awful!
@@biljam972 I feel like there is no alternative because I did my apprentice at a nursing home and at a hospice and to see how the end will be, I just had to stop working there because of the emotional trauma of seeing people "passing"...the transition from middle-aged to old is really traumatizing and don't start on job searching..oh! I see on your job application that you are 40 years old oh! we will call you soon or soonish! 😂
I feel the same all I hear is yes sir. When I started hearing people simply call me by that moniker it made me feel pretty bad. It's like no one wants to be my friend and treat me like a distant uncle or something.
Yeah, this is the reality for so many and yet somehow we're told that we should think these awful changes are the best thing that ever happened to us. Theres no sympathy and no support for those who hate the ageing process-only sternly wagging fingers and harsh judgements for being so 'negative.' It's alright for the ones who are healthy, good looking and who have sailed through the menopause-what do they know about the suffering the rest of us have had to endure?
Most people who hate their birthdays hate where they are in life. I remember being so depressed at turning 30 because I was in a bad marriage and saw no way out. If you are happy in your space/life, you don't think about age that much. Having said that, I try to live with my death always before me.
I remember I was a caregiver for an 83 year old woman and she wanted to buy a jar of Olay wrinkle cream, and I just knew it wasnt going to make a lick of difference for her. It broke my heart because it made me think of my own futile efforts to hang on to my youth as well. Even 40-50+ year old women that get facelifts and Botox look nothing more than a 40-50+ year old woman with a facelift or Botox. We can NEVER erase years from our face the way we think we can. And in my experience, most people that say “Wow! You don’t look that old at all” are simply just being nice. The best way to handle growing older as a woman is to eat a healthy diet, exercise, use a good sunscreen and just accept the fact that time rolls on for EVERYONE and there’s nothing you, nor I, can do to slow it down. It’s perfectly normal to look like you are 47 if you are 47, etc. The most demoralizing thing you can do to yourself and to wreak havoc on yourself is to NOT accept your age and to try to hang on to youth that is so fleeting for everyone. Embrace the wisdom and stability you have gained over the years. Youth is a short fleeting ride for everyone!
Except the ones who have had great work done so you dont know theyve actually had anything done. Everyone thinks that theyre just 'ageing gracefully'
I'm so glad I banged the hot chick while we were young. It was awesome! Memories.
You said everything I think on this issue to a T 😊
Yet I don’t know why I’m so sad that I have to accept ageing. Perhaps it’s because I have to admit that I’m not immortal and I will have to leave my children and if I live long enough my grandchildren also. It’s a really horrible feeling . I’m
Hoping it will pass quickly like the dreaded menopause I keep being warned about .
I have a different view. I think she got to 83 cos she tried to be the best version of herself even at that age. I hope you got her the Olay.
Only two things you can be sure of in this life.
1. Some morning you will wake up and see an oldie in the mirror.
2. That day is not as far away as you think.
BTW a lovely woman and brilliant and important talk.
Thanks. Made me feel much better😕
Most uplifting, cheers! 😏
$270 Billion dollars spent on fighting nature? Amazing. The true beauty of who we are should be appreciated with our mental contributions. Share with the world your talents.
Yeah. spending money on vaccines, antibiotics were a waste of money! Glad to see you said "NO" to all medical intervention, as it is NOT NATURAL"! You are naturally supposed to die before AGE 30 of infectious disease like they did in the middle ages. BRING BACK POLIO! SO MANY CHILDREN HAVE NOT HAD A CHANCE TO GET POLIO! Follow the path NATURE set out for you! Seeing your grandchildren is overrated!
^ A bit disillusioned. But keep on writing... Someone may read it.
@@bluejackscanada dude! Wtf!
@@bluejackscanada I appreciate your observations & comments as well as those of the presenter. So wonderful that we humans can benefit from such a wealth of science and viewpoints, and then have free will to be-and evolve into-our most authentic selves! Best wishes to all!
im 15 but i have anxiety over this shit and its a HUGE influence in my life...😔
same, im 16 though
mrsmoonkiller Christodoulo in 22 and feel like this so don't feel too bad... wish I was 15 again 😞
18 here. I hate being worried about this. But maybe we can try to be healthy and less old, idk
no matter how much money you have, you'll never defy the law of nature .....aging is real and whether you like it or not you'll get old and die eventually no matter how young you're now .....life is a cycle of birth, living and death.
What word would you use to replace "shit" that would reflect on you being thoughtful and desire your comment to be read?
The fear is of getting close to end of life. Nor everyone have a chance to have full life. Things slow down and the rest of the society looks at old people as burden. I belong to a dance group with mostly retired people and they are incredibly talented and energetic. Learned so much, developed friendships and life doesn't look as scary. 🙂
We love good looking people so much
Just imagine a person's funeral. He's lying in his grave but it's just his body. He's gone forever. What's left is just his body that the world adored so much.
Damn it gives me chills
Once my actual Birthday day has gone I don't even think how old I am. I still feel and act about 25 even though I'm 68. I dress smartly and always put make up on when I go out, not for other people but to make myself feel good. I just use Nivea cream. None of these face serums or moisturisers work, it's just a big con. You cannot stop getting old and even if you have face lifts, eye lifts etc you can still tell how old you are by your hands. Grow old gracefully is the best thing. As long as I can still get out and about I'm happy. You can't stop the hands of time. It's personality that matters, nothing else. Wisdom also comes with age, if it doesn't you've lived a very sheltered life. My thought is if only we knew what we know now when we we're younger we wouldn't have made any mistakes in life haha.
very beautiful woman. .inside and outside
No she's hot af.
@@shanenelson3863 LOL!
@@shanenelson3863 no for real!
If you have peace of mind and have had a lifetime of happiness and if you have lots of great experiences then you dont fear old age. If however you feel like you are missing out on life and you havent had a life of great experiences then old age is a dreadful thought because you feel the pressure of time, you are aware that you dont have much time to turn things around and a life of regret. Agree ?
absolutely
This is so beautiful.
❤
Greetings from a buddhist woman in Germany, 51 years old.
Loved the speech.... I'm a Carer work with elderly... And I really do Care... And I really do feel Love about my clients... But normally they don't accept your efforts/ your tenderness help ...Different reasons for that happens but most of all they don't accept their selfs, their age..they are angry . they did not "prepare " themselves to get old.... if is that possible ( I don't Know)
Its all about the feeling of purpose and celebration of aliveness - life is multidimensional and you have to live with a purpose of giving yourself to life and joy of life -
this speaks to me so much. I'm gonna be 32 this year, sometimes I'm so concerned when I'm thinking about aging, the reality where you might get so weak that you become so dependable to others and vulnerable, I dunno, but thanks for the beautiful word.
At 72 I was not enlightened or uplifted by this video. However, your comment is exactly where my spirit is!
I like her hair! I'm 49 and I decided recently to stop paying a fortune on highlights and stop dyeing my hair! It blew my mind that I'd never considered that this was a possibility. When I was younger, I felt my hair color was too dull and needed more brightness and then as I got older I felt the grey hairs needed to be covered up. It feels liberating to not have to go to the hairdressers to get this done anymore and as far as I can see, I don't have that much grey hair so I'll still be able to see my natural color. The point is there's nothing wrong with showing your grey to the world. It's part of who you are and I don't understand why people don't want to see their natural color while it's still there regardless of how much grey they have. Be yourself!
You don’t need to look younger just look the best you can for you’re age.
Lovely lady! You are so right!I am working on my vanity. You are so far ahead of us!
If you fear age you really haven't came full circle in life. When you are TRULY happy, tears of joy happy the first thing that goes is age and money. I no longer think about age at all. Iris Apfel who is 97 says she does not even think about age at all! I don't fear age, the only thing I fear is not being happy.
I could care less how I look, what brings me anxiety is losing my health.
Wat is it you've always thought was
wrong and do not speak out about?...
Make yourself useful! Beautiful lady.
Wisdom & experience can't be bought.
"When we are useful... that emptiness disappears".. . beautiful!!! thank you!!!
I’m 50+, I take care of myself for myself..... I’ve never cared what others think.... I’ve never cared about being a certain image of being seen in the world. So there are a lot of confident strong women who take care of themselves for themselves not to portray a certain image in the community
Love this!
Im gonna cry right now..I am not handling it very well
53. “Getting old is all about losing all the things that you accumulated during your lifetime.” But I agree with you that old age is the time to speak out, --to our progeny specifically, and society in general.
I’m 11 and getting scared of getting older I’m crying and worrying the reason why I’m scared is because I know I won’t be able to go back and relive a moment and more
Oh wow. Don’t worry about things like that when you’re just 11! Trust me, live life normally 😂 I’m 18 and life’s great, I look back on memories like that and smile!!! Just be yourself
My sister is 9 and feels like that
Good talk. I'm 34 and going bald, it's is taking over my life worrying about it and really tiring me out. I need to accept it, but it is hard.
God bless you
I guess youve tried things like Manual?
I'm turning 25 this year and I'm starting to get scared of turning 30
My 30s were my best years.
I think getting old is a fine thing.
Ahhh. I hope to lie to my self as well, but myself does not believe me. How do you believe the lie?
bluejackscanada sad that you think it's a lie.
So many r not lucky enough to enjoy ripe age
Me too.
@@bluejackscanada When you believe it is true an actually feel it then the lie is defeated.
I'm so thankful for this speech. Today there's a lot of enfasis on being "young", fast, "updated" to the newest technologies, but few years ago I started fearing we're all loosing something precious in this big fast race. The wisdom one can aquire through their lifetime is not something you can obtain with reading a book or watching a tutorial. I'm happy someone could talk about this (in this elegant way) and share it here. I hope it will reach tons of people. Thank you :)
The media lies about everything. We all want to look good and there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good at any age. The fear in getting older is losing our looks and strength, etc. but also our parents, friends and partners. Its fear of illness and nursing homes. And these are legitimate concerns, that we must deal with and prepare for. But its also time to reflect on what we have done or accomplished and take more time to enjoy what we have passed by in our youth. Its like the rest of your life, old age, its what you make it.
Very good!! Yes, it all starts with self-love! I'm a senior citizen who lives alone with two cats after 42 years of marriage. But I love being single again and luckily have grown daughters and two granddaughters and we all try and stay as close as we can. They've flown the nest and I don't feel that lonely because I'm connected to community, write in a gratitude journal and also meditate. Being close to nature also helps and having lots of interests. I have MS but just use a cane and am a partially blind professional artist and I'm enjoying painting after retiring...keeping busy helps along with helping others if one can ...we can all donate old clothes in good condition and go through our pantries and pass on non perishable food items to others in need. I don't have the energy I used to have and was also a fitness trainer at one point, but MS is an energy depleting chronic disease which can be reversed if one lives a clean life, exercises, takes necessary vitamins and herbs and one doesn't smoke, drink too much and get lots of sleep which is really super important for all..it's very healing as well. My MS was in remission for 25 years and only got a bit worst in the last few years. I had two grandmothers and one of them lived into old age and never had any fear of growing older..one is as old as they feel like they say! KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR ALSO HELPS BIG TIME!! Thanks for sharing~
Thanks. I am so scared of getting old.
@@mitch5222 Nothing you can do about getting older but you and all of us can adjust our thinking/feeling about it! Some days I hate getting older, my mind is almost as sharp as when I was in my 20s and 30s, I still "Feel young at heart", but the bod has a bit of trouble keeping up with that! Keep a going and keep the faith! Stay as positive as you can! Negativity only brings one down! Don't want to go there! Connect with nature as it's very healing along with all the arts and our beloved furbabies, too! Keep connected with them and friends and family as well! We're all one and in this together. You're not alone in your feelings! Blessed be- peace, love and namaste~
@@brendadrew834 thanks. Honestly i dont see any point in this life. I have some health problems already. Whats the point of this life? Everyday struggling even to wake up and beeing alone for the rest of my life. I wish i have never been born.
@@mitch5222 Hey, some days I feel the same way! Again, you''re not alone in this respect! You have millions of people worldwide who feel the same way. But, these feelings of dread can come and go in waves! Think of the people suffering in Ukraine right now and all those millions of homeless refugees and little innocent children and babies. I'm sure they sometimes feel the same way. They have to all keep their spirits up! Healing music helps! That's in their souls, too! "No one gets a free ride here"! Best wishes, don't lose hope! Keep the faith, no matter what your personal religious beliefs may be!
@@brendadrew834 thanks. At least you are honest. Lots of ppl for example saying not afraid of getting old age but looking videos just like that. I just dont see myself happy in anyway. Nothing interest me. I am tired what ppl have to go through lots of problems in life. And i dont see how can i be happy when old. Isnt old age more complicated? More health problems, closer to death, etc. .. i just cant stand this life really, i tried everything to come from my depression, but i see living not enjoyable in any way possible. Everyday wake up to go to work and trying to keep busy to forget how dangerous this life is. I am just not made for this world and i know i should grow up. I just dont know. I just dont know how ppl can make it and i dont.
It's odd...we all have some trepidation about getting older, yet if a genie offered that we could go back to 1st grade and do it all over again, few of us would do it. :-)
Yeah, not like real life!
After a long season of NFL, NBA, NHL, the last things fans want to do is endure ANOTHER SEASON of football , Hockey, Basketball, after they already watched a LONG season of it!!!
This was Sarcasm if you couldn't figure that out.
@I'mRichAndSkinny Yeah, I think I would too but i'd make out I was a child prodigy or freak so that I wouldn't have to go to school!
What about the looks. I am afraid i wont find my partner atractive.
True, what a downgrade that would be. We didn't struggle through all the hard times just to do it over. I never want to take my exams over again
I'm afraid of excitement and the future of my life ending, I don't want it to end, I want to have the future always ahead of me.
I just turned 18 and im scared that growing up will make my lose all the hobbies and interests im into now
Brothers and Sisters work not too hard on our image, but instead work on a deeper understanding of our characteristics,sharpen to enlighten our moods & energy, also work on personal insecurities to let go of our past .
Wonderful! Best comment yet. Still scrolling. Yes, I feel our 'Mental' Health is most important. Growing/evolving never ends while we're still here because we've lived longer and our ideas about everything do change also. It's also a lot of work to leave our past in the past, if we feel empty inside/not really living alive~ sometimes we tend to keep reliving all the memories, especially when we no longer have as many goals towards the future. But, if we've witnessed these things happening in our life- that our thoughts do create our reality, than it's much easier to change the thinking/thoughts that are not making us feel good. It seems as we get more 'seasoned' in life (I've come to like that word better than senior or elder😊) on releasing Fear and giving ourselves as much Self-love as possible really works. It's so much easier to see others and also the world, in a much better light & spread more love~ When fear turns into love. This is a daily practice in my own life. It's not always easy to get it right, but what we 'think' about (Mostly focus on--good/positive or bad/negative) we do get more of. Our thinking will definitely affect how our outer world looks and feels to us. And if we can make a daily list of whatever is working right in our life, (simple things we get enjoyment from) 'Gratitude" can be a game changer. Let's choose to FEEL good right where we are, and whatever age we may be! Love & blessings to all ~💗🙏💞
She's right, everyone wants to be useful.
useful to whom and what?
@@lunafringe10 I think that's different for each person.
Don't freak in the future I am 60 and I take it one day at a time everything in moderation and realize everyone you see is going through something so be kind and understanding .Life is short.
i’m 13 and i’m not scared of getting old i’m scared that i’m gonna be poor and homeless and that my parents will die one day and all my family will die and i’ll be the only one left:(
honestly both for me
@@-galaxy-2750 for real but I try to move away from it and enjoy life while dying slowly but knowing I’m still young😓
@@-galaxy-2750 I’m mostly not ready for my parents to go yet
@@-galaxy-2750 lol
@@-galaxy-2750 lol
Beauty is what makes me hate aging. Looking at old photos of girls who once were so beautiful they could make your heart stop, but who lost it as they lost their youth.
At the same time, though, since our time here is counted, it makes it more precious to us. That ain't a bad thing, but it does not make up for the downsides.
Then you don’t get it yet. Nothing is lost. There is beauty in withered hands, beauty in wrinkled, care worn faces because life is so short, fragile and fraught with struggle and danger. None of us ever get enough time and the currency of youth is fleeting. But, those of us who made it into existence are the fortunate ones. Regret is useless, savor every wrinkle and gray hair!
Because the patriarchy dismisses women over the age of fertility and our culture is obsessed with youth and beauty.
+Gra Piken It's not limited to women, you know?
websurfin2010 I realise... But it's mostly directed towards women. Watch television tonight and see how many make up, skin cream and anti ageing products adverts are aimed at men. Advertising is saturated with the message that women need to keep looking young.
LOL! Every culture values fertility and youth and symmetry. It's actually more nature than society. Men are conditioned by nature to go after the young eggs. Society can try to change this, however trying to fight nature is not a battle you can win.
Why do night clubs have a "ladies night" and not a "men's night", why can girls play on boys hockey teams, but boys cannot play on girls hockey teams? Why when the ship goes down its "women and children first?" Why is almost all pornography viewed by men? Men biologically are attracted to the visual, while women tend to be attracted emotionally and to resources. Hunter gatherer societies shaped human being long before there were marketing agencies. Your attempting to fight NATURE.
bluejackscanada Those examples you cited are examples of discrimination against men and you should shout it out. We are not solely animals any more. We have human intellect too. That's why a brain surgeon can be a woman and a hairdresser be a man.
Vibrancy and energy is important.
Well, I am so inspired by this gracious lady. Her manner of communication, reassurance and pure wisdom is truly inspiring. I really do want to know you better, Scilla.
Thank you
“There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy.
Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe”
― Lao Tze in Tao te Ching
It is not bad to age...what is bad is the attitude of the younger to feel entitled to abuse the older
thanks so much for a powerful thoughtful courageous talk , we tend to fall in the pitfalls we unconsciously created
She's a wonderful speaker. You are compelled to hear her. And she's not invisible at all.
Im 25 soon to be 26 in Feb 2018, Ever since childhood i have feared getting older. When i have aged people have expected me to change myself to not like the things i do. For example I love watching cartoons and anime, I'd love to wear childish clothing and play games and play with toys like a child does. I know to others this sounds probably very strange but i feel it's who i am. Other people's opinions of what i should be at my age scares me, I get dismissed and abandoned by people because I'm too weird for them. I don't have friends and i don't think i ever have, I have my own apartment and i basically live like how very old people live, I don't exist to anyone and im afraid to die alone.
Hey I’m only 19 but I get you. I got into anime when I was 14 and since then the shoujo genre has always been one of my favorites. I love cutesy girly anime just as much as I did back then or maybe even more now. I love all genres though as long as the anime interests me. Anyways my point is, shoujo anime is more for girls who are like 8-18 years old but I don’t care. I love it and that’s all that matters. If this helps, live for yourself and yourself only, not how society expects you to live. And about fashion, sometimes I might dress my age and sometimes I might dress like I’m 13. If anyone tells I’m weird, I’ll just tell them to love themselves (no one has ever said anything to me tho). But you do you, just live your life the way you see fits best for you. Age is literally nothing but a number anyways, I wish people would wake up and realize that a number should have nothing to do with your interests or the way you should live.
SAME
It sounds like you need to re-connect with your inner child. Watch John Bradshaw's talks... he made a lot of good content talking about this of healing the inner child wound.
same
Beautiful. Thank you.
Thank you Scilla for sharing your beautiful light and wisdom with us. Your words touched a deep core in me. I've begun to start to feel the invisibility as I age more. I bought into the beauty myth at such a young age, but it's not the truth for any of us. It is our energy, our vitality, how we animate our body that matters most. It is our thoughts, words, deeds, and how we move through the world and connect with our inner wisdom and light. Yes, it is so important to be true to ourselves and to speak this truth. Many Blessings.
Thank you for your sharing.
I love this woman's talks.
Lots of people are very superficial and when you get old they call you ugly and give you the feeling you are not attractive anymore and that you have no value. They dont like to look at you because you are not pretty anymore. Pretty and attractive people have an easier life i guess. They get more attention and they get the feeling that they are more loved.
Melina Dzjj6 but even them will get old and die...
I always remember that I know so much more than they do.
ur right melina,and it's not going to get better.
It can and will get better, look up Aubrey De Grey and SENS Foundation.
Look Up Aubrey De Grey and Sens Foundation, this is the type of thing people like you need to fight for.
Great advice: meditate for peace of mind and self love, capacity to smile. "I am never lonely although I live alone" Great woman with power. Thank you!
Beautiful message. Energy never gets old.
The bottom line is, as long as you allow other people to define who you are, who you should be and how should look and act , you will never know who YOU really are.
For me getting older and retired now means being happy in being "invisible" at first sight, being free to focus on the inner self....being honest at all times and being myself, finally
Such a great talk and an even more amazing woman!
I like,her white hair
Omgoodness! Bravo
Thank you
I’m four years old and scared shitless of growing old!
"We're obsessed with SPEED...& ECONOMIC GROWTH...& YOUTH..."
Great useful speech and also beautifully delivered, I agree on every thing you said ! Thank You Scilla ✨
Thank you for the heart to heart talk.
Lovely speech. A lot of wisdom for people of all ages to consider and use if you develop the strategy to become strong and use it
Amazing talk. You are gorgeous inside and out! When my Nana was sick in the hospital she enjoyed being taken care of and waited on hand and foot in there. My parents were trying to figure out how to get her out of there & My mother said “just tell her, her roots are showing”. I am just like my Nana… Lol
Thank you
Going grey is very liberating as it knowing we have a purpose and our time here on earth 🌏 is very very short
Make it count
2 Corinthians 4:16
“ Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”
Proverbs 31:30
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
If you may, I’m not going to love myself when I have God to love, His love is Breathtaking, give yourself a chance to fall in love with Him, thank you for your lovely video.
What a wonderful talk 💛 YES! Thankyou for sharing your insights and wisdom.
The fear of Going gray and getting wrinkles is so big inside of me. Like i am terrified so much that death seems less scary than becoming old..
Brilliant, thanks
Great message , thank you
I am 74, and getting old beats death for the moment. Many who died, wished they could have lived to be old. Some are killed before birth.
acajudi100 do you mean abortion?
I just turned 60 and I totally agree! At least my mother let me live and I've had a wonderful life and my death is ever before me. It's good to be aware that your days are numbered. It helps you make the most of them. NO ONE is promised tomorrow! Have you looked at pictures of the Saints? Often they have a skull close by. Skulls aren't just for Goths or Hells Angels, they are good for everyone. Ash to Ash, dust to dust......for everyone!
.... and many who are suffering in life, wish they could be dead. Life is not necessarily better than death. Everyone has their own perspective.
Getting older is a fact of life. Everyone gets the chance to be young and those young now, if they live long enough will get old - fact. No one escapes it. So, we just have accept it graciously, take the best care of ourselves that we can and enjoy the ride while doing our best to prepare and get ready for the journey into elderlyville and once we get their keep living and enjoying life as we have it the best we can. Oh, and be thankful that we've made it thus far.
some? Millions. Liberitarians destroy life before its time
thank you for your honesty and transparency...
Wow! Such words of insight and modern day wisdom
I loved your TEDx speech,
I love the way you think and speak, and how you have put it into words.. such a beauty of a life.. Thank you ....
There is no upside to getting old other than maybe you've gained wisdom with age but who out here who is in the latter part of life who hasn't wish they had that knowledge and wisdom back when they were young? I certainly wish I did and avoided a host of mistakes and bad decisions that I can't take back now. Also I think depends on how well your life worked out affects how you feel. If your life has had a lot of hard knocks, bad decisions and lack of prosperity being cheerful as you get older becomes a lot harder.
You should look up and read into Aubrey De Grey and SENS Foundation. This is exactly what I'm fighting for right here.
That's why the love has to come from inside.
I just wish I had the internet when I was younger
It is the attitude that matters. If you think that you are old, you are old.If you think you are young, you are young. Iam 71 years old but I am very active in all respects. It is not the fear of death but fear of alienation is the concern of old people
Im worried cause i know some of our loved ones, friends etc., will be gone. It hunts me every goddamn day. Im making a lot of memories rn so i have a lot to remonisce when i sit in that rocking chair.
I’m 24 and freaking out already.😂 This woman has soothed me though, beautiful words!❤️
I am just 20. And I am already freaking out. :)
Im scared since i was 16 lmao, now i just try to accept the reality. And there is also so much to learn when you getting old. I think its not thats bad
I'm 13 and freaking out
I totally know how you feel. I’m 10 years old and freaking out about how old I’m getting.
@@zz7007 Really your 10 your good
I fear my husband not wanting me anymore. Beauty is awesome but youth always wins when it comes to attractiveness. And maybe it’s also pstd from my husband also having inappropriate relationships with younger women at work.
She is great.