This is so true. Thank you all for the video. My daughter has been on Methadone for 15 years, and I believe she is taking street drugs now too. She lives in her car and sometimes gets a cockroach room. She has a home to come to, but she chooses drugs instead. She gave up her 2 children for adoption a while back. I was not able to take care of them because I was an 18-wheeler OTR truck driver. I had her go through a church program which only lasted 3 months and she took off running, got back on Methadone after being clean through cold detox. The Methadone clinic got her back on the same amount she was on before she detoxed (80 mg). I do not understand the Methadone clinics, they are supposed to get you off the Methadone slowly, but this clinic is pushing her to go higher and higher. Can't someone do something about that legally? Anyways, today I texted her to not call me anymore because it hurts me too much to talk to her and knowing she is dying. She texted back "Goodbye and my first name", not mama, like she usually calls me. I paid so much for her in her life, gave her furniture, cars, everything a mother does. She looks like a rat in her face. Her eyes are pulled into her head, her bones are sticking out of her face and body. It just hurts so very much to see your baby die. I will have to let her go now.
My son went into treatment after an invention with Family First. He went because of the treat to call DCFS if he did not. He texted us when he was on his way and said, “This is a hostage exchange. You lost a son tonight.” He stayed thirty days and left with a medical and clinical discharge. We were assured by our counselor they would want him to stay longer. I think they released him because his wife let their insurance lapse. We can only guess because he will not speak to us. He was always telling us how wonderful we were before. Now we are the enemy. I hope he is doing well but I have no way of knowing. Our counselor just keep saying, “He is grown ass man.” This is Hell.
This video is my life. My mother and brother are in a co-dependent relationship and nothing I say, or do, can break their toxic bond. The more I call out their behaviour the more I am blamed and seen to be a trouble maker. At what point do you walk away, she is turning 80 years old soon and has given away half of her inheritance (from my nanna who oassed away three years ago) to my brother. My brother, 46 years old, recently had his house repossessed by the bank, remains unemployed, is currently homeless and is facing charges for stealing by the police. When do you say enough is enough and just walk away?
Yes, I totally understand where you're coming from. It's actually pretty common. To have family members or friends or couples that are codependent with each other, even brothers and sisters, cousins, they have a toxic codependent Bond and they're usually addicted to drugs too. They suffer from their own mental health issues and traumas. Everyone has them. But we feel guilty and bad if we don't help our family members. Cuz we were taught that families everything. Cuz sometimes if people don't help their family members they become homeless on the street or they die or something. But that's another mental health issue called martyr complex. It's a disorder of fear of losing a family member to the drug or something. Because the attic shames us or worst we even see or hear. Or they even tell us that if you don't help them or give them the money that they're going to die or they'll do something stupid. Worst case scenario is that if you don't help them, they'll end up in jail or die or just find another way to get it. Most likely they'll just find another way to get it, but without your help. You have to learn not to feel guilty. When we don't support our codependent family members who have addictions. You have to realize that people make their own choices. We can't control people. And try to think of the positive. Never the negative. Most of the time if you don't help them, they'll just find another way to get it. If they're on that path of going down to jail or dead, it's not our fault s even though the codependent family member who is an addict. Makes us feel like it's our fault. They place shame and guilt and blame on us. They're adults and responsible for their own lives. If your mom's 80 years old. And your brothers doesn't want to change. Is he in his mid-40s or something or early '50s. I doubt that they're going to change. Just let them go. Love them from a distance. Try to be there for them but you cannot support them financially because they'll drain you mentally, emotionally and physically. You have to have boundaries somewhere. I have the same problem. Because my mom and dad are drug addicts. But I realized that I can't help them. They're responsible for their own lives. I had to make boundaries. They are homeless but they're found other means of getting by. Without me I'm still in touch with them but I don't let them use me or I don't enable their bad habits anymore. I always spelled that because my parents took care of me that I should take care of them. But you can only do so much as a human. You have to put yourself first. Before you help anyone else.
Your mother thinks that it is loving your brother, while it is only hurting him more. I went through the same situation with my daughter. I am not giving her anything anymore, only a home to detox if she wants.
"Nobody stops drugs or alcohol when things are going well." That was an incredibly powerful moment of clarity for me. I always felt like I was trying to give my partner a better life, make him more comfortable, help him not worry about money, etc. And it really seemed like I succeeded in many many ways. Yet he kept drinking. He drank even more!
Yes this is correct in pointing to addicts as being , very often , the unconsciously designated 'sick one' in a family system who helps all the others to feel that they are OK . The psychological pressure which this can heap on that individual is immense, but as you say there is also a comfort for the addict in staying where they are and having others worrying about them , talking about them, and giving lots of attention. The fact that this attention is often highly critical makes no difference, just as naughty children can be addicted to the attention they get by being 'bad.'
👏👏You pointed a very crucial fact: "Families are far sicker than the addict". Co-dependency and addiction problems exist especially in narsissictic families. Narsisistic parents never want their children to be independent and strong. They see their childrens as existions and life time servants.Thank you very much, it's an extremely informative video🙏🏻 💐
My brother finally said yes, after six years of trying to get him to accept help. He's on his second day of treatment and I'm learning as much as I can to support him because our family has enabled him and uncle has been my brothers drinking buddy for many years. A hot wire in the family which I touched four years ago, and received the 'how dare you accuse uncle of being an alcoholic, at least brother visits family, etc'. I drove my brother to detox, I signed on the dotted line for rehab, I packed his bag, I took care of his bills, and when I told aunt and uncle that brother willingly went to rehab - my otherwise motormouth uncle left the room, cat had his tongue. Truth is that uncle has hidden his alcoholism behind my brother as attention has been on my brother as the one with the problems, he's the broken one - just don't look under the hood at uncle. That's codependency.
![ได้เวลา! พาน้องแฝดฉีดวัคซีนครบ 1 เดือน🫣 [cc] แดนแพทตี้ SS2 | EP.52 |](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IzeLtaXBLNE/mqdefault.jpg)
This is so true. Thank you all for the video. My daughter has been on Methadone for 15 years, and I believe she is taking street drugs now too. She lives in her car and sometimes gets a cockroach room. She has a home to come to, but she chooses drugs instead. She gave up her 2 children for adoption a while back. I was not able to take care of them because I was an 18-wheeler OTR truck driver. I had her go through a church program which only lasted 3 months and she took off running, got back on Methadone after being clean through cold detox. The Methadone clinic got her back on the same amount she was on before she detoxed (80 mg). I do not understand the Methadone clinics, they are supposed to get you off the Methadone slowly, but this clinic is pushing her to go higher and higher. Can't someone do something about that legally? Anyways, today I texted her to not call me anymore because it hurts me too much to talk to her and knowing she is dying. She texted back "Goodbye and my first name", not mama, like she usually calls me. I paid so much for her in her life, gave her furniture, cars, everything a mother does. She looks like a rat in her face. Her eyes are pulled into her head, her bones are sticking out of her face and body. It just hurts so very much to see your baby die. I will have to let her go now.
This video is amazing. This guy needs to be famous. I swear he is speaking the truth!!
My son went into treatment after an invention with Family First. He went because of the treat to call DCFS if he did not. He texted us when he was on his way and said, “This is a hostage exchange. You lost a son tonight.” He stayed thirty days and left with a medical and clinical discharge. We were assured by our counselor they would want him to stay longer. I think they released him because his wife let their insurance lapse. We can only guess because he will not speak to us. He was always telling us how wonderful we were before. Now we are the enemy. I hope he is doing well but I have no way of knowing. Our counselor just keep saying, “He is grown ass man.” This is Hell.
@@rltreasure yes. If only we had known before.
This video is my life. My mother and brother are in a co-dependent relationship and nothing I say, or do, can break their toxic bond. The more I call out their behaviour the more I am blamed and seen to be a trouble maker. At what point do you walk away, she is turning 80 years old soon and has given away half of her inheritance (from my nanna who oassed away three years ago) to my brother. My brother, 46 years old, recently had his house repossessed by the bank, remains unemployed, is currently homeless and is facing charges for stealing by the police. When do you say enough is enough and just walk away?
Yes, I totally understand where you're coming from. It's actually pretty common. To have family members or friends or couples that are codependent with each other, even brothers and sisters, cousins, they have a toxic codependent Bond and they're usually addicted to drugs too. They suffer from their own mental health issues and traumas. Everyone has them. But we feel guilty and bad if we don't help our family members. Cuz we were taught that families everything. Cuz sometimes if people don't help their family members they become homeless on the street or they die or something. But that's another mental health issue called martyr complex. It's a disorder of fear of losing a family member to the drug or something. Because the attic shames us or worst we even see or hear. Or they even tell us that if you don't help them or give them the money that they're going to die or they'll do something stupid. Worst case scenario is that if you don't help them, they'll end up in jail or die or just find another way to get it. Most likely they'll just find another way to get it, but without your help. You have to learn not to feel guilty. When we don't support our codependent family members who have addictions. You have to realize that people make their own choices. We can't control people. And try to think of the positive. Never the negative. Most of the time if you don't help them, they'll just find another way to get it. If they're on that path of going down to jail or dead, it's not our fault s even though the codependent family member who is an addict. Makes us feel like it's our fault. They place shame and guilt and blame on us. They're adults and responsible for their own lives. If your mom's 80 years old. And your brothers doesn't want to change. Is he in his mid-40s or something or early '50s. I doubt that they're going to change. Just let them go. Love them from a distance. Try to be there for them but you cannot support them financially because they'll drain you mentally, emotionally and physically. You have to have boundaries somewhere. I have the same problem. Because my mom and dad are drug addicts. But I realized that I can't help them. They're responsible for their own lives. I had to make boundaries. They are homeless but they're found other means of getting by. Without me I'm still in touch with them but I don't let them use me or I don't enable their bad habits anymore. I always spelled that because my parents took care of me that I should take care of them. But you can only do so much as a human. You have to put yourself first. Before you help anyone else.
My mom and brother. She’s always saying “This is the last time I’m gonna give him money”, but it’s been over 10 years and she hasn’t stopped.
Your mother thinks that it is loving your brother, while it is only hurting him more. I went through the same situation with my daughter. I am not giving her anything anymore, only a home to detox if she wants.
"Nobody stops drugs or alcohol when things are going well." That was an incredibly powerful moment of clarity for me. I always felt like I was trying to give my partner a better life, make him more comfortable, help him not worry about money, etc. And it really seemed like I succeeded in many many ways. Yet he kept drinking. He drank even more!
Yes this is correct in pointing to addicts as being , very often , the unconsciously designated 'sick one' in a family system who helps all the others to feel that they are OK . The psychological pressure which this can heap on that individual is immense, but as you say there is also a comfort for the addict in staying where they are and having others worrying about them , talking about them, and giving lots of attention. The fact that this attention is often highly critical makes no difference, just as naughty children can be addicted to the attention they get by being 'bad.'
👏👏You pointed a very crucial fact: "Families are far sicker than the addict". Co-dependency and addiction problems exist especially in narsissictic families. Narsisistic parents never want their children to be independent and strong. They see their childrens as existions and life time servants.Thank you very much, it's an extremely informative video🙏🏻 💐
My brother finally said yes, after six years of trying to get him to accept help. He's on his second day of treatment and I'm learning as much as I can to support him because our family has enabled him and uncle has been my brothers drinking buddy for many years. A hot wire in the family which I touched four years ago, and received the 'how dare you accuse uncle of being an alcoholic, at least brother visits family, etc'. I drove my brother to detox, I signed on the dotted line for rehab, I packed his bag, I took care of his bills, and when I told aunt and uncle that brother willingly went to rehab - my otherwise motormouth uncle left the room, cat had his tongue.
Truth is that uncle has hidden his alcoholism behind my brother as attention has been on my brother as the one with the problems, he's the broken one - just don't look under the hood at uncle. That's codependency.
Good, so do co-addiction and co-dependency mean the same thing?
Very well explained 👍🏽
My wife family will not let her get better. Then thinking after 30 years of addiction.
No more eggs.
Enabling and codependency are simular?
Very interesting