4 UPDATES: Adoptive Daughter Runs Away From Home To Stay With Her Bio Parents And Leaves Us A....
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 4 UPDATES: Adoptive Daughter Runs Away From Home To Stay With Her Bio Parents And Leaves Us A Letter… Five Months Later, She Comes Back Pregnant And Begs Us To Let Her Live With Us Again Because Her Bio Parents Said THIS When She Got Pregnant And Kicked Her Out… But I Just Hand Her The Letter She Had Left For Us And Slam The Door Shut!
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Hello, Reddit. This situation that I’m in right now involves my 20-year-old adoptive daughter, let’s call her Jackie. My wife (44f) and I (45m) adopted Jackie at birth after struggling with fertility issues for almost a year and a half. It was a closed adoption, which meant that we did not have any contact with her biological parents after her birth, and we had no idea where they were or what they had been up to for the past several years.
Biological parents have guts saying she needs to get married before getting pregnant
that is the point. very few of them actually think. and people value what they work for. all males have to do to 'get some' is show up
My thoughts exactly or, at least, what was the reason for giving up their child? Obviously, mistakes happen and it's about finding the best way forward. But the bio parents sound very hypercritical..'pot calling the kettle black' I think.
I don’t think you actually understand what a hypocrite is. A hypocrite is someone who preaches one thing and ACTIVELY does the opposite. Based on your definition/“logic,” anyone who made a big mistake is a hypocrite if they ever tell someone they shouldn’t do that thing. No recovering alcoholic can ever talk about the dangers of alcohol. No person raised in a r*cist environment can ever talk about how prejudice is bad.
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This is a serious problem with everything being so public. People are never able to move passed past mistakes. “YOU DID A BAD/ILL-ADVISED THING 36 YEARS AGO! DAMN YOU TO HELL!” But the same people who hold everyone to this standard say, “People learn and grow,” BUT if I hear about a stranger did that thing back when they were 15, “F*** THEM!”
She needs to tell you all everything. Who her parents are, who the dad is. He needs to pay child support.
She clearly only changed her mind because she had no choice. Not because it was the right thing.
My friend has been through a lot. Being adopted. His adoptive parents have a biological daughter but couldn’t get pregnant again so they decided on adopting.
Well his “ sister “ decided to just be a complete jerk. Her friends joined in. Bullying him at home, school, anywhere he went.
She’d cause trouble and blame him.
The parents were put in a bad situation by her. Who to believe. Him or her. She wanted him gone from her life as a birthday gift for a birthday. She got it. He ended up going to an uncle. His adoptive dad has a brother. That uncle gave it to his brother and then his wife. The parents worked different shifts so he went off on the separately.
This was early 2000s
Jerk of a sister regrets everything but there’s no going back. She made it clear she never wanted to see him again and never wanted to be in his life. No matter what. She got her wish. She has even begged me for help. I remind her about her letter. All she does is cry.
My friend is married and has 1 daughter with his wife. She’s amazing. My friend is happy. He knows his sister is trying to get in contact but he has remained silent. Her letter for what she wanted from that birthday is a reminder to him of how she was. He got therapy when he was younger and when he found out she wanted to have some sort of contact with him.
As of now , he hasn’t reached out. She has been trying since Covid began.
If I were him, remembering the birthday letter, I would wonder what she wanted.
Because of what I knew her to be capable of, I would not give her access to anyone I loved, especially my wife and child(ren).
She not only abused and lied about him, she git others to fo the same and lost him his second set of parents. Who should have sorted that ish out. Glad gir the uncle.
Question is why would the parents even agree to such a wish???
@@becks1261 yes.
@@becks1261this part. When you adopt a child in my eyes that’s just a good as birthing them yourself. You don’t just give your child up especially as a birthday gift to the other child. What kind of nonsense. I would stay No contact with all of them.
@@chinaking918 he has remained no contact with them. Especially his sister. I know sometimes he does wonder why she never gave him a chance. But I know he will not message her to find out why. He will continue to give her what she wanted. It’s been 2 decades. Maybe she realized she was a ignorant jerk? But now it’s too late
You did the right thing, she found out what it means to have loving parents. As a parent you have to get out of their way to fail or succeed. I am glad things worked out for you all!
if bio parents are so uptight about jackie getting pregnant out of wedlock, it makes me wonder why they put her up for adoption in the first place
ARE PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS, MATURE, AND/OR GROW? You are holding people in their teens and early 20’s to the same standard as those who are their late 30’s and in their 40’s.
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Lemme guess, you also say that people should take accountability for their actions and work to earn forgiveness. You do realize how these ideas contradict each other, right?
@@crawdaddy2004 people are always allowed to change their minds. However I said nothing about holding anyone to any standard. All I said was I wondered why Jackie was given up. Please don’t assume I’m doing or saying something you obviously didn’t understand. Maybe try not being so judgmental especially when you’re so clearly wrong
@@darlenecorcoran2892 I’m sorry I read more into what you said. Many people who do comment on Reddit and TH-cam are extremely self-righteous and do this. As you said, you only asked about the biological parents’ motivations.
@@crawdaddy2004 thank you
Jackie is a real user u owe her nothing
The biological parents sound like hypocrites. If Jackie had been put up for adoption from birth, it is very likely because her parents were not married at the time she was born! They have no right now to turn around and throw her out because she is an unmarried mother.
adopting out a kid is fraught with peril now. too much chance of the clueless creatures will show up when they are least wanted
I don’t think you actually understand what a hypocrite is. A hypocrite is someone who preaches one thing and ACTIVELY does the opposite. Based on your definition/“logic,” anyone who made a big mistake is a hypocrite if they ever tell someone they shouldn’t do that thing. No recovering alcoholic can ever talk about the dangers of alcohol. No person raised in a r*cist environment can ever talk about how prejudice is bad.
*
This is a serious problem with everything being so public. People are never able to move passed past mistakes. “YOU DID A BAD/ILL-ADVISED THING 36 YEARS AGO! DAMN YOU TO HELL!” But the same people who hold everyone to this standard say, “People learn and grow,” BUT if I hear about a stranger did that thing back when they were 15, “F*** THEM!”
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All that said, some people become WORSE. I think it’s appalling to throw out your child for being pregnant but unmarried. But this isn’t “hypocrisy.”
Oh no, she didn't like how her parents were pushing her to adult. What bad parents they are. I'm so tired of entitled kids. Really, 5 months has put her in a different mind space? Yeah, because her bio parents didn't turn out to be what she thought they would be.
I know, right?? They were such horrible parents trying to give her life skills!! 😅🙄
Don't trust her
Wow a 20 year old thought they knew best and made a rash decision, who would of thunk. To everyone in the comments crucifying their kid in the comments for making one mistake. When you make mistakes, and you have and will, i hope you are treated better by the people you hurt then how you treat this young adult. No one here was truly hurt so dont try to equate if to anything like that either.
It’s not one mistake. It’s a decision that will last for 18 years.
The smallest deed is greater than the best intention. Congratulations on the grandbaby. It is good that your daughter did listen to her bio parents and get married because she was pregnant. A forced marriage without solidified love, trust, respect, and communication, but simply due to pregnancy is never the right thing to do. Statistics suggest that marriages resulting from unplanned pregnancy have a 90% higher chance of divorce within six years of getting married.
Hahahahaha they'll all be miserable letting her back in.
The mistake they made was allowing the bullying. That is not a decision a 14 year gets to make. That’s in the office talking to the principal about why they don’t want the local news media doing a report on bullying adopted kids
Can't wait until we get to the part when her adoptive parents pay for the wedding then Jackie insists that her bio dad walks her down the aisle.
Thats how most of thses tales have gone lately.
Get out of my head! 😂😂😂
So they need to sign papers saying that he agreed to be a part of this baby's life. So he can't just leave her in the lurch to take care of the baby.
All I hear is doormats.
From the title, I thought she told them she wished them ill or dead and they slammed the door in her face when she came back. She didn’t and they didn’t \. They set reasonable boundaries and she lived up to her potential.
I wish you all the best, even if we never meet. May your life be full with happiness, good fortune, and many blessings.
impressive I’m amazed at how things turned around for your family congratulations on becoming grandparents this is such a heartwarming update.
As much as I like the idea of adoption it's not looking good.
You aren’t wrong. All too often they go running back to bio family trash. Thankfully we were denied as too old (33/35) and went to the dr for IVF instead. I have one friend who did a foster adopt. The girl was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and taken at birth. Mom was an addict and didn’t care enough to stay sober while pregnant. They got her through HS (took until age 20 thanks to the FAS damage) and through a cosmetology license. She got a job and decided to look for bio mom. Next thing they know she announces she moving in with bio family. She abandoned her adoptive parents completely and went to the AH mom who caused her to be born with a disability instead. It was awful for them. The adoptive mom spent so many hours teaching and working with her (she is a special ed teacher) to get her through HS and tech school. And she spit her face at age 22. After a few years she realized what a horrible family her bio one was and came back. They were cordial but the relationship will never be the same.
Only if she gets a job. Full time. No going out. She needs to save if she's going to have a baby. She needs to start paying rent. She doesn't realize what she's taking on. Or maybe she needs to talk to a counselor about putting it up for adoption. But she needs to be responsible.
Is this a re-upload? I don’t really listen to other Reddit channels but I know I’ve heard this before
--- Gee whiz, we don't want to get married until we get to know each other better. Why in the world didn't the two of them get to know each better before they had unprotected sex, which lead to a (BIG SHOCK) baby. Glad that everything worked out and the daughter reconnected with her parents. Biological parents aren't sometimes the real parents.
Why have a baby with someone you barely know?
You do know what hormones do, right?
@@crawdaddy2004 makes you wonna have sex, doesn't necessarily make you want to suddenly give birth to and raise a child for the next 18 with some guy you hardly know.
Not yaw grandkid..
Not the AH
Look at how much money you will be saving!!!
Walker Donald Lopez Brenda Thomas Shirley
This story pisses me off. The ONLY thing Jackie has learned from both her parents and bio-units is their love is conditional. Kids do stupid, rash, sometimes thoughtless things, and parents need to understand that. Every step of the way, parents ignored her feelings. She couldn't have been too irresponsible with money as she had savings. Should she have pitched in with some of the household ills, of course. But not paying rent. All adoptive kids have some level of abandonment issues, and their initial rejection I guarantee cut deep. The thought of rejecting my pregnant daughter is horrific to me. I'm glad things worked out in the end, but I guarantee there are scars under the smiles.
I will disagree with you. They raised a lazy spoiled brat. She had no life plan. We have three 19, 19 and 21 and they know we love them but we also expect them to work hard and have a plan. We both work hard and saved 60k each for college. I would not have allowed the bullying situation. The right ti nit be interfered with is an adult right not a 14 year olds right. That crap would have stopped. However she allowed the bullying by being afraid to say she was adopted. The first time someone says something you yell back, you dipshit, of course I look different I’m adopted. How stupid are you. That’s the end. She was embarrassed that she was adopted. That means she never loved or truly bonded with her adoptive parents. That’s on her. That kind of teenage BS drama - I’ve seen it before. There are two types of adopted kids. The ones who realize that they are loved and part of a family and embrace that and those who use it to feed drama and fantasies.
I am not on OP's side on this one.
She's not your daughter. Your All the bad guy of the story. You can not punch some one like that. That's why she wanted to run away. But she went NC With you. She Never loved you.
They accepted her back even after she abandoned them. That was her choice as an adult to cut them off. She didn’t love them but they did accept her and a relationship with her. Some kids create a fantasy family in their head when they get adopted. We have friends who did foster adopt. Their daughter is fully part of their family but their son continues to long for this fantasy family he should belong to. Forget the abuse, broken bones, no food and no care. It’s perfect in his fantasy. He blames his adoptive parents for keeping him from his bio family. The state terminated parental rights for good cause. If anything they gave the bio mom too many chances. They gave her four years to earn him back and he was taken at birth. His sister is the one (and other siblings ) who were beaten and abused. They went back for one month when he was two and they were taken back after being found starving and in fifth. His parents have to pay out of pocket for very expensive therapy for him. I told her it won’t work as long as he refuses to let go of the fantasy of his perfect family. His adoptive parents even took both kids so they would have a sibling (half though because who knows who dad is ).
Is this a re-upload? I don’t really listen to other Reddit channels but I know I’ve heard this before