Listened to this one 3 times a day, at the beginning of my healing journey, for a year and i am back here to say it saved my life. It changed me and changed the trajectory of my life.
Found this book last weekend, I knew RIGHT away it was going to change my trajectory path too. I have tears around how much I've learned reading half of this book. The book gives GREAT detail and steps to take. Every bookshelf and library needs to offer this book it's absolutely life regenerative. SHARE the healing what a blessing.
He was such ahead of the times … even today , professionals in the field do not stress the important subject of "toxic shame" as an underlying issue to so many other symptoms.
See Brene Brown!!! Her research, Ted talks, and books definitely picked up where John Bradshaw left off. She also has a similar sense of humor which make me think of him when I listen to her.
I agree. People in the field continue to stay on the surface. I liked what he said that working on the guilt does the therapy will last for years. That’s why shame needs to be addressed to heal those emotions.
@@tbbart6463 I haven't read any of Brene Brown's books (I did listen to the audio version of a very short one), but I've seen some of her talks on YT. I don't see her addressing shame that originates in childhood. She seems to think people's problems begin in adulthood, like most Americans seem to. What am I missing?
I'm planning on re-recording some of John Bradshaw's lectures to move his messages onto modern audio and video equipment, since they're so much better today than they were when this was recorded in the 1980's. Personally, I think everyone in America would love to hear his powerful teachings that touch our wounded inner child. Like this comment to let me know if that's something that interests you! His work, along with Joseph Campbell's, has really helped me to become a whole person, and I just have to carry it on into the future!!
I herd this 30 years ago, And this lecture changed my life and bought so much healing. Today I hold the hot potato and it burns, but I won’t pass on that hot potato.
I am currently reading his book "Home coming", and I've got to say that this guy clearly his stuff. The depth of his experience and detailed wisdom is, at times, breath taking. Gos bless him.
@@0ijm3409fiwrekjconnecting with and healing your inner child at different stages of development. Highly recommend! You can find an audiobook version here on youtube just search ‘jon bradshaw homecoming’.
He wrote the book that helped the most in my journey to stop using alcohol and drugs and to began to be an adult. I have so much gratitude. Thank you my brother. I love you.😅
this man truely deserves a standing ovation. every sentence he says is full of meaning, such an intense and deeply truthful talk. which is still so needed, so needed to hear for most of humanity. thx for sharing.
It's time people stop saying, they were doing their best. Being physically attacked by a parent at age 3, being used as their personal punching bag, because they are under stress and you happen to be in their presence......is not their best. I can accept that they were doing the only thing they knew to do. Physical violence is never anyone's "best".
I completely understand your point here. My "mother" instilled existential guilt in me from very young, she complained many times about how I had interrupted her promising sports career, she would say it in a tone of poor me, why did I have to get stuck with you, you ruined my life by being born, like she was hard done by and regretted my existence. Is this an example of a parent "doing their best"? She was affectionless and mean-spirited. Giving birth doesnt make one a mother, being a mother does. Only a mother in title, never in deed. Victims of familial abuse are retraumatized by well-meaning therapists who under-estimate the abuse, because it is not in their realm of experience. With particular regards to familial narcissistic scapegoating abuse, this is far more complex than mere physical abuse, not to down-play the impact of physical abuse of course. I would suggest that only a person who has experienced being the family scapegoat and has healed enough to help others is qualified to be a therapist in this field. The odds of being retraumatized in therapy by someone who simply doesnt understand the sinister and complex nature of this kind of abuse is very high. Covert narcissism / malignant narcissism is the kind where the domineering parent chooses a partner that will be their enabler (usually a scapegoat from their own family of origin, when selecting a partner, the narcissist can detect their vulnerability and propensity to be dominated). Covert narcissism is where the abuser has two distinct faces or behavioral modes, one for in public and one for behind closed doors. This kind of narcissist also only has children in order to create living dolls that they can dominate and abuse, who are not afforded their own sovereign rights to their individuality and are only viewed as extensions of the narcissist who has a sense of entitlement to do whatever they like with their children, who "owe them their lives", "if it wasnt for me, you wouldnt even exist". This is a small example of a parent who definitely DID NOT DO THEIR BEST. They were maliciously abusive, knowingly abusive, calculatedly abusive, indulged themselves in the power it afforded them at the very high expense of their childs happiness, sense of self, and life development. Can you imagine the fury one would feel at a clueless therapist trying to find ways to make excuses for the parents behavior, "its not easy being a parent", they most likely were doing their best with what they had or understood at the time" No, not at all, that is completely incorrect and only serves to retraumatize and make one feel more alone and misunderstood.
@@HeartFeltGestureThank you for the courage it took to write this. You're right, she was no mother, just a bitter egg donor. She should have kept her pants zipped up to protect her "sports career." Sorry, but I'm just really mad for the hideous things you had to hear as an innocent little child. Mad and sad. The excuses ignorant inexperienced people make for damaging individuals does indeed retraumatize all over again. Just know that you are special and precious in God's eyes. What He thinks of you is all that matters. Don't forget this!
@@deborahcarder4270 Thank you for your kind understanding words. I know the Divine Spirit knows my pain, He has visited me several times, with His undeniable tangible Presence and and Loving Instruction. He visited me when I was 24, and before I had even realized how bad my childhood had been, He said he Blessed me for my loveless childhood and let me know that He had always been with me. This Graceful acknowledgement planted the seed that I had indeed had a loveless childhood, and instigated my research into familial narcissism to be able to make sense of what I had endured. You are right to say my "mother" should have kept her legs together to protect her sports career. I have cut her out of my life, she is dead to me, I wont be attending her funeral. She will never change or stop her behavior and has no remorse or empathy for what she did. The abuse has stretched far into adulthood with infantilization tactics. My two sisters understand why I have cut her out, and have thanked me for helping them make sense of what they also endured, albeit to a lesser extent.
@@HeartFeltGesture do you think narcissists are 'knowingly abusive'. My Dad has NPD and seemingly is oblivious to the abuse he inflicted on me as a child. He seems to really believe he was a good parent
@@aor3220hey my mother seemed like having dementia all her life, because she never remembered doing anything harmful. Later on, not remembering went into denial. Just know, you’re not alone, your feeling are valid and we don’t imagine facts.
Life-changing video. If you are here, it means you have entered a new chapter of your life. It’s a chapter of renewal and healing ❤️🩹. Take time with yourself to finally heal. You deserve it. You deserve peace. My message is to you just as much it is to myself. Be well!
I've been learning all this information from John Bradshaw, Gabor Mate, etc etc on trauma, complex-PTSD, shame - it's been a few years now but nothing is making a difference to how I feel. I know a lot more but still feel exactly as broken, lost and defective as I always have.
Couldn’t live this life without men like this. I’ve taken all my most critical values and information from these very rigorously virtuous men. I’ll be forever paying that forward.
Dear Reena, Your success with helping your son to grow out of the shame that seems to have bogged him down (much like chaining him down and preventing him to move, let alone flying) "critically" depends on identifying the root causes of that very feeling of shame. The mechanisms with which shame poisons our psyche, vary greatly based on their relative root cause. For example, a feeling of shame stemming from the residual guilt of some action is fundamentally different from the shame one might feel because of the degree of their perceived attractiveness, and so on. @@reenasingh-id9zh
Hi, I just copied the answer that I just wrote to Reena, which I think generally applies to your question as well: Your success with helping your son to grow out of the shame that seems to have bogged him down (much like chaining him down and preventing him to move, let alone flying) "critically" depends on identifying the root causes of that very feeling of shame. The mechanisms with which shame poisons our psyche, vary greatly based on their relative root cause. For example, a feeling of shame stemming from the residual guilt of some action is fundamentally different from the shame one might feel because of the degree of their perceived attractiveness, and so on. @@inatorquoisemood93
Have listened to this so many times, love it, originally watched the episode he came on with Oprah, here on TH-cam, after watching it I felt healed, I brought the little girl home with me, and the shame disappeared. Thank you John, still helping us after death, you left your mark.
As a recovering alcoholic I knew I felt shame for things I did under the influence but it was John who helped me realize that shame leads to self hate and addiction. I knew I had to identify when my shame first started and heal from that impact. Thank God literally for John.
I discovered this guy when he was doing a Sunday program on PBS in the mid 80’s. I’ve read his first 2 books and went to a presentation he did at the Brown Hotel in Denver with about 1000 others for $100 each. 25 years ago he came back to Denver to a Lakewood church and spoke to about 60 people for a $25 each. He was still as powerful as ever. I always thought it was amazing that Carol Burnett did the forward to his first book
I was watching and listening to John Bradshaw before Brene Brown reintroduced us to the power of vulnerability and how to be shame resilient. Thanks for this. When Bradshaw speaks people heal.
John, literally, saved my life. I saw him in denver, on KPFT, and was instantly drawn to him. During the first seminar, I made a remark that changed his seminar. And the second time he was in denver, I made a remark to change life, just as he had change to mine..
Dang, that is powerful. I am reading the book right now. Also attending CoDA. I don't want to get to the end of my life never knowing who I am (or was).
Shame based relatives act out mostly when there is a death in the family. Met John Bradshaw studies on the Family, Shame and healing the inner child in 1987 when I was in recovery, hoping my whole family can listen to him so that they can see how to heal and come out of hiding themselves.
There is one reading that has allowed me to heal and find myself again despite depression, anxiety and panic attacks. The book is called " Everything Will be Fine I promise". It's a read I recommend to anyone who wants to heal and find the courage to change their life. I wish everyone that I can heal from the past 🌱🥀🌺
I saw this video 10 years ago and it really helped me back then. Today I rewatch and it clicks even more. The ingredient that I was missing was COMPASSION. I entered a phase of trying to « undo » the shame by doing other stuff, but I couldn’t forgive myself. It’s only when I became humble, that I loosened the shame I carried…
10:46 It's very important for parents to understand that the learning and teaching process goes both ways. Sometimes the kids are the teachers and the parents are the students.
The stigma attached to shame can feel like condemnation and it can lead to feelings of self bewitchment but you’re in blessings; just feel the feeling of bewitchment, shame or guilt if so is true and move on! Awesome sermon.
The thing that destroys shame is honesty. As soon as I was honest, shame was destroyed. I no longer felt the desire to watch porn compulsively. I realized that I was whole and there was nothing I needed to be loved. I realized that I was trying to achieve and be rich so I could feel significant. I was trying to feel significant because I felt the opposite; i felt like shit. But when I turned to honesty, my life became more peaceful. The truth will set you free.
Honesty about yourself is also akin to acceptance of yourself. But damn is it so hard to be honest and accepting of yourself bc of the shame. I’m happy to hear that being honest worked so well for you
@@woowoo2358 I have continued to struggle being honest. The struggle feels like being in the middle of the ocean. There are times I have my head above water. And there are moments where something pulls me down deep and I struggle not to drown in the depths of shame.
@PrincessoftheEarth696 hi! I’m just starting this as well and I’m curious, besides this video & his 2 books, is there anything else that has helped u get to the other side?
Amazing, I have just known this brilliant healer! This is so moving and inspiring. The whole world needs to see this presentation so we can start to heal ourselves and the planet ! 🙏🏾
Amen. I wish I had learned about this ages ago I had no clue how much shame I was carrying with me since I saw that, the lack of perception of my own emotions, it's so powerful, it's touching everyone and it might be one of the greatest sickness of our society. Thank you
I want to help my adult kid who is having this problem ,as he mentioned in the video ,I think my son has internalised shame . I don't know how to put it so that he gets this and work on himself . He doesn't want to listen to such kind of things ,he is still focussed externally ,something around him to change . I can not model myself as I am myself struggling and working on myself . So can't guide him that much
@@johnnysprocketz yes ,actually there is no going back . Although it does feel like giving up sometimes but then everything makes sense even the thought of giving up and frustration seems like part of the journey . Everything is "ok ",peace or frustration
@@reenasingh-id9zh you can show him where you are and explain what has happened and what you're working on. You can explain what might have happened to him and that you want to help and support him. By leaving him alone will make him resentful especially if he finds this stuff on his own
I can't explain why life starts out so well & then gets DAMAGED so badly. I just have to accept that Divinity has a reason to make humans so STRANGE! 😮
This changed my life. Never experienced shame articulated in this way. My inner child is terrified of mistakes and criticism and being human. So I’ve played the people-pleaser and the placater. Low self-esteem. Homeless. Fear of joy and play. Never felt so seen. Thank you, John. In tears. I just wanna recover and champion that beautiful boy. ❤️ Blessings to all on this journey back home.
Bradshaw also talked about all this as it plays out in academic and work environments. He talked about what he called 'poisonous pedagogy'. He drew on the work of Melody Beattie, Alice Miller, and others like them who were popular with some therapists as well as clients, along with people in diverse 12-step recovery programs.
My sibling and I carry the shame of my father. His mom had 6 children with one man that never married her. When she was pregnant with child #6 he married another person. So my father said he was a bastard (1940s).He became an alcoholic at 12 years old. He got so much anger when he was drunk that he would braked chairs, windows,walls,doors… I thought he was the incredible hock … we children became shameful of seeing dad sleeping on the sidewalks by the bar and our classmates telling us…or the scandals in our house because he became violent against mother. She never defended herself or divorced him.Father tried to be a good father,the father he never had.Now the sperm”donor” (grandfather) and my dad passed. I am in my 70s now and I realizing why I am so ashamed to even when people looked up me or even talked to me.the stress of making mistakes that I wished I could die.this is the best description of my inner mind. Thanks.
Guided meditations on toxic shame, healing the inner child and releasing trauma from the body have helped me so much, and the 12 step program adult children of alcoholics is available online meetings.
very helpful. enjoy listening to him from way back, decades ago!. bluntness speaker, blunt speaking. eye opener with frank words about subjects and taboos that can hit the ears of must of those around like it has me. thanks for speaking and sharing your experiences.
This is so powerful still watching in 2024
Listened to this one 3 times a day, at the beginning of my healing journey, for a year and i am back here to say it saved my life. It changed me and changed the trajectory of my life.
Wow
❤
Im so happy for you! ❤
Found this book last weekend, I knew RIGHT away it was going to change my trajectory path too. I have tears around how much I've learned reading half of this book. The book gives GREAT detail and steps to take. Every bookshelf and library needs to offer this book it's absolutely life regenerative. SHARE the healing what a blessing.
Glad to hear that ❤️
He was such ahead of the times … even today , professionals in the field do not stress the important subject of "toxic shame" as an underlying issue to so many other symptoms.
See Brene Brown!!! Her research, Ted talks, and books definitely picked up where John Bradshaw left off. She also has a similar sense of humor which make me think of him when I listen to her.
I agree. People in the field continue to stay on the surface. I liked what he said that working on the guilt does the therapy will last for years. That’s why shame needs to be addressed to heal those emotions.
I was just recommended this by a counselor so it sounds like professionals are finally catching on
@@tbbart6463 I haven't read any of Brene Brown's books (I did listen to the audio version of a very short one), but I've seen some of her talks on YT. I don't see her addressing shame that originates in childhood. She seems to think people's problems begin in adulthood, like most Americans seem to. What am I missing?
most cant bear to look at it by nature of what it is
Miss you JB. Not enough people honor your legacy. Your work has helped me immensely.
Radical honesty
His "legacy" is utter trash.
I'm planning on re-recording some of John Bradshaw's lectures to move his messages onto modern audio and video equipment, since they're so much better today than they were when this was recorded in the 1980's. Personally, I think everyone in America would love to hear his powerful teachings that touch our wounded inner child. Like this comment to let me know if that's something that interests you! His work, along with Joseph Campbell's, has really helped me to become a whole person, and I just have to carry it on into the future!!
May Allah Subhannawat'alla Hepls You Insha Allah❤
I herd this 30 years ago, And this lecture changed my life and bought so much healing. Today I hold the hot potato and it burns, but I won’t pass on that hot potato.
🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
That's the key.. what Jung called conscious suffering
Omg Shame is "Hiding". That one hits hard. Thank you.
I am currently reading his book "Home coming", and I've got to say that this guy clearly his stuff. The depth of his experience and detailed wisdom is, at times, breath taking. Gos bless him.
Just bought his book on toxic shame and about to start, what's Home coming about?
@@0ijm3409fiwrekjconnecting with and healing your inner child at different stages of development. Highly recommend! You can find an audiobook version here on youtube just search ‘jon bradshaw homecoming’.
kept my precious copy from the early 90s brilliant
He’s a real hero
hello
can I contact you
He wrote the book that helped the most in my journey to stop using alcohol and drugs and to began to be an adult. I have so much gratitude.
Thank you my brother. I love you.😅
Which book
You mean "healing the shame that binds you"?
@@samuelinauen6552 yes
10:00 need a community to raise kids
37:00 anger
39:15 comparison
46:34 Shane vs guilt
52:50 addiction
What a beautiful legacy he has left us with.
44:00 mens issues
Is he late?
this man truely deserves a standing ovation. every sentence he says is full of meaning, such an intense and deeply truthful talk. which is still so needed, so needed to hear for most of humanity. thx for sharing.
I've stuck gold wih this!!! November 19th 2024.
It's time people stop saying, they were doing their best. Being physically attacked by a parent at age 3, being used as their personal punching bag, because they are under stress and you happen to be in their presence......is not their best. I can accept that they were doing the only thing they knew to do. Physical violence is never anyone's "best".
I completely understand your point here.
My "mother" instilled existential guilt in me from very young, she complained many times about how I had interrupted her promising sports career, she would say it in a tone of poor me, why did I have to get stuck with you, you ruined my life by being born, like she was hard done by and regretted my existence. Is this an example of a parent "doing their best"? She was affectionless and mean-spirited. Giving birth doesnt make one a mother, being a mother does. Only a mother in title, never in deed.
Victims of familial abuse are retraumatized by well-meaning therapists who under-estimate the abuse, because it is not in their realm of experience.
With particular regards to familial narcissistic scapegoating abuse, this is far more complex than mere physical abuse, not to down-play the impact of physical abuse of course. I would suggest that only a person who has experienced being the family scapegoat and has healed enough to help others is qualified to be a therapist in this field.
The odds of being retraumatized in therapy by someone who simply doesnt understand the sinister and complex nature of this kind of abuse is very high.
Covert narcissism / malignant narcissism is the kind where the domineering parent chooses a partner that will be their enabler (usually a scapegoat from their own family of origin, when selecting a partner, the narcissist can detect their vulnerability and propensity to be dominated). Covert narcissism is where the abuser has two distinct faces or behavioral modes, one for in public and one for behind closed doors. This kind of narcissist also only has children in order to create living dolls that they can dominate and abuse, who are not afforded their own sovereign rights to their individuality and are only viewed as extensions of the narcissist who has a sense of entitlement to do whatever they like with their children, who "owe them their lives", "if it wasnt for me, you wouldnt even exist".
This is a small example of a parent who definitely DID NOT DO THEIR BEST. They were maliciously abusive, knowingly abusive, calculatedly abusive, indulged themselves in the power it afforded them at the very high expense of their childs happiness, sense of self, and life development.
Can you imagine the fury one would feel at a clueless therapist trying to find ways to make excuses for the parents behavior, "its not easy being a parent", they most likely were doing their best with what they had or understood at the time" No, not at all, that is completely incorrect and only serves to retraumatize and make one feel more alone and misunderstood.
@@HeartFeltGestureThank you for the courage it took to write this. You're right, she was no mother, just a bitter egg donor. She should have kept her pants zipped up to protect her "sports career." Sorry, but I'm just really mad for the hideous things you had to hear as an innocent little child. Mad and sad. The excuses ignorant inexperienced people make for damaging individuals does indeed retraumatize all over again. Just know that you are special and precious in God's eyes. What He thinks of you is all that matters. Don't forget this!
@@deborahcarder4270 Thank you for your kind understanding words. I know the Divine Spirit knows my pain, He has visited me several times, with His undeniable tangible Presence and and Loving Instruction. He visited me when I was 24, and before I had even realized how bad my childhood had been, He said he Blessed me for my loveless childhood and let me know that He had always been with me.
This Graceful acknowledgement planted the seed that I had indeed had a loveless childhood, and instigated my research into familial narcissism to be able to make sense of what I had endured.
You are right to say my "mother" should have kept her legs together to protect her sports career. I have cut her out of my life, she is dead to me, I wont be attending her funeral. She will never change or stop her behavior and has no remorse or empathy for what she did. The abuse has stretched far into adulthood with infantilization tactics.
My two sisters understand why I have cut her out, and have thanked me for helping them make sense of what they also endured, albeit to a lesser extent.
@@HeartFeltGesture do you think narcissists are 'knowingly abusive'. My Dad has NPD and seemingly is oblivious to the abuse he inflicted on me as a child. He seems to really believe he was a good parent
@@aor3220hey my mother seemed like having dementia all her life, because she never remembered doing anything harmful. Later on, not remembering went into denial. Just know, you’re not alone, your feeling are valid and we don’t imagine facts.
Life-changing video. If you are here, it means you have entered a new chapter of your life. It’s a chapter of renewal and healing ❤️🩹. Take time with yourself to finally heal. You deserve it. You deserve peace. My message is to you just as much it is to myself. Be well!
Thank you. Be well
John's work saved my life in the early 90's. Bless you John, RIP.
God bless i hope ur well to this day bro.
I've been learning all this information from John Bradshaw, Gabor Mate, etc etc on trauma, complex-PTSD, shame - it's been a few years now but nothing is making a difference to how I feel. I know a lot more but still feel exactly as broken, lost and defective as I always have.
Have you tried any group therapy? Shame thrives in isolation. Best wishes
Stay gold Bob 👍
@@chrisseager1820 witnessed discharge of trauma is very healing, hey?
Couldn’t live this life without men like this. I’ve taken all my most critical values and information from these very rigorously virtuous men. I’ll be forever paying that forward.
Shame is a terrible thing to live with. I've been living with shame most of my life. John Bradshaw makes a lot of sense.
get rid of it brother ... believe me, it'll set you free.
@@veritasdude1358 how can I help my adult kid who is just completely blocked and doesn't believe it will work when I tell him . He is not convinced .
@@veritasdude1358 how do you get rid of shame ?
Dear Reena,
Your success with helping your son to grow out of the shame that seems to have bogged him down (much like chaining him down and preventing him to move, let alone flying) "critically" depends on identifying the root causes of that very feeling of shame.
The mechanisms with which shame poisons our psyche, vary greatly based on their relative root cause. For example, a feeling of shame stemming from the residual guilt of some action is fundamentally different from the shame one might feel because of the degree of their perceived attractiveness, and so on.
@@reenasingh-id9zh
Hi, I just copied the answer that I just wrote to Reena, which I think generally applies to your question as well:
Your success with helping your son to grow out of the shame that seems to have bogged him down (much like chaining him down and preventing him to move, let alone flying) "critically" depends on identifying the root causes of that very feeling of shame.
The mechanisms with which shame poisons our psyche, vary greatly based on their relative root cause. For example, a feeling of shame stemming from the residual guilt of some action is fundamentally different from the shame one might feel because of the degree of their perceived attractiveness, and so on.
@@inatorquoisemood93
Have listened to this so many times, love it, originally watched the episode he came on with Oprah, here on TH-cam, after watching it I felt healed, I brought the little girl home with me, and the shame disappeared. Thank you John, still helping us after death, you left your mark.
He speaks with such a good combination of wisdom and humor.
The man who changed my paradigm of life
is it possible that I contact you ?
As a recovering alcoholic I knew I felt shame for things I did under the influence but it was John who helped me realize that shame leads to self hate and addiction. I knew I had to identify when my shame first started and heal from that impact. Thank God literally for John.
I love you Dr. Bradshaw, thank you for everything
Still powerful even 35+ years later thank you for this 🙏
I discovered this guy when he was doing a Sunday program on PBS in the mid 80’s. I’ve read his first 2 books and went to a presentation he did at the Brown Hotel in Denver with about 1000 others for $100 each. 25 years ago he came back to Denver to a Lakewood church and spoke to about 60 people for a $25 each. He was still as powerful as ever. I always thought it was amazing that Carol Burnett did the forward to his first book
A bodhisattva of our time. Healed himself to heal others.
He made the hero’s journey & returned to help others.
I was watching and listening to John Bradshaw before Brene Brown reintroduced us to the power of vulnerability and how to be shame resilient. Thanks for this. When Bradshaw speaks people heal.
😢😢😢🎉🎉
😢🎉🎉😢🎉🎉😊😢😢
😢
I Love John Bradshaw. He's right on the Mark with stuff.
We were poetry itself 💗
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16a
A Healer and wonderful Human being. Dr Gabor Mate comes to mind too ❤️
Thank you so much for uploading this needed information 🎁❤️☀️🙏
Great guy. Amazing he can tie humor into such a heavy subject
John, literally, saved my life. I saw him in denver, on KPFT, and was instantly drawn to him. During the first seminar, I made a remark that changed his seminar. And the second time he was in denver, I made a remark to change life, just as he had change to mine..
Dang, that is powerful. I am reading the book right now. Also attending CoDA. I don't want to get to the end of my life never knowing who I am (or was).
I'm so happy this exists. This is so healing
I bet you're still in treatment, dumbo.
Shame based relatives act out mostly when there is a death in the family. Met John Bradshaw studies on the Family, Shame and healing the inner child in 1987 when I was in recovery, hoping my whole family can listen to him so that they can see how to heal and come out of hiding themselves.
Absolute brilliance from this man! I could listen to him all day long. Truly remarkable!! Thank you for sharing this!!
Just wow. He was a legend. The depth of his knowledge and the impact of his amazing presence is incredible. The way his delivers, so much to learn.
Humour is spot on !!!
There is one reading that has allowed me to heal and find myself again despite depression, anxiety and panic attacks. The book is called " Everything Will be Fine I promise". It's a read I recommend to anyone who wants to heal and find the courage to change their life. I wish everyone that I can heal from the past 🌱🥀🌺
I saw this video 10 years ago and it really helped me back then. Today I rewatch and it clicks even more. The ingredient that I was missing was COMPASSION. I entered a phase of trying to « undo » the shame by doing other stuff, but I couldn’t forgive myself. It’s only when I became humble, that I loosened the shame I carried…
10:46 It's very important for parents to understand that the learning and teaching process goes both ways.
Sometimes the kids are the teachers and the parents are the students.
I started readed the book of him, discovered him today and wow tears are flowing looks incredible
The stigma attached to shame can feel like condemnation and it can lead to feelings of self bewitchment but you’re in blessings; just feel the feeling of bewitchment, shame or guilt if so is true and move on! Awesome sermon.
The clarity in these words is unprecedented.
Wow I have this book and started reading it today, wow just wow.
The thing that destroys shame is honesty. As soon as I was honest, shame was destroyed. I no longer felt the desire to watch porn compulsively. I realized that I was whole and there was nothing I needed to be loved. I realized that I was trying to achieve and be rich so I could feel significant. I was trying to feel significant because I felt the opposite; i felt like shit. But when I turned to honesty, my life became more peaceful. The truth will set you free.
Powerful!!
Honesty about yourself is also akin to acceptance of yourself. But damn is it so hard to be honest and accepting of yourself bc of the shame. I’m happy to hear that being honest worked so well for you
@@woowoo2358 I have continued to struggle being honest. The struggle feels like being in the middle of the ocean. There are times I have my head above water. And there are moments where something pulls me down deep and I struggle not to drown in the depths of shame.
I am struggling so much with this. I have no idea how to even begin. I feel like, like I need someone to draw me a map. my shame is so deep.
@PrincessoftheEarth696 hi! I’m just starting this as well and I’m curious, besides this video & his 2 books, is there anything else that has helped u get to the other side?
Amazing, I have just known this brilliant healer! This is so moving and inspiring. The whole world needs to see this presentation so we can start to heal ourselves and the planet ! 🙏🏾
This is so good. I keep going back to this to laugh and cry.
Thank you. This is one of his best. I got to meet him twice in Houston.
You're lucky!
Amen. I wish I had learned about this ages ago I had no clue how much shame I was carrying with me since I saw that, the lack of perception of my own emotions, it's so powerful, it's touching everyone and it might be one of the greatest sickness of our society. Thank you
I want to help my adult kid who is having this problem ,as he mentioned in the video ,I think my son has internalised shame . I don't know how to put it so that he gets this and work on himself . He doesn't want to listen to such kind of things ,he is still focussed externally ,something around him to change . I can not model myself as I am myself struggling and working on myself . So can't guide him that much
@@reenasingh-id9zh never quit
@@johnnysprocketz yes ,actually there is no going back . Although it does feel like giving up sometimes but then everything makes sense even the thought of giving up and frustration seems like part of the journey . Everything is "ok ",peace or frustration
@@reenasingh-id9zh i recommend hypnosis for u
@@reenasingh-id9zh you can show him where you are and explain what has happened and what you're working on. You can explain what might have happened to him and that you want to help and support him. By leaving him alone will make him resentful especially if he finds this stuff on his own
Be sure to get the 10 part PBS series he did on the Family. Most libraries will carry them.
thank you so much! I just found this series here on TH-cam for free after seeing this comment :)
Just beautiful.
Powerful and way ahead of his time
Wow I did not expect to love this guy so much!
I love you John Bradshaw!! 😢I love your personality of true honesty 😊
Spot on!!! Change the rules, embrace the change, and allow vulnerability & authenticity within yourself - today.
Who is this man , why u didn’t know him before? Why was he hiding? He is so amazing, may his soul be blessed wherever he is ❤️
WOW, just WOW
Thanks for uploading this. If you have more videos by this great man please upload
I can't explain why life starts out so well & then gets DAMAGED so badly. I just have to accept that Divinity has a reason to make humans so STRANGE! 😮
🌼🦄🌞blessings to all..you are heroes💚💗💚💗💚💗💚🙌 love is the golden key🍀🙏 maximum respect from Toronto🌼🦄🦋
This is such rich information, thank you for sharing!
Thanks for saving my life John!!!!!
God bless this man
I love Dr. Bradshaw and how much he has taught me.❤
What an amazing guy 🙏
Thanks so much, Anton. JB was and is a gem. Such wisdom Thank you for posting this talk on YT. xxox
He is my hero. My Savior.
This is really how we saw new ideas before TH-cam.
This is powerful.
What a speaker, i can relate a lot to him i believe i had a pretty similar growing up situation emotionally
This changed my life.
Never experienced shame articulated in this way.
My inner child is terrified of mistakes and criticism and being human.
So I’ve played the people-pleaser and the placater. Low self-esteem. Homeless.
Fear of joy and play.
Never felt so seen.
Thank you, John.
In tears.
I just wanna recover and champion that beautiful boy.
❤️
Blessings to all on this journey back home.
This is so fantastic! I really needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing ❤
Brilliant Enlightening Stuff. Was introduced to his work mdecades ago. So TRUE
This is the best i have ever seen
Bradshaw also talked about all this as it plays out in academic and work environments. He talked about what he called 'poisonous pedagogy'.
He drew on the work of Melody Beattie, Alice Miller, and others like them who were popular with some therapists as well as clients, along with people in diverse 12-step recovery programs.
❤🙏❤️ John Bradshaw ❤🙏❤️
My sibling and I carry the shame of my father. His mom had 6 children with one man that never married her. When she was pregnant with child #6 he married another person. So my father said he was a bastard (1940s).He became an alcoholic at 12 years old. He got so much anger when he was drunk that he would braked chairs, windows,walls,doors… I thought he was the incredible hock … we children became shameful of seeing dad sleeping on the sidewalks by the bar and our classmates telling us…or the scandals in our house because he became violent against mother. She never defended herself or divorced him.Father tried to be a good father,the father he never had.Now the sperm”donor” (grandfather) and my dad passed. I am in my 70s now and I realizing why I am so ashamed to even when people looked up me or even talked to me.the stress of making mistakes that I wished I could die.this is the best description of my inner mind. Thanks.
Guided meditations on toxic shame, healing the inner child and releasing trauma from the body have helped me so much, and the 12 step program adult children of alcoholics is available online meetings.
@@Jamiet-lk8xqthanks for sharing..
Remember when a phone would ring 30 times?
Thank you to the channel for sharing this video I'm glad to have found it after the original was removed by the censors of the times
Thank you for this video it help a lot
Thank you, so, much for posting it in its entirety. :)
Omg!!! I’m having sooo much revelation from his teachings!!
Very intersting and worth the time to listen..
very helpful.
enjoy listening to him from way back, decades ago!.
bluntness speaker, blunt speaking.
eye opener with frank words about subjects and taboos that can hit the ears of must of those around like it has me.
thanks for speaking and sharing your experiences.
Omg iv never heard of this guy . He explains everything so clearly. What insight ❤
Thankyou John. A genius
his book Homecoming is brilliant also 90s
Thank you for sharing this. Learning a lot right now
God bless you
The best talk Iv heard
@Anton D. Thank You for publishing this performance.
Are you fucking kidding That phone ☎️ rang and rang and rang😆😆
Seriously! I don’t know if I can finish the video
Wow, what an incredible video.
WOW! This was wonderful! Thank you. Much needed video...esp. right now.🤔😊
The world is my family.
😀
What a great orator. He is really good at rhetorics
No. You're just stupid enough to fall for his bs.
Thank you John Bradshaw it explains a lot
Excellent!!
Wow, I have to get this guy's book on shame now. 🙏
Do it... It is a great book!!!!
I found it hard to sit down and read, but the audio book helped me enormously!!!
Is there a audio on here
@@georginajovanovic see at Audible