Chatting with Lady C - Living With & Surviving the Narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
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In the thirtieth episode Lady C and Misha discuss being brought up by a narcissistic parent, the turmoil involved and how to survive the experience. This and much else is covered in her book Daughter of Narcissus.
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Managed by Misha Ziadie-Campbell
©Copyright reserved Lady Colin Campbell
No one deserves to have a narcissistic parent.
It’s horrible.
How well I know you have spoken the truth.
They're also vindictive scapegoaters. It takes ages to recover from the Complex trauma, which can only start after No Contact.
Yes, it is!
@@mariamalhotra8228 Dear MM, I went No Contact in 2023 and I am doing well mentally but it is making me physically unwell but hopefully I will recover physically too. Being without them is so refreshing! I had 60 years of it.
I’m sorry to say that Misha is correct that narcissism is a pandemic in our times. These traits are so widespread that it’s commonplace to see it.
Misha is correct to a point, there are spectrums & Lady C explained it beautifully
It's not contagious. We're just becoming more aware of it because of several high profile narcissists in the media right now. Most of them are born that way--basically, without a conscience. Add some intelligence and extreme ambition to that mix and you've got MM, AH, and Lori Vallow, for example--all dangerous people willing to use people to get what they want and discard them when they're not useful anymore. All three of these women have all the symptoms of NPD.
From the internet: "There are approximately 326 million people in the U.S. (higher now) and 6% percent of them have narcissistic personality disorder, which equals 19,560,000+ people." Add brains and ambition and, in these cases, female beauty and viola.
I think it's amplified by social media - doubly amplified in fact, because social media both feeds narcissistic traits, and exposes them for public viewing.
Lucius Seneca I agree
@@luciusseneca2715 Yup, yup, yup and yup. Spot on.
If you want to drive a narcissist nuts, ignore them completely. Do not acknowledge their existence.
Yes. Disregarding a narcissist is like sticking a knife in their guts. The more you disregard them, the more the knife gets twisted.
That’s what I had to do to my mother.
Lisa that’s sad Lisa, I hope you’re happy now x
Donna B.
EXACTLY. We don't hear very much of The Everyday ones.
Most prominent examples are represented by the rogue royals. 😖 It's a huge pity that THEY are so hard to ignore due to the lengths they go to to stay in the media.🤮
Notice how a dog chases its tail 😖⁉️. *Theirs is a very sad tale*🤢
@@raccuia1 THEY stick the knife in their own guts and blame others just to keep the attention flowing..... They cause THEIR own pain and blame *EVERYONE ELSE *
IT'S THEIR OXYGEN Supply.
I had a mother who was a narcissist. It took me years to figure it out but once I realized it I was deeply saddened that I had wasted so many years of my life being her target.
Diane Mayers me to....
Me also.
Yes it's mind boggling .
Going 'no contact' is the only way. I am going through this at the mo'. You really need to protect yourself. They are evil soulless human beings...
We all feel that way once we find out, but on the upside is the liberation. We know it's not us, it's her!
Other people are like furniture to narcissists. Some useful, some not.
Vivid but accurate.
Exactly like our mother........
Or a Pawn to be used in whatever game they are playing at the time.
And the chair they usually fall back on gets the worst treatment until fully broken and discarded.
@@Murgatroydian When I stopped being that chair she moved on to my younger sister.Shes nicer to the sons
The love, admiration and respect that Misha has towards his mother, and vice versa, is simply beautiful. Lady C has such a lovely command of the English language. Love listening to her,
Beautifully expressed comment which I'm sure speaks for many of us.
Eye opening
Gosh my ex husband was a narcissist it nearly broke me...... NEARLY, the whole experience turned my life upside down, made me a stronger independent woman, but it still effects me to this day.
It’s probably how Lady C is the strong, no nonsense , straight talking , independent woman she is today ☝️🌹🌟✨
Me too
Mine too. Thank God it only lasted five years. My mind would have turned to mush.
They break beautiful people ...
@@flowersofthefield340 Narcissists vampiricize beautiful souls, because narcissists somewhere know their self-love is superficial. They need to feed on substance. Sadly.
Can so relate to that
100% My life. Ended up marrying one. Living hell. Finally free at 54yrs old.
Hooray!
Me too! Hurray for freedom!!!
This topic is very interesting to me because I grew up in a family that was destroyed by multiple narcissists which created some co-dependents, some learned helplessness, avoidant personalities and predators. I could have set myself on fire to keep my Mother warm and it was no more than what I was supposed to do. I felt crazy and it was always my fault unless she needed me and then it was someone else’s turn to be the enemy. In the end, all of the sibling relationships were destroyed and she is still the victim. If she stabs you, somehow she’s the one bleeding. Thank you for this topic.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I hope it is easier for you now. My life was rough too because of a narcissist mother. Always chaos and lots of alcohol involved. The worst was when I was a teen and becoming very pretty.
Any excuse to punish me- she would buy brown hair dye and dye my blond hair. I was very popular at school. But it was so embarrassing to show up at school with grayish hair, or bluish hair, or brown hair. And the chaos is still there a little at her age of 95. I am going to order lady C’s book today.
So true
I hope you are doing well today
How your words ring true. I only stumbled upon the real problem between my mother and I two years ago. And she died in June. I mourned her many times already. But now I am also free not just sad but of course it's more complicated than that. As i am 60 next year there is so.much water under the bridge but i urge anyone in this situation to seek therapy as Georgie urges. When others speak out particularly so eloquently it really helps those of us who felt, mad, bad and demolished. I try to
Live in joy by choice and take back what's left of me and my life. Its after all each ones responsibility no matter how awful the start was
You could be describing my mother and family here. Sadly Narcissist destroy their own family. None of my family speak to each other, they can't be kind or affectionate, they only know how to either use each other, character assassinate when they've done wrong and want to cover their back, and create triangles where there's always a scapegoat. These are the lessons learned from mother.
They are extremely cruel, selfish, and dangerous. 😭
They are beyond cruel. And when you are weeping on the ground from what they have done and said...they are embarrassed and disgusted by your show of weekness
@@PicassoKatTreasures you are both spot on. 👍
Evil.
@@PicassoKatTreasures Because they lack empathy.
Yes. Especially dangerous 🥵. I unfortunately have the experience. It’s painful and very scary.
I agree with Misha and it confirms the nurture element. We’re living in an extremely narcissistic society.
Shelley's Cloud MM ‘s father fostered her narcissism . You are who you are when you are born, but her poor father wasn’t aware of how he was enabling her. She used him from the time she realized she could !
I agree with Misha too.
Agreed, from personal experience millennials think the word NO is disrespecting them. They don’t t like that word to anything they want.
I agree. People have become self centred, greedy and utterly selfish.
I agree with Misha.
Misha is so observant, he s listening to every word, what a lovely young man, obviously raised well. He s correct about people today too. Thank you both . Xx
He questioned everything his Mother said..quite NOT lovely at all
Hi Misha, how lucky are you to have such an awesome mum, "A Woman of Substance."
All the way from Alice Springs with luv. Namaste beautiful souls. xxx
wow, Alice Springs! Cool!
Uncanny ... almost identical scenes from my own childhood as a daughter of horribly narcissistic mommy.
So sorry :((
Me too. I never realized it until just recently.
Uncanny isn't it. The patterns are so common.
It is so hard to think that a woman can act like Meghan !!! She doesn't look like a woman !!! and Harry looks like a transgender. So we don't think that a woman that received such a biig attention could act like an invader that want to destroy the English family..Harry was such a charming young man. Loved by all the family and now hated.
Mine too, I was an accessory sometimes then the whipping boy. I was raised to be the servant
The colour of your dress is gorgeous and suits you beautifully. Mickey certainly loves you.
Thank you for your insight!
I have been tormented by a narsist for a long time. The reason I let the person torment me again and again was that she knew I felt so terrible guilty for being the only member of my family to survive Auschwitz-Birkenau.I was only seven but.for years and years I was burden by this guilt.And s neighbour here in Jerusalem foùnd in me a perfect victim for her fullblown.narssism.It was the outbreak.of the corona.which brought.me to my senses when.she told me that she risked her life if I accepted the vaccines to protect me from the corona virus.
And then I was listening to you and your son discussing narsism and its danger.
Thank you both .!!!!
@@luckyhundred5569 I am glad you finally freed yourself from the clutches of the narcissistic "friend " who played on your sense of guilt for surviving. There is no guilt in surviving the horrors of the extermination camp you are alive to testify to what happened in the holocaust and to pray that never again will such monstrous atrocities be allowed to happen because other people looked the other way. Edmund Burke in the 18th century said that for evil to triumph it is necessary that good men do nothing. Your voice will be a beacon of hope in our dark world. May God bless you.
@@luckyhundred5569 May God always Bless You! I am sending you the biggest HUG 🤗 EVER!
I hope Harry sees this video.
M Corbett hell have to get past the gatekeeper.
Nancy Chivers you’ve got that one right!
He needs it on a loop!
One of the best descriptions of a narcissist I've heard
"...nobody is actually real to them, except themselves..".
Frighteningly true.
Lady C’s description of her narcissist is dead-on. I was married to one and realized if I didn’t divorce him he would eventually kill me or our son. If anyone listening to Lady C can relate to most things she is saying, get out of your relationship. You deserve better and will never get it in your situation. 12 years after leaving my narcissist I met the love of my life and life is now beautiful ❤️
Congratulations! And your words are so true!
So glad you got out.
Same here Happy Girl😊
She’s describing a naccisist spot on.
I absolutely love Misha - he really participates in the conversation - not just an interviewer! Great work Misha!!!!
Active listener
He is so sweet. I hope he meets a wonderful lady someday. Lady C raised a wonderful son. 😀
NOT!
I love this woman and her son . Genuine and lovely people .
Lady C is way smarter than Meghan Markle. No doubt! I can't wait to read her book on narcissism. My sister was a narcissist.
Me too .....can’t stand her
I agree with misha about people these days. But yes a true narcissist is a whole different level.
Thank you for noting this, I see this too. Misha is very astute. I wonder how much this is to do with the way we have been compelled for the last 30-40years by politically correct administrations (from community associations and schools to social services and governments themselves) to raise our children essentially without reasonable discipline whilst, at school, they have been emotionally and intellectually deformed by indulgence and praised simply for turning up whilst being encouraged to be the center of the the universe ...?
@@iggle6448 lady C's mother predates the changes in attitude in the last decades.
Sadly these people have always been with us.
Jill Bayer Indeed. Pure evil.
I cried many years before my Narcissistic mother died. When she left this earth, I had no tears left to shed.
Me as well. I've had many narcissist relatives die and I felt nothing but relief.
AMEN! When my mother died all I could hear in my head was, "Ding dong, the witch is DEAD!!!...the wicked witch is dead!!!"
It was a “relief” - such a weight lifted off my shoulders
I did not know what narcissism was until I tried to commit suicide from a relationship. I went to therapy and bought a book that opened my eyes: Malignant Self-Love. This book is written by a full-blown narcissist. I learned so much from it. I realized my biological father is a narcissist, so it makes sense I got caught in the web of one for a relationship. Never again! It was awful. Stay completely away from them. Cut the cord because this is the best way to save your life. 💜🌸
So sorry for you. Glad that you’re still here. They aren’t worth it. And I agree that most of my relationships were with cruel male narcissists. Perhaps we subconsciously sensed a feeling of someone familiar to our narcissist parent and chose wrong. I’ve found that living alone is much easier, and more peaceful -and perhaps Lady C has felt the same way?
@@vaguely8020 Thank you. I am so sorry for your pain as well. I lived alone for the past 15 years. I was single for 9 years (me and my cat and dog). I decided I was ready for my ideal relationship, the right one. No more settling. When I set my intentions and committed to my ideal relationship within my mindset, my best friend and soulmate easily came into my life within 10 months. It has been almost 3 years and we are still going strong. I got clear with myself about the type of relationship and the type of person I truly wanted in my life. I wrote it down and stood firm with my decision. He is 99% of everything I wrote him out to be and our relationship is the way I decided for myself before I met him. I am truly so grateful! 💜 Big hugs to you! I really hope you are happy, too. 💜🌸 XO Jaclyn
Jaclyn Johnston - Manifest It!
That is such good news! I love to hear about people finding happiness after a hard beginning. And you went about it the right way.
I wish you many many years of happiness! I am happy and content. Thank you! ❤️
@@vaguely8020 I am happy for you, too! 💜💜💜 TY! 💜💜💜
Jaclyn Johnston - Manifest It! I hope you give him happiness in return.
That’s the problem with Narcissists, your son is listening to your life story but because he didn’t witness nor was he a victim, it’s hard for him because clearly he has feelings and fond memories of her. It was big hearted of you to allow that to develop with your sons and their grandmother.
What a complicated family dynamic it is
My mother never acknowledged my children. It was so hard to explain to them when they were small when they asked why their friends received cards or gifts from grandparents at birthdays and holidays.
Rhonda Crosswhite so sad 😞
@@mutedcool4621 I’m wondering how being the daughters of such mothers shaped how we parented our own children. I often think maybe I was too lenient with my kids I never tried to be their best friend as I was the parent but I was not strict except where it concerned good manners. They’re parents now themselves an I rather like my own grandmother was to me. A bit indulgent while not letting anyone get hurt.
Rhonda Crosswhite it is very complicated. Because of my mother I preferred to raise boys because I didn’t know how to act with a daughter because how I was treated.
Misha you make a very valid point. I have found as I get older, that more and more people are takers.
so sad! in our country narcs get the rewards, the good ones have been dying out and only terrorists get imported (USA).
@@RawOlympia Same here in the UK!
@@MegaMesozoic May God help us, Jane Aston ~ !
I also think that the reason many of us find it hard to break away completely from a situation like this is because we have been taught from an early age to 'honor thy parent'... we feel somehow guilty when we break those ties.
You should honor your parents but that doesn't mean you should keep an abuser in your life. I think cutting off a narc parent is honoring them because you don't have to keep giving them opportunities to make you hate them!
My mother used to say "honor your mother like the Bible says". I finally responded that she didn't want "honor"; she wanted to be worshiped. And that I refused to do. She finally shut-up!
Lady C, thank you for being strong enough to share your personal story. While I’m in my 60s now, I just started to figure this out. Things got real bad after my father died in 2016. God bless my father, but he just gave in to her moods & whims. He was a significant buffer, but afterwards she didn’t have to behave any longer. I’m the oldest & a daughter. My life quickly became so miserable trying to help her, but NOTHING WORKED. My brother convinced her to get hospitalized in a mental hospital, then flew back out of town early the next morning. When I just couldn’t play by her narc game rules, she literally made me out to be the enemy. Those malicious made-up lies, has turned her family members against me. She tried to turn her grandchildren (my biological children against me.) Each one is an adult and refuse to put up with that crap . We all live in the same city and they want nothing to do with her. I totally understand your pain. I pray that all women who have been seriously humbled by a narcissistic parent will continue on their healing journey. I’m fully committed! No more vampiring my good energy. I have forgiven not only her, but myself for allowing this abuse to happen to me. 🤗🤗🤗💕💕💕
Avoidance is sometimes an act of self preservation.
My husband and I have both gone NC, or we would be destroyed by our respective narc mother's.
Its easier said than done as like lady C said there charming, charismatic one moment, then horrid with in moments it's like standing on trap doors trying to excit a room
How many here have had experience with a narcissist that has greatly affected your life? I married one, & It took me 15 yrs to get rid of his mental impact, & still the odd thing pops into my brain.
A sibling, primarily, who as a man doesn't make the distinction between competing with his own gender. He destroyed my relationship with my parents with lies. He befriended a homicidal disgruntled ex to fuel his insanity. I could go on.
I am a victim....they ruin you....
I have too. Much like lady C’s experience. It is somehow comforting to see I’m not alone and that there are so many like us in the world. I would love to see a book by lady C telling our stories. As a child, I felt that I was inferior because I had such a horrible childhood. A book of our stories might help teens and young adults find their way in the world easier. And teach them how to spot and avoid dangerous narcissistic partners and friends.
My mother had significant mental health issues involving a mix of manic depression (bi-polar) and paranoid delusion (schizophrenia). However, It was my middle sister, the Golden Child that was the narcissist. I was the youngest, the invisible one. My oldest sister was adopted and forever the scapegoat. My oldest sister and I bonded over horses and later became each other’s “enlightened witness” to validate our truth (priceless).
While my peers were thriving and being nurtured and guided towards relevant goals, I didn’t even know where the starting line was or even that there was one. Thankfully, I was an athlete (before it was ok for girls to be athletes -1970s) and unknowingly participated in self therapy with horses, swimming, and martial arts.
Cheers Lady C and Misha. ...and Mickey. I love your channel and can hear your voice as I read your book. Thank you for your inspiration.
Robyn Familia That’s a great idea. I started looking online 12 yrs, 11,10,9,8 & at only 7 yrs ago there were a handful of people talking about this subject on TH-cam. Now there is a ton of information on narcissists. Us victims are coming out of the woodwork & we’ve now got a label for this dysfunction, & it’s a relief we’re not alone.
Good afternoon and how lovely to see Mickey back! Oh my goodness, I’m a couple of years older than you, dear Lady C, but listening to you was my life too. Only recently did I break free with the help of my counsellor and GP. I had a misguided sense of duty toward her. I went no contact a few months before she passed away with the dreaded virus. Her last act of spite, before she passed away, was to disinherit me. It was a small price to pay for my health which she was destroying. Now I’m putting myself back together. I so appreciate you talking about your experience. My mother was superficial too. My mother taught me how not to be and my father was the good example. I realise now how sad his life was too.
Hilda Trellis I’m so sorry you had this experience with your mother.
I hope you can start to heal now, there is always hope and a future. I pray your future can be full of happy times xx
Rachel Kingsley Thank you for your kind words. My grandmother and also one of my aunts were also afflicted with this disorder but it stops with me as I never had children. It’s hard to make a new life when you are in your seventies but at least I no longer cringe when the telephone goes. ❤️
Oh my, cringing when the phone rings. Almost sounds like PTSD. So sorry, glad you got help.
Neighborhood Cat Lady I’ve deleted all the nasty messages she left when I was not in to answer the phone. I’m just grateful that, because she was old, she would not phone me on my mobile. She once told me that I should inform her every time I went out and where I was going. Needless to say, I ignored that one being an adult. Unreasonable just doesn’t cover it.
Oh Hilda, how dreadful for you - and the final insult. I am sending positive thoughts and wishes your way for a peaceful and happy rest of your life. I suppose, despite the intense hurt she caused, it might help to a tiny degree to conclude that she was a very ill and unhappy woman indeed.
I'm so very sorry for all the pain you had to endure, Lady C. No child should have to deal with so much drama, stress and abuse. You're such a strong woman. ❤️
Sending lots of love your way! ✨
Hi my mum is exactly the same, but they get a kick out of the pain of others. They love being a martyr. I've been in and out of her life since I was 13 years old. They love being the hero.
They want to be all things, play all roles. Ugh.
I do not like the current emphasis on what I call the "forgiveness agenda". You "MUST" forgive the people who have wronged you, even if they have murdered your children, or else you will be filled with anger and rage and bitterness for the rest of your life. People who say they have done this are treated like living saints, and it creates pressure on others because it becomes a "should". I disagree. To survive and ultimately thrive, you've got to get away from them, as whole as you can, and work on reclaiming yourself. My therapist said about forgiveness: "Don't make an issue of it" - in other words, you do not HAVE TO do anything! What happened over many years and even decades is that I went from total disgust and contempt for them to a kind of measured pity. I DO feel sorry for these people because they are truly pathetic human beings. I cannot imagine anything worse than BEING that sort of person, even if they are not the ones who suffer most. Nor are there any of those kinds of people in my current circle, nor will there ever be. But this hard-won pity is NOT the same as being filled with anger and hatred for the rest of my life. Don't let anyone pressure you into something unhealthy! The "forgiveness agenda" may well be yet another attempt to silence you, because people are profoundly uncomfortable with your pain and anger and don't want to look at it. People have lost the ability to bear witness without judgement, which is what all wounded people/ALL people need. "You must forgive" can just be another way of saying "don't talk about that any more, it makes me uncomfortable".
I have no reason to forgive her and you may feel like it's important to yourselves but unfortunately I was an only child. I have a 35 years old very clever daughter my only child and her only grandchild. She has 2 degrees and a masters. Works for the NHS as a manager for mental health. She has worked at various high security mental health units including a place called broadmoor which is where they house the criminally insane. Then went on to working in a young offenders unit. She worked full time and got her masters. My Narcissist mother and her grandmother, decided that she was going to ring her place of work. She intended to tell them that my daughter was an alcoholic. She saw on Facebook that she was drinking wine. My mother took great delight in telling me that she intended to do this. Sorry but that was too much for me. Sorry for waffling, my daughter has suffered so much at her hands, she's pure evil. They lack any empathy. The reason, she wanted to do this. I 100percent know. Is that my mother thinks that she is so intelligent, everyone has to obey her if they ask for advice. I had to have no opinion on anything, it was wrong
You need a restraining order placed on her!
Lady C has a very perceptive son. She has done a great job of making sure he has his own mind and therefore can act upon his own well thought out conclusions.
Life is not perfection, profound statement. Wise you are Lady C and one cannot miss Misha is a benefactor of that wisdom.
I read her book “Daughter of Narcissus” and learned much. What a survivor and thriver she is!!
My mother is a narcissist .. I am 66 and she is still alive .......I didn't actually realise what her horrible behaviour was called until I was in my late 50's ... My childhood as a "scapegoat daughter " was horrific ... Yet everyone outside the immediate family unit thought she was wonderful ... The cruelty , albeit in different forms inflicted on my brother ( the Golden Child ) and I was hidden from the outside World ... My father died when I was 27 years old and my brother 18 years old , and she quickly married a man she could manipulate , He thought he had died and gone to heaven having such a beautiful wife... I am not being cruel here , but he was not very intelligent . He was a widower with one son who was the same age as my younger brother . By this time I had left home ( asap) and had married . My step father and mother bought a property together and my younger brother and step brother who is a wonderul person lived in the family home with them .. That is until Mother concocted a scenario where she insisted that both boys left home and found their own places to live . However , once my our stepbrother had left , Mother decided that my brother could stay .. Step father was no match to stand up to her and his son disowned him ( which is what she wanted ) .... My brother died 2 years ago having never been married , and had suffered at her hands all his life , all his relationships with women " scuppered " by our Mother ...and he was completely under her control .( enmeshed ) .. I disowned both my mother and stepfather several years ago to save my own sanity ... and I sought councelling ... Listen to Lady C x And save yourself .... x
My God, your Mother was evil ...but you made it through.i hope your are able to see a therapist to vent the hell you need to offload.
Thank you for your story. It makes mine seem like a walk in the park but it actually wasn’t.
That moment you stood up to your mother was probably the beginning of your healing.
I studied clinical psychology after I was married (now ex) to a narcissist. They are dangerous people. I have been convinced my mother is one, you are describing her to a T. There are some clinical psychologists that are good to follow on TH-cam, videos to educate you on narcissism. A great channel to follow on TH-cam is “surviving narcissism” and he is a clinical psychologist.
Yes, he has a very good channel on narcissists. He also has written a couple books that are very good.👍
Another good channel is Live Abuse Free
Dr. Ramani is my favorite.
Also Inner Integration
This was painful to listen to, 'cause it was my mother all over again. I can count the number of times that she's also slapped me and humiliated me in public, in front of whomever. Mothers who resent, and are jealous of, their own daughters are not mothers, they are monsters. Thank you for your testimony Lady C. My children will also get to have a relationship with her, but she will never see my face again. Like you say distance from these people is paramount. They don't change and sticking around is only allowing them to continue to destroy you. Both my mother and sister are narcs, mother passed it on to my sister. Good for you that you understood the pattern earlier on, it took me almost 40 years of life to understand that I don't have to have a relationship with either of them.
You help so many with this video....the NPD in my shall I say friends life....because this is public caused three suicides in the immediate family...yes they are sadists run like the wind away from them and hide your children...your son is a genius because it is the second hand smoke of our times and teach your children well about the dark triad so they will not be lambs to the slaughter
Oh, how dreadful. Great and timely wisdom you shared. 🙏
Hello Lady C, Misha and Mickey.
I think you should call your videos “Tea with Lady C”.
That would be very civilised and you could have some refreshments as we join you with our own cups of tea.
😊 🙏
Rather rude of you don't you think? This TH-cam channel has been named already I do believe!
@@catherinepositano8544 I have no idea what you are saying?
@@rachelkingsley668 you've asked Lady C to CHANGE the name of her Channel.
@@catherinepositano8544 Dear goodness, don't you have something better to do? I made a light-hearted comment which was an amusing diversion which made people smile. That's all, end of disucssion. Have a peaceful evening.
Sheesh,relax...
Image is everything to narcissists. Narcissists lie easily and often seem entirely convinced of even their most preposterous lies. Be mindful about what you reveal.
Good Afternoon Lady C and Misha - wow you have made my afternoon with another one of your most inspiring videos,
I love your son. He's so handsome and charming.😍 You did good raising him.
omg Lady C, you are my fashion idol, I adore clothes and accessories and am 65, you are living proof that you can look beautifully turned out no matter what age you are, Bravo my dear❤️from 🇨🇦.....on another note, this was the most comprehensive, useful and thoughtful dialogue on narcissism I have ever heard, I will definitely read your book on the subject, I gained some great information and coping skills today!
Betty I agree with you
I agree!
Once again, a great video full of important information. Poor Lady C. I am ordering the book today. I’ve had some of the same experiences. And I think that a lot of us that are so against Meghan markle have had narcissists in our lives. I fear for Archie and wish that Harry was smart enough to grab Archie and go back to the UK before he is too damaged. But narcissists pick men that they know can be easily controlled.
Does anyone know if there is a daughter of narcissists group online anywhere that people like us could join? It would be so interesting to hear everyone’s stories. I’ve learned so much from today’s video. Thank you Lady C.
@@vaguely8020 - brought back some memories.
Cat On a mushroom
Yes, I know what you mean. Take care❤️
I grew up with a narc too. Everything you're saying is 100% factual and it is so emotionally, mentally, and spiritually draining. out of NOWHERE there's fights and nothing makes sense. they bring up things you did 15 years ago, it's just insane.
Oh yes they love bringing up things you did years and years ago at very inappropriate moments.
You can sigh in the wrong key and it's suddlenly and attack. God help us
My narcissist mother always has to be the victim and she always had to be the biggest victim. If I had a cold, she had the flu. If we got three inches of snow, she got six inches of snow. Sounds ridiculous, right? Well it extended to even more serious matters. When I had a moment of weakness and desperation for a mother’s love I confided in her, despite knowing her incapability of empathy. I told my mother that I was raped. Instead of providing emotional support to her only daughter, she actually made up a story of also being raped, but of course (as a narcissist does) her rape was much worse than mine. Mother lied about the entire thing. She wasn’t capable of being empathetic or offering her daughter the support I longed for and needed. Instead, she had to diminish my experience to the point that I was providing her support and comfort for a situation that never occurred. My mother’s constant desire to be a victim prevented me from seeking therapy after my rape because I didn’t want to see myself as a victim. It took me 17 years to recognize that I wasn’t responsible for what happened to me.
I probably shared too much but I’m no longer ashamed of what happened to me. Your video made me cry because it described my childhood and my relationship with my mother so accurately. Thank you so much for this.
Lisa , sounds traumatic for sure. Hope that you have also found some love, healing and comfort.
Robyn Mary O’SHEA Thank you, I have gotten better thanks to therapy. I have a close relationship with one of my brothers (the scapegoat in narc terminology) but no relationship at all with my other brother (golden child). Overall I’d say my childhood made me a stronger, more resilient person and mother. Thanks again.❤️
I am sorry for what you went through
God Bless you hope you have now found peace🙏
Ive literally just started playing this but gone straight to comments. But I’ve had a similar experience. I’ve recently cut her out of my life again. The longest period I went without seeing her was 9 years.I thought she may have changed, but no change!
She indirectly insults me by saying I think your sister is the smartest & your brother is the best parent(he’s just like her)
She once told my sister she likes to play us of again each other to see how we react. When I was 18 I took an overdose but never told her. She beat me up, after finding my diary in my room where I lived at my grandads. As it mentioned how much I hated her.
When I was at my lowest , she kicked me even lower. So thank you mother, my motto has been for a long time “what don’t kill you makes you stronger”.
OMG. My mother is just like your mother. My mother is 85 and a raging alcoholic. I am 62 and still get blamed for everything. She is always "the victim." She revels in it. I really think she is too mean to die.
Jann “the spiteful ones always live longer” that’s from the cartoon film Ice Age 🤣 I think it could be true!
They live longer because they suck all the energy and life out of those around them.
@@Roxy0405 😉👏👏👏
@@rachelkingsley668 Oh noooo 😯
Debra Alderson that is really funny but also true ! 🤔😳
Wow Lady C! I will NEVER forget my Fathers funeral, i was sitting next to my mother when we were approached by several women who had been in a group i had been facilitating. These women expressed condolences to her and then told my mother what an amazing and positive impact i had in their lives. I closely watched the expression on my moms face and she was anything but pleased, as a matter of fact she looked disgusted with what these women were saying. I actually knew without question what her real feelings were about me. I can go on and on.
Lady Colin Campbell, thank you for your insights. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and you've not only survived it but you manage to look beyond the trauma for the bright spots. You're very strong and I admire you for it. I think you have to gone through it to have the developed the black humour we children of them all have.
Excellent interview. I have cut two narcissists out of my life. It ended the chaos, constant strife/drama, control, lies, etc. Empaths are sitting ducks for a narcissist to attach themselves to. If you are an empath quit the relationship immediately if you suspect narcissism in the other person. Flee, run in the opposite direction!
How to stop being an empath
Thank you so much Lady C. My mother was a Narcissist. I never knew how to handle her. I never knew why she acted the way she did toward me. Now, I understand. There was constant drama and chaos. Now, I finally understand, it wasn't me after all. It was her! God bless you Lady C. I love and appreciate you and this video so much!!!! Thank you!
I have two sisters with narcassisim and my mom had narcissism too. She just passed last week at 86. My two sisters are something else. You just have to stay away. Go "no contact" or have very very limited contact and don't let them get you riled up.
Same for me. Mine is still alive. I went no contact when all 3 mobbed me. It was violent and terrifying. They never stop trying to destroy you. She uses the sisters as proxy abusers now.
Similar here. Mother passed, and sister a covert Narc, who triangulates with my adult daughter. Evil to the core.
Now I understand fully Lady Colins insight into Meghan Markle, and have gained even greater respect for her and everything she has gone through in her life and shared it all.
I love, love your laugh and really enjoy these shows--you really bring on handsome, intelligent and well-mannered men.
Could listen to Lady C all day, very well educated and knowledgeable 👏👏👏
Surviving being the operative word.! Poor people don’t often get the chance to thrive ,just survive. Yet M wants to “thrive” after destroying everything she comes into contact with.🧐🇦🇺
Absolutely wonderful! I was 58 years old and only then discovered what had been going on all my life. Unfortunately my siblings found it very difficult to give up the illusion. Just too painful I think. And now, 14 years later, and 9 years after her death, they still talk of her and her wonderful charm and charisma. This is what they cling to. I find it hurtful I must admit.
O
Lady C, that was really interesting. I know it must've been difficult to rehash all the toxic behavior and incidents that occurred with your mother, so I appreciate your taking the time and considerable effort to discuss this topic with us. ♥️
I disagree with the talk about beauty. Your character is what makes you stand out from the rest which makes you beautiful. You are an example of that. ;)
Having a narcissistic mother, and now my adult daughter, has made me sad, mad and empty. Thank God my husband and adopted son have helped me through it. And yes, happy to see you recommending therapy. It is most effective in banishing the guilt and abuse the narcissist lays on you.
Dear Lady C, I am reading your book as we speak, I am at page number 410. I ordered it last week and for days I have been crying. It is so helpful to actually read the details and feelings. So many similarities. I have suffered from my mother my whole life and she has also made my other siblings into narcissists which makes me stand alone.
I want to thank you for this book and what a strong woman you are. If I had the chance to meet the queen or you I would like to meet you twice. I just adore you!
Lots of love from the Netherlands.
Dealing with narcissists ought to be compulsory education
Oh Lady C, I am so sorry you had such an aweful childhood. I can relate as I had the same mother and family of social standing. As it turns out, it made you more of a human instead of a conceited spoiled rich kid. You became aware of the importance of being kind and respectful of other humans. I had the same realization as you did, saying I never wanted to be like her.
So true!
Me too.
Brilliant! My Mother is also a Narcissist. She always had an "Enemy" that would rotate from time to time. I recall once someone complimented me on something I had baked and my Mother went ballistic and stormed, "I am the one who taught her to bake."
@@charlenesepulveda4855 my mother once applied for my job. It was a position of great responsibility reporting directly to the prime minister in a field she was not qualified for. She was so incensed she tried to have me sacked and smeared my reputation by saying i was abusing her. I used to say she should be banned from using a telephone! Narcissists are very scary people who can and will destroy your life if they can. After all her above doings, my mother had some friends whose son bought a brothel license and my mother put it about that i had worked as a prostitute and actually tried to put pressure on me to work in their establishment. Another time she wanted me to commit suicide. I think it is really important that people realise just how dangerous a wealthy and educated narc can be if they are inclined. I did all the therapy like lady c but it still crops up from time to time.
Miranda Austin
I am so sorry to hear your very sad stories. It’s so hard to live with, and therapy really helps. It does crop up now and then unfortunately.
My heart goes out to you. ❤️
I would love a book with all of our stories that could help others, especially kids , to know that they aren’t alone. And that it’s not their fault. Also if your mother doesn’t love you, it’s her fault- not yours. I recently could put a name (narcissist) to the crazy chaos I experienced. That was the first step to feeling better. Take care.
I am becoming quite the fan of Lady C!! Happy Saturday!
Thank you for saying "Narcissist's set up the situation where you have to choose between them or yourself."💡 Narcissist's always triangulate you with someone else in general.
Congratulations to Misha for producing this, as it turns out, important interview that can help people go forward through the pain from narcissistic experiences toward their most authentic selves and lives. Misha added to Lady C’s book and their family experience by extending the timeline and pervasiveness of the narcissism experience to the degree of occurrence in daily life and to everyday people of the present time. This shows how classic and timeless this book actually is. No matter the subject with Misha and Lady C, the content is a masterclass in decorum, manners, being polite, a show of respect, having dignity and love toward others and a fine example of truth and authenticity. Misha brings talent, hard work, artistry and seriously thoughtful intellect to the table. I really appreciate your work.
As a survivor, I thank you for this. We need to expose NPD worldwide, asap. We need a " mee too " movement to alert children who are trapped and helpless in narc families.
Misha you're so lucky to have a lovely mother who is a fountain of knowledge. Love you mucho 😍
The joy Lady C gets from her dogge Mickey is infectious.
In my experience the only thing that stops a narcisist is ridicule, sarcasm as ways of exposing their excesses. The thing they fear the most is to be seen as crazy. They freeze when they are ridiculed. Anyway, there is no cure, this is only a survival kit. The only thing possible with a narcisist is to run away and never let them know your contact details.
Omg Lady C, I too refused to see my mother for 20 years
Lady C, sounds so much like my life with my late mother... I cut ties with her for 20 over years.. It saved my sanity. God bless.
I am a South African. I loved the late Queen Elizabeth and watch everything I can about her. I have read a few comments about Meghan and Harry, but now ignore them because the presentations are of poor content. By accident I came across one of your presentations and watched it. I must admit I was instantly hooked. My son, 32 yrs old sits with me when he's not working. Now he is hooked, which is a complement because he does not watch anything in the social scene. He adores Micky and Aurora - he adores animals. He absolutely admires and respects you in the same way I do. You are interesting, educated, you have great people skills, you have a healthy naughty side, you are well spoken. Your presentations are well researched. You are respectful although you are straight to the point. We love your laugh. Thank you for this great explanation of narcisists. My husband died in 1995, my son was 5 yrs old. After watching this he suddenly said - I was 5 yrs old but if I am correct, that is what my father was. Obviously he was right. Thank you once again. All the best to you and your two wonderful sons.
Hello Lady C and Misha. Lovely to see another video. Enjoy them very much.
Thank you for this talk. I am convinced that malignant narcissists are the most toxic people one can encounter.
Misha has clear, pure, analytical thinking just like you Lady C. He is correct that we are not a nice society in many ways and he feels it. He is sensitive. In my opinion, it is important to have a higher power and to understand the history of our world and to understand people and their behavior, as you often mention. Children need to be raised and educated with some toughness to weather the difficulties in life. It can be taught gradually and by the example of the adult role models in their life. Grown children may complain about their lives and they may have had a very nice life. It was their life to make it as they want. I like how Lady Colin said that we need a life of proportion which we call balance in our lives. You are a survivor, Lady C and I am so impressed with your communication with your son. You are so honest and loving. 🌷🌻🐞
Very interesting and informative video. I just wonder how the monarchy is going to get rid of Meghan, the narcissist. They've got a truly terrible situation on their hands. Harry is even more tragic.
coashddjj2 As Lady C pointed out this is a subject that is only becoming “mainstream “ recently as in the last couple of years, but it is also astonishing to see it play out so clearly in the public arena with regards to Prince Harry, it’s almost Shakespearean to witness the day by day deterioration of his personality, I hope for the sake of their child there is a solution.
I'm here from the future. It's only gotten worse.
Wow you describe my mother exactly. It lead to most of my life living in confusion. She did a lot of damage. Sadly a good therapist is hard to find. Thankfully I'm learning so much through youtube resources now. Finally certain things make sense. Thank you so much for this video Lady C and Misha. Xxx
That was a most interesting listen. Lady C truly hit the nail on the head on a few occasions there for me. I’ve been surrounded by the narc all my life & her son makes a true comment that as a society we are among them on a daily basis. I thoroughly enjoyed that and now don’t carry the guilt for dropping a few family members from my life. Many thanks & keep this quality work going. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who is benefiting from the wise words of this gracious lady & her lovely son.
Being told that one is a beauty but will never be as lovely as her, to have a good singing voice but be told not as good as hers, to ask one's Father for a pair of shoes and one's Mother says you only got him to agree because I had asked him first. To have been hit by one's brother and told it was your fault for bothering him. I found a get well card written by my 6 year old self saying "I will try to be good Mummy." When one was 15 to be cursed by one's Mother that she wished one's own children will cause one's heart to break. Was she a narcissist? I do not know. I only know that I asked to see a psychiatrist when I was 29 and the diagnosis was that I had been suffering depression from the age of 3. Her remedy for me apart from anti depressants was that whenever I found my depression deepening was to remove myself from the person creating the cause. At her funeral I said I am sorry I was not the daughter you wanted.
Big hug 🤗
@@AgentFascinateur Thank you.
@@christinabacon7412 ❤
Oh god Christina, how awful! You should have said: "Mum, I'm sorry you FELT I was not the daughter you wanted." None of it was you - it was all her. You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to be forgiven for. I hope you find mental health, self esteem and inner peace.
@@jdee4956 I always believe it's not the victims who need fixing, but the ones unable to love, be kind and leave others be. Sure, a good ear helps. But we should go at the deficient ones first.
I agree with Misha. Narcissism should be renamed. The standard definition could apply to just about anybody today. Does anyone else believe that a garden variety narcissist could be a psychopath or sociopath in disguise? P.S. Happy birthday Georgie! You are one week younger than me (10th)!! Adore Mickey Luv...who knows where the camera is and looks straight into the lens at your viewers. She is astute and magical.
ALLLL Covert, Malignant Narcissists ARE PSYCHOPATHS!!!
+Q-S/
Lady Colin Campbell, it's wonderful that your so open in sharing your experiences.
I agree with Misha. It's a normal day. His generation has a lot of people playing victim. A lot of entitlist walking around taking demanding what isn't theirs.
In my opinion it can't be stressed enough to seek therapy. Leaving or backing away from a narcissistic relationship can leave such confusion and doubt.
Often, one can be in physical danger from a narcissist, if the narcissist isn't ready to release you and move on. They count on the power they hold.
Your son is totally spot on , Narcissism is rampant . Narcissism is at an epidemic level now .
I didn’t realise what a lovely, thoughtful and charming person Lady C is until I started watching the interviews. A very genuine and generous person, makes me think a little more about myself and trying to be my best self.
I had a Great Aunt who never married. I spent most weekends growing up at her home.
Lady C brought me back to those times immediately.
She is proper, wise, and elegant just like my Aunt Mary.
Her laugh is utterly perfect. I miss it daily.
What a knowledgeable woman.
Family disputes over property will always be an ongoing issue.
U're so wise dear lady C
Narcissist want full control of u, or of a situation ,
They abuse to get the upper hand..
They lie to get what they want
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
You look particularly lovely today. The color of your dress and jewelry really compliment you. 👍
Wow!!..Lady CC you just described my mother to a tee!!...she was an absolute nightmare!!..she did all the things you describe creating arguments and drama and she was severely jealous of anyone who was pretty, clever or admired. I couldn't fathom it when I was young it was very confusing and still couldn't when I was a teenager. All I knew was I had to get away from her which I did eventually. She was a monster. The whole family suffered because of her. Thank you for your insight Lady C...I shall be buying your book it's already on my wish list with Amazon...👋👏💕
Thank you Lady C for enlightening us.
Also, thanks to Meghan for making people become more aware of Narcissists and Narcissistic nature. 😅
Misha is very warm and loving towards his mother. He also has a great sense of humour. Dima seems more distant and aristocratically cool. 😉
My mother is a narcissist. Everything you said is familiar. It is impossible to speak about one’s experience with a narcissist parent without the pain surfacing. Yes, “there is life after ...” but they do leave scars.
Amazing. I have read a lot on the subject because I had a narcissistic parent...eveyrone is a cardboard cut out to them. With a narcissist you do not exist.
Lady C thank you for being so frank about your experiences with your narcissistic mother. It's such a tragic thing that 'they' spend their life sucking the life out of everyone close to them. Your mother & mine must have come from the same mould. When I became aware enough to catch on to the fact that the 'stranger' who was my mother would never change, would never magically morph into a real person, a loving supportive mother I became a self reliant & a bit selfish, I was only a teenager so I didn't have a clue about life, how to live in the world, how to interact with people, I didn't even know what a genuine person was. Most of my teen years was spent 'holding my breath' & telling myself that 'it' can't last forever.
Many people these days have narcissistic traits, but until you meet a real narcissist you cannot believe the extreme. As Lady C says.
My husband lost his son to his former partner's narcissistic family. He's a teenager and we are grieving for him as if he's died because we will never see him again.
Narcissists don't just hurt people to get ahead. They actively seek to hurt people even if it costs them dearly. They are chillingly horrid.
You can see that when they have created hell and hurting people they get a huge satisfaction and as soon as it happens you can see the satisfaction on their face. Their goal is destroying mentality, physically.and financially. Run run and run.
Lady C, I’m so sorry you had to grow up like that. I had a narcissist step father but thankfully I had a wonderful mom and grandmother who helped me navigate life.
I work with a narcissist, she is absolutely unbearable. Thank you Lady C for confirming my suspicions about her. What I cannot understand is how people continue to be fooled by narcissists even after they have shown their true colours.
Lady C, I’m relieved you are able to clarify this for your son, as I wish I had for my own grown daughter, who has perfected and emulates my mom’s manipulative skills. Breaks my heart.