Elle here, thank you so much for watching this video! I had a lot of fun drawing in the original Psych 2 Go style, and I'm really glad to see that so many of you are happy to have it back! (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+
The saddest part is when we tell our parents about our mental health they just ignore it by saying 'focus on your studies, these feelings will vanish by time.'
I feel bad for you. Thank god I was blessed with a phycologist as a mother whose job is to literally understand these fellings. I hope you the best, and look take the advice from me, if there is one person that you want to talk to this about tell your school couneler cuz it’s their job to help you Regards
Really? My parents doesn't even acknowledge the part of mental health 🫠 when I told my mom that my mental health is very bad according to my test and it is one of poor health in our class she just laughed saying " wow your mental health is poor? Oh that unless..... leave that " . Like what I will leave???
@@Taekooks_daughter try being more straightforward and telling your mum how you feel. Because she will think that the test is just another “school thing”, cuz she is ur mum🙂. Regards
@@zaydelmasri6968 it'll just cause me trouble. They'll blame me saying why didn't you tell us before 😃 and when I'll finally tell them the "things" they'll just yell at me
I suffer from all 6 listed, and due to being treated with too much freedom after the abusive figure was out of life, I dived straight into a downward spiral which I'm still trying to climb out of. If anyone can relate, please, do all of us a favor and like this so we all have a reminder that we are not alone.
Forgive them internally then forgive yourself. Understand that you are now your own parent. Create an order for yourself and also give yourself praise for your accomplishments. Remove the blame action from you arsenal because it's a waste of energy with no real solution. Refer to your childhood rearing not as a victim but as an observer with your new, ever growing understanding. Comfort child you and affirm positive reason that benefits you.
May I ask what this downward spiral looked like for you? Personally I consider to be a few years away from the strictness and closer to this sense of freedom and just want to be prepared for what it may mean for me mentally and maybe learn from other people's mistakes before making them myself.
@@asdffdsa898 That's unnecessary to forgive the people who are put you going through the hell with unnecessary reasons. I hope you didn't taste the medicine as we did. You'll regret and taken aback for every words you give others to read.
@@PearlRose0405 The forgiveness is for yourself because resentment clouds your mind. Forgiving them takes you out of the past and allows yours positive articulation of the present and future. You are the child of your parents...they are in you... resentment to them will potentially create shame/guilt/resentment in yourself.
@@asdffdsa898 Forgive yourself and accept that you are a victim who can't find justice are important things to do. I advise you, don't fall into the trap and don't trust easily because snakes disguise themselves as an angel send by God. Be careful. Actually, I didn't feel shame, guilt or something but full of rage and frustration after what they did.
Having grown up with controlling parents, I find that I value independence above anything else. When I'm around others, so often I tend to feel like they want my energy, my focus, my listening and caring - but don't give back in kind. I often wonder if this is because, growing up with controlling parents, my needs and feelings weren't really a priority or part of the family decision-making process. "You need to do what we expect of you -- and we expect you to subvert your needs to please us."
i actually feel the same way! i find myself not knowing how to be there for someone sometimes or don’t know what to say even if i so genuinely care about what someone is going through. i was always used to zoning out when my parents gave their hour long lessons and that now results in me zoning out when ppl are talking even if i didn’t want to zone out. i definitely think it might have to do something with that
I feel criticized everyday My parents don't let me go outside and to sleepovers I feel better at school I'm feel Mentally abused Another effect i have from strict parenting is the lack of sanity i tend to go insane sometimes
Same, that's why I want to move out when i am 16 with my cousin because I already know how to survive without somebody dragging me down with everything I say or do
My parents aren’t as strict as some people, but I can relate to all of these points so I may be wrong. A conversation I had a few days with my mom, “did you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “What deodorant did you put on?” “The one in the medicine cabinet.” “Are you sure you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “I think you’re lying.” One thing I’ve noticed about myself recently is that I don’t really know who I am or what I like. I act differently around different people, and my “me” is usually just an aspect of myself bouncing off the vibes of those around me. I can’t even figure out how I feel now. I write something, I stop and think, and then I realize that what I just said doesn’t feel right. Edit: I was lying about the deodorant. I just felt like I was being interrogated over something so small. It hurt a little bit.
I feel the exact same way! The second paragraph sounds a lot like codependency (coming from someone who also recently discovered they're codependent), so I highly recommend doing some research on that topic and see if it fits.
I don’t think I’ve related to comment as much as I do now. Like the deodorant thing happens very often to me to the point where I become self conscious about everything
I match these signs very well. My parents are strict. I didn't say were, I said are. And before you say they are probably strict and loving, I accidentally mentioned stress and family members in the same sentence, and within a second my dad was pinning me to a corner by my shirt collar, almost choking me. The ADHD doesn't help (I've been diagnosed, but my parents believe it went away, despite all logic. It's a similar story with depression, except I was never diagnosed. It's been a long 5 weeks. And it definitely doesn't help that I lost someone a week ago. I can't just leave, either. I have no resources, no close friends, nowhere to run. It feels like I'm stuck, biding my time until something eventful happens.
I am going through a similar situation, and I want you to remind yourself like I do, it's only temporary and when it's the right time you will get out of this, it may not seem like it now, but trust me I am still waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, too 🙂
My father was an authoritarian , I developed the following that I have worked on and discovered the wrinkles that needed ironing out of myself. -black and white thinking. -alcohol addiction , I use to binge drink to soothe my emotions and escape reality. -inability to set boundaries for myself and how others treated me ,resulting in extreme behaviour and suffering in silence. -great achievements by looking after my career and excelling, while not looking after myself and health. Being raised by an authoritarian parent is a blessing and a curse , I encourage everyone to learn about yourself,your curses and work on ironing out the wrinkles that this upbringing caused you . Best wishes to all ❤🙏🏻
✨ Timestamps & Titles ✨ 0:38 The Inner Critic 1:32 The Bad Person 2:17 The Art of Lying 3:01 The Rules 3:50 The Rebel 4:30 The Sadness Remember that being a very strict parent does not mean they have bad intent. Some do, but some really love you and think it's the best course of action. I know not everyone grew up with the same loving parents as I did, but, remember that there are people who love you and care for you.
My dad was extremely overprotective and critical whereas my mom was overprotective and enabling. It caused me to sneak out, go through terrifying situations that I’m honestly surprised I survived through, and it caused intense mental illness (I was diagnosed with borderline at 17 and other mood disorders at 12). Since going into therapy, my therapist involved my parents in it sometimes and my parents realized they messed up and have since tried fixing their style. I’ve moved out, but my parents were able to find a great way to give me independence while keeping me safe at the same time. My parents just worried way too much, and because of that, it caused them to say and do things that were not okay, but it was not their intention to hurt me.
I can relate to every single one and once I leave the house I feel like a bird being set free from its cage! What hurts the most is I live with relatives and they treat me like shit, they’re way of showing “love” is so aggressive. :(
I only just read this one I feel like I'm reading my life because yours is on point to mine I don't think my mom has ever told me she loves me that often
As someone who is still fairly new too parenting, I love watching these types of videos from you to help remind me of certain perspectives like this one. As someone who had parents so strict I still get anxious to ask about things because I just know I'm getting told no, I have to keep on myself not to pass that onto my daughter
Well what's in them is in you. It would be best to try to find compassion for them so that you can understand the lessons they are attempting to instill into you the only way they know how. If you believe your parents suck inevitably part of you believes you suck and that isn't true. Forgive them, forgive yourself. Affirm yourself, affirm them. Become the change that you desire in them with love absolute.
Go no contact with your parents. They can give you hard times, so why not you return the favor? They said they are powerful enough and always right to do something so they can figure it out by themselves. Well, I advise you don't forgive easily to the people who enjoy your suffering and return to them or it seems you can't change to be the best version of yourself. I know it's hard and struggle at the beginning but it is necessary for the sake od your inner peace. I speak based on experience. They robbed my childhood, teen and try to make me to be a slave to serve them in my adulthood. They impressed when you didn't ran away from them but they're mad when you're in trouble. I advise you leave them for your goods.
My story is that growing up I always had help available with projects, be it school or other things. As the years passed I realized that the ‘help’ I had with my projects where more: “do it this way and you’ll get a good result” except I wanted to try things a little differently by using my own ideas to learn what did and didn’t work and why. When I tried to incorporate them into my projects then, according to my mother, her ideas were always better, she was never wrong, and because she was older she had the final say. I’m glad to have finally moved out for that reason (among others) but even now she still tries to ‘help’ even if I don’t ask for it. She can ‘help’ by letting me learn how to handle things on my own, because now I’m behind on experiencing how to make and go through with my own decisions.
I remember we had to do a family tree poster in middle school. We were drawing our relatives on the poster. Crude drawings, nothjng soecial. Mine looked pretty much like everyone else’s My mom didn’t like that. She nitpicked everything I drew. No nose? She made me redraw it.
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
I was raised in a semi strict home- 26 now and I'm definitely very sneaky... I am also abit of a perfectionist in things I DO choose to do, sometimes to the point it takes me awhile to get it done. Also several times growing up where I felt like anything I did just 'wasn't good enough'. I don't think it came from a bad place at all, my parents were just basing things off how they were raised and truly thought it was the right thing.
I feel similar because my parents were strict when it came to things I actually wanted to do. Didn't matter what it was either, they just came up with some bullshit excuse for why I couldn't do it. I kept reminding myself that no other normal person my age has to deal with this crap. They were also super strict about food for some reason, and the fact that I was homeschooled and couldn't leave it didn't help either. My mom made most of the rules, and the house she was raised in was *apparently* much stricter than what I have. The result of that is that she's still very strict but thinks she isn't because her perception of a strict house was actually an extra strict house. Im 17 and become an adult soon. Im just waiting to become an adult so I can move several states away and start living my life
Boy can I relate, especially the bad person part. My father was a strict, no nonsense, fundamental Baptist. He would tell me I was a bad person on a near daily basis. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he always conjured up new and unobtainable standards on a whim with the excuse that God told him to. I hear that inner critic in my head every single day of my life and it sounds just like him.
For a lot of my life, I felt distant from my parents and siblings. Even at the times, I would get extremely angry at them for the simplest things like smacking, messing/pranking me, or just not listening to me. This has all combined into me feeling depressed all the time, it has even caused me to fall behind on my school work, and it has made me feel like I'm in a dark void unable to escape. And my parents would just like it to be something dealing with mental like ADD or some else. I now know that is not sick but I just dealing with habits that I have.
I'm still feeling the heartache of all six signs. 20 years later. While I am fortunate to have therapy and medications, there are days where it likes to give me a huge kick in my back. Reminding me that it's still there. As much as I'd like to say "You can do this. Hang in there.", I know it's not that simple. Because I wanted to give up too many times. On what? Well too many things to list. But what I can say is this: Being rebellious helped me to seek help.
Mom was extremely paranoid about the pop culture we consumed. Anything that didn't get her stamp of approval was evil and bad and stupid and we were supposed to think ourselves above such horrid forms of entertainment. She created so many forbidden fruits that as soon as I was able, I watched as many violent movies as I could, the bloodier the better. During my college years, I'd feel like I was "rebelling" whenever I watched an R-rated movie even though I logically knew I was an adult and I could watch whatever I wanted.
I've noticed codependency in myself. personally, my parents were very extreme with expectations and would drop you like a hot potato and leave you just to float around if you didn't live up to them. Now I'm 26, single, barely have a social life, and don't really know or care what I do with my life. Wich is both, stressful and awkwardly freeing.
I also feel identified with all of this. I never felt a video could describe me as this one does, but despite all of the comments saying or complaining about their parents, i try to understand them and the reason why they took this decision of raise me this way. My parents didn't have half they gave me, so they think i must reach higher goals, expectations or marks than they did with the few things they had. So now, everytime my mom try to make me feel bad about something i don't fight, i know she is old and it will be to hard to change her mind, so i try to explain that sometimes i have to take my own risks and confront the consecuences of it and don't take anything personal. I know she does because she loves me, not because she want me to live in pain, so i understand she is trying to do her best, but yes, she made some harm on my mental health but it wasn't the intention, she was loving me her way. So i don't accept that, but i understand her and so i love her.
It's terrifying how much I relate to this... And it is even more terrifying to think of the strict parents thought process. How does it work, in fact, how do abusers even think? Eh, just a shower thought.
My mom has always been toxic to the point I don't care what she say or does to me anymore it can't be any worse than the scars I already have my advice is if your going through the ditch your parents you may love them but it never changes
The key to parenting is consistency. The rules can't change day by day. Strict but also loose. Define the rules clearly and stick to them. Make exceptions in some cases. Give the kids choices. Let them pick between 2 or 3 things for dinner. Give them chores and rewards for completing them. Raising kids is easy peasy if you're consistent. They basically raise themselves if you do it right.
Oh gosh, growing up religious, and not even fundamentalist, but with arbitrary rules like going to church on Sunday no matter the cost, or only listening to religious music even though yoiu hate it, or being stranded when my car broke down and my parents wouldn't come pick me up because they had to teach Sunday school. That's just a few examples, but it took therapy for me to find out my parents skewered interpretation of the Bible gave me a laundry list of problems I took into my adult life. I've only really learned to love and accept myself in the past five years after religion told me to hate myself.
When I was itty bitty, my mom didnt realize I had ASD and ADHD. She just thought I was super smart, but also intentionally ignoring her instructions. She thought I was being a bad kid [and granted, I was her first kid, and she was in her 20s] so I was brought up with a mindset of "If I don't get a good grade, I'm stupid and a failure...". And I would learn the art of sneaking snacks at midnight so as to avoid immediate reprimand and a 'no'. Also, as a result of witnessing and participating in many arguments, I will try to prevent conflict at all costs. Once she learned more on my ASD and ADHD, and how she had affected me, she changed her understanding. She started off unawaredly authoritarian, but then shifted towards authoritative. So now we are all good, but that stuff from back then still impacts me - my inner critic hasnt left, they're just reading a series of novels until my next mess up
Ah, gotta love being early to a video. I know lots have struggled with thsi, and those at a young age. You are doing a great job, to show the struggles of everyone and representing them through these videos. Keep up the great work!
There are times where I want to apologize to my childhood self. I deserved to be around better people and a better environment. These things unfortunately carry on.
I got a lot of this. I was constantly criticized for things due to my blindness and autism. I wasn’t allowed to make messes, make mistakes without being criticized. I wasn’t allowed to stim or do things that were beneficial to my blindness or autism. If I ran into things, I’d either get laughed at or judged for not watching where I was going. I wasn’t allowed to show emotions, or if I didn’t communicate what was wrong, I’d still get crap for it. Now I limit myself from making mistakes, I limit myself from being my true self, I limit myself from showing any emotions that aren’t linked to happiness.
@Siennaprice1351 Hi my name is Chaleika & I am 22 but going on 23 like pretty much almost like in the next five months right until now which is actually going to be on the 9th of August. And plus I can also relate to you too about the whole fact that I was actually born with " high functioning autism" too. My mom would not allow me to go outside for a sleepover at a friend's house. I often do feel like I am physically, verbally & mentally abuse by my mom just literally because I was not allowed to make messes, with mistakes too without being very ridiculous teased & even criticized by anyone. For how I would react when it comes to those types of difficult situations, I would either get laughed at or even judged like that does involves of actually getting told about the whole fact that I do walk very weird in a very negative way & as well with the baby supplies that I do actually purchase at the store sometimes, I still get treated like a piece of crap for that too. And my mom would most likely treat my two siblings a lot nicer than me & plus I am actually the middle born a full grown adult child too indeed. I was not allowed to express my emotions in a very healthy way for what on every single human beings is actually supposed to do indeed. I do take a bit of time to limit myself to gain some freedom & as well by making mistakes too like in the long run. And I also do limit of being my true self from showing any type of emotions that are not linked of the joy of happiness. Thank you very much for sharing this amazing comment & very well said my friend. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Great content here! My parents definitely chose obedience over communication, however credibility was lacking. Their validation seeking greatly influenced alignments ! Having answers to questions no one is asking is nauseating!
Another one is giving up easily. As I've gotten older its gotten to the point that when there's a challenge such as explaining yourself it's better to just give up than attempt to explain. It feels better to just shut up and do what you're told and have something to follow. Especially when something feels overwhelming you just procrastinate and result to give up.
I always told my friends that my parents have always been what I call "weirdly strict" as they never were as bad as some of my friends but still made my upbringing a nightmare. My friends never understood what I meant by this but this video finally gives me closure. For context: my parents were the type that pretty much encouraged me in high school to party and drink but would crucify me if I so much as disagreed with what they wanted "for me" and still are to this day as a soon to be 23 year old who is out of the house
2:17 in my mom's case, she'd act as if it have to be impossible for her to be guilty of anything. That if it looks like she did something wrong, then there *must* be something else that're the actual cause instead. OR, that a guilty verdict should be a crime, in of itself.
No privacy and having your room search and taking your bedroom door away. Be grounded for two to three months for something you didn’t do. Being blamed for everything going wrong. Being forced to sing nursery rhymes and watch baby shows I like Barney and Sesame Street and Care Bears. Being forced to read books about being selfish and whining, losing your temper. Because forced to write lines of a dictionary. Having every thing taken away. This what I went through growing up in strict household with military parents.
I resonate with 1.2,3 and 6 the most. I'm not interested in anything anymore, I've never went over to any friends house my whole life, I kept transferring schools, my resulted in me being very introverted, and quiet. I was not allowed to talk to others to the point I preferred not to, but now that I'm in highschool, I'm struggling because i cannot go on without interacting, and I've realized how much it affected me. I'm a very plain person, with no interest to anything at this point. a clean slate, idk if that's a good thing.
My grandma literally said I’m not allowed to have a summer because I’m an adult. It’s so soul crushing cause I need the break. I hate her. Sorry I needed to vent
I am watching your channel for a few years now and I like the style videos from you. :) I´m no professional, but I´d like to share my thought. In my opinion the opposite parenting style, to much "freedom" (no rules) can lead to a feeling of being abandoned/not cared for/not being loved enough/needs not met/etc... in various sections of your life. Of course depending on if you´re a toddler, a teenager or a young adult, your needs shift. I hope I don´t trigger somebody with my comment. :)
That’s why it’s important to have a balance of the two. Which it’s really hard to gauge tbh. One needs to know how to discipline the kids, but they cannot go overboard to the point of being mental. One also needs to know when to give the kids space, but also know when to reel them in. But there will be times where parents make mistakes cause they too are human, but one thing that matters is how they view their mistakes afterwards. My mother never apologised for accusing her kids of things they didn’t do if she herself was proven wrong. She never ever admits she’s in the wrong when it’s clear she’s in the wrong. Ironic given she taught us to own up to mistakes. My dad meanwhile tries to listen, even if his brain works on pure logic and almost zero empathy, no regard for other people despite being a father. He gets it but at the same time doesn’t. Likely because he’s operating more on “my kids are saying something but still I’m right because I’m the adult” even if his kids are all legal adults. Both are the results of strict parenting. Don’t even need a study to tell me about how strict parenting messes up kids into these traumatised manchild and womanchild attempting to raise children into “proper adults”.
My partner has a very leniant father, which I mean we are teens, but it'd still be nice to actually see them interact with eachother. They dont talk at dinner unless it's to their girlfriend, my partner asks for permission and all, but they never really sit down and talk. I never see them sit down and play a game, or indulge in hobby together. My partner's dad's girlfriend and I could talk about plants and the boys, no problem; but I dont really see them spend time together. I guess you could say I like quality time, and so does my partner, so I just wish that him and his dad would spend some time together. Sorry for ranting - it's just your post made me think of this
@@littysavior9181 you don´t need to apolozige. I understand you. I too enjoy quality over quantity time so to speak. My parents though they can´t see me often enough but they respect my need for privacy and me-time. For that I am glad but I also do things like playing (cards, cardboardgames), having dinner, etc with them. So there is my quality time together. :) I hope your wish comes true. :)
Holy shit! #4 the rules makes so much sense on why I couldn't fit in as my parents were EXTREMELY strict to me and to follow "the rules" so much so that other kids found me to much of a square and I struggled to associate with them, same with parties, I just don't know what to do, same with big groups, I keep quiet and out of the way as my parents wanted.
I can’t be sure if it’s due to strict parenting but with my parent I feel unable to do anything without their input. Moreover anything they say I will do so without question as long as I can.
The number 4 hits so hard. I've got such a hard time to socialize or do anything without some kind of routine or rules. It think that, because of the autonomy they give me at work, it got better, but it's still hard, I get lost sometimes. And I just can't have confidence in myself without feeling cocky.
My mom was a bit strict about me hanging out with kids outside of school. My dad was a little more lenient tho. But hey at the end of senior year I made it count with hanging out with friends i had before covid hit. Just did some end of year activities for senior year. Which the memories will always stay with me! Its sad in a way, but pretty cathartic and beautiful as well! But the interesting thing is that every girl I was attracted to in school, which was a good few, all pretty much moved on. Never felt confident about asking them out in the past.
I’ve have the worst parents that treat me like shit and don’t let me do anything and I’m always sneaking out and smoking and drinking. And I have friends with hood parents that let them do whatever and they never smoke or drank so that’s a perfect example of being too strict. Strict parents raise sneaky kids.
To answer the question, another result of strict parenting is always eating everything on your plate, overeating and internalizing the sorrow of wastefulness.
It has been a hot minute since I've seen this style of animation! It's neither here nor there for me; I enjoy watching these videos no matter what! In any case, its situations like these that make me remember how grateful I am for my stepdad and my mom. While my father wasn't a bad person by any means, he was never there for us ever since he returned from deployment. He's someone who was never able to defeat his inner demons, and it destroyed him. Nowadays I don't even KNOW where he is. Sigh... oh well. I cannot let the past control me or define me. The side of me that cares about what others think of me and me caring about how I act and behave around others is OVER; THAT ship has sailed! I know who I am, my limits, my capabilities, and what I like and dislike and I am HAPPY with it! :D
I have a strict mom, my parents are divorced . I know that my mom loves me, and that she would do anything for me, but she is very strict. She doesn’t let me wear stuff like tank tops and spaghetti straps, and would 100% prefer if I wore only wide leg pants. She let me get some boot cut pants, but if she was looking for pants for me, she always get the most shapeless wide leg pant. I am 13, and a little chubby. I have a twin sister( we are not identical) and she is skinny. My mom buys her the tightest flare pants and skinny jeans. She lets her wear cropped shirt that show some stomach, and spaghetti straps. There is nothing wrong with my sister being able to wear that, except that she won’t let me. She says “ you have to dress for your body type” and body shames me. I was trying to buy a swimsuit out with her, and she wanted me to get a tankini, while she got my sister a v cut bikini. I ended up convincing her to let me buy a normal swimsuit, but she said “ you can get it if you think you look okay in it, but I think you should cover up and dress for your body type. I’m not even super overweight , just a little chubby, and I’m turning 14 in January so I’m not freshly 13 either. I am very sporty and okay sports as much as possible at school, and ride horses on the weekends. I am very strong. My mom is also that of an almond mom. My mom is sometimes more strict than others, sometimes I can wear spaghetti straps in town, sometimes I can’t even wear a vest style shirt because it shows too much of my shoulder. Thank you for reading this.
Oh my...... through thia video i came to know that my sister is suffering through all of this symptoms..... I really have to show her to his video... Atleast she should know what is going on with her.... Really thankful
Found this in my recommended all of a sudden and now I just feel called out.. and have alot of crap to talk about with my parents it seems. Thanks.. I guess. I have no clue how to take this revelation.
I relate to most of these except the rebellious kind. I am more on the submissive type unless provoked to my limit. It is sad how we become our biggest enemy when we aren't raised according to our needs. :( But I am recovering and working to get the life I deserve! Thanks Psych2Go for this eye opener. ❤
The fact you try telling them what's wrong and they say stop victimising yourself. Not like they "lock me" up and barely let get out with my friends. No privacy no nothing i can't deal with it anymore.
I hate opening up to anyone really, but whenever I go through anything in life, I'd rather even turn to well known toxic people before I'd ever turn to them.
I've a question. How to get through a parent that seems to find depression 'just a joke'? The kind of parent you're not close with. The one that never think about privacy and go through your stuffs proudly. The one that disapprove your interest and then question why the child never talk about their interest to them. The one that gets mad when you're sick. The one that brush away your struggles as 'it's just a phase of life'. The one that accused and humiliated their children publicly. The one that wants people to done everything 'my way'. It's from my own experience and others who have toxic family. Is there a way to solve these issues?
i relate to this so much and it feels scary that i do 😭. the problem is, i'm the oldest child, so i'm given higher expectations. i had to learn to be independent before i was ready to and now i feel too scared to even talk to my parents cuz i'm afraid of disapproval and criticism.
I grew up with a very emotionally abusive stepfather and a mom who basically denied he was abusive and just said “it isn’t just you, it’s everyone” blah blah. I’m 31 now and just saw my therapist and he told me I’m having a mental breakdown and he attributes it to a lot of things I’ve carried with me from that experience. It follows you. And it can be scary at times, I’ve developed habits I’m actively ashamed of. Here’s to hoping I don’t carry them for much longer
A suggestion? Maybe do a video on top reasons why you are cause of your depression. Like I don’t really like the really sugar-coated content, I wanna encourage you guys to try out newer topics instead of constantly gearing the content to be just for people who don’t want to take responsibility, like make content that tells you the brutal truths, reasons why your depression is caused by you bad habits. And sometimes to anybody who is reading this, if you want to get out of your rut, try your best, and if you have addictions like drugs, overeating, and pornography I encourage you to drop these habits.
Having good parents seems privilege to me. My father is alcoholic, died early. Left with mom who is emotionally unstable... always blame me for her misfortune... Im probably better off if I was sent to an orphanage
The fact that strict parents always criticize you for everything is sad. One day my father was explaining me something, and I was silently listening to him. After a while, he asks if I am even listening to him. I say "yes. I am listening to you." And there he goes and says " I don't think so. I think I am barking in front of you". I really don't know how to explain my parents or gain my trust. They never trusted me. I wish we will be able to get out of this....take care to everyone
The weird thing about my upbringing a was that my mom actually discouraged me from things like studying. She was strict with other things, if I didnt feel exactly the same way as she did about everything, id get yelled at, if I expressed any desire to move away, id get yelled at. Basically, she expects me to be a mini her and live with her forever. But anyway, I experience all of the things in the video.
I have several friends who did not mature in life and did not get to live they're childhood because of strict parents who were afraid to show them the world or let their kids show it to themselves.
Felt like I've gone through each individual facet in list, but I can say the best thing to take away from this is not care what they really think, and is possible to have good outcome to come from all this
It hurts knowing my parents dismiss mental health by saying “you’re *mental* if you have a mental health issues” or “ stop overreacting so much! You don’t have (any mental health issues), you’re just a kid! What do you know?” I tried to get help from my school when I was still in primary and when I just had ENOUGH,I kept talking to teachers which made me feel a lot better knowing I’m telling my feelings and struggles to someone where they don’t dismiss me. But it got kind of bad to the point they had to visit my house to talk to things to my parents when I told them not to because of what they might think of me for telling them my problems,so they made up stuff saying “oh they’ll take you away from us!” It’s quite crazy of what they see on Facebook tbh 💀 because my teachers told me to go to a therapist but my parents thought that….and my dad had to go drop me off there and said “I don’t have time for this,I need to go to work,tell your teacher that you don’t wanna go or something…or just say your scared.” He then just walked off and never talked to me about it again. It’s like my parents aren’t helping me mentally and they’re isolating me from getting any help because of their concerns.
Yeah; my tell is that I cant help but laugh. So I ended up sneaking food instead and trying hide it well enough to not have to lie I even closed the cabinets quietly, tried not to make a creeeeek, and would try to make my footsteps sound like I was heading to the bathroom, or that I was getting a cup of water [and would bring it with me as to hide all suspicion]. .... I really had a midnight snack problem
i especially resonate with the first, second, and fifth one. and partially the sixth as well. although I don't think I have depression, I find myself feeling sad for no reason.
Mine were overly strict & abusive & the remaining one still condones his actions & tried to take me to court for defamation. If he tried that, I'd criminally charge him.
My old carer's never had high expectations they even said to me I might as well learn to clean BC that's all I am ever capable of but it turned out I was really good at catering but at that point they already made me do a leaning thing in college when I wanted catering and now trying to do anything that I want to do I just give up and I know I shouldn't but I know I'm stupid and I wil mess it up
My parents definitely have some of the signs on this list, but fortunately not all of them. Even when they're tough on me, I know it's because they care
Elle here, thank you so much for watching this video! I had a lot of fun drawing in the original Psych 2 Go style, and I'm really glad to see that so many of you are happy to have it back! (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+
Yes, glad to have you bring this back to life! Let's work on another project. What do you guys want to request? Comment below.
I love your art style Elle ^^
Great work👏👏👏
I like it, thanks
We love you art style Elle!
The saddest part is when we tell our parents about our mental health they just ignore it by saying 'focus on your studies, these feelings will vanish by time.'
My parents ignore my mental health too it’s almost like they think I’m pretending
I feel bad for you. Thank god I was blessed with a phycologist as a mother whose job is to literally understand these fellings. I hope you the best, and look take the advice from me, if there is one person that you want to talk to this about tell your school couneler cuz it’s their job to help you
Regards
Really? My parents doesn't even acknowledge the part of mental health 🫠 when I told my mom that my mental health is very bad according to my test and it is one of poor health in our class she just laughed saying " wow your mental health is poor? Oh that unless..... leave that " .
Like what I will leave???
@@Taekooks_daughter try being more straightforward and telling your mum how you feel. Because she will think that the test is just another “school thing”, cuz she is ur mum🙂.
Regards
@@zaydelmasri6968 it'll just cause me trouble. They'll blame me saying why didn't you tell us before 😃 and when I'll finally tell them the "things" they'll just yell at me
I suffer from all 6 listed, and due to being treated with too much freedom after the abusive figure was out of life, I dived straight into a downward spiral which I'm still trying to climb out of. If anyone can relate, please, do all of us a favor and like this so we all have a reminder that we are not alone.
Forgive them internally then forgive yourself.
Understand that you are now your own parent. Create an order for yourself and also give yourself praise for your accomplishments.
Remove the blame action from you arsenal because it's a waste of energy with no real solution.
Refer to your childhood rearing not as a victim but as an observer with your new, ever growing understanding. Comfort child you and affirm positive reason that benefits you.
May I ask what this downward spiral looked like for you?
Personally I consider to be a few years away from the strictness and closer to this sense of freedom and just want to be prepared for what it may mean for me mentally and maybe learn from other people's mistakes before making them myself.
@@asdffdsa898 That's unnecessary to forgive the people who are put you going through the hell with unnecessary reasons.
I hope you didn't taste the medicine as we did. You'll regret and taken aback for every words you give others to read.
@@PearlRose0405 The forgiveness is for yourself because resentment clouds your mind.
Forgiving them takes you out of the past and allows yours positive articulation of the present and future.
You are the child of your parents...they are in you... resentment to them will potentially create shame/guilt/resentment in yourself.
@@asdffdsa898 Forgive yourself and accept that you are a victim who can't find justice are important things to do.
I advise you, don't fall into the trap and don't trust easily because snakes disguise themselves as an angel send by God. Be careful.
Actually, I didn't feel shame, guilt or something but full of rage and frustration after what they did.
Who else is happy that she brought back the OC version?! It's my favorite style from her in my opinion.
Yes, we will do more work like this style in the future for you. If you like we can make more like this.
@@Psych2go aww thanks for replying back.
Having grown up with controlling parents, I find that I value independence above anything else. When I'm around others, so often I tend to feel like they want my energy, my focus, my listening and caring - but don't give back in kind. I often wonder if this is because, growing up with controlling parents, my needs and feelings weren't really a priority or part of the family decision-making process. "You need to do what we expect of you -- and we expect you to subvert your needs to please us."
i actually feel the same way! i find myself not knowing how to be there for someone sometimes or don’t know what to say even if i so genuinely care about what someone is going through. i was always used to zoning out when my parents gave their hour long lessons and that now results in me zoning out when ppl are talking even if i didn’t want to zone out. i definitely think it might have to do something with that
I feel criticized everyday
My parents don't let me go outside and to sleepovers
I feel better at school
I'm feel Mentally abused
Another effect i have from strict parenting is the lack of sanity i tend to go insane sometimes
OMFG I FEEL YOU, I FOUND SOMEONE JUST LIKE ME!!! 😭
Same, that's why I want to move out when i am 16 with my cousin because I already know how to survive without somebody dragging me down with everything I say or do
FRRRR
I feel like a puppet
@@skep_curi I relate far too much but i hope your situation gets better!
My parents aren’t as strict as some people, but I can relate to all of these points so I may be wrong. A conversation I had a few days with my mom, “did you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “What deodorant did you put on?” “The one in the medicine cabinet.” “Are you sure you put deodorant on?” “Yes.” “I think you’re lying.”
One thing I’ve noticed about myself recently is that I don’t really know who I am or what I like. I act differently around different people, and my “me” is usually just an aspect of myself bouncing off the vibes of those around me. I can’t even figure out how I feel now. I write something, I stop and think, and then I realize that what I just said doesn’t feel right.
Edit: I was lying about the deodorant. I just felt like I was being interrogated over something so small. It hurt a little bit.
I feel the exact same way! The second paragraph sounds a lot like codependency (coming from someone who also recently discovered they're codependent), so I highly recommend doing some research on that topic and see if it fits.
I don’t think I’ve related to comment as much as I do now. Like the deodorant thing happens very often to me to the point where I become self conscious about everything
"you stink" "disgusting" "did you think we wouldn't notice?" "well, you're definitely not kissing him"
I'm with you there, I feel the same.
Hope you find can yourself ❤
I match these signs very well. My parents are strict. I didn't say were, I said are. And before you say they are probably strict and loving, I accidentally mentioned stress and family members in the same sentence, and within a second my dad was pinning me to a corner by my shirt collar, almost choking me. The ADHD doesn't help (I've been diagnosed, but my parents believe it went away, despite all logic. It's a similar story with depression, except I was never diagnosed. It's been a long 5 weeks. And it definitely doesn't help that I lost someone a week ago. I can't just leave, either. I have no resources, no close friends, nowhere to run. It feels like I'm stuck, biding my time until something eventful happens.
Stay strong! You got this... 🥺
@@haneenasad thank you.
@@MaxGamer07wastaken 🥰♥️
I am going through a similar situation, and I want you to remind yourself like I do, it's only temporary and when it's the right time you will get out of this, it may not seem like it now, but trust me I am still waiting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, too 🙂
@@DAXILLA I dont have the resources nor the skills to be independent. My family sucks, but I depend on them anyways since I have nothing else
My father was an authoritarian ,
I developed the following that I have worked on and discovered the wrinkles that needed ironing out of myself.
-black and white thinking.
-alcohol addiction , I use to binge drink to soothe my emotions and escape reality.
-inability to set boundaries for myself and how others treated me ,resulting in extreme behaviour and suffering in silence.
-great achievements by looking after my career and excelling, while not looking after myself and health.
Being raised by an authoritarian parent is a blessing and a curse , I encourage everyone to learn about yourself,your curses and work on ironing out the wrinkles that this upbringing caused you .
Best wishes to all ❤🙏🏻
✨ Timestamps & Titles ✨
0:38 The Inner Critic
1:32 The Bad Person
2:17 The Art of Lying
3:01 The Rules
3:50 The Rebel
4:30 The Sadness
Remember that being a very strict parent does not mean they have bad intent. Some do, but some really love you and think it's the best course of action. I know not everyone grew up with the same loving parents as I did, but, remember that there are people who love you and care for you.
Thx
I think you would be understand the meaning of 'strict parents'.
Thank you. My mom was evil as hell to me
Tyyy
My dad was extremely overprotective and critical whereas my mom was overprotective and enabling. It caused me to sneak out, go through terrifying situations that I’m honestly surprised I survived through, and it caused intense mental illness (I was diagnosed with borderline at 17 and other mood disorders at 12). Since going into therapy, my therapist involved my parents in it sometimes and my parents realized they messed up and have since tried fixing their style. I’ve moved out, but my parents were able to find a great way to give me independence while keeping me safe at the same time.
My parents just worried way too much, and because of that, it caused them to say and do things that were not okay, but it was not their intention to hurt me.
I can relate to every single one and once I leave the house I feel like a bird being set free from its cage! What hurts the most is I live with relatives and they treat me like shit, they’re way of showing “love” is so aggressive. :(
I only just read this one I feel like I'm reading my life because yours is on point to mine I don't think my mom has ever told me she loves me that often
As someone who is still fairly new too parenting, I love watching these types of videos from you to help remind me of certain perspectives like this one. As someone who had parents so strict I still get anxious to ask about things because I just know I'm getting told no, I have to keep on myself not to pass that onto my daughter
Another day, another melt down because my parents suck and these videos help me realize it
same dude same
Same
Well what's in them is in you.
It would be best to try to find compassion for them so that you can understand the lessons they are attempting to instill into you the only way they know how.
If you believe your parents suck inevitably part of you believes you suck and that isn't true.
Forgive them, forgive yourself. Affirm yourself, affirm them. Become the change that you desire in them with love absolute.
Go no contact with your parents. They can give you hard times, so why not you return the favor? They said they are powerful enough and always right to do something so they can figure it out by themselves.
Well, I advise you don't forgive easily to the people who enjoy your suffering and return to them or it seems you can't change to be the best version of yourself. I know it's hard and struggle at the beginning but it is necessary for the sake od your inner peace.
I speak based on experience. They robbed my childhood, teen and try to make me to be a slave to serve them in my adulthood. They impressed when you didn't ran away from them but they're mad when you're in trouble. I advise you leave them for your goods.
@@asdffdsa898 🤡👈
My story is that growing up I always had help available with projects, be it school or other things. As the years passed I realized that the ‘help’ I had with my projects where more: “do it this way and you’ll get a good result” except I wanted to try things a little differently by using my own ideas to learn what did and didn’t work and why. When I tried to incorporate them into my projects then, according to my mother, her ideas were always better, she was never wrong, and because she was older she had the final say. I’m glad to have finally moved out for that reason (among others) but even now she still tries to ‘help’ even if I don’t ask for it. She can ‘help’ by letting me learn how to handle things on my own, because now I’m behind on experiencing how to make and go through with my own decisions.
I remember we had to do a family tree poster in middle school. We were drawing our relatives on the poster. Crude drawings, nothjng soecial. Mine looked pretty much like everyone else’s
My mom didn’t like that. She nitpicked everything I drew. No nose? She made me redraw it.
What helped me the most with raising my children was the book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’. It is honestly a game changer
Do you guys miss this OC version?
no
Just joking guys no harm involved
Yes!
So much!
Yeah
I was raised in a semi strict home- 26 now and I'm definitely very sneaky... I am also abit of a perfectionist in things I DO choose to do, sometimes to the point it takes me awhile to get it done. Also several times growing up where I felt like anything I did just 'wasn't good enough'. I don't think it came from a bad place at all, my parents were just basing things off how they were raised and truly thought it was the right thing.
I feel similar because my parents were strict when it came to things I actually wanted to do. Didn't matter what it was either, they just came up with some bullshit excuse for why I couldn't do it. I kept reminding myself that no other normal person my age has to deal with this crap. They were also super strict about food for some reason, and the fact that I was homeschooled and couldn't leave it didn't help either. My mom made most of the rules, and the house she was raised in was *apparently* much stricter than what I have. The result of that is that she's still very strict but thinks she isn't because her perception of a strict house was actually an extra strict house. Im 17 and become an adult soon. Im just waiting to become an adult so I can move several states away and start living my life
Boy can I relate, especially the bad person part. My father was a strict, no nonsense, fundamental Baptist. He would tell me I was a bad person on a near daily basis. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he always conjured up new and unobtainable standards on a whim with the excuse that God told him to. I hear that inner critic in my head every single day of my life and it sounds just like him.
For a lot of my life, I felt distant from my parents and siblings. Even at the times, I would get extremely angry at them for the simplest things like smacking, messing/pranking me, or just not listening to me. This has all combined into me feeling depressed all the time, it has even caused me to fall behind on my school work, and it has made me feel like I'm in a dark void unable to escape. And my parents would just like it to be something dealing with mental like ADD or some else. I now know that is not sick but I just dealing with habits that I have.
Is no one going to talk about how CALMING HER VOICE IS???!!!?!?!???!!!??
Fr l like I could sleep to her voice
Amanda is the greatest
Yep, it's common knowledge 😄☺
Ikr. I love her voice!
We did.
I'm still feeling the heartache of all six signs. 20 years later. While I am fortunate to have therapy and medications, there are days where it likes to give me a huge kick in my back. Reminding me that it's still there.
As much as I'd like to say "You can do this. Hang in there.", I know it's not that simple. Because I wanted to give up too many times. On what? Well too many things to list. But what I can say is this: Being rebellious helped me to seek help.
Mom was extremely paranoid about the pop culture we consumed. Anything that didn't get her stamp of approval was evil and bad and stupid and we were supposed to think ourselves above such horrid forms of entertainment. She created so many forbidden fruits that as soon as I was able, I watched as many violent movies as I could, the bloodier the better. During my college years, I'd feel like I was "rebelling" whenever I watched an R-rated movie even though I logically knew I was an adult and I could watch whatever I wanted.
Same here. She forbidden me to use internet for 1 month just because of five nights at freddys. (I was 13 at the time)
I've noticed codependency in myself. personally, my parents were very extreme with expectations and would drop you like a hot potato and leave you just to float around if you didn't live up to them. Now I'm 26, single, barely have a social life, and don't really know or care what I do with my life. Wich is both, stressful and awkwardly freeing.
I also feel identified with all of this. I never felt a video could describe me as this one does, but despite all of the comments saying or complaining about their parents, i try to understand them and the reason why they took this decision of raise me this way. My parents didn't have half they gave me, so they think i must reach higher goals, expectations or marks than they did with the few things they had. So now, everytime my mom try to make me feel bad about something i don't fight, i know she is old and it will be to hard to change her mind, so i try to explain that sometimes i have to take my own risks and confront the consecuences of it and don't take anything personal. I know she does because she loves me, not because she want me to live in pain, so i understand she is trying to do her best, but yes, she made some harm on my mental health but it wasn't the intention, she was loving me her way. So i don't accept that, but i understand her and so i love her.
It's terrifying how much I relate to this... And it is even more terrifying to think of the strict parents thought process. How does it work, in fact, how do abusers even think? Eh, just a shower thought.
My mom has always been toxic to the point I don't care what she say or does to me anymore it can't be any worse than the scars I already have my advice is if your going through the ditch your parents you may love them but it never changes
* hugs. I hope you can find peace.
I have this but with my dad.
The key to parenting is consistency. The rules can't change day by day. Strict but also loose. Define the rules clearly and stick to them. Make exceptions in some cases. Give the kids choices. Let them pick between 2 or 3 things for dinner. Give them chores and rewards for completing them. Raising kids is easy peasy if you're consistent. They basically raise themselves if you do it right.
You can be strict without being toxic.
@@donbishop6994some parents need to be toxic first, though.
Oh gosh, growing up religious, and not even fundamentalist, but with arbitrary rules like going to church on Sunday no matter the cost, or only listening to religious music even though yoiu hate it, or being stranded when my car broke down and my parents wouldn't come pick me up because they had to teach Sunday school.
That's just a few examples, but it took therapy for me to find out my parents skewered interpretation of the Bible gave me a laundry list of problems I took into my adult life. I've only really learned to love and accept myself in the past five years after religion told me to hate myself.
When I was itty bitty, my mom didnt realize I had ASD and ADHD. She just thought I was super smart, but also intentionally ignoring her instructions. She thought I was being a bad kid [and granted, I was her first kid, and she was in her 20s] so I was brought up with a mindset of "If I don't get a good grade, I'm stupid and a failure...". And I would learn the art of sneaking snacks at midnight so as to avoid immediate reprimand and a 'no'. Also, as a result of witnessing and participating in many arguments, I will try to prevent conflict at all costs.
Once she learned more on my ASD and ADHD, and how she had affected me, she changed her understanding.
She started off unawaredly authoritarian, but then shifted towards authoritative. So now we are all good, but that stuff from back then still impacts me - my inner critic hasnt left, they're just reading a series of novels until my next mess up
Ah, gotta love being early to a video. I know lots have struggled with thsi, and those at a young age. You are doing a great job, to show the struggles of everyone and representing them through these videos. Keep up the great work!
There are times where I want to apologize to my childhood self. I deserved to be around better people and a better environment. These things unfortunately carry on.
4:31 watching that and cry hit differnt 🤕
I got a lot of this. I was constantly criticized for things due to my blindness and autism. I wasn’t allowed to make messes, make mistakes without being criticized. I wasn’t allowed to stim or do things that were beneficial to my blindness or autism. If I ran into things, I’d either get laughed at or judged for not watching where I was going. I wasn’t allowed to show emotions, or if I didn’t communicate what was wrong, I’d still get crap for it. Now I limit myself from making mistakes, I limit myself from being my true self, I limit myself from showing any emotions that aren’t linked to happiness.
@Siennaprice1351
Hi my name is Chaleika & I am 22 but going on 23 like pretty much almost like in the next five months right until now which is actually going to be on the 9th of August. And plus I can also relate to you too about the whole fact that I was actually born with " high functioning autism" too. My mom would not allow me to go outside for a sleepover at a friend's house. I often do feel like I am physically, verbally & mentally abuse by my mom just literally because I was not allowed to make messes, with mistakes too without being very ridiculous teased & even criticized by anyone. For how I would react when it comes to those types of difficult situations, I would either get laughed at or even judged like that does involves of actually getting told about the whole fact that I do walk very weird in a very negative way & as well with the baby supplies that I do actually purchase at the store sometimes, I still get treated like a piece of crap for that too. And my mom would most likely treat my two siblings a lot nicer than me & plus I am actually the middle born a full grown adult child too indeed. I was not allowed to express my emotions in a very healthy way for what on every single human beings is actually supposed to do indeed. I do take a bit of time to limit myself to gain some freedom & as well by making mistakes too like in the long run. And I also do limit of being my true self from showing any type of emotions that are not linked of the joy of happiness. Thank you very much for sharing this amazing comment & very well said my friend. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I’m 47 and still healing from childhood trauma.
Great content here! My parents definitely chose obedience over communication, however credibility was lacking. Their validation seeking greatly influenced alignments ! Having answers to questions no one is asking is nauseating!
Another one is giving up easily. As I've gotten older its gotten to the point that when there's a challenge such as explaining yourself it's better to just give up than attempt to explain. It feels better to just shut up and do what you're told and have something to follow. Especially when something feels overwhelming you just procrastinate and result to give up.
this brings a smile to my face with the OG animation style :D
The animation brings back so much memories 🥲
I always told my friends that my parents have always been what I call "weirdly strict" as they never were as bad as some of my friends but still made my upbringing a nightmare. My friends never understood what I meant by this but this video finally gives me closure. For context: my parents were the type that pretty much encouraged me in high school to party and drink but would crucify me if I so much as disagreed with what they wanted "for me" and still are to this day as a soon to be 23 year old who is out of the house
2:17 in my mom's case, she'd act as if it have to be impossible for her to be guilty of anything. That if it looks like she did something wrong, then there *must* be something else that're the actual cause instead.
OR, that a guilty verdict should be a crime, in of itself.
No privacy and having your room search and taking your bedroom door away. Be grounded for two to three months for something you didn’t do. Being blamed for everything going wrong. Being forced to sing nursery rhymes and watch baby shows I like Barney and Sesame Street and Care Bears. Being forced to read books about being selfish and whining, losing your temper. Because forced to write lines of a dictionary. Having every thing taken away. This what I went through growing up in strict household with military parents.
But I like watching Barney and other shows
Man that’s very harsh☹️, hopefully, you don’t have to deal with those things again
I resonate with 1.2,3 and 6 the most. I'm not interested in anything anymore, I've never went over to any friends house my whole life, I kept transferring schools, my resulted in me being very introverted, and quiet.
I was not allowed to talk to others to the point I preferred not to, but now that I'm in highschool, I'm struggling because i cannot go on without interacting, and I've realized how much it affected me.
I'm a very plain person, with no interest to anything at this point. a clean slate,
idk if that's a good thing.
My grandma literally said I’m not allowed to have a summer because I’m an adult. It’s so soul crushing cause I need the break. I hate her. Sorry I needed to vent
I am watching your channel for a few years now and I like the style videos from you. :)
I´m no professional, but I´d like to share my thought.
In my opinion the opposite parenting style, to much "freedom" (no rules) can lead to a feeling of being abandoned/not cared for/not being loved enough/needs not met/etc... in various sections of your life. Of course depending on if you´re a toddler, a teenager or a young adult, your needs shift.
I hope I don´t trigger somebody with my comment. :)
That’s why it’s important to have a balance of the two.
Which it’s really hard to gauge tbh. One needs to know how to discipline the kids, but they cannot go overboard to the point of being mental. One also needs to know when to give the kids space, but also know when to reel them in.
But there will be times where parents make mistakes cause they too are human, but one thing that matters is how they view their mistakes afterwards.
My mother never apologised for accusing her kids of things they didn’t do if she herself was proven wrong. She never ever admits she’s in the wrong when it’s clear she’s in the wrong. Ironic given she taught us to own up to mistakes.
My dad meanwhile tries to listen, even if his brain works on pure logic and almost zero empathy, no regard for other people despite being a father. He gets it but at the same time doesn’t. Likely because he’s operating more on “my kids are saying something but still I’m right because I’m the adult” even if his kids are all legal adults.
Both are the results of strict parenting. Don’t even need a study to tell me about how strict parenting messes up kids into these traumatised manchild and womanchild attempting to raise children into “proper adults”.
My partner has a very leniant father, which I mean we are teens, but it'd still be nice to actually see them interact with eachother. They dont talk at dinner unless it's to their girlfriend, my partner asks for permission and all, but they never really sit down and talk. I never see them sit down and play a game, or indulge in hobby together. My partner's dad's girlfriend and I could talk about plants and the boys, no problem; but I dont really see them spend time together.
I guess you could say I like quality time, and so does my partner, so I just wish that him and his dad would spend some time together.
Sorry for ranting - it's just your post made me think of this
@@littysavior9181 you don´t need to apolozige. I understand you. I too enjoy quality over quantity time so to speak. My parents though they can´t see me often enough but they respect my need for privacy and me-time. For that I am glad but I also do things like playing (cards, cardboardgames), having dinner, etc with them. So there is my quality time together. :)
I hope your wish comes true. :)
Holy shit! #4 the rules makes so much sense on why I couldn't fit in as my parents were EXTREMELY strict to me and to follow "the rules" so much so that other kids found me to much of a square and I struggled to associate with them, same with parties, I just don't know what to do, same with big groups, I keep quiet and out of the way as my parents wanted.
I kind of missed this style, even though i loved the other one this one is cool too!
I had an issue for years after moving out where I'd jump or get a spike of anxiety when someone opened a door near me.
Me too every time my roommate opens the door my heart kinda skips a beat
Hiiiiii love your vids can you also make a video on how to fix all the parental trauma,etc thx ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I can’t be sure if it’s due to strict parenting but with my parent I feel unable to do anything without their input. Moreover anything they say I will do so without question as long as I can.
love the og animation style
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear this.
FIRST OF YOUR VOICE IS SO RELAXING AND SECOND YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE
The number 4 hits so hard. I've got such a hard time to socialize or do anything without some kind of routine or rules. It think that, because of the autonomy they give me at work, it got better, but it's still hard, I get lost sometimes. And I just can't have confidence in myself without feeling cocky.
Why am I feeling like this video just largely described me from a certain perspective?
My mom was a bit strict about me hanging out with kids outside of school. My dad was a little more lenient tho. But hey at the end of senior year I made it count with hanging out with friends i had before covid hit. Just did some end of year activities for senior year. Which the memories will always stay with me! Its sad in a way, but pretty cathartic and beautiful as well! But the interesting thing is that every girl I was attracted to in school, which was a good few, all pretty much moved on. Never felt confident about asking them out in the past.
I’ve have the worst parents that treat me like shit and don’t let me do anything and I’m always sneaking out and smoking and drinking. And I have friends with hood parents that let them do whatever and they never smoke or drank so that’s a perfect example of being too strict. Strict parents raise sneaky kids.
OMG, thank you for this, granted it gets more complicated when you include siblings, or when gender bias plays a role with strict parenting,
My mom and dad said they won't let me talk or play with my friends until I get better grades
I LOVE the animation style of this video!
To answer the question, another result of strict parenting is always eating everything on your plate, overeating and internalizing the sorrow of wastefulness.
I haven’t watched one of these in a bit. Miss them!
It has been a hot minute since I've seen this style of animation! It's neither here nor there for me; I enjoy watching these videos no matter what! In any case, its situations like these that make me remember how grateful I am for my stepdad and my mom. While my father wasn't a bad person by any means, he was never there for us ever since he returned from deployment. He's someone who was never able to defeat his inner demons, and it destroyed him. Nowadays I don't even KNOW where he is. Sigh... oh well. I cannot let the past control me or define me. The side of me that cares about what others think of me and me caring about how I act and behave around others is OVER; THAT ship has sailed! I know who I am, my limits, my capabilities, and what I like and dislike and I am HAPPY with it! :D
I have a strict mom, my parents are divorced . I know that my mom loves me, and that she would do anything for me, but she is very strict. She doesn’t let me wear stuff like tank tops and spaghetti straps, and would 100% prefer if I wore only wide leg pants. She let me get some boot cut pants, but if she was looking for pants for me, she always get the most shapeless wide leg pant. I am 13, and a little chubby. I have a twin sister( we are not identical) and she is skinny. My mom buys her the tightest flare pants and skinny jeans. She lets her wear cropped shirt that show some stomach, and spaghetti straps. There is nothing wrong with my sister being able to wear that, except that she won’t let me. She says “ you have to dress for your body type” and body shames me. I was trying to buy a swimsuit out with her, and she wanted me to get a tankini, while she got my sister a v cut bikini. I ended up convincing her to let me buy a normal swimsuit, but she said “ you can get it if you think you look okay in it, but I think you should cover up and dress for your body type. I’m not even super overweight , just a little chubby, and I’m turning 14 in January so I’m not freshly 13 either. I am very sporty and okay sports as much as possible at school, and ride horses on the weekends. I am very strong. My mom is also that of an almond mom. My mom is sometimes more strict than others, sometimes I can wear spaghetti straps in town, sometimes I can’t even wear a vest style shirt because it shows too much of my shoulder. Thank you for reading this.
My parents care about my physical health more than my mental health
I never saw my parents as strict, but I was able to relate to an alarmingly high amount of things listed, I honestly don’t know what to say about it
ALL the points in this video hit really close to home for me…
YESS THE OG STYLE TY FOR BRINGING IT BACK
Thank You! I needed this! 😭
Oh my...... through thia video i came to know that my sister is suffering through all of this symptoms..... I really have to show her to his video... Atleast she should know what is going on with her.... Really thankful
Found this in my recommended all of a sudden and now I just feel called out.. and have alot of crap to talk about with my parents it seems.
Thanks.. I guess. I have no clue how to take this revelation.
this video is just a 1 to 1 list of all the issues i’ve had to spend my entire life getting over 😞😞😞
I relate to most of these except the rebellious kind. I am more on the submissive type unless provoked to my limit. It is sad how we become our biggest enemy when we aren't raised according to our needs. :( But I am recovering and working to get the life I deserve! Thanks Psych2Go for this eye opener. ❤
The fact you try telling them what's wrong and they say stop victimising yourself. Not like they "lock me" up and barely let get out with my friends. No privacy no nothing i can't deal with it anymore.
What else can I say? This video has so much accuracy of my phases and literally we all have a gloomy life around!
I hate opening up to anyone really, but whenever I go through anything in life, I'd rather even turn to well known toxic people before I'd ever turn to them.
#1 is crazy because it's exactly how I feel.
I've a question.
How to get through a parent that seems to find depression 'just a joke'? The kind of parent you're not close with. The one that never think about privacy and go through your stuffs proudly. The one that disapprove your interest and then question why the child never talk about their interest to them. The one that gets mad when you're sick. The one that brush away your struggles as 'it's just a phase of life'. The one that accused and humiliated their children publicly. The one that wants people to done everything 'my way'.
It's from my own experience and others who have toxic family. Is there a way to solve these issues?
i relate to this so much and it feels scary that i do 😭. the problem is, i'm the oldest child, so i'm given higher expectations. i had to learn to be independent before i was ready to and now i feel too scared to even talk to my parents cuz i'm afraid of disapproval and criticism.
I luv your videos so much they’re amazing 🤩
I grew up with a very emotionally abusive stepfather and a mom who basically denied he was abusive and just said “it isn’t just you, it’s everyone” blah blah. I’m 31 now and just saw my therapist and he told me I’m having a mental breakdown and he attributes it to a lot of things I’ve carried with me from that experience. It follows you. And it can be scary at times, I’ve developed habits I’m actively ashamed of. Here’s to hoping I don’t carry them for much longer
I hope everything gonna be much better in your current and future life dear strong person
This subject is delicate. At times it is the parents and some times itis the kid's personality.
The lying one is so true! My parents didn't raise a perfect person, they raised a perfect actor.
A suggestion?
Maybe do a video on top reasons why you are cause of your depression.
Like I don’t really like the really sugar-coated content, I wanna encourage you guys to try out newer topics instead of constantly gearing the content to be just for people who don’t want to take responsibility, like make content that tells you the brutal truths, reasons why your depression is caused by you bad habits.
And sometimes to anybody who is reading this, if you want to get out of your rut, try your best, and if you have addictions like drugs, overeating, and pornography I encourage you to drop these habits.
Having good parents seems privilege to me. My father is alcoholic, died early. Left with mom who is emotionally unstable... always blame me for her misfortune... Im probably better off if I was sent to an orphanage
The fact that strict parents always criticize you for everything is sad. One day my father was explaining me something, and I was silently listening to him. After a while, he asks if I am even listening to him. I say "yes. I am listening to you." And there he goes and says " I don't think so. I think I am barking in front of you". I really don't know how to explain my parents or gain my trust. They never trusted me. I wish we will be able to get out of this....take care to everyone
This is what describes my dad. This is why he's a very strict parent and he has very harsh rules for me to obey them and stuff like that.
Thank you.. this video is for me 🥺❤️
Other than number 5, others are soooooooo relatable.
Number 1, 2 and 3 especially.
The weird thing about my upbringing a was that my mom actually discouraged me from things like studying. She was strict with other things, if I didnt feel exactly the same way as she did about everything, id get yelled at, if I expressed any desire to move away, id get yelled at. Basically, she expects me to be a mini her and live with her forever. But anyway, I experience all of the things in the video.
I have several friends who did not mature in life and did not get to live they're childhood because of strict parents who were afraid to show them the world or let their kids show it to themselves.
Felt like I've gone through each individual facet in list, but I can say the best thing to take away from this is not care what they really think, and is possible to have good outcome to come from all this
Fr her voice sounds sooooooo calming
I feel bad for my friend because her parents are soooo strict and she has a bit of anxiety so she struggles in talking in public.
It hurts knowing my parents dismiss mental health by saying “you’re *mental* if you have a mental health issues” or “ stop overreacting so much! You don’t have (any mental health issues), you’re just a kid! What do you know?” I tried to get help from my school when I was still in primary and when I just had ENOUGH,I kept talking to teachers which made me feel a lot better knowing I’m telling my feelings and struggles to someone where they don’t dismiss me. But it got kind of bad to the point they had to visit my house to talk to things to my parents when I told them not to because of what they might think of me for telling them my problems,so they made up stuff saying “oh they’ll take you away from us!” It’s quite crazy of what they see on Facebook tbh 💀 because my teachers told me to go to a therapist but my parents thought that….and my dad had to go drop me off there and said “I don’t have time for this,I need to go to work,tell your teacher that you don’t wanna go or something…or just say your scared.” He then just walked off and never talked to me about it again. It’s like my parents aren’t helping me mentally and they’re isolating me from getting any help because of their concerns.
For number 3, I just want to say that I do have these parents but my parents always know I when I am lying even if it’s convincing.
Yeah; my tell is that I cant help but laugh. So I ended up sneaking food instead and trying hide it well enough to not have to lie
I even closed the cabinets quietly, tried not to make a creeeeek, and would try to make my footsteps sound like I was heading to the bathroom, or that I was getting a cup of water [and would bring it with me as to hide all suspicion].
....
I really had a midnight snack problem
i especially resonate with the first, second, and fifth one. and partially the sixth as well. although I don't think I have depression, I find myself feeling sad for no reason.
Mine were overly strict & abusive & the remaining one still condones his actions & tried to take me to court for defamation. If he tried that, I'd criminally charge him.
Well it depends, But Parents are all different. But They all loved you, even when you make mistakes and all of that!
So minemalistic
I love it!
My old carer's never had high expectations they even said to me I might as well learn to clean BC that's all I am ever capable of but it turned out I was really good at catering but at that point they already made me do a leaning thing in college when I wanted catering and now trying to do anything that I want to do I just give up and I know I shouldn't but I know I'm stupid and I wil mess it up
My parents definitely have some of the signs on this list, but fortunately not all of them. Even when they're tough on me, I know it's because they care