👶How to Not be Scared to Have a Baby | Simple Steps to Reduce Pain
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
- HOW TO NOT BE SCARED TO HAVE A BABY // SIMPLE STEPS TO REDUCE PAIN IN LABOR AND CHILDBIRTH. **full lesson below**
Go into labor with confidence, reduce your labor pain, learn coping techniques, all for free in this online childbirth crash course! I'm the labor nurse that tells all, and I want you to have the birth experience that you want.
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Even though I help women have babies everyday, I was totally blindsided by my own labor. It hurts, it's scary, I felt so vulnerable and like everything was out of my control. Since then, and surviving postpartum depression, I've made it my mission to empower mothers to prepare for a confident birth experience. There are a lot of unknowns, but with the right support and a few simple techniques, you can be ready for anything (in childbirth AND parenting)!
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I was just scared of tearing but after reading everyone's responses I'm scared of everything
Exactly hhhhhhh 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
I had a 3rd degree tear. I knew when it happened but didn't feel ANY pain from it because of the epidural. The stitches take care of it and the soreness is gone in a week. No big deal in my case.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the best advice I was ever given, was to stop listening to everyone's stories. My mother is NOTORIOUS about all the horrible graphic details of her two deliveries. I just have to ignore her and meditate daily of the delivery.
At the end of the day, your delivery will be yours, and yours only. God made we biological women specifically for this exact experience.
Remember, the term is MOTHER earth, who brings life..... not father 😉
You've got this
Same here babes
I'm more worried about dying in birth. That's honestly my only fear and the pain
Mee too same fear
Me too, it’s my first time and im already 36yrs old now
@@johnmatthewtantocobernaldo9346 I knew a petite woman who have birth to a big and healthy baby boy at the age of 46 and my aunt gave birth to her first child at 42.
Fear of losing control of myself and allowing the pain to take over mentally
I think ima pass out from anxiety and won’t be able to push
What I like about sports psychology is that they teach athletes, “yes and...” Yes I’m nervous to step at the bat AND I’m going to smash this ball out of the field anyways. It’s about eliminating as much fear as possible in childbirth, but if you do experience fear when it’s time to perform (because we are human), there are tools you can still use to leverage that fear in a positive way.
I'm so afraid that I won't have the strength or energy I'm going to need
For my first time, I was sooo tired that I kept blacking out through the whole thing and so that made it take even longer and my sister kept having to wake me up. It was such a horrible experience but it was my fault it was so bad because I stayed up to late watching movies instead of sleeping so this time around I'm going to make sure I take my nap when they tell me to !
I’m scared😭 I don’t think I will ever be ready to give birth to my baby😭😭 I’m scared, I wanna throw up, I wanna cry😭
I feel the same, due any day now 😭💕
@@nicolamtp hey these all thought came to my mind too.. but trust me it feels awesome get pregnant and c.. go for it..
one fear i have is tearing, and having a panic attack about freaking out and being in continuous pain for a long period of time during labor.
GREAT explanation about the nerve fibers! Makes a lot of sense!!
-Tearing
-Ring of Fire
-Contractions that feel like death lol.
I saw in another video negative pain and positive pain. The negative pain are the thoughts of fears that come of anything and everything that could go wrong or the pain itself fearing the next contraction. Now the positive pain in knowing what your body is doing regarding the labor and contraction pain. Knowing this can be constructive and productive by using the pain to your advantage and focusing on that during longer contractions. If any of this made sense.. The video itself was very informative and empowering, i am 20 weeks along and even with an anxiety disorder no longer have the fear of going into labor. I look forward to it.
so many great points! it requires mental energy (which is still energy) to worry and fear and panic. Find a usefulness for pain...contractions and pressure let you know where you are in the birth journey. You can burn your energy worrying or you can reserve energy by working with your body (and sensations). you don't want to be exhausted when that little angel arrives :)
This was so interesting and helpful!
Fear of dying and living my tiny one behind.
Long labour above 12 hours
Episiotomy
Induction
Fear of losing the baby, or even me.
Brittany 2H yes
Exaaaactltyyyy! I start tearing up thinking about "what if's..."
Yea, this is my fear. I know it will be painful, but I'm more scared of something bad happening.
Thats my fear too 😭😭 its giving me nightmares
Not progressing and ending up with a c-section
Mandy Irby 👍🏼👍🏼
Same as u afraid to end up with a c section
Thanks your video really help me during labor
GREAT NERVE FIBER BREAKDOWN AS WELL!💯👍🏾
Fear of tearing
Not being able to handle the pain!
This!!
Heta Shah me too!!
If it makes you feel any better I did tear with my daughter, but I had an amazing birth & healed very very well. No epidural and everything progressed very naturally☺️ Hope this makes you feel a little more secure.
@@TheYussef3 how no epidural? You just delt with the pain ???
EXCELLENT VIDEO!💯
Totally binging on your videos this week. 40 weeks and 5 days today. So ready to do this! I'm so glad I found you this time around to re-educate. Acknowledging this won't be easy but being educated helps with fear.
My husband and I have been working on way more in our toolbox this time..
And honestly, I'm going to try to use these covid times to my advantage as well, less people, less interruptions/interactions. Praying they don't change hospital policy before we get there and let him in with me. As long as he's there ill be able to get through this joyfully.
Thanks for doing all you do and going over what you do and being super real!
My fear of labor is not progressing right & have to get a c section 😪 , tearing , baby getting stuck or cord wrapped around baby neck
Thank you dear 💓
This was very helpful still terrified but it helped lot with anxiety about it.
Fear of complications afterwards and during. Fear of complications that have me in the hospital frequently, fear of having pain throughout the pregnancy and not just at birth. Fear of the pain at birth. Fear of the cost. The list is insane!
I'm so happy this channel and your classes exist. My local hospital is SO difficult to sign up for any kind of childbirth classes 😣
The hospital I'm giving birth at has no classes at all.
I am afraid of dying and going through extreme unbearable pain while in labor.
*I’m crying now*
Me too
@@serenabee9928 I’m pregnant now. The further along I’m getting, the less scared I’m becoming
@@Glitzandgabby out of curiosity... are less afraid because you have accepted that there will be pain and you know coming or no?
@@Glitzandgabby I’m only 6 weeks in but I’m really freaking out tbh. There is a lot of excitement around this baby but more fear than anything! Fear of if doing the pregnancy right, fear of the delivery (pain or labor and health of the baby) and nervous about being a new mom.
@@kennedyh9721 I completely understand. This is all new to first time moms. There are a million and one thoughts racing through our minds. It is important to know that regardless of what you are thinking, you are not the one in control. A miracle is forming inside of you. That miracle is stronger than what you can ever imagine.
It’s like preparing for a big test.
You’re all nervous about taking it but eventually you take it and make whatever score you make.
As long as you don’t quit before you try.
So, like pregnancy. As long as you don’t quit on yourself and take care of yourself. You are also taking care of your baby. (I learned this going through my own pregnancy).
If you do yoga, stretch, practice good eating habits, and remain calm, you will have a better experience.
I actually have 2 fears,
1 is ripping from the front to the back and having to get stitches
and #2 whoever I have a baby with one day that they will no longer find me attractive after or during the pregnancy and go cheat with someone else.
I’ve herd about how some women are not intrested in sex after a baby. I have so many more but that is 2 reason.
I have these exact fears and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. These fears are valid, but I've been trying to speak about them out loud to conquer them and talk openly with my partner (the baby's dad), who I love.
Hypnobirthing! No fear no pain!!
Afraid of not having a successful VBAC. I was young and naive with my first, so hopefully, with more education, my second will be smoother!
First time mom here! I’m 30 weeks, I’ve been getting a lot of “hate” from my family because I want to have a natural labor in my hospital with no visitors. They tell my I’m selfish and crazy....it’s really been bumping me out and second guess myself. My birthing staff know my wishes and my room is FULLY equipped. I also get stressed out in crowds and I feel like my partner and nurses are enough support/traffic. Am I crazy for just wanting to bond with my baby and my partner and not wanting visitors?
Wow I dont think you're selfie or crazy for wanting the first few hours/days alone with your baby and partner. As for birth plans, everyone is different and that's ok. You say you want natural but for me I would love pain medication/epidural. Neither one of us deserve judgment for wanting one or the other. Ultimately everything is up to you and I hope you have/had a safe and stress free birth, you got this mama💕
Not at all
I wouldn't want any one else there, other than the babies farther and midwife xx
You're not wrong...anyone who creates bad energy for you during the process doesn't belong in the room imo... it's a lot to deal with on its own and I can completely understand what you feel/ your wishes. You can always video the birth and share it as a family movie after in a baby welcoming party/ gathering later... they have no right try to stress you out about that. Just the process is dealing with a lot so they have no right to put you under pressure or add to feelings of anxiety or distress vs. showing the greatest support...You only get to do this once so make it as you desire. Forget everyone else's issues.... they're not going to carry your pain or endure the physical ordeal for you.... (You are not alone...) can relate...
Don’t worry women usually survive birth
Forget death but it’s hard to tolerate the pain
This will b my second baby fist time around my spouse was on their phone and i had no support ppl. The only one who helped me and calmed me was a student nurse. Thanks to her i got thru it. No epidural no pain killers. Vaginal birth. This time around for some reason im scared of not being able to control my breathing and to panic bcuz of the pain and end up with a csection
Fear of loss of control:
1) Induction
2) Not progressing fast enough and ending in c-section
3) Emergency c-section
4) Not being advocated for properly by my midwife to my doctor.
I am a confident and fearless birther
Sense Of fire during crowning
I had a two hour precipitous labor with my first with back to back, super strong contractions from the start. It was insanely painful and scary. I’m afraid of this next baby exiting in the same way.
Not having the strength to push
sou doula e estou apaixonada pelo seu canal
Fear of being in labor to long or having to have emergency cesarean
Harrington rods in my spine and a sacroiliac joint that moves out of place and dealing with pain and the unknown 🌸
Mandy Irby just had my gorgeous 3.5kgbaby girl on 12th Sep 2018 I’m so much in LOVE💖 had her naturally with gas ONLY no way allowed whatsoever to have an Epidural as lower spine twisting and space too small cause of it and would of caused more complications in the long run , makes a huge difference having Beautiful people around you who give ALOT of encouragement like from my amazing husband ,amazing OB and gorgeous midwife couldn’t done it without them ❤️ felt very extreme crushing bone painful 😖 on my lower spine legs and stomach pubic area ect had some complications I’m not gonna lie
I am 5 months along and this is my first pregnancy. From the beggining i knew i wanted a birth with little to no medical intervention. My biggest fear is that when the moment comes i won't be able to dilate fully, meaning i will require an emergency c-section and have to be rushed from the birthing center to a hospital. 💔
Fear of panicking and in agonizing endless pain
Fear of dying..and the fact that I can't talk to my fiance about my fear cuz he hates talking about death..I'm due in less than 2 weeks and the anxiety/depression is real.😢😢😢
Did everything go well?
How did everything go?
I'm not really afraid of the pain to be honest. I've been in some incredibly painful situations due to assault and injury, kidney stones, kidney stone removal surgery, severe diverticulitis infections, and self harm injuries.
I am afraid of doctors who I don't know judging my body, weighing me, and of my partner being disgusted with something about my body.
I am also afraid that my partner won't feel sexually about me the same way, even though he will not be in the delivery room.
I generally don't trust doctors as they have been very wrong about many things in my life. I know that they don't always make decisions that consider my previous trauma or respect my intelligence.
I miscarried 5 years ago and still have never fully recovered from the trauma , my nervous system was destroyed after it and It ruined my quality of life . 3 days overdue right now and I’m terrified . Just want this experience to be over . I don’t want to spend another 5 years recovering .
For all you pregnant mamas I want to say I’m a survivor of having a extreme fear that I was going die during birth . I was afraid of the whole process . Especially the needles. I spent my whole pregnancy in stress in fear . I couldn’t control it it was so strong . When I finally gave birth it was more calming then I expected , I wasn’t in to much pain due to getting the epidural. It’s a mindset thing and honestly as women our body’s know how to do this . Enjoy your pregnancy queen you where built for this ❤️❤️❤️ I thought birth was something but post partum hit me more hard . One year later my body is back my mindset is even more strong and all I gotta worry about is chasing a one year boy 😂😂
This will be my first baby without epidural my worst fear is I won’t be able to endure the pain and given to the epidural or worst if I’m not able to progress I’ll have to do a c section
Tearing , recovery
I still remember the pain of contractions with my last delivery and if I focus on that memory for just a little to long I start to dread it. I had to be in the bed the whole time because of internal fetal monitoring, IV, etc. I think that increased my pain because I wasn’t able to move. I fear something happening this time to cause me to be confined to bed again. My first delivery was completely different and I felt strong and capable, but not with my 2nd. The experience has waivered my confidence some. And I don’t like that either! Which is why I am watching you videos. Thank you for posting them!!!
2:15 this used to be super easy to answer. I had many fears, but the more I learn the less I fear. I suppose my fear now is still about tearing but even that is being minimized with a water birth and not bearing down if I can remember to do that in the midst of labor.
I’m due Aug 13th my fear would have to be surges of pain since I’ve decided to go natural plus trying to breath controllable while trying to main my anxiety
Tearing or episiotomy, feeling out of control during pain, not being able to stay still for epidural, cesarean, going back to normal afterward.
In 38 weeks I'm getting induced next week. My fear is not dilating and getting a c-section. This is my 3rd baby
I'm afraid of this cycle: Fear of forced interventions in hospital > not being respected > lose control and confidence > accepting interventions out of pain/ fear that I'm not able to control any longer.
The pain and the throwing up
The only thing I’m scared of is me or my child not making it through childbirth.
Fear: The length of time it takes /pain duration... & possible complications... not having enough strength to complete the process... plus tearing issues etc....
I have a fear of going through another complication in labour. My last labour I haemorrhaged my womb erupted and I ended up in icu for 26 hours.
17 doctors dislike this 😂😂
thanks alot Mandy ❤
Fear of dying from amniotic fluid embolism, tearing, c sections
Up ALL night with anxiety about giving birth…I’m 38 weeks +4 and super nervous and scared of the pain and that my epidural might wear off too soon and I’m worried that pain and ptsd from it might prevent me from bonding with my baby…..help me?
My labors are so fast, I'm afraid of not making it to the hospital in time. I'm also afraid of my husband missing this birth like he did the last time due to how fast my labors are.
Comments remember to keep. Comments respectful and to follow our community guidelines
Fear of getting Episiotomy , C-Section, long hours of labor 😱😱Too bad I can’t bring my dog. 😭 He makes me happy. 🤣 lately I’ve been really clingy and he’s getting tired of me 🤣 will definitely bring my oil diffuser
Uterine rupture-Vbac
And pain
My Baby is due any day. My fear is induction and any interventions that can come with it. The place I am giving birth is in network with my insurance plan and depending on when i go into labor I may have 1 of the 8 docs in the practice depending on who is on call, I’ve only had appts with 2. These things make me nervous!
I’ve given birth before, but had a pretty rough labor and delivery. 36 hours of labor with almost 4 hours of pushing. Then I tore very badly. I’m fearful of another long labor and more tearing. I know that things will probably be easier this time around since I’ve done it before, but I’m still fearful about those things.
Kara Stanton my exact fears! 42+ hours & they cut me 3x.. I'm so scared
Same sentiments and experience? 🥺 im on my 2nd pregnancy and im so scared
Falling apart in the face of the pain that I know I will encounter and asking for a hospital transfer from the birth center.
Fear of ending up with C-Section, SPD getting in the way, tearing, pain too much.
Throwing up from the pain because I “have” to have a natural labor. And c-sections.
Substitute of epidural injection in natural birth as well as in c section
Having epidural fail and not being able to handle labor pains/know how to handle them
My fear is progressing too fast and not being able to get the epidural... I suffer hugely with generalised anxiety I'm 27 and feel like it's going to be too late 😞
Fear of tearing and having a complicated birth (it runs in the family so it's bound to happen 😢)
This may sound silly but my mother is going to be my support person during my labor and I am afraid of hurting her feelings. She tends to try and tell me what worked for her and tends to push that, she likes to control... If I asked her to please be quiet or let me focus, I'm afraid she will take it personal and won't be there for me. Does that sound silly? I won't have my husband with me this time for the first time (baby number 4 with him but going through divorce). I also really don't want to have an epidural...
Tearing, contraction pain, not being able to push
So late with this comment but thought I'd share my fears as a therapeutic measure..
My labour with my first was traumatic.. I fear having to undergo the same experience and fear not being able to essentially deal with the fear and panic. Forgetting to breathe, having to have an epidural again or worse, ending up with a c-section. Fear something happening to me or baby and potentially not having partner at birth due to new rules put in place cos of covid. I fear not recovering well like last time and having to be stuck in bed for days.
I fear the unknown really. Trying to embrace it and take it as it comes but the idea of just literally ANYTHING happening is freaking me out internally. Sigh.
First baby born 3 years ago perfectly naturally, no medication etc. This baby is breech. Want to give it a try, but terrified of too much pain or emergency c-section... Also, I have PCOS, so worried that c-section etc would further complicate getting breastfeeding going (very difficult and low milk due to hormone imbalance with baby no 1)
Also, discovered your youtube page completely by accident, and it's an amazing free resource (I am a Brit living in France!). So thank you!
Im just so scared of the rush, amd when they say 'its time', and im scared fpr the pain that will occour, and i do want to have kids, but the fear is almost making me never want kds.... ever
(I wont say anything personal) but i have a problem with always thinking ahead... far ahead.... im not pregnant, but im so scared for when/if i get pregnant.
Please if anyone has any advice, im freaking out!!!!!
My fear in my first birth is the unknowns, a lengthy pushing process and complete exhaustion
My fear as a father is not being able to be in control of the situation
Fear that i wont be able to bear the pain and then giveup which might affect my baby, i want to get over this😣
Having my 4th baby I guess I'm scared because I know what labor takes. Its painful its scary my closest hospital is about 1 hour away and .scared I won't make it.
(Currently 38 weeks pregnant, so I realize this is a bad time to freak out..)I'm scared I won't be able to cope with the pain this time.
I'm afraid that if I need an epidural, I won't have time to get one.
I'm scared to tear really bad this time (had a second degree last time).
I'm scared of shoulder dystocia...😖😖😖 baby getting stuck.
I'm terrified of something happening to my son or me during that hurts either of us.
I'm terrified of feeling everything..
Getting induced, feeling so weak and not being able to push baby out😂
Fear of pain and not knowing what to expect 😢
1. tearing, episotomy
Tearing and not being listened to/not having my wishes respected. Having to stay in the hospital
hey mandy qs want to ask u i currantly have gestational diabetes thats under control, since your qualified to ask qs.... I dnt wnt a c-section, nor to be induced nor be put on pitocin. Can u give me some ponters. This is my first baby. Im really taking care of my gestational diabetes. Give me your input pls
tearing and using the restroom after birth.
@@the_birth_nurse and how to avoid it?
Fear of not being able to go all natural and also end up with emerygency c sec like previous
My biggest fear is not being able to take the contractions, even tho I have a high pain tolerance and will do my ultimate best to go normal labor and the least interventions possible but it's my first and I've gained a lot of weight and this last month finally stopped working and just want to rest, don't know how that will affect it;
Fear of my partner not being there to support me because of the current situation;
Afraid of tearing and afraid of panicking because of the pain.
Hi Mandy ! I really hope you will read this...
I have so much to say about fear.. See, I'm 25 years old, I'm a very relaxed and down to earth person, and very positive in general. I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant for the first time and without lying, I have the most asymptomatic (is that a real word in english?) pregnancy possible. No pain, not a second of nausea, NOTHING. I just started having very blocked nose and I can't breathe most of the time -.- but that's all the symptom I have (I don't have Braxton Hicks contraction...yet). HOWEVER. I have a fear of birth since the moment I know I wanna be a mommy someday, so since my early teenage years I would say. Maybe it is from hearing that childbirth is the most painful experience a human can go through..? And it scared me to the point that it took me 2-3 years to finally accept to try for a baby because I realized that my fear wont go away and that I didnt want it to stop me and my husband to have a family. But here I am, crying about every week when I think about the fact that my greatest fear will become reality in a couple of weeks.. I am just terrified. Yes, of the pain, but over time I discovered that what makes me really scared is the fact that I will be "confined". I had 2 periods of anxiety in my life that lasted a few months and I had to seek professional help. I have panic attacks when I'm in places/rooms/situations that I cant get out of. Such as when I was in a public bus that was stuck in traffic, when I'm in a room that is locked, etc. That made me develop a fear of panic attacks aswell because they really suck :( my last anxiety period was a few years ago.. but I cant stop thinking of when I will be in that hospital room without the possibility to get out (I've never been hospitalised). I absolutely want the epidural because I want to feel the least pain possible, but I'm pretty sure that I will have a panic attack because I wont feel my body and wont be able to even leave the bed... I never had medication for anxiety and i dont know if that's something that the hospital can give me so that I wont have panic attacks.. I feel soooooo guilty... I wish I could be excited for that day... Well I am very thrilled to meet my baby ! But the fear is so overwhelming.. it's like I'm already traumatised of an event that didnt occured yet.. that fear has been there for sooooo long that I just cant shake it off.. So it's really my mental state that makes me worried.. more than the fear of pain or fear of complications.. I'm scared of losing control of my head.. It just sucks because I cant see how I could get prepared and avoid panic attacks.. I cant practice birth :( i feel hopeless..
How did it all turn out, if you dont mind me asking?
@@kayladye8461 well.. it was fine ! As everything came slowly, I think that helped me to adapt to the situation. I started having mild contractions on friday evening, during the day of saturday i definetly had contractions but they were irregular (between 30 minutes apart and 7 minutes apart) but they were painful.. we decided to head to the hospital at 3am sunday morning. I was 2.5 cm dilated (compared to 1.5 cm dilated on the thursday before), but after an hour, my cervix didnt change. We went back home and in the morning, I was having 10/10 painful contractions.. we tracked them until they were 1 to 5 minutes apart for 2 hours so at 2h30pm we went back to the hospital. I was 4cm dilated and pretty much 100% effaced ! So i was admitted and the doc told me that I can have the epidural as soon as i ask for it. (As I was scared, I decided to wait a bit) I took a bath for 20 minutes but I became cold and they wouldnt raise the temperature :( and I wanted to sit on a ball but after 5 minutes I chose to have the epidural. Not too long after, the anethesiologist arrived and I asked her questions (which lead me to cry) but she said it's not like being paralysed, which I didnt know :o and I asked to have a low dose at first, just so that I will able to adapt easily.. the procedure didnt hurt, it took 3-4 minutes, but it took a while for the effects to arrive.. but when they arrived, I felt soooooo good to not be in pain anymore.. and I still could feel my body :) it was magical ! My whole family was with me also so we just laughed a lot. I was still progressing well but they still decided to plug me on oxytocin to make sure my progress wouldnt slow down.. unfortunately, even when i pushed on the epidural button, i could feel my contractions coming back after 30 minutes.. they found out that the device was not working 😅 so they put the epidural directly in me and it helped a lot.. the doc suggested to wait that my baby will be low before pushing so that it wont take 2 hours. At 2am, on monday the 4th, i was 10cm dilated ! I pushed for 30 minutes (with contractions that I could feel again on my left side) and she came out :) seriously it was amazing.. if I could change something, I would have had the epidural earlier than 6cm :) other than that, it was less scary than in my thoughts.. and my little girl is so precious.. I couldnt be happier ! ♡
I had to stay at the hospital until wednesday though.. on tuesday night I was feeling a bit anxious, i really wanted to get out and go home.. at some point i thought i was about to have a panic attack :o but i talked to myself and fell asleep.. the lack of sleep probably took on me 😅
I am afraid of not being able to handle the pain and caving and getting an epidural (which I am actually terrified of)
Miss Mandy i am 19week pregnant right now , can u plz suggest me some good exercises which i can do to prepare myself reday for normal delivery
Im scared cuz im having panic attacks everyday of my pregnancy and Im scared im gonna faint or lose control during labour,im sooo affraid please help
7th pregnancy but I developed diabetes this go around so I have the fear of what can go wrong.
Tearing!