Check out the "videobook" I wrote after finding out about him: UnAmerican www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal/shop/unamerican-video-book-memoir-217440?Link&
As someone who joined the black version of a Christian fundamentalist group, if your fundamental assumptions are that they can't be this way, you will either miss or dismiss (rationalize) their behavior as something else. Although the signs were clear as day, I never noticed until I had left.
I grew up in a cult and spent my time in it telling myself "yeah, this place sucks, but at least it's not a cult like some other places." I suppose at the time I felt it had to be the super obvious signs like living in a compound and dressing the same. It was only once I got out that I realized what I really grew up in.
@@whatamidoing9841 I feel like anytime we say “ I grew up in….” (Referring to a group/ not location) it’s more culty than we realize. Like, my child is not growing up “in” any group….💔
As an afrolatina who is neurodivergent and grew up mega culty latin christian in NYC, who dresses "weird" and had unicorn 34th bday, and a rocking chair I feel very seen and heard
❤🔥 I'm a twenty one year old trans guy with autism and ADHD, and your upbringing sounds hard, but the unicorn birthday GOES HARD Sending you all the best wishes
The "I started doing it to myself" really resinated with me. I realized I was queer, somewhat, as a child. I am both genderqueer and not straight and puberty was pretty difficult for me. I had a mentally ill parent and started to think that maybe there was something wrong with me metally that I could not be "like everyone else". If I don't fit the gender binary, "who am I supposed to like". So, I leaned very hard into trying to be my birth assigned gender and follow the "straight" path from there. It was me married and a parent, decades later, that it all started to unravel.
You would probably really appreciate this book: Worthy: the Memoir of an ExMormon Lesbian, by Chris Davis bookshop.org/a/104058/9798887970561 I just finished reviewing it on my other socials, and it is excellent, and sounds like you hit much of the same story points.
Similar happened to me. I didn’t have the language to understand that I am non binary so I thought something was wrong with me. Even my choice of clothes were different to the norm so I was unfairly judged, the same that you were saying. I guess it is a long journey for all of us but we need to deconstruct these labels to be free. 🥰
Wowowow. The algorithm served this gem up to me this morning... not sure which keyword did it - cult stuff? social justice and race? Neurodivergence and explicitly refusing to fit in? knitting? in any case, I'm off to listen to the other episodes already out, and I'm looking forward to future episodes. I sat and did some hand stitching while listening and it felt like I was sitting with friends talking about topics that are important and interesting to me. KEEP IT COMING!
As someone who is AuDHD, I grew up before these diagnoses and when I was younger, all I wanted was to be "normal" because I knew I was an outsider. Got over that, but I continued to want to be accepted for me. Until this discussion, I hadn't realised how much of the way I dress is a carry over from that early imprinting. I do some unusual things... for example, I was wearing men's pajama flannels as trousers years before the culture, the same for men's sock (to have short winter socks instead of knee socks, and I was wearing women lingerie as dresses. These were cotton dresses in the lingerie section of the stores. Cheaper, more fun. But for the most part, I've looked like a soccer mom but less sporty half the time. Not when I was working in jobs where I had to be professional looking. There, I used more color, and was stylish, but still trying to fit. I've never felt like I found a style that was me. I dress for comfort now (I'm retired) and that's all that matters.
amazing video. just wanted to chime in: Sorbian is actually neither germanic nor dead. it's a minority language in the east of germany, that belongs to the west-slavic languages. Sorbs are one of the only officially recognized minorities in germany
@@EvenTheEevee oh thank you. I had only heard of it in connection with this and that was what I had read. Should probably change that part in my manuscript🫡.
I'm interested in that, "what're you going to be?" thing. I had to realise that I already am what I'm "going to be"...Just a person, not a profession, not my education, not my gender or sexuality. Those are all parts of my identity, to be sure, but I'm good and fine and whole and enough just now, right where I'm at, even if I'm not "perfect". Whatever the fuck that means, lol. Excellent chat.
This was really interesting! I absolutely adore the concept of a podcast where you do crafty hobbies with a friend while talking about such heavy things. You have a fascinating story and I’m glad this William guy is not in the army anymore
For me the I used to be gay vs "i used to think i was gay" is a pink flag. One sees sexuality as a binary and can frame being gay as bad. Two I'm bi and though i know every one jokes about repressed closet case homophobes but i know being a repressed bisexual allows for componded cognitive dissonance. Because you have hetero classed attractions the denial and repression is easier to fall into yet of course the desire is still outside of your control so you double down on repression until you blow up. It also means you can trick yourself that conversion therapy works and entrench yourself in patterns of self harm. *Though fluidity means someone can experience a " i was this orientation and now I'm this" but the language used is usually a lot more curious and flexible than "I'm no longer gay".* Note it's a pink flag for someone needing help or hurting, not necessarily dangerous. Though in the context of this case....
It's wild hearing you talk about finally getting to dress the way you want after you left him. Speaking as someone else who divorced a white supremacist, when I went to his place to get my stuff back, I made sure to go there with piercings he wouldn't let me wear. Not sure if I also had my first tattoo by that point, but I made sure to look such a way that he knew I know I can now be myself and I am not going back under his controlling hands. I would not be surprised if he's in the closet too. My own coming out as bisexual resulted in the end of our marriage. Should have come out sooner.
@@whatamidoing9841 I love the concept of “dressing in a way that they know they don’t own us anymore.” Would love to put this sentiment in the book chapter I just wrote. Would that be okay with you? I could quote you or do ‘anonymous’?
@@KnittingCultLady Anonymous would be great! I went through six years of hell with my ex and if anything can help anyone else get out of the same situation I went through, I'm for it 100%.
Being Jewish in the south has been interesting. The white people don't quite like or trust me but can't place why, the black people like me more than the white people do but warily. It's been painful to learn that I will never fit in here, but freeing too. I, like many, have embraced being the neighborhood eccentric who takes her spinning to the bus stop to pick up the kids.
35:41 "there's a human in there... but he's not being fed" omg this line! this is a really great conversation and touches on a lot of really juicy points.
@@KnittingCultLady Feels good to be listening at the start. Sorry if I came off as critical - I think this is a great conversation and I want more people to hear it and recognise themselves in it.
@@SarahHorner you came off fine. Was just a nod to the fact that we are both creators with big followings of n other platforms, so we know are stuff is good. We just need the numbers to catch up.
33:50 YESSS! When I started wearing my hair natural (just because I liked the way curls looked and I got tired of my mom having to regularly pay for my perms at the salon) the different treatment that I got from people who were close to me was almost traumatizing. They called me all kinds of names for just deciding to embrace my hair as it grew from my head. But almost 10 years later I am so thankful for the courage to stand out♥️
I can’t stop watching BECAUSE you are knitting. I love that you are having a knitting circle and talking about real things. I started a knitting group and had to leave after a few years because they didn’t want to talk about anything real. Sooooo boring. I 💗U2!
@@spunstricken9065 I literally found out there was a knitting group in my local library, and I walked in and nobody was talking to each other… I just walked out 😥
I was cooking and looking for something to listen to and no joke I stopped everything when I read the title and I really wasn't ready Am so sorry that happened to you
Was sewing a lining into my crochet cardigan when this gem of a video came up. Every sentence is blowing my mind. Thank you for such a vulnerable and insightful conversation! This reminds me of the kind of conversations I would have with my roommate in college at 3 am❤
@@KnittingCultLady Crafting for healing! My kitchen psychologist hypothesis: Crafting gives us a sense of self-actualization. And accomplishment. It can be beneficial for people who did not grow up with such feelings.
Such a great conversation. I have many relatable identity issues. Being newly retired with social security income has freed me tremendously and yet it would be so easy to become my own jailer. You two are very inspiring!
Hey! Thank you for this. Knitting isn't my thing necessarily, but sewing, specifically to repair the cheaply made clothes I wear because I'm poor (but I'm working on branching out into alterations and, eventually, making different garments out of things that don't serve me, like the "scarfigan" mentioned here -- I love that word), sometimes little cardboard projects, and some small woodwork, and occasionally molding, shaping, and welding scrap plastic, like HDPE grocery bags. I'm homeless, but couch surfing at the moment, and this hovel of a trailer needs quite a bit of help, so I'm gonna need to up my game to make a supported shelf set over the laundry nook/hall, which will need to be both bolted to the floor *and* glued to the paneling in order to stay stable... lots to do, lots to learn, but lots of space efficiency to reclaim (slobs live here and refuse to put anything in reasonable places, so it's just pure clutter everywhere), and maybe as I get stuff knocked out, I will be able to look and take pride in my work, too. Aaaanyway, I thought "white woman whisperer" was a hilarious and apt title. We really don't wanna be forced to look at the systems we support! It's understandable, coming from a place where we're asked to remain silent in order to avoid being punished, to not stand up for each other, to even condemn each other for falling out of step, but to resist or not, especially when black women would doubtless like to welcome us into the struggle with them, is our choice as well, and when we're not ready to accept accountability and see how we reproduce white supremacy and even misogyny to some degree, so that we can recognize the common struggle and actually work toward at least consciousness as a class of people, it's not exactly fair when black women aren't able to talk to us about their struggles with misogynoir, because our white feelings might get hurt. Enter the white woman whisperer! To work alongside someone using that handle shows both self-awareness and a good sense of humor. I dig it.
@@VitriolicVermillion for sure, the first time I saw that title I was like oh I need that! I have all the Goodwill in the world, but I still need someone to teach me
@@KnittingCultLady Don't we all? I probably won't wake up black and understanding the experience and how it all works any time soon, and even if that were possible, even within marginalized populations people can internalize the biases that our society teaches, so there will never be a time where I know everything there is to know about all forms of oppression. Even knowing what I know, I still am cruel to myself, if no one else, through internalized classism, homophobia, [trans]misogyny, and ableism.
What an interesting discussion to tune into while I'm struggling with the hyper-individualistic identity my family "blessed" me with while trying to incorporate a collective community without falling for a cult.
48:53 OMG!!!! This is mind blowing! I can’t count how often Im told I just have to work hard to work my way up. “you have to do the gruntwork so that you can enjoy other easier work later” break your body for the corporations who control the price of your food. I think Gen Z is waking up from it. Demanding more. Demanding better. Refusing to ruin or waste our best years for something that doesn’t serve us 1:04:31 What’s so hard is that it’s SO ingrained. I fight with the guilt that I’m not working as much as I could be and I’m not working enough to make the money I need or want. But I’m also paid minimum wage at a job that is 20 minutes from my home. On an average eight hour day I spend an additional two to three HOURS getting ready and driving and being sure I’m fed and that I know where I’m supposed to report. Not to mention how often I check “what time do I work again?” “am I gonna be late?” “how early do I need to start getting dressed in a literal costume to go to work?” And having nightmares about being late or bad customers or any number of other things. It’s craaaazy to start to unpack all that. Like why am I given 30 minutes to shove food in my face that I’m not paid for even though I’m at the job site still and it’s not really 30 minutes of my own time. Not to mention the fact that the drive time and the wear and tear on my personal car in order to get to and from work… It’s just such a jumbled mess!! I want my crochet business to blow up so I can enjoy my work and work when I’m ready to on things I’m passionate about and be able to fairly fully support anyone who helps me with my business
What an amazing conversation between women! I was “chosen” lol by my mental illness (Schizoaffective Disorder) from which I have had to learn to survive by my witts and using what tools that I had to survive cultural prejudices and poverty and there had been . . . as well as some brief cultural gifts of those brief places where you are allowed to breathe. It’s been a boat load of merde in general but in fact the mental illness has given me a place to always be able to jump off and be nothing but real and honest and not have to listen to whatever people need for me to conform to - some lie or such - - to get along. I have good things that have worked out; and so much that I had to let go of with much sadness: and so this is life.
It’s scary that it’s not just myths, cultural tropes, but that white shpremacy gives believers a cult like belonging ego boost. Before learning about the science of abuse I accepted my abusive partners doing immoral uncondonable things. Never spoke up because I would receive emotional abuse. Only educating myself on the psychology of abuse dynamics allowed me to have the bravery to oppose and remoove myself from their actions (gping no contact cutting ties) So I honestly find it hard to believe anyone partnered with a white supremacist would be unaware of their violent beliefs, but only had the bravery to oppose after leaving that person. De-radicalizing peoplefrom white supremacy is unimaginable work. Respect.
@@Sad_Bumper_Sticker I mean, when that person was 19 and just out of a totally separatist cult, they probably couldn’t tell. I think you are being a little harsh here and that you have no idea just how isolated and controlled I grew up.
@@Sad_Bumper_Sticker did you maybe miss the part where I hadn’t seen him or known anything about him in the decade that he was becoming a violent white supremacist?…
I'm not clear on why you find that hard to believe, especially as a fellow survivor of abuse. I was once engaged to a white supremacist. I didn't know until we were already engaged. He kept me extremely isolated, so I didn't see him interact with others, and he controlled my life down to the pace of my breathing (literally, yes), so we didn't have conversations he didn't feel like having. He didn't reveal his racist views to me until we were so far in that he thought he couldn't lose me. And yes, I really didn't know.
I think you really underestimate how much one person can hide something for another when they're really determined to, especially husbands from their wives. In fact, many white supremacists are hyperaware of how publicly unacceptable their beliefs are when expressed in an overt way. She's also stated how her husband seemed to view her as something to possess and attain him status as opposed to loving her. So it may well be that he didn't believe it necessary his wife share his views, because he viewed himself as the absolute authority in thier relationship. That's just my thoughts, but it feels bad faith to just assume 'Uh, yeah, like **that** could ever happen.' Also people don't seem to realize that white supremacists often have the abilty to blend with well-meaning but ignorant white people, because they know how to play the roles accepted of them, especially if an area has a primarily white population to begin with.
I have to disagree with the statement that change is somehow a red flag. In this context, sure, but I literally always thought I was straight until a few years ago. Meeting the right person can open you up to facets of yourself you didnt know about. If he had been in like, gay conversion therapy and attested to it working i would consider that a red flag though.
I am autistic AF. Math is my jam and numbers are very, very much how I relate to the world. I, too used to worship statistics and the written word. If it can't be proven with at least with a "six sigma" level of confidence then it's voodoo and dismissed just as easily. Age has taught me how to see the gray and taught me how to appreciate the power of art, poetry, music, prose, and faith. Maybe that's why I like Escher so so much.
@theknittinglady I finished a PhD 6 years ago, and I’m pretty sure that I got on the deconstruction kick because it resonated so much with my experience, both before and during the PhD. I got my ADHD diagnosis right after. I’m hoping to embark on a new career track soon on the mental health route. I wanted to say, good on you for doing the PhD work without the social framework. I would love to bring my knitting and connect with you, but respect that this is my parasocial wish. I look forward to following more of your work. @heywhitewoman thank you for your work. Please keep using your privilege to educate and do right by all your selves (8, 18, 80). I just found you but I’m going to follow you as well.
Very interesting thanks! Side note: GD! The piece on the left belongs in a museum! 🤯 What the heck are you crocheting that out of sewing thread?! 😂 The square on the right is great too!
I absolutely agree language is an evolving activity determined by the people who use it. However, I feel there's still value in agreeing on the language we use, I grant you having grammar police is boring; at the same time, IMO this is one of the reasons debates are not fruitful. Conceptualizing the language we use might help to at least understand what the other is thinking; or if not, cut the debate straight away because you can't agree on reality with the other person and avoid losing time and energy by continuing.
The part about institutional knowledge being bollocks and going to bollocks too was pure joy, I am so grateful I've found this channel, you two are being amongst my new most appreciated creators 🩷🩷 big up to the two of you🧡🧡💚💚
Man i just clicked on this video to have something in the background while I draw cute guys but this ended up being one of the most interesting conversations about white supremacy I've ever heard We tend to only talk about white supremacy and n/azism when it comes to direct oppression or violence. This video ended up linking dots I've had in my brain for a long time, the way we are obsessed with rules even when it comes to dictionary definitions leaves very little space for nuance, I don't think I can add anything meaningful but I am very glad I got this vid in my recommended. Keep up the good work 👍🏼 Anyways, this reminded me just how powerful individuality is, I already find my own personal identity and self expression to be essential within a system that demands conformity from you I'm about to get that freak shirt I always wanted and tell my friend to cut her hair (she likes it short but her family convinced her not to cut it) I just found this video inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with us, I even drew a lot more than usual lol ⭐
made me realize why I present myself the way that I do. i’m alt and i like wearing colorful, heavy makeup and i’m realizing that that presentation makes me feel confident bc i don’t fit into the traditional, docile, bystander- to- racism- and- homophobia white woman. i dress like i’d be loud and vocal, and wear multiple accessories bc my adhd brain likes the busyness and somehow, and i somehow dress in a way that doesn’t “look straight” (so i’ve been told). i like to express in a way that looks safe for neurodivergent, gay, gender queer, non- white ppl bc that’s how i feel. NOW i finally understand why other white ppl see my white skin and assume id be bigoted when they misunderstand my expression as such. it’s because i admire and appreciate cultural practices with everything in me and am extremely vocal about LGBTQ+ rights and they assume i’m the quiet, light beige, white woman and it’s disappointing and offensive that i could POSSIBLY present as a bigoted white person. I understand that i’m still white and that “spicy white” isn’t a thing and i would NEVER identify as a race other than white because i have experienced white privilege (and i’ve recognized that from open dialogue w friends and ppl of color). but i’m so much more than the white ppl that turn up their nose and diverse cultures.
In the IT world , it was uptime, all the tome. We would push our bodies and minds to be on par with the machines we maintained. If we burned out, oh well, you couldn't handle the kitchen heat. We especially my late husband, didn't want to be seen as weak. So, you can guess that the stress literally kill him , and gave me three autoimmune conditions.
@@mgold7503 this is the stuff that doesn’t get talk about or noticed. And all of a sudden, we’re all dying under the age of 60… Yeah, it’s all relevant to the control.
The partwhere you say that Gen Z is awake, I agree it has given this oldish cynic cause to hope. I would also point out that some Gen Xers are waking up to the fact that capitalism, the systems we were trained to *love, embrace , and perpetuate,* was literally killing us. I feel a lot of Gen X sounding like boomer lite, is expression of the feelings of betrayal and rage at a generational bait and switch. It is hard to acknowledge that you were conned nearly all of your life and to course correct. It has been the among the hardest work I've ever done. I am claiming my future.
@@mgold7503 yes, I think everyone is waking up, and for Gen X is going to be very hard because it has taken up a portion of your life. Q I’m always in awe of the boomers and X who are willing to do the deconstruction, because I do believe it is harder.
Audre Lorde really pinpointed some brutal truths when she spoke about "the age gap" being a tool of an oppressive society. I'm Gen X and we were told we would save the world, young people were the answer... and that everyone over 30 was gross and irrelevant. We crumbled under the pressure and we'd been cut off from life experience, and now we're 45+ ourselves... the bitter anger and self loathing of many of us is regrettably understandable, but what's so upsetting is seeing Gen Z get told the same thing. They're more awake but the pressure and isolation is, if anything, worse. And one day they'll be over 30 too... and their kids will be told they'll save the world...
So many of my millennial Midwestern, born friends and family who are women are just really going through it. I think we’re all gonna be good out the other end though.
I am growing up as a white girl in a mostly black and brown area, and I was the autistic kid with really good grades. People would tell me I could/would do great things, and I would constantly feel like they were wrong. They didn't see all of my systems and anxieties and nights of crying and hyperventilating over what? I was rarely even sure why I was upset, but my loved ones would ask for a reason (so they could solve the problem) and I would give them one, the first plausible thing I could think of. Usually, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and so they would flick the straw off and ask me why I wasn't getting up. How could I help to solve the problems of the world when I couldn't deal with my own, even with help? And I could see the women around me, the girls around me doing important things. They were taking care of little siblings, learning to drive, organizing events in and out of school, making sure everyone in the friend group could call anyone else, filling the roles of girlfriends and wives and mothers and secretaries and principals and teachers and seamstresses and so, much, more. I would think, "Why can't they do it? They already do so much that i can't, why would they not be in high places?" But they called me exceptional. I decided, I would be. By being low in the world's eyes, and working for those women and their loved ones. Not the white savior, but the white servant, who listens and stays in the background and helps people the ways they know will help them. I don't need all the answers or to solve every problem, I need to experience love going both ways. Very often. Maybe the idea above can be part of that, but it also doesn't need to be. This is very long and without much coherence, but this video did make me feel a bit freer.
I'm on a fashion journey and it's so important to me. Growing up Baptist, I was taught to be so conservative. I'm a deacon's daughter, and I just had to present modestly. Continued through college and the professional world. I'm 40 and tired lol I just want to be me. I don't know what that is exactly but I'm excited to get to know her. I'm going to my first Halloween party next month and I'm dressing up. Daniella, I could literally explode due to my excitement 😂 I'm so excited for meeee. You mean I can dress like anything. My heart is dancing on the moon!
We do tend to fall for what we are familiar with. We were abused, we fall for abusers. It's a toxic cycle. If you realize 1 situation, then analyze all of your life choices.. because is not just 1. Rethink all your life choices. Look hard to recognize the red flags you missed. Be honest with yourself... because if you do not, you will continue to repeat the same mistakes by not recognize them when they are wearing other sheep's clothes. (this may not have made much sense.. sorry I am going down the algorithm and revisiting some dark times from decades ago)
As an artist I can say that you don't start with a blank white canvas, you paint it with gesso or some kind of color to act as a ground and to lend richness. Great analogy.
16:35. We come into existence at -1 not 1. We are never blank. 40:07 Freud / Kagan named this chasing death drive. Does not mean trying to die rather the internal engine toward and back that is in us as humans. Of course with humans with ultimate toward will be living toward death. 47:40 see Dr. Nancy Fraser capitalism also runs on our atomization as individuals rather than our reliance on one another - our work together. The value in capitalism literally comes from the addition achieved with working together. This is where the diversion takes place. Contradictions- the name of the game.
Sorbian is the language of a Slavic population that had migrated into Germany at least by the 7th century. Given German-Slavic ethnic cleansing it is a weird choice.
@@nathanrohde3440 it’s because the white supremacists have decided that Christianity isn’t racist enough, so they are going back to “religions” that were all white. It has nothing to do with the ethnic cleansing, they would just ignore that.
@@henrim9348 yes! Also donating, also using my veteran status. However, the blue team wants to sling it around that helps them. I hope you’re also doing your best!
@@KnittingCultLady Oh yes. I live in a swing state. It's very important for all Women ( but especially White women) to vote to protect their reproductive rights.
I liked the tangent about clothing as a signifier against the beige white supremacy outfit because I do that after growing up in a church/homeschool community that was pretty repressive/beige. I started dressing weird in high school. Weird clothes prevent people from perceiving me as a WASP TM copyright. My bright green frog overalls are my Armor of God now beyotch
Hey, Sorb here. My ears piqued when you talked about the username coming from the Sorbian language. This might be a misunderstanding on my part, since Sorbian is an active language, in fact comprised of Upper and Lower Sorbian and it is a Slawic, not Germanic language (however most speakers reside in current day Germany). I could not find a word similar to nebor, at least not in current day use, fighter is translated to "wojowar" and "wójowaŕ" respectively. If you did mean Sorbian, it would be a reather funny choice of name for a white supremacist, seeing as Sorbs were prosecuted by the Nazis.
@@viv4272 yes, I’ve been told that Serbian is not a good language, but I’m not going to pretend to understand the inner workings of the white supremacist mind anymore than that. They think nebor means fighter in a language they have decided is white enough for them to love. (, of course choosing any language that is ironic because White is made up.)
@@viv4272 no, Sorbian, that was a talk to text error. It was all over the brief and legal documents that I was given, but it was a “dead language” I did not research that detail further because I haven’t actually written the full book- although it’s definitely the detailed I got him kicked out of the military. I’m glad that I talked about it on here so that people who knew could correct me.
Sorbian is a West Slavic language, that is very much alive, German, along with English are West Germanic. Sorbs are a minority group who the Nazis persecuted and tried to force assimilate them. The Nazis viewed Slavic peoples as subhuman and inferior. Some were to be assimilated the others gotten rid of.
I'm going to leave a comment after I've taken the whole video in, but man I gotta say how much the barbie allegory at 19:53 is so poignant (I am also neurodivergent! AuAdhd and OCD). It's especially interesting to me in how it resonates, as a (white) gay trans man. Because for me, my unconcious feeling about having to 'pick a barbie' was either "I wish I could just flip the table with all the Barbies on it and go live in the woods as a feral forest creature" or "I gotta minmax and choose the strongest and most powerful Barbie possible to make myself as close to comfortable as I can be while dealing with having to live as a girl/woman" But after awhile even the latter became untenable and I felt very 'broken' in my sense of gender as a young teen, prior to knowing what transness was, then subsequently socially transitioning at 15 and medically starting at 18. I won't go on about me too much longer here since it's not really the main point of the video, just wanted to share how the allegory also resonated with me and give another perspective!
I am a 65 year old light skinned black woman with purple hair. Having the bright purple hair has really helped me show who i am. I never fit in with black people or white people. For me, It's about the energy of people. I also truly have no desire to fit in.
@@mswetra2610 I love the power of like bold colors, and wacky outfits to just make it obvious that you’re not trying to fit in. I think it works so well ❤️
Could someone please illuminate my color blindness about "who cares about his sexual fluidity"? I just found out about this channel and even just the title is great😊
@@janlaag that I didn’t care if he was straight, or bisexual, or had previously slept with men. He was choosing to be with me, and I trusted that. Most straight people can’t really comprehend that choice.
@@KnittingCultLady yes yes thank you, I understand that, I was actually just wondering what that means in a "red flag" kind of way because I am also someone who doesn't really care so I wonder maybe I am color blind to something 😅 Thank you for getting back this fast by the way! I am still watching this one, almost midway through right now. Have a beautiful day🩷
@@joannesmemoir um, because was a teenager that literally had never been exposed to the world, because I was raised in prison in a sex cult?!? that’s why we’re deconstructing this
I live in a constant state of anxiety that I will make a spelling error. I never knew that was white supremacy. It makes so much sense. I'm dyslexic and Jewish.
It freaked me out that I'm crocheting and this gets recomended to me omg. Btw have you just said serbian is a dead germanic language. serbian is a slavic language and it's not dead. i know that's not the point of the video but yeah...sorry Glad this channel got recomended to me.
I have been sitting here for, like, 3 days trying to figure out what the YT was in all your video titles. I use YT to abbreviate TH-cam, so I've been trying to figure out why you'd make a video title about TH-cam supremacists, but never mention the platform's name in the podcast. I was listening and listening hoping you'd define it because I couldn't figure out exactly what TH-cam supremacist was. I just suddenly got it. Derp. Now I feel both amused and stupid. I hate how language has become so obscured on this platform because of advertisers and the algorithm.
I can't see the grammar thing as a white supremacy thing. Usually, when people resort to that during an argument, it's bc they know they can't win by debating the actual topic, so they deflect by jumping on any minor error you make.
@@KnittingCultLady it’s even more distracting than “um” to me. It’s unnecessary and jarring (almost like if someone called my name twice per sentence because it sounds like requesting a response) and she probably doesn’t realize how frequently she is doing it. Her speech would sound better if she would be more comfortable with some silence in between clauses rather than filling them with “right?” which hints at some insecurity and need for approval still, so it is relevant to her history.
@@AutumnSwatches I’m the her, and you’re a dick. Unless you have an extremely successful book, multiple social media channels and two podcasts, please keep your negative opinions to yourself. There was a whole lot of anti racist, important content, the fact you chose to focus on filler words says a lot about the person you are. Have a day. 🤦♀️🫡
@@KnittingCultLady now you’re masculinizing a Black woman with your “brosephine” jab? Geeze, you couldn’t keep up the facade of being who you try to be for even a few minutes. You just had to expose yourself. You’re pathetic
These poor women are lost but there is hope. The Church of Scientology can help them find their way to the truth. It can unlock their full human potential and free then from the dark forces that hold them back from their full human potential. They can live the life of their dreams. Scientology is the key. All they have to do is open the door.
Check out the "videobook" I wrote after finding out about him: UnAmerican www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal/shop/unamerican-video-book-memoir-217440?Link&
@@KnittingCultLady Just bought your video book and I'll be sure to review. I adore your content.
@@carolinemullan2781 thank you so much. I will be interested to hear your thoughts.
As someone who joined the black version of a Christian fundamentalist group, if your fundamental assumptions are that they can't be this way, you will either miss or dismiss (rationalize) their behavior as something else. Although the signs were clear as day, I never noticed until I had left.
@@RobertJones-gq3jq yes, so true
I grew up in a cult and spent my time in it telling myself "yeah, this place sucks, but at least it's not a cult like some other places." I suppose at the time I felt it had to be the super obvious signs like living in a compound and dressing the same. It was only once I got out that I realized what I really grew up in.
@@whatamidoing9841 I feel like anytime we say “ I grew up in….” (Referring to a group/ not location) it’s more culty than we realize. Like, my child is not growing up “in” any group….💔
As an afrolatina who is neurodivergent and grew up mega culty latin christian in NYC, who dresses "weird" and had unicorn 34th bday, and a rocking chair I feel very seen and heard
@@OneidaGC OMG! I love unicorn 34th birthday! ❤️❤️❤️🦄🦄🦄
❤🔥 I'm a twenty one year old trans guy with autism and ADHD, and your upbringing sounds hard, but the unicorn birthday GOES HARD
Sending you all the best wishes
Right? Can't comment too soon cause a lot is going down 😉
The fact that this was recommended to me while I’m knitting seems extra fortuitous
@@rosellem88 ❤️❤️❤️thanks for watching
The "I started doing it to myself" really resinated with me. I realized I was queer, somewhat, as a child. I am both genderqueer and not straight and puberty was pretty difficult for me. I had a mentally ill parent and started to think that maybe there was something wrong with me metally that I could not be "like everyone else". If I don't fit the gender binary, "who am I supposed to like". So, I leaned very hard into trying to be my birth assigned gender and follow the "straight" path from there. It was me married and a parent, decades later, that it all started to unravel.
You would probably really appreciate this book: Worthy: the Memoir of an ExMormon Lesbian, by Chris Davis
bookshop.org/a/104058/9798887970561
I just finished reviewing it on my other socials, and it is excellent, and sounds like you hit much of the same story points.
Who assigned you?
Similar happened to me. I didn’t have the language to understand that I am non binary so I thought something was wrong with me. Even my choice of clothes were different to the norm so I was unfairly judged, the same that you were saying. I guess it is a long journey for all of us but we need to deconstruct these labels to be free. 🥰
Wowowow. The algorithm served this gem up to me this morning... not sure which keyword did it - cult stuff? social justice and race? Neurodivergence and explicitly refusing to fit in? knitting? in any case, I'm off to listen to the other episodes already out, and I'm looking forward to future episodes. I sat and did some hand stitching while listening and it felt like I was sitting with friends talking about topics that are important and interesting to me. KEEP IT COMING!
@@phoenixflamefeather thank you so much! ❤️
Lol. Same. Algorithm served it up and I watch all the same things as you except for the knitting. I’m a quilter.
I found her via the Cults to Consciousness channel. So glad I did.
@@JeantheSecond-ip7qm I was hand stitching a binding on a baby quilt today :)
I think quilting and embroidery got me here😂😂😂 how lucky❤
As someone who is AuDHD, I grew up before these diagnoses and when I was younger, all I wanted was to be "normal" because I knew I was an outsider. Got over that, but I continued to want to be accepted for me. Until this discussion, I hadn't realised how much of the way I dress is a carry over from that early imprinting. I do some unusual things... for example, I was wearing men's pajama flannels as trousers years before the culture, the same for men's sock (to have short winter socks instead of knee socks, and I was wearing women lingerie as dresses. These were cotton dresses in the lingerie section of the stores. Cheaper, more fun. But for the most part, I've looked like a soccer mom but less sporty half the time. Not when I was working in jobs where I had to be professional looking. There, I used more color, and was stylish, but still trying to fit. I've never felt like I found a style that was me. I dress for comfort now (I'm retired) and that's all that matters.
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS so interesting the journey that thinking about how we dress takes us
Fuck it, I'm buying myself platforms, that's so cool!!
amazing video. just wanted to chime in: Sorbian is actually neither germanic nor dead. it's a minority language in the east of germany, that belongs to the west-slavic languages. Sorbs are one of the only officially recognized minorities in germany
@@EvenTheEevee oh thank you. I had only heard of it in connection with this and that was what I had read. Should probably change that part in my manuscript🫡.
@@KnittingCultLady In the Sorbic areas you can even choose Sorbic as a subject at school. There is a lively Sorbic culture.
It's a shame that their language is being appropriated by hateful people.
I'm interested in that, "what're you going to be?" thing. I had to realise that I already am what I'm "going to be"...Just a person, not a profession, not my education, not my gender or sexuality. Those are all parts of my identity, to be sure, but I'm good and fine and whole and enough just now, right where I'm at, even if I'm not "perfect". Whatever the fuck that means, lol.
Excellent chat.
@@salaltschul3604 so well said
@@salaltschul3604 yes! Perfect is a myth anyway. Thanks for watching.
This was really interesting! I absolutely adore the concept of a podcast where you do crafty hobbies with a friend while talking about such heavy things. You have a fascinating story and I’m glad this William guy is not in the army anymore
Thank you. I'm so glad too. I'm also thrilled that we are finding all the crafters :)
22:45 love this bit from Rebecca, the phrase "commodification of the soul" really hit hard
For me the I used to be gay vs "i used to think i was gay" is a pink flag. One sees sexuality as a binary and can frame being gay as bad. Two I'm bi and though i know every one jokes about repressed closet case homophobes but i know being a repressed bisexual allows for componded cognitive dissonance. Because you have hetero classed attractions the denial and repression is easier to fall into yet of course the desire is still outside of your control so you double down on repression until you blow up. It also means you can trick yourself that conversion therapy works and entrench yourself in patterns of self harm.
*Though fluidity means someone can experience a " i was this orientation and now I'm this" but the language used is usually a lot more curious and flexible than "I'm no longer gay".*
Note it's a pink flag for someone needing help or hurting, not necessarily dangerous. Though in the context of this case....
@@mellowthm566 really appreciate this explanation, I learned a lot.
It's wild hearing you talk about finally getting to dress the way you want after you left him. Speaking as someone else who divorced a white supremacist, when I went to his place to get my stuff back, I made sure to go there with piercings he wouldn't let me wear. Not sure if I also had my first tattoo by that point, but I made sure to look such a way that he knew I know I can now be myself and I am not going back under his controlling hands. I would not be surprised if he's in the closet too. My own coming out as bisexual resulted in the end of our marriage. Should have come out sooner.
@@whatamidoing9841 I love the concept of “dressing in a way that they know they don’t own us anymore.” Would love to put this sentiment in the book chapter I just wrote. Would that be okay with you? I could quote you or do ‘anonymous’?
@@KnittingCultLady Anonymous would be great! I went through six years of hell with my ex and if anything can help anyone else get out of the same situation I went through, I'm for it 100%.
Disgusting. Hope you didn’t have any kids.
Being Jewish in the south has been interesting. The white people don't quite like or trust me but can't place why, the black people like me more than the white people do but warily. It's been painful to learn that I will never fit in here, but freeing too. I, like many, have embraced being the neighborhood eccentric who takes her spinning to the bus stop to pick up the kids.
So you’re pretending to not understand why white people don’t like you.
A lot of what you guys said really resonated with me as a trans person and has really helped me reflect
@@iviesinvision thank you. So glad you’re here
35:41 "there's a human in there... but he's not being fed" omg this line!
this is a really great conversation and touches on a lot of really juicy points.
@4:35 wow i can see what youre knitting and its so intricate and beautiful!!! Where can i find what you knit?
@@Junitunes I’m pretty sure I show off what it is right toward the end of the video
@@KnittingCultLady I meant do you post pictures?
1:02:52 😮 this is why people can justify harsher punishments for any crimes. As free people, we have so few freedoms.
Oh how the algorithm has blessed me this morning❤
Love this whole video. So so so many great points. Too many to mention in one comment. Best collaboration ever 💕💕💕
Hi Melanie! Awesome to see you here! ❤
How does this channel have so few subscribers? This story and insight is brilliant.
@@SarahHorner we’re brand new ❤️. Def hoping to grow. Please tell your friends
@@KnittingCultLady Feels good to be listening at the start. Sorry if I came off as critical - I think this is a great conversation and I want more people to hear it and recognise themselves in it.
@@SarahHorner you came off fine. Was just a nod to the fact that we are both creators with big followings of n other platforms, so we know are stuff is good. We just need the numbers to catch up.
33:50 YESSS! When I started wearing my hair natural (just because I liked the way curls looked and I got tired of my mom having to regularly pay for my perms at the salon) the different treatment that I got from people who were close to me was almost traumatizing. They called me all kinds of names for just deciding to embrace my hair as it grew from my head. But almost 10 years later I am so thankful for the courage to stand out♥️
I can’t stop watching BECAUSE you are knitting. I love that you are having a knitting circle and talking about real things. I started a knitting group and had to leave after a few years because they didn’t want to talk about anything real. Sooooo boring. I 💗U2!
@@spunstricken9065 I literally found out there was a knitting group in my local library, and I walked in and nobody was talking to each other… I just walked out 😥
@@spunstricken9065 thank you for watching. We hope to be here every week knitting away. 😍
@@spunstricken9065 ooof, yes boring, thanks for being here
I was cooking and looking for something to listen to and no joke I stopped everything when I read the title and I really wasn't ready
Am so sorry that happened to you
@@ha3908 appreciate you ❤️
Was sewing a lining into my crochet cardigan when this gem of a video came up. Every sentence is blowing my mind. Thank you for such a vulnerable and insightful conversation! This reminds me of the kind of conversations I would have with my roommate in college at 3 am❤
@@heatherlee2047 I just love how all of the crafty people are finding us. Thanks for listening.❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@KnittingCultLady Crafting for healing!
My kitchen psychologist hypothesis: Crafting gives us a sense of self-actualization. And accomplishment. It can be beneficial for people who did not grow up with such feelings.
@@johannageisel5390 yes, so true
Such a great conversation. I have many relatable identity issues. Being newly retired with social security income has freed me tremendously and yet it would be so easy to become my own jailer. You two are very inspiring!
Wow there were so many points in this podcast that really hit me
@@wanderingwithriver thank you for listening
Hey! Thank you for this. Knitting isn't my thing necessarily, but sewing, specifically to repair the cheaply made clothes I wear because I'm poor (but I'm working on branching out into alterations and, eventually, making different garments out of things that don't serve me, like the "scarfigan" mentioned here -- I love that word), sometimes little cardboard projects, and some small woodwork, and occasionally molding, shaping, and welding scrap plastic, like HDPE grocery bags. I'm homeless, but couch surfing at the moment, and this hovel of a trailer needs quite a bit of help, so I'm gonna need to up my game to make a supported shelf set over the laundry nook/hall, which will need to be both bolted to the floor *and* glued to the paneling in order to stay stable... lots to do, lots to learn, but lots of space efficiency to reclaim (slobs live here and refuse to put anything in reasonable places, so it's just pure clutter everywhere), and maybe as I get stuff knocked out, I will be able to look and take pride in my work, too.
Aaaanyway, I thought "white woman whisperer" was a hilarious and apt title. We really don't wanna be forced to look at the systems we support! It's understandable, coming from a place where we're asked to remain silent in order to avoid being punished, to not stand up for each other, to even condemn each other for falling out of step, but to resist or not, especially when black women would doubtless like to welcome us into the struggle with them, is our choice as well, and when we're not ready to accept accountability and see how we reproduce white supremacy and even misogyny to some degree, so that we can recognize the common struggle and actually work toward at least consciousness as a class of people, it's not exactly fair when black women aren't able to talk to us about their struggles with misogynoir, because our white feelings might get hurt. Enter the white woman whisperer! To work alongside someone using that handle shows both self-awareness and a good sense of humor. I dig it.
@@VitriolicVermillion for sure, the first time I saw that title I was like oh I need that! I have all the Goodwill in the world, but I still need someone to teach me
@@KnittingCultLady Don't we all? I probably won't wake up black and understanding the experience and how it all works any time soon, and even if that were possible, even within marginalized populations people can internalize the biases that our society teaches, so there will never be a time where I know everything there is to know about all forms of oppression. Even knowing what I know, I still am cruel to myself, if no one else, through internalized classism, homophobia, [trans]misogyny, and ableism.
What an interesting discussion to tune into while I'm struggling with the hyper-individualistic identity my family "blessed" me with while trying to incorporate a collective community without falling for a cult.
I’m so excited you have a podcast. TH-cam recommended this to me too!
48:53 OMG!!!! This is mind blowing! I can’t count how often Im told I just have to work hard to work my way up. “you have to do the gruntwork so that you can enjoy other easier work later” break your body for the corporations who control the price of your food. I think Gen Z is waking up from it. Demanding more. Demanding better. Refusing to ruin or waste our best years for something that doesn’t serve us
1:04:31 What’s so hard is that it’s SO ingrained. I fight with the guilt that I’m not working as much as I could be and I’m not working enough to make the money I need or want. But I’m also paid minimum wage at a job that is 20 minutes from my home. On an average eight hour day I spend an additional two to three HOURS getting ready and driving and being sure I’m fed and that I know where I’m supposed to report. Not to mention how often I check “what time do I work again?” “am I gonna be late?” “how early do I need to start getting dressed in a literal costume to go to work?” And having nightmares about being late or bad customers or any number of other things. It’s craaaazy to start to unpack all that. Like why am I given 30 minutes to shove food in my face that I’m not paid for even though I’m at the job site still and it’s not really 30 minutes of my own time. Not to mention the fact that the drive time and the wear and tear on my personal car in order to get to and from work… It’s just such a jumbled mess!! I want my crochet business to blow up so I can enjoy my work and work when I’m ready to on things I’m passionate about and be able to fairly fully support anyone who helps me with my business
@@rosie678100 it is very hard. Capitalism is breaking people 😞
In the IT world , it was uptime, all the tome. We would push our bodies and minds to be on par with the machines we maintained.
Wow! I love the 'painting with water' comment!
This was an excellent conversation!
What an amazing conversation between women!
I was “chosen” lol by my mental illness (Schizoaffective Disorder) from which I have had to learn to survive by my witts and using what tools that I had to survive cultural prejudices and poverty and there had been . . . as well as some brief cultural gifts of those brief places where you are allowed to breathe. It’s been a boat load of merde in general but in fact the mental illness has given me a place to always be able to jump off and be nothing but real and honest and not have to listen to whatever people need for me to conform to - some lie or such - - to get along. I have good things that have worked out; and so much that I had to let go of with much sadness: and so this is life.
It’s scary that it’s not just myths, cultural tropes, but that white shpremacy gives believers a cult like belonging ego boost.
Before learning about the science of abuse I accepted my abusive partners doing immoral uncondonable things. Never spoke up because I would receive emotional abuse. Only educating myself on the psychology of abuse dynamics allowed me to have the bravery to oppose and remoove myself from their actions (gping no contact cutting ties)
So I honestly find it hard to believe anyone partnered with a white supremacist would be unaware of their violent beliefs, but only had the bravery to oppose after leaving that person.
De-radicalizing peoplefrom white supremacy is unimaginable work. Respect.
@@Sad_Bumper_Sticker I mean, when that person was 19 and just out of a totally separatist cult, they probably couldn’t tell. I think you are being a little harsh here and that you have no idea just how isolated and controlled I grew up.
@@Sad_Bumper_Sticker did you maybe miss the part where I hadn’t seen him or known anything about him in the decade that he was becoming a violent white supremacist?…
I'm not clear on why you find that hard to believe, especially as a fellow survivor of abuse.
I was once engaged to a white supremacist. I didn't know until we were already engaged. He kept me extremely isolated, so I didn't see him interact with others, and he controlled my life down to the pace of my breathing (literally, yes), so we didn't have conversations he didn't feel like having. He didn't reveal his racist views to me until we were so far in that he thought he couldn't lose me. And yes, I really didn't know.
I think you really underestimate how much one person can hide something for another when they're really determined to, especially husbands from their wives. In fact, many white supremacists are hyperaware of how publicly unacceptable their beliefs are when expressed in an overt way. She's also stated how her husband seemed to view her as something to possess and attain him status as opposed to loving her. So it may well be that he didn't believe it necessary his wife share his views, because he viewed himself as the absolute authority in thier relationship.
That's just my thoughts, but it feels bad faith to just assume 'Uh, yeah, like **that** could ever happen.'
Also people don't seem to realize that white supremacists often have the abilty to blend with well-meaning but ignorant white people, because they know how to play the roles accepted of them, especially if an area has a primarily white population to begin with.
it took me a few minutes to realize, but then i was like, "oh shit, i've heard of this guy 👀"
I have to disagree with the statement that change is somehow a red flag. In this context, sure, but I literally always thought I was straight until a few years ago. Meeting the right person can open you up to facets of yourself you didnt know about. If he had been in like, gay conversion therapy and attested to it working i would consider that a red flag though.
@@YouWinTheAward yeah, I didn’t mean it like that, just that I obviously knew he hadn’t just stopped being gay altogether.
I am autistic AF. Math is my jam and numbers are very, very much how I relate to the world. I, too used to worship statistics and the written word. If it can't be proven with at least with a "six sigma" level of confidence then it's voodoo and dismissed just as easily.
Age has taught me how to see the gray and taught me how to appreciate the power of art, poetry, music, prose, and faith.
Maybe that's why I like Escher so so much.
I knew of him from hearing about him on reddit, I never knew about the other history behind him, interesting.
@@youjustgotcarled I never knew anything about the Reddit stuff til the army contacted me, but I’ve run into others like you who knew about it.
What’s the Reddit thread
@theknittinglady I finished a PhD 6 years ago, and I’m pretty sure that I got on the deconstruction kick because it resonated so much with my experience, both before and during the PhD. I got my ADHD diagnosis right after. I’m hoping to embark on a new career track soon on the mental health route. I wanted to say, good on you for doing the PhD work without the social framework. I would love to bring my knitting and connect with you, but respect that this is my parasocial wish. I look forward to following more of your work.
@heywhitewoman thank you for your work. Please keep using your privilege to educate and do right by all your selves (8, 18, 80). I just found you but I’m going to follow you as well.
I am starting to go live quite a bit. Welcome to come knit with me anytime
@@KnittingCultLady I will! … thank you, I got both of your handles wrong 😬
Very interesting thanks!
Side note: GD! The piece on the left belongs in a museum! 🤯 What the heck are you crocheting that out of sewing thread?! 😂 The square on the right is great too!
@@PossumMedic I almost always use thread, because it makes it so much finer than yarn ❤️❤️❤️
@@KnittingCultLady, you must have very good eyesight!
I absolutely agree language is an evolving activity determined by the people who use it. However, I feel there's still value in agreeing on the language we use, I grant you having grammar police is boring; at the same time, IMO this is one of the reasons debates are not fruitful. Conceptualizing the language we use might help to at least understand what the other is thinking; or if not, cut the debate straight away because you can't agree on reality with the other person and avoid losing time and energy by continuing.
What is written has the potential to become a thought prison.
So glad the algorithm offered up you guys! I feel you ladies in my bones ❤
The part about institutional knowledge being bollocks and going to bollocks too was pure joy, I am so grateful I've found this channel, you two are being amongst my new most appreciated creators 🩷🩷 big up to the two of you🧡🧡💚💚
@@janlaag thank you ❤️
Man i just clicked on this video to have something in the background while I draw cute guys but this ended up being one of the most interesting conversations about white supremacy I've ever heard
We tend to only talk about white supremacy and n/azism when it comes to direct oppression or violence. This video ended up linking dots I've had in my brain for a long time, the way we are obsessed with rules even when it comes to dictionary definitions leaves very little space for nuance, I don't think I can add anything meaningful but I am very glad I got this vid in my recommended. Keep up the good work 👍🏼
Anyways, this reminded me just how powerful individuality is, I already find my own personal identity and self expression to be essential within a system that demands conformity from you
I'm about to get that freak shirt I always wanted and tell my friend to cut her hair (she likes it short but her family convinced her not to cut it) I just found this video inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with us, I even drew a lot more than usual lol ⭐
@@thirdwheel9938 I’m so thrilled we are finding all the artists ❤️ and that you found our conversation worthwhile
made me realize why I present myself the way that I do. i’m alt and i like wearing colorful, heavy makeup and i’m realizing that that presentation makes me feel confident bc i don’t fit into the traditional, docile, bystander- to- racism- and- homophobia white woman. i dress like i’d be loud and vocal, and wear multiple accessories bc my adhd brain likes the busyness and somehow, and i somehow dress in a way that doesn’t “look straight” (so i’ve been told). i like to express in a way that looks safe for neurodivergent, gay, gender queer, non- white ppl bc that’s how i feel.
NOW i finally understand why other white ppl see my white skin and assume id be bigoted when they misunderstand my expression as such. it’s because i admire and appreciate cultural practices with everything in me and am extremely vocal about LGBTQ+ rights and they assume i’m the quiet, light beige, white woman and it’s disappointing and offensive that i could POSSIBLY present as a bigoted white person.
I understand that i’m still white and that “spicy white” isn’t a thing and i would NEVER identify as a race other than white because i have experienced white privilege (and i’ve recognized that from open dialogue w friends and ppl of color). but i’m so much more than the white ppl that turn up their nose and diverse cultures.
In the IT world , it was uptime, all the tome. We would push our bodies and minds to be on par with the machines we maintained. If we burned out, oh well, you couldn't handle the kitchen heat. We especially my late husband, didn't want to be seen as weak. So, you can guess that the stress literally kill him , and gave me three autoimmune conditions.
@@mgold7503 this is the stuff that doesn’t get talk about or noticed. And all of a sudden, we’re all dying under the age of 60… Yeah, it’s all relevant to the control.
The partwhere you say that Gen Z is awake, I agree it has given this oldish cynic cause to hope. I would also point out that some Gen Xers are waking up to the fact that capitalism, the systems we were trained to *love, embrace , and perpetuate,* was literally killing us. I feel a lot of Gen X sounding like boomer lite, is expression of the feelings of betrayal and rage at a generational bait and switch.
It is hard to acknowledge that you were conned nearly all of your life and to course correct. It has been the among the hardest work I've ever done. I am claiming my future.
@@mgold7503 yes, I think everyone is waking up, and for Gen X is going to be very hard because it has taken up a portion of your life. Q I’m always in awe of the boomers and X who are willing to do the deconstruction, because I do believe it is harder.
Audre Lorde really pinpointed some brutal truths when she spoke about "the age gap" being a tool of an oppressive society. I'm Gen X and we were told we would save the world, young people were the answer... and that everyone over 30 was gross and irrelevant. We crumbled under the pressure and we'd been cut off from life experience, and now we're 45+ ourselves... the bitter anger and self loathing of many of us is regrettably understandable, but what's so upsetting is seeing Gen Z get told the same thing. They're more awake but the pressure and isolation is, if anything, worse. And one day they'll be over 30 too... and their kids will be told they'll save the world...
@@storageheater very good point
So many of my millennial Midwestern, born friends and family who are women are just really going through it. I think we’re all gonna be good out the other end though.
holy shit. I just paused at 11:00 , and googled my partners username bc same and found he is cheating on me.........................
I am growing up as a white girl in a mostly black and brown area, and I was the autistic kid with really good grades. People would tell me I could/would do great things, and I would constantly feel like they were wrong. They didn't see all of my systems and anxieties and nights of crying and hyperventilating over what? I was rarely even sure why I was upset, but my loved ones would ask for a reason (so they could solve the problem) and I would give them one, the first plausible thing I could think of. Usually, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and so they would flick the straw off and ask me why I wasn't getting up.
How could I help to solve the problems of the world when I couldn't deal with my own, even with help?
And I could see the women around me, the girls around me doing important things. They were taking care of little siblings, learning to drive, organizing events in and out of school, making sure everyone in the friend group could call anyone else, filling the roles of girlfriends and wives and mothers and secretaries and principals and teachers and seamstresses and so, much, more. I would think, "Why can't they do it? They already do so much that i can't, why would they not be in high places?"
But they called me exceptional. I decided, I would be. By being low in the world's eyes, and working for those women and their loved ones. Not the white savior, but the white servant, who listens and stays in the background and helps people the ways they know will help them.
I don't need all the answers or to solve every problem, I need to experience love going both ways. Very often. Maybe the idea above can be part of that, but it also doesn't need to be.
This is very long and without much coherence, but this video did make me feel a bit freer.
I'm on a fashion journey and it's so important to me. Growing up Baptist, I was taught to be so conservative. I'm a deacon's daughter, and I just had to present modestly. Continued through college and the professional world. I'm 40 and tired lol I just want to be me. I don't know what that is exactly but I'm excited to get to know her.
I'm going to my first Halloween party next month and I'm dressing up. Daniella, I could literally explode due to my excitement 😂 I'm so excited for meeee. You mean I can dress like anything. My heart is dancing on the moon!
@@Britneylg yes you can!!!! Absolutely anything!
I love how you both are deconstructing all this stuff. I grew up in the middle of the Roman Catholicism aspect of stuff.
it makes sense... and yet.. WTF???
I am here for this❤
We do tend to fall for what we are familiar with. We were abused, we fall for abusers. It's a toxic cycle. If you realize 1 situation, then analyze all of your life choices.. because is not just 1. Rethink all your life choices. Look hard to recognize the red flags you missed. Be honest with yourself... because if you do not, you will continue to repeat the same mistakes by not recognize them when they are wearing other sheep's clothes. (this may not have made much sense.. sorry I am going down the algorithm and revisiting some dark times from decades ago)
I would suggest putting the title of your podcast and maybe numbering the episodes?
Thank you, will do!
That title! 😲
As an artist I can say that you don't start with a blank white canvas, you paint it with gesso or some kind of color to act as a ground and to lend richness. Great analogy.
@@carolinemullan2781 true, just nobody wants that expense teaching a paint and sip class. But when I paint, for sure I do that.
9:19 kind of hilarious that they did it in powerpoint, so military
@@eustatic3832 yes 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You just picture them arguing about which format they’re going to use
Love it ❤❤❤
16:35. We come into existence at -1 not 1. We are never blank.
40:07 Freud / Kagan named this chasing death drive. Does not mean trying to die rather the internal engine toward and back that is in us as humans. Of course with humans with ultimate toward will be living toward death.
47:40 see Dr. Nancy Fraser
capitalism also runs on our atomization as individuals rather than our reliance on one another - our work together. The value in capitalism literally comes from the addition achieved with working together. This is where the diversion takes place. Contradictions- the name of the game.
WHAT
Sorbian is the language of a Slavic population that had migrated into Germany at least by the 7th century. Given German-Slavic ethnic cleansing it is a weird choice.
@@nathanrohde3440 it’s because the white supremacists have decided that Christianity isn’t racist enough, so they are going back to “religions” that were all white. It has nothing to do with the ethnic cleansing, they would just ignore that.
Are you organizing/ encouraging your listening audience to vote in November?
@@henrim9348 yes! Also donating, also using my veteran status. However, the blue team wants to sling it around that helps them. I hope you’re also doing your best!
@@KnittingCultLady Oh yes. I live in a swing state. It's very important for all Women ( but especially White women) to vote to protect their reproductive rights.
thank you algorithm!
I liked the tangent about clothing as a signifier against the beige white supremacy outfit because I do that after growing up in a church/homeschool community that was pretty repressive/beige. I started dressing weird in high school. Weird clothes prevent people from perceiving me as a WASP TM copyright. My bright green frog overalls are my Armor of God now beyotch
@@minniemoths yes!!!!! love that for you
Hey, Sorb here. My ears piqued when you talked about the username coming from the Sorbian language. This might be a misunderstanding on my part, since Sorbian is an active language, in fact comprised of Upper and Lower Sorbian and it is a Slawic, not Germanic language (however most speakers reside in current day Germany). I could not find a word similar to nebor, at least not in current day use, fighter is translated to "wojowar" and "wójowaŕ" respectively. If you did mean Sorbian, it would be a reather funny choice of name for a white supremacist, seeing as Sorbs were prosecuted by the Nazis.
@@viv4272 yes, I’ve been told that Serbian is not a good language, but I’m not going to pretend to understand the inner workings of the white supremacist mind anymore than that. They think nebor means fighter in a language they have decided is white enough for them to love. (, of course choosing any language that is ironic because White is made up.)
Correction. As an expert, I can definitely understand their mindset. I cannot logically explain it because there’s no logic.
@@KnittingCultLady Oh it's Serbian? I can't speak for that at all. I thought it said Sorbian in the video.
@@viv4272 no, Sorbian, that was a talk to text error. It was all over the brief and legal documents that I was given, but it was a “dead language” I did not research that detail further because I haven’t actually written the full book- although it’s definitely the detailed I got him kicked out of the military. I’m glad that I talked about it on here so that people who knew could correct me.
Sorbian is a West Slavic language, that is very much alive, German, along with English are West Germanic. Sorbs are a minority group who the Nazis persecuted and tried to force assimilate them. The Nazis viewed Slavic peoples as subhuman and inferior. Some were to be assimilated the others gotten rid of.
I'm going to leave a comment after I've taken the whole video in, but man I gotta say how much the barbie allegory at 19:53 is so poignant (I am also neurodivergent! AuAdhd and OCD). It's especially interesting to me in how it resonates, as a (white) gay trans man. Because for me, my unconcious feeling about having to 'pick a barbie' was either "I wish I could just flip the table with all the Barbies on it and go live in the woods as a feral forest creature" or "I gotta minmax and choose the strongest and most powerful Barbie possible to make myself as close to comfortable as I can be while dealing with having to live as a girl/woman"
But after awhile even the latter became untenable and I felt very 'broken' in my sense of gender as a young teen, prior to knowing what transness was, then subsequently socially transitioning at 15 and medically starting at 18.
I won't go on about me too much longer here since it's not really the main point of the video, just wanted to share how the allegory also resonated with me and give another perspective!
@@nicolasnamed thank you for sharing. I want to hear all the stories ❤️
What a video title
I am a 65 year old light skinned black woman with purple hair. Having the bright purple hair has really helped me show who i am. I never fit in with black people or white people. For me, It's about the energy of people. I also truly have no desire to fit in.
@@mswetra2610 I love the power of like bold colors, and wacky outfits to just make it obvious that you’re not trying to fit in. I think it works so well ❤️
Anti racism is not a replacement for a personality
imagine being this smart and talented…
Great video
Could someone please illuminate my color blindness about "who cares about his sexual fluidity"? I just found out about this channel and even just the title is great😊
@@janlaag that I didn’t care if he was straight, or bisexual, or had previously slept with men. He was choosing to be with me, and I trusted that. Most straight people can’t really comprehend that choice.
@@KnittingCultLady yes yes thank you, I understand that, I was actually just wondering what that means in a "red flag" kind of way because I am also someone who doesn't really care so I wonder maybe I am color blind to something 😅
Thank you for getting back this fast by the way! I am still watching this one, almost midway through right now. Have a beautiful day🩷
Girl how did you not know…
@@joannesmemoir um, because was a teenager that literally had never been exposed to the world, because I was raised in prison in a sex cult?!? that’s why we’re deconstructing this
I live in a constant state of anxiety that I will make a spelling error. I never knew that was white supremacy. It makes so much sense. I'm dyslexic and Jewish.
@@gabriellefeldman5062 might be anything that makes us feel “not good enough” is white supremacy. Honestly
@@KnittingCultLady that's a scary thought!
It freaked me out that I'm crocheting and this gets recomended to me omg.
Btw have you just said serbian is a dead germanic language. serbian is a slavic language and it's not dead. i know that's not the point of the video but yeah...sorry
Glad this channel got recomended to me.
@@me9981 not Serbian, Sorbian.
I have been sitting here for, like, 3 days trying to figure out what the YT was in all your video titles. I use YT to abbreviate TH-cam, so I've been trying to figure out why you'd make a video title about TH-cam supremacists, but never mention the platform's name in the podcast. I was listening and listening hoping you'd define it because I couldn't figure out exactly what TH-cam supremacist was. I just suddenly got it. Derp. Now I feel both amused and stupid. I hate how language has become so obscured on this platform because of advertisers and the algorithm.
Sorbian is a Slavic language…btw you both are speaking a Germanic language this whole video
@@tyv5887 yes, that was the important thing to point out from this video 🤦♀️
I can't see the grammar thing as a white supremacy thing. Usually, when people resort to that during an argument, it's bc they know they can't win by debating the actual topic, so they deflect by jumping on any minor error you make.
@@hey_thatsmyname that is true. There’s also a lot of writing about how it’s connected to white supremacy. It’s a good thing to research.🫡
You say “right?” a LOT!
@@AutumnSwatches why are people like this? You having super hard conversations in public without saying “um”? 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@KnittingCultLady it’s even more distracting than “um” to me. It’s unnecessary and jarring (almost like if someone called my name twice per sentence because it sounds like requesting a response) and she probably doesn’t realize how frequently she is doing it. Her speech would sound better if she would be more comfortable with some silence in between clauses rather than filling them with “right?” which hints at some insecurity and need for approval still, so it is relevant to her history.
@@AutumnSwatches I’m the her, and you’re a dick. Unless you have an extremely successful book, multiple social media channels and two podcasts, please keep your negative opinions to yourself. There was a whole lot of anti racist, important content, the fact you chose to focus on filler words says a lot about the person you are. Have a day. 🤦♀️🫡
@@AutumnSwatches also, I’m so glad to not be the kind of person that criticizes free content. Yikes on bikes, brosephine.
@@KnittingCultLady now you’re masculinizing a Black woman with your “brosephine” jab? Geeze, you couldn’t keep up the facade of being who you try to be for even a few minutes. You just had to expose yourself. You’re pathetic
12:10 a lot probably D:
based
Oh shit the homofash thing was not a meme
Sadly I've seen it many a time
These poor women are lost but there is hope. The Church of Scientology can help them find their way to the truth. It can unlock their full human potential and free then from the dark forces that hold them back from their full human potential. They can live the life of their dreams. Scientology is the key. All they have to do is open the door.
@@apollothirteen9236 😂😂😂
@@KnittingCultLady When The Church of Scientology frees you from your money 💰 then you will be truly free.
@@apollothirteen9236lol