I've had two women test me for "jealousy" or "territorial" nature by doing this psychotic thing: they'd start talking to a guy next to us at a bar, begin ignoring me, and get their number whilst looking at me for a reaction. One of them said, "does it bother you I did that?" Both times I smiled, was unphased, drank my whiskey, and knew I wasn't going to deal with their bullshit after that night ever again. They'd try to ensue more dates after that. Till this day those sociopaths are still single and living with cats (seriously).
It seems alot of these women, and people in general, are really wounded inside, partly due to being raised in toxic environments as children, compounded by being exposed daily to our over sexualized, consumerist, narcissistic society therefore, creating alot of broken inauthentic individuals
Shit my ex knew how to text but make it look like it was from an anonymous number and pulled that on me pretending to be asian throwing herself at me to see if I would cheat on her....should have realized right there and then something was very off with her
We men also need to test women Whether she's feminine Whether she's cooperative Whether she's supportive Whether she's behaving properly Whethe she respect me
Explain more please. What singel woman giving advice? You mean the woman in Corteneys video or did you mean another dateing-coach that is female? I am asking, because I recently saw another video on the same topic, made by another female dateing coach. And that "coach" had a whole OTHER take on the subjekt. (A very bad one). Corteney is really good. The more I see of her videos, the more I trust her competence.
I'm gonna just be super blunt and say that you are without a doubt one of the most empathetic women that is of your caliber of beauty and I very much appreciate you being the person that you are which is so down-to-earth and generous. To discuss these things and with the loving insight that you do it with without all the bs of most toxic women these days is a diamond and I am so grateful to you! And thank the lord you don't do the jerky stop/start editing either ! Kudos to your good taste and values!!
Agreed. I just wonder how her boyfriend/husband is towards her, you know? Following your own practices kind-a-thing. A lot of therapists, counselors, are the most messed up people lol. A lot of them don't take their own advice.
I understand why a woman would want to test a man for competence and emotional intelligence, but once you get one or two answers, you should quit doing the testing and maybe start to enjoy the company before it becomes a game and the guy leaves
Courtney I don't think you understand how rare it is for a woman to show the kindness, empathy and understanding the you do towards men. You give us hope
The guy LITERALLY DID CARE FOR HER SAFETY and offered her a drive, and SHE SAID NO, and because she declined - HE IS A BAD PERSON?!?!?! What is this world we are living in???
@@johnsmith-kt7ef When women get frustrated with you for not reading their minds, call them out on it. I've done this and it shuts them up and they never do it again. Works every time. I ask them if THEY can TRULY read MY mind right there in that moment. They get flustered and usually just walk away.
If he'd stayed, she'd be telling of how he failed her test by being domineering and overbearing. The purpose of the original video is not actually to express a consistent standard, it's a statment of status; she's declaring to other women that she's more picky than they are and therefore more desirable herself.
I love when she says "BYE" if I don't pay on the first date. My sentiments exactly. Byyyyeeee, because I'm not paying for a girl that clearly only wants men for free stuff, and not a meaningful relationship.
Dude! 100%. I think a man should be prepared to pay, but it's so nice when the woman offers to pay half and means it. I think nothing is more attractive than a truly independent woman who does not need you for anything, but rather wants you because they like you.
Agreed. One of my biggest red flags is when girls don't even acknowledge the bill. I always offer to pay, and when a girl offers to pay her share she gets put high on my list. It completely kills the vibe i have for a girl if she doesn't even thank you/acknowledge paying for it at all. That being said I always try to pay out of how I was raised, but when someone doesn't even remotely try to pay for themselves, its a huge turn off for me and I usually end up not dating them again. Again I know nerves are sometimes on the table, and if i pay and the girl thanks me later and says she will buy next time, I can appreciate that. But when theres 0 intension of them saying thank you or paying for themselves I usually call it quits there. Because to me that sounds like I'm about to get used.
@@Kjertinge it’s a form of prostitution! Who the fuck in this equal dating world thinks they’re entitled to our money for what exactly - Turning up or being a woman lol?! If they don’t bring anything to the table proverbially then they aren’t worth it
@@urlauburlaub2222 I hear you, It's just the sentiment if you take out your wallet to pay, if she insists on paying (which I won't let her haha) that says alot about her character. That she is a potential partner and wants to be equals.
It's amazing how that girl in the TikTok video managed to present half a dozen red flags within the first second: 1. Using TikTok 2. Cringy Username 3. Extreme arrogance and entitlement 4. Treating relationships like a transactional game 5. Far too much makeup (Insecurity) 6. Plastic surgery (More insecurity) I wouldn't even think of dating someone like that, and I pity the men who would
@@therealsandraweise What kind of response does it merit? She's free to "test" anyone, but she has failed to demonstrate what actual value she provides in case a man "passes". Is she loyal? Loving? Supportive? Does she have good morals? Will she be a good wife and mother? Because if the only thing she's offering in return is her body, or her fake plastic looks, then that's a pretty shit trade. It's not even that I necessarily disagree on the things she mentions, they are things I think are correct for a man to do, and things I do for my fiancée. But a proper relationship is a give and take from both sides, with both adding up their best qualities and helping eachother overcome their worst ones, to become a better whole. All her cringy message conveys is entitlement of galactic proportions and a willingness to play stupid games, which I don't think deserves any kind of proper response, but rather scorn
One thing I had to learn about having a crazy ex, (who was legit batshit nuts) is women will by default side with another woman even if they do not know her if they also do not know you and are trying to figure you out. it doesn’t actually matter how crazy she actually was to you or any example you can give, the best response to something about your ex is something like “we just grew apart, I wish her the best, but I realized she wasn’t the one for me”
Honestly, the moment I realize that someone is playing a game on me, we are done. This doesn't apply just to dating. Honesty is one of my highest values, therefore I just shut down if someone is dishonest with me. These girls should also realize that men are not stupid. Some, if not all of us, can sense that you're just not straight with your intentions.
@@charlesoni2787 the "haha all these guys want me" tactic doesn't work on me, ironically if I mention a female they really get envious, once I see that I walk away Life should be a wonderful journey not a game and when anyone devalues my life or anyone else's life on dating or sex I don't have any respect for them
i generally agree, but sometimes a person can be genuinely good and they'll stop if you tell them to. sometimes it's because of habit or social expectation, sometimes it's because they're a bit mischivioeus and want to have fun. i don't think you should be so harsh and immediately reject them after just 1 "game"
@@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 I would like to respond to you in a way that potentially covers the main thoughts behind this. First of all (I'm just curious), what do you mean by "social expectation"? Now, the reasoning behind my original comment: Problem with a lot of men nowadays is that they don't often realize their value. They very often submit themselves to girls by giving them a lot of attention and time they don't deserve - they basically give them free attention for nothing. Once a girl knows she can get it from you just like that, she will lose respect for you. You're basically just another guy that gave her follow on IG. I don't say be intentionally harsh to women and intentionally ignore them. No, don't do that. What I'm saying is know your value as a man, respect yourself and put yourself first. Your own life is your highest priority. Women are not and never be in the first place in your life, as harsh as it may sound. I know it sounds very rude and harsh but in the end it actually benefits both of you (we can have a call if you want me to explain this to you on a deeper level). Now, with everything mentioned above, how does this apply to the so called "game"? Well, a girl can be the nicest girl on the Earth but if you don't set boundaries and let her do anything she wants, she immediately loses respect for you. She knows that you let her do that and she got away with it. And since she knows you already let her get away with it, guess what, she will do it again. You can say whatever you want, but ultimately, the relationship is about respect. If she doesn't respect you, you're just wasting time with her. Now, what you said about this tolerance for one game, it may work, but from my own experience, rarely does this really work. Just ask yourself this: If she's like that, if she plays games with you, why the hell would you even bother wasting your valuable time with this kind of girl? Why don't you rather find a girl that is genuinely interested in you, is straight with you and gives you clear signs that she really likes you? What the hell is wrong with you, man? Don't be delusional. Don't be a simp. She's not worth your effort. If she's playing games with you, she's wasting your time you could have otherwise spend on improving your life, just think about it. Know your value, man. Put your life first, since it's your highest priority and don't let any girl distract you from your goals, regardless of how beautiful she is or how big of a connection you feel. Dude, there are so many beautiful women that you have a strong connection with. Stop having this mindset of "Oh, I think she's the one". More likely than not, she's not. Like I said, this might be a bit too complex topic for a comment section, so if you want, we can arrange a call and I will explain it to you in a more detail. I wish you all the best and good luck on your life journey. Stay strong, man.
I texted a girl after a date just to see if she made it home safe and she basically said I was too nice lol dating is a nightmare, damned if you do damned if you don't.
Question, was that really all you texted or did you right away followed up with more nice comments like you had a great a time and would love to see her again?
You are def a gentleman for doing so but I am sensing that with her response, she just wasn't likely interested in a second date and that was her try at a nice let down. Don't stop being a good guy. There are ladies that will appreciate that gesture and will be interested in you enough to go on another date.
That is one weird woman. One of the most attractive things about my husband when we were datinv and even now was his concern about my safety and wellbeing. When I met him after work at a restaurant he would ask me to c!ll him when I arrived home. Every single day that I work he asks me to call or text b/c he wants to know that I've made it to work safely. Now I ask him to do the same.
Too nice meaning she wants a man who beats on her. Sadly or something like that. My first ex wife said I was a mama's boy.....I need a man. Shoeshine she ended up having a baby with her next dude..he was aggressive and abusive. Ling story. If anyone wants to know ...ask me
I understood what the woman in the video was trying to convey, but she's going about it in a way that won't lead to a great outcome. How about instead of constantly testing people and playing mind games, we just confirm that we like someone instead of being insecure about every little thing that does or doesn't happen.
I don’t know what she was in about or who she thinks she is but she needs to stop reading her tik tok comments by men who want to get in her pants their making her deluded about her own value, all I see is a big man child making tik tok vidoes and she looks 30 enough said
I have a serious problem with women like her making themselves a massive target where they have no situational awareness or contingency plan in the event that a date goes south, and yet expecting the guy to be all of this that she wants. The irony is that she puts guys through tests to see if they can provide and protect, when she should be doing that herself already. She should be looking after herself first and foremost rather than basically plopping herself in a guy's arms with the expectation that he'll protect her. Unnecessarily risking her safety that will get her stranded at 4AM in a massive city... Real smart. These women are literally putting their lives in these guy's hands completely and are at his mercy because they want all the responsibilities to fall onto him. They aren't protecting themselves and would rather risk putting their lives in the wrong person's hands over a fucking test. If she's out past 12AM with a guy and not considering that maybe this guy is sketchy and that she's already backed herself into a corner, the best case scenario was that he left her in the middle of Miami at 4AM. I get it, that's a sketchy and inconsiderate thing to do and tells ME as a guy that he isn't into her like that, but she have no idea how badly it could have gone. These kinds of women are not datable for their own sake. They constantly put a massive target on their back, with no concern for their own potential safety and have next to no situational awareness or escape route in the event that a date goes south.
Thank you so much Courtney! Your presentations are so well delivered-it seems that you tend to be thorough & give clear examples. Plus, I like how you describe how women & men think, which can be difficult for some of us introverts to figure out, being so logical & direct. You are one of my favorite counselors/advisors!
Be careful, ladies, we know how to play games too! I started dated a woman, and before I said anything else I told her up front "I'm NOT looking to get married, and I am NOT interested in having kids" she understood, and we started dating. As soon as I was getting into starting a business of my own, she changed! Next thing you know, she's saying "I want to get married, I want to have a baby!" As soon as she did that, I broke up with her!
@@qbik911 What some women have to understand is there are men that say what they mean and mean what they say. However, when you tell them up front before even starting the relationship that you are NOT interested in marriage or having kids, foolish women ignore this and look at you as a challenge. Another thing is, too, how women want to constantly change their man. Another game they play is withholding sex until they get their way. When an ex did that to me, I said right to her face, " Oh, goodie! Because I have been wanting to bang the hot woman up the street. This specific woman that I'm speaking of, her name is Monica. When Monica and I first started dating, she never told me I would have to punk off and get rid of her ex-boyfriend Dan. It was like she kept quiet about that part. Dan was fresh out of jail, could bench press 450 pounds as he lifted weights like 6 hours per day. Dan was threatening me as I was in Monica's apartment, he's on the phone with his buddies making all types of threats. I kid you not, I talked bravely through the phone, but in reality I was shaking like a leaf on a tree during a wind storm. So Dan shortly afterward shot at Monica's windows with a bb gun. Guess who had to fix the window? You see, Monica mismanaged a LOT of things and threw me in harms way while doing it. So when Monica knew I wanted to start a business, all she could see was the dollars coming in and started talking her junk - "I want to get married and have a baby!" To ladies who read this. When a woman puts her man's life in jeopardy, we look at it as "That's strike 1" Monica also caused my motorcycle to get stolen! That was strike 2. Then, when Monica pulled that stunt when I was starting a business, "I want to get married, I want to have a baby!" That was strike 3! See ya! Men are way too soft with women. As for myself, I could never stand a woman who wants to control every aspect of my life and tries to make my life all about her. NOPE!!!! Hit the road!
@@AK-American When a woman becomes money hungry, she then becomes like a blood sucking machine. Men should NEVER EVER let their women control their relationship yet so many men do. I then dated Glady, who was way worse than Monica. She warned me that she was like an apple that was all beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside. I said, "Oh, c'mon, nobody is like that. I WAS WRONG! Long story short, I was watching a preacher on TV named Joyce Myers, and she said, "If you want to know if someone loves you for you or the money, get rid of the money and see how you are being treated." At this point in my life, I owned a landscaping business. I only had like $3,000.00 in the bank and thought "Okay I could earn this back in a short time, let's test Glady." First, we went on a shopping spree! Yea! Glady LOVED IT! Then I waited a day or two and while waking up one morning I said "Glady, I have some bad news! She said what? I said, "I'm Broke!" She said what? I said, "Yeah, I'm broke!" Then Gladly flipped out! What do you mean you're broke? I have given you the best years of my life! Why am I even with you?!!! She would constantly repeat this. I had suddenly become this HUGE LOSER in her eyes. Yet she was the one who was caught sleeping with other guys. Well, this went on for days! Like 3 days! Day 3 was enough for me! I said to her Glady, guess what? We're moving! She said really? I said yep! I'm going my way and you're going your way! Then Glady said, "Oh, so now you're leaving me too?!!!! I said YEP! Then I took the trash to the curb!!! Leaving Glady was THE BEST THING I EVER DID! Till this day I can't stand her! All this happened back in 1997. I have remained single since then. No sloppy, mean, cruel divorces ( as one would go through if married ) nope! Just open up a can of "B!tch be gone" and POOF!!! B!tch was gone!
Videos like these are really a gold mine of information. They show how toxic, entitled, hypocritical, and thoroughly unattractive so many young modern women are. A lot of these girls are going to be extremely bitter in the years ahead when they end up completely alone or as single mothers.
Bro. That's just how women are. Remember, women have the power of relationship, sex, and all things feminine since the beginning of time. This is a gold mine of info. Coach Corey Wayne and others on you tube go over this when you TH-cam their videos. You will then see oh that's why she dumped me or why this girl turned cold and ghosted me after I said X etc. Don't be mad at nurture but learn. Women test with competency, strength, and masculinity. They will change an opinion for example to see if you will change yours to match. If you do this you will be done. A woman randomly did this to me a few months ago but I was prepped and she was all over me and flirty afterwards as that was rare in her eyes. Research the material and learn from ccw and others. You will beat out rich and handsome men as women prefer those who pass these tests and are more masculine and badass and strong over richer and handsomer
Western society is flooded by oversexualization in music, moves, shows, narcissism on social media, and over consumption in shopping malls malls and Amazon. We are creating hollow, selfish, broken individuals.
@@timothygibney159 I'm an older guy and have a lot of experience with women. My goal was never to beat out any other guy if the so called prize was a toxic entitled good for nothing woman. Women like that are a dime a dozen. Always have been. The other guy was welcome to that.
You seem like a man incel and upset too ... Don’t listen to this channel for dating advice it’s a load of bollocks. They are saying to attract you need to be yourself and do what you like to do. This is definitely not true. You can be yourself and do what you like to do and women wont care because of other factors that she doesn’t explain...
I stopped watching after the first "test". By telling her date she didn't want him to stay and wait around with her until her Uber arrived, she told him he was not needed. Guys just want to be needed by the women in their lives. Had you simply asked him to stay and protect you at 4am in Miami, you would have made him feel like his was needed, you would have been safer in that environment, and you could have kept the conversation going a bit further. But yeah, lets test him by throwing all that out. Technically you still would have been testing him because if he didnt want to stay then he doesnt view you as a match. No guy would leave if he was interested, and she asked him to wait with her.
That's indeed another way of looking at it - perhaps that's exactly why he left: She made him feel not-needed (maybe it happened even during or throughout the date) and by then he had already decided he was done with her. Her saying that Maybe "confirmed" it for him. Still not a "gentlemanly" thing to do on his part, but maybe she even drove him to do that.....
Well the way the woman in the TikTok video presents herself is way too manipulative and arrogant, and I agree with you re: The 'protect' test- She shouldn't have to lie to make a man read her true intentions, because some men would take her word for it and avoid being clingy or even stalkish by leaving her alone, thus getting unjustly tarred with the same brush when his true intentions were to give the woman her own space. In cases like this honest & direct communication is especially important because this will profoundly impact the way communication is done in a potential relationship!
A friend of mine got tested by being friendzoned to see if he’d push through and “escape” the friendzone. He did escape the friendzone after one year by getting a new girlfriend and the girl testing him flipped her shoes in a jealousy rage fit. Y do u dis women? 🚩🚩🚩🚩
I've been watching a TON of Relationship advice videos & this is one of the best I've seen so far. I LOVE @CourtneyRyan videos. She presents herself well, dressed very professionally, There's an air of quiet confidence coming out of her, She's softly spoken. There's nothing 'Busy' going on in the background, choosing for something plain / simple, non distracting. Courtney could easily pass for a relationship Counselor outside of these videos. And she's super likeable. Subscribing to her honestly feels like a WIN / WIN. :)
OMG you are so good at explaining this complicated verbal and non-verbal communication. When you showed that video my first thought was oh no, that is so messed up but like how you called that girl out on her methods. Shows you are being neutral and genuine. I rarely give likes, but this video deserves it. Well done. You gave great advice to both sexes.
It's one thing to get to know someone by asking questions, yes I agree. It becomes too much when you're consistently being tested and then written off it it's the wrong answer. It's no wonder so many walk on eggshells.
Last girl I went on a date with literally admitted she was going to test me before hand. She told me I could come back to her place after the date IF I passed her test, which she didn't tell me what it was at first. During the date, we did go back to her place and I found out the "test" was her cousin literally spied on my personal info online to make sure I was "cool". She refused to tell me where or how he got the info, especially since she herself didn't even know my last name.
Aaah the Jealousy test, when I was younger I didn’t even knew it was a « test ». My reactions were: « Oh I miss interpreted her attractiveness for me, she is obviously attracted to that other dude, better leave her alone… ». I dodged a few bullets…
my career is professional sales - my views on this are along these lines - there’s a difference between a calculated “test” & simply & honestly “qualifying” a person, much like you would qualify a potential customer/client ... there’s also a difference in “poking fun” & hitting below the belt ... i like your content; you appear to be genuine & sincere & rational - a rarity IMO
When I first met my wife, I told her not to test me. She tried twice before we got married, both times I told her it wasn't happening. She learned her lesson by getting shown the door each time.
I think testing a person's character is fine but what I disagree and protest with is the mind games and manipulation people pull on each other to try and get an advantage.
@@angelvargas6190 I'm not a psychologist but I believe it's a mix of insecurities from a past relationship, bad home life or influence from social media.
@@angelvargas6190 Definitely. Manipulation is about control. A person feels like they need to be in control of another person because deep down, they don't think that they deserve to get what they want, and they are scared that they won't get it, so being manipulative and controlling are ways to temporarily ease that fear. This is an insecurity that will lead to misery if we don't address these issues within ourselves.
The girl in the tiktok would have likely failed all of my tests for being lying, manipulative, and self-entitled. Me pay on the first date? That's fine, but for no more than a coffee or a beer. You want some tasty $5 Starbucks and hang out for a bit and talk? No problem at all, I'm down. If you're all like "lolz cheapskate" you're just a stranger wasting my time and money. Bye. Next. Next we have two Ubers coming, and mine gets there first. I offer to stay with you and you say "no you don't have to do that" but mean the exact opposite because you want to test me? Done. Bye. A. you just proved you can't even communicate basic needs without being manipulative and B. you just withheld your consent for me to remain there with you. What am I supposed to do? Hang out with you after you just explicitly said NO DON'T DO THAT? There's a reason I asked if you wanted me to stay there in the first place. It's called healthy communication. I'm not going to forcibly protect you against your will. Healthy humans don't do that, toxic people do. Lastly, if you complain that you're cold and I offer you a jacket but you refuse and continue to complain and offer no alternative, this is an obvious red flag. It means you just like to complain, and have no interest in cooperating to solve the issue. If you complain you're cold, refuse my jacket, and then you're suddenly not cold anymore, then I know you just lied, and you're done. As you might have surmised, I don't have any tolerance for manipulators. Neither should you. Don't settle for terrible behavior.
Thanks for this. It's really refreshing to see a woman talking about men's lived experience while also offering a woman's perspective. I think your videos could be immensely helpful to a lot of young men who are pretty lost and confused in this life. I know I would have benefitted a lot from your videos when I was younger LOL.
I really enjoy your videos, not because i need the advice, but because you react and analyze a lot of these cringe videos women do. You are a soothing counter point to them and rather than throw gas on the fire, you talk about the genuine concerns they might have actually addressed and point out the fault in their approach. Keep doing what you're doing, you're appreciated.
After going out 3 times and paying all 3 times, this psycho girl invited me to lunch and offered to pay. When the waitress dropped off the check, I still offered but she insisted on paying so I let her. As soon as the waitress left with her card, she immediately told me her mother told her never to pay for a date and she couldn't believe I let her pay. She was done after that. Women can be so idiotic!
As the father of two daughters and a son I would be irate if I heard any of them treating another person like this. What spoiled brats these young people have become. People like her will give out “tests” until they look around and there won’t be anybody to give a test to.
And look at it this way, I have a serious problem with women like her making themselves a massive target where they have no situational awareness or contingency plan in the event that a date goes south, and yet expecting the guy to be all of this that she wants. The irony is that she puts guys through tests to see if they can provide and protect, when she should be doing that herself already. She should be looking after herself first and foremost rather than basically plopping herself in a guy's arms with the expectation that he'll protect her. Unnecessarily risking her safety that will get her stranded at 4AM in a massive city... Real smart. These women are literally putting their lives in these guy's hands completely and are at his mercy because they want all the responsibilities to fall onto him. They aren't protecting themselves and would rather risk putting their lives in the wrong person's hands over a fucking test. If she's out past 12AM with a guy and not considering that maybe this guy is sketchy and that she's already backed herself into a corner, the best case scenario was that he left her in the middle of Miami at 4AM. I get it, that's a sketchy and inconsiderate thing to do and tells ME as a guy that he isn't into her like that, but she have no idea how badly it could have gone. These kinds of women are not datable for their own sake. They constantly put a massive target on their back, with no concern for their own potential safety and have next to no situational awareness or escape route in the event that a date goes south.
Conversely though, my daughter went out with a young man and she called me if I could go pick her up in downtown bc there was a family emergency at her date's place and he wanted to go home as quickly as possible. When I got to the pickup spot, the young man was still standing next to her. Chivalrous young man, good on him. His father is a chaplain in the military.
A big green flag for me was when she apologized for not asking if she could order dessert, even though I mirrored the waitresses question to her (indicating I was fine with it). She just didn't pick up on that cue, and apologized for a potential misstep. Now that she said she just wants to be friends, she specifically makes sure I'm not paying for her lunch. Green flags for either a relationship or a friend.
@@TemperedWambat we have good conversations, but we both were feeding off each other's anxiety sometimes, making us incompatible without getting a lot more relaxed around each other. Also the effort of maintaining a friendship (e.g. scheduling the next get together, texting back, etc.) improves my mental health. What do I lose from being friends?
@@brainwater fax bro! Im semi the same way when an interest turns friend.... Getting to know/comfortable around women in ALL capacities has no choice but to be beneficial if the guy compartmentalizes correctly.....shit she might have a compatible friend for all we know😏
Ill never understand people’s need to pollute a relationship with unnecessary drama for the sake of “testing someone “. No matter how well intended it is, Lying and manipulation is never a good way start a relationship. And I would suggest people refrain from poking fun at someone on the first date. You usually don’t know enough about each other on the first date to get each others humor enough to pick up on the joke. It’s not a red flag for someone to not get your sense of humor on a first date. Like if you told me the joke you stated in the video, “oh your not muscular enough for me”. If I don’t know you enough to understand that you are being sarcastic, I’d assume you are just being honest. I wouldn’t typically get angry and freak out about it, Id just leave you and stop talking to you. In my mind id be thinking “ why waste my time with someone who doesn’t find me attractive?”.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now without subscribing. I’m subscribing now. Because I like you as a person and I respect you. In this super toxic internet environment, honest , kind, SANE and dare I say normal people like you, in a time when most people seem like they’ve lost their minds, you deserve to be supported and heard. I agree with you that putting people to “tests” deliberately says more about you than it does them (and not in a good way). Surely you’ll discover things organically as you go. Me personally, I just moved to live in the US recently. I grew up in the Middle East, gender roles is much clearer. A man ALWAYS pays the bill. Weather it’s the first date or the one millionth. Even when it’s men out, we fight over who’ll pay “I’ll take care of this, no I’ll take care of this”. You’re considered cheap if you don’t do that. Only exception is when you’re a group of close friends who are always going out together, then yes we split the bill. Regarding the jacket test, I actually was with a Canadian woman once in Italy, it wasn’t a date, we just met in a restaurant in Manarola. As two strangers and tourists, we exchanged talk, she sat on my table and we talked and had fun. It was late so I walked her to where she was staying, it started to rain, I had a jacket on and she didn’t, it seemed the only normal thing to do which is taking off my jacket and giving it to her. I find it confusing, here in the west, when women on one hand are almost fully empowered, yet they still ask for these chivalrous acts of men. It’s like they want it both ways. We’re strong and equal and free to do what we want (which is amazing and great) , but they still want to comfy to traditional gender roles only when it’s convenient to them! P.S sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. English isn’t my first language.
And there it is; the final proof of this all being some self-induced madness, when even someone outside western culture notices the hypocracy going on. All the more reason to not take any of this current situation seriously. We have become so caught up in our small little lives to the point we start making it difficult for ourselves out of boredom, women especially. Keep calling it out, friend. People wont listen to us, but since we live in a non-racist "equal" culture now, where one's opinion is elevated if he is exotic enough or has the right skin colour, your opinions are unassailable.
I dont take tests. I don't play "the game". I expect her to do a cautious pursuit just like me, even if it looks a liitle different for each gender. We both pursue with caution and fairness and meet each other in the middle.
I date following this method now: I have a first meeting, before there is a first date. I am old fashioned (52), so I want to pay. But modern dating is so toxic where far too many women are spinning plates thanks to social media dating, that forking out money for girls that are already seeing multiple men - sometimes just for food dates, I dont want anything to do with it. So I do the lets meet up on a beach or park for a walk and coffee. If there is no chemistry, we part, if I feel chemistry, I ask that woman out for a real date. I love my own space and I enjoy being alone, so I literally don't care if I am harming my chances of successful dating... I am on the other hand, letting the wind carry away the chaff and leaving the prized grain behind.
I think you're doing the smart thing so by definition you are successfully dating. Success in dating is not measured by volume. Especially if the majority of women a man goes out with are toxic and entitled.
I’ve gotten the jealousy test many times when I was younger, and I’ve gotten different reactions. Some girls told me that being jealous was a turn-off, and others told me that being jealous was a sign that the guy really cared about them. It’s just about knowing how to walk that fine line I guess, lol.
The first woman made some valid points on safety but it was a bit harsh on her last comment. I agree, Courtney, when you date someone their true self will come out sooner or later. A person can't keep pretending to be someone else for that long. Testing someone is childish and if you feel you can't trust that person don't date that person.
This is textbook passive-aggressive behavior. Not being direct is almost always a red flag. Don't say "I'm cold" and expect the other party will infer your need something. Don't play by pretending to be noble and say, "No, you go and leave me here," with the expectation the other person will infer you really mean. Passive-aggressive is the psychological term. Learn it. Live it. Love it. "Say what you want." Yes! Even a baby crying without consciousness knows what it needs and expresses itself directly. Let's all clue-up.
Don’t buy it, don’t play it, don’t let that affect you. If she tests you she already shows what kind of person she is. Edit: on the flip side, you can notice she is testing you, pass them all by doing what she expects you to do and never going out with her again.
Reminds me of the scene in the movie “Bull Durham,” where the Kevin Costner character says to the Susan Sarandon character, “I don’t try out,” and, “I’m not interested in any woman who is interested in that boy,” referring to the Tim Robbins character. Don’t try out. Don’t go along with game playing. Walk away.
While I fundamentally agree with your take on paying for the first date and how it can show that a guy is friendly, accommodating, and can provide, the flaw with it in practice is that guys constantly go through first dates that never lead anywhere, so these “just pay on the first date” bills rack up really quick. I’ve even known women who meet up with guys from dating apps just for a free lunch/dinner with no intention of pursuing anything with them at all. These experiences happen all the time with guys in the dating scene, and it’s frustrating because you walk in feeling like a 75/25 chance that no matter how well the date goes, nothing will come of it, and still feel obligated to pay for everything just to have that 25% chance of “passing” this type of test. For this reason alone, I would maintain that the first date should be split evenly without preconceived judgement. Anything after that is fair game, as it at least indicates that both people enjoyed each other’s company enough to keep things going.
You are a gem. I really enjoy your videos and I must say you embody all the qualities most men like myself look for in a female. Just genuinely being yourself in a respectful manner speaks volumes
I like thinking about the idea of receiving a Gift. Some people admire the wrapping of the gift, some cannot wait to see what is inside, and people like me aren’t worried about what is inside because it was the fact that someone thought of me enough to even buy me something. That to me is the REAL gift ❤
Well she probably thinks that every last single mother can raise a boy into a proper man, although no woman can raise a boy into a man, so of course we always conclude at this reality that women are emotional beings and men are rational beings so she didn't think it through, so that puts the burden on him to think this through and make sure he is making a great impression because she will go off of her feelings
Ugly faces are being laughed/mocked Average faces are being tested Cute faces are having already the action 😏 without being tested and other BS excuses women make for 90% of men.
I love this channel, it’s given and is going to continue to give me a great perspective on what girls that I’m attracted to want and desire. However I problem I have and many other guys have is it feels like we have to do and put up with so much more than girls do. We have to be smart, funny, confident, good looking, make them feel special, be protective and supportive, be masculine, make the first move, be strong, make more money, be tall, kind, being vulnerable, fashionable, react in a good way to some of the games they play, approach them first, pay for the first date, showing ambition and self improvement and more. I completely agree that these things are important and will help me get a woman I desire to commit myself to. But it feels like guys need to put up with much more, while committing more to them and showing them there all of the things I said above while not reciprocating nearly as much. While men in general require much less.I know I generalized and not all woman want all those things and will reciprocate in many of those things and hats off to them. But that’s the exception not the rule. For many men including myself it doesn’t feel worth it. Especially when many are constantly looking for more from you, which can be fine depending on the circumstances, but often comes across as controlling and jealous of what she sees other women have. There’s a reason almost all married men tell younger men not to get married or to stay single. I know few people will see this but I had to get this off my chest. I know you won’t see this Courtney but if you do what can a women provide that make all the effort above worth it. Thank you for the great work you do.
Just wanted to commend you for your believable honesty, sincerity, your objective fairness on both sides and above all your innate humbleness. I genuinely wish you and your husband many blessings. 👍
It would be nice if a lot of people would be grateful, even though they aren't raised that way because this country is so prosperous with debt that everybody is so numb that they don't understand what it's like to not have. I am glad I grew up so poor that I don't take anything for granted and I take care of all of my stuff and I have become so financially literate (I've been busting my hump since I was 8) that I can take care of my family, because there have been periods that my sister and her husband dealt with hardships as well as my mother has and it didn't affect my lifestyle stepping up.
"She's tryin to know you by knowing your past." That's called a job interview. These same women get upset when you question them about THEIR past. Especially with a those with a high body count.
Fr they demand an entire day-by-day history of your entire life, but then you ask them the smallest thing about their past and they'll quickly change their tune to "everybody has a past!!" and get hyper defensive.
Whoa, talk about “reading my mail” on this one! Mostly the last half of stuff, but all of these I have either had happen, or a friend of mine went through it! Thanks for helping verify so many of my choices and decisions! Great job!
I met a woman at a yoga class and I told her that she is pretty & had a young body. Then she was telling me that she has a boyfriend. So I thought that she wasn't interested in me. So I was acting neutral & nice. I didn't try to ask her for a date. Then she started hitting on me & she walked me to my car. I was shocked but I talked nice to her. & told her that I would see her at the next Yoga class.
I really wish more women would be more like you Courtney Ryan, you dont play games as it should be. Nowadays the dating game is just a game of cat and mouse that's strenuous when it should be a fun journey of getting to know each other. Life isnt hard, human beings make it complicated all by themselves.
I went on a date with a young woman about two months ago, and she could not stop complaining about the guy she went on ONE date with about a week or two prior to our date. The whole time she kept bringing it up about how she just didn't understand why he ghosted her, and even leading up to the date in text messages, she constantly mentioned the guy that ghosted her. Our date started at a coffee shop and ended at her place watching a movie, where she gave me a giant Valentine's Day card that was supposed to be for the ghost guy, but since she never heard from him again, she gave it to me instead. After all that, she ghosted me a few days later and I'm really grateful she did. Spared me the trouble of having to tell her it wasn't going to work out. Moral of the story is, avoid talking about your ex's, and if you have to answer questions about ex's, be as brief and vague as possible, like this video says "it just didn't work out". You don't have to tell all the horrible and toxic things they did to you. Just say it's over and move on.
In some ways i think its better for you that she talks about it, in that she is signaling she is not emotionally available to you - but if she wanted opportunity for success with you then I agree.
She told you everything you need to know about her. chicks like that are crazy - and they will only be interested in a guy that they can't have - you stayed there are was the emotional tampon for her - she will be nice and say good things - but she has zero respect for you
That is stupid. She is not treating you like a toy. She needs to know you can protect her, will be loyal, etc…. It is natural and both men and women test each other unconsciously. So you’re either single or oblivious to your partner’s tests.
@@AvaMonceau Or, I look at it as the manipulation that it is. I would never do that to a partner or to friends as it's a display of basic distrust. I already ended friendships because of these stupid games, for the better.
10:49 Courtney, I have a story a bit similar to what you said. I signed up for a dating app just to test the environment there. I decided to put up a few gym selfies, one in a tank top, one shirtless with boxing gloves and a portrait. So in the tank top pic I am smiling, showing my teeth. A woman on the app responded by saying _you look constipated in that picture._ I take it as a joke, even though it's rude, or a back-handed compliment at best, and go along by saying _I usual am (constipated) but I have been detoxing lately so it's no longer a problem. She then responds by referring to my boxing pic by saying _why do you have your shirt off, this isn't porn._ At that point, I am annoyed so I return her message with _I'm sorry, I will dress like a monk for now on._ Her, thinking she's effectively flirting sends a response saying, _I am sure you get lots of women dm'ing you, especially for the _*_constipation picture_*_ here's my number (and gives me her phone number)._ I basically ignored her and moved on. Joking is okay but do a better job and don't constantly make back-handed compliments to someone you're trying to get to know.
One of my favorite things to do with a girl is if we’re having a disagreement on something mundane like food, music,etc., then to pretend to start walking away saying that’s a dealbreaker. You will get a chuckle or smirk from them 90% of the time
I like that. lol In those same situations where the outcome doesn't really matter, I enjoy giving them a look of horror, disbelief and disappointment, then saying, "You're a MONSTER." lol I feel like unless something actually makes you ill or triggers trauma (music, food, movies, etc) that most of those things are way easy to let go and not ever take too seriously.
Went on a date with a woman years ago. From the beginning she was more into her phone and who ever was in the other end of it. I could tell she was just there for a foodie call. Afterwards I paid the bill and said with sarcasm “thank you for a lovely evening you can go find Chad now” them got up and left. She was yelling wait you can’t leave me. She drove herself there. But I did. She wasted my time. I wasn’t gonna keep playing her game. She also wanted to go see a movie. Chad can pay for that. The server is a friend of mine. He told me when she yelled that I couldn’t just leave HER there he said “looks like he just did. Want a to go box for that dessert?” LOL
I really like your videos because you always approche the issues from a "female perspective "...and that's what exactly what we need to learn...thanks!!
A few weeks ago I started listening to Courtney's content and it's so interesting and appealing. So thanks Courtney your videos make a lot of my work hours more enjoyable!! Also I think there is a very easy way to talk to women. Always behaving friendly to people is good practice and then when that special someone appears for the first time you treat them the same plus genuine interest in classy sophisticated manner. Now I gotta test this new day lol Very nice Vid!
In my experience, men tend to be more direct in communication. If I guy says, "You don't have to stick around and wait," they usually mean it. I've known a handful of women who speak directly in communication, and I appreciate their candor. Most of the ones I've known are not candid. I'm not interested in playing mind games; I have neither the time nor the patience for it. I'm not interested in trying to translate the cuneiform of those mind games. The easier of the two communication styles to learn is the direct one. Speak honestly and openly with me, or leave me in peace.
My first spontaneous "Date" was after work for both of us. She already implied to be very independent, but also was realistic enough to go half and half. She said she had a bad experience when another guy lost it, for her offering to pay the whole meal. Where we just had an agreed system. I pay for coffee, she paid for lunch, i paid for the movie. Like a solid relationship, was already years in. And we both enjoyed being already in agreement when it came to the dates. My date and I also kept tabs, of "Did you make it home okay?" or "let me know when you get home safe" simple and to the point. It also gives you the protection feel & at least you both know you both care enough to want to know.
As far as banters go - it's all fun and games as long as it on guy's expense, flip it and say "you're not pretty enough to be my girlfriend" and see how most of them will be offended and show attitude. Well where's your light hearted flirting spirit now lol?
I was looking for a comment like this. I wouldn't necessarily word it the same but agree with the premise. I normally agree with Courtney but I think she's a little naive about that. Of course tone matters too but in my experience women like picking at guys "playfully" but don't like it themselves. They are typically the ones who get offended by it. But I guess anybody who's insecure is going to no matter the gender.
@@heyblinken7750 yes, i meant playful manner as well. Well, many of them like standards and make them double ;) luckily it's a great sheet test for us as well.
The sad thing is, many of these "tests" are actually a kind of behavior that is attractive to more traditional guys, meaning that they want to protect and provide. In that sense, it can be more of an invitation than a test. (Based on my experience the cultural background is very important in that regard.)
You hit it right on nail when you said Action speaks louder than words Courtney. God wired you women differently to us. Love your videos. Keep up the fabulous work! ❤
If she thinks/or demands a guy to pay for her when you’re not a couple yet then I assume she doesn’t have a job or is entitled. You’re either a broke damsel in distress or strong and independent. Cherry picking is over. I don’t get used for free drinks or food anymore.
Had to jump in and comment. Got shoved down the Courtney Rabbit Hole by the YT algorithm, and I have been genuinely been hearing things that are a breath of fresh air from a woman’s perspective. I’ve been married 8 years now, and even a few of these things my wife does on a regular basis. And it’s INFURIATING. I don’t need to be constantly tested, I need you to be honest and open and normal. Ladies, just because you play games and have deep thoughts about everything, doesn’t mean guys do, or that we even like to play them.
Just like how girls trash on every ex-boyfriend or every child's father and never once realizes that maybe her abusive and toxic behavior might have been the commonality in all of the severing of the relationships. I have heard some people say that if she talks bad about her ex-boyfriends, you are the next one to be talked bad about
My last wife knew I was married before her. When she asked me what happened, I told her to have a seat in the library (yes, I have a library), and I came back with a file. It was my first wife's divorce decree and all surrounding pictures and footage, as well as 12 micro-tapes, and told her if she wanted to know, this will tell you what you want to know. Any questions, I'll answer to the best of my ability. I did the same thing for my kid's mother. I am that person who documents the demise of my relationships in case anyone wants to know later, it isn't "my word against hers and she's not here..." After my final divorce, I stopped caring about that because I was raising my kid alone, and being a boyfriend or husband was not on my list of priorities. I was also 38 then, and now that my own kid is grown, out of the house, and married, nothing has changed.
Courtney, thank you for the time you take to make these videos and sharing with us clueless men so that we know how to correctly avoid these pitfalls. I have failed some of these in the past, but will for sure pass them in the future. Thank you!!!
I agree with the idea that a lot of these tests are subconscious so most of the time don't get phased by it. Generally I think it's probably better to err on the side of being considerate without doing anything over the top or desperate. What these tests are will obviously vary based on a number of factors (insecurities, trust issues) and there's not really a textbook approach to passing them so just generally have an understanding that she's going to pick up on your behavior and don't overthink it. If a relationship does come out of it, you probably will gain a better understanding of why she tested you in those ways.
On one hand I do kind of get why ladies would want to put out these kinds of tests. As mentioned in other videos on this channel, ladies are inundated with guys who are interested in them. So, I could see how having certain tests could help to winnow out what a lady might see as the good guys from the not so good guys. That being said I'm not a fan of how that's portrayed in the TikTok video because, from my perspective at least, it comes across as the TikToker sees guys as a commodity to be weighed and judged, rather than a person with real feelings. Creating an attitude of testing guys because they're just toys to play with and be discarded if they show any sort of blemish doesn't sit well and can lead many guys to saying "what's the point?" So good on you Courtney for calling out the playing games just to play games childish mindset that's out there. I fully agree a guy should be a gentleman while out and about. But it leaves a bad taste in the mouth if a lady is trying to force gentlemanly behavior out of a guy which is the vibe I got from the TIk Tok video.
Who in their right mind would wanna longterm date a chick who's so 'diabolical' as Courtney put it? I literally could not care how good looking they are if they are like the chick in the TikTok.
Well some men do grow up with trauma from abusive parents, even a single mother can abuse her son, and they will always end up being pursued by an abusive narcissist and basically just accept it because they don't understand any other version of attention
@@LatimusChadimus Yeah that's a good point. If you haven't been able to process that abuse from your younger years and get past it properly, you will fall into people pleasing and accepting the toxic behaviour or disrespect from the girl becsuse 1. It feels familiar, and 2. You don't have enough self-esteem to feel like you deserve better and walk away from it, and maybe even 3. You have stronger emotional needs because of the instability in your childhood.
I can't imagine staying home, watching a movie and ordering a pizza with someone like that. She has probably gone on a hundred dates-with a hundred different guys. Lol.
Testing is ok if you are truly trying to learn who they are not trying to play a game. It goes both ways though gentleman test to make sure she is kind, caring, down to earth etc. Just as much as we have to (rightly) prove we are worthy they also have to.
I've had women pull that jealousy test on me before and it just makes them look weird. This girl that had been talking to me and touching me at a party told me to dance and since I hate dancing I said no. The next thing she does is walk up to the birthday boy and starts grinding on him lol. If I didn't want her then, why would I want her now? Unfortunately I think many women do not know how to be gracious.
The thing I find completely annoying is when me and someone are having decent conversations and as soon as I ask her out she ghosts me even though I didn't even mentioned my ideas. Or she leads me on to something then says that she's not interested. It's so frustrating cause they way that I'm getting tested comes off as Uncleared, Indirect or that I have to guess everything or ask this or that the right way. I don't think woman should test men period. Only if it's playfully or if it has a healthy purpose.
Thank You Courtney Ryan, you provide sensible, well thought out commentary and you try to see people's behavior from many perspectives. The quality of the videos that you make is so high that many other people are using excerpts from your videos.
In this particular video, I agree with all the points that you made, and I think you should have emphasized one of your final comments earlier on: women that deliberately put men through these tests are raising red flags. In general, men are expected to be more down-to-earth, straight forward, and honest, and if men ever put their dates through tests like these, I'm sure that in most cases their dates would end the prospective relationships immediately, and then call out those men publicly or tarnish their reputations. Think of the equivalent of your example of a woman sarcastically commenting on the weakness of a man that works out at the gym everyday: the equivalent would be a man sarcastically commenting on the fatness of a woman that puts much effort into controlling her weight. How would any woman react to that? It wouldn't matter if it was just a test or a joke, and in some ways the fact that it was a test or a joke might make the comment worse.
TikTok is great for a lot of women exposing themselves as to why they shouldn’t be dated.
Wham bam point&laugh at the ma'am (when she crashes into the wall)
Hahahah
True. And I thought Twitter was a toxic cesspool of garbage and scum. TikTok takes that to a whole new level.
It is
And good public service announcements of what type of women to avoid.
I've had two women test me for "jealousy" or "territorial" nature by doing this psychotic thing: they'd start talking to a guy next to us at a bar, begin ignoring me, and get their number whilst looking at me for a reaction. One of them said, "does it bother you I did that?" Both times I smiled, was unphased, drank my whiskey, and knew I wasn't going to deal with their bullshit after that night ever again. They'd try to ensue more dates after that. Till this day those sociopaths are still single and living with cats (seriously).
It seems alot of these women, and people in general, are really wounded inside, partly due to being raised in toxic environments as children, compounded by being exposed daily to our over sexualized, consumerist, narcissistic society therefore, creating alot of broken inauthentic individuals
One did that with me. I left her
Shit my ex knew how to text but make it look like it was from an anonymous number and pulled that on me pretending to be asian throwing herself at me to see if I would cheat on her....should have realized right there and then something was very off with her
Entrapment is illegal, there's no moral difference here. You should be personally offended when they pull these tests don't stand for it.
Had my ex do this to me on our vacation. She got a dudes phone number and I didn’t do shit lol just took mental note and broke up with her in my head
We men also need to test women
Whether she's feminine
Whether she's cooperative
Whether she's supportive
Whether she's behaving properly
Whethe she respect me
That’s right !
That's msygonist. Only women get to drill people
Take 2wks leave but tell her you lost your job. You'll soon see who she really is.
The majority of young modern women will fail all of those tests.
@@moleahy6880 They don't care. They have of a line of 20 other dudes all hoping for the chance to jump in
I remember hearing from Courtney once that single women give advice that keeps other women single. That first video clip really hit home.
Explain more please.
What singel woman giving advice?
You mean the woman in Corteneys video or did you mean another dateing-coach that is female?
I am asking, because I recently saw another video on the same topic, made by another female dateing coach.
And that "coach" had a whole OTHER take on the subjekt. (A very bad one).
Corteney is really good. The more I see of her videos, the more I trust her competence.
@@shastregorshonirel2598 I agree with you about Courtney. She comes from a good family, background, upbringing and obviously good gene pool.
I'm gonna just be super blunt and say that you are without a doubt one of the most empathetic women that is of your caliber of beauty and I very much appreciate you being the person that you are which is so down-to-earth and generous. To discuss these things and with the loving insight that you do it with without all the bs of most toxic women these days is a diamond and I am so grateful to you! And thank the lord you don't do the jerky stop/start editing either ! Kudos to your good taste and values!!
Very well said!
Agreed. I just wonder how her boyfriend/husband is towards her, you know? Following your own practices kind-a-thing. A lot of therapists, counselors, are the most messed up people lol. A lot of them don't take their own advice.
I graduated university 3 years ago. I’m done with tests. If women want to test me they can, but don’t be surprised when I walk away because of it.
A test failed is a test passed.
then you'll never have success with women - all women test.
This is funny 😂
@@Illlium what?
@@wavygoods877 Failing is better for you in the long run. Is that clearer?
I understand why a woman would want to test a man for competence and emotional intelligence, but once you get one or two answers, you should quit doing the testing and maybe start to enjoy the company before it becomes a game and the guy leaves
Nothing wrong with that, just learn to choose the right woman.
@@GoAlphaIce 100%
Well said
@@causalitymastered even though in Disney movies they always kill off the mother, sometimes both parents
Women will always test you, even after 10 years of marriage
Courtney I don't think you understand how rare it is for a woman to show the kindness, empathy and understanding the you do towards men. You give us hope
Agreed. Courtney is very feminine and soft spoken as well.
@@Isaiah593 Here,here
I love how she hasn't hearted this comment. Wonder if that means something...
@@StarboyXL9 he is one of many zillions of comments. Its a sweet comment, but her not hearting it doesnt mean she dont care.
Man, is that the truth!
The confidence test..that’s the one. I’ve definitely gotten defensive 🤦🏻♂️ and then realized later it wasn’t that serious. Gems man.
I bet when they're being tested it's serious.
Homegirl your content is on point tbh. Especially for us men not so experienced in the art of dating and women. You’re the 🐐
The guy LITERALLY DID CARE FOR HER SAFETY and offered her a drive, and SHE SAID NO, and because she declined - HE IS A BAD PERSON?!?!?! What is this world we are living in???
Hes supposed to be able to read her mind, that's how it is in the fake movies and romance novels these women get their "feels" from.
It’s also unfair to his Uber driver who is there waiting for him, he had to leave.
@@johnsmith-kt7ef When women get frustrated with you for not reading their minds, call them out on it. I've done this and it shuts them up and they never do it again. Works every time. I ask them if THEY can TRULY read MY mind right there in that moment. They get flustered and usually just walk away.
Yes, just like if he ask for consent regarding sex, if she answer "yes" he's supposed to know she mean no and now you will get a r*pe-charge.
If he'd stayed, she'd be telling of how he failed her test by being domineering and overbearing. The purpose of the original video is not actually to express a consistent standard, it's a statment of status; she's declaring to other women that she's more picky than they are and therefore more desirable herself.
I love when she says "BYE" if I don't pay on the first date. My sentiments exactly. Byyyyeeee, because I'm not paying for a girl that clearly only wants men for free stuff, and not a meaningful relationship.
Dude! 100%. I think a man should be prepared to pay, but it's so nice when the woman offers to pay half and means it. I think nothing is more attractive than a truly independent woman who does not need you for anything, but rather wants you because they like you.
They haven’t earned it, you don’t know them they don’t know you. The entitlement is disgusting coz they have a vagina lol
Agreed. One of my biggest red flags is when girls don't even acknowledge the bill. I always offer to pay, and when a girl offers to pay her share she gets put high on my list. It completely kills the vibe i have for a girl if she doesn't even thank you/acknowledge paying for it at all.
That being said I always try to pay out of how I was raised, but when someone doesn't even remotely try to pay for themselves, its a huge turn off for me and I usually end up not dating them again. Again I know nerves are sometimes on the table, and if i pay and the girl thanks me later and says she will buy next time, I can appreciate that. But when theres 0 intension of them saying thank you or paying for themselves I usually call it quits there. Because to me that sounds like I'm about to get used.
@@Kjertinge it’s a form of prostitution! Who the fuck in this equal dating world thinks they’re entitled to our money for what exactly - Turning up or being a woman lol?! If they don’t bring anything to the table proverbially then they aren’t worth it
@@urlauburlaub2222 I hear you, It's just the sentiment if you take out your wallet to pay, if she insists on paying (which I won't let her haha) that says alot about her character. That she is a potential partner and wants to be equals.
It's amazing how that girl in the TikTok video managed to present half a dozen red flags within the first second:
1. Using TikTok
2. Cringy Username
3. Extreme arrogance and entitlement
4. Treating relationships like a transactional game
5. Far too much makeup (Insecurity)
6. Plastic surgery (More insecurity)
I wouldn't even think of dating someone like that, and I pity the men who would
I'd add a 7th one: She's from Miami.
there is nothing attractive about her.
Yet... no response to the actual content of her cringy message.
@@therealsandraweise What kind of response does it merit? She's free to "test" anyone, but she has failed to demonstrate what actual value she provides in case a man "passes". Is she loyal? Loving? Supportive? Does she have good morals? Will she be a good wife and mother? Because if the only thing she's offering in return is her body, or her fake plastic looks, then that's a pretty shit trade. It's not even that I necessarily disagree on the things she mentions, they are things I think are correct for a man to do, and things I do for my fiancée.
But a proper relationship is a give and take from both sides, with both adding up their best qualities and helping eachother overcome their worst ones, to become a better whole. All her cringy message conveys is entitlement of galactic proportions and a willingness to play stupid games, which I don't think deserves any kind of proper response, but rather scorn
@@therealsandraweise the response is in the video why repeat the same thing ?
Men: YOU OWE WOMEN NOTHING
One thing I had to learn about having a crazy ex, (who was legit batshit nuts) is women will by default side with another woman even if they do not know her if they also do not know you and are trying to figure you out. it doesn’t actually matter how crazy she actually was to you or any example you can give, the best response to something about your ex is something like “we just grew apart, I wish her the best, but I realized she wasn’t the one for me”
Hence why feminism and metoo caught on so quick.
Honestly, the moment I realize that someone is playing a game on me, we are done. This doesn't apply just to dating. Honesty is one of my highest values, therefore I just shut down if someone is dishonest with me. These girls should also realize that men are not stupid. Some, if not all of us, can sense that you're just not straight with your intentions.
me too. I hate games. Emotional testing..
@@charlesoni2787 the "haha all these guys want me" tactic doesn't work on me, ironically if I mention a female they really get envious, once I see that I walk away
Life should be a wonderful journey not a game and when anyone devalues my life or anyone else's life on dating or sex I don't have any respect for them
i generally agree, but sometimes a person can be genuinely good and they'll stop if you tell them to. sometimes it's because of habit or social expectation, sometimes it's because they're a bit mischivioeus and want to have fun.
i don't think you should be so harsh and immediately reject them after just 1 "game"
@@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 I would like to respond to you in a way that potentially covers the main thoughts behind this.
First of all (I'm just curious), what do you mean by "social expectation"?
Now, the reasoning behind my original comment:
Problem with a lot of men nowadays is that they don't often realize their value. They very often submit themselves to girls by giving them a lot of attention and time they don't deserve - they basically give them free attention for nothing. Once a girl knows she can get it from you just like that, she will lose respect for you. You're basically just another guy that gave her follow on IG. I don't say be intentionally harsh to women and intentionally ignore them. No, don't do that. What I'm saying is know your value as a man, respect yourself and put yourself first. Your own life is your highest priority. Women are not and never be in the first place in your life, as harsh as it may sound. I know it sounds very rude and harsh but in the end it actually benefits both of you (we can have a call if you want me to explain this to you on a deeper level).
Now, with everything mentioned above, how does this apply to the so called "game"? Well, a girl can be the nicest girl on the Earth but if you don't set boundaries and let her do anything she wants, she immediately loses respect for you. She knows that you let her do that and she got away with it. And since she knows you already let her get away with it, guess what, she will do it again.
You can say whatever you want, but ultimately, the relationship is about respect. If she doesn't respect you, you're just wasting time with her.
Now, what you said about this tolerance for one game, it may work, but from my own experience, rarely does this really work. Just ask yourself this: If she's like that, if she plays games with you, why the hell would you even bother wasting your valuable time with this kind of girl? Why don't you rather find a girl that is genuinely interested in you, is straight with you and gives you clear signs that she really likes you? What the hell is wrong with you, man? Don't be delusional. Don't be a simp. She's not worth your effort. If she's playing games with you, she's wasting your time you could have otherwise spend on improving your life, just think about it.
Know your value, man. Put your life first, since it's your highest priority and don't let any girl distract you from your goals, regardless of how beautiful she is or how big of a connection you feel. Dude, there are so many beautiful women that you have a strong connection with. Stop having this mindset of "Oh, I think she's the one". More likely than not, she's not.
Like I said, this might be a bit too complex topic for a comment section, so if you want, we can arrange a call and I will explain it to you in a more detail. I wish you all the best and good luck on your life journey. Stay strong, man.
99% realise it, it's just that some choose to convince themselves otherwise.
I texted a girl after a date just to see if she made it home safe and she basically said I was too nice lol dating is a nightmare, damned if you do damned if you don't.
Question, was that really all you texted or did you right away followed up with more nice comments like you had a great a time and would love to see her again?
You did the right thing!!!! Runnnnnnnnn. She is not worth it period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy tbursday bro. Much success!!!!!!
You are def a gentleman for doing so but I am sensing that with her response, she just wasn't likely interested in a second date and that was her try at a nice let down. Don't stop being a good guy. There are ladies that will appreciate that gesture and will be interested in you enough to go on another date.
That is one weird woman. One of the most attractive things about my husband when we were datinv and even now was his concern about my safety and wellbeing. When I met him after work at a restaurant he would ask me to c!ll him when I arrived home. Every single day that I work he asks me to call or text b/c he wants to know that I've made it to work safely. Now I ask him to do the same.
Too nice meaning she wants a man who beats on her. Sadly or something like that. My first ex wife said I was a mama's boy.....I need a man. Shoeshine she ended up having a baby with her next dude..he was aggressive and abusive. Ling story. If anyone wants to know ...ask me
I understood what the woman in the video was trying to convey, but she's going about it in a way that won't lead to a great outcome. How about instead of constantly testing people and playing mind games, we just confirm that we like someone instead of being insecure about every little thing that does or doesn't happen.
I don’t know what she was in about or who she thinks she is but she needs to stop reading her tik tok comments by men who want to get in her pants their making her deluded about her own value, all I see is a big man child making tik tok vidoes and she looks 30 enough said
I have a serious problem with women like her making themselves a massive target where they have no situational awareness or contingency plan in the event that a date goes south, and yet expecting the guy to be all of this that she wants.
The irony is that she puts guys through tests to see if they can provide and protect, when she should be doing that herself already. She should be looking after herself first and foremost rather than basically plopping herself in a guy's arms with the expectation that he'll protect her. Unnecessarily risking her safety that will get her stranded at 4AM in a massive city... Real smart.
These women are literally putting their lives in these guy's hands completely and are at his mercy because they want all the responsibilities to fall onto him. They aren't protecting themselves and would rather risk putting their lives in the wrong person's hands over a fucking test.
If she's out past 12AM with a guy and not considering that maybe this guy is sketchy and that she's already backed herself into a corner, the best case scenario was that he left her in the middle of Miami at 4AM.
I get it, that's a sketchy and inconsiderate thing to do and tells ME as a guy that he isn't into her like that, but she have no idea how badly it could have gone.
These kinds of women are not datable for their own sake. They constantly put a massive target on their back, with no concern for their own potential safety and have next to no situational awareness or escape route in the event that a date goes south.
Thank you so much Courtney! Your presentations are so well delivered-it seems that you tend to be thorough & give clear examples. Plus, I like how you describe how women & men think, which can be difficult for some of us introverts to figure out, being so logical & direct. You are one of my favorite counselors/advisors!
Be careful, ladies, we know how to play games too! I started dated a woman, and before I said anything else I told her up front "I'm NOT looking to get married, and I am NOT interested in having kids" she understood, and we started dating. As soon as I was getting into starting a business of my own, she changed! Next thing you know, she's saying "I want to get married, I want to have a baby!" As soon as she did that, I broke up with her!
Only women can come with a story like this and type it out in this kind of manner...nice try who ever you are lmao!...
@@qbik911 Well, you're wrong! The story is true, and I'm a guy.
@@qbik911 What some women have to understand is there are men that say what they mean and mean what they say. However, when you tell them up front before even starting the relationship that you are NOT interested in marriage or having kids, foolish women ignore this and look at you as a challenge.
Another thing is, too, how women want to constantly change their man. Another game they play is withholding sex until they get their way. When an ex did that to me, I said right to her face, " Oh, goodie! Because I have been wanting to bang the hot woman up the street.
This specific woman that I'm speaking of, her name is Monica. When Monica and I first started dating, she never told me I would have to punk off and get rid of her ex-boyfriend Dan. It was like she kept quiet about that part. Dan was fresh out of jail, could bench press 450 pounds as he lifted weights like 6 hours per day.
Dan was threatening me as I was in Monica's apartment, he's on the phone with his buddies making all types of threats.
I kid you not, I talked bravely through the phone, but in reality I was shaking like a leaf on a tree during a wind storm. So Dan shortly afterward shot at Monica's windows with a bb gun. Guess who had to fix the window?
You see, Monica mismanaged a LOT of things and threw me in harms way while doing it. So when Monica knew I wanted to start a business, all she could see was the dollars coming in and started talking her junk - "I want to get married and have a baby!"
To ladies who read this. When a woman puts her man's life in jeopardy, we look at it as "That's strike 1" Monica also caused my motorcycle to get stolen! That was strike 2.
Then, when Monica pulled that stunt when I was starting a business, "I want to get married, I want to have a baby!" That was strike 3! See ya! Men are way too soft with women. As for myself, I could never stand a woman who wants to control every aspect of my life and tries to make my life all about her. NOPE!!!! Hit the road!
My man!!!
@@AK-American When a woman becomes money hungry, she then becomes like a blood sucking machine. Men should NEVER EVER let their women control their relationship yet so many men do. I then dated Glady, who was way worse than Monica. She warned me that she was like an apple that was all beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside. I said, "Oh, c'mon, nobody is like that. I WAS WRONG! Long story short, I was watching a preacher on TV named Joyce Myers, and she said, "If you want to know if someone loves you for you or the money, get rid of the money and see how you are being treated." At this point in my life, I owned a landscaping business.
I only had like $3,000.00 in the bank and thought "Okay I could earn this back in a short time, let's test Glady."
First, we went on a shopping spree! Yea! Glady LOVED IT! Then I waited a day or two and while waking up one morning I said "Glady, I have some bad news! She said what? I said, "I'm Broke!"
She said what? I said, "Yeah, I'm broke!"
Then Gladly flipped out! What do you mean you're broke? I have given you the best years of my life! Why am I even with you?!!! She would constantly repeat this. I had suddenly become this HUGE LOSER in her eyes. Yet she was the one who was caught sleeping with other guys. Well, this went on for days! Like 3 days! Day 3 was enough for me! I said to her Glady, guess what? We're moving!
She said really? I said yep! I'm going my way and you're going your way! Then Glady said, "Oh, so now you're leaving me too?!!!! I said YEP! Then I took the trash to the curb!!! Leaving Glady was THE BEST THING I EVER DID! Till this day I can't stand her! All this happened back in 1997. I have remained single since then. No sloppy, mean, cruel divorces ( as one would go through if married ) nope! Just open up a can of "B!tch be gone" and POOF!!! B!tch was gone!
Videos like these are really a gold mine of information. They show how toxic, entitled, hypocritical, and thoroughly unattractive so many young modern women are. A lot of these girls are going to be extremely bitter in the years ahead when they end up completely alone or as single mothers.
Bro. That's just how women are. Remember, women have the power of relationship, sex, and all things feminine since the beginning of time. This is a gold mine of info. Coach Corey Wayne and others on you tube go over this when you TH-cam their videos. You will then see oh that's why she dumped me or why this girl turned cold and ghosted me after I said X etc. Don't be mad at nurture but learn. Women test with competency, strength, and masculinity. They will change an opinion for example to see if you will change yours to match. If you do this you will be done. A woman randomly did this to me a few months ago but I was prepped and she was all over me and flirty afterwards as that was rare in her eyes. Research the material and learn from ccw and others. You will beat out rich and handsome men as women prefer those who pass these tests and are more masculine and badass and strong over richer and handsomer
Western society is flooded by oversexualization in music, moves, shows, narcissism on social media, and over consumption in shopping malls malls and Amazon. We are creating hollow, selfish, broken individuals.
@@timothygibney159 I'm an older guy and have a lot of experience with women. My goal was never to beat out any other guy if the so called prize was a toxic entitled good for nothing woman. Women like that are a dime a dozen. Always have been. The other guy was welcome to that.
With 10 cats.
You seem like a man incel and upset too ...
Don’t listen to this channel for dating advice it’s a load of bollocks.
They are saying to attract you need to be yourself and do what you like to do. This is definitely not true. You can be yourself and do what you like to do and women wont care because of other factors that she doesn’t explain...
I stopped watching after the first "test". By telling her date she didn't want him to stay and wait around with her until her Uber arrived, she told him he was not needed. Guys just want to be needed by the women in their lives. Had you simply asked him to stay and protect you at 4am in Miami, you would have made him feel like his was needed, you would have been safer in that environment, and you could have kept the conversation going a bit further. But yeah, lets test him by throwing all that out. Technically you still would have been testing him because if he didnt want to stay then he doesnt view you as a match. No guy would leave if he was interested, and she asked him to wait with her.
He “failed” her test be she also “failed” his. 🤣 love to see it
He's not wrong, here.
@@bulletzzz3 she failed by testing him
That's indeed another way of looking at it - perhaps that's exactly why he left: She made him feel not-needed (maybe it happened even during or throughout the date) and by then he had already decided he was done with her. Her saying that Maybe "confirmed" it for him. Still not a "gentlemanly" thing to do on his part, but maybe she even drove him to do that.....
Well the way the woman in the TikTok video presents herself is way too manipulative and arrogant, and I agree with you re: The 'protect' test- She shouldn't have to lie to make a man read her true intentions, because some men would take her word for it and avoid being clingy or even stalkish by leaving her alone, thus getting unjustly tarred with the same brush when his true intentions were to give the woman her own space. In cases like this honest & direct communication is especially important because this will profoundly impact the way communication is done in a potential relationship!
A friend of mine got tested by being friendzoned to see if he’d push through and “escape” the friendzone. He did escape the friendzone after one year by getting a new girlfriend and the girl testing him flipped her shoes in a jealousy rage fit. Y do u dis women? 🚩🚩🚩🚩
*Jealousy
@@XFS540 fixed
She got jealous
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Because some women like to stock up on guys. Disgusting isn't it?
I've been watching a TON of Relationship advice videos & this is one of the best I've seen so far. I LOVE @CourtneyRyan videos. She presents herself well, dressed very professionally, There's an air of quiet confidence coming out of her, She's softly spoken. There's nothing 'Busy' going on in the background, choosing for something plain / simple, non distracting. Courtney could easily pass for a relationship Counselor outside of these videos. And she's super likeable. Subscribing to her honestly feels like a WIN / WIN. :)
OMG you are so good at explaining this complicated verbal and non-verbal communication. When you showed that video my first thought was oh no, that is so messed up but like how you called that girl out on her methods. Shows you are being neutral and genuine. I rarely give likes, but this video deserves it. Well done. You gave great advice to both sexes.
There’s 758 sexes now.
It's one thing to get to know someone by asking questions, yes I agree. It becomes too much when you're consistently being tested and then written off it it's the wrong answer. It's no wonder so many walk on eggshells.
Totally agree
@@CourtneyRyan and to add, so many walk into dating with fear and resentment
Last girl I went on a date with literally admitted she was going to test me before hand. She told me I could come back to her place after the date IF I passed her test, which she didn't tell me what it was at first. During the date, we did go back to her place and I found out the "test" was her cousin literally spied on my personal info online to make sure I was "cool". She refused to tell me where or how he got the info, especially since she herself didn't even know my last name.
Drop her.
Aaah the Jealousy test, when I was younger I didn’t even knew it was a « test ». My reactions were: « Oh I miss interpreted her attractiveness for me, she is obviously attracted to that other dude, better leave her alone… ». I dodged a few bullets…
Great mentality you have there.
That's the right reaction to have btw 😅
I mean, if a guy did that with other girls, she'd leave him in a heartbeat. Double standards are real, and they're BS.
my career is professional sales - my views on this are along these lines - there’s a difference between a calculated “test” & simply & honestly “qualifying” a person, much like you would qualify a potential customer/client ... there’s also a difference in “poking fun” & hitting below the belt ... i like your content; you appear to be genuine & sincere & rational - a rarity IMO
When I first met my wife, I told her not to test me. She tried twice before we got married, both times I told her it wasn't happening. She learned her lesson by getting shown the door each time.
Women can test men at their own risk. A real man that finds out he is being "tested" will just leave your ass right then and there.
It’s really cool that a woman made a channel about relationships for men. I respect that ✊
I think testing a person's character is fine but what I disagree and protest with is the mind games and manipulation people pull on each other to try and get an advantage.
Do you think people do the mind games and manipulation based on their own insecurities? (I'm just curious).
@@angelvargas6190 I'm not a psychologist but I believe it's a mix of insecurities from a past relationship, bad home life or influence from social media.
@@angelvargas6190 Definitely. Manipulation is about control. A person feels like they need to be in control of another person because deep down, they don't think that they deserve to get what they want, and they are scared that they won't get it, so being manipulative and controlling are ways to temporarily ease that fear. This is an insecurity that will lead to misery if we don't address these issues within ourselves.
Indeed.
The girl in the tiktok would have likely failed all of my tests for being lying, manipulative, and self-entitled. Me pay on the first date? That's fine, but for no more than a coffee or a beer. You want some tasty $5 Starbucks and hang out for a bit and talk? No problem at all, I'm down. If you're all like "lolz cheapskate" you're just a stranger wasting my time and money. Bye. Next.
Next we have two Ubers coming, and mine gets there first. I offer to stay with you and you say "no you don't have to do that" but mean the exact opposite because you want to test me? Done. Bye. A. you just proved you can't even communicate basic needs without being manipulative and B. you just withheld your consent for me to remain there with you. What am I supposed to do? Hang out with you after you just explicitly said NO DON'T DO THAT? There's a reason I asked if you wanted me to stay there in the first place. It's called healthy communication. I'm not going to forcibly protect you against your will. Healthy humans don't do that, toxic people do.
Lastly, if you complain that you're cold and I offer you a jacket but you refuse and continue to complain and offer no alternative, this is an obvious red flag. It means you just like to complain, and have no interest in cooperating to solve the issue. If you complain you're cold, refuse my jacket, and then you're suddenly not cold anymore, then I know you just lied, and you're done.
As you might have surmised, I don't have any tolerance for manipulators. Neither should you. Don't settle for terrible behavior.
Thanks for this. It's really refreshing to see a woman talking about men's lived experience while also offering a woman's perspective. I think your videos could be immensely helpful to a lot of young men who are pretty lost and confused in this life. I know I would have benefitted a lot from your videos when I was younger LOL.
I really enjoy your videos, not because i need the advice, but because you react and analyze a lot of these cringe videos women do. You are a soothing counter point to them and rather than throw gas on the fire, you talk about the genuine concerns they might have actually addressed and point out the fault in their approach. Keep doing what you're doing, you're appreciated.
After going out 3 times and paying all 3 times, this psycho girl invited me to lunch and offered to pay. When the waitress dropped off the check, I still offered but she insisted on paying so I let her. As soon as the waitress left with her card, she immediately told me her mother told her never to pay for a date and she couldn't believe I let her pay. She was done after that. Women can be so idiotic!
What a waste of your time money and effort man she’s a disgrace
She did you a favor then
@@fromrighttoleft8328 she sure did.
I hope she left a nice tip. Stupid hoe
Amazing how we all learn bad advice. Her mom is a gold digger
Good point, if a woman teases you about something just play along with it. And you can test her and tease her to see how she reacts.
As the father of two daughters and a son I would be irate if I heard any of them treating another person like this. What spoiled brats these young people have become. People like her will give out “tests” until they look around and there won’t be anybody to give a test to.
And look at it this way,
I have a serious problem with women like her making themselves a massive target where they have no situational awareness or contingency plan in the event that a date goes south, and yet expecting the guy to be all of this that she wants.
The irony is that she puts guys through tests to see if they can provide and protect, when she should be doing that herself already. She should be looking after herself first and foremost rather than basically plopping herself in a guy's arms with the expectation that he'll protect her. Unnecessarily risking her safety that will get her stranded at 4AM in a massive city... Real smart.
These women are literally putting their lives in these guy's hands completely and are at his mercy because they want all the responsibilities to fall onto him. They aren't protecting themselves and would rather risk putting their lives in the wrong person's hands over a fucking test.
If she's out past 12AM with a guy and not considering that maybe this guy is sketchy and that she's already backed herself into a corner, the best case scenario was that he left her in the middle of Miami at 4AM.
I get it, that's a sketchy and inconsiderate thing to do and tells ME as a guy that he isn't into her like that, but she have no idea how badly it could have gone.
These kinds of women are not datable for their own sake. They constantly put a massive target on their back, with no concern for their own potential safety and have next to no situational awareness or escape route in the event that a date goes south.
Conversely though, my daughter went out with a young man and she called me if I could go pick her up in downtown bc there was a family emergency at her date's place and he wanted to go home as quickly as possible. When I got to the pickup spot, the young man was still standing next to her. Chivalrous young man, good on him. His father is a chaplain in the military.
Spot on
I love when you said you find these things naturally about people as time goes on. You don't have to do these crazy test on these insane level.
I think you are courageus, caring, candid, and remarkable; Id listen to you all moments of sacred episodes.
A big green flag for me was when she apologized for not asking if she could order dessert, even though I mirrored the waitresses question to her (indicating I was fine with it). She just didn't pick up on that cue, and apologized for a potential misstep. Now that she said she just wants to be friends, she specifically makes sure I'm not paying for her lunch. Green flags for either a relationship or a friend.
Why would you be ok with being friends
@@TemperedWambat you typically wouldn't but being friends with women open doors to other women.
@@TemperedWambat we have good conversations, but we both were feeding off each other's anxiety sometimes, making us incompatible without getting a lot more relaxed around each other. Also the effort of maintaining a friendship (e.g. scheduling the next get together, texting back, etc.) improves my mental health. What do I lose from being friends?
@@brainwater fax bro! Im semi the same way when an interest turns friend.... Getting to know/comfortable around women in ALL capacities has no choice but to be beneficial if the guy compartmentalizes correctly.....shit she might have a compatible friend for all we know😏
@@brainwater You don't get what you want. Which is a relationship or sex. You're basically settling for less.
Ill never understand people’s need to pollute a relationship with unnecessary drama for the sake of “testing someone “. No matter how well intended it is, Lying and manipulation is never a good way start a relationship.
And I would suggest people refrain from poking fun at someone on the first date. You usually don’t know enough about each other on the first date to get each others humor enough to pick up on the joke. It’s not a red flag for someone to not get your sense of humor on a first date.
Like if you told me the joke you stated in the video, “oh your not muscular enough for me”. If I don’t know you enough to understand that you are being sarcastic, I’d assume you are just being honest. I wouldn’t typically get angry and freak out about it, Id just leave you and stop talking to you. In my mind id be thinking “ why waste my time with someone who doesn’t find me attractive?”.
these dumb tests are part of their biology. it is stupid though.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now without subscribing. I’m subscribing now. Because I like you as a person and I respect you. In this super toxic internet environment, honest , kind, SANE and dare I say normal people like you, in a time when most people seem like they’ve lost their minds, you deserve to be supported and heard. I agree with you that putting people to “tests” deliberately says more about you than it does them (and not in a good way). Surely you’ll discover things organically as you go. Me personally, I just moved to live in the US recently. I grew up in the Middle East, gender roles is much clearer. A man ALWAYS pays the bill. Weather it’s the first date or the one millionth. Even when it’s men out, we fight over who’ll pay “I’ll take care of this, no I’ll take care of this”. You’re considered cheap if you don’t do that. Only exception is when you’re a group of close friends who are always going out together, then yes we split the bill. Regarding the jacket test, I actually was with a Canadian woman once in Italy, it wasn’t a date, we just met in a restaurant in Manarola. As two strangers and tourists, we exchanged talk, she sat on my table and we talked and had fun. It was late so I walked her to where she was staying, it started to rain, I had a jacket on and she didn’t, it seemed the only normal thing to do which is taking off my jacket and giving it to her. I find it confusing, here in the west, when women on one hand are almost fully empowered, yet they still ask for these chivalrous acts of men. It’s like they want it both ways. We’re strong and equal and free to do what we want (which is amazing and great) , but they still want to comfy to traditional gender roles only when it’s convenient to them!
P.S sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. English isn’t my first language.
Great point about women who want the best of both worlds. btw, your english is better than most that have english as their first language!
@@apexdisease6030 thank you
Despite a few mistakes, your English is better than that of most natives (US & UK), so relax.
And there it is; the final proof of this all being some self-induced madness, when even someone outside western culture notices the hypocracy going on. All the more reason to not take any of this current situation seriously. We have become so caught up in our small little lives to the point we start making it difficult for ourselves out of boredom, women especially.
Keep calling it out, friend. People wont listen to us, but since we live in a non-racist "equal" culture now, where one's opinion is elevated if he is exotic enough or has the right skin colour, your opinions are unassailable.
You are absolutely right.
I dont take tests. I don't play "the game". I expect her to do a cautious pursuit just like me, even if it looks a liitle different for each gender. We both pursue with caution and fairness and meet each other in the middle.
I love how these types of videos don’t care about the wants, needs, expectations or boundaries of men.
I date following this method now: I have a first meeting, before there is a first date.
I am old fashioned (52), so I want to pay. But modern dating is so toxic where far too many women are spinning plates thanks to social media dating, that forking out money for girls that are already seeing multiple men - sometimes just for food dates, I dont want anything to do with it.
So I do the lets meet up on a beach or park for a walk and coffee. If there is no chemistry, we part, if I feel chemistry, I ask that woman out for a real date.
I love my own space and I enjoy being alone, so I literally don't care if I am harming my chances of successful dating... I am on the other hand, letting the wind carry away the chaff and leaving the prized grain behind.
I think you're doing the smart thing so by definition you are successfully dating. Success in dating is not measured by volume. Especially if the majority of women a man goes out with are toxic and entitled.
@@moleahy6880 Exactly
How old are your dates, on average?
@@purpose6113 30-40
@@paulprice1705 thnx
I’ve gotten the jealousy test many times when I was younger, and I’ve gotten different reactions. Some girls told me that being jealous was a turn-off, and others told me that being jealous was a sign that the guy really cared about them. It’s just about knowing how to walk that fine line I guess, lol.
>>It’s just about knowing how to walk that fine line I guess
Just tell the bitches that there's no reason for you to get jealous if she acts right.
If you are jelaous they can control you, if you are not they will be mad cuz they cant control you , but will say you dont care instead lol
“Knowing how the walk the fine line” is for circus performers
The first woman made some valid points on safety but it was a bit harsh on her last comment. I agree, Courtney, when you date someone their true self will come out sooner or later. A person can't keep pretending to be someone else for that long. Testing someone is childish and if you feel you can't trust that person don't date that person.
Great point about their true self coming out sooner or later!
🙌🏼
Why were they going home separately after drinking til 4am? That's my question.
This is textbook passive-aggressive behavior. Not being direct is almost always a red flag. Don't say "I'm cold" and expect the other party will infer your need something. Don't play by pretending to be noble and say, "No, you go and leave me here," with the expectation the other person will infer you really mean. Passive-aggressive is the psychological term. Learn it. Live it. Love it. "Say what you want." Yes! Even a baby crying without consciousness knows what it needs and expresses itself directly. Let's all clue-up.
Courtney is the 🐐 men and women should watch her. Even though I’m single she’s preparing me for when my time comes.
Don’t buy it, don’t play it, don’t let that affect you. If she tests you she already shows what kind of person she is.
Edit: on the flip side, you can notice she is testing you, pass them all by doing what she expects you to do and never going out with her again.
Reminds me of the scene in the movie “Bull Durham,” where the Kevin Costner character says to the Susan Sarandon character, “I don’t try out,” and, “I’m not interested in any woman who is interested in that boy,” referring to the Tim Robbins character. Don’t try out. Don’t go along with game playing. Walk away.
This. 100%!
While I fundamentally agree with your take on paying for the first date and how it can show that a guy is friendly, accommodating, and can provide, the flaw with it in practice is that guys constantly go through first dates that never lead anywhere, so these “just pay on the first date” bills rack up really quick. I’ve even known women who meet up with guys from dating apps just for a free lunch/dinner with no intention of pursuing anything with them at all. These experiences happen all the time with guys in the dating scene, and it’s frustrating because you walk in feeling like a 75/25 chance that no matter how well the date goes, nothing will come of it, and still feel obligated to pay for everything just to have that 25% chance of “passing” this type of test.
For this reason alone, I would maintain that the first date should be split evenly without preconceived judgement. Anything after that is fair game, as it at least indicates that both people enjoyed each other’s company enough to keep things going.
This is a great point
Absolutely spot on my friend.
You are a gem. I really enjoy your videos and I must say you embody all the qualities most men like myself look for in a female. Just genuinely being yourself in a respectful manner speaks volumes
I like thinking about the idea of receiving a Gift. Some people admire the wrapping of the gift, some cannot wait to see what is inside, and people like me aren’t worried about what is inside because it was the fact that someone thought of me enough to even buy me something. That to me is the REAL gift ❤
Basically the first girl cares more about the guy caring about her safety than herself about her own safety 😃👌🏾
this.
I was thinking the same thing.
Well she probably thinks that every last single mother can raise a boy into a proper man, although no woman can raise a boy into a man, so of course we always conclude at this reality that women are emotional beings and men are rational beings so she didn't think it through, so that puts the burden on him to think this through and make sure he is making a great impression because she will go off of her feelings
It’s fine when women assess men’s actions towards them but when the relationship becomes a game like that then it’s time to go
Preach
That’s quite the last name ya got there
Ugly faces are being laughed/mocked
Average faces are being tested
Cute faces are having already the action 😏 without being tested and other BS excuses women make for 90% of men.
lol Exactly. They make rules for regular guys and none for the guys they’re sexually attracted to.
I love this channel, it’s given and is going to continue to give me a great perspective on what girls that I’m attracted to want and desire. However I problem I have and many other guys have is it feels like we have to do and put up with so much more than girls do. We have to be smart, funny, confident, good looking, make them feel special, be protective and supportive, be masculine, make the first move, be strong, make more money, be tall, kind, being vulnerable, fashionable, react in a good way to some of the games they play, approach them first, pay for the first date, showing ambition and self improvement and more. I completely agree that these things are important and will help me get a woman I desire to commit myself to. But it feels like guys need to put up with much more, while committing more to them and showing them there all of the things I said above while not reciprocating nearly as much. While men in general require much less.I know I generalized and not all woman want all those things and will reciprocate in many of those things and hats off to them. But that’s the exception not the rule. For many men including myself it doesn’t feel worth it. Especially when many are constantly looking for more from you, which can be fine depending on the circumstances, but often comes across as controlling and jealous of what she sees other women have. There’s a reason almost all married men tell younger men not to get married or to stay single. I know few people will see this but I had to get this off my chest. I know you won’t see this Courtney but if you do what can a women provide that make all the effort above worth it. Thank you for the great work you do.
Just wanted to commend you for your believable honesty, sincerity, your objective fairness on both sides and above all your innate humbleness. I genuinely wish you and your husband many blessings.
👍
A woman being honest and straight forward -(NOW A DAYS) Good luck with that gentleman...
It would be nice if a lot of people would be grateful, even though they aren't raised that way because this country is so prosperous with debt that everybody is so numb that they don't understand what it's like to not have. I am glad I grew up so poor that I don't take anything for granted and I take care of all of my stuff and I have become so financially literate (I've been busting my hump since I was 8) that I can take care of my family, because there have been periods that my sister and her husband dealt with hardships as well as my mother has and it didn't affect my lifestyle stepping up.
"She's tryin to know you by knowing your past."
That's called a job interview. These same women get upset when you question them about THEIR past. Especially with a those with a high body count.
Fr they demand an entire day-by-day history of your entire life, but then you ask them the smallest thing about their past and they'll quickly change their tune to "everybody has a past!!" and get hyper defensive.
Whoa, talk about “reading my mail” on this one! Mostly the last half of stuff, but all of these I have either had happen, or a friend of mine went through it! Thanks for helping verify so many of my choices and decisions! Great job!
I met a woman at a yoga class and I told her that she is pretty & had a young body. Then she was telling me that she has a boyfriend. So I thought that she wasn't interested in me. So I was acting neutral & nice. I didn't try to ask her for a date. Then she started hitting on me & she walked me to my car. I was shocked but I talked nice to her. & told her that I would see her at the next Yoga class.
I really wish more women would be more like you Courtney Ryan, you dont play games as it should be. Nowadays the dating game is just a game of cat and mouse that's strenuous when it should be a fun journey of getting to know each other. Life isnt hard, human beings make it complicated all by themselves.
Life is a test.
Women who like to test men get dropped. At least by me. Jr High is over.
Exactly. Give me an F on that test and don't grade on a curve. Secure women don't play childish games. Good men will respond in kind.
I went on a date with a young woman about two months ago, and she could not stop complaining about the guy she went on ONE date with about a week or two prior to our date. The whole time she kept bringing it up about how she just didn't understand why he ghosted her, and even leading up to the date in text messages, she constantly mentioned the guy that ghosted her. Our date started at a coffee shop and ended at her place watching a movie, where she gave me a giant Valentine's Day card that was supposed to be for the ghost guy, but since she never heard from him again, she gave it to me instead. After all that, she ghosted me a few days later and I'm really grateful she did. Spared me the trouble of having to tell her it wasn't going to work out.
Moral of the story is, avoid talking about your ex's, and if you have to answer questions about ex's, be as brief and vague as possible, like this video says "it just didn't work out". You don't have to tell all the horrible and toxic things they did to you. Just say it's over and move on.
In some ways i think its better for you that she talks about it, in that she is signaling she is not emotionally available to you - but if she wanted opportunity for success with you then I agree.
She told you everything you need to know about her. chicks like that are crazy - and they will only be interested in a guy that they can't have - you stayed there are was the emotional tampon for her - she will be nice and say good things - but she has zero respect for you
Thank you do much! Just found this channel and amazing content, keep up the good work!
Once they start testing. Leave her alone
They always test tho. Is what it iis.
Catching a woman testing me is an instant end to a relationship. Can't have it being treated like a toy.
That is stupid. She is not treating you like a toy. She needs to know you can protect her, will be loyal, etc…. It is natural and both men and women test each other unconsciously. So you’re either single or oblivious to your partner’s tests.
@@AvaMonceau Or, I look at it as the manipulation that it is. I would never do that to a partner or to friends as it's a display of basic distrust. I already ended friendships because of these stupid games, for the better.
10:49 Courtney, I have a story a bit similar to what you said. I signed up for a dating app just to test the environment there. I decided to put up a few gym selfies, one in a tank top, one shirtless with boxing gloves and a portrait. So in the tank top pic I am smiling, showing my teeth. A woman on the app responded by saying _you look constipated in that picture._ I take it as a joke, even though it's rude, or a back-handed compliment at best, and go along by saying _I usual am (constipated) but I have been detoxing lately so it's no longer a problem. She then responds by referring to my boxing pic by saying _why do you have your shirt off, this isn't porn._ At that point, I am annoyed so I return her message with _I'm sorry, I will dress like a monk for now on._ Her, thinking she's effectively flirting sends a response saying, _I am sure you get lots of women dm'ing you, especially for the _*_constipation picture_*_ here's my number (and gives me her phone number)._ I basically ignored her and moved on. Joking is okay but do a better job and don't constantly make back-handed compliments to someone you're trying to get to know.
She's yanking your chain, clearly you don't understand women.
Or it was a guy using a fake account
One of my favorite things to do with a girl is if we’re having a disagreement on something mundane like food, music,etc., then to pretend to start walking away saying that’s a dealbreaker. You will get a chuckle or smirk from them 90% of the time
I like that. lol In those same situations where the outcome doesn't really matter, I enjoy giving them a look of horror, disbelief and disappointment, then saying, "You're a MONSTER." lol
I feel like unless something actually makes you ill or triggers trauma (music, food, movies, etc) that most of those things are way easy to let go and not ever take too seriously.
Brains, beauty, and a great delivery-thanks for another great video!
Thank you for your integrity. The woman you showed on the video clip is a game player... I wouldn't spend a moment with a person like her... .
Went on a date with a woman years ago. From the beginning she was more into her phone and who ever was in the other end of it. I could tell she was just there for a foodie call. Afterwards I paid the bill and said with sarcasm “thank you for a lovely evening you can go find Chad now” them got up and left. She was yelling wait you can’t leave me. She drove herself there. But I did. She wasted my time. I wasn’t gonna keep playing her game. She also wanted to go see a movie. Chad can pay for that. The server is a friend of mine. He told me when she yelled that I couldn’t just leave HER there he said “looks like he just did. Want a to go box for that dessert?” LOL
It might not have been Chad. It might have been Tyrone.
I really like your videos because you always approche the issues from a "female perspective "...and that's what exactly what we need to learn...thanks!!
A few weeks ago I started listening to Courtney's content and it's so interesting and appealing.
So thanks Courtney your videos make a lot of my work hours more enjoyable!!
Also I think there is a very easy way to talk to women. Always behaving friendly to people is good practice and then when that special someone appears for the first time you treat them the same plus genuine interest in classy sophisticated manner. Now I gotta test this new day lol
Very nice Vid!
I've watched dozens of your videos and all are useful, but this one is so useful and so enlightening!!
In my experience, men tend to be more direct in communication. If I guy says, "You don't have to stick around and wait," they usually mean it. I've known a handful of women who speak directly in communication, and I appreciate their candor. Most of the ones I've known are not candid. I'm not interested in playing mind games; I have neither the time nor the patience for it. I'm not interested in trying to translate the cuneiform of those mind games. The easier of the two communication styles to learn is the direct one. Speak honestly and openly with me, or leave me in peace.
My first spontaneous "Date" was after work for both of us. She already implied to be very independent, but also was realistic enough to go half and half. She said she had a bad experience when another guy lost it, for her offering to pay the whole meal. Where we just had an agreed system. I pay for coffee, she paid for lunch, i paid for the movie. Like a solid relationship, was already years in. And we both enjoyed being already in agreement when it came to the dates. My date and I also kept tabs, of "Did you make it home okay?" or "let me know when you get home safe" simple and to the point. It also gives you the protection feel & at least you both know you both care enough to want to know.
As far as banters go - it's all fun and games as long as it on guy's expense, flip it and say "you're not pretty enough to be my girlfriend" and see how most of them will be offended and show attitude. Well where's your light hearted flirting spirit now lol?
I was looking for a comment like this. I wouldn't necessarily word it the same but agree with the premise. I normally agree with Courtney but I think she's a little naive about that.
Of course tone matters too but in my experience women like picking at guys "playfully" but don't like it themselves. They are typically the ones who get offended by it. But I guess anybody who's insecure is going to no matter the gender.
@@heyblinken7750 yes, i meant playful manner as well. Well, many of them like standards and make them double ;) luckily it's a great sheet test for us as well.
Haha. Agreed.
The sad thing is, many of these "tests" are actually a kind of behavior that is attractive to more traditional guys, meaning that they want to protect and provide. In that sense, it can be more of an invitation than a test. (Based on my experience the cultural background is very important in that regard.)
You hit it right on nail when you said Action speaks louder than words Courtney. God wired you women differently to us. Love your videos. Keep up the fabulous work! ❤
Courtney your a Queen all I have to say is your King is a very lucky man. Thank you for standing up for men around the world 🙌🏽
If she thinks/or demands a guy to pay for her when you’re not a couple yet then I assume she doesn’t have a job or is entitled. You’re either a broke damsel in distress or strong and independent. Cherry picking is over. I don’t get used for free drinks or food anymore.
Had to jump in and comment. Got shoved down the Courtney Rabbit Hole by the YT algorithm, and I have been genuinely been hearing things that are a breath of fresh air from a woman’s perspective. I’ve been married 8 years now, and even a few of these things my wife does on a regular basis. And it’s INFURIATING. I don’t need to be constantly tested, I need you to be honest and open and normal.
Ladies, just because you play games and have deep thoughts about everything, doesn’t mean guys do, or that we even like to play them.
Just like how girls trash on every ex-boyfriend or every child's father and never once realizes that maybe her abusive and toxic behavior might have been the commonality in all of the severing of the relationships. I have heard some people say that if she talks bad about her ex-boyfriends, you are the next one to be talked bad about
My last wife knew I was married before her. When she asked me what happened, I told her to have a seat in the library (yes, I have a library), and I came back with a file. It was my first wife's divorce decree and all surrounding pictures and footage, as well as 12 micro-tapes, and told her if she wanted to know, this will tell you what you want to know. Any questions, I'll answer to the best of my ability.
I did the same thing for my kid's mother. I am that person who documents the demise of my relationships in case anyone wants to know later, it isn't "my word against hers and she's not here..."
After my final divorce, I stopped caring about that because I was raising my kid alone, and being a boyfriend or husband was not on my list of priorities. I was also 38 then, and now that my own kid is grown, out of the house, and married, nothing has changed.
These rules only apply for men.
Courtney, thank you for the time you take to make these videos and sharing with us clueless men so that we know how to correctly avoid these pitfalls. I have failed some of these in the past, but will for sure pass them in the future. Thank you!!!
I agree with the idea that a lot of these tests are subconscious so most of the time don't get phased by it. Generally I think it's probably better to err on the side of being considerate without doing anything over the top or desperate. What these tests are will obviously vary based on a number of factors (insecurities, trust issues) and there's not really a textbook approach to passing them so just generally have an understanding that she's going to pick up on your behavior and don't overthink it. If a relationship does come out of it, you probably will gain a better understanding of why she tested you in those ways.
On one hand I do kind of get why ladies would want to put out these kinds of tests. As mentioned in other videos on this channel, ladies are inundated with guys who are interested in them. So, I could see how having certain tests could help to winnow out what a lady might see as the good guys from the not so good guys. That being said I'm not a fan of how that's portrayed in the TikTok video because, from my perspective at least, it comes across as the TikToker sees guys as a commodity to be weighed and judged, rather than a person with real feelings. Creating an attitude of testing guys because they're just toys to play with and be discarded if they show any sort of blemish doesn't sit well and can lead many guys to saying "what's the point?"
So good on you Courtney for calling out the playing games just to play games childish mindset that's out there. I fully agree a guy should be a gentleman while out and about. But it leaves a bad taste in the mouth if a lady is trying to force gentlemanly behavior out of a guy which is the vibe I got from the TIk Tok video.
Who in their right mind would wanna longterm date a chick who's so 'diabolical' as Courtney put it? I literally could not care how good looking they are if they are like the chick in the TikTok.
Well some men do grow up with trauma from abusive parents, even a single mother can abuse her son, and they will always end up being pursued by an abusive narcissist and basically just accept it because they don't understand any other version of attention
@@LatimusChadimus Yeah that's a good point. If you haven't been able to process that abuse from your younger years and get past it properly, you will fall into people pleasing and accepting the toxic behaviour or disrespect from the girl becsuse 1. It feels familiar, and 2. You don't have enough self-esteem to feel like you deserve better and walk away from it, and maybe even 3. You have stronger emotional needs because of the instability in your childhood.
@@LatimusChadimus thank you for saying that. Alot of people wanna say this and that about why men simp. Lack fo self love, worth
I can't imagine staying home, watching a movie and ordering a pizza with someone like that. She has probably gone on a hundred dates-with a hundred different guys. Lol.
Testing is ok if you are truly trying to learn who they are not trying to play a game. It goes both ways though gentleman test to make sure she is kind, caring, down to earth etc. Just as much as we have to (rightly) prove we are worthy they also have to.
Courtney, I am a frequent watcher of your posts. I really like this one.
To me it's in your top five that you've ever done. Thank you!
I love the jazz-like music playing in the background.
I've had women pull that jealousy test on me before and it just makes them look weird. This girl that had been talking to me and touching me at a party told me to dance and since I hate dancing I said no. The next thing she does is walk up to the birthday boy and starts grinding on him lol. If I didn't want her then, why would I want her now? Unfortunately I think many women do not know how to be gracious.
My grandma called it "Gladly going down on the sinking ship"
I've been doing my owns tests for women recently. So far, none have passed.
Keep doing what you're doing. Don't settle.
The poor man test.
@@willrose5424 the poor woman test actually
@@willrose5424 wealthy men have extremely high standards and don’t date women with high body counts so your comment makes 0 sense
The thing I find completely annoying is when me and someone are having decent conversations and as soon as I ask her out she ghosts me even though I didn't even mentioned my ideas. Or she leads me on to something then says that she's not interested. It's so frustrating cause they way that I'm getting tested comes off as Uncleared, Indirect or that I have to guess everything or ask this or that the right way. I don't think woman should test men period. Only if it's playfully or if it has a healthy purpose.
This woman talks like a charm, is very attractive and defenetly looks like a nice and good person, too good to be true!
Thank You Courtney Ryan, you provide sensible, well thought out commentary and you try to see people's behavior from many perspectives. The quality of the videos that you make is so high that many other people are using excerpts from your videos.
In this particular video, I agree with all the points that you made, and I think you should have emphasized one of your final comments earlier on: women that deliberately put men through these tests are raising red flags. In general, men are expected to be more down-to-earth, straight forward, and honest, and if men ever put their dates through tests like these, I'm sure that in most cases their dates would end the prospective relationships immediately, and then call out those men publicly or tarnish their reputations. Think of the equivalent of your example of a woman sarcastically commenting on the weakness of a man that works out at the gym everyday: the equivalent would be a man sarcastically commenting on the fatness of a woman that puts much effort into controlling her weight. How would any woman react to that? It wouldn't matter if it was just a test or a joke, and in some ways the fact that it was a test or a joke might make the comment worse.