This is excellent advice! When a man doesn't respect or value me, i say to myself with a smile: "I love the sound of my heels walking away from something that does not serve me and someone who does not value and respect me." 👠👡
Why a woman lowers her standards is because our natural impulse as a feminine is to relate, and our unconscious programming on how to do that is to try to relate to the other by sacrificing ourselves and our needs through nice, acquiescent, agreeable, enabling behaviors. We'll go wherever the other goes, live how they wanna live, believe what they say, because as "good little girls", this is how we all "get along". We lower our standards because we believe that's how we relate when his standards are low. This is what we learn "playing nice" is. This is our f*king programming. "Nice". And it's just as deeply distorted, just as painful and destructive as the masculine's program of being an insensitive, self centered as*ole. Equally dysfunctional. Thank you for supporting everyone interested in getting a leg up.
Guys invalidate girls speaking up by saying they are needy, these guys are immature and lack the communication skills for a grown up relationship. I started walking away when my standards are ignored, next! I’m looking for my life partner, the one that will step up to meet my standards and put in the effort. Not entertaining anything less, my time and energy is of great value. Thanks for making this amazing content! 😊
Yes - I had a guy tell me once I was controlling - Umm no. I set him straight right away. Then a few months later I asked if even even still liked me and wanted to continue talking romantically - he sent me a video on overthinking things. Ended up dude is still hooked on his ex fiancée and was just wanted casual until he thinks he can win her back. I think this coach should do a video on how some men are still attached to ex’s and haven’t moved on (stuck and emotionally unavailable) and the signs of that. Took me 6 months to figure it out. Still continued being friends after but that really led no where (his request). What a time waste.
Was with my bf for 3 1/2 years and we have a child together. He suddenly felt “confused “ and wasn’t “sure” about me. I dropped him and said I didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t sure about me. Not looking back . I’m not anyone’s toy or backup because they think the grass is greener elsewhere…
Yes lack of clarity creates problems . And it’s even more problematic when the guy avoids any form of communication but continues to give misleading signs. That’s when it gets bloody so confusing because you don’t know whether you are misinterpreting him or yourself. Solution: Raise your standards and walk away after convincing yourself that you did put your best foot forward. But it’s just not there so carry on with your life ……without him
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This is soooo truuueee. I was in this kinda situation where I thought he was interested in me bc he was always staring and stuff like that and all other stuff happened. I tried to get him to be friends with me and be freely able to approach me but he’d always just position himself wherein I’d have to approach him first but at some point I stopped trying. I told myself that if he really wants to talk bc we’re classmates anyway, he’s going to come to me. So every time he gets close, if he doesn’t speak, I don’t either. Thennnnn I found out later on that he actually has a gf and I hate that he made me feel as if there was something and I hate that I put effort in him when he has a gf. I became someone who went after a guy with a girlfriend and that really hurts me and my pride bc I am NOT that type of person. And the worst thing is, he made me think if everything was all just in my head. 😭😭😭
Also, if he isn't consistent it really doesn't matter what he says...because even if sowmthi g happen happen he would be getting comfort from you..and it would be a compulsion to contact u 9 times out of ten
Exactly. I always first check myself if I'm triggered etc. If i feel I am reasonable I tell a man what I feel or wonder about. Depending on his response there will be an outcome but either way the torture and wondering stops.
My theory is that when there's no clarity, we think that if we lower our standards he'll like us more and spend more time with us, and clarity will come out.
I called it out and walked away..its been 2 weeks now of no communication..im working out, praying eating right, and crying sme (cz i love him) but i refuse to go back he will have to mke this ish right...not me this time
Sad but true that most men will take advantage of you if you allow it and will manipulate the situation to benefit themselves the most. Women have to set the standards and boundaries of how men access or treat you. Dont be passive with your life.
Sooo true he would be a damn fool to think that he should invest more when I have a lack of clarity and give him all these advantages!!! I learned that this year and last year! “If you waste your time then he will waste your time”
I have about 15 guys chasing me. Because I genuinely don't care for them. I hate sex which is probably a bonus. Who can be bothered with this hook up culture and fuckery. 😂
I hate sex too, lol. My player has been chasing me and I think its because I'm repulsed by him AND he knows it. I guess he wants to change my mind about him.
@@zmaf1543 this is very true. I treat him like trash and since he's used to having women drop their drawers for him at the drop of a dime, he doesnt know how to take me. Now he claims hes falling in love, lol. I dont even like him like that !
point to point . everything you said is giving me goosebumps . i had several failed relationships . i understood . i was the problem . being nice is too weak in today's world . we kissing their ass, we bowing in front of them , we agreeing and accepting their little little shit turns into big poop commode. holy shit .
Ah this me Lack of clarity, even though I asked for it, led to dropping standards. Kept giving benefit of doubt. Ended it at weekend tho. Feel relieved.
Thank you for making this video. It really resonates with my current situation. I broke up with him a couple days ago because I know I deserve clarity and communication and he couldnt even give me that. ✌️
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@@Swiss_Girl I blocked him on everything. I don’t want him to come back. It’s unlikely that he will ever change, I have decided to focus on myself and manifesting my own happiness and abundance.
My standards are so low - I have taken him back time and again. No more. I'm pressing the nuclear button. He has the assets too easily. Thanks to your videos, I'm finally going to give HIM clarity, and leave.
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Sometimes if they have an answer ready for you that’s something you have to keep in mind as well because guys that do that are guys that are manipulators.
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You and mindful attraction/toxic dating coach are the best on here for sure! Thanks for all you do!! If you're ever answering free questions in your video I have one - met with two different guys off dating sites and things were going great (around 3 dates in for both of them) and I noticed they update their dating profile - both of the most seemed really into me - interested. I had to end things after seeing that. I don't think if you were really interested in someone there would be any need to update a dating profile? My friends say people are still allowed to date after 2 or 3 dates but it feels disrespectful to me. thoughts?? :)
To clarify. .. it's okay if they're dating people I just think it's very blatant to update a profile that you know I will see... it just seems deliberate
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I think you are actually wrong. When a woman gets into a something-ship with a man, something in her hopes that this man will take the lead. It looks as if she wants him to take control of what is or can happen, but that he will take it or her to the right goal or place. So, woman lowers her standards? No: she is letting him visualize the road map and take her there.
But is like not way out They go for the path of less resistance so they will walk away from standard???? They will benefit from the resources we could be means they benefit the own ego which means not emotions and means manipulation Is that??????
I call out guy and he got mad at me and call me bicth and he pick big argument and than he play victim and then he called me crazy and than I blocked him 😊
Because when there's someone we really want, it's different from when someone serves themselves on a silver platter to us. Men have a harder time than women saying NO to the latter bc of their biology.
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Elliott!! Please please give advice on dating single dads! Some of these signs you talk about don’t necessarily apply to dating a single dad. They don’t have the time to invest as much as a non-dad. I am dating a single dad. I do have to take a backseat. Just recently there was an accident with one of his kids. He cancelled plans (obviously). And a side note, we rarely see each other. I’ve known him for almost two months and we’ve seen each other twice. Lots of talking in the phone and texting. Anyway, I was totally ok with it and made sure he knew. But now he’s acting different. It was immediately after the accident. The day before he was all in. I feel like maybe it put things into perspective for him. Like maybe he sees that he isn’t ready for a relationship. That is just speculation of course. But! I need advice and I’m sure there a lot of out there that need your advice on this subject! Help!
What ended up happening? I recall dating a single father , and he was “into” me but faced the issue of moving. We met on his vacation in the states. He planned to move to Florida when his son was a little older, hence why he was here. he’s from Germany and ironically hates the cold. He invested a lot into me and into a possibility. Flying here a few times, paying for dates, hotels, (thousands if you add it all up🤨🤔) etc. At one point he was so into it that he almost couldn’t make it to one of our meetings ( fly to me) that it threw him into a depression for a few days ( the thought of not being able to see me truly hit him). He said it crushed his soul that he did what ever he could to make sure he could make it. I mean it wasn’t easy to hear the full struggle. With all this said…all it took was one ☝️ talk with the ex assuring him he’d never see his son again. He called me in tears saying “ I don’t see it working.” I was like did you Honestly look into all your options? He practically screamed “ I’m not losing my son.” 🤷🏽♀️ he was so torn on what to do. I believe they are more honest than the average guy and it’s not easy to date… I decided to kind of hang in there for a little being that he was devastated about it and I as well. We had to face a break up that we both didn’t wish to have. In many ways we were good for each other. He did introduce me to his family and the friends he had here. They actually truly liked me and it made our bond that much stronger. It meant a lot to him that I’d get along with everyone. Eventually we let it go…. I did find my guy… these videos are fun to watch to see the many mistakes I made in the past. I’m definitely learning a few things… although they are more genuine they have more on their plate to make a decision.
@@jenj1221 we are still together. I am being patient. I was seeing him once every two weeks but we have added a day during the week. When his kids are not there. We are taking it very slow. We are not committed. I think it will take longer than the 2 months that Elliott recommends. I am not dating but i am open to it. We are not committed and I definitely not going to put all my effort into someone who does not want to commit. He texts me every day. He calls me on the nights when his kids aren’t there. I do not text unless he texts me. I do not call him. I’m leaving it all up to him. I am not chasing this guy. When we are together I can tell that he is absolutely smitten. BUT how do I know for sure yet? I hate to say it but I have closed off a piece of my heart to be safe. Until I know for sure. But down in the open part of my heart, he is all there. Damnit! Lol I will keep you posted!
Well, rest assured. Single dads are Douche bags just like regular guys. He was saying all the great stuff they say in the beginning. Two months of bliss. Best. Sex. Ever. Then the pulling away started. We were not in an official relationship by the way. So her went three days without texting. Then reappeared. He apologized for it and I told him that I needed him to answer a text back like a normal human being. He agreed. Then he did it again. And then he went out of town for work. Texted me and said he was out of state. Two more days go by. No text. So I went on tinder. To put some eggs in other baskets and I saw him on tinder. And! He had put a new picture on his profile. A.picture he had sent to me two weeks before that. He has texted and I am not responding. My value is huge and my assets are wayyyyy to expensive for him. As Maya Angelou said “When someone tells you who they are believe them!” He told me and I’m listening. I could not have been this strong without you Elliott. Thank you.
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when we pull away or initiate/activate no contact - can we do this without telling them as in silence? I have asked him to speak to me and talk our issues - he agrees but never takes the time or prioritizes me or something comes up. I am tired and now I don't wish to explain. its been 4 days of no contact - he is traveling but i just have had enough and want to pull back and not gift him my absence permanently
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“Nip it in the butt” bahaha love it when people say this it’s so cute. It’s bud, btw. So it doesn’t grow. If you nipped a rose in the bud, it won’t grow.
I walked away because he wouldn't ever commit. I've told him never to contact me again if he doesn't want a future with me. He cares about me a lot as a friend and didn't want me to walk away, but he also understood he can never give me what I want. Idk if he will chase me. He even told me he won't, he cant Edit: He was a friends with benefits but stopped it because I fell hard. He didn't want to lead me on and wanted a platonic relationship because he cared about me. He did tell me from the start he cannot commit to anyone so I'm guessing it's my fault
@@queenie8230 why not? Btw he would commit just not to you. If the right girl came along he would commit. It happened to me and it's truly heartbreaking. You dodged a bullet to be honest
@S S I tried explaining that to him. But he kept insisting he would rather be alone for the rest of his life than to walk away from someone. He was engaged twice and broke it off because out of nowhere, he just wanted to be alone. He said he didn't want to drag me along like he did with his exes and so why he chooses to be alone. I've mentioned that if we remain friends, I would be hurt if he ever ends up in a relationship. He laughed and said well to bad, you won't get hurt cause I don't want to be with anyone period. We no longer speak, tho. He was the most kindest soul and giving. He stayed up for days when I had a family emergency to keep me company and was always giving ALL his time, but he just couldn't give me what I truly wanted, which was a relationship. He called me his best friend...
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He will keep his emotions in check and just play the game as long as he is allowed....thats why Elliott is telling you to draw a time line of 15 dates so that he does not waste your time.
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The love of my life (I'm a man) told me to stop calling her bc her grandmother got cancer and is 86. We were very close... together a lot..She stopped talking to me 5 days ago but was reading my texts which varied a lot bc well... Obvious reasons.. I did not just do the play it cool and stay silent. My emotions varied so I told her all kinds of different things in text from sweet to romantic to furious... Today I flipped out on her and she blocked me everywhere..This woman wanted to have my kids and everything... What is her deal? Anyone know what this is about? We love each other so much.
You didn't respect her wishes at a stressful time for her, instead putting your own need for connection first. I'm not surprised she's silent. You need to leave her be, you're only driving her away with the texts.
@@ksref if she doesn't need me during a hard time she doesn't need me at all. When she comes crawling back, I will laugh at her and never talk to her again.
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Make him put in the work and pursue you. Don’t chase and don’t ever be too available. It’s hard when you feel anxious, but I promise it always pays off in the end.
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Respect everyone who were involved in this. Seriously the best peice that I've ever seen on TH-cam. 🙏🔥🔥🔥🙏HATS OFF TO YoU ALL! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS !!! 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Respect everyone who were involved in this. Seriously the best peice that I've ever seen on TH-cam. 🙏🔥🔥🔥🙏HATS OFF TO YoU ALL! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS !!! 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
All the dating coaches are like "men are shit, here's how you deal with it, and walk away walk away walk away" Whereas women are like - 😌😌 true lovee ...oh no 😔
NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU TWICE HE DOES NOT WANT YOU.
WALK AWAY WHEN HE BS YOU.
This is excellent advice! When a man doesn't respect or value me, i say to myself with a smile: "I love the sound of my heels walking away from something that does not serve me and someone who does not value and respect me." 👠👡
such a beautiful way of putting it!
He never can give excellent advice. Because he is not a very honest person.
Anyone can tell you what you want to hear.
Why a woman lowers her standards is because our natural impulse as a feminine is to relate, and our unconscious programming on how to do that is to try to relate to the other by sacrificing ourselves and our needs through nice, acquiescent, agreeable, enabling behaviors. We'll go wherever the other goes, live how they wanna live, believe what they say, because as "good little girls", this is how we all "get along". We lower our standards because we believe that's how we relate when his standards are low. This is what we learn "playing nice" is. This is our f*king programming. "Nice". And it's just as deeply distorted, just as painful and destructive as the masculine's program of being an insensitive, self centered as*ole. Equally dysfunctional.
Thank you for supporting everyone interested in getting a leg up.
Amen
The male best friend we all need
Guys invalidate girls speaking up by saying they are needy, these guys are immature and lack the communication skills for a grown up relationship.
I started walking away when my standards are ignored, next!
I’m looking for my life partner, the one that will step up to meet my standards and put in the effort.
Not entertaining anything less, my time and energy is of great value.
Thanks for making this amazing content! 😊
Yes - I had a guy tell me once I was controlling - Umm no. I set him straight right away. Then a few months later I asked if even even still liked me and wanted to continue talking romantically - he sent me a video on overthinking things. Ended up dude is still hooked on his ex fiancée and was just wanted casual until he thinks he can win her back. I think this coach should do a video on how some men are still attached to ex’s and haven’t moved on (stuck and emotionally unavailable) and the signs of that. Took me 6 months to figure it out. Still continued being friends after but that really led no where (his request). What a time waste.
Was with my bf for 3 1/2 years and we have a child together. He suddenly felt “confused “ and wasn’t “sure” about me. I dropped him and said I didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t sure about me. Not looking back . I’m not anyone’s toy or backup because they think the grass is greener elsewhere…
You still have to get child support for the baby.
These men are so confused these days and don’t know what they want smh. More emotional and indecisive than women.
@@ChristinaOstil115 she is the one who dropped him though, she isn't entitled to it
I agree with you. You made the best choice!
@@FlordosAcores thank you so much 😊
I don’t want to “get” a man to do anything. If it’s over I don’t want it back.
Yes lack of clarity creates problems . And it’s even more problematic when the guy avoids any form of communication but continues to give misleading signs. That’s when it gets bloody so confusing
because you don’t know whether you are misinterpreting him or yourself.
Solution: Raise your standards and walk away after convincing yourself that you did put your best foot forward. But it’s just not there so carry on with your life ……without him
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Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
This is soooo truuueee. I was in this kinda situation where I thought he was interested in me bc he was always staring and stuff like that and all other stuff happened. I tried to get him to be friends with me and be freely able to approach me but he’d always just position himself wherein I’d have to approach him first but at some point I stopped trying. I told myself that if he really wants to talk bc we’re classmates anyway, he’s going to come to me. So every time he gets close, if he doesn’t speak, I don’t either. Thennnnn I found out later on that he actually has a gf and I hate that he made me feel as if there was something and I hate that I put effort in him when he has a gf. I became someone who went after a guy with a girlfriend and that really hurts me and my pride bc I am NOT that type of person. And the worst thing is, he made me think if everything was all just in my head. 😭😭😭
Also, if he isn't consistent it really doesn't matter what he says...because even if sowmthi g happen happen he would be getting comfort from you..and it would be a compulsion to contact u 9 times out of ten
Exactly. I always first check myself if I'm triggered etc. If i feel I am reasonable I tell a man what I feel or wonder about.
Depending on his response there will be an outcome but either way the torture and wondering stops.
My theory is that when there's no clarity, we think that if we lower our standards he'll like us more and spend more time with us, and clarity will come out.
Sometimes we lower our standarts to tell us a stupid story about how the other person is still worth it etc etc. -.-
So true, I've recently been in this situation. I almost get desperate for clarity or even closure to calm the overthinking 🤦🏽
I think you’re one of the most straight talking relationship coaches out there!
I called it out and walked away..its been 2 weeks now of no communication..im working out, praying eating right, and crying sme (cz i love him) but i refuse to go back he will have to mke this ish right...not me this time
Please keep going, and keep your head held high.
Can you give us a update?
Oh. My. Lord. If only I had come across your stuff months ago. 🤦♀ Would have saved me so much time and heartache.
Sad but true that most men will take advantage of you if you allow it and will manipulate the situation to benefit themselves the most. Women have to set the standards and boundaries of how men access or treat you. Dont be passive with your life.
Sooo true he would be a damn fool to think that he should invest more when I have a lack of clarity and give him all these advantages!!! I learned that this year and last year! “If you waste your time then he will waste your time”
I have this vid repeat!!!!
Love it!!!
Preach Elliott!!!
Fooled me ones shame on you
Fooled me twice shame on me
❤ love from the Netherlands
Absolutely Agee! Never let anyone waste your time!
Don’t meaaannnn shiiiiiiiitttt 😅😂 love you Elliot!!! You’re so protective of us lol 🫂
Love your honesty! straight up, no bullshit 🙌
Great information! Thank you so much for your great wisdom :)
As always!! Very well said!!!!!👍❤️👏👏👏👏
My favorite dating coach ❤️ loved this video! Elliott will tell you how it is 🙂
I have about 15 guys chasing me. Because I genuinely don't care for them. I hate sex which is probably a bonus. Who can be bothered with this hook up culture and fuckery. 😂
I hate sex too, lol. My player has been chasing me and I think its because I'm repulsed by him AND he knows it. I guess he wants to change my mind about him.
@@Khadijah_respectfully it's funny that when you're repulsed by them they feel like they need to prove themselves 😂😂😂
@@zmaf1543 this is very true. I treat him like trash and since he's used to having women drop their drawers for him at the drop of a dime, he doesnt know how to take me. Now he claims hes falling in love, lol. I dont even like him like that !
Fuckery. You get points just for using the word.💜
Humans are like that, they care about the one that doesn’t care for them at all
Wow needed this 🙌🏻
I totally agree with the communication part 😂 Many men have this problem.
I like your sincerity! Thank you.
He’s not doing this or not doing that because HE IS NOT INTERESTED. You are not the one. Drop the Mic.
It’s more because the women is respecting herself and he isn’t respecting her, he probably was interested
point to point . everything you said is giving me goosebumps . i had several failed relationships . i understood . i was the problem . being nice is too weak in today's world . we kissing their ass, we bowing in front of them , we agreeing and accepting their little little shit turns into big poop commode. holy shit .
Ah this me
Lack of clarity, even though I asked for it, led to dropping standards.
Kept giving benefit of doubt.
Ended it at weekend tho.
Feel relieved.
I love how straight up he is
Elliot honestly some guys are just immature and That's what annoys us
We want mature men who are honest nd upfront that saves us all time and energy
Love how you are straight to the point .. I’m learning how to walk away sooner .. and not be patient anymore with the BS
Thank you for making this video. It really resonates with my current situation. I broke up with him a couple days ago because I know I deserve clarity and communication and he couldnt even give me that. ✌️
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did he come back?
@@Swiss_Girl I blocked him on everything. I don’t want him to come back. It’s unlikely that he will ever change, I have decided to focus on myself and manifesting my own happiness and abundance.
Girl I’m literally going through this right now. Day 5 no contact x hope you stayed strong 💪
Perfectly said
Thank you so much this advice actually worked he texted me and I also prayed 😅🙏🏻
What I’m gonna do❤️🙏
My standards are so low - I have taken him back time and again. No more. I'm pressing the nuclear button. He has the assets too easily. Thanks to your videos, I'm finally going to give HIM clarity, and leave.
Thank you Elliot, you always give out the greatest advice ☺️❤️
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Thank you 😊
I think this is my favourite video so far.
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Thankyou I needed this advice and I think your great x
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Sometimes if they have an answer ready for you that’s something you have to keep in mind as well because guys that do that are guys that are manipulators.
Brilliant as always, Elliot !
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you are the best
Finally someone tells it right
Thank you!❤️❤️❤️
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You and mindful attraction/toxic dating coach are the best on here for sure! Thanks for all you do!! If you're ever answering free questions in your video I have one - met with two different guys off dating sites and things were going great (around 3 dates in for both of them) and I noticed they update their dating profile - both of the most seemed really into me - interested. I had to end things after seeing that. I don't think if you were really interested in someone there would be any need to update a dating profile? My friends say people are still allowed to date after 2 or 3 dates but it feels disrespectful to me. thoughts?? :)
To clarify. .. it's okay if they're dating people I just think it's very blatant to update a profile that you know I will see... it just seems deliberate
Yes, those are my favorite 2 as well..they both tell it like it is and both are so funny 🤣
If nothing is official yet, I'd say its okay to date others.
Great advice
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what a great video
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Truth bomb💪🏽💪🏽❤️❤️
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i needed to hear this because i need clarity Elliot
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I think you are actually wrong. When a woman gets into a something-ship with a man, something in her hopes that this man will take the lead. It looks as if she wants him to take control of what is or can happen, but that he will take it or her to the right goal or place. So, woman lowers her standards? No: she is letting him visualize the road map and take her there.
It's like that game where you just try to reject the other person first right?
Was the title ever addressed in the video?
True ❤
I tried to purchase the e book twice but have not received it. I can’t find where to get help
AMEN!!!!!!
But is like not way out
They go for the path of less resistance so they will walk away from standard????
They will benefit from the resources we could be means they benefit the own ego which means not emotions and means manipulation
Is that??????
I call out guy and he got mad at me and call me bicth and he pick big argument and than he play victim and then he called me crazy and than I blocked him 😊
I'll bet Elliot gets so tired of hearing the same stories when he's consulting women.
Because men use the same abusive tactics
But if they always go to the path of least resistance then why would they even bother with anyone who takes effort to get.
High value woman
Because when there's someone we really want, it's different from when someone serves themselves on a silver platter to us. Men have a harder time than women saying NO to the latter bc of their biology.
Exactly
Accurate accurate accurate
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Elliott!! Please please give advice on dating single dads! Some of these signs you talk about don’t necessarily apply to dating a single dad. They don’t have the time to invest as much as a non-dad. I am dating a single dad. I do have to take a backseat. Just recently there was an accident with one of his kids. He cancelled plans (obviously). And a side note, we rarely see each other. I’ve known him for almost two months and we’ve seen each other twice. Lots of talking in the phone and texting. Anyway, I was totally ok with it and made sure he knew. But now he’s acting different. It was immediately after the accident. The day before he was all in. I feel like maybe it put things into perspective for him. Like maybe he sees that he isn’t ready for a relationship. That is just speculation of course. But! I need advice and I’m sure there a lot of out there that need your advice on this subject! Help!
What ended up happening? I recall dating a single father , and he was “into” me but faced the issue of moving. We met on his vacation in the states. He planned to move to Florida when his son was a little older, hence why he was here. he’s from Germany and ironically hates the cold. He invested a lot into me and into a possibility. Flying here a few times, paying for dates, hotels, (thousands if you add it all up🤨🤔) etc. At one point he was so into it that he almost couldn’t make it to one of our meetings ( fly to me) that it threw him into a depression for a few days ( the thought of not being able to see me truly hit him). He said it crushed his soul that he did what ever he could to make sure he could make it. I mean it wasn’t easy to hear the full struggle. With all this said…all it took was one ☝️ talk with the ex assuring him he’d never see his son again. He called me in tears saying “ I don’t see it working.” I was like did you Honestly look into all your options? He practically screamed “ I’m not losing my son.” 🤷🏽♀️ he was so torn on what to do. I believe they are more honest than the average guy and it’s not easy to date… I decided to kind of hang in there for a little being that he was devastated about it and I as well. We had to face a break up that we both didn’t wish to have. In many ways we were good for each other. He did introduce me to his family and the friends he had here. They actually truly liked me and it made our bond that much stronger. It meant a lot to him that I’d get along with everyone. Eventually we let it go…. I did find my guy… these videos are fun to watch to see the many mistakes I made in the past. I’m definitely learning a few things… although they are more genuine they have more on their plate to make a decision.
@@jenj1221 we are still together. I am being patient. I was seeing him once every two weeks but we have added a day during the week. When his kids are not there. We are taking it very slow. We are not committed. I think it will take longer than the 2 months that Elliott recommends. I am not dating but i am open to it. We are not committed and I definitely not going to put all my effort into someone who does not want to commit. He texts me every day. He calls me on the nights when his kids aren’t there. I do not text unless he texts me. I do not call him. I’m leaving it all up to him. I am not chasing this guy. When we are together I can tell that he is absolutely smitten. BUT how do I know for sure yet? I hate to say it but I have closed off a piece of my heart to be safe. Until I know for sure. But down in the open part of my heart, he is all there. Damnit! Lol I will keep you posted!
Well, rest assured. Single dads are Douche bags just like regular guys. He was saying all the great stuff they say in the beginning. Two months of bliss. Best. Sex. Ever. Then the pulling away started. We were not in an official relationship by the way. So her went three days without texting. Then reappeared. He apologized for it and I told him that I needed him to answer a text back like a normal human being. He agreed. Then he did it again. And then he went out of town for work. Texted me and said he was out of state. Two more days go by. No text. So I went on tinder. To put some eggs in other baskets and I saw him on tinder. And! He had put a new picture on his profile. A.picture he had sent to me two weeks before that. He has texted and I am not responding. My value is huge and my assets are wayyyyy to expensive for him. As Maya Angelou said “When someone tells you who they are believe them!” He told me and I’m listening. I could not have been this strong without you Elliott. Thank you.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!!!!
when we pull away or initiate/activate no contact - can we do this without telling them as in silence? I have asked him to speak to me and talk our issues - he agrees but never takes the time or prioritizes me or something comes up. I am tired and now I don't wish to explain. its been 4 days of no contact - he is traveling but i just have had enough and want to pull back and not gift him my absence permanently
He sounds like a douche bag if he’s stringing you sling. Cut him loose!
How did it go?
4:11 soooo true, glad I walked ...
6:36 Elliot, the saying es Nip it in the bud. Not butt. 😂 let alone ass.
Good advice as always.
Tough loveeeee !! I love you! Lmfaoo let’s be friends 😂❤
Well. This was a fun pill to swallow.
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“Nip it in the butt” bahaha love it when people say this it’s so cute. It’s bud, btw. So it doesn’t grow. If you nipped a rose in the bud, it won’t grow.
Elliot , Can you do a video about cheating and why men do it?
Because he doesn’t respect you.
Men do it because they can. That’s about it. There is no rhyme or reason.
@@mstenacious274 great answer thanks
@@mstenacious274 beautifully said
I walked away because he wouldn't ever commit. I've told him never to contact me again if he doesn't want a future with me. He cares about me a lot as a friend and didn't want me to walk away, but he also understood he can never give me what I want. Idk if he will chase me. He even told me he won't, he cant
Edit: He was a friends with benefits but stopped it because I fell hard. He didn't want to lead me on and wanted a platonic relationship because he cared about me. He did tell me from the start he cannot commit to anyone so I'm guessing it's my fault
any updates? 😭
@@scalpfarmer8289 we no longer speak. He wants nothing to do with me.
We're on the same boat... thank you for sharing this...
@@queenie8230 why not? Btw he would commit just not to you. If the right girl came along he would commit. It happened to me and it's truly heartbreaking. You dodged a bullet to be honest
@S S I tried explaining that to him. But he kept insisting he would rather be alone for the rest of his life than to walk away from someone. He was engaged twice and broke it off because out of nowhere, he just wanted to be alone. He said he didn't want to drag me along like he did with his exes and so why he chooses to be alone. I've mentioned that if we remain friends, I would be hurt if he ever ends up in a relationship. He laughed and said well to bad, you won't get hurt cause I don't want to be with anyone period. We no longer speak, tho. He was the most kindest soul and giving. He stayed up for days when I had a family emergency to keep me company and was always giving ALL his time, but he just couldn't give me what I truly wanted, which was a relationship. He called me his best friend...
Is it really about the number of dates? Shouldnt be about if we fell in love or not? Whats the point to force things?
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He will keep his emotions in check and just play the game as long as he is allowed....thats why Elliott is telling you to draw a time line of 15 dates so that he does not waste your time.
Me problems vs we problems. I feel like so many ladies don’t understand this
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Yea
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🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏 funny but true🤷🏽♀️
Lol. “Your communication sucks!” 😂
A lack of standards... A lack of clarity... "You gotta call that sh** out!"
but he is the one who wanna take me out
im the one who dont
i dont like fancy places lol
How to get clarity?
A lot of alone time, soul searching...self awareness. Self love.
Time to fix my 👸 . 💯🎯‼️
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The love of my life (I'm a man) told me to stop calling her bc her grandmother got cancer and is 86. We were very close... together a lot..She stopped talking to me 5 days ago but was reading my texts which varied a lot bc well... Obvious reasons.. I did not just do the play it cool and stay silent. My emotions varied so I told her all kinds of different things in text from sweet to romantic to furious...
Today I flipped out on her and she blocked me everywhere..This woman wanted to have my kids and everything... What is her deal?
Anyone know what this is about? We love each other so much.
You didn't respect her wishes at a stressful time for her, instead putting your own need for connection first. I'm not surprised she's silent. You need to leave her be, you're only driving her away with the texts.
@@ksref if she doesn't need me during a hard time she doesn't need me at all. When she comes crawling back, I will laugh at her and never talk to her again.
@@ksref you don't want to be needed? You don't want your absence to be felt?
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❤
Wow you really dragged me
If you’re wasting your time he’s going to waste your time factsssssss
How can I raise my value after being a lil bit intimate? I feel like he thinks he got me 100% and he’s feeling too comfortable..
Make him put in the work and pursue you. Don’t chase and don’t ever be too available. It’s hard when you feel anxious, but I promise it always pays off in the end.
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A little bit intimate?
I end up arguing with the guy and asked him why don't he apologize to his grandkids about his bad behavior as a man.
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How do you walk away in an elegant way.
Respect everyone who were involved in this. Seriously the best peice that I've ever seen on TH-cam. 🙏🔥🔥🔥🙏HATS OFF TO YoU ALL! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS !!! 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Respect everyone who were involved in this. Seriously the best peice that I've ever seen on TH-cam. 🙏🔥🔥🔥🙏HATS OFF TO YoU ALL! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS !!! 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🙏❤🤝🙏❤
🔥❤🤝🔥❤
🙏❤🤝❤🙏
🔥🙏🔥
Second
i enjoy being home with him
I’ve been practicing in the mirror how to say I’m going to go
1st
All the dating coaches are like "men are shit, here's how you deal with it, and walk away walk away walk away"
Whereas women are like - 😌😌 true lovee ...oh no 😔