I love the fact that you said "If you don't have Jesus as your Lord, How can you properly love me?" That makes the idea of being equally yolked alot clearer.
chicksseree what are these mixed feelings to do with? Pray to God and ask for clarity and ask him to do what he wills in the situation because you want to follow God's will for your life if he's struggling with the concept of God invite him to church and tell him to speak to the Pastor there if you don't think you can give him sufficient answers to his questions
I just read and shared your blog on FB, which lead me here and now I'm a subscriber. You speak the truth. When I turned 30 I made a decision that I wanted a husband that God wanted for me so I made my list, which also included "Deal-Breakers. Guess what? I've been happily married for almost 14 years. I will definitely share your blog and videos with my single friends!
That's amazng congrats on 14 years of marriage. I'm single & as I am reaching 30 I sometimes think is it ever gonna happen for me?! I look at how almost all of my friends are married or mothers. I kinda felt like I'm running out of time. Thank you for posting this comment. It encourages me to keep waiting on God.
Hang in there! I definitely understand how you're feeling. I felt the same way when I was 30. It's hard to be encouraged when your friends are getting married and having children and you are still single, but being patient and waiting on the right person is so worth it. I didn't get married until 34. Also, your mate could be right there under your nose. I remember a very close friend of mine told me that I would probably end up marrying someone that I already knew and I just couldn't see it, but I ended marrying someone that I attended church with that I had know since I was 13. So keep your options open.
Hi Heather, God lead me to finding your blog last night a day after I asked Him for help. I am soooooooooo grateful that you are allowing God to use you. Please don't stop making videos, if anything they're helping this 20 year old girl from London. God Bless you
Giiiiirl!!! You just don't know how much this confirms my heart!!! Ppl don't understand that I have faith knowing that MY God shall supply all my needs and bless me with the desires of my heart in the process, I just have to be patient. And that's where we mess up, we get antsy "waiting" so we make thing happen on our own and began settling. Knowing good and well this ain't what we want but we're so "tired" of waiting. My daddy always says we don't get up off of the operating table in the middle of surgery do we? So why do we want to do that when God is in the middle of something. Allow him to finish his work in you before you go bringing your tore up past in somebody else's life. Whoooo!!! I'm getting fired up let me stop lol!! But thank you Heather for blessing me/us with that word!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
This video is so encouraging because me and the man Im courting with have made a promise not to kiss until our wedding day. I thank God so much for this gift. Since being together and experiencing what a Godly relationship is about we have learned so much about self control, discipline, true love, and honoring God with our bodies and behavior. We are not perfect but we desire to give our relationship all we have to give to it and learn as we grow.
Amen I love this! A dealbreaker for me is a guy that smokes. I could never date a smoker. I had a guy come to me once, and because he smelled like cigarettes, he did not get the number! It's the little things. Amazing story! you are inspiring!
Wow! Go ahead, woman of God! I bless the Lord for your obedience in sharing the wisdom He has bestowed upon you in this area. The Lord always reminds me to seek first His kingdom and righteousness and all else will fall into place. Many blessings to you and yours..
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your ministry to single Christian women is soooo needed! We don't have any guidance in our churches for single people - so appreciative! Bless ya mountains ✨🙏🏼✨
This video is so good and so important...it really puts a lot of things in perspective. I hate it when people say that you shouldn't expect anything in a future husband....YES, there are some things you should expect! Not like a list of "must be blond, must like such-and-such a movie" or whatever, but really important things, like Godliness and love. You can't just settle, there ARE requirements for a Godly husband, just like there are requirements for a Godly wife. It took me so so long to realize this, that no, you don't have to just be a passive wallflower and take whoever comes a long, you need to have Godly standards about your future spouse. Thank you so much for making this. I've gotten mixed up with some stupid guys just because I settled for someone who would even remotely begin to care about me. This is just so important, thank you so much.
Heather thank you so much.God is continually using u to minister to me.when u said 'if he's another religion , muslim'..i froze..coz u spoke directly to me.been tryx to let my muslim boyfriend go for a while now.held on to the hope that he wld accept Jesus but its nt happening.thank you
Heather! God used you to change so many of young women, and women's lives in general! Thanks for letting him use you! To God be the glory! This video speaks VOLUMES!
Heather, I looooovvvveeee your videos and what God is doing in you, as well as your husband's life. The man that I'm in courtship with now is seriously considering marriage sometime in the next year or two and I am beyond elated because I know he's a man who actively seeks, obeys, and loves God and that he's definitely the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I was so nervous because some people kept telling me that I needed to wait until I was out of college and save a certain amount before I make that decision, but I know that God is telling us that it's time and we've been in his face like crazy hearing what he wants us to do and planning accordingly. Your video gives me so much reassurance that marriage is so much more than us, but about glorifying and honoring him through our marriage.
I truly hate to say this, but this is so dead on. I fell away from my relationship with the Lord when I was in my early 20's and got pregnant. He proposed and I married my then would-be baby daddy, because I wanted a family. I didn't grow up with my biological father and didn't want that for my son. Although he hadn't had the teaching on Godly marriages and family I grew up with, I figured it would be okay because he got saved the month before we got married, and who doesn't want to know God, right? Boy was I wrong. He got saved, and backed off some things, but that was it. No prayer life, limited Word, no interest in connecting to the church. To say that I hated my married life for many years is an understatement. Divorce was not an option because I wasn't being physically abused, nor was my husband physically cheating on me. The self-discipline he lacked with me, he also lacked after we got married. He wasn't a leader, had no direction, depended on me to lead the family spiritually, financially, you name it. He didn't know who he was in Christ, and didn't seem to want to know. He didn't want me active in our church. My relationship with God became a point of contention between us, and I resented him. I knew if I left, it wouldn't please God. I had to pray through the years. Although my husband is now walking with God, it's still a far cry than what would have been acceptable to me before I fell away from my relationship with God. The Lord has given me true love for my husband and shown me to respect him even when he was far from respectable. I wish I could say after almost 15 years that he's done a complete turnaround, but that simply isn't true yet. It's still very much a work in progress, but God is faithful to finish what He's begun. Also, choosing less than God's best for me at the time also changed me. I didn't recognize myself. I became mean and angry. Ways I said I'd never treat my husband or talk to my husband "when I get married"...I went beyond that. I became the wife the Word complains about. I do truly love my husband now. Not only in word, but in deed. God is merciful and so gracious. It took a lot of humility and prayer to bring change to our home. Yes, because I was the more mature Believer, I had the main responsibility to allow myself to be changed so God's power and love could change our home. And lots of times it was painful. Our marriage is a lot better now, but I can honestly say that I, he, and our children have paid dearly for a selfish, desperate, and life-changing decision I made years ago. It's always better God's way.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm currently dating someone who sounds exactly like your husband before you got married. I have a lot of doubt that I can't seem to shake. What do you suggest? Do I continue to date him and give him a chance or?
ItIsWhatItIsLDN My honest reply...Don't do it. We women don't feel the magnitude of being unequally yoked until we are in the marriage. If he isn't leading you closer to Christ through his own relationship with God, end the relationship. I know that's harsh advice, but there is so much heartache awaiting you if you continue in a relationship with a man who has his own agenda. No man is perfect, but for a Christian woman, a lack of a true walk with Christ should definitely be a deal breaker. Although we are in this world, we are not of it. That doubt you sense, I'm sure, is the Holy Spirit trying to help you avoid a life-changing bad decision. Trust God for your husband. I know it's cliche, but until you meet your soon-to-be, make Christ and His agenda priority. Your hubby will come around, but in the meantime be about our Father's business.
msbrig1 thank you soo much for your advice. Out of my own stubbornness I gave the guy a chance again but my heart wasn't at peace with my decision so I asked him some honest questions about his relationship with God and it was very wishy-washy so I've broken it off for good this time. At least I know that the feelings I had were just missing that companionship and not that he was who God wanted for me. I will wait on God from now on. Thank you for sharing your story, it helped a lot. God bless you
so happy that you're making videos, you are such an inspiration and the person who God used to lead me to Him, love your books, I look forward to seeing Cornelius' appearance his message is always convicting, sending love from the UK :)
Heather, Thank you so much. These videos are needed so much. God speaking through you to encourage or if its just answering a question. God uses you. I know you know that, that's why you're posting and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me 'Vlogging' Tell your husband I appreciate so much the video he made on Deal Breakers as well. Ya'll are absolutely beautiful!
I just want to publicly thank God for putting it on your heart and schedule to record and share this video. A true blessing to my soul. Continue to be a blessing. Thank you for listening to God.
I read a couple of your blogs in the last few months and I now discovered your youtube channel (as well as your husbands) and I have to say both of you ministered a great word to me. I'm so encouraged right now, and it has truly agreed with my spirit with everything that you have said in this video. I pray God continue to bless you and your family, and your ministry as well.
Ms. Heather, You are an inspiration and you've truly blessed me with your words at such a perfect time. It is so difficult being a college student and trying to live the life God is calling you to. I am in the process of finding myself and really understanding my purpose. For that reason, I thank God for pushing me to come across your channel and blog and Instagram. I love what you stand for and all that you have accomplished is exactly what I feel my spirit is opening my eyes to, the potential that I have and have been running from. I don't know if you will ever read this but I feel the need to just let you know. Sis, I love you and I hear you. I would love to become a part of your pinky promise foundation, receive your guidance as a mentor, or help out in any way necessary/possible. I thank you again for your kind heart and words and pray God will continuously pour down blessings upon you and your family.
😢😢😢😢 THANK YOU for this!!!!! I'm newly divorced, after 21 years with the same man and two children. I know my identity is a beloved daughter of Abba Father! This video has been so affirming of where I am right now! Thank you for the tips &advice! it's incredible to think there might be men out there, that would wait until a day of marriage, for even kissing. Very encouraging! before my husband left, I had been praying for my marriage to be christ-centered. God was apparently listening. my husband is/ was not Christ-centered, so I believe God is trying to give me the desires of my heart. Working on myself and my children right now. Drawing even nearer to Christ and I know he will bring the right person at the right time. Thank you for the encouragement, I think I will be listening to this quite often. Blessings Sister
This video was absolutely phenomenal. It really touched me and got me to really understand some things. I follow your blog, but this was just more in depth and personal. Thank you so much for sharing and allowing God to use you. You don't understand how extremely perfect and right on time this video was for me. Thank you, sister.
I love this.....I am a single women dating and I have always had deal breakers, however like most we break them. I am at a point in my life where I no longer want to break them and I am praying to my GOD for my hearts desires of my husband. I no longer want to date but I am ready to meet my husband. I know that God will determine the time, so right now I am working on me to ensure that I am the person I wish to meet. You are very inspirational and I love your posting on IG and your videos. I Thank God for Allowing you to share your stories.
Love this! so inspiring getting back to the truth. I'm not going to kiss my future wife till we get married and cultivate her to what God designed her to be.. focus on my relationship with God first.. not going to settle till I have God's best not mine.. 😊
This is A LOT of confirmation!even the Kenya part lol thank you for your obedience in recording this, just answered a WHOLE SLEW of questions I've been asking the Lord since December!!!!
Oh my gosh this is exactly what I need. It's as if you know everything going on in my mind. God bless you Heather and continue to use you for his glory! I absolutely love this!!
Heather..You are so inspiring ! Thank you so much for your obedience to God! These deal breakers are good . I came out of a 4 yr relationship because something in my spirit new something wasn’t right. Your videos have spoke so much to me in this season of being single again. Much 💕 love !
Amen! I'm 24 years old and I've been believing God for my husband this year. However, I was not content with being single right now. After watching this it reinforces that I need to actually BE my list. I made a list of 160 qualities and Characteristics I wanted in my husband. I have to remember not to be in such a rush but have the mindset that God I will wait forever if I have to. I need someone strong in their faith who will hold me accountable in things like not kissing until the wedding day which is something I'm battling & I've only kissed one person when I was 19. Thanks for posting Heather :)
God bless you. This was the video I needed to see and listen to. I'm going through marital problems and the words that you said gave me some healing and vision were to lead my life towards thank you and God bless you.
This was excellent! I just recently called off my engagement because of many things i had seen all along that werent right but continued in the relationship anyway. I thank God for the peace that I know possess so that He can heal my heart and use me to my fullest capacity in ministry. I thank you so much because a few days after the break off I was praying and you had posted the link to your blog about just breaking up and it really ministered to me and gave me good biblical scriptures to read and stand on concerning my decision..
I remember the first time I tried watching this video slightly over a year ago, not sure I finished it cos I was hurt and angry (I think I just had a break up or I was on the verge of breaking up)....was still trying to convince myself that Breaking up was wrong....still trying to find reasons why staying in the relationship was right but now I can freely watch it. Hearing the truth sometimes is hard but always brings freedom :) Cheers Pastor Mrs Lindsey for this!
Thanks for another great message! It’s true; some people think that after marriage the person will automatically change and be perfect, but change takes time. I also believe God really does care about you being with the right person, for me God has said no so many times and it’s hard but I know as my Heavenly Father He is only doing what’s best.
Thank you so much for this video!! I was really moved by it and I feel that God made me watch this video for a reason. Thank you for allowing God to use you for His glory and may His goodness, love, favor and grace continue to flow in your life and in the life of your family. You are forever blessed! xoxo
AMEN! Thanks for sharing, this blessed me and helping me to understand everyone is not perfect, it takes PRAYER and is a PROCESS! Continue to let HIM use you!
I enjoyed this! Can you do a blog or vlog on obstacles/conflict that come up during courtship?? How did you overcome arguments/disagreements? The enemy attacks especially when you're honoring God in your relationship. I'm super happy in my courtship and I have learned so much about myself so I wanted to know more about how you dealt with conflict in your courtship
Wow, that was a great video! Something you said really spoke to me. The part where you mentioned you were in Walgreens and wanted to buy some makeup and Cornelius said no that's not the reason we came in here. I'm always buying silly little things and anytime my boyfriend comments on it I get defensive about it because I'm thinking, "hey, you're not my husband yet I'll do what I want" but man am I convicted! That is not a good attitude. God is definitely breaking that off of me! Thank you for this video and your obedience to God! Brittany
Nicely put, Heather. You've definitely opened up my eyes to what is truly important when it comes to meeting that special someone one day, so thank you so much
I just started following you on IG FB and now TH-cam and I thank you because you have inspired me to change things around in my life and wait on God to not only direct me but to direct the right person into my life.
Wow. This was so powerful and so applicable to my life. It's funny how many of the things that you deem as "deal-breakers" that I deem them as deal breakers as well. I am trying to fully submit to God to allow Him to find my husband for me.. Being fully devoted to God.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! THIS VIDEO IS SO ON POINT! PREACH SISTER!!!! You get me so crunk Heather!!! You basically spoke my heart. xoxox I'm sharing this video w/all my Sister's because this message, God will use to help clear up confusion for so many!! And you look beautiful as always. THAT DRESS!! Thank you for this right on time message Sis!!
now that i'm done watching it, thank you so much Heather for this. I found your ministry just at the right time and your material is helping me though some very difficult time. If nothing else, let that be your motivation to keep posting videos. My well wishes to you and your family :-)
Thank you Heather, this was great to watch. You truly are a blessing. I really thank God for you. I was struggling with the attraction one, I always felt I might have had to marry a man whom I wasnt attracted to, but you have opened my eyes, and now I know I don't have to think that way, thank you sis :) xx
You better preach Heather! Love that you've started a You Tube channel. You inspired me to rewrite my list and really pray over it and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit especially in this area of my life. I want to honor God whenever He calls me to that relationship and this helps :)
Wow you are an amazing woman of God.full of love and wisdom you even have that Christ glow..I'm struggling in making a desision on a relationship and this really guided me and I felt how Godswnr the message was thank you❤️❤️
this was very good I love the points and it really also showed me what serious points I should hold until marriage and it made me see and ask myself "what am I truly looking for?"
I love this video! I understand most of this. If you're not satisfied being single then you're not going to be satisfied in a relationship. You have to believe you are worthy and valuable to the Lord because he created you. =) Love your ministry Heather Lindsey! I got saved two years ago and I have been single since then putting God first in my life. Also, I do believe if the guy doesn't love God then how is he going to love you? When I feelings for a guy I had learn that to put my hope in God that he will change him for his desire not my desire.
I have always wanted to save myself for marriage and I’ve managed to do that so far, but I came close to giving myself to the wrong man. The guy that I was with was a Christian but as our relationship went on his faith wavered and in the end he ended up losing his faith completely. I stayed with him despite him not being a Christian anymore. I talked to him about waiting until marriage and he said he didn’t believe in that so I let go of that for him. I started to become distant from God and I was going against everything that I believed in. I eventually got out of that relationship. It was hard because I loved him but like you said, it wasn’t God’s will for me to be with him. I’m happy it didn’t go further and that I didn’t give up anything I would have regretted giving up.
Amen. Praise God. Excellent word of wisdom. Keep up the God work. God bless you, your union, your families and ministries to be a blessing to many for His praise and glory. 😇😇😇😇😇 JESUS IS LORD.
Absolutely fantastic wise advice. You remind me that there are actually godly men seeking godly wives. That it's right to not compromise on your values and appropriate standards. Thank you Heather.
This is great...I'd really like it if you could talk about adultery & it's true meaning of how it is NOT JUST when your spouse commits sexual immorality but also when a wo/man divorces his/her spouse & marry another when the ex-spouse is still alive. They don't discuss that now days & the truth should be known. I ask the father in heaven to continue to bless your family & your ministry. Continue to let the Word of God be true & EVERY man a lie. God bless. Amen.
WoW you spoke the truth!!! I was in an arranged marriage with an unbeliever and my mom wanted us to get married bc we had same nationality 14 years later we are now going through a divorce. I’m so grateful bc he was not a man of God we bumped heads a lot which put a strain on the marriage it is true 2cor. 14-16 thank you Jesus for being my light!!!
I have to tell you I'm glad I stumbled upon your Channel . I enjoyed your version of this video . I find that men have a list and they expect everything on the list , I enjoyed both versions but yours spoke to me and helped me understand the how, and why ....
Thanks for the post Heather :) can you make a video/podcast/blog post addressing the kind of friendships that are worth holding onto vs those that we need to let go of? Thank You!
I love the fact that you said "If you don't have Jesus as your Lord, How can you properly love me?" That makes the idea of being equally yolked alot clearer.
It was my girlfriend who brought me to the lord. as our relationship has grown I seek him further and learning everyday.
chicksseree what are these mixed feelings to do with? Pray to God and ask for clarity and ask him to do what he wills in the situation because you want to follow God's will for your life if he's struggling with the concept of God invite him to church and tell him to speak to the Pastor there if you don't think you can give him sufficient answers to his questions
As a man this video really opened my eyes to some things. Thanks for posting.
I just read and shared your blog on FB, which lead me here and now I'm a subscriber. You speak the truth. When I turned 30 I made a decision that I wanted a husband that God wanted for me so I made my list, which also included "Deal-Breakers. Guess what? I've been happily married for almost 14 years. I will definitely share your blog and videos with my single friends!
That's amazng congrats on 14 years of marriage. I'm single & as I am reaching 30 I sometimes think is it ever gonna happen for me?! I look at how almost all of my friends are married or mothers. I kinda felt like I'm running out of time. Thank you for posting this comment. It encourages me to keep waiting on God.
Hang in there! I definitely understand how you're feeling. I felt the same way when I was 30. It's hard to be encouraged when your friends are getting married and having children and you are still single, but being patient and waiting on the right person is so worth it. I didn't get married until 34. Also, your mate could be right there under your nose. I remember a very close friend of mine told me that I would probably end up marrying someone that I already knew and I just couldn't see it, but I ended marrying someone that I attended church with that I had know since I was 13. So keep your options open.
twinsmom8 thank you so much.
twinsmom8 Your comment just encouraged me. God bless you :)
twinsmom8 amen!
One thing I LOVE about you Heather is how 100% real you are! Like you speak so much truth its ridiculous!
VaZquez
Very true no sugar coating but still has a gentle spirit about her.
Hi Heather, God lead me to finding your blog last night a day after I asked Him for help. I am soooooooooo grateful that you are allowing God to use you. Please don't stop making videos, if anything they're helping this 20 year old girl from London.
God Bless you
Giiiiirl!!! You just don't know how much this confirms my heart!!! Ppl don't understand that I have faith knowing that MY God shall supply all my needs and bless me with the desires of my heart in the process, I just have to be patient. And that's where we mess up, we get antsy "waiting" so we make thing happen on our own and began settling. Knowing good and well this ain't what we want but we're so "tired" of waiting. My daddy always says we don't get up off of the operating table in the middle of surgery do we? So why do we want to do that when God is in the middle of something. Allow him to finish his work in you before you go bringing your tore up past in somebody else's life. Whoooo!!! I'm getting fired up let me stop lol!! But thank you Heather for blessing me/us with that word!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
This video is so encouraging because me and the man Im courting with have made a promise not to kiss until our wedding day. I thank God so much for this gift. Since being together and experiencing what a Godly relationship is about we have learned so much about self control, discipline, true love, and honoring God with our bodies and behavior. We are not perfect but we desire to give our relationship all we have to give to it and learn as we grow.
Amen I love this! A dealbreaker for me is a guy that smokes. I could never date a smoker. I had a guy come to me once, and because he smelled like cigarettes, he did not get the number! It's the little things. Amazing story! you are inspiring!
GIRL. You are preaching. Thank you for keeping it 100% real.
Proof Yes!!!! I’m listening to all your videos. You are awesome!!!
Thank you for your obedience to God Heather. This was extremely encouraging for me. God bless you!
Wow! Go ahead, woman of God! I bless the Lord for your obedience in sharing the wisdom He has bestowed upon you in this area. The Lord always reminds me to seek first His kingdom and righteousness and all else will fall into place. Many blessings to you and yours..
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your ministry to single Christian women is soooo needed! We don't have any guidance in our churches for single people - so appreciative! Bless ya mountains ✨🙏🏼✨
Your videos make me feel so much better!!
This video is so good and so important...it really puts a lot of things in perspective. I hate it when people say that you shouldn't expect anything in a future husband....YES, there are some things you should expect! Not like a list of "must be blond, must like such-and-such a movie" or whatever, but really important things, like Godliness and love. You can't just settle, there ARE requirements for a Godly husband, just like there are requirements for a Godly wife. It took me so so long to realize this, that no, you don't have to just be a passive wallflower and take whoever comes a long, you need to have Godly standards about your future spouse. Thank you so much for making this. I've gotten mixed up with some stupid guys just because I settled for someone who would even remotely begin to care about me. This is just so important, thank you so much.
Heather thank you so much.God is continually using u to minister to me.when u said 'if he's another religion , muslim'..i froze..coz u spoke directly to me.been tryx to let my muslim boyfriend go for a while now.held on to the hope that he wld accept Jesus but its nt happening.thank you
Heather! God used you to change so many of young women, and women's lives in general! Thanks for letting him use you! To God be the glory! This video speaks VOLUMES!
Heather, I looooovvvveeee your videos and what God is doing in you, as well as your husband's life. The man that I'm in courtship with now is seriously considering marriage sometime in the next year or two and I am beyond elated because I know he's a man who actively seeks, obeys, and loves God and that he's definitely the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I was so nervous because some people kept telling me that I needed to wait until I was out of college and save a certain amount before I make that decision, but I know that God is telling us that it's time and we've been in his face like crazy hearing what he wants us to do and planning accordingly. Your video gives me so much reassurance that marriage is so much more than us, but about glorifying and honoring him through our marriage.
Watching 10 years later in 2024! This is such a helpful video❤
I truly hate to say this, but this is so dead on. I fell away from my relationship with the Lord when I was in my early 20's and got pregnant. He proposed and I married my then would-be baby daddy, because I wanted a family. I didn't grow up with my biological father and didn't want that for my son. Although he hadn't had the teaching on Godly marriages and family I grew up with, I figured it would be okay because he got saved the month before we got married, and who doesn't want to know God, right? Boy was I wrong. He got saved, and backed off some things, but that was it. No prayer life, limited Word, no interest in connecting to the church. To say that I hated my married life for many years is an understatement. Divorce was not an option because I wasn't being physically abused, nor was my husband physically cheating on me. The self-discipline he lacked with me, he also lacked after we got married. He wasn't a leader, had no direction, depended on me to lead the family spiritually, financially, you name it. He didn't know who he was in Christ, and didn't seem to want to know. He didn't want me active in our church. My relationship with God became a point of contention between us, and I resented him. I knew if I left, it wouldn't please God. I had to pray through the years. Although my husband is now walking with God, it's still a far cry than what would have been acceptable to me before I fell away from my relationship with God. The Lord has given me true love for my husband and shown me to respect him even when he was far from respectable. I wish I could say after almost 15 years that he's done a complete turnaround, but that simply isn't true yet. It's still very much a work in progress, but God is faithful to finish what He's begun. Also, choosing less than God's best for me at the time also changed me. I didn't recognize myself. I became mean and angry. Ways I said I'd never treat my husband or talk to my husband "when I get married"...I went beyond that. I became the wife the Word complains about. I do truly love my husband now. Not only in word, but in deed. God is merciful and so gracious. It took a lot of humility and prayer to bring change to our home. Yes, because I was the more mature Believer, I had the main responsibility to allow myself to be changed so God's power and love could change our home. And lots of times it was painful. Our marriage is a lot better now, but I can honestly say that I, he, and our children have paid dearly for a selfish, desperate, and life-changing decision I made years ago. It's always better God's way.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm currently dating someone who sounds exactly like your husband before you got married. I have a lot of doubt that I can't seem to shake. What do you suggest? Do I continue to date him and give him a chance or?
ItIsWhatItIsLDN My honest reply...Don't do it. We women don't feel the magnitude of being unequally yoked until we are in the marriage. If he isn't leading you closer to Christ through his own relationship with God, end the relationship. I know that's harsh advice, but there is so much heartache awaiting you if you continue in a relationship with a man who has his own agenda. No man is perfect, but for a Christian woman, a lack of a true walk with Christ should definitely be a deal breaker. Although we are in this world, we are not of it. That doubt you sense, I'm sure, is the Holy Spirit trying to help you avoid a life-changing bad decision. Trust God for your husband. I know it's cliche, but until you meet your soon-to-be, make Christ and His agenda priority. Your hubby will come around, but in the meantime be about our Father's business.
msbrig1 thank you soo much for your advice. Out of my own stubbornness I gave the guy a chance again but my heart wasn't at peace with my decision so I asked him some honest questions about his relationship with God and it was very wishy-washy so I've broken it off for good this time. At least I know that the feelings I had were just missing that companionship and not that he was who God wanted for me. I will wait on God from now on. Thank you for sharing your story, it helped a lot. God bless you
God bless you too
msbrig1 thank you for sharing your testimony. This really spoke to me today. God Blesss you and your Family!
You are so passionate and true to yourself. And I love that alot! Keep being you and Keep preaching!
so happy that you're making videos, you are such an inspiration and the person who God used to lead me to Him, love your books, I look forward to seeing Cornelius' appearance his message is always convicting, sending love from the UK :)
Heather, Thank you so much. These videos are needed so much. God speaking through you to encourage or if its just answering a question. God uses you. I know you know that, that's why you're posting and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me 'Vlogging' Tell your husband I appreciate so much the video he made on Deal Breakers as well. Ya'll are absolutely beautiful!
I just want to publicly thank God for putting it on your heart and schedule to record and share this video. A true blessing to my soul. Continue to be a blessing. Thank you for listening to God.
I read a couple of your blogs in the last few months and I now discovered your youtube channel (as well as your husbands) and I have to say both of you ministered a great word to me. I'm so encouraged right now, and it has truly agreed with my spirit with everything that you have said in this video. I pray God continue to bless you and your family, and your ministry as well.
I just got here, and I'm taking notes. Thank you Lord for the guidance. Thanks for your obedience Heather!
You came with it straight...no chaser...no sugar coating...plain truth. Thank you!
Ms. Heather,
You are an inspiration and you've truly blessed me with your words at such a perfect time. It is so difficult being a college student and trying to live the life God is calling you to. I am in the process of finding myself and really understanding my purpose. For that reason, I thank God for pushing me to come across your channel and blog and Instagram. I love what you stand for and all that you have accomplished is exactly what I feel my spirit is opening my eyes to, the potential that I have and have been running from. I don't know if you will ever read this but I feel the need to just let you know. Sis, I love you and I hear you. I would love to become a part of your pinky promise foundation, receive your guidance as a mentor, or help out in any way necessary/possible. I thank you again for your kind heart and words and pray God will continuously pour down blessings upon you and your family.
😢😢😢😢 THANK YOU for this!!!!! I'm newly divorced, after 21 years with the same man and two children. I know my identity is a beloved daughter of Abba Father! This video has been so affirming of where I am right now! Thank you for the tips &advice! it's incredible to think there might be men out there, that would wait until a day of marriage, for even kissing. Very encouraging! before my husband left, I had been praying for my marriage to be christ-centered. God was apparently listening. my husband is/ was not Christ-centered, so I believe God is trying to give me the desires of my heart. Working on myself and my children right now. Drawing even nearer to Christ and I know he will bring the right person at the right time. Thank you for the encouragement, I think I will be listening to this quite often. Blessings Sister
I have listened to this before, but now it's more relevant to the season I'm in compared to back then. Thanks Heather
I love the truth in your words, Heather. Thank you for the word of caution and encouragement. God bless.
This video was absolutely phenomenal. It really touched me and got me to really understand some things. I follow your blog, but this was just more in depth and personal. Thank you so much for sharing and allowing God to use you. You don't understand how extremely perfect and right on time this video was for me. Thank you, sister.
I love this.....I am a single women dating and I have always had deal breakers, however like most we break them. I am at a point in my life where I no longer want to break them and I am praying to my GOD for my hearts desires of my husband. I no longer want to date but I am ready to meet my husband. I know that God will determine the time, so right now I am working on me to ensure that I am the person I wish to meet. You are very inspirational and I love your posting on IG and your videos. I Thank God for Allowing you to share your stories.
Can you do a video on timing for older women (late 30's/40's) who are single & believing for a husband & child
Love this! so inspiring getting back to the truth. I'm not going to kiss my future wife till we get married and cultivate her to what God designed her to be.. focus on my relationship with God first.. not going to settle till I have God's best not mine.. 😊
Nick B👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Nick B have you found her?
This is A LOT of confirmation!even the Kenya part lol thank you for your obedience in recording this, just answered a WHOLE SLEW of questions I've been asking the Lord since December!!!!
wow everything you said so registered in my heart! Amen, this is so encouraging!
Oh my gosh this is exactly what I need. It's as if you know everything going on in my mind. God bless you Heather and continue to use you for his glory! I absolutely love this!!
Can't believe I missed this video. Watched Cornelius's deal breakers and saw that you had one too. Such a blessing 🙏🏿
Thank you Sister in the Lord for this message. Spoke volumes to me.
Heather..You are so inspiring ! Thank you so much for your obedience to God! These deal breakers are good . I came out of a 4 yr relationship because something in my spirit new something wasn’t right. Your videos have spoke so much to me in this season of being single again. Much 💕 love !
Amen! I'm 24 years old and I've been believing God for my husband this year. However, I was not content with being single right now. After watching this it reinforces that I need to actually BE my list. I made a list of 160 qualities and Characteristics I wanted in my husband. I have to remember not to be in such a rush but have the mindset that God I will wait forever if I have to. I need someone strong in their faith who will hold me accountable in things like not kissing until the wedding day which is something I'm battling & I've only kissed one person when I was 19. Thanks for posting Heather :)
God bless you. This was the video I needed to see and listen to. I'm going through marital problems and the words that you said gave me some healing and vision were to lead my life towards thank you and God bless you.
This was excellent! I just recently called off my engagement because of many things i had seen all along that werent right but continued in the relationship anyway. I thank God for the peace that I know possess so that He can heal my heart and use me to my fullest capacity in ministry. I thank you so much because a few days after the break off I was praying and you had posted the link to your blog about just breaking up and it really ministered to me and gave me good biblical scriptures to read and stand on concerning my decision..
I'm proud of you. I know it was hard but a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. xo
Amen! Im coming to hear you and speak in Livonia Michigan sunday...cant wait..bringing some friends...yippy!
I remember the first time I tried watching this video slightly over a year ago, not sure I finished it cos I was hurt and angry (I think I just had a break up or I was on the verge of breaking up)....was still trying to convince myself that Breaking up was wrong....still trying to find reasons why staying in the relationship was right but now I can freely watch it. Hearing the truth sometimes is hard but always brings freedom :) Cheers Pastor Mrs Lindsey for this!
I read your book which was real nice... but hearing you speak the words is an even more awesome and impacting experience!
Thanks for another great message! It’s true; some people think that after marriage the person will automatically change and be perfect, but change takes time. I also believe God really does care about you being with the right person, for me God has said no so many times and it’s hard but I know as my Heavenly Father He is only doing what’s best.
Loved this! Can you do a more specific video on settling? God bless!
I can put that on my list of to do! ;-)
Thank you very much, I appreciate it :)
Thank you so much for this video!! I was really moved by it and I feel that God made me watch this video for a reason. Thank you for allowing God to use you for His glory and may His goodness, love, favor and grace continue to flow in your life and in the life of your family. You are forever blessed! xoxo
AMEN! Thanks for sharing, this blessed me and helping me to understand everyone is not perfect, it takes PRAYER and is a PROCESS! Continue to let HIM use you!
I'm watching this again and I am still getting golden nuggets. Thanks sis.
I enjoyed this! Can you do a blog or vlog on obstacles/conflict that come up during courtship?? How did you overcome arguments/disagreements? The enemy attacks especially when you're honoring God in your relationship. I'm super happy in my courtship and I have learned so much about myself so I wanted to know more about how you dealt with conflict in your courtship
Girl, yes. The struggle is REAL. Me & the hubby will do one together soon on this area! xo
Yes, please help me in this area!
wow,, this is soo timing,, i am more than sure what i want now in a relationship. Thankyou Heather for your ministry!
Idk how I came to your channel.
Glad I got here!
Preach to us!
I am currently married (almost 3 years) and this helped me!
Can you do a video on what a wife should be?
ItsOhKay the proverbs 31 woman
Wow, that was a great video! Something you said really spoke to me. The part where you mentioned you were in Walgreens and wanted to buy some makeup and Cornelius said no that's not the reason we came in here. I'm always buying silly little things and anytime my boyfriend comments on it I get defensive about it because I'm thinking, "hey, you're not my husband yet I'll do what I want" but man am I convicted! That is not a good attitude. God is definitely breaking that off of me!
Thank you for this video and your obedience to God!
Brittany
Awww!!! Love your heart! It's so encouraging! Thank you for this message!
Thank you Heather!!! My main point from this is to have the qualities you want you partner to have
Nicely put, Heather. You've definitely opened up my eyes to what is truly important when it comes to meeting that special someone one day, so thank you so much
I just started following you on IG FB and now TH-cam and I thank you because you have inspired me to change things around in my life and wait on God to not only direct me but to direct the right person into my life.
Heather, thank you so much for sharing these videos. Much needed from a down to earth person like you.
Wow. This was so powerful and so applicable to my life. It's funny how many of the things that you deem as "deal-breakers" that I deem them as deal breakers as well. I am trying to fully submit to God to allow Him to find my husband for me.. Being fully devoted to God.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! THIS VIDEO IS SO ON POINT! PREACH SISTER!!!! You get me so crunk Heather!!! You basically spoke my heart. xoxox I'm sharing this video w/all my Sister's because this message, God will use to help clear up confusion for so many!! And you look beautiful as always. THAT DRESS!! Thank you for this right on time message Sis!!
now that i'm done watching it, thank you so much Heather for this. I found your ministry just at the right time and your material is helping me though some very difficult time. If nothing else, let that be your motivation to keep posting videos. My well wishes to you and your family :-)
Heather! love this video.. i come back every so often just to get focused on my deal-breakers
Thank you Heather, this was great to watch. You truly are a blessing. I really thank God for you. I was struggling with the attraction one, I always felt I might have had to marry a man whom I wasnt attracted to, but you have opened my eyes, and now I know I don't have to think that way, thank you sis :) xx
Thank you for confirming what God has been teaching me in this season.
Amen sis for those words of wisdom! Can't wait to come back to Atlanta & fellowship with you all again. Holy hugs & Jesus love :)
You better preach Heather! Love that you've started a You Tube channel. You inspired me to rewrite my list and really pray over it and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit especially in this area of my life. I want to honor God whenever He calls me to that relationship and this helps :)
Wow you are an amazing woman of God.full of love and wisdom you even have that Christ glow..I'm struggling in making a desision on a relationship and this really guided me and I felt how Godswnr the message was thank you❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this video. I'm going to use this to study along my journey to marriage. Thank you!
Oh! Heather I just love you and your messages!
Great video look forward to hearing from Pastor Lindsay in the next video
This is a reminder for me that I am going about things the right way! Thank you!
Beautifully said Heather! God Bless:)
Love the message Heather! Continue to grow this TH-cam channel!
I LOVE This!!! Heather I love you so much! Thank you for this ministry
this was very good I love the points and it really also showed me what serious points I should hold until marriage and it made me see and ask myself "what am I truly looking for?"
I love this video! I understand most of this.
If you're not satisfied being single then you're not going to be satisfied in a relationship. You have to believe you are worthy and valuable to the Lord because he created you.
=)
Love your ministry Heather Lindsey! I got saved two years ago and I have been single since then putting God first in my life. Also, I do believe if the guy doesn't love God then how is he going to love you?
When I feelings for a guy I had learn that to put my hope in God that he will change him for his desire not my desire.
Karina Villalobos amen!!
love the dark hair
I definitely needed to hear a number of things in this video! Thank you
I have always wanted to save myself for marriage and I’ve managed to do that so far, but I came close to giving myself to the wrong man. The guy that I was with was a Christian but as our relationship went on his faith wavered and in the end he ended up losing his faith completely. I stayed with him despite him not being a Christian anymore. I talked to him about waiting until marriage and he said he didn’t believe in that so I let go of that for him. I started to become distant from God and I was going against everything that I believed in. I eventually got out of that relationship. It was hard because I loved him but like you said, it wasn’t God’s will for me to be with him. I’m happy it didn’t go further and that I didn’t give up anything I would have regretted giving up.
I really really needed this. Watched It twice actually. Thanks for the reminder!
Amen. Praise God.
Excellent word of wisdom. Keep up the God work. God bless you, your union, your families and ministries to be a blessing to many for His praise and glory.
😇😇😇😇😇
JESUS IS LORD.
Absolutely fantastic wise advice. You remind me that there are actually godly men seeking godly wives. That it's right to not compromise on your values and appropriate standards. Thank you Heather.
This is great...I'd really like it if you could talk about adultery & it's true meaning of how it is NOT JUST when your spouse commits sexual immorality but also when a wo/man divorces his/her spouse & marry another when the ex-spouse is still alive. They don't discuss that now days & the truth should be known. I ask the father in heaven to continue to bless your family & your ministry. Continue to let the Word of God be true & EVERY man a lie. God bless. Amen.
WoW you spoke the truth!!! I was in an arranged marriage with an unbeliever and my mom wanted us to get married bc we had same nationality 14 years later we are now going through a divorce. I’m so grateful bc he was not a man of God we bumped heads a lot which put a strain on the marriage it is true 2cor. 14-16 thank you Jesus for being my light!!!
thanks for this Heather! really helped me a lot. God's blessings be with you XX
You mentioned Kenya!! Yes, please do come to Kenya with your family one day soon, we would like to host you. Be blessed!
This is so on point and so on time. I truly needed this! Thank you!
I have to tell you I'm glad I stumbled upon your Channel . I enjoyed your version of this video . I find that men have a list and they expect everything on the list , I enjoyed both versions but yours spoke to me and helped me understand the how, and why ....
Very powerful & informative video. Was wondering if you could record a video on possible questions to ask when courting. Thanks & God bless you!
That was so encouraging. Thank you Heather.
Thank God for you and your husband!
Thanks for the post Heather :) can you make a video/podcast/blog post addressing the kind of friendships that are worth holding onto vs those that we need to let go of? Thank You!
Thank you so much Heather! This is very encouraging to me.
This vid came at the right time, thank you...truly blessed!!!
All I have to say is that I totally agree....God bless you Sis Heather
This was absolutely AWESOME. I needed to see this. Thank you.