Tinder VS Cold Approach - How Approaching Women Change My Life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- Which is better? Tinder and all it's online dating cousins? Or putting in the time to learn to cold approach women?
Well as it turns out, learning to cold approach women during the day or night is about so much more than just having a life full of beautiful women.
It's about embarking on a journey of self-improvement.
So much of what you discover when you're learning to cold approach women in bars/clubs and on the street, are skills that you'll use in almost all aspects of your life, not just when talking to girls.
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School Of Attraction
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Online = less attractive women, more competition, higher flake rate
Cold Approach = more attractive women, less competition, lower flake rate
VERDICT = if you want the most attractive & highest quality women cold approach is the clear winner
It's not
I agree so many unattractive women on dating apps,I get way better results in person by approaching.
The rate of attractive women online is just as the same from cold-approaching, but yeah, flake rate is bigger online, on-the-other-hand both of the means have a little sucess rate overall to men that aren't on top 5%.
Who else just comes here to read the comments? It’s like going to the zoo lmao
Lol
I don't know if you guys notice the big picture , what's happening lately is that we only have more social networks, more social this and that. But deep inside people is more antisocial than ever. Rarely you see people speaking to others face to face. Just through a god damn screen. It's an irony. Ten years time being autistic will be considered normal
So true, man. The irony of "social media" you said it better than me 👌
I've had next to no success with online dating but get good results in person in nightclubs / bars without even putting in much effort at all, most of the time a girl either approaches or makes it obvious she's interested through IOI's. The difference is worlds apart.
this is especially if you aren't good with profiles. dating apps profiles are like a complete style of a resume, you gotta have pictures that make people stay interested before they even read about you. at nightclubs and bars you literally just have to be there, if you're attractive you can find people left and right.
Online is a time waster. Feels much more rewarding going out and approaching! funner than any video game and i love video games
10:20 learn cold approach because you want to become a better man .. loved that one
Cold approach has the obvious advantage of ensuring the lady is truly attractive to you. If you are subjecting yourself to likely rejection unless you are a pickup grand Marshall and the awkwardness of talking to a complete stranger on a risqué topic you are going to ensure the reward is worth all that and likely only approach 6s at the absolute lowest.
Tinder is a representation of dating in reality. Skewed against the men and women have to do the bare minimum.
@UserName
Tinder is not reality......
@@whiskeycompany13 How so? It is true that attractive women both receive incredible attention in reality and tinder. Women find ugly and short guys both on tinder and outside of tinder, only feeling attraction to the above average looking guys. So what exactly is the difference?
@Witch House stupid girl. girls dont even apprach so shut up and live with your cats.
Nah, it's reality x100. Shit isn't that hard in real life.
@@UserRobot215 Getting to the point of being above average in terms of looks and style are very much achievable for most guys. But the thing is, when it comes to dating, looks are not everything: attractiveness of your body, your style/dress sense, your body language, your communication abilities, your personality, confidence and, lastly, your social and Job status. When you can get above average in all of these things, you will be in the top 10% of men, and that is because most men will be seriously lacking in some of these areas.
In regards to your comment as to why women are selective in their partners, you need to realise one thing, it is them that will carry around a baby for 9 months and be forced to care for it, while you, the father, could have fucked off and never been seen again. If you want to get good with women and develop yourself as a man, you need to realise and accept the fact that you are on the same team as women, and that there are benefits and negatives to being a man and women on the dating scene. Instead of raging at the negatives and hardships of being a man on the dating scene, develop yourself and roll with the punches: it will make yourself a better person inside and outside the dating realm.
Great video, I think you touched on an important part but really it's the only part. All of this needs to be part of a bigger bubble.... A new healthy lifestyle. It's a whole package. I was guilty of coming into to being single just looking for the hookup and success again with women, but what I didn't realize is that the women are only a small benefit of a new lifestyle that makes us worthy of what we want.
The self asteem crush i do recognize for sure. Been on tinder for the past like 2.5 years , been on a few dates but nothing really came out of it and this has been killing for my confidence regarding women.
Jfl imagine actually getting to meet someone from there.. try getting no matches that arnt obese or over 30
@@daysgoneby3527 there'many attractive women over 30, about the obese i just agree.
I agree with you Damien ... Cold approach always helps with women ... Well Said 🤟
I've hookup and grind with 5 - 7 girls when going out to club on average. However online get minimal results lol
God damn, I've been with my girl for 13 years now. And I have to be honest, I am genuinely so happy I don't have to go through what a lot of men are going through right now.
God bless all of you soldiers.
You miss the point man. Having to go throught this is pure blessing, because it pushes you to become a man in the higher sense of the word. It's not about womens no more
@okabeokuyasu2505 I wrote my comment 3 years ago, and funnily enough...
Totally forgot I made this comment.
I had to leave my relationship due to alchohol issues on her behalf, I had to make the decision to leave someone I had been with for 16 years... and had to go through the dating game myself this last and yeah, it's been fucking insanity.
I don't remember people so
Being so self obsessed, arrogant and narcissistic.
It's been hell but again, I've dragged myself out of the abyss and I've been with a beautiful, caring, strong woman for 5 months now!
We can all do it lads, no matter how hard it is!
@@josephjones3729 That comeback thought haha, enjoy man
@okabeokuyasu2505 well, I wouldn't want you to go without an update!
A bit unrelated to the video but i don't know what's going on with tinder, it's the only dating app i get almost zero matches. With the same pictures i get lots of success on OkCupid with good looking women.
I can give you some tips mate how to have more matches.
You are the 1 of the best for Tinder vids on TH-cam hands down :D
Thanks so much!
@@SchoolOfAttraction No problem m8 ! Tinder is awsome !
I've moved from cold approaching to Tinder because every freaking girl I'm interested in and approach is taken (and even still so far on Tinder have exactly 0 matches in 2 days so not a good start).
The way you look, am not suprised.
Spot on bro
Agreed.
6 months and 900 matches. Only 1 stood out.
I really want to learn this!
For what? Lol so the woman can cheat on you for some other guy?
@@UserRobot215 what do you mean? I meant I want to learn cold approach
Tinder works if you are slightly above average. Why does that sounds like a joke to me ? With the rest I can all agree.
So you can quite readily take a guy who's just above average - you gotta get some really great photos of him, then you can start to get some decent matches. I work with guys like this regularly - But yes you can always get MORE matches with less effort on the photos / profile the more attractive you are.
@@SchoolOfAttraction But then the girl meets him in real life and she is not interested because he looked way better in his pictures than in real life.
I dont wanna be the 'nice guy'' anymore!!!
I am noticing as Tinder gets to be worse of an app and put out more terrible updates that these video are gearing more towards “Don’t bother.” 🤷🏽♂️
Well essentially I'm trying to tell people the good bad and ugly - I coach Tinder, but if Tinder is screwing people over, then I'll be honest, and not try to push them into something just to make myself money on that skillset. If Tinder ups their game again, the topics of my videos will change...
I'm curious how you're able to advise on tinder and other current trends if you've been with your partner 10 years. Do you use it for research purposes?
So a few ways - 1) My relationship has been open for periods of time, so I've been able to 'all the way' tinder plenty of times 2) I Run many test accounts both of myself and other fake people 3) My coaches all still use Tinder so I get direct feedback from them as well as trends shift.
@Jack Barclay dude, calm down, this guy is taking his time to give out some useful advice. You can critique him but don't disrespect him.
Isn't Neil divorced after the Truth? And he disregarded every inner game principle when experimenting more unorthodox relationships. Food for thought.
Now you're pushing my memory (I read it 4 or 5 years ago) I thought he got back with his wife at the end. And he certainly disregarded a lot of 'pickup strategies' and modes of thought - But nothing that I disagreed with. I don't like a lot of common PUA mindsets, I think they're often unhealthy emotionally.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I get your point you can suck at life and get laid. But you can suck at life and get married too. It wasn't his monogamy or polygamy, the issue, it was him IMO. He divorces after the book.
You mention that one will find quality women when cold approaching. Can you further explain this? Also one last question. Where would you recommend are some good places to start cold approaching?
So what I mean is that you tend to just meet women who are more confident, emotoinally well adjusted, better quality over all than those you meet on Tinder. Not to say you can't meet cool chicks on Tinder too, but Real life just seems to offer something better. As far as where to go for cold approaches, that depends on if its day or night. For daygame - somewhere that you get a lot of tourists can be good for a beginner because tourists are usually friendlier than locals. For night game, slightly classier venues are better than the regular pub... You ideally wan a place that has a cocktail bar vibe - music, but nothing too loud, and a step up from the local bar.
5:09. Sounds like you put a lot of skill points in speech
Awesome
Hello Damien nice video thank you, I'd like to ask you for your opinion on one thing: I'd like to date multiple women at the same time but I feel guilty of breaking ethical conduct. Should we tell the women we date with that we date others or keep it private? Also what do you recommend so that I don't feel guilty of cheating if I date multiple women at the same time?
Well the first key thing is to not lead women to feel that you're being exclusive - I tell women every early on that I'm enjoying being single and focusing on myself and my own self development. By making it clear I'm not looking for exclusivity, then women won't think of me as a committed partner, and I'm not deceiving anyone.
@@SchoolOfAttraction great idea but what if that approach will make some of them leave and you want those (or maybe especially one of them) to stay and hang around with no strings attached?
So this is the catch - if they would leave you if you knew the truth - then you are lying to them and you'll feel bad about it because you are cheating. If you don't want to be monogamous you have to stick with women who want the same thing you do.
Wow, I definitely have deep seated issues. And, I take responsibility for my loneliness, I have no excuses. I know this video is at least a year old. But one metric I would use to determine if a coach is right, is their willingness to commit to their lady. That being said, what’s your position on marriage?
Why is that your metric?
Didn't you just do a video where you said "Cold approach is DEAD"?
Tom Morris yeah exactly lol
Touche - It was called "Cold Approaching Is Doomed" - IT still works perfectly fine - The video talked about how daygame is going to eventually become illegalised with laws and expectations changing - But people interpreted it to mean that daygame doesn't work anymore - But I never said that if you watch. It was a video talking about the future.
SchoolOfAttraction daygame is never going to actually be outlawed.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Daygames can't be illegalised for as long as talking to strangers (which was never illegal and never will be) weren't illegalised. Imagine a society you can't talk to strangers
I wish I got to know you sooner!
Please don’t diss the legends they are the ones who created this whole industry. You lost me on this one, I know what type of person you are now
Best advice for most normal ish men...
Forget online dating exist ☺
Golden comment.
Neither one is a good option
Derek from More Plates More Dates and Good Looking Loser.
Cold approach is only ok if she wants you to approach her. Otherwise it's seen as borderline (or even full on) sexual harassment. So unless you're a top 20% guy looks-wise or have mastered your telepathy skills, it's not advisable.
Vinterskog yeah, that’s how consent works. If a girl isn’t interested in her, leave her alone.
This is dumb advice, cold approach works for any guy willing to approach and fail a ton, improve each time to get good with women. Even average guys who are short have success with this. Even if you are ugly or whatever, I’m you will be more confident just for the fact that you are approaching a woman where as most men won’t.
@@whiskeycompany13 Well, there is no way to get the information - is she interested - before approaching her. IOIs can be misinterpreted.
Страга Севера
Sorry idk what lOls is
@@whiskeycompany13 Indications of Interest
😁
Discount code for tinder gold? I just signed up and $27 a month is abserd and $100 for 6 months also nuts. Also how long before my matches auto remove if i don't pay the signup cost?
I used to try to use dating sites but I was only getting fat and unattractive girls on there and I know I look better than that do I started cold approaching women and I’ve had more success with that. I think it’s because every guy is talking to them on dating sites but not a lot of guys are walking up to her and you stand out when you do walk up to her
Yeah, you'll always get hotter women doing cold approaching - but it's not a very good political climate right now with the apocalypse and socail distancing
I constantly find myself pulling up the MGTOW crowd by telling them how the compatible couple is far greater than the individuals parts. They are so immersed in their dogma it goes straight over their heads! They really don't get it!
Compatible? Name one couple who can't stand each other after 2 year's?
Kerry, while I think a lot of the MGTOW crowd are idiots, I think for a lot of them it’s more about (a) how difficult it is to find that “compatibility”; (b) how unlikely it is to maintain it long term; and (c) how much it can destroy you’re life when it goes wrong (given the courts, etc.) While I am certainly not MGTOW myself, I do share some of their concerns and at times even their pessimism.
There are different levels of MGTOW btw
It works vice versa, doesn't it - I build rapport very easily in social or professional life so this is going to carry over into cold approaches.
10:16 That's the secret sauce
I’ve read the book! 🙋🏻♂️ it’s amazing. Right now I am pushing myself daily to practice this skill and getting better, like in a 30-day challenge. Soon I get tired of “socializing” because I am naturally very introverted, but today is day 6 and I am still going to put myself out there and see who I can find and talk to, I just would like to know how to keep the thrill and energy to go out there and talking to women, since the first two days I was super happy and loved it but days 3-5 felt like “work”. Still, you’re the best Damien, if I am getting better and pushing myself out, it’s very much because of your advice and encouragement!!
Wow mate, thank you so much for letting me know, I'm very proud!
Wow - I need this one
I can't find the cold approach method on here really interested in not hiding when I'm in a crowded room I'm a big guy but tend to hide my presence alot
What is the discount price?
$9
If this was true, low level salesmen who cold call people would be the social kings, rather than annoying bottom feeders. Cold approach does not emulate the type of man you'd most like to be. If you imagine the archetype of the ideal you, he isn't running across the street to say " real quick, that's a cool hat. Do you always wear hats or is this a special occasion. I'm Mathew by the way". No hero in any storyline, nobody you look up to as the really cool guy needs to be on the lookout for strangers in the street anymore than he'd do that with friendships. Does he get his friends by stopping other guys on the street " excuse me. That's a cool book. I read it a couple of years ago. Here, take my number. We can get coffee and talk about books". The only person who would call him would be a lonely, isolated one who's probably bad news and you wouldn't want him in your life anyway. Same with girls then. It's just an extension of life, not some mysterious video game where you're a wizard casting secret spells.
Question - why would a low level salesperson be the ideal? isn't a low level sales person be the analogue for a low level dater as well? High level sales men dont' chase leads either - high level salesmen aren't begging for sales - they have leads chase them because of systems they set up and their attitude towards their product. BUT every high level salesman STARTED by cold approaching to get his initial sales - they ALL had to go through the hustle days while they learned how to sell, but once they got good at it, there was no more need to hustle... So you're right, guys with amazing dating lives aren't chasing women across the street - but that doesnt' disprove my point.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Yes, well that's why I'm making the comparison. Low level salesmen do cold calling, and cold approaching is the dating parallel.
I don't agree that all high level salesmen had to start out by chasing leads and cold calling. Many just start out by getting really good at a service or having a really good product, and start out with a very strong frame based on that. Then they just make a good website that showcases what they do and direct traffic to it in one or more of the available ways. So no they didn't ALL have to go through the hustle days. In fact, a lot of moving up happens by deprogramming oneself from the hustle days and the ideas they were indoctrinated with, such as building stupid rapport first without a strong frame, then struggling to reframe, trying to play valuable while obviously being needy and chasing would be clients, trying to use features and benefits as leverage instead of the would be clients' emotions by showing them past success they've had and then painting a compelling picture of them having more success in another area by working with you, just so much stuff. As Oscar Wilde put it, "everything popular is wrong". I've found that most oft- repeated ideas in sales and game are.
@@SchoolOfAttraction You seem smart from the video I've seen. I'm sure I don't have to point out the obvious logical flaws in claiming "ALL successful salesmen started out by chasing leads via cold calling". Maybe " all of the ones I personally know of", and then the obvious answer to that would be " maybe you need to move in better circles.".
I think you're pulling things off track from your initial sentiment "If this was true, low level salesmen who cold call people would be the social kings, rather than annoying bottom feeders" - I mean Jordan Belfort was a social king fyi - GOOD cold call sales people are almost always amazing with wome - with some exceptions, but not many.
Again though - because something has a lot of parallels and is very similar doesn't make it a perfect match, and I never said it was a perfecet match, so I find myself not really knowing what you're fighitng against, and I'm not sure you're clear on that either.