if you cringed you probably never did an approach, so you're a loser and have no right to cringe or laugh it's absolutely normal to have your first approach be awkward af but it's admirable for the courage
@Chris McStoots I lost like 60 lbs and my life got much much easier. It's crazy how much difference it makes for you. I feel like my personality even changed too, where a lot of the traits I didn't like about myself just sort of melted away as I began to actually take pride in what I look like. Keep at it bro. The grass is so much greener on the other side
Cold approach is hard because most guys are too in their heads. Especially if you're in your early 20s, you don't have the body you want, or the money or the success/experience in life, so it just builds up and you think you're not good enough.
so true i used to think i had to be successful to be able to be good enough to talk to girls. The more you talk to girl the more you realize they think the same way.
actually leads to back issues though. as someone already said having balanced pushing and pulling muscles is actually better for your health even if the Delts do seem to have some weird vagina attracting gravity to them lol
Approaching someone is really no big deal, in my opinion set aside looks and all that and look at the situation objectively. Most guys are just afraid of looking like an idiot in front of a girl they like, or anyone period, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's a concern that any considerate person with common sense would have. However, if you're a guy having trouble approaching girls, the best advice I can give you in a situational sense it to put yourself in situations where approaching a girl is normal, a situation where it's not blatantly obvious that the only reason you're approaching them is to ask for a date. The reason for this is that people are a lot more comfortable in an environment where they share like interests, like interests are the foundation of friendships, and friendships are the foundation to relationships, friends with benefits, what have you, but especially long term relationships where compatibility is key. For instance if you like a certain type of music, go to a respective venue, rather it be a concert, a festival, what have you. If you're interested in a new line of work, try your hand at doing different lines or work, if you're interested in studying something in specific join a study group, join a facebook group related to whatever it is you're most interested in. Find girls that you actually have something in common with instead of blindly approaching people, be selective enough to choose how you spend your time and energy when it comes to hobbies as well as approaching women. A lot of men are just desperate and try the volume approach, which usually ends up being a waste of time unless they have several things working in their favor as well as luck depending on what it is they're looking for. A lot of men undervalue themselves and don't even realize how selective they can be, thus choose the volume / cold approach, the problem is even if it does get you dates,sex,whatever the chances that you have anything in common with the person is a crap shoot. The volume approach can desensitize you to to the anxiety that comes from approaching women, but to be honest it's an ass backwards approach, focus on your life, knowing your own value, putting yourself in situations where you're not at a loss for words, and have some ground to stand on to begin with, in situations where it's "normal" to do exactly what you want to do and know what the right thing to do is and you'll realize there is nothing to be overtly anxious about to begin with. (this may require hard work and a large amount of learning) I know things are different from individual to individual, but what it's really about is understanding life and having enough courage to do what you want to do. If you understand yourself and other people well enough, it very wall can be 1 number and you've got a date. In my opinion it's a more healthy practice for young men to focus on how they are living their life, studying human nature and being an authentic person and other things which require courage and understanding, instead of just spamming cold approaches and desensitizing themselves. From the moment we are born until the moment we die there are gonna be situations that make us anxious as people, it's not about not being anxious, what life is about is what we choose to do as individuals and why, in the face of the fact we are wildy unique individuals with different problems and different things going for us, all whilst essentially wanting the same things. People have to find their own way. I was born with a potentially terminal illness, and all my life I dealt with anxiety especially around girls until I was in my early 20's, what happened with me was I had some near death experiences that led me to take a serious look at how I'm living my life and make changes. After that, even though I may still feel some awkwardness or anxiety in some social situations, it's never anything compared to some of the other things I've been through. I think it's important for people to really experience life to it's fullest and learn everything they can to be ready for life in general, before just assuming they need to date someone. When someone special is around, you'll know it and even then don't put them on a pedestal, find out the right way to Live YOUR life and do so with confidence, relationships and other secondary things come with ease when you put yourself in the right place. If you chase something bigger than the opposite sex, 9/10 the opposite sex will end up chasing you because they'll be able to see that you're not like 90% of desperate people, you still have to know how to assess situations and seal the deal though lol
@@bloopy6166 oh don't come here with that blackpilled shit, my buddy is like 5`4 and under average and he's getting mad pussy lol. guy is always cheerful, puts his linguistic skills to use (he's part italian) and does his best to appear interesting and confident. meanwhile i'm here at 5`11 with above average looks watching this video. attitude and mindset can truly carry you dude
10 years ago in my early army days(19 years old) whenever i was home on leave, we’d hit the local mall and do this. We’d give each other something to say and turned it into a competition. Normally silly things like, “compliment her ears” or something about how nice the stars are even though it’s noon and indoors. They made me compliment a cop on his toes and as if I could see them. He wasn’t happy. But I’ve always been introverted and it really helped me to come out of my shell.
@@brotherjoll1802 I have no issues initiating conversations or anything like that anymore. I’m not a fan of crowds or even talking when in crowds, military could be partly to blame for that social anxiety. But one in one I have absolutely no issues at all. At 30 years old now I just focus on myself though.
One of the easiest ways to strike up a conversation with a random girl is to comment on her outfit One of my simple go to lines is "hey I like your shoes"....if she looks at you and smiles it's a wrap.
I worked with a chick on a Nightshift once, didn't get the chance to talk too much but I liked her. I ended up on the same shift as her a few weeks later. She was contracted in from a nursing Agency, so I may have never seen her again. I took the plunge, gave her my number (I've never gave anyone my number before, guess that doesn't happen so much these days with social media). 3 years later we're living together and expecting a baby. You never know what can happen when you grow a set of balls and just go talk to her.
The level of humility your exercising in this video is truly commendable. I'm addicted to the blatant honesty of all your videos regardless of the subject matter. Don't ever change man and keep doing what your doing!!!
Its 100x easier to pick up girls when ur with your friends. Its almost like you have to show off to them and it gives you a reason to keep the conversation short.
As a woman, I absolutely agree. I met my husband in a club. He approched me and was very nice and the conversation was so easy. He used to do cold approaches a lot when before meeting me, to learn how to talk to women and people general. Very practical for job interviews as well.
"Talk to people like you should be able to talk to them, like humans" This is so true, any girl, or your boss, or the CEO... They are just flawed human beigns like everyone of us.
Mad respect for doing this while bulking, I'd probably just say "hi" then start profusely perspiring, then eventually awkwardly fake laugh and run away.
I agree with the whole “you need to go through this phase so you don’t put your first serious girl on a pedestal.” I started going hard with dating apps in high school to build some confidence in myself, and got denied a lot, had some success but never actually had sex with any of the girls. I quickly found a girl that I actually liked and just stuck with her. And while she was cool and didn’t pull any bullshit, when I broke up with her 2 years later it was fine at first but then it crushed me months after when I got this idea in my head that I couldn’t do any better. And now I’ve been stuck in this mental rut for the last 5 years almost. Mind you I’ve got other life issues that have held me back but the thoughts of her still haunt me. This video has given me a good dose of motivation though to start genuinely trying again, if I get denied I get denied, like you said treat it like a video game, you die, you respawn, and try again.
Derek is out here dropping knowledge, doing it for his fellow man. Respect to you sir and a moment of silence for those who’ve gotten destroyed attempting the cold approach…
I went through this phase in my early 20s and I'm past this too but I'm grateful I did this because doing this while your young will permanently change your demeanor and social confidence pretty much forever like learning the piano or coding or language.
I actually cant even think of just randomly approaching a girl and asking her out too much for me, like if my other friends introduce girls to me its not as awkward or even my friends(girls) but approaching a stranger and and then going for her number? Hell no
This is such a wise perspective. I started watching this channel because of the information on PEDs but Derek is a solid human being with insight and depth that should be valued. Great stuff, man. Keep it up.
I once approached a girl in highschool for the first time who was in my class and we talked for about a week during the class. One day one of her female friends comes up during lunch and aggressively confronted me in front of all of my friends that the girl had a boyfriend and didn't want to talk to me. Somewhat traumatic but I did get more comfortable talking to girls after that, so good practice I guess.
I feel like things like this are why most guys (me included) are still “scared” to flirt with girls or just let them know your interested in them. I mean that, and the basic uncomfortable feeling of a standard rejection
Ah man once I spent a month working up the courage to ask the girl I like out, she said yes but 30mins later texted me she changed her mind, it fuckng broke me, I couldn't even talk to retail workers for years after... I got therapy but I'm still not over it really. Gonna have to try cold opens after this lol.
So according to my math if I wanna get a date at the gym I need to be able to lift all the plates the place has. Then girls will approach me and say can we use some.
Bro, I'm glad you said it. Not everyone transitions into the next part of their lives like society wants them to, but you were the one person who told the truth about relationships. I appreciate your honesty.
@@authorbhattacharjee4957 In hindsight it's a little sad, at the time I was a little embarrased but mainly proud that I did it! It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders!
Yeah, the first time I approached a girl outside of school, work etc. I basically, introduced myself, shook her hand, said it was nice to meet you. Stood there awkwardly, and then walked away without saying a word. She ended up being into to me, but I walked away with noodle legs lmao.
@@TTInfiniteGaming You're lacking empathy. it's not 100% clear if he's joking but any normal person who understands the language in text form can make a good guess. You're just being an ass for the sake of it on the internet. I'm gonna assume you get bullied or have shitty friends.
Derek: 'I was into PUA before I got into bodybuilding' Derek: shows video of first cold approach also Derek: has guns the size of trees and looks like 250lbs muscles in the video
This video inspired me to do my first cold approach yesterday. We hit it off, I got her number and we texted a bit after. Next day she texted me that she wasn’t interested. LETS FUCKING GO BOYS FIRST REJECTION!
This is awesome. I always tell people (especially sales people) to record themselves. It’s crazy how unaware people are sometimes. But honestly the only way to get more comfortable in those situations is repetition so good for you Derek for forcing yourself into those awkward spaces. Everyone’s baseline is different as far as how comfortable they are with face-to-face interaction but even the most relaxed speakers can learn a lot from watching them selves on tape. A lot of times your body language is giving off a vibe that you’re not intending to give off but you have to be able to see it to fix it.
This is becoming one of my favorite channels. So much good information on a variety of topics and yes, good on Derek for having the balls to show us this video.
This is quality, respect for posting man. I remember my first time getting numbers and it wasn’t bad, just couldn’t finesse the text/call game at the time
Listen to this man, as a 35 year old virgin I wish we had youtube channels like this when I was in my 20's. Now obviously I have bigger issues then this with the way things are. But stuff like this is very important, probably even more for most guys who aren't aspie's. As is his hairloss content. Good vid man.
@@Diego-zl8xr he’s a fan of Huey Lewis and the News. Their early work was a little too new wave for his tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, he thinks they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but Patrick thinks Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Derek I loved this video it made me so nostalgic! You know when I think about it, it was the PUA scene that set me on the path to self improvement. The girls were still important but for the first time I realised I had to work on my confidence/self esteem, looks & physique and lifeskills and knowledge etc Real Social Dynamics were the guys I followed!
I never had to approach a man to ask him out, and I'm almost envious of you that you got to go through this rite of passage. It's amazing to see you just barrel through something you're afraid of. Recently I've been trying to slowly expose myself to my fears, and I've found that there are so many little things that I avoided out of fear: making direct eye contact with people who intimidate me has been very cool.
at the end of our lives we regret the things that we could do but we chose not to, out of fear may be or to stay on the safe side . we usually don't regret things we did already. I don't see anything wrong that a woman approaches a man and take the first step.
This video is so well timed for me, just started college and I relate to needing to go through this phase and gain some more experience with cold approaches and talking to women (and people in general)
Good on you. Everyone starts from somewhere with anything in life. Social skills is just another muscle to train which involves practicing and failing then learning from it
Thanks for this, Ive started my first semester at college and yet I’ve met no one. I don’t even have a roommate so I haven’t even had help or company. You made me realize the importance of putting myself out there even if I dont want to.
@@kingdomgaming2306 just be social and friendly to people around you. 90% of the battle is being aware that you gotta make these changes. The same girls are always going to be around. Do don't ask them out. Be friends, hang out, have sex as friends. Having a gf in college is the dumbest thing to do
So true dude. Went through the pickup phase too. Learned a lot about myself and social interaction/social awareness/intelligence. Learned a lot about how my negative perception of myself was a choice and not truth. And had a lot of fun in that process too. Those highs are crazy. Would not be the guy I am today if never did that. Now I’m just my natural self, if I see someone I’m interested in I walk up. That’s how ya should be, man shit. Go for what ya want
Hey man i would appreciate if you could devote your time to more content regarding cold approaching,dating apps, and building high quality relationships. Great video man.
I've been practicing my cold approach after watching your videos and just after the first one I did I have already felt much more confident in myself talking to random girls. My friends give me shit for it but the truth is most people are too scared to face the potential rejection of cold approaching (it definitely happens)
Damn, this video spoke to me on a deep level. I had zero experience at all with women till I was 22, then started hooking up with and eventually dating a super hot chick who approached me first. I let her disrespect me because I was weak and she ended up leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about. It hurt like a bitch, but it took that slap to the face to wake me up. I'm 23 now and just getting started with this phase of my life, trying to level myself up. Will try to find a wingman based on your advice too. Thank you for making this video. Just curious, how old were you during this first cold approach?
22 seems to be the common age most guys start. Nearly all crash and give up after a short while. Only for a few rare guys to get back into it 5years later or so. Don't be that guy. Fully commit. There's light at the end of the tunnel
Dude....this content is great man. I'm here because of the sick hair loss prevention tips and then I found this gem of a video. You have a great take on why PUA is important for male development also the pitfalls that can be counter productive. Great video
I don't know what's a worse fate being the girl who has to endure these random bad approaches or being the guy who has to do them to get laid. Why is life so difficult?
Cold approaches are amazing and frightening at the same time. The experience from it is totally worth it, you guys should try it 2-3 times a day if you want to just get better at meeting people
I never cold approached with a friend. Always alone. It got fun after the first few and almost like a game. I had good success after just a few so that helped my confidence in life. Not to say there wasn’t goof ball embarrassments. But honestly even the total failures helped in a way because I knew that I was doing something most guys could never do. So if your reading this, just put on a good looking outfit, brush your teeth, head to target and pick one out of the heard. I would recommend doing a little pre flirting like catching some eye contact first. Then just walk up and introduce yourself, give her a compliment on something she obviously put work into (hair, nails, a piece of jewelry) avoid creepy shit like complimenting her body right away. Just say you thought she was really cute and you would kick yourself if you didn’t say something, but… I’m kinda in a hurry so we’ll talk again soon.
P. M lmao omg the cruising days. I remember when the first friend from our group got a car. We went from talking to them in the arcade to cruising in his old SUV lol
I work in door to door sales and its a similar thing- you want to be conversational, show you're human, show or even pretend the deal won't make you or break you(body language, shrugging, relaxed tone) Humor helps but don't force it. Ask questions / steer conversations about themselves, famous quote "talk to a (wo)man about themselves and they can talk for hours. Whoever talks the most in a conversation feels like they had the better conversation. Don't come off desperate is the main absolute killer. It's not what you're saying but how you're saying it. Think how you would react to your approach if you were the other person. This is key to not come off as cringe. Record your approach or in his case have a friend record and critique and adapt it. Practice is how you get more comfortable, and comfortability is how you ultimately have success. Assume the sale, so in this case assume she already wants you to have her number, and she likely will. Does NOT mean she will answer if you don't build value in yourself during the conversation. I'm scared to death to approach women but I'm top 3 nationwide in sales with my company and I'm seeing parallels/ similarities with this video.
Man, you are reviewing your story and I'm here all anxious smh. Like many have said already lots of respect for sharing such an intimate process of growth with EVERYONE. I have my fair share of these interactions, and my friends refuse to EVER put them behind. Maybe, next time I should pull this move and bring this decade old topic at the holiday dinner table.
KingLouie retard. I haven’t watched porn in many months. Jerk off maybe once a week. It doesn’t matter you coping subhuman. Do you thing normal people and chads have to devise a plan not to touch their dick to get girls? NO LOL. I’m jacked and don’t watch porn and it’s the same as when I was fat and and coomed to porn daily. If you are ugly/ short/ autistic it doesn’t fucking matter what you do. IT IS OOOOOVVVVER
Did this 3 years ago, I’m fit with a great body now but still short and retarded so still no luck with women. I lasted almost a year on NoFap was well lol
The ladies weren't ready for More Dishes More Bishes back then
underrated comment
😂😂😂😂💀
Sharpe!! Why are u here, you already get ladies..
Lmao
I have a done with a face full of acne and acne scars.
This is why I love Derek. He criticizes himself and then asks himself to give himself a break
lmfao
Epitome of humility
Shawn what does PUA mean?
@@lukaswilliams5851 pickup artist
@@daking9911 thanks. Been wondering for a few weeks. No one gets back to me
Now I'm going to get endless "make women chase you" ads after clicking on this vid
Probably some mature women wanting to hookup too
Gently used Milf’s in your area.
I moved and she's still in my 3km area, she must really love me if she moved with me :o
@@ufchighlights1 "GENTLY"
I just got one lmaoo
this guy is practically my dad at this point lol, helped me grow so much.
The older brother I never had
@@micdan8000 Facts
You definitely will make him old now
It's nice having a real dad.
man some of ya are weird af. don’t find your role models online homie
We laughed. We cringed. Thank you for this Derek. Salute.
I literally had to stop the video every few seconds, fuck.
I'm cringing so bad I don't want to watch it
God is good
if you cringed you probably never did an approach, so you're a loser and have no right to cringe or laugh
it's absolutely normal to have your first approach be awkward af but it's admirable for the courage
@@cvspvr alright, I get your point, but it didn't make me cringe at all. more like "respect"
What i like most about derek is his authenticity and honesty. it takes huge balls to upload this too. good job
Thank you
This is actually how he built his huge balls. They might even rival his deltoids ;-)
@@DrummerMC we're all assuming you mean either in your mouth or slapping against your chin Marcus you sicko!!!!
@@hicks1666 amen hicks you tell him
@@MorePlatesMoreDates straight up moon face lol but look at you now! Never Dirty bulk again!!!
Cold approaching while fat is the Spartan Run of dating
Lmfao this is great
@Chris McStoots your just making it hard on yourself for no reason get your shit together.
@Chris McStoots Bro you're running pickup on hard mode lol. turn the difficulty down
@Chris McStoots I lost like 60 lbs and my life got much much easier. It's crazy how much difference it makes for you. I feel like my personality even changed too, where a lot of the traits I didn't like about myself just sort of melted away as I began to actually take pride in what I look like. Keep at it bro. The grass is so much greener on the other side
@Conway's Glider 🙏🏻
*casually talking to a girl*
Derek: I was going through exposure therapy
120mg only tho. Theraputic dose
It’s something else when you’re not used to approaching girls you never met before
You should of left a time stamp. Didn't realize he actually said that. Still found it funny tho. 6:15
Must be a chad thing
LMFAO
I literally went through this phase with my best friend in middle school.
Gosh damn I miss him.
Rest In Peace, Logan.
I found the girl of my dreams.
Hey bro, my condolences 💐
@@MrIceCreamBR Thank you man
You got a angel looking after you now, make him proud.
Idk If he was still around when you met your girl...but I bet hed be proud man!
May he rest in peace, I'm sure he'd be proud of who you are today!
Cold approach is hard because most guys are too in their heads. Especially if you're in your early 20s, you don't have the body you want, or the money or the success/experience in life, so it just builds up and you think you're not good enough.
This hits home man. From someone in his late 20s with now a lot of experience. Well noted
Yup, I'm glad I started to talk with with girls when I was a teenager. Later you start, harder it gets.
so true i used to think i had to be successful to be able to be good enough to talk to girls. The more you talk to girl the more you realize they think the same way.
So that’s why I’ve never approached a girl and I’m almost 20🤣
@@klatey do did i, because i dóbr feel i need one yet
5:45 "I've also had a problem with my over developed shoulders"
I wish I had this problem derek.
@RaniaIsAwesome did you even hear what his problem was?
it happens when your pushing and pulling strength aren't balanced. If your pushing strength is too strong, you might lean forward.
I am wondering if I have this problem because my shoulders are very rounded but it’s probably just normal bad posture.
actually leads to back issues though. as someone already said having balanced pushing and pulling muscles is actually better for your health even if the Delts do seem to have some weird vagina attracting gravity to them lol
Not when it comes with backpain
Squat til I puke? Sign me up! Approach a girl at the mall? Maybe another day lmao my mind in a nutshell
haha nice
Hah nice my anxiety is harder than a leg day
Truuuu
Approaching someone is really no big deal, in my opinion set aside looks and all that and look at the situation objectively. Most guys are just afraid of looking like an idiot in front of a girl they like, or anyone period, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's a concern that any considerate person with common sense would have.
However, if you're a guy having trouble approaching girls, the best advice I can give you in a situational sense it to put yourself in situations where approaching a girl is normal, a situation where it's not blatantly obvious that the only reason you're approaching them is to ask for a date. The reason for this is that people are a lot more comfortable in an environment where they share like interests, like interests are the foundation of friendships, and friendships are the foundation to relationships, friends with benefits, what have you, but especially long term relationships where compatibility is key.
For instance if you like a certain type of music, go to a respective venue, rather it be a concert, a festival, what have you. If you're interested in a new line of work, try your hand at doing different lines or work, if you're interested in studying something in specific join a study group, join a facebook group related to whatever it is you're most interested in. Find girls that you actually have something in common with instead of blindly approaching people, be selective enough to choose how you spend your time and energy when it comes to hobbies as well as approaching women.
A lot of men are just desperate and try the volume approach, which usually ends up being a waste of time unless they have several things working in their favor as well as luck depending on what it is they're looking for. A lot of men undervalue themselves and don't even realize how selective they can be, thus choose the volume / cold approach, the problem is even if it does get you dates,sex,whatever the chances that you have anything in common with the person is a crap shoot. The volume approach can desensitize you to to the anxiety that comes from approaching women, but to be honest it's an ass backwards approach, focus on your life, knowing your own value, putting yourself in situations where you're not at a loss for words, and have some ground to stand on to begin with, in situations where it's "normal" to do exactly what you want to do and know what the right thing to do is and you'll realize there is nothing to be overtly anxious about to begin with. (this may require hard work and a large amount of learning)
I know things are different from individual to individual, but what it's really about is understanding life and having enough courage to do what you want to do. If you understand yourself and other people well enough, it very wall can be 1 number and you've got a date. In my opinion it's a more healthy practice for young men to focus on how they are living their life, studying human nature and being an authentic person and other things which require courage and understanding, instead of just spamming cold approaches and desensitizing themselves. From the moment we are born until the moment we die there are gonna be situations that make us anxious as people, it's not about not being anxious, what life is about is what we choose to do as individuals and why, in the face of the fact we are wildy unique individuals with different problems and different things going for us, all whilst essentially wanting the same things. People have to find their own way. I was born with a potentially terminal illness, and all my life I dealt with anxiety especially around girls until I was in my early 20's, what happened with me was I had some near death experiences that led me to take a serious look at how I'm living my life and make changes. After that, even though I may still feel some awkwardness or anxiety in some social situations, it's never anything compared to some of the other things I've been through.
I think it's important for people to really experience life to it's fullest and learn everything they can to be ready for life in general, before just assuming they need to date someone. When someone special is around, you'll know it and even then don't put them on a pedestal, find out the right way to Live YOUR life and do so with confidence, relationships and other secondary things come with ease when you put yourself in the right place. If you chase something bigger than the opposite sex, 9/10 the opposite sex will end up chasing you because they'll be able to see that you're not like 90% of desperate people, you still have to know how to assess situations and seal the deal though lol
@@tylernichols3252 good advice
Derek today:
>walks outside
>too much of a hot and bright day
>delts block the sun
>all the girls hide under the shade
MISSION PASSED
lol
Lmfao
respect +
Are you conflict wave from instagram
HeavenlyKing yes lol
Made me feel better about myself, I have really bad social anxiety and seeing someone like you be about as awkward as I am is oddly comforting
The difference is genetics
If you’re awkward but are tall and good looking then it’s cute
If you’re short and bald then you can only pay for sex
@@bloopy6166 oh don't come here with that blackpilled shit, my buddy is like 5`4 and under average and he's getting mad pussy lol. guy is always cheerful, puts his linguistic skills to use (he's part italian) and does his best to appear interesting and confident. meanwhile i'm here at 5`11 with above average looks watching this video. attitude and mindset can truly carry you dude
@@bloopy6166 sounds like George kastanza
@@daitosf5537 it’s me, My parents are the only reason I’m still here. When they die I’m going to paint my ceiling red
@@bloopy6166 bro you good?
10 years ago in my early army days(19 years old) whenever i was home on leave, we’d hit the local mall and do this. We’d give each other something to say and turned it into a competition. Normally silly things like, “compliment her ears” or something about how nice the stars are even though it’s noon and indoors. They made me compliment a cop on his toes and as if I could see them. He wasn’t happy. But I’ve always been introverted and it really helped me to come out of my shell.
Thank you for the laugh Coke and Hookers
How you been now
@@brotherjoll1802 I have no issues initiating conversations or anything like that anymore. I’m not a fan of crowds or even talking when in crowds, military could be partly to blame for that social anxiety. But one in one I have absolutely no issues at all. At 30 years old now I just focus on myself though.
One of the easiest ways to strike up a conversation with a random girl is to comment on her outfit
One of my simple go to lines is "hey I like your shoes"....if she looks at you and smiles it's a wrap.
I worked with a chick on a Nightshift once, didn't get the chance to talk too much but I liked her. I ended up on the same shift as her a few weeks later. She was contracted in from a nursing Agency, so I may have never seen her again. I took the plunge, gave her my number (I've never gave anyone my number before, guess that doesn't happen so much these days with social media). 3 years later we're living together and expecting a baby.
You never know what can happen when you grow a set of balls and just go talk to her.
Wow congratulations. Life is full of surprises.
Wow. Congrats, brother
Damn congrats
Just like that? Can you give her my number?
I grew a pair and got rejected, but it wasn't so bad lol. I actually felt more confident afterwards and it became easier and easier
I'm breaking a cold sweat watching this
Sgt. Frank BAHAHAHA same
Lolololol
Same lmfao
Me to but probably because im taking a really bad diarrhea
Same😂🤣
From moon face to chad in 7 years.
Johnny bravo
From moon face to moon man
@@MMAchad96 lol
From steal your food to steal your girl
Natural growth
The level of humility your exercising in this video is truly commendable. I'm addicted to the blatant honesty of all your videos regardless of the subject matter. Don't ever change man and keep doing what your doing!!!
You know dereks serious when he puts the boulders away.
He truly has balls to put this video, mad respect my dude
Let's see a modern reboot of a pickup series Derek!
@Kamikaze Gorilla Yeah, but how are you gonna get laid if you meet people in real life?
Try not to get cancelled edition!
Its 100x easier to pick up girls when ur with your friends. Its almost like you have to show off to them and it gives you a reason to keep the conversation short.
For real tho ha ha ha
Its more like: i have an excuse that if i get too nervous or run out of things to say
Spot on
This is reversed for me
True. My game gets a power up even if I have 1 friend there.
Imagine you're in the mall and you see two bulked up bodybuilders awkwardly filming eachother whilst talking to girls 😂
As a woman, I absolutely agree. I met my husband in a club. He approched me and was very nice and the conversation was so easy. He used to do cold approaches a lot when before meeting me, to learn how to talk to women and people general. Very practical for job interviews as well.
@WNC HikeStrong i think so too.
@WNC HikeStrong 🤣🤣🤣
Hey Anna, I’m Steve. Wanna go on a date?
Wtf are these replies, lmao.
@@kita7647 They’re mainly jokes. If you don’t get that, check your IQ.
dang derek you are unrecognisable, longer hair looks good on you man
"Talk to people like you should be able to talk to them, like humans" This is so true, any girl, or your boss, or the CEO... They are just flawed human beigns like everyone of us.
Tell me about it you even spelled being wrong
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Cosmos ATOM cryptocurrency is the future. Expect $70+
We are human beans
I’d be afraid of talking to derek, imagine those huge delts just staring at you.
True. Everyone is a moron in their own way
My man looks so much younger now
Not really he looks older in a good way
How old is he?
@@technofeeling2462 30 probably.
@@yourmom705 Exactly, younger is not the right word
@@THEAVERAGETH-camR_-xs8ff he’s 28
Mad respect for doing this while bulking, I'd probably just say "hi" then start profusely perspiring, then eventually awkwardly fake laugh and run away.
queue the breathing hard also
This made me laugh hard af I started chokin after I hit my blunt
I just pull down my pants in front of a woman and tell her to walk away so I can take a shit peacefully and question my life decisions
W rizz
😂
Derek is the big brother we all didn’t know we needed
Wow that's a good friend you had there. Wish I had friends like that in my life.
Where are you based? I feel the same way....! Lets do this?!
@@rayblade6383 washington state lol
Did yall link?
@@Ahmedd105 Nope. Never heard from that sexy beast again. I hope he's out there slaying.
@@yeti2237 awe damn washington state? I'm in moses lake not that I want to pick up chicks with you lmao
I agree with the whole “you need to go through this phase so you don’t put your first serious girl on a pedestal.” I started going hard with dating apps in high school to build some confidence in myself, and got denied a lot, had some success but never actually had sex with any of the girls. I quickly found a girl that I actually liked and just stuck with her. And while she was cool and didn’t pull any bullshit, when I broke up with her 2 years later it was fine at first but then it crushed me months after when I got this idea in my head that I couldn’t do any better. And now I’ve been stuck in this mental rut for the last 5 years almost.
Mind you I’ve got other life issues that have held me back but the thoughts of her still haunt me. This video has given me a good dose of motivation though to start genuinely trying again, if I get denied I get denied, like you said treat it like a video game, you die, you respawn, and try again.
you wouldnt shoot a man with glasses would you?!
Why did you break up? If you don’t mind me asking
@@ChinkRoy :( creatures
@@123455866201Aaron Feels bad man...
Thats a profile pic i havent seen in a looooooooooooooooooonnnggggg time
Derek is out here dropping knowledge, doing it for his fellow man. Respect to you sir and a moment of silence for those who’ve gotten destroyed attempting the cold approach…
I went through this phase in my early 20s and I'm past this too but I'm grateful I did this because doing this while your young will permanently change your demeanor and social confidence pretty much forever like learning the piano or coding or language.
Ya I guess even if you fail at cold approach. You're social confidence becomes 5x more than it would've been
It takes A LOT of courage to show a video like this one! Thanks for posting so we can learn together!
Make another cold approach video if this video does well :D
Yea this was great
Stranger Danger After seeing this vid I almost wanna change My own content from fitness to approaching chicks🤣
@@MagnusBulkan you should try it lol I'll even sub if you do it
Eraxz SOLD HAHA👊🏼😂
Magnus Bulkan the younger u start the better bro, just subbed as well, good luck with it all!
it's so apparent he has more confidence and feels better about himself nowadays, glad he got over this phase
everyone probably has the same cringe smile watching this haha.
True lmao I’ve approached a few girls in high school but they were dares lmao
I actually cant even think of just randomly approaching a girl and asking her out too much for me, like if my other friends introduce girls to me its not as awkward or even my friends(girls) but approaching a stranger and and then going for her number? Hell no
@@Ahmedd105 niye la
Yeah dude hahaha
Yeah, I held my breath from time to time dealing with the cringe.
This is such a wise perspective. I started watching this channel because of the information on PEDs but Derek is a solid human being with insight and depth that should be valued. Great stuff, man. Keep it up.
I once approached a girl in highschool for the first time who was in my class and we talked for about a week during the class. One day one of her female friends comes up during lunch and aggressively confronted me in front of all of my friends that the girl had a boyfriend and didn't want to talk to me. Somewhat traumatic but I did get more comfortable talking to girls after that, so good practice I guess.
wtf
the other girl probably liked you
I feel like things like this are why most guys (me included) are still “scared” to flirt with girls or just let them know your interested in them. I mean that, and the basic uncomfortable feeling of a standard rejection
Ah man once I spent a month working up the courage to ask the girl I like out, she said yes but 30mins later texted me she changed her mind, it fuckng broke me, I couldn't even talk to retail workers for years after... I got therapy but I'm still not over it really. Gonna have to try cold opens after this lol.
you bounced back pretty well from that- that might have traumatised me
So according to my math if I wanna get a date at the gym I need to be able to lift all the plates the place has. Then girls will approach me and say can we use some.
Bro, I'm glad you said it. Not everyone transitions into the next part of their lives like society wants them to, but you were the one person who told the truth about relationships. I appreciate your honesty.
Wow, that wasn't so bad. My first approach the girl ran away.
Sad
But funny
@@authorbhattacharjee4957 In hindsight it's a little sad, at the time I was a little embarrased but mainly proud that I did it! It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders!
Yeah, the first time I approached a girl outside of school, work etc. I basically, introduced myself, shook her hand, said it was nice to meet you. Stood there awkwardly, and then walked away without saying a word. She ended up being into to me, but I walked away with noodle legs lmao.
@@AthenaGate That doesn't sound too bad, at least you did it!
@@jerryr2844 just approach other girls g. not rocket science
Nicely done King
Keep up the 🔥 bro
cant believe u watch derik
Great points - What I learnt going though this phase is that no one is out of your league. It's about confidence and the connection.
Let’s hit up the mall and score some numbers and get fitted for the weekend lol
@Jhon D bro I hope you know you're fucking stupid.
@@TTInfiniteGaming he is joking chill !!
@@khalidibrahim5298 maybe he is maybe he isn’t. no clear indication.
@@TTInfiniteGaming You're lacking empathy. it's not 100% clear if he's joking but any normal person who understands the language in text form can make a good guess. You're just being an ass for the sake of it on the internet. I'm gonna assume you get bullied or have shitty friends.
@@danielstacey7785 don't care bro
Lmaoo the use of vocabulary exposure therapy “my first dose” 💀💀
What a genuine dude, the world needs more people like you Derek
Derek: 'I was into PUA before I got into bodybuilding'
Derek: shows video of first cold approach
also Derek: has guns the size of trees and looks like 250lbs muscles in the video
He was bulking lol he’s literally bn working out in the video bruva
This video inspired me to do my first cold approach yesterday. We hit it off, I got her number and we texted a bit after. Next day she texted me that she wasn’t interested. LETS FUCKING GO BOYS FIRST REJECTION!
Doesnt matter eventually it takes no effort and you meet 15 girls a day
Hey I'm curious how did you approach her and what did you say ? Btw don't worry you'll get it eventually it's a numbers game.
🤜🏼
I love Derek's grin when he's embarrassed 🤣🤣
I love derek
Aye bro those puma shoes were a classic hahahaha, they were the shit back in the day
Pro tip: do not try on girls you know. Think about risk/profit ratio
This is awesome. I always tell people (especially sales people) to record themselves. It’s crazy how unaware people are sometimes. But honestly the only way to get more comfortable in those situations is repetition so good for you Derek for forcing yourself into those awkward spaces. Everyone’s baseline is different as far as how comfortable they are with face-to-face interaction but even the most relaxed speakers can learn a lot from watching them selves on tape. A lot of times your body language is giving off a vibe that you’re not intending to give off but you have to be able to see it to fix it.
More vids like this please, just a few. Subbed for bodybuilding but this super relatable
This is becoming one of my favorite channels. So much good information on a variety of topics and yes, good on Derek for having the balls to show us this video.
Hey Derek, I come back to your channel every once and a while and your hair and skin keep getting better and better, keep it up!
I would love to see more of the dating/cold approach content if possible
So cool for someone to post such an honest look at things, it’s honestly so helpful
“ can’t talk to the opposite sex without half a liter of vodka in your stomach” shit bro why’d you come at me like that
Never knew the origin of the channel, it's crazy how life changes us
Looks just like me back in the day, then I turned 21 and discovered after 3 or 4 beers in the club my game became legendary. Lol
Alcohol is a cheat code tho...
@@albertweedsteinthethuggeni7797 So you picked up girls after ingesting the chemical equivalent of meth? Nice
@@starmorpheus Real nigga shit right there
I don't even know how I do it when I drink its like a superpower
@@nickpatry4491 cause she is drunk too don't cate
This is quality, respect for posting man. I remember my first time getting numbers and it wasn’t bad, just couldn’t finesse the text/call game at the time
I really like and appreciate Derek's material because he's so down to earth and human about everything
Listen to this man, as a 35 year old virgin I wish we had youtube channels like this when I was in my 20's. Now obviously I have bigger issues then this with the way things are. But stuff like this is very important, probably even more for most guys who aren't aspie's. As is his hairloss content. Good vid man.
Check out Andy from kill your inner loser
It’s like GLL
Ok, now let's see Derek's cold approach video
Impressive, very nice.
Let’s see Paul Allen’s confession
are u looksmaxed?
@@Diego-zl8xr he’s a fan of Huey Lewis and the News. Their early work was a little too new wave for his tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, he thinks they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but Patrick thinks Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Derek I loved this video it made me so nostalgic! You know when I think about it, it was the PUA scene that set me on the path to self improvement. The girls were still important but for the first time I realised I had to work on my confidence/self esteem, looks & physique and lifeskills and knowledge etc Real Social Dynamics were the guys I followed!
I never had to approach a man to ask him out, and I'm almost envious of you that you got to go through this rite of passage. It's amazing to see you just barrel through something you're afraid of. Recently I've been trying to slowly expose myself to my fears, and I've found that there are so many little things that I avoided out of fear: making direct eye contact with people who intimidate me has been very cool.
at the end of our lives we regret the things that we could do but we chose not to, out of fear may be or to stay on the safe side .
we usually don't regret things we did already.
I don't see anything wrong that a woman approaches a man and take the first step.
Her posture says “I have a boyfriend”
This video is so well timed for me, just started college and I relate to needing to go through this phase and gain some more experience with cold approaches and talking to women (and people in general)
Good on you. Everyone starts from somewhere with anything in life. Social skills is just another muscle to train which involves practicing and failing then learning from it
2020
Me: can i get your number?
Her: How much clout do you have?
Mike That is so true
Officialinsideman not true at all women don't care about that you're just insecure and can't talk to girls
I’m a very good looking guy and while being a goofy loser I can tell you that’s kinda true. Gotta try though anyway man.
Also you: Looking for girls at a club called douchebag central
what a shocker
Underrated comment
My man! I have been meaning to watch this for a while. I'm glad I got around to it. Had the largest smile on my face the whole video. Thanks Derek
Thanks for this, Ive started my first semester at college and yet I’ve met no one. I don’t even have a roommate so I haven’t even had help or company. You made me realize the importance of putting myself out there even if I dont want to.
More dates=more plates
@@kingdomgaming2306 just be social and friendly to people around you. 90% of the battle is being aware that you gotta make these changes. The same girls are always going to be around. Do don't ask them out. Be friends, hang out, have sex as friends. Having a gf in college is the dumbest thing to do
@@smp2496 Strong disagree, one night stands are overrated. Get a girlfriend, or don't. Having a girlfriend is never a dumb thing.
And a year later, what now?
@@smp2496 qqqq%v
love the honesty on your self reflection
So true dude. Went through the pickup phase too. Learned a lot about myself and social interaction/social awareness/intelligence. Learned a lot about how my negative perception of myself was a choice and not truth. And had a lot of fun in that process too. Those highs are crazy. Would not be the guy I am today if never did that. Now I’m just my natural self, if I see someone I’m interested in I walk up. That’s how ya should be, man shit. Go for what ya want
Hey man i would appreciate if you could devote your time to more content regarding cold approaching,dating apps, and building high quality relationships. Great video man.
The prophet, the genius : Patrice O'Neil (rip) is who you need to listen to, hundreds of hours of therapy for men.
@@IJoAnZI thanks for the recommendation man.
Yes please!!
Derek's face looking 2 years fresh out the womb. Definitely not the giga-chad we know now lmao
Derek is the older brother I never had. life lesson out the ass😂
Cold approach is the best way to learn. Sales made me a better person and you learn empathy and EQ super fast.
I've been practicing my cold approach after watching your videos and just after the first one I did I have already felt much more confident in myself talking to random girls. My friends give me shit for it but the truth is most people are too scared to face the potential rejection of cold approaching (it definitely happens)
Facts
love listening to you and your life stories, your podcast are awesome as well
Damn, this video spoke to me on a deep level. I had zero experience at all with women till I was 22, then started hooking up with and eventually dating a super hot chick who approached me first. I let her disrespect me because I was weak and she ended up leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about. It hurt like a bitch, but it took that slap to the face to wake me up.
I'm 23 now and just getting started with this phase of my life, trying to level myself up. Will try to find a wingman based on your advice too. Thank you for making this video. Just curious, how old were you during this first cold approach?
22 seems to be the common age most guys start. Nearly all crash and give up after a short while. Only for a few rare guys to get back into it 5years later or so. Don't be that guy. Fully commit. There's light at the end of the tunnel
SMP that’s late bloomer status. Like guys who were odd and awkward at a young age. Most men start around 15.
@Major Damage 99 percent never start XD
Did you manage to have sex with her even though she disrespected you?
Dude....this content is great man. I'm here because of the sick hair loss prevention tips and then I found this gem of a video. You have a great take on why PUA is important for male development also the pitfalls that can be counter productive. Great video
I don't know what's a worse fate being the girl who has to endure these random bad approaches or being the guy who has to do them to get laid. Why is life so difficult?
pay the cost to be the boss
I'm disappointed the delts aren't showing in this one. It's half of what i watch in his vids lol
This is so cringy 😂 but definitely great for development
I can’t imagine how painful it must be to watch this. Respect for putting it on YT.
I love how honest you are about your past self
Derik is the bomb. He talks with his audience rather than to you, or at you
Cold approaches are amazing and frightening at the same time. The experience from it is totally worth it, you guys should try it 2-3 times a day if you want to just get better at meeting people
Maaan. That pocket, had me laughing 🤣🤣🤣
Derek your hair is looking good. It's in a whole new level
Really respect your ability to put this out there, definitely said some stuff I needed to hear while Im still in my 20s
I never cold approached with a friend. Always alone. It got fun after the first few and almost like a game. I had good success after just a few so that helped my confidence in life. Not to say there wasn’t goof ball embarrassments. But honestly even the total failures helped in a way because I knew that I was doing something most guys could never do. So if your reading this, just put on a good looking outfit, brush your teeth, head to target and pick one out of the heard. I would recommend doing a little pre flirting like catching some eye contact first. Then just walk up and introduce yourself, give her a compliment on something she obviously put work into (hair, nails, a piece of jewelry) avoid creepy shit like complimenting her body right away. Just say you thought she was really cute and you would kick yourself if you didn’t say something, but… I’m kinda in a hurry so we’ll talk again soon.
That was the internet/facebook/IG= the mall. Ditch parties, cruising.Shit was the best in the 90s and prob early 2k. And im sure the 80s as well.
P. M lmao omg the cruising days. I remember when the first friend from our group got a car. We went from talking to them in the arcade to cruising in his old SUV lol
Derek's hair is thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.
👈👈👀
The House of Knives sign in the back really contributed to the atmosphere 😂
I work in door to door sales and its a similar thing-
you want to be conversational, show you're human, show or even pretend the deal won't make you or break you(body language, shrugging, relaxed tone) Humor helps but don't force it. Ask questions / steer conversations about themselves, famous quote "talk to a (wo)man about themselves and they can talk for hours. Whoever talks the most in a conversation feels like they had the better conversation.
Don't come off desperate is the main absolute killer. It's not what you're saying but how you're saying it. Think how you would react to your approach if you were the other person. This is key to not come off as cringe. Record your approach or in his case have a friend record and critique and adapt it. Practice is how you get more comfortable, and comfortability is how you ultimately have success. Assume the sale, so in this case assume she already wants you to have her number, and she likely will. Does NOT mean she will answer if you don't build value in yourself during the conversation.
I'm scared to death to approach women but I'm top 3 nationwide in sales with my company and I'm seeing parallels/ similarities with this video.
Man, you are reviewing your story and I'm here all anxious smh. Like many have said already lots of respect for sharing such an intimate process of growth with EVERYONE. I have my fair share of these interactions, and my friends refuse to EVER put them behind. Maybe, next time I should pull this move and bring this decade old topic at the holiday dinner table.
Stop watching P0RN and start lifting WEIGHTS!!!!
@the fuck? OK. Coomer
@the fuck? fukin owned
KingLouie retard. I haven’t watched porn in many months. Jerk off maybe once a week. It doesn’t matter you coping subhuman. Do you thing normal people and chads have to devise a plan not to touch their dick to get girls? NO LOL. I’m jacked and don’t watch porn and it’s the same as when I was fat and and coomed to porn daily. If you are ugly/ short/ autistic it doesn’t fucking matter what you do. IT IS OOOOOVVVVER
Did this 3 years ago, I’m fit with a great body now but still short and retarded so still no luck with women. I lasted almost a year on NoFap was well lol