five months with me with consistency and stuff and then tells me he's trying to figure his feelings out and tells me he doesn't want to waste anyone's time. He wasted 5 months, saying he's glad I'm serious and have no bullshit attitude, but he is bullshitting me....
Ladie stay away from inconsistent and inconsiderate men. When they really want you there will be no question. Don’t be gaslighted into the idea of having to give them space and be detached and cool with uncertainty. That doesn’t feel good because it’s not healthy!
agree....if you find yourself confused, then chances are something's not quite right. if he's really into you and being with you, then you won't have to guess what he's thinking or what his intentions are.
Social media has heightened this behavior on both sides. A man shows you who he is by his actions. You have to be strong enough to decide you are better than that and move on. It's better to be single and happy than miserable with someone who doesn't respect you.
Girl all you need is attention and love from Yourself. Needing it from external sources shows you are still in 3d, please go inward. Show attention to yourself, notice yourself, you have hidden secrets inside your soul, search them.
Basically: just bc someone showed interest for a time doesnt mean they owe you even more attention. Even though you start to expect it. Love this advice cos it took me ages to learn.
If I could be honest here... I feel like these male dating coaches give women advice instead of giving men advice on how to deal with their emotional unavailability and inability to manage relationships. They always forget attachment styles and how many men actually struggle to maintain connection. He's telling us that men should be self-sacrificial and basically idolize us, but Narcs do the same thing when pursing. I wish we would be more honest and give men and women advice how to be healthy instead of trying to navigate toxic behaviors. There are are alot of men and women who are avoidant and pull away because of their own emotional struggles.
I agree. I think it’s becoming more and more clear that we are not teaching men how to handle relationships properly and own their emotional maturity. Let’s face it, men are NOT taught how to navigate that and in turn end up treating their partners poorly. If everyone is reporting on the same thing then it’s an obvious pattern in society… On the flip side, women have to stop looking for men to validate them and learn to be a little more detached and not so quick to give their heart away to someone who gives them a bit of attention. The best way to navigate all this is to navigate yourself and not fall victim to this generic advice and understand these behaviors are unhealthy for everyone involved.
My 2c is that men are not looking for coaching the way women are. Women will pay someone who they think will help them find lasting relationships. Men won't.
So true. I was wiling to end it because of the guy's strange behavior. He told me he was interested & promised to improve. He did improve a little bit, at least he does not disappear for weekends anymore & informs me if he will be busy right ahead. I still have my doubts about his level of investment, so this video comes quite handy :)
Spot on! Thank you for validating my thoughts and actions. I’m always polite, mirror his level of interest, or lack, there of. No negative emotions, no entitlement. Simply disappointment and thinking about lessons learned. Trust is difficult at any age, especially at 70. Many years of experience in relationships of every genre has taught me to simply observe others and allow natural behavior unfold. I’m a free spirit and respect boundaries. I appreciate the same.
@@jessicamn4086 healthy partners will communicate that they're dealing with a lot before disappearing. You can try and be understanding, but if they never offer you an explanation for coming and going like that, you better demand one before getting in too deep with someone who can't have a healthy relationship.
I like how you say, it will happen to you too. So true. Both men and women pull away from time to time. Ups and downs. Doubts from time to time. Even may not feel “ready”. It’s human nature. In most cases. It doesn’t just happen to the man. Sometimes you just have to focus on life and yourself and let the other person mature (or not) and figure things out. If they r worth your investment. Then just be patient. Forgiving. And if u two have love and respect for each other, things will work out and you two will be together eventually. Everyone and everything can’t always be on the same page all at once in life. There may be separation pain and disappointment even. But if he is high value then be patient. He will come back around w eventually. Life has a way of “maturing us all up” over time. And we finally “realize” what we want and what is good in our lives and then “we r ready”...to move forward to the next level. But it has to come natural from his (or her) own feee will and heart. He will suddenly wake up one day and realize. I need this woman in my life. Her love. Her presence. Her aura. Her energy. Her care. Her shoulder. Her arms. Her ear. Her lips. Her scent. Her eyes. Her safety and understanding. Her partnership. Her friendship. Her heart. Her opinion. Her talents and abilities. Her tenderness. Her laughter. Her spirit. Her passion. HER. My baby. I need her I want her and her alone, and I don’t want to lose her or let her go to any other man. Then he will be ready. Sometimes it takes suffering pain and loss to come to our senses. Both men and women.
That's not an option for grey ace 🤷 we still deserve to be treated with dignity even if we can't master the art of romantic distraction. I don't think a battle of who can care less is necessarily the answer to the dumpster fire dating has become over the last ten years.
@@enarcmcfly it’s not who can care less, dating helps weed out the ones who are not right for you. Women make the mistake of waiting around and over investing on one man. This puts way too much pressure on him and usually pushes him away. Women need to keep their energy off of the man they like in order to allow HIM to step up and show interest. When women full on pursue or expect things it’s a big turn off. In dating no one owes anyone an explanation ever.
The thing is, if someone isn't contacting you anymore, or doesn't seem to want to do anything, that person has lost interest. Doesn't matter how much you might love someone, you can't force them to love you back. So when a guy or girl does this, it's time to move on. Life is too short to play games. If someone really likes you, or loves you, the last thing they will do, is keep you waiting, to go radio silent, too suddenly not seem to have time for you anymore. Someone that's really into you, will move heaven and earth to be with you. So if you're getting the silent treatment, it's more than likely time to move on. To me, that's a sign of disrespect. They are leaving you hanging, because they don't want to tell you the truth, that they aren't really interested anymore. Don't beg for another chance. If they already written you off, that's their loss, and you most likely dodge a bullet anyway. You're looking for the One, and you should never have to fight for the One's attention. They should want to be with you, as much as you want to be with them. Trust and Respect are the 2 most important things in any relationship. Once either of these are broken, your relationship is going down hill. Love is a 2 way street. Don't stay in a relationship, just because you love them, if they aren't giving back to you as much as you're giving them. Life is too short to be with someone that doesn't really love you. There is a reason why the Divorce rate is so high. Finding the One is harder than you think. IMO, you should find someone that likes the same things as you do. If you end up with someone where you always stay in different rooms of the house, because you don't like what your SO is doing, than imo, that's a problem. You should find someone that likes the same things. So you can do those things together. Because otherwise, if your not in the same room, what kind of relationship is that. Attraction is only going to carry you so far, after awhile, that might get old. If you can't stand being in the same room with each other, that doesn't sound like a good recipe for a good relationship.
@@lor5850 True, but does that really matter to the other person. You cut off contact, you have a person that's really interested in you. That's taking you seriously, and you can't handle it. It's not fair to the other person, they shouldn't have to put their life, and feelings on hold, when they have no idea why you won't talk to them, that you seem to never have time for them. There doesn't appear to be much difference between someone who doesn't care for you, and stops talking to you, then someone that cares too much, and can't handle talking to you. In both cases, that person has lost you in the relationship. It would be better for the other person to move on with their life, and find someone that's ready for a relationship. Maybe if you see that they are moving on, it will get you to make a decision, and overcome your issues, or maybe you'll lose out again. Either way, life is too short to be with someone who won't communicate in a relationship. Being with someone that has you constantly wondering if they care about you or not is not a good relationship to be in. Your love for someone alone, isn't enough reason to stay in a relationship. A relationship is a two way street. If something is stopping your from showing how you really feel about someone, it could be a sign, that they aren't the right person for you. Because you don't feel like you can trust your heart to them. There will always be some risk to your heart when your trying to build a relationship. Setup rules for yourself, to slow things down. So you have time to know how you feel. Just make sure the other person isn't let wondering if they are wasting their time or not. If they really like you, they will wait for you, but cutting them off, just tells them they are wasting their time. It takes time to build a real relationship, so make sure you both get the time needed to know if it's the real thing for both of you.
Maybe I won’t have another relationship, maybe I’ll jump the fence, maybe I’ll find a guy who likes me, and has emotional maturity…I’ve gotten to the point in my life where ghosting is an automatic move on. I don’t have time for that nonsense.
Where were you in the '60s and 70s when I was falling for narcissist types and getting my heart crushed. Oh, right! You weren't born yet. Your advice is great. I just wish I had gotten it 60 years ago!
I have been dealing with these feelings for the past week, and this video came at exatly the right time! Thank you. I needed to hear this. Detachment is so very hard for me, but it's a process. I'm getting better! It really helps to hear (again, lol) that it's normal, and it's ok to feel rejected, even though it may not be rejection. Thank you.
Specifically: if a man is getting off & the woman is not, his 'needs' are getting met and then she appears 'needy' if she asks for more... That's why women need to be careful. If it's ok for you as a woman to sleep with a guy and he is the only one climaxing, he is fulfilled yet eventually this may create 'need', expectation or even a neediness in the woman that the man starts to pull away or call out. Guys will leave if the woman appears 'too needy' yet not even realize both have needs that need fulfillment. That's often why if the guy can make the weekly calls, romance, share a card or find what fulfills her, the relationship may grow. Admit it: guys often only need '3 minutes of a woman's time'... He's all set. Women need to be hear & need to have space to speak up to what will bring them bliss. Women deserve more than 'a minute man'. ... just a perspective to think about.
How about pull away yourself or better yet, learn to love yourself or go find someone else. Maybe start helping kids in need or helping the elderly. Find love and hope in God, He will never pull away or keep you guessing. Find someone who understands this.
True. Find love inside your mind and heart. It isn't outside of you, people are learning this. Love and attention is inside, you can only get in from within. And it is always there.
thank you for confirming what I suspected. Watch the actions. Own your power by asking for what you want! If he doesn't respond then you have your clarity. Also what consoles me, that is not the way I want to be treated. Nor do I have *any* interest in immature game playing.
Tell what your intention is at the first place, so it will prevent the pain in the future. If you just want to have someone to be sleeping next to you, just tell them. If you want a relationship but isn't ready to commit, then tell them. Don't make someone believes that you love them if you don't mean it.
Exactly! Just tell us at the get go. We can take it! Don’t lead us to believe it is real then pull the rug out! 🤬 “weak” move, “weak”! It’s called teasing and it infuriates us ladies too!
@@hilo5901 , wow really? What language is that? I'm so honor an flatter to know about my name in other language. My late father said it means the apple of somebody's eyes.
You’ll be lucky to get that info out of them let alone if they’re seeing other people. Decide if their actions match their words and their overall vibe. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you or even be honest. Control your own destiny.
That’s kinda naive to say. Personally, I stopped explaining things to people or being too frank with people I just met : too many of them get in rage, react violently, or try to humiliate you. At some point, you just stop putting your energy into this kind of things. Anyways, when you go out a little bit, you start seeing snowflakes immediately. P.S. about people who are lying about loving you - those are manipulators, narcissists, predators etc etc when you learn, that horrible people exist, and are ready to harm, you’re kinda shocked at first, but then you kinda make peace with it and learn to discern them (with time it becomes easy, but you should stop trusting people too much).
Thank you for your wise words. I have been separated for 6 months and plan on giving myself a year to heal after a 30 year marriage. My ex jumped into dating 2 weeks after our separation. Beware of anyone who does not take time after a long term relationship to heal and self reflect. You will be taking on baggage that does not help create a healthy relationship. My goal is to have a happy and healthy life on my own before dating again.
So true. There was guy, 8 months divorced after a 15 year marriage . He swore he was done with his ex and said he will never get back together with her. He messaged me constantly but I was not interested and then 2 weeks after that we saw him out with his ex .smh . That's why trust your gut instinct and yes do not get into a relationship relationship someone recently divorced or single after a long relationship.
My ex didn't take the time to heal n was with another woman who he was with for ten years after us. When we have talked in his head he acts like it was yesterday. Meanwhile I healed very messily, let go n moved on so many times he's just a bump in the road
Why does relationship need to be treated like games! ? If i want to run after someone and he loves me…. He should be running towards me no? Can’t wait on forever for push and pull …. Shiet
Priceless advice. I'm 55 & I had never ever experienced this type of behavior from a man. Men never pulled away, they always wanted a deeper commitment. But, just a few weeks ago for the first time in my life, it happened. Put me into a tailspin. Blamed it on myself for losing my mojo/getting old. Still recovering but, TY for this incredible advice...especially now since on back on the dating scene...without "entitlement."
I'm 52 and have gone through thisnsame thing for the last 7 years. Yes, Men used to want commitment but in my opinion, and this pertains to both men and woman, is once life has had its way with you, its like you get to the point that you dont have the energy for it and dont want to out in the effort so they dont care about it anymore.
This is extremely common in all men but more so in the 40 & 50 year old category. It's ridiculous 😒🙄 but move on ladies. We are all too good for game players at this stage.
It's funny that Coach Corey Wayne advocates the same thing for men to do to women hesitant or showing inconsistent interest. Ultimately, meeting a great romantic partner is like meeting a new best friend; it's unforced and natural. There will be no need to play games and we won't feel the need to seek validation.
Grt video but except that its not entitlement. Its a healthy want for consistency & dedication from him. If he is playing or unsure, best v move on. Don't fix or wait.
I love your advice it’s amazing! Thank you so much! I never chase anymore and they always come back, I find it shows confidence. ❤️🥰 thanks for your tips
I would really love to read your books. I have a feeling they’re the best books on relationships. Other books take me to childhood wounds, trauma, etc. Not fun, not helpful. Your outlook is so empowering, actually sobering. Thank you. 😇
Don't expect him to act a certain way. When he doesn't act properly then you have the choice to move on. Don't collect red flags. Remember, dating is to see if you fit. Don't jump in too quickly. Everything that is meaningful is taken slowly.
I like this way of viewing the situation. If he is truly interested and wants to be with you he will make an effort. They aren't worth my love if they aren't. I understand where I stand now. No effort=not interested enough to invest even a small moment. Good to know. I'm that fool that stands with conviction. Strong minded. Patient. Far too understanding. It is my very own fault for waiting on a man that obviously DOES NOT want to invest in me and our marriage. Time to cut bait and fund another fishing hole! Someplace I actually wanted, appreciated and desired. Live has nothing to do with it. Nothing at all! After all... I love the color blue. .. and chocolate. .. long walks on the beach. .. him. Love isn't enough.
The reason we are so insecure in todays dating market is because we are sleeping with me who haven’t claimed us. So we don’t feel comfortable. If he married you first those things would be lessened. We can’t help it it’s nothing wrong with us just biology.
Haha gurl yass! I don’t care anymore. I never understood why women care to prove themselves to someone who pulls away. If they don’t care, I don’t care 🤷♀️
This is good info. A new connection came in by text but it has gone off, I felt he was a bit full on too soon. I did not trust this energy. We don't know eachother.
I got ghosted and didn’t know. He was on vacation with kids and got covid. We had a date for when he was to return he was supposed to call me and let me know if finally covid free. He didn’t call for days and all his kids and family discussed coming back from great vacation. I gave him days and finally texted to ask if he was feeling better and healthy and nothing. My bestie said he had appeared back on Facebook dating and I find out his page was not blocked for her. He blocked me on Facebook and his phone. Turns out he also had two accounts on Facebook for more women. Thankfully I watched this recently with my bestie and I didn’t go but crazy. TY
Lol 😝… @6:48… “I mean… “I still have to to alphabetically arrange my fridge and I have to teach my cat 🐈 how to play chess with me..” soooo… yeah… I’m way too busy 😋😆😝✨‼️‼️
Thank you for this.. i have been single for nearly 5 years after a breakup and recently started dating again.. then i met this great guy and we went on a date.. even after our date we were doing fine for few days..and then suddenly this same thing happened to me.. he canceled on me three times.. and I slowly made it worse..still don't know what really happened he was super into me at first and the next thing i knew was him trying to pull away.. never gave me a valid reason.. now m at phase where m trying to move on..
IF YOU TOLERATE DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR FROM ANYONE THEN DONT BE SURPRISED WHEN IT CONTINUES 🤨 PEOPLE CAN ONLY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT IS ACCEPTED BY THEM NO ONE ELSE IS TO BLAME. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ALLOWED SOMEONE TO MISTREAT YOU. GO TO THE NEAREST MIRROR AND TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK...YOU WILL FIND EITHER YOUR BEST FRIEND IN IT OR YOUR WORST ENEMY. THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU. 🤔 💡
"Men who cannot make up their mind are not worth your love."
Damn right.
Goes both ways
Goes both ways
five months with me with consistency and stuff and then tells me he's trying to figure his feelings out and tells me he doesn't want to waste anyone's time. He wasted 5 months, saying he's glad I'm serious and have no bullshit attitude, but he is bullshitting me....
@@BelleApostolovaThat's me right now and he had told me that he wanted "something serious"! Oh boy...
The Biggest Coward Is A man, Who Awakens A Woman's Love, With No Intention Of Loving Her
From the great Bob Marley 👉
You say it best my friend!!
That s my case and i have suffered from it...
@@Florenge777 keep going Hun..
U deserve only the best.. keep doing you xx
@@Florenge777 don't fall in love too fast, let him love you first, this will save you from lots of heart break. Hope you will overcome soon!
Ladie stay away from inconsistent and inconsiderate men. When they really want you there will
be no question. Don’t be gaslighted into the idea of having to give them space and be detached and cool with uncertainty. That doesn’t feel good because it’s not healthy!
agree....if you find yourself confused, then chances are something's not quite right. if he's really into you and being with you, then you won't have to guess what he's thinking or what his intentions are.
➕
Agree, when he loves you you will know, if you don't know, then probably he doesn't.
Goes both ways
@cayene angel Agreedy
When you start playing roles and strategies, deep down you know he's/she's not the right person ;-)
Both parties are demonstrating their insecurities, by hiding them, from each other. But it's promoted as a boss move.
BINGO!!
True
Hmm it depends
Exactly.
Social media has heightened this behavior on both sides. A man shows you who he is by his actions. You have to be strong enough to decide you are better than that and move on. It's better to be single and happy than miserable with someone who doesn't respect you.
@Yummi GummiBear every guy i know has been fucked over by a woman in the past, that shit sticks with you forever.
Girl all you need is attention and love from Yourself. Needing it from external sources shows you are still in 3d, please go inward. Show attention to yourself, notice yourself, you have hidden secrets inside your soul, search them.
Spot on
True
People show you who they are by their actions
It goes both ways
Basically: just bc someone showed interest for a time doesnt mean they owe you even more attention. Even though you start to expect it. Love this advice cos it took me ages to learn.
True, but he does owe you the same level of respect as any other human being. Ghosting is a sign of low-class character.
@@user-kb8qw7dy4t yes
@@user-kb8qw7dy4t 100% emotional abuse.
Sad still… cant believe it’s so complicated tho…..
@@user-kb8qw7dy4t amen to that
If I could be honest here... I feel like these male dating coaches give women advice instead of giving men advice on how to deal with their emotional unavailability and inability to manage relationships. They always forget attachment styles and how many men actually struggle to maintain connection. He's telling us that men should be self-sacrificial and basically idolize us, but Narcs do the same thing when pursing. I wish we would be more honest and give men and women advice how to be healthy instead of trying to navigate toxic behaviors.
There are are alot of men and women who are avoidant and pull away because of their own emotional struggles.
There are many coaching sites for men to learn more about women and their needs.
Yes I agree. How about … hey guys … BE HONEST
I know! All these advice channels are about how (mostly) women have to navigate these f-ed up guys - it's ridiculous
I agree. I think it’s becoming more and more clear that we are not teaching men how to handle relationships properly and own their emotional maturity. Let’s face it, men are NOT taught how to navigate that and in turn end up treating their partners poorly. If everyone is reporting on the same thing then it’s an obvious pattern in society…
On the flip side, women have to stop looking for men to validate them and learn to be a little more detached and not so quick to give their heart away to someone who gives them a bit of attention.
The best way to navigate all this is to navigate yourself and not fall victim to this generic advice and understand these behaviors are unhealthy for everyone involved.
My 2c is that men are not looking for coaching the way women are. Women will pay someone who they think will help them find lasting relationships. Men won't.
someone neglecting you is simply not for you. Please don't waste ur precious time on them. Someone better is waiting to meet you❣
i don’t expect the same amount of attention all the time. I only expect to be notified about what’s going on.
That’s right. It’s called common courtesy. It’s ridiculous you can’t even ask questions without the fear of being a psycho
Yep. Even if it’s hurtful. I give him that. Being honest…after leading me on…RRRIIIGGHHTTT!!! 😝😆😝
@@cletuspzas1 let’s just throw them down and take what we want!!! Then leave “as friends”. 😂🤣😂🤣
So true. I was wiling to end it because of the guy's strange behavior. He told me he was interested & promised to improve. He did improve a little bit, at least he does not disappear for weekends anymore & informs me if he will be busy right ahead. I still have my doubts about his level of investment, so this video comes quite handy :)
@@cletuspzas1 m mom m mmmm mom m mmmm mm I'm
Spot on! Thank you for validating my thoughts and actions. I’m always polite, mirror his level of interest, or lack, there of. No negative emotions, no entitlement. Simply disappointment and thinking about lessons learned. Trust is difficult at any age, especially at 70. Many years of experience in relationships of every genre has taught me to simply observe others and allow natural behavior unfold. I’m a free spirit and respect boundaries. I appreciate the same.
I like your thinking !
Oh god you're 70... Dating men really never does get better does it 😂🤬
@@enarcmcfly 😂
What if they go silent because of dealing with too many stresses in their life atm, should we give up on them or give them space?
@@jessicamn4086 healthy partners will communicate that they're dealing with a lot before disappearing. You can try and be understanding, but if they never offer you an explanation for coming and going like that, you better demand one before getting in too deep with someone who can't have a healthy relationship.
I like how you say, it will happen to you too. So true. Both men and women pull away from time to time. Ups and downs. Doubts from time to time. Even may not feel “ready”. It’s human nature. In most cases. It doesn’t just happen to the man.
Sometimes you just have to focus on life and yourself and let the other person mature (or not) and figure things out. If they r worth your investment. Then just be patient. Forgiving. And if u two have love and respect for each other, things will work out and you two will be together eventually. Everyone and everything can’t always be on the same page all at once in life. There may be separation pain and disappointment even. But if he is high value then be patient. He will come back around w eventually. Life has a way of “maturing us all up” over time. And we finally “realize” what we want and what is good in our lives and then “we r ready”...to move forward to the next level. But it has to come natural from his (or her) own feee will and heart.
He will suddenly wake up one day and realize. I need this woman in my life. Her love. Her presence. Her aura. Her energy. Her care. Her shoulder. Her arms. Her ear. Her lips. Her scent. Her eyes. Her safety and understanding. Her partnership. Her friendship. Her heart. Her opinion. Her talents and abilities. Her tenderness. Her laughter. Her spirit. Her passion. HER. My baby. I need her I want her and her alone, and I don’t want to lose her or let her go to any other man.
Then he will be ready.
Sometimes it takes suffering pain and loss to come to our senses. Both men and women.
Wow…
Well said ❤
Yes but. . just try to don't waste your entire life waiting for his awakening. Even with a "high value man".
Very well said
I needed to hear this 😭🙏🏼
This is why women need to ‘ quantum date ‘ don’t just wait around for a man. Peel your energy off him and get on with your life.
That's not an option for grey ace 🤷 we still deserve to be treated with dignity even if we can't master the art of romantic distraction. I don't think a battle of who can care less is necessarily the answer to the dumpster fire dating has become over the last ten years.
I love that "Peel your energy off of him"
@@enarcmcfly it’s not who can care less, dating helps weed out the ones who are not right for you. Women make the mistake of waiting around and over investing on one man. This puts way too much pressure on him and usually pushes him away. Women need to keep their energy off of the man they like in order to allow HIM to step up and show interest. When women full on pursue or expect things it’s a big turn off. In dating no one owes anyone an explanation ever.
The thing is, if someone isn't contacting you anymore, or doesn't seem to want to do anything, that person has lost interest. Doesn't matter how much you might love someone, you can't force them to love you back. So when a guy or girl does this, it's time to move on.
Life is too short to play games. If someone really likes you, or loves you, the last thing they will do, is keep you waiting, to go radio silent, too suddenly not seem to have time for you anymore. Someone that's really into you, will move heaven and earth to be with you.
So if you're getting the silent treatment, it's more than likely time to move on. To me, that's a sign of disrespect. They are leaving you hanging, because they don't want to tell you the truth, that they aren't really interested anymore.
Don't beg for another chance. If they already written you off, that's their loss, and you most likely dodge a bullet anyway.
You're looking for the One, and you should never have to fight for the One's attention. They should want to be with you, as much as you want to be with them.
Trust and Respect are the 2 most important things in any relationship. Once either of these are broken, your relationship is going down hill. Love is a 2 way street. Don't stay in a relationship, just because you love them, if they aren't giving back to you as much as you're giving them. Life is too short to be with someone that doesn't really love you.
There is a reason why the Divorce rate is so high. Finding the One is harder than you think. IMO, you should find someone that likes the same things as you do. If you end up with someone where you always stay in different rooms of the house, because you don't like what your SO is doing, than imo, that's a problem. You should find someone that likes the same things. So you can do those things together. Because otherwise, if your not in the same room, what kind of relationship is that. Attraction is only going to carry you so far, after awhile, that might get old. If you can't stand being in the same room with each other, that doesn't sound like a good recipe for a good relationship.
I learned as much from what you wrote as the video so thank you 😊
Well said! 💯🎯
Sometimes its not silent treatment but no contact to protect yourself. 😔
Its not that they don't care but care too much to not get hurt.
@@lor5850 True, but does that really matter to the other person. You cut off contact, you have a person that's really interested in you. That's taking you seriously, and you can't handle it.
It's not fair to the other person, they shouldn't have to put their life, and feelings on hold, when they have no idea why you won't talk to them, that you seem to never have time for them.
There doesn't appear to be much difference between someone who doesn't care for you, and stops talking to you, then someone that cares too much, and can't handle talking to you. In both cases, that person has lost you in the relationship.
It would be better for the other person to move on with their life, and find someone that's ready for a relationship. Maybe if you see that they are moving on, it will get you to make a decision, and overcome your issues, or maybe you'll lose out again.
Either way, life is too short to be with someone who won't communicate in a relationship. Being with someone that has you constantly wondering if they care about you or not is not a good relationship to be in.
Your love for someone alone, isn't enough reason to stay in a relationship. A relationship is a two way street.
If something is stopping your from showing how you really feel about someone, it could be a sign, that they aren't the right person for you. Because you don't feel like you can trust your heart to them.
There will always be some risk to your heart when your trying to build a relationship.
Setup rules for yourself, to slow things down. So you have time to know how you feel. Just make sure the other person isn't let wondering if they are wasting their time or not. If they really like you, they will wait for you, but cutting them off, just tells them they are wasting their time. It takes time to build a real relationship, so make sure you both get the time needed to know if it's the real thing for both of you.
Wow well said!
I don't know why, but your videos calm me down whenever I am insecure. You're a very practical person. Thank you so much!
I agree, Brian has a very calming effect on an anxious mind! 💛
Yeah you can count on him pulling away. Just be sure that you gave him Nothing of yourself that he can take with him.
And that would be ?
Spot on!!!!
Yep always
KEY : TRUST THE PROCESS ❤
Nobody owes each other love , they don’t have to love us, and we don’t have to love them . Let them free
Maybe I won’t have another relationship, maybe I’ll jump the fence, maybe I’ll find a guy who likes me, and has emotional maturity…I’ve gotten to the point in my life where ghosting is an automatic move on. I don’t have time for that nonsense.
They have been ghosting before it became a fad!! 😂🤣😂🤣
Same
Where were you in the '60s and 70s when I was falling for narcissist types and getting my heart crushed. Oh, right! You weren't born yet. Your advice is great. I just wish I had gotten it 60 years ago!
I have been dealing with these feelings for the past week, and this video came at exatly the right time! Thank you. I needed to hear this. Detachment is so very hard for me, but it's a process. I'm getting better! It really helps to hear (again, lol) that it's normal, and it's ok to feel rejected, even though it may not be rejection. Thank you.
I know how you feel. I've been rejected by so many people and being ghosted by someone I cared about hurts. Detaching is something I have to work with
The thing I don't understand about men is why show interest in the beginning then tell later on that you're not sure what you want.
This is even better than those Tarot readings saying he will get STDs ❤️ love your work man, thanks for bringing mental sanity back
🤣
Lol
😂😂😂😂😂
My badass reaction is to date someone else and ignore him. Bye bye
Knowing sooner than later is indeed better ❤
Specifically: if a man is getting off & the woman is not, his 'needs' are getting met and then she appears 'needy' if she asks for more... That's why women need to be careful. If it's ok for you as a woman to sleep with a guy and he is the only one climaxing, he is fulfilled yet eventually this may create 'need', expectation or even a neediness in the woman that the man starts to pull away or call out. Guys will leave if the woman appears 'too needy' yet not even realize both have needs that need fulfillment. That's often why if the guy can make the weekly calls, romance, share a card or find what fulfills her, the relationship may grow. Admit it: guys often only need '3 minutes of a woman's time'... He's all set. Women need to be hear & need to have space to speak up to what will bring them bliss. Women deserve more than 'a minute man'. ... just a perspective to think about.
Yep if they only care about their own pleasure that's not a real man. Real men thrive and pride themselves about pleasing a woman.
How about pull away yourself or better yet, learn to love yourself or go find someone else. Maybe start helping kids in need or helping the elderly. Find love and hope in God, He will never pull away or keep you guessing. Find someone who understands this.
True. Find love inside your mind and heart. It isn't outside of you, people are learning this. Love and attention is inside, you can only get in from within. And it is always there.
Amen. Wise words.
Seriously 😐 Yes!
😆 i love this guy's humor
thank you for confirming what I suspected. Watch the actions. Own your power by asking for what you want!
If he doesn't respond then you have your clarity. Also what consoles me, that is not the way I want to be treated. Nor do I have *any* interest in immature game playing.
Tell what your intention is at the first place, so it will prevent the pain in the future. If you just want to have someone to be sleeping next to you, just tell them. If you want a relationship but isn't ready to commit, then tell them. Don't make someone believes that you love them if you don't mean it.
Exactly! Just tell us at the get go. We can take it! Don’t lead us to believe it is real then pull the rug out! 🤬 “weak” move, “weak”! It’s called teasing and it infuriates us ladies too!
Aan your name in our language means “sun”. What does it mean in yours?
@@hilo5901 , wow really? What language is that? I'm so honor an flatter to know about my name in other language. My late father said it means the apple of somebody's eyes.
You’ll be lucky to get that info out of them let alone if they’re seeing other people. Decide if their actions match their words and their overall vibe. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you or even be honest. Control your own destiny.
That’s kinda naive to say.
Personally, I stopped explaining things to people or being too frank with people I just met : too many of them get in rage, react violently, or try to humiliate you.
At some point, you just stop putting your energy into this kind of things.
Anyways, when you go out a little bit, you start seeing snowflakes immediately.
P.S. about people who are lying about loving you - those are manipulators, narcissists, predators etc etc when you learn, that horrible people exist, and are ready to harm, you’re kinda shocked at first, but then you kinda make peace with it and learn to discern them (with time it becomes easy, but you should stop trusting people too much).
Thank you for your wise words. I have been separated for 6 months and plan on giving myself a year to heal after a 30 year marriage. My ex jumped into dating 2 weeks after our separation. Beware of anyone who does not take time after a long term relationship to heal and self reflect. You will be taking on baggage that does not help create a healthy relationship. My goal is to have a happy and healthy life on my own before dating again.
So true. There was guy, 8 months divorced after a 15 year marriage . He swore he was done with his ex and said he will never get back together with her. He messaged me constantly but I was not interested and then 2 weeks after that we saw him out with his ex .smh . That's why trust your gut instinct and yes do not get into a relationship relationship someone recently divorced or single after a long relationship.
My ex didn't take the time to heal n was with another woman who he was with for ten years after us. When we have talked in his head he acts like it was yesterday. Meanwhile I healed very messily, let go n moved on so many times he's just a bump in the road
2022: cleansed and reborn and delighted and in love, and so it is❣
Detach from a certain outcome - yes! Yes! Amazing!
Why does relationship need to be treated like games! ? If i want to run after someone and he loves me…. He should be running towards me no? Can’t wait on forever for push and pull …. Shiet
Geert you ARE my hero! I love how helpful you are! After watching a dozen of your videos, this is my favorite thus far!
This is absolutely amazing!! What an intelligent way to teach us how to humble our emotions 🙏
Priceless advice.
I'm 55 & I had never ever experienced this type of behavior from a man.
Men never pulled away, they always wanted a deeper commitment.
But, just a few weeks ago for the first time in my life, it happened.
Put me into a tailspin.
Blamed it on myself for losing my mojo/getting old.
Still recovering but, TY for this incredible advice...especially now since on back on the dating scene...without "entitlement."
I’m experiencing the same thing at 51, but I think the age thing is all in my head.
I'm 52 and have gone through thisnsame thing for the last 7 years. Yes, Men used to want commitment but in my opinion, and this pertains to both men and woman, is once life has had its way with you, its like you get to the point that you dont have the energy for it and dont want to out in the effort so they dont care about it anymore.
Nah dating has just turned into a trash fire over the last ten years don't beat yourself up
@@enarcmcfly haha that was funny
This is extremely common in all men but more so in the 40 & 50 year old category. It's ridiculous 😒🙄 but move on ladies. We are all too good for game players at this stage.
It's funny that Coach Corey Wayne advocates the same thing for men to do to women hesitant or showing inconsistent interest. Ultimately, meeting a great romantic partner is like meeting a new best friend; it's unforced and natural. There will be no need to play games and we won't feel the need to seek validation.
I love the humor you inject in your sound advice 😊
Thank you for making me chuckle while realizing the truth of what you explained 💕
Love how straight forward your points are .. very easy to grasp and transfer to real life.
Grt video but except that its not entitlement. Its a healthy want for consistency & dedication from him. If he is playing or unsure, best v move on. Don't fix or wait.
This is not just tips. Something about your videos makes it feel like an after therapy session.
My wounded heart thanks you for that 🙇🏻
Really good one - straight forward, simple and very on point.
The way you explain things is so kind and empathetic. Keep making the great content.
I love your advice it’s amazing! Thank you so much! I never chase anymore and they always come back, I find it shows confidence. ❤️🥰 thanks for your tips
Best video advice on what to do when he pulls away or when we think he pulls away. It brings peace of mind. Thank you!
Your advice is always so spot on. I just wish you shared more...
Thanks Brian! Great and valuable video ❤
I like how you say the truth and even teach us how to handle it. I've just started watching not long ago, and it's helping
#2 is truly golden. Thank you
Soooo good to hear this!
Such a nice way u represent it... Pls make such more videos❤❤❤i really love the content u give...
I would really love to read your books. I have a feeling they’re the best books on relationships. Other books take me to childhood wounds, trauma, etc. Not fun, not helpful. Your outlook is so empowering, actually sobering. Thank you. 😇
Don't expect him to act a certain way. When he doesn't act properly then you have the choice to move on. Don't collect red flags. Remember, dating is to see if you fit. Don't jump in too quickly. Everything that is meaningful is taken slowly.
Your voice is so calm. It easen me. Thank you
Geeertje bedankt voor al je hulp !!!
I like this way of viewing the situation. If he is truly interested and wants to be with you he will make an effort. They aren't worth my love if they aren't. I understand where I stand now.
No effort=not interested enough to invest even a small moment.
Good to know.
I'm that fool that stands with conviction. Strong minded.
Patient.
Far too understanding.
It is my very own fault for waiting on a man that obviously DOES NOT want to invest in me and our marriage. Time to cut bait and fund another fishing hole! Someplace I actually wanted, appreciated and desired. Live has nothing to do with it. Nothing at all! After all... I love the color blue. .. and chocolate. .. long walks on the beach. .. him. Love isn't enough.
The reason we are so insecure in todays dating market is because we are sleeping with me who haven’t claimed us. So we don’t feel comfortable. If he married you first those things would be lessened. We can’t help it it’s nothing wrong with us just biology.
Thank you, Brian for this video. Right now, after watching a few of your videos, I truly feel that I want to let it go.
This is my favorite video you’ve ever produced. Thank you.
2nd viewer. There was a time I used be like this but you know what ladies! Just be yourself nothing else matters
¹¹
Haha gurl yass! I don’t care anymore. I never understood why women care to prove themselves to someone who pulls away. If they don’t care, I don’t care 🤷♀️
You are SPOT ON Brian!!!🤗
I loooove listening to you, you are so funny ! 🤣🥳💝
Thank u Brian 👌
This is good info. A new connection came in by text but it has gone off, I felt he was a bit full on too soon. I did not trust this energy. We don't know eachother.
I got ghosted and didn’t know. He was on vacation with kids and got covid. We had a date for when he was to return he was supposed to call me and let me know if finally covid free. He didn’t call for days and all his kids and family discussed coming back from great vacation. I gave him days and finally texted to ask if he was feeling better and healthy and nothing. My bestie said he had appeared back on Facebook dating and I find out his page was not blocked for her. He blocked me on Facebook and his phone. Turns out he also had two accounts on Facebook for more women. Thankfully I watched this recently with my bestie and I didn’t go but crazy. TY
Thank you for this video. You are so right!
BRIAN 👏 THANK YOU SIR
He is pulling away this weekend but he showed interest and took actions for long relationship with me,so,I m not going to be sad about it
Most relatable advice I've heard on all these videos I've watched thank you sir
Perfect! My mind always works that way.
A busy man: I have to teach my cat how to play chess 😂😂😂
I’m sure your cat can play chess as long as your willing to pick up the pieces off the floor constantly and restarting the game 🤣😂🤣
😂😂😂😂
Dating is not fun at least not to me. I've never cared for the uncertainty amongst other annoyances.
Lol 😝… @6:48… “I mean… “I still have to to alphabetically arrange my fridge and I have to teach my cat 🐈 how to play chess with me..” soooo… yeah… I’m way too busy 😋😆😝✨‼️‼️
ONE of the Best videos!!!
I needed to remind myself about what you spoke today. Thanks! 😊
Thank you, Brian!
Thanks for this advice. Made me feel a decision right now.
Thank you for this.. i have been single for nearly 5 years after a breakup and recently started dating again.. then i met this great guy and we went on a date.. even after our date we were doing fine for few days..and then suddenly this same thing happened to me.. he canceled on me three times.. and I slowly made it worse..still don't know what really happened he was super into me at first and the next thing i knew was him trying to pull away.. never gave me a valid reason.. now m at phase where m trying to move on..
Watch the Toxic dating coach on TH-cam. He tells you how to deal with players
Thank You for this 💐
I just needed to listen to this today . Thank you 🙏
Best to let go in the beginning and not care about what he does or does not do.
Superb.. Great advice @ right time of my life. Thanks, friend!
Thank you again Brian... needed to hear this ❤️
Excellent 👌🏻👏🏻 TYVM
Wow...this is very interesting and unusual to hear. Thanks for sharing this 👍👍👍🔥🔥👌👌
Thank you! You give me hope!
IF YOU TOLERATE DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR FROM ANYONE THEN DONT BE SURPRISED WHEN IT CONTINUES 🤨 PEOPLE CAN ONLY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT IS ACCEPTED BY THEM NO ONE ELSE IS TO BLAME. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ALLOWED SOMEONE TO MISTREAT YOU. GO TO THE NEAREST MIRROR AND TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK...YOU WILL FIND EITHER YOUR BEST FRIEND IN IT OR YOUR WORST ENEMY. THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU. 🤔 💡
You speak soooo well!!
I needed to hear this. Great video!
Brian, your cute and you give good advice. I like how you get to the point with your examples and keep it directly simple. Thanks
Brian! Thank you ☺️
I love you. Thank you for this!
Thank you this really helped.
I think this is great advice. Thank you!
Great advice, as always…thank you! 💝💝💝
Very enlightening and clear, thank you.
This was so informative, thank you 👌🏽
Very good advice. Best strategies on the subject, I've see so far.😍
Thanks for your advice and I'll msg exactly those words to him and if he doesn't respond he's not worth my time...
Such wise advice! Thank you for your video.
Sometimes just being yourself will cause more trouble if you don't have enough knowledge how to navigate relationship with a guy.
Exactly