I spent my younger years running from myself, being in the company of people who mistreated me and have long forgotten about me. Now, at the edge of 60, I'm alone but far from lonely. I've curated my life in ways I enjoy and I get out of the house to attend appointments, run errands and occasionally socialize. That's good enough.
I am in your shoes too. I have a hobby that I have been passionate about since I was a child and really helps me. It doesn't solve all my problems but it does help.😊
alone all my days, it is all i know. spend 99.89% of my time alone. dont like going out unless i have to to get food/drs/meds a few other places than back to the place. no matter how humble there is no place like .... home
You won't be alone when you get a little dog and you will meet plenty of people/ friends.. Great subject, Phil. I'm glad you're talking about this & helping your audience.
Phil, you are right about bringing up these topics because it does help to talk about these issues in our senior years. Putting out suggestions or comments may help someone else along this journey.
This ended like the final Sopranos episode. Lots of labored breathing, unanswered questions and the screen going dark. Strangers...waiting, in the dark...
You can be alone, but not lonely. ☮️💜 I only leave my home to go to the shops or appointments. That’s enough outing’s for me. Definitely not a hoarder!
I do the same, and I'm alright with it. After my wife passed 3 years ago everyone was saying get out and find someone, go to group meets and such. Yes I wish my wife was still with me but I'll be with her again one day. I've learned how to be by myself, my 3 rescue dogs keep me company, just how my life turned out.
Too many folk love going on about being alone as though it was some kind of a plague. It isn't! Being alone allows one to focus on what is important in one's life, without the distraction of dealing with 'tripe' that is totally worthless, and folk who are so insecure, they cannot bear their own company. If I cannot be my own best friend, it doesn't seem reasonable to expect others to like, or want to be around me. As I age, I find myself having less and less patience for others, I have become far more selective concerning who I choose spend my time with. That said, my two pups are always happy to see me, one is resting her chin on my hand even as I type. And, they are always quick to race to the front door at the slightest chance of going to the Dog Park, a walk around the lake, or a ride in their pet stroller as we navigate yet another visit to the Humane Society's Thrift Store. They ask so little, and give so much in return, all hassle free. The same cannot be said of most humans!
First of all everyone please hang in there because loneliness can be like a shadow that's tough to get rid of. It is depressing, exhausting and confusing -- you see someone with people and you say "why can't I be with someone?" And for those who are looking to find a friend that can be exhausting. Just this conversation on this channel in beneficial because we are making contact with others. Right now during the holiday season I have something wrong with my leg that is stopping me from even walking around the city something that I love to do during holiday season. Please don't give up hope because thanks to this channel we are not alone -- we have each other. The key may be to do something we enjoy so that we have an attitude of optimism,
It's especially hard for those of us older than social media because we remember what real community is. It's such a loss and so unhealthy (literally to your physical health) to isolate. Please don't do it, keep connecting. I force myself and it does really help. Volunteering is a great way to feel better and connect. ❤
This reminds me of an old cartoon I saw called The Farside by Gary Larson. It had a dishevelled middle aged guy in his underwear in a dark room sitting on the edge of his bed. On the nearby open window sill was an equally dishevelled mangy chicken looking at him. The caption underneath read "The Bluebird of happiness" having long departed, Bob was now visited on a daily basis by the "chicken of depression." 😁😁😁
Once a week, I attend a woodworking session at a community centre where I work on my projects. Before heading home, we enjoy coffee and chat together. I recently finished making a Christmas tree, and each session costs just AUD 3. I joined this group only recently, and we are all roughly the same age. That’s my social life.
nothing is going to change for introverts. there is no point in even trying to change. we dont do well in crowds of strangers, do poorly with interpesonal interactions.... i can hear it now... BUT U CAN LEARN!!!! no... we cant. we have nothing to talk abt incessantly with other ppl about nothing. CHILDREN SHD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD!!!! that mean NOT SEEN or HEARD. Id be watching TV, my best friend growing up... my only friend growing up, and mom would call out YOUR FATHERS HOME!!!! that was Code Speak for GTFO of the living room and go to your room and STAY THERE til called for dinner. ate dinner... no talking... when finished MAY i be excused... NOT "can" I be excused.... yes u MAY be excused. back to my cell with my 13" black and white cable tv... that "raised" me.
My recent ( 2005, and 2017 ) choice in dogs was to get a small female doggy. To me, females are easier to housebreak, and less likely to want to be peeing on everything they see or smell. And "small", because as I age, it's harder to lift a heavy dog, and I may need to do that to take the pup to the vet, etc.
stray cat/kitten was born on side of house.... it is now in the house. need fixed and then. not much of lap kitty but it is ok. some... thing to be around to talk to. not much of a talker but a good listener
Phil, you are a very thinking and creative sort of person. You have so many different ways of addressing these issues in your many videos. I am in a similar situation. Retired man, health fine, finances OK, but I lost my longtime partner, I'm not close to family, and friends have drifted away, moved away, or passed away. So mostly alone. All the best to you.
Well personally nothing wrong in changin your situation. I lost my bestie a while back. Never cried so much in my entire life. I really loved that guy. just didn't realize it. i don't like being alone so plan is to work on my ED I'm diabetic find a nice smile to get into and move o from there. I'm 69 btw
Same here. i have lots of low cost hobbies, enjoy listening to music, working in my yard, and am lucky enough to live in a area, where there is a lot of free outdoor activites.
Proper therapy will stop you being stuck in the past... Being alone isn't good for your mental health, sounds like Phil knows all the wrong people. Don't become old and disenchanted.
@@HamiltonRb Meh. In my world, people are anti-social creatures---especially women, homedwellers, pigs, journalists, guitarists, and anyone more than 5'5" tall.
People have such bad taste. No correct thst;... "Awful Taste". If they don't like or respect you, that could be a sign that you are perfectly alright and just fine. Who can seriously respect who they are, especially their mindset and their delusion that they are better than anyone else? That arrested development delusion is something that they should have grown out of, by the time they were 16 years old. But there are enough good mature people to seek out. You just have to look a little more and a little harder.
NOT IN THE US of mesico!!! unless we are 6'2" + tall, weigh no more than 200#, have pretty long hair and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY to give her.... her kids that all females have in the US as kids.... her friends/GFs/BFs that she has lots of. all we want is ONE WOMAN... not her kids, her ex's, her dogs/cats/gerbils/student loan payments, her Champaign and Caviar tastes that she expects a man to make 2x as much money as she does as she sits on her widening posterior in air conditioned/heat offices shuffling papers as men work like slaves out in the HOT HOT HOT HOT DESERT sun, cold winter winds/snow/ice/rain... and make less money that she does. THEN she has the audacity to say I WORK HARD!!!! weMEN dont know the MEANING OF HARD WORK . lets go out into the oilfield on drillin rigs... it is going to be 110 in the shade, there is no shade in desert. the floor motors are running 220*+ and we are down wind of the floor motors... diesel smoke pouring out of the pipes as the rig pulls over 200,000# of pipe out of the hole. no break time, for 8 solid hours. no bathroom. oil grease drilling mud all over us. coal mines? truck drivers lumpers on the loading docks loading the trucks . iron workers building you weMEN your offices so u are out of the elements. sadly weMEN now make as much or more money than men do... so they expect the man to "take care of her" (pay all her bills) and make 2-3...x the money that weMEN make in the HVAC comfort offices??? WOW. most men dont make the money weMEN do in offices, men risking their lives everyday
What "church?" You mean Sunday social club rock music type concerts wirh gossips and b.s. self center "nice"people, talking about their lives? Plus aingle mothers with their meal.tickets obnoxious rugrats hey to flirt with, no shane. Depends what "church"you talking about
I spent my younger years running from myself, being in the company of people who mistreated me and have long forgotten about me. Now, at the edge of 60, I'm alone but far from lonely. I've curated my life in ways I enjoy and I get out of the house to attend appointments, run errands and occasionally socialize. That's good enough.
I am in your shoes too. I have a hobby that I have been passionate about since I was a child and really helps me. It doesn't solve all my problems but it does help.😊
My dog keeps me from being lonely. We meet so many people on walks. My children are always busy….but that is ok, I enjoyed the solitude.
alone all my days, it is all i know. spend 99.89% of my time alone. dont like going out unless i have to to get food/drs/meds a few other places than back to the place. no matter how humble there is no place like .... home
@@NONAME-kw3pu so true
You won't be alone when you get a little dog and you will meet plenty of people/ friends.. Great subject, Phil. I'm glad you're talking about this & helping your audience.
Dont change your topics. Im one of those that have been helped by your videos ! You're right, not enough people talk about these things...🤷
@@SharonJacobs-r2h I wont but I do like to bring up new topics also to help others
@Philipbuono77 That's good.. Go where your heart and prayers lead you...🙏
Phil, you are right about bringing up these topics because it does help to talk about these issues in our senior years. Putting out suggestions or comments may help someone else along this journey.
This ended like the final Sopranos episode. Lots of labored breathing, unanswered questions and the screen going dark. Strangers...waiting, in the dark...
You can be alone, but not lonely. ☮️💜 I only leave my home to go to the shops or appointments. That’s enough outing’s for me. Definitely not a hoarder!
I do the same, and I'm alright with it. After my wife passed 3 years ago everyone was saying get out and find someone, go to group meets and such. Yes I wish my wife was still with me but I'll be with her again one day. I've learned how to be by myself, my 3 rescue dogs keep me company, just how my life turned out.
🦋✨🌈💥
Your channel helps so many.
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain't right
- R. Orbison
Damn, Phil, your videos always strike a nerve. Thought provoking content, if painful!
God bless, ya.
Too many folk love going on about being alone as though it was some kind of a plague. It isn't! Being alone allows one to focus on what is important in one's life, without the distraction of dealing with 'tripe' that is totally worthless, and folk who are so insecure, they cannot bear their own company. If I cannot be my own best friend, it doesn't seem reasonable to expect others to like, or want to be around me. As I age, I find myself having less and less patience for others, I have become far more selective concerning who I choose spend my time with. That said, my two pups are always happy to see me, one is resting her chin on my hand even as I type. And, they are always quick to race to the front door at the slightest chance of going to the Dog Park, a walk around the lake, or a ride in their pet stroller as we navigate yet another visit to the Humane Society's Thrift Store. They ask so little, and give so much in return, all hassle free. The same cannot be said of most humans!
Good Man, Phil!
First of all everyone please hang in there because loneliness can be like a shadow that's tough to get rid of. It is depressing, exhausting and confusing -- you see someone with people and you say "why can't I be with someone?" And for those who are looking to find a friend that can be exhausting. Just this conversation on this channel in beneficial because we are making contact with others. Right now during the holiday season I have something wrong with my leg that is stopping me from even walking around the city something that I love to do during holiday season. Please don't give up hope because thanks to this channel we are not alone -- we have each other. The key may be to do something we enjoy so that we have an attitude of optimism,
It's especially hard for those of us older than social media because we remember what real community is. It's such a loss and so unhealthy (literally to your physical health) to isolate. Please don't do it, keep connecting. I force myself and it does really help. Volunteering is a great way to feel better and connect. ❤
This reminds me of an old cartoon I saw called The Farside by Gary Larson. It had a dishevelled middle aged guy in his underwear in a dark room sitting on the edge of his bed. On the nearby open window sill was an equally dishevelled mangy chicken looking at him. The caption underneath read "The Bluebird of happiness" having long departed, Bob was now visited on a daily basis by the "chicken of depression." 😁😁😁
I'm alone 24/7 i love your channel.
Once a week, I attend a woodworking session at a community centre where I work on my projects. Before heading home, we enjoy coffee and chat together. I recently finished making a Christmas tree, and each session costs just AUD 3. I joined this group only recently, and we are all roughly the same age. That’s my social life.
I learned there are always 3 options and it is always our choice!
Do nothing / get out/ stay and work for change 🎉
nothing is going to change for introverts. there is no point in even trying to change. we dont do well in crowds of strangers, do poorly with interpesonal interactions.... i can hear it now... BUT U CAN LEARN!!!! no... we cant. we have nothing to talk abt incessantly with other ppl about nothing. CHILDREN SHD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD!!!! that mean NOT SEEN or HEARD.
Id be watching TV, my best friend growing up... my only friend growing up, and mom would call out YOUR FATHERS HOME!!!! that was Code Speak for GTFO of the living room and go to your room and STAY THERE til called for dinner. ate dinner... no talking... when finished MAY i be excused... NOT "can" I be excused.... yes u MAY be excused. back to my cell with my 13" black and white cable tv... that "raised" me.
Everyone's different. I go to work. I chill with my dog, apart from that im alone. Nothing wrong in that. Im happy :)
I think a lot of people spend a lifetime running from themselves. Living alone can force you to make friends with yourself. Which is not a bad thing.
My recent ( 2005, and 2017 ) choice in dogs was to get a small female doggy. To me, females are easier to housebreak, and less likely to want to be peeing on everything they see or smell. And "small", because as I age, it's harder to lift a heavy dog, and I may need to do that to take the pup to the vet, etc.
stray cat/kitten was born on side of house.... it is now in the house. need fixed and then. not much of lap kitty but it is ok. some... thing to be around to talk to. not much of a talker but a good listener
Love this! Totally agree!
I have been preserving 28 years. It’s about done.
Phil, you are a very thinking and creative sort of person. You have so many different ways of addressing these
issues in your many videos. I am in a similar situation. Retired man, health fine, finances OK, but I lost my longtime partner, I'm not
close to family, and friends have drifted away, moved away, or passed away. So mostly alone. All the best to you.
If I had to do all over, I would have hired a maid with benefits. Much cheaper in the long run.
Me too!
Either you have the stones for it or you don't.
Well personally nothing wrong in changin your situation. I lost my bestie a while back. Never cried so much in my entire life. I really loved that guy. just didn't realize it. i don't like being alone so plan is to work on my ED I'm diabetic find a nice smile to get into and move o from there. I'm 69 btw
Phil - This video cut off at 2:49. Also, your last few videos have a noise in the background. Is it maybe a space heater?
@@dorothygillespie4466 sorry it was a pellet stove running cold day life happens 😂
facts🙏💚🧚
Spouse is terminal
That's a break up
Maybe I'll get a pet
Talking is good because a lot of us are alone and it's important
God bless
I enjoy being alone....and I've never been lonely.
Same here. i have lots of low cost hobbies, enjoy listening to music, working in my yard, and am lucky enough to live in a area, where there is a lot of free outdoor activites.
You must be a freak.
Coincidence?
Proper therapy will stop you being stuck in the past... Being alone isn't good for your mental health, sounds like Phil knows all the wrong people. Don't become old and disenchanted.
Being alone is the only way to stay sane today. Misanthropism is its own reward.
@@theunaccompaniedseniormisogyny is bad for your health
@@theunaccompaniedseniorBeing alone all the time is a choice that would drive me insane. People are meant to be with others, we are social creatures.
@@HamiltonRb Meh. In my world, people are anti-social creatures---especially women, homedwellers, pigs, journalists, guitarists, and anyone more than 5'5" tall.
There are extroverts and introverts. Do you.
After dating two narcissists. Im very comfortable being with my cats and turned off of dating.
People have such bad taste. No correct thst;... "Awful Taste". If they don't like or respect you, that could be a sign that you are perfectly alright and just fine. Who can seriously respect who they are, especially their mindset and their delusion that they are better than anyone else? That arrested development delusion is something that they should have grown out of, by the time they were 16 years old. But there are enough good mature people to seek out. You just have to look a little more and a little harder.
you still get married, there are caffes where you can invite woman to meet you, it will cost about 45 dollars a date
Every man's best life is one without a woman in it.
@@theunaccompaniedsenioranother mysoginist
@@theunaccompaniedsenior - And vice versa..
NOT IN THE US of mesico!!! unless we are 6'2" + tall, weigh no more than 200#, have pretty long hair and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY to give her.... her kids that all females have in the US as kids.... her friends/GFs/BFs that she has lots of. all we want is ONE WOMAN... not her kids, her ex's, her dogs/cats/gerbils/student loan payments, her Champaign and Caviar tastes that she expects a man to make 2x as much money as she does as she sits on her widening posterior in air conditioned/heat offices shuffling papers as men work like slaves out in the HOT HOT HOT HOT DESERT sun, cold winter winds/snow/ice/rain... and make less money that she does. THEN she has the audacity to say I WORK HARD!!!!
weMEN dont know the MEANING OF HARD WORK . lets go out into the oilfield on drillin rigs... it is going to be 110 in the shade, there is no shade in desert. the floor motors are running 220*+ and we are down wind of the floor motors... diesel smoke pouring out of the pipes as the rig pulls over 200,000# of pipe out of the hole. no break time, for 8 solid hours. no bathroom. oil grease drilling mud all over us. coal mines? truck drivers lumpers on the loading docks loading the trucks . iron workers building you weMEN your offices so u are out of the elements. sadly weMEN now make as much or more money than men do... so they expect the man to "take care of her" (pay all her bills) and make 2-3...x the money that weMEN make in the HVAC comfort offices??? WOW. most men dont make the money weMEN do in offices, men risking their lives everyday
Go to church
What "church?" You mean Sunday social club rock music type concerts wirh gossips and b.s. self center "nice"people, talking about their lives? Plus aingle mothers with their meal.tickets obnoxious rugrats hey to flirt with, no shane. Depends what "church"you talking about
@@fortis6258 OUCH!